#what do you do if you're deeply obsessed with nagito komaeda

[korekiyo-seesawemporium]

Morning Seesaw!

I love this. Everything about this image is perfect. The perfect seesaw made of only popsicle sticks, cardboard, and seemingly eyeglass cleaner wipe packaging? The fact that it's for little Lego men? The man having a mental breakdown right next to it as his family is much happier than he is? This is great.

100/2

[k-popanimeotomeandyanderes]

Yandere!Nagito x ftm!reader

Content: closeted reader (only Nagito knows), brief mentions of dysphoria, and also really self-indulgent

1.2k words

You had come to a realization about your gender a few years ago, but you kept it hidden from everyone around you. It's not that you thought they wouldn't be supportive. Some of your friends were trans too, but you just didn't know how to come out yet. As far as you knew, no one knew you were a man, so it was surprising when you started getting love notes that referred to you as things like “handsome” or “pretty boy.” You didn't mind, of course, far from it, but they couldn't have been meant for you… could they? How would anyone know to call you those things? You couldn't help but stress about it. Maybe you'd accidentally outed yourself, or someone was making fun of you.

You started out ignoring it, but the love letters got more frequent and more concerning. What started out as some nice compliments and a bit of gay desperation had turned into the mystery author degrading himself and obsessing over you. You started getting gifts too, your favorite flowers or items you'd been eying. The situation had reached a point where you had to do something, so you wrote a note back.

Since you had no idea who this man was or how to reach him, you decided to just leave the letter in your house, since he was probably breaking in anyway. The sealed letter to your maybe stalker sat on your dresser for just long enough to make you question all your decisions. You were probably just being paranoid. No one would ever break in to take a letter. Sometimes paranoia pays off, though, because the next time you checked, the letter was gone and replaced with a return letter from your stalker.

You were understandably terrified to read this new letter. Not only were the “normal” love letters concerning enough, but you'd actually confronted this guy about his actions and practically demanded to know who he was and why he knew you were trans. Despite your fear, you opened the letter and began to read.

“My dear (preferred name),

I'm unbelievably flattered to receive your attention. All of my love for you was given without the expectation of reciprocation, but now that I know you feel the same, I'm happier than I could ever imagine. Trash like me may not deserve your shining hope, but I can't stop myself from being selfish and choosing you regardless. As for who I am, I am Nagito Komaeda, the ultimate lucky student. Although my talent and general existence are both completely worthless, I do have one skill, which is observing you. You call me your “stalker,” which I can't deny. You're the perfect man, a beacon of hope for all of us peasants. I can't help but be attracted to everything you do. I adore every part of you. I doubt you are surprised that I learned such details about you, like your gender, from my observations. Fear not, darling. I accept you no matter what and you have always been a man in my eyes, even if that is not what you see in the mirror or if your negative thoughts tell you otherwise.

I understand that this situation may be overwhelming and that I have no right to ask anything of you. I am selfish. I can't keep away from you. I need to have you. I want you to be my boyfriend and to love me just as deeply as I love you. I know someone like me doesn't deserve your love or your kindness, but I need you. I need you so badly. I need your everything. If you even consider a relationship at all, please let me know. I would do anything for you, my beloved.

With love,

Nagito”

How were you supposed to feel about any of this? This man had stalked you and any positive feelings you had for him were probably just because he was the only one in your life who saw you as a man. Despite that, the idea of someone wanting you so much was enticing. He probably had some issues, but… you could totally fix him. Or not. Maybe not fixing him would be better anyway. You'd never had a boyfriend who truly saw you for who you were before, so why not give this a shot? You pushed aside all the red flags and started to draft a return letter.

A week and two letters later, you finally get the chance to meet your new boyfriend, Nagito Komaeda. You decided to meet in a public setting. It felt too weird for your first date to just be in your house. Dwelling on the whole stalking and breaking in thing wasn't very pleasant. You weren't sure what to look for. You'd never seen this man before in your life. You desperately hoped he wasn't a creepy old man or extremely hideous. Were those shallow things to be thinking of while meeting your new stalker boyfriend for the first time? Maybe. The next moment you look up, hoping to find a distraction, you see a man standing disturbingly close to you. He hadn't said anything, but he was definitely staring.

“You're quite close,” You whisper under your breath, almost hoping he won't hear.

“I'm so sorry, darling. I didn't mean to startle you. I'm just too used to avoiding your attention. Sorry. Trash like me shouldn't be—” You cut him off.

“It's fine, don't worry about it. So… I'm guessing you're Nagito.” You don't have much to talk about with him. He spends most of the rest of your date rambling about how perfect you are or how awful he is. He is pretty nice, at least. His white hair and sickly pale skin make him sort of attractive in a pathetic wet cat way as well. He's almost your type. There's a natural lull in your conversation. Nagito hesitates for a moment.

“(Preferred name)... are you uncomfortable?” He asks softly.

“No, not really. It's just new to me to be with a man as a man, I guess among… other things about our relationship.”

“But, you are interested in men, aren't you?” You shift a bit in your seat before answering. “Yeah. It's just my gender.”

“You've never been with someone who knew you're trans then? No gay dates before?” He seemed genuinely curious as he asked.

“Nope. Not a single gay date. Well, definitely none that knew it was gay, I guess? Maybe some secretly gay stuff?” You were basically rambling like Nagito had been before.

“I see. No wonder you're so nervous. Don't be. It's okay to be gay.” Did he really think that was the main issue? It was one small issue. Sure, being trans wasn't something you'd been this open about before, but dating your stalker was way worse than being a little homosexual.

“We can go at your pace,” Nagito adds. It's sweet that he cares about that even though he's totally violated plenty of boundaries already.

“Thanks for that, and thanks for being my first gay boyfriend.” You can't help smiling. Your date–your boyfriend—might be awkward and a criminal who broke into your house repeatedly, but he wasn't so bad. He was trying.