#what a fuckin ship 👌🏻

[barkilphedros-hat]

Underrated bits in OFMD that have me HOWLING:

• Stede calling it a “state of the art en-suite” while Roach is sat soaping himself and it looks like Wee John is just taking a shit??

• Nigel Badminton’s ghost stood on rocks in the background violently flipping Stede the bird while Stede’s trying to give a pep-talk to the crew.

• (Honestly just Rory Kinnear doing whatever the fuck. He was so ✨deranged✨ as the Badminton twins god bless.)

• “He’s got crazy eyes! I’m sorry but you do.” *cue shot of Stede looking vaguely constipated*

• “These are me Summer teeth. Some are teeth. Some ain’t.” A+ pun Buttons thank you 👏👌🏻

• Jim’s flailing about after Spanish Jackie hears the ruckus and leaves. Them trying to hold their beard on just kills me

• Lucius’ “FUCK THE BEACH” followed by the stroppiest gay flounce I’ve ever seen.

• Izzy’s ‘jealous ex’ ranting to Spanish Jackie. Look at her face you KNOW she was fucking sick of hearing it at that point

• “LUCIUS! WE HAVE A ✨FUCKERY✨ ON OUR HAAAAAANDS!”

• The whole “distraction” sequence between Stede and Blackbeard’s crew, especially Izzy just being unimpressed™️

• Ed’s teary “fuckin’ hell Jack!” after Jack whipped him in the balls.

• “What does a Viceroy do?” “Whatever the fuck he wants, babe.”

• Frenchie somehow able to embroider a cat licking it’s paw onto a flag but also managing to nail his own sleeve to the deck

• Ivan being offended that Roach threw a perfectly good sandwich at Izzy’s head

• Izzy being left holding the model ship after Ed makes his unsettling “I haven’t died yet” speech like “yeah because that makes sense.”

• Gabriel asking Stede to palpitate his wife and Ed’s bewildered “well that was fast!”

• Stede sounding so ~betrayed~ when Ed admits he fucked up his cutlery usage. Years of academy training! Wasted!

• “Izzy’s Revenge sounds like an intestinal problem.”

• Buttons’ trying to whittle a harpsichord

• Buttons in general

• “That’s it Livy, give him the ol’ FUCK-EYE!”

• Ed’s little dramatic spin and James Bond style “Jeff. From Accounting.”

• Wee John’s annoyed “yeah we all heard you” in regards to Lucius and Black Pete fucking in the galley. My brother in Christ you could have left the room-

• Ed calling Izzy “dickfuck” when he points out the date is wrong

• Listen it’s a sweet scene: but the fact Ed’s “NEXT ONE GOES THROUGH YOUR FUCKING EYEBALL!” was a part of Stede’s Big Romantic Memory Montage ~sends~ me

• Frenchie calling Izzy a “cheeky bitch” after he punches Stede in the duel

• Every fucking thing that comes out of the Swede’s mouth.