#well. achilles called patroclus 'pat' in this game so they are more like the store brought instant ramen version of ichiran ramen
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elvesofnoldor · 3 years ago
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only in hades game do you have the shade of achilles, telling you, the son of hades, how to do a mini rpg romance with your childhood best friend thanatos, the embodiment of death, who by the way has the fashion sense of a hot topic employee and the temperament of a emotionally constipated college student.
 Time and time again im amazed by this game’s unlimited potential in being a tumblr shit post. 
#thank you OG gay greek man but i know how to do a rpg romance i have played the d//ragon age#ugh i run out of things to say to achilles and now he's just asking me if i want to fuck my best friend#it's so funny that in the codex entry (written by achilles) for meg. zag's ex-gf. achilles is all 'eh this is none of my business'#but when it comes to thanatos's codex entry it's like *extensive theorizing on how zag and he are compatible*#he's like a well-meaning parent who's patiently waiting for you and your best friend to realize your feelings for one another#it would have been sort of sweet (albeit. still weird) if i actually give a shit about than/zag#people are like 'omg th//antos is so cool'. what are you talking about bestie#if i found Thanato interesting then maybe i'd get a bit more enthusiastic about the romance but rpg romances are inherently cheap#rpg romances are like 0.5 cents grocery store instant ramen. it can be filling and it tastes good. but you feel pretty meh abt it afterwards#it's just that instant gratification but when you look back on it you realize it's not that big of a deal and there is too much sodium in it#idk if the game is trying to pull a 'achilles fell in love with his childhood best friend#and now look he's helping you to realize your feeling for your childhood best friend!!!' thing.#achilles and patroclus is not a rpg romance babes. it's Michelin star restaurant ramen made with wagyu beef. it's fucking ichiran.#you cannot compare fucking ichiran ramen with grocery store 0.5 instant ramen that's just absurd#well. achilles called patroclus 'pat' in this game so they are more like the store brought instant ramen version of ichiran ramen#mae overshares#idk maybe i will romance than eventually. i will get meg's companion first though. and then invest in some titan blood. im not in a hurried#i have a feeling that than's companion is a better companion than meg's. so i may just go with him for that reason alone#but i will get better weapons and then i will see if im ready to let zag to fuck his best friend. cause i sure don't want to#one thing i like abt. like. recent male protagonist in video games is that. i wouldn't have to romance a man as a woman#either i do a gay romance. which is fine. or i romance a woman. which is also very nice. it's a win-win situation#nothing wrong with female protagonist romancing a man in video games. i just personally hate doing that. as a woman#the best scenario is playing a woman who can romance ladies. of course. and that's why dragon age 2 fucks so hard#because the wlw romances are pretty decent. still grocery store instant ramen kind of good. but it was pushing limits
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aradeia · 5 years ago
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quarantine questions
I was tagged by @katadesmoi. Thank you! I like tag games :)
1. Are you staying home from work/school?
Yes, I’m at home / in my home town right now, and I’ve been here since mid March. I’m working from home which mostly means emails.
2. If you are staying home who is with you?
My family’s with me. My office plants are not.
3. Who would be your ideal quarantine mate?
My family’s great, so I’m happy to be with them. Would like to see my roommate again though!
4. Are you a homebody?
I mean, yes, but I’m not proud of it. I really miss living in the city and being able to do things there. I miss walking to work in the mornings and taking my time in the grocery store and going to the used book stores and second hand clothes stores. I miss the TJ Maxx and talking to people in the office. 
5. An event you were looking forward to that got cancelled?
Well, a major part of my job was planning for my department’s commencement ceremony in May which I wasn’t particularly excited about for myself, but I feel so sad for the seniors who are going to miss out. 
6. What movies have you watched recently?
My family and I just watched JoJo Rabbit the other night which was amazing. I highly recommend it!
7. What shows are you watching?
My brother and I have gone on a Breaking Bad whirlwind. We’d never seen it before. We’re watching Better Call Saul now which is still coming out, so we’re pretty excited. I’m loving the story, it’s so good. We’re also watching the last season of Clone Wars now, but because we never saw it as kids (ie, there’s no real nostalgia for us) we’re not super wild about.
8. What music are you listening to?
I’ve been listening to a bunch of really random stuff including: The Less I Know The Better by Tame Impala; December, 1963 by Franki Valli & The Four Seasons); the Into the Spider-Verse soundtrack; Congratulations by MGMT; and a couple of Fleetwood Mac songs. 
My brother and I had a dance party Saturday night listening to a bunch of old timey songs, the Breaking Bad soundtrack, Duel of the Fates, etc. Lots of fun! Lots of jumping up and down as Dad looked on skeptically. 
9. What are you doing for self-care?
We take our dog for walks in the woods all the time. We normally go in the evening when there are fewer people. I’ve been exercising and will probably start doing YouTube abs stuff because I’m getting bored of what I’m doing now. I’m also trying out some new recipes. I made this roasted tomato stew the other day and it was so good because I put two lemons in it. I’m trying to reduce how much time I spend online and do something, anything else, because I don’t like to be on the computer all day.
10. What are you reading?
I’m reading Pat Barker’s The Silence of the Girls which I said mean things about the other day, but I’m enjoying it more now. I read her chapter on Helen yesterday and I thought Barker presented a really fascinating portrayal of her. I’m conflicted on her depiction of Achilles and Patroclus though (apparently Achilles likes Patroclus because he filled the hole his mom left in him when she left the family? This is from a chapter that’s told through Achilles’ point of view. It makes total sense that Briseis wouldn’t know too much about their relationship). 
I tag @kallipareion, @poedamvron, @theladyelizabeth, @therosesofheliogabalus, @apricot-poet, and whoever else would like to answer the questions! (No pressure if you’d rather not answer, or if you’ve already done this tag game!)
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smythesm · 5 years ago
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Violent Delights-Sebastian Solo Para/February 15, 2020
Para: Violent Delights
Rating: PG
Pairing: Sebastian and his thoughts??
When: February 15, 2020 
Location: Boston.MA
Notes: Sebastian may have a connection to a certain Goddess of Love. 
Warnings: A priestess that means well but may come across a little creepy??
Sebastian liked to send flowers. It was classy and thoughtful but, not too deep. He would send them to his mother often, his old nanny, his mom’s staff, the mail lady that always made sure his packages arrived at his doorstep safely. Seb would send them to Blaine if he didn’t already know how to perfectly craft a beautiful, colorful bouquet from a single blade of grass. He usually would go online to send his flowers but, there was this one little shop a couple of blocks away from his apartment that always caught his attention. 
He often walked past it when running errands, it was painted pastel pink with two big picture windows, bordered with white trim, that would have different displays according to various seasons and holidays. All of the people that worked there were beautiful but, different looking. Love songs always played and there were always doves sitting in the blooming flower boxes out front. It was called ‘Friday’s Flower Shop’ and one of the workers always called out when he walked by.
Sebastian had never really thought much about it at first. He got a lot of attention,well, everywhere. He often got numbers slipped to him by cougars at the grocery store, men would buy him drinks at bars, baristas would give him free coffee or write cheeky messages on  his cups. It always seemed that somebody was trying to catch his gaze or win a smile from him. Seb used to love to flirt, and he would flirt with everyone. Women, men, everybody in between. He liked collecting numbers, liked flicking the little hopeful pieces of paper into trash cans, liked to wink at the shy girl at Starbucks who blushed every time he ordered his Venti Americanos. Sebastian liked getting free drinks but he loved playing the game. The tilt of his neck meant, ‘come over and talk to me.’ The droop of his eyelids said, ‘You might stand a chance.’ None of it mattered anymore, though. He had Blaine who fulfilled him in every way imaginable. Now Sebastian’s smile meant, ‘I think you’re wonderful.’ and his palm pressed to Blaine’s said, ‘I love you.’
So, all of that being said, he was used to attention. When the girls at Friday’s whistled and blew kisses he’d nod and flash a smirk. He thought it was pretty forward but appreciated how old fashioned and innocently sexy it seemed (Seb loved a confident woman). Sometimes the boys would hand him a single rose or a chocolate. Sebastian would thank them and bring the treats home for B. Blaine asked once about the shop and quirked an eyebrow when Seb had told him which one it was. It had been pretty early on in their relationship and they had never spoken about it again. 
It didn’t get weird until recently, when the owner beckoned him on his way to grab a few groceries. She was petting a dove (Yes….petting it.) and lazily called out to him by name. Sebastian found it strange that she would remember considering he only ordered flowers there once or twice. Maybe it was because all of her employees seemed to collectively have a crush on him. Not much made him do a double take but, his name in her sleepy voice made him stop and look around.
“Yes you,silly boy.” She gave the bird one last gentle pat before it flew off. She tilted her head, ‘come over and talk to me.’ Seb’s throat suddenly felt dry as he stepped in front of the big windows that were filled with hearts crafted out of roses and statues of voluptuous women and seashells and sprigs of myrtle. 
He was distracted by the display when her hand was on his cheek. It wasn’t startling like it should have been. Her skin was soft and she smelled like the ocean, like salt and white flowers and sandy hair. She smiled and dropped her hand. He thought that her eyes looked sad. “Star crossed lovers will always find each other, you know. Romeo and Juliet, Achilles and Patroclus. Tristan and Isolde.” When Sebastian just blinked she laughed and said, “Oh! You have no idea how magnificent you are!” She clapped her hands and sighed, “She really knew what she was doing when she picked you.” The woman fluttered her hands in the air and the gold bangles she wore slid on her slender arms. “I just love a tragic story. Things are happening, don’t you feel it?”
“Wh-what do you know?” Sebastian leaned forward and clasped her soft hands back, her bracelets jangled like wind chimes. “Nobody is supposed to know. Please, I-” She placed a finger to his lips, her nails were painted a sparkly red color. “Hush. All good things cost something.” Sebastian could hear a love song on the wind as a customer left the shop carrying a giant bouquet of various purple flowers (��Purple for admiration and success. He wants a raise.’ she had mused as he passed). ‘Wise men say, only fools rush in…’
Seb, who was almost never flustered, who used to flirt with dad’s in Target in front if their wives, who could argue in the courtroom, couldn’t get his mouth to utter anything but, “I’m not sure I know what you’re talking about.” His stomach seemed to fill with butterflies and his ears buzzed when she mentioned star crossed lovers. 
“Poems will be written about you and your lover. Ballads and songs...history will be made. How dreamy.” She sighed again and looked towards the sky. A dove landed on the shop’s pink sign.  “I’ll make an offering for you, sweet boy.” She reached out and clasped his hands. Sebastian had noticed the word ‘offering’, a word Blaine used often. Was this….a witch? 
She let his hands drop and plucked a single magenta peony from the flower box that hung from the window they stood by. “For luck. Though, I don’t deal with that much.” She winked and moved her hands towards the sidewalk, a signal for him to be on his way. 
Sebastian took a deep breath and held onto the flower. He was in no mood to grocery shop now and was left with even more questions. Since the visit from Hunter, things were tense, things suddenly felt dangerous for the first time. Now, some random witch lady who ran a flower shop had made him feel like he and Blaine weren’t as secretive or careful as they had thought they were.  
He walked in a daze and couldn’t shake the negative feeling in his head as he grabbed dog food and soy milk. Sebastian swiped his card and barely interacted with the employee who bagged his items. He just kept thinking of the couples that flower lady had mentioned and the one thing they all had in common-death. How was he supposed to explain any of this to his poor boyfriend who had been so stressed out and upset and hard on himself since the Paris debacle? Could he tell Hunter or would it just end in him being reprimanded again? 
In fair Boston, where we lay our scene, things were changing alright. 
/fin
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