#what do you mean Tim Roth's american accent is bad?

[mickeyluggage]

One thing about me is I'll never be able to tell when an actor is faking an accent on screen unless I already know where they're from. I am absolutely incapable of differentiating a native american accent from a poorly endorsed one by a british actor. I do not understand the line between genuine british speaking and the parody of it.

Do not get me started on australian or scottish

[jalaluvsu]

Interference

https://beautiful-disasters-sunshine.tumblr.com/post/631749044177403904/what-if-marinette-was-tims-little-sister-who-was

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“Y’know, just ‘cause Kori’s got a baby coming doesn’t mean you can boss us around Robin,” Beastboy whined as he stepped out of the Zeta Tube.

He scoffed at the notion, “That’s literally exactly what I can and will do, you absolute buffoon.”

“Oh, shutup.”

He sighed. There isn’t ever a moment where Garfield doesn’t wish Starfire still led the Titans. The past three weeks have gone by at an agonizingly slow pace, filled with never ending fights between him and Damian. And! Before you get the wrong impression, no, he did not start these fights. In fact, he was practically the one getting attacked!

Really, what’d you expect him to do when Damian insulted tofu during dinner at the Waynes’? Smile and wave?

Laughable.

Garfield will tell you what happened after, whether he’s proud is a matter of who asks. Let’s just say Alfred’s put him on a month-long ban from the dining room at the manor; worth it, nonetheless.

“Beastboy, earth to Beastboy,” He heard Raven chant over comms. Oh, right, the mission.

“Reporting for duty!” he saluted obediently, like the responsible hero he is.  

“Stop standing there and you know, actually read the coordinates I sent to your navigator,” he grinned at her snark as he pulled out his compact. A hefty amount of unchecked notifications was in its wake.

Automated message coupons from the local pizza place at Jump City (hell yeah!)

Missed calls from Terra, he faltered at the offending contact; as if he would respond. The time for that has passed, long passed.

He scrolled down the small screen as he flitted his gaze past the hundreds of junk mail. Ah, and lastly, one lengthy preview of information regarding the mission. The text listed an address along with...enrollment details? Huh.

Garfield glanced both ways before crossing the busy street; him previously being in the too-bright alleyway. 

Okay, see, he knows what you’re thinking. Someone like him- or rather someone who looked like him, would stick out like a sore thumb. Especially in a place like Paris. How common were metahumans here? Probably not as high as the rate in Metropolis, that’s for sure.

There were only so many green colored people, and a good ninety-nine percent was or is associated with heroes (vigilantes, fine) or even aliens. That being said, he was keeping it on the down-low. In Paris, he wasn’t the cool, collected, and most desired by all Garfield Logan. In Paris, he was just Grant Roth. What? It’s a good cover! And he was planning on taking Raven’s surname eventually anyways. (wink wink, nudge nudge)

A few spells and enchantments via Magical Goth Gf ™ prior to his ride in the tubes later; he practically looked uncanny to his appearance before the whole ‘failed experiment injection’ thing. You know, a mop of auburn hair, pale as paper skin, and cutesy little freckles (Blue Beetle’s words, not his) (Okay, maybe it was his too..)

Garfield pulled out his pocketed compact once he safely made it across the street. Now that he gave more than a glance at the address it looked...short. In fact, it was vague, extremely vague. He discreetly looked around for any eavesdroppers and lowered his voice to a whisper as he walked down the 21st arrondissement.

“Uh, guys? Where exactly am I supposed to go?”

He hated not knowing how to do something he was expected to, incredibly so.

“I was hoping you’d dispose of your body there,” he paused, "but since you asked so nicely, we’ll tell you.” Robin chimed in matter-of-factly.

Garfield could practically feel the next set of words. He didn’t know what they were, but they were going to suck. He just knew it.

Raven took a long swig of coffee before announcing the dreaded news, “We’ve signed you up for a foreign exchange student program,” 

Ah,

“You what?!” he shrieked. A couple of onlookers gave him dirty glances, he smiled sheepishly.

Blue Beetle toggled his audio, “C’mon Gar-“ Robin interrupted,

“No names on field!”

 “Shutuuuuup,” he drawled out.

“Anyways, Beastboy,’’ cue pointed glare at Robin,’’ did you really think we’d let you roam around without a leash for what? Three months? In a foreign country of all places?” Garfield could practically hear the smirk in his voice, the fucker.

“I was hoping, yeah!” Damn. He thought he would get away with them actually trusting him here alone, wishful thinking on his part.

He pouted at the idea as he scouted for a place to lounge in.

Raven huffed, “You’ll be living with a host family during your stay at Paris, if it wasn’t clear enough already.”

He froze; what other surprises were up their sleeves?!

“C’mon, be real for a sec. I’m a superhero, I don’t need to go to public school, I don’t need a couple of strangers!” he stressed as he weaved between crowds of Parisians.

Ooh, a bench. He sat with the intent of winning this argument, no matter the consequence. So what if he looked crazy, supposedly talking to himself? Priorities people, priorities.

“Doom Patrol’s strict orders, you know, ‘cause they can’t homeschool you a whole continent away,” Jamie deadpanned.

Garfield dragged a hand down his face. Stupid Doom Patrol, stupid worrying for his wellbeing. “But- it’s a mission!” he gestured rapidly, in clear exasperation.

Jaime tsked, “And? Gotta keep that brain of yours in tip-top shape, amigo!”

“Whatever, man;” he got up to dust himself off, “still don’t know how that’s related to the address on the Seine but- “

“They live there, your host family,” Raven supplied.

Garfield scratched his chin in wonder. Who lives in a body of water? That’s so- Wait. His friends were totally holding out on him!

“You guys didn’t tell me I’d be staying with Aquaman! That makes this ten times better!”

What were the chances that the man himself was in Paris too? They can bond over sea creatures, and Garfield could show him his animal transformations! This mission wasn’t so bad, it wasn’t bad at all. He had an extra skip in his step as he pranced down the pavement.

“Are you entirely brain dead?” Robin audibly face palmed,

”No, you’re not- you know what? Yes, you’re going to be living with Aquaman. At a river. In France,” quiet murmurs along the lines of ‘idiot, and ‘cómo adorable,’ sounded out from his remaining teammates.

“This is gonna be so awesome!” Garfield exclaimed giddily.

He spotted a boulangerie-pâtisserie a couple blocks away. Aha! Time to get him some sweet, sweet, treats. And hopefully, some directions.

“Robin spent weeks doing full analysis on the whole family,” Jaime grinned over the comm.

Raven cut in, “Even though it was incredibly self-destructive, “

Analysis? On the King of Atlantis? Boy, no one was safe from Damian’s wrath.

“Awww. You do care, Robin!” he cooed as he entered the bakery.

Robin gasped, affronted, “Don’t flatter yourself! I needed to make sure you wouldn’t feel obligated to blabber all our secrets, obviously.”

“Better than nothing, I suppose,” Garfield shrugged to himself, but quickly zipped his lips shut once someone came into view.

“The Couffaines are...adequate at best;” he quieted, “well, at least from what I could infer before I was so viciously torn away from my research!” was sniffed hotly.

Couffaines? Was that a code name?

“If I didn’t know any better Robin,” Jaime mused, “I’d think you were taking after Tim, especially with how many late nights you’ve had...”

A beat.

Garfield ignored the squabble taking place in his left ear, opting to chat with the kind looking, lady at the register.

“Hello! What can I do for-“ she looked up from tying her apron,

“Oh! You must be new here; I don’t recognize you,”

Garfield offered his hand, “Hah, yeah! I was just walkin’ around town. I’m Grant, by the way,’’ he silently praised himself for remembering his alias.

She shook it firmly, “Sabine.”

A warm smile was sent his way before she gestured to the variety of sweets on display. His mouth watered at the sight and contemplated his choices, no matter how hard it was.  ‘’What would you recommend?’’ he whispered, completely in awe.

Sabine paused to give him a once-over before lighting up. ‘’Well, you don’t strike me as a tart kind of guy so, how do you feel about chocolate?’’

‘’Love it.’’

‘’Great! My husband just put out some fresh Pain Au Chocolates before you came in!’’ Score. His luck hadn’t completely run out.

‘’That sounds fire! I’ll have that,’’ he exclaimed cheerfully.

She blinked at his wording, ‘’Pardon?’’

What? Did she not unders- Oh.‘’Sorry, American slang. It means cool!’’ he rushed out.

She mulled it over, ‘’Ah, okay. Well, coming right up!’’ Sabine opened the glass in search of the Pain Au Chocolates.

“Don’t ever compare me to that insufferable fool, -“

He snickered, “Your brother?”

Robin fumed, “-you complete and utter nincompoop!”

“Now, now, don’t use big boy words on me,” Jaime taunted.

“I’ll show you ‘big boy’ words-! “

Garfield faux scratched his ear in favor of switching off the comm as he watched Sabine bag the treats. He grinned in thanks once handed to him.

“If that’ll be all...?” She trailed off.

He wasn’t really paying any mind as he took a big whiff of the sweets. His thoughts floated over to a haven filled with a never-ending overflow of pastries. Ah, what’s stopping him from staying here forever? A pat on his shoulder, apparently.

“Hm?” Garfield found the petite baker leaning over the counter with a patient smile.

“Sorry, I totally zoned out! Did you say something?” he rubbed his neck bashfully.

She chuckled, “I asked if there’s anything else I could do for you, sweetie.”

If there anything else she could- Right! Yes, he needed to know where the hell he was staying at. Garfield fumbled for his phone, luckily for him he copied the address into his Notes app.

“Yeah actually! Well, not food wise but, I’m here in Paris for,” he blanched momentarily, “uh, an exchange program; and I have a like host family here, right?” he gestured to his voice; the American accent evident.

She nodded.

He continued, “And I don’t really uh, like, know exactly where I’m supposed to meet them. I was wondering if you by chance knew someone who lived on the Seine around here?” Garfield shoveled a croissant into his mouth.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Marinette was a lot of things.

To some she was the sweet bakers’ daughter, insanely witty and clever, granted a bit scatterbrained, but she was your trophy student by all means of the word; to others though, she was someone to be wary of. A classmate’s spew of lies crawling under their skins, itching to be taken into account. Every move watched meticulously, waiting with bated breath for a slip up, for anything to grasp on to.

In simpler terms, Marinette was over it. Over being unable to speak her truth; over being villainized, constantly put under a spotlight. There was already enough on her plate, one of its regulars accumulating to a steadily-rising designer. One of her biggest flexes, if she was being honest; because really, what fourteen year old could say they constructed glasses for the Jagged Stone? Surely not the average bunch.

Oh, and did she mention superheroine? Yeah, she’s a superheroine.

The whole gig was shoved at her face, three months shy of her thirteenth birthday; and by gig she meant a brief guide, a blindingly red polka-dotted suit, a questionable choice of weapon (seriously, a yo-yo?), and an ill-timed partner.

Nonetheless, she worked with what she got. It's kept her alive so far already, why complain now?

She rubbed her eyes with a stifled yawn, ‘’Radiant....Carefree....Dreamy…’’

Marinette slammed the snooze button at the sound of that god forsaken jingle. Christ, she needed to change her alarm. All it did was make her reminisce of her former crush on Adrien Agreste; top teen Parisian model, son of fashion mogul Gabriel Agreste, and current boyfriend of future Olympiad, Kagami Tsurugi. Alas, old habits die hard, and this one was going to crash and burn any time soon; Marinette was sure of it.

A groan sounded out as she flopped to the floor, skillfully ignoring the tinkling laughter coming from her bedside. Ah, who was she kidding? It’d take some sort of absolute miracle to get over him completely. She would end up forever lonely, pining over a taken man, indefinitely getting dropped from position as lead designer for Jagged, friendless, Akumatized, disowned by her parents-

“None of those things are true, and you know it!”

She snapped her gaze up to the floating embodiment of creation, Tikki. Had her friend really thought that, that look could get Marinette to take back her spiel? She looked like an angry kitten for crying out loud!

Her cheeks reddened as she got up and dusted herself off, “Did I say that out loud?”

Judging by the narrowing of the tiny god's eyes, she’d say yes, it was said out loud. Damn, she was not looking forward to a morning lecture about her declining self esteem and her tendency of speaking her mind. Before Tikki could get even a word in, the Just In Case™ alarm for bad mornings went off. She shot the kwami a rueful grin and scurried over to the counter.

“Radian-“ the clock was chucked out of the three story building. Marinette watched from her window as it plummeted to its demise, in a heap of cheap metal and wires. Lovely.

A red blur zoomed to the front of her face, making her go cross-eyed, ‘’Marinette!’’ Tikki frowned shakily, struggling not to smile at her antics. 

She shrugged and skipped over to her closet, in search for acceptable clothes,

‘’What? It was getting annoying! And besides, it’s not like it was worth that mu-!’’ They both froze at the pounding of the trap door.

Ugh, couldn’t they wait to bother her later?

‘‘You better get out of there soon, young lady! I don’t want another call from your school added to the list,’‘ Marinette was going to absolutely combust. It sucked enough that barely any of her ‘‘friends’’ stuck around, but Tom and Sabine? Really? Believing some complete stranger over her? It must be the lack of familial relation that makes it sting a bit less. It must.

She groaned tiredly, ‘’Yes, Sabine.’’

Once the descending pattering of her footsteps quieted, Tikki raced over to latch onto Marinette’s cheek. Her bluebell orbs peered up at her, filled with sympathy for her holder. She shook her head at the silent offer to talk; there’s no time for a pity party. 

The kwami sighed sadly, before pecking her cheek and floating over to rest on her shoulder. Marinette plastered on an encouraging smile, ‘‘C’mon Tikks’, help me pick out and outfit for today! You know how indecisive I can be,”

After some thinking, they’ve come to the mutual decision of something completely out of Marinette’s alley. Instead of her usual pink capris, floral shirt, blazer, flats, and pigtails; she sported a plaid pleated skirt, a tucked in Queen Bee graphic tee, black two-inch heart buckled platform Mary Janes, and spacebuns. Who knew her wardrobe from Clara Nightingale’s on-set music video would come to use? 

She ogled her reflection with a satisfied smirk, yeah, she was hot. 

‘’Holy shit, Tikki, if I was still into Adrien,’’ she whistled, ‘’he’d drop to the floor as soon as he saw this; and that’s coming from me!’’ 

The kwami shook her head good naturedly, ‘’I’m glad you think so. I really like confident Marinette!’’ she nudged her shoulder, ‘’Although, I hope you aren’t doing this for your classmates’ approval...’’ 

She directed her gaze at Tikki; an other person’s approval? Why would she do something for another person’s approv- Oh. She actually wasn’t that far off. 

‘‘Pssh. No, I would never! This is all me baby! The awesome, cool, and Pinterest board version, I mean,’‘ Marinette gave her little friend finger-guns and grabbed her purse. Enough about her, they needed to get to school before she was late again. 

‘‘Get in Tikks’, if we wait any longer I’ll be,’‘ she checked the time on her phone, ‘‘like five minutes late to homeroom!’‘ 

She flitted into the bag as Marinette settled it onto her side. With one last look-over, she was off. 

To say she struggled down the stairs was a complete and utter understatement. She almost died, multiple times. Maybe the platform shoes were a bad idea, a very, very, very bad idea. Marinette clutched onto the railing with an inhumane grip that could rival Alya’s on her phone; and that was telling you something. 

Once she made it passed the death trap, or rather simply a few steps, she grabbed an espresso and a handful of cookies; the former being for her, and the latter for Tikki. She gave a fleeting wave to Sabine and Tom, not that they gave any mind. 

She pulled out her phone, 8:26, she could work with that. Her phone buzzed with a text notification. 

 (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ 𝖈𝖍����𝖔𝖊 𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖇��𝖙𝖈𝖍 ♥          ɴᴏᴡ

where the fuck are you

Marinette snorted and slid the cookies into her purse. She unlocked the screen and tapped the message icon.

{𝟖:𝟐𝟕}  .•°¤*(¯`★´¯)*¤°   🎀  𝓃𝑒𝓉𝓉𝒾𝑒  🎀   °¤*)¯´★`¯(*¤°•.    

wouldnt you like to know weather boy

.

.

.

{𝟖:𝟐𝟪} (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ 𝖈𝖍𝖑𝖔𝖊 𝖇𝖔𝖚𝖇𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍 ♥

wow ur so funny im literally laughing so hard rn 😐

.

.

{𝟖:𝟐8}   .•°¤*(¯`★´¯)*¤°   🎀  𝓃𝑒𝓉𝓉𝒾𝑒  🎀   °¤*)¯´★`¯(*¤°•.  

thank you, thank you, im here all night 🖤

.

 Marinette looked both ways before crossing the intersection, Dupont just about a block away. She chugged her now-cold coffee and tossed it in the recycling bin, ‘’Score! And the crowd goes wil-!’’ the atmosphere suddenly stilted.

‘‘Dupain-Cheng,’‘ she swiveled around, and was met with the putrid swamp green slits shes grown to despise. 

A snarl rolled off her tongue, ‘’Rossi.’’ 

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omg guys so hi. im doing this. im actually doing the thing i said i would do here  cuz im a bad bitch. 3k words i think. sorry for any mistakes i literally wrote this while watching pbs kids LMAOOOASODFWOEB @beautiful-disasters-sunshine idk if u still wanna be tagged when i do this kinda stuff but pm me if u dont <3

[fabrilyshop]

My Favorite Player Calls Me Mom Soccer American Flag Veteran Independence Day T Shirt

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Janet know one immediately over a number of project element of is my song made setting is my name todayand she so I was no evidence of some ICs charming like it was youand I imagine five years from now so 5G is so self evident job Devereaux will in person not dropping out of lipoma cryingand Bob is is no remedy decided no one to use say like that I to an easier to my music sometimes I think she that the moment as he was right all was sent out a lot this child is not a publishing company doesn’t count as a charity you need in California

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FREEDOM IS ESSENTIALLY LIKE IT SEEMED LIKE THE DISCUSSION INITIALLY WAS WHAT HAPPENS TO JOHNand IS THERE MORE THAN YOU ATTENTION TO THIS ANSWER IS SO VERY TRUE TO HIS CHARACTER BUT AGAIN LIKE HOW DALLAS PEOPLE GET THERE WHAT WAS THE UNDERSTANDING WHEN THE TEAM WHAT SAFETY THEY THINK THEY WOULD HAVE HOW DID EVERYBODY JUST ACCEPT INSTANTLY THAT WE WERE GOING FROM IN ESSENCE DOLING OUT PUNISHMENT FOR TWO TRAINERS WERE NOT DEPENDING ON YOUR POINT OF VIEW IN THAT MOMENT TO WHERE WE WOUND UP IN THE SPAN OF ALWAYS HAVING I IT WAS JUST A My Favorite Player Calls Me Mom Soccer American Flag Veteran Independence Day T Shirt LITTLE CONFUSING IN THE MOMENT IS WHAT IS ONE OF THE UNSULLIED WANT TO DO HERE I JUST GOT A HOLD KINGS LANDING UNTIL THEY ARE SAID MY GREAT WHILE BEING LIKE OKAY LIKE INTERIOR IN IS NOT ONLY ARGUING FOR JOHN’S FREEDOM OF LIFE BUT THEN IS GOING TO NAME THE KING AND LIKE COOL OKAY ARE YOU WITH THIS UNTIL THE VERY END GRAMMAR ARGUING IS JUST AS STRANGE AS GREAT OR HAVING ANY SAY IN THE FIRST PLACE I GUESS SURE IT’S A SUDDEN SHOCKINGLY LARGE ARMY I KNOW HOW YOU DISTRESSINGLYand JUST HUNG THOUSAND DOLLARS OF UNSULLIEDand TRACKING AGAIN BUT WHY WAS ANYBODY CONTENT TO LET THEM TAKE CONTROL FOR EVEN A MOMENT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND HOW ANY OF THAT HAPPENS I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT THE PRETENSE WAS FOR SIGNS ON OTHERSand OF COURSE THE FACT THAT JOHNand HIS LIFE IS PRESENT WHEN ALIGNING CARE WHY DID SHE GO SHE’S ON THE RECORD IS NOT I DON’T WANT MY FAMILY DOWN THERE I DON’T WANT TO GO DOWN THERE SHE SENT BREANNE TO THE DRAGONPAD AS AN ENVOY IN SEASON SEVEN ALL OF THEM ARE THERE THAT’S FINE BUT HOW DID THEY GET THERE WIDENING OF THE STRESS IS WHAT ARE THEY AFTER SAM IS SITTING THERE FOR ME AS A REPRESENTATIVE OF WHAT HELEN THE REACH IS THE POPULATION JUST THERE’S NOBODY IN THE REGION IS A GRANNY START 30 YOU THAT WAS A WILDS SO THE UNSULLIED OR BASICALLY OFFERED THE OFFERED THE ABILITY TO SETTLE THE REACH BECAUSE NO ONE IS THERE ANY MORE RIGHT LEADING TO THE CONCLUSION THAT SO THE LAST ARMY JUST LIKE A MINUTE A GENOCIDE TO THE REACH LIKE THAT IT WAS GREAT WAS A PRETTY INTERESTING WITHOUT A LOT OF I WAS OBVIOUSLY THE TOTAL SHIFT IN THE EPISODE USER TO GET THE COMPRESSION TO GET THE COMPRESSION OF EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED WHILE TERRENCE BEEN IN PRISON HE COMES OUT HE NEGOTIATES BRANDS ELECTION ESSENTIALLY WHILE I GUESS WE TALKED A LITTLE BIT ABOUT THAT BEFORE BUT ASTONISHING STUFF CAN INTERVIEW MAKE THE CASE FOR BRANDIS KING NOT AS I PREDICTED IT BUT THIS IS WHY IT SAID IT MAKES SENSE BECAUSE HE WILL BE A BECAUSE OF HIS RESPONSIBILITIES AS THREE ARE DRIVEN WHICH I WOULD ADD DON’T WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YOU YEAH BRAND WILL BE OFTEN INDISPOSED AS LEADER OF WESTERN THEREFORE PEOPLE LIKE TERRYand WHO LOVED BEING CLOSE TO POWER HIS WHOLE LIFE GET TOand WILL WE ACTUALLY MINISTERED TO EFFECTIVELY ADMINISTER THE ROUND WHICH IS LIKE NAME SO THAT’S I WOULD ARGUE IT THIS WAY GRANT OFFERS THE OPPORTUNITY FOR AMBITIOUS POWER HUNGRY PEOPLE TO RULE IN THE NAME OF A WEEK KING IS DIRECTLY HOW TO SEE THE SERIES BRAND THING I’M TO GO FIND A DRAGON YOU GUYS HANDLE RIGHT NOW BROTHELS FIXING SHIPS BUILDING CLEAN WATER ALL THAT STUFF ANSWER YOUR QUESTION IS NO THERE’S NOT A WAY TO MAKE IT MAKE SENSE AT LEAST NOT THIS VERSION IN THIS TIMELINE OF THE SHOW I THINK THEY RAN BOOK SHOW BRAND FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE PROBABLY HAS THE BIGGEST CASTLE NOW BUT I FEEL THAT THE CHARACTER BOOK BRAND IS A BOOK BRAND ENDING UP IN SUCH A POSITION OF LEADERSHIPand I THINK I WENT OVERand FILLING DREAM CATCHERS AT A CROWD A LOT A LOT OF FACTORS AT PLAY HERE LIKE OKAY WHAT ARE YOU KILLED THE NIGHT KING MY DAD I DAD ASKED ME I’VE BEEN CALLING IT SINCE EPISODE ONE BECAUSE I THINK FOR LIKE Mr YOU ARE THAT SATAN IS THE BRAND IN VEGAS ON FAVORITE HEADING INTO THE SEASON WHICH WAS DISTRESSING BUT TO SAY THAT RAYand ARI OUT PARTS OF THE CHARACTERS WHO BEST REPRESENT ONE OF THE KEY IDEAS OF THE STORY WHICH WE HEAR TEARY INVOICE IN SEASON ONEand RESPOND MY HEART FOR COUPLES PASTORSand BROKEN THINGS FOR THE PEOPLEand JOHN JOHNSON OF COURSE PEOPLE DIDN’T NECESSARILY HAVE A PLACE IN THE WORLDand YOU COUPLE THAT IDEA WITH SOMETHING LIKE THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN LEWINand BRAND ABOUT HOW YOU KNOW EVERY WHICH CHILD WOULD WANT TO BELIEVE THAT THEY WERE SPECIALand HOW BRAND REALLY WANTSand ALLOWED US AS PEOPLE CONSUMING THE STORY TO THINK I JUST A REGULAR PERSON IN THE WORLD CAN DO SOMETHING INCREDIBLE IS A VERY QUINTESSENTIAL FANCY START IS A CHARACTER SIGN THAT SAYS HOW WHAT WE KNOW ABOUT SHOW THERE IS ONE THING THAT WE KNOW DEFINITIVELY WHICH IS THAT HE’S BASICALLY NOT A PERSON ANYand ALL HE SAYS I’M NOT REALLY MEANING MY FRIEND START NOT SOMEBODY WHO NOT SOMEBODY WHO THINKS HE’S GONNA BE LORD OF WANTS TO BE OR SHOULD BE OF WINTER FELL TO THE JUMP FROM THAT IN THE SPAN OF MERE EPISODES TO WERE AT THE PROTECTOR OF THE REALM IS CONFOUNDING TO GO ONE STEP FURTHER I’M REALLY NOT TRYING TO GET TO NITPICKY HERE BY SINCE HE’S REALLY GO TO RESPONSE FOR ANY PIECE OF DIALOGUE IS THIS IS THE WAY IT WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE REMINDED EXACTLY WHAT YOU ARE ALWAYS GOING TO THAT’S A GREAT POINT STUFF IS LIKE THE SENATORand WHAT DOES HE SAY I’M TO GO FIND THIS DRAGON PRESUMABLY THROUGH HIS WORKING POWERS BECAUSE HE’S PROBABLY KNOCKING PHYSICALLY TRACK IT DOWN WHAT WHAT WAS THE COST OF HIM TAKING HIS HE ALSO SAYS WHEN THEY ELECT HIM OF COURSE I KNEW THAT I HAVE ALWAYS THIS IS WHY I KEEP MY EPISODES SO MEN LIKE YOU REALLY NEED TO LEADING UP TO LIKE SO RIGHT THIS IS THE TEACHERand SENT BREANNE THE CHARACTER THE COURTand MAKE SENSE THE BRAND ON THE SHOW THAT WE HAVE IT JUST DOESN’T TRACKand IT IS A MINUTE IT DOES MAKE WE KNOW A LOT MORE TIMEand FOR THE TIME THE HABITAT CHARACTER TO HAVE GONE DIFFERENTLY I THINK THE MOMENTS WHERE WE START SAY OH MY GOD OR ARE THEY LEARNING TORAH BRANDING HERE IS TWOFOLD IT WAS ONE THE VEGAS ODDS WHICH WERE JUST WE HAD TO THE POINT TO THE FACT THAT WE KEPT GETTING CONVERSATIONS ABOUT JOHNand THE IDEAL ROLE OF BEING ONE WHO DOESN’T WANT JUXTAPOSED AGAINST BRANDSand I DON’T REALLY WANT LIKE THAT WAS DELIBERATEand IT WAS INSPECTING THE POWERS IS ANOTHER POINT WHICH IS AS WELL AS GUIDELINES WERE INand SCROLL TO GET BACK TO THE EPISODE SCENE BY SCENE IS ONLY A COUPLE MORE SEEN IN THE MOSTLY CHARACTER GOES I WANT TO NOW GET GET TO THIS PART WE TALK A LOT ABOUT CHOICEand DESTINY THEY TALK A LOT A DUSTY IN THIS EPISODEand YET DESPITE THE AMOUNT OF TIME SPENT ON THAT TO YOU AS A CONSUMER OF THE SHOW FIND YOURSELF IN A POSITION TO BE ABLE TO RECONCILE WHERE THEY LANDED IN A SHOW THAT IS OFTEN POSITIONED AS BEING ABOUT CHOICEand FINALLY BELIEVING IN YOUR OWN DESTINY MOST OF THE CHARACTERSand THE ONE IS THAT OFF SEASON WRITING IS ABOUT A GENUINE STATUS OF THE CHARACTERS HAS IS AS NICE AS I THE CHARACTERS WHO HAD THE COURAGE TO STAND UPand TRY TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT EVEN IF IT’S HARD IDEA THAT DOING SOMETHING RIGHT IF IT’S REALLY REALLY HARD IN OTHER WORDSand PLAYING OTHER PEOPLE ARE ASKED ON THE PERSON IS IN CHARGE OF THEM EVERYTHING LAKE OR SUPPORTS TO MAKES IT SEEM AT LEAST THAT IT’S ALL JUST A ROADMAP’S LIFE HAS BEEN LAID OUT FOR YOU. IT WAS A HELL RAISER PINHEAD WAS IN EDITING BECAUSE HE THOUGHT ABOUT AS MULTIPLE HELL RAISERS RIGHT LIKE A SET OF A CENOBITE SO THEY ARE YET A GREAT ANTAGONIST IN THE HELL RAISER MOVE RIGHT NOW TO KNOW I REALLY WATCHED THEM THERE ALL THE CRAZY PINHEAD IN MY SHIT LIKE THERE IS LIKELY BUT RATHER ONE THE MOVIE BOOK THAT IS A GREAT COOK OF ALL US TOOK THE LAST THAT SHOWS MIKE YOU AND SWORD OVER MY BALLS ARE CURRENTLY KNOWN TO ALL ANNOUNCEMENTS IN YOUR POKÉMON GOAT STAFF IS OKAY VERY I KNOW YOU’RE BORN TO MOTHERS VESSEL WILL RETURN THEM TO SPANK HER KNOW IS SPANK IN PEOPLE’S MOM YEAH PLAY PC VERSION YOU WILL BE A PLAYER NEWNESS FROM SEATTLE FELT BAD I FELT THAT WHEN JOE THREATENED TO DO SEX WITH WITH THE WARRANT IS TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR BUT NOW AT STARBUCKS TO DO SEX PEOPLES MOM’S YEAH IT’S ABOUT PEOPLE WANTING SHAME ANYONE BILLION EUROS A I WANT TO HEAR WHERE THESE PEOPLE CALL HIS BLUFF BE LIKE FINE HAVE SGT. 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Project Runway Hanging by a Thread

(Originally Posted in 2018)

The future of Project Runway is in doubt. Back in November, after the Weinstein scandal broke, A&E rescinded their contracts for Project Runway, including a separate contract for a movie, and sued the company for breach of contract alleging that Harvey used the show as a way to gain access to young models (horrifying if true.) Because of the Weinstein Group going into bankruptcy and the lawsuit, the rights and licenses of Project Runway and all the spin offs are for sale. (A&E and another company both want to buy them.)

I have little doubt that Project Runway will go on in some form in the future. It’s a well-liked program with several major celebrities attached. It has been imitated but no other fashion show (24 Hour Catwalk, Launch My Line, The Fashion Show, Fashion Star and so on) has been able to duplicate its success.

There are two names that we can thank for Project Runway’s success, Tim Gunn and Heidi Klum.

I’ve been working on my latest fashion project (an expanded collection of my Little Red Riding Hood and Big Bad wolf club dresses) and the last day or two have had Bravo’s answer to Project Runway moving to Lifetime back in 2008 on YouTube in the background, The Fashion Show. And it wasn’t pretty.

From my list you can see that I’ve watched a lot of fashion competitions. All of them have been cancelled but Project Runway. Not that they didn’t have some good ideas to bring to the table competition wise. Most of them do not have the right mix of personalities of the hosts and mentors and judges to create a sympathetic viewing audience. Even the Project Runway spin offs have a difficult time coming up with a good combination of judges and a sympathetic mentor. Alyssa tries, she really does, but she’s still not as successful as Heidi.

Tim Gunn’s success hinges on his beautiful attitude that he wants everyone on the show to succeed. No other mentor I’ve seen can manage his style of honest sympathy and gentle loving critique. Tim Gunn cares for every contestant and when they aren’t doing their best, it upsets him because he wants them to push and grow and become better designers (and better people.) He also gives honest and helpful feedback that people even in their living rooms can understand because it’s not laced with industry terms or popular culture references. And he can do this because he listens. He tells the designers to talk to him and then he stands there and listens. (And his pose while he does this is very important because he’s thinking as he is listening.) Then, once the designer is finished, he gives feedback.

It was very telling to me that in the first season of the Fashion Show when Isaac Mizrahi and Kelly Rowland were being both mentor and judge (don’t do this darlings) that they listened and then didn’t give critique. Instead, they’d go and talk about it to each other out of ear shot of the designers and then wonder why the designs were so wrong and then have to say the same things again to the designer that they’d said to each other on the stage. It was like watching school girl’s gossip instead of watching a show about developing talent!

Many of the mentors that I see brought onto these fashion shows are brought on because of their connection to some part of the shows sponsorship or producing team with little thought or care about how these mentors come across on the screen. Production spends so much time screening the candidates for the show and then don’t take the time it feels to screen test or even test run the mentor they’ve selected. It’s the mentor that’s going to be there season after season and the candidates are always changing, so more care should be taken in selecting mentors and not less!

The host is just as important as the mentor. Heidi Klum can be controversial because she supposedly plays favorites, she shows too much leg and some still aren’t sure why she has any authority on fashion. But Heidi Klum manages to pull off that cheerful girl next door type of vibe. You could imagine living next door to Heidi Klum. She’s friendly. She fits in with her bubbly smile and her blonde hair and tanned skin. She’s that mother from your PTA. Americans like this. At the same time, being that she’s originally from Germany, she has a hint of “otherness” about her that also appeals to people. The expert is a stranger with a briefcase syndrome or in this case a German accent. She’s also very natural in front of a camera and can make canned phrases sound natural.

This is much harder than it sounds. Alyssa still has trouble with the cadence of Project Runway signature catch phrases. In the second season of the Fashion Show, they changed out Kelly Rowland for Iman and the poor woman sounded like a robot. (They also changed all the catch phrases and that didn’t help. You have to maintain brand.) Being in front of the camera for so many hours a day when things aren’t scripted for you is difficult!

So, soon there will be new producers and owners running this big franchise of Project Runway that (let’s be honest) is primarily geared to American audiences because it features American fashion. I know what I want to see.

More Tim Gunn and not less.

Forget drama in the sewing room. Back to basics, design and critique and mentoring sessions with Tim. And if they can’t get Tim to come in and mentor All Stars or Junior, then he honestly needs to be the major voice in choosing the next mentors that reflect his style that is the Project Runway brand. No more cold dead fish mentors. Ugh. I think the closest was Henry Roth of the first season of Australia. He had energy.

Speaking of drama in the sewing room. More talent. Less personality casting. I’m talking casting people like the twins from the latest season. (Serial reality show celebs should be a major no no.) Or people that only work in recycled materials. Or people that are so abrasive and egotistical that all they do is cause drama because no one wants to work with them and they don’t want to work with anyone else. Project Runway has never had a problem about diversity, thank goodness. They have a problem with bringing in designers of aesthetics that are so niche and so out of the box that they can’t connect to the judges or to the American audience.

Oh, and enough menswear designers already. Please, do a Project Runway: Menswear if you want to showcase menswear designers.

Models of all shapes and sizes. The last regular season of Project Runway did this as an experiment and it was a raging success. So much so, that the season of All Stars that aired right after it got criticized for not doing the same thing (even though the two shows had been taped at the same time. People forget this.) It’s time for more diversity and better body images presented on the runway and in fashion magazines and Project Runway has a national audience to push this change into the magazines. This is a huge step forward and may save us the embarrassing and cringe worthy episodes where designers don’t know what breasts are and say things like “Models are supposed to be walking hangars without curves to mess up the line of the clothes.”

Look, a model going down the runway is a standard size six. I’m a standard size four (six in outerwear) and that means I wear smalls, extra-smalls and size zeros in vanity sizing. This doesn’t expressly make me happy! Vanity sizing hurts people of all sizes, okay. If we can push that thin is best off the runway, maybe we can push the vanity sizing out of our stores and when I go in a size four will be a size four will be a size four everywhere.

More time.

The designers need more time to sew their designs. Period. Project Runway is becoming instead Project Pretty Dress. Things such as pants, jackets and shirts take time to drape, draft and sew properly. So instead of good two or three piece outfits, we get evening gown followed by a cocktail dress followed by an evening gown ad nausea.

Example, last season of All Stars (newbies versus vets) they did a distressing challenge. Meaning, they were to make new fabrics look like they’ve been through hell. And it was paired with the theme of Post-Apocalyptic Fashion, meaning Mad Max and waste landers. Of course, they were only given one day in the workroom to accomplish their feats of both making it look like it was after the end of the world and to make the fabric look torn, burnt or shredding or worn in some manner. (They were also to come up with a story. I laughed hysterically over some of them, a queen, really?)

It was a parade of evening gowns.

Look, the last thing you’re going to wear after the world has been devastated by a climate changing event is an evening gown. Now, some of these stories are “She was escaping from said climate changing event,” but still! (That’s not exactly what the brief called for either by the way. Post. Post. After! Not during!) Loot some trousers and find some running shoes! Protect your skin!

It made you wonder if they’d ever seen Mad Max. I wasn’t expecting leather and studs because that has been done to death. I was hoping for some thought about protecting my soft squishy parts and being pretty! (I like my soft squishy parts and I like being pretty.)

More time is especially important now that the judges are getting up close and personal with the designs. These designers are now being critiqued on their sewing skills as well as their design skills. If they’re going to do this, then give the designers the respect they deserve and give them the time to beautifully finish their garments. Those “It feels so unresolved” comments might go down too, if they have more time to actually finish their designs.

Less Sponsors.

The dreaded sponsors challenge. Does anyone remember the season where they were sponsored by a water company and ended up going “glamping?” Or the one where there was the burger company and they had to remake some really bad suits and got free endless fries? (That might have been the same season.) Look, doing Heidi’s stuff is bad enough especially since she keeps changing what she’s doing. But these companies that have nothing to do with fashion, err, Candy Crush, coming in and throwing money to get their name in an episode is ridiculous. I am even leery about the movie challenges. Just stop.

You know the great challenges are the challenges set by people like Isaac Mizrahi. I loved his color challenge because he was so careful in his selections. (He’s come a long way since The Fashion Show.) I love Nina Garcia challenges. Then there are the basic challenges, the unconventional challenge, the avante garde challenge, the accessory wall sponsor challenge, and the hair and makeup challenge. (Though better ones for those need to be found.)

Things like the black light challenges or the rainway that made the designers think about fashion in a new way. Those were the great challenges. I even liked the wind runway. Otherwise, get back to the basics of fashion. The JCPenny challenge with the menswear fabrics was great because it forced them to think upper moderate budget rather than ready to wear. Give them fashion categories, give them budget categories more than just a budget at Mood. Make them prove they know about fashion more than “I want to make clothes.” Yeah, can you make clothes for the everyday woman in their price budget or just pretty red carpet dresses? (Most can only do the latter.)

More fashion industry judges.

Enough celebrities. Please. Bring in buyers from Macy’s and Bergdorf’s and Saks, bring in magazine editors. I don’t know and I don’t care what a certain actress thinks about fashion because they’re most likely paying lots of money to be styled by someone who does know about fashion. So, I’d rather hear from their stylist. This is what I liked about Fashion Star. In Fashion Star, the designers presented to buyers and the buyers would right then bid on if they’d actually buy that item to stock in their store or not. Terron Schaefer of Saks was such a lovely person, bring in him. Bring in big name designers. Bring back Michael Kors for at least one episode a season by hook or by crook. Give the American Public people who are authorities in fashion.

(And keep Kelly Osbourne in the Juniors judges because I love how supportive she is to these young people. She is the exception to this rule.)

More team challenges.

Okay, the designers hate these. I think they’re good for them. That’s one thing about the Fashion Show that I really appreciated was the fact that the designers were at first separated into two fashion houses to create collections instead of individual pieces. This is how the real fashion industry works and nothing creates drama faster than a team challenge. (This is like makeover episodes on Top Model. The designers know they are coming but still cry all the same!)

If they do team challenges, they can create runway shows and do mood boards and have to present these to Tim to get approval and really show their vision as a team rather than the travesty that a lot of team challenges end up being. Another thing I liked about the Fashion Show is that they had to make and present mood boards. Mood boards are incredibly important in giving direction!

More Mood and Mini-Mood.

Because of sponsorships increasing in the show, the time spent at Mood has been less and less. And I understand that Mood isn’t expressly happy with the show either, because the entire store has to be shut down in order for the show to tape there and this loses them revenue in buyers. At this point, the viewing audience is used to and wants to see the designers using ‘real fabrics’ in order to make their garments. If there are less sponsors for “unconventional” challenges, then there would be more challenges where the designers need to go to Mood.

But Mood has provided Mini-Mood before. Mini-Mood was a room in the set where Mood put a lot of fabric for the designers to choose from. This way the designers were a) limited in choice but b) still got to use ‘real fabrics.’ And let’s face it, the designers need to be limited because there was almost an entire season of neoprene one year. (No neoprene in Mini Mood. No. Bad. Smack hands.) Or, if it is easier on Mood, then maybe provide Project Runway with access to their warehouse instead?

Or, they can do like the JCPenny challenge and have the sponsors provide the fabrics. This will once again ground the show in reality because there are processes where the designers choose from a selection of fabrics from a manufacturer to use for their products. It may also cut down on the “you only work in chiffon, choose something else” or just the random bad fabric choices or people being chewed out in Mood for picking fur and not realizing the show is “cruelty free.” (But we still use leather. Sure.)

Lastly, less scripting of the entire season.

People know the reality show tricks by now and they aren’t buying them anymore. If they show a designer calling their family or opening up, yep, that designer is about to go. Producers keep on bad designers for their dramatic personalities has to stop. Designers that repeat and repeat the same design need to be pulled aside and be told “Change or go home” much sooner than they are. Touting a win for “plus size” fashion feels hollow when the line didn’t have the creativity of the others (and next to no plus sized woman would wear it. The models looked uncomfortable.)

Authenticity is important. Project Runway can be good without having accusations of cheating or big fights in the workroom or bringing in styles that don’t mesh with the judges. Talent. Design. Good attitudes. Take a cue from Project Runway Junior and keep those positive vibes going even in the adult versions of the show.

And more group hugs from Tim. Because everyone needs hugs.