#well its 2.30am so we're doing Christmas today on Christmas Eve | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

silveredsticks · 22 hours ago

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christmas eve ramble tags and some pictures of me and nice things from this year that i have randomly at 2:47am on christmas eve decided to post on tumblr. like why am I posting my face idek but I just felt reflective and i always just dump my rambles on whichever blog I'm using the most 🙈 i have not thought very hard about picking these. my motivation is that i want to force myself into acknowledging that for the majority of this year i felt good. I did good things for my health, and at work, and for my friends and family (even though I am desperate always to tell myself that i have never done anything good for anyone ever.) I found a new fun thing & lovely kind fun people to help me explore it. i got to sleep with my hand on/in Henry (cat not popstar) belly fur. yes i started having panic attacks about stuff to do w my dad, and money is tight (i mean i live in syd..) and i miss my mum and sara and i maybeee spent far too much time speaking to my ex fiance until he went on some rant about family law and I got the ick for once and for all lmao - but i was happy on many occasions.

#so we're doing Christmas tomorrow on Christmas Eve #well its 2.30am so we're doing Christmas today on Christmas Eve #ive been up late making Cypriot Grain Salad and freezing packs of scallops #no not a strange chrissie tradition just the fish place i ordered from listed them as $3.50 each so i ordered 12 just as a little two bite #mouthful each along w the oysters #and they sent 12 packs of 6 #which do NOT cost 3.50 each #i actually feel a bit bad #anyway i froze most of them #we didn't do a tree this year #i think last year i did the tree and needed to needed the connection to mum #but this year when i mentioned it to Imi she sighed. and its no fun on your own #so i bought a lovely Christmas Bush and ive twisted those wire fairy lights around it and some little icicle tinsel #i need to sleep for a few hours and then get up and tidy the balcony and vacuum and clean the toilet and wrap presents #can you imagine if i had been able to have kids i am so last minute its awful #oh and a friwnd who had a horrid miscarriage #sorry they are all horrid #but shes pregnant and thats really great news #and my dad was nice to me today when we talked #also i took an extra week of leave off so now im having a month #which is so nice #im going to finish two fics #send cards and parcels to ao many people #i have replies from when my mum died ive still not done #im going to clean out the grarage #im going to swim everyday and try my harsest not to get burnt #okay maybe every second day #summer!#iveet stuff w my dad take away my happiness i had for the first half of the year - also mourning Sara #but i feel a bit more in control and im going to lean in to being proud of what i achieved this year and in finding new joy

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