#well it's best to live in my own bubble ive taught myself to just ignore everyone else and their interpretations

[mihai-florescu]

I just saw someone call crazy:b a polycule I think I need to run into traffic

Oh...thanks for sharing...:|

[illyriantremors]

Beneath the Stars Chapter 17

Chapter: I II III IV V VI VII VIII IX X XI XII XIII XIV XV XVI

AO3 Linkage

Summary: Rhys picks Feyre up for Starfall along with the rest of the inner circle. After a strange goodbye with her dad that leaves Feyre feeling off, Starfall ends up dazzling and delighting everyone. After dancing the night away, Tamlin turns up and confronts Feyre about what happened between them, leaving a big surprise in her wake that sends her running.

Dress Reference for Feyre [last row; first image]

Chapter 17

The dress fit me like a glove. Deep swirls of black soaked into the hemline at my feet before fading slowly up into an effervescent rose gold that glittered and sparkled from all the tiny gems and crystals embroidered along the bodice. It was a modest cut, but it hugged me devilishly close. Color and design aside, my favorite feature of all was the long magnificent cape that hung off my shoulders and flowed gracefully down my back to stop just as it touched the floor.

Nesta and Elain had outdone themselves. I didn’t think I was worthy of such a dress until I’d put it on and seen myself in the mirror. Nesta stepped back with an I told you so face and left to go downstairs to wait with dad so they could see my big entrance together.

And I looked… I looked…

Damn, I looked good. Rhys was going to piss himself when he saw me.

My curves - because for once I actually had them - were accentuated just right and the bubbly hue did wonders for my skin tone. Initially I worried it would wash me out too much, but on the contrary, it was perfect. It didn’t hurt either that Nesta had swept a beautiful shade of bronzer over my cheeks to compliment the dress. I twirled admiring myself in the mirror before grabbing my heels and waltzing downstairs.

I was champagne freshly popped.

A whistle greeted me at the bottom of the stairs. “If looks could kill,” my dad said, “you’d survive the zombie apocalypse, Fey.”

“Thanks, I think? Heh.” I spun so my dad could see the back and he continued to compliment me. Nesta sat on the couch, but her focus was solely on dad and she looked somewhat more concerned than she had in the past.

I had sat dad down that morning and filled him in on what I’d decided about mom. He’d taken it surprisingly well. I listened on the landing that led up to my room for a full hour waiting to hear the whiskey bottles clink in the kitchen after our chat, but it never happened.

He looked somewhat disheveled now as he watched me. Were it not for the twinkle in his eye that said he was having a proud dad moment, I would have said his eyes were hollow. It bothered me, almost to the point of debating if I should be going, but one look at Nesta and she knew what I was thinking. She curtly shook her head once and that was that.

The doorbell rang and all of us collectively stared at the door.

“Well I’m not getting it,” Nesta said. Dad scowled and went to open it himself so I wouldn’t have to answer for my own date. “I want to see the look on that moron’s face when he-”

“Hello, sweetheart.” Cassian leaned into the door and straightened his bow tie, completely ignoring my father and myself the second he spotted Nesta. Even in his tux, I could see him straining to flex through the fabric. Dad didn’t look like he quite knew what to do with himself.

“Well, it’s a marked improvement over doll face,” Nesta said and I just about ruined my makeup with the degree to which my face contorted in surprise. She was even smirking back just a tiny, tiny bit. Nesta glanced at me and instantly glowered. “Don’t give me that look, Feyre. Get in the damn car.”

“Yes, your majesty,” I said.

“Knock knock.” Rhys tapped the door in time to his words and at once, everyone looked at me. But the only person I could see was Rhys - Rhys, standing in the doorway next to Cassian, surveying me up and down once. Twice. Lingering here and there where he chose to pay homage before meeting my gaze with a dazzling smirk.

Butter and bake me with the heat that crept over my face. Thank the heavens dad was looking at me and not the positively sinful stare Rhys shot me.

And that smile wasn’t even the best part of him. His entire tux from shirt to jacket was a deep midnight blue, so dark it was almost black. It pulled the color of his eyes out magnificently and sharpened his lean build. The faint shadows of facial hair over his jaw topped the look off throwing my body into overdrive, wondering how it might feel to have him prickling against my -

“For fuck’s sake, drool later.” Nesta grabbed the remote and clicked the TV on. “You’d think you’d never seen a boy before.”

I waited for dad’s reproach, the one he always gave when Nesta’s tongue started swearing, but dad was sort of awkwardly silent as he played a tennis match back and forth between Rhys and I.

“It’s okay, dad,” I said nervously, going over to him and planting a soft kiss on his cheek. “We’ll be back later, alright?”

“Not too late, Fey, please?” He swallowed a lump in his throat and repeated himself. “Please tell me you’ll come home?”

“Of course I’ll come home. I do live here, you know.”

It was a joke simply meant to lighten the tension, but dad didn’t laugh.

“Have fun, honey,” he said withdrawing from me and giving Rhys a polite nod, though he was almost too shy to shake his hand. Why he wasn’t more aggressive like most dads… well, he wasn’t most dads, was he? Still, I couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that something was off with him.

“Thanks, dad.” I held his gaze a second longer than necessary to make sure I got a smile out of him before I left and only barely succeeded.

“You too, Nesta! This dress is everything.”

“Fine, fine,” she said waving us off. I took Rhys’s arm and together we walked out with Cass to his car, Cass whistling a Sweetheart in salute as a parting farewell to my sister.

“Dad’s SUV again, eh?” I asked spotting the familiar black car we’d taken camping with us.

“He’s on a tour right now.”

“Oh... well.”

“Feyre, it’s fine.” Cassian answered like it was no big deal. I supposed he was used to it by now. “He told me before we left on the Thanksgiving trip that I could use it while he was gone.”

“I’m surprised he let you go camping with us if it was his last few days at home.”

We paused as Cass took out his keys and hesitated to click the unlock button for us. “Dad wants us to live, ya know? He’s a military man through and through so he understands discipline and hard work, but if there’s one thing being in the service has taught him, it’s that life is short and not just on the battlefield. Once you put yourself to work, there’s not a lot of time for vacations.”

“He must love you a lot.”

“Almost as much as your dad loves you, I think.”

I looked over my shoulder and saw dad waving at me from the porch. I waved back with a smile that I think he managed to return. “He does - love me, I think. He’s not had an easy go of it lately, but he loves us and that’s the most important thing.”

Cass inclined his head to agree and the faint beep told me he’d unlocked the car. Rhys grabbed the door handle, but didn’t pull it open right away. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, I guess so. I…” I bit my lip and tucked my arms together in a shrug. “I just can’t shake this feeling that something’s off with him tonight.”

“Off?”

“Yeah. I don’t know if maybe it’s the dance and me going out, or - I spoke with him about seeing mom again this morning. I thought he took it well, but maybe he didn’t. Am I going crazy?”

“No,” Rhys said, stepping forward and brushing his hands along my shoulders. “You have a right to be concerned. Feyre, if you need to go back at any time tonight, just say the word, yeah?” I nodded and Rhys slowed his touch on my shoulders, applying a pressure that was deep and reassuring. Warmth radiated through me at the way he made me feel, grounded me to the earth and didn’t let me fall - not ever.

“You’re absolutely stunning, Feyre,” he said as my back flattened against the car door.

“You’re not so bad yourself, Mr. President.” My fingers dared to creep up his chest towards that insufferable bow tie I was beginning to want to claw right off him.

Slowly, Rhys flashed me that grin again and shook his head side to side. “Cruel, wicked -”

“Would you two hurry up out there! I have a dress to attend to!”

The shout was muffled from inside the car, but loud enough that I got the message.

“Mor’s here?”

“And Az,” Rhys said as though his cousin had just cleaned him out good at a round of poker, winner take all. “I had to make her promise to stay in the car because I knew you wouldn’t want the fuss inside.”

“It’s fine,” I said. “I think I can handle Mor. Truth be told, I think she’s the one who might be a little speechless. This isn’t exactly the second-hand dress I got for twenty bucks that I’d promised her and I’m sure she saw me walking up the driveway in it and - and what’s that face for?”

“Because you underestimate my cousin immensely.”

He pulled on the handle and I was forced to move as the door opened. Mor sat inside and a huge buttercream cake was suddenly swept before me as she screamed, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” at the top of her lungs. Azriel’s head fell back on the headrest as he closed his eyes and his chest convulsed in silent laughter. The depth of charcoal black in his tux took all the light away from around him save for his date; it sharpened his face. He looked rather handsome.

“That was worth it just for the look on your stupid face, Feyre,” Mor said proudly. “Now take this damn cake and eat it before I have another bite.”

I cocked my head to one side. “You ate part of my birthday cake?”

“I got hungry! So sue me.”

“There’s food at the dance and - damn it how did you know today was my birthday?!”

I hadn’t told a soul. Obviously my family knew, but none of them had ties to Rhys or our inner circle except for Nesta and she didn’t hang out with any of… any of us except...

“Say, Cass?”

“Yeah, Fey.”

“Did you and Nesta ever go on that date?”

Cassian snorted and put the car in gear.

“Put your seatbelt on, Feyre.”

“Okay, Cass.”

Thank goodness, there was cake!

The gallery looked much the same as it always did. My boss had agreed to rent it out to us for an incredibly discounted price on several conditions, one of which was that none of the galleries be altered to preserve the art. This wasn’t horrible to work around since we had the whole of the gardens and cafe to do with as we pleased and lighting indoors was adjustable to maintain the illusion of falling stars and night skies.

The owners had seemed happy when I approached them with the idea. The gallery didn’t get much traffic from the youth in the city and I think they liked the idea of reaching out to an untapped portion of the market.

“Weeks?! What do you mean he went out with her weeks ago and not one of you of you schmucks thought to tell me!”

Rhys laughed openly at me as we walked through the gallery, making our way towards the outdoor patios and gardens where the music was already swimming through the air.

“Is it really that big of a deal?”

“No,” I admitted. “It’s not. I just - she is ten years older than him! And my sister.”

“Is it the age difference that bothers you more or the fact that she’s your sister?”

“The fact that she’s my sister and it’s creepy to think about Nesta… you know.” My body shivered at the thought of her tangling between the sheets with Cass. Hell, even just her kissing him made me feel slightly repulsed. “Nesta never dated when she was a teenager and not even after when she went to college. Her job was always more important than finding a man. I guess it’s just weird for me to think of her not being so closed off with someone for once.”

“I don’t know about that.” Rhys brushed over a spot of fabric at my side, his hand finding my hip as he steered us through the doors. “She seems to be coming around.”

I looked down at my dress. Our conversation in my room the night before had been amiable - enjoyable even. “Yeah, she is.” I smiled to myself, glad to feel like I had my sister again.

“Feyre,” Rhys said.

“Hmm?”

“Look up.”

My head rose from my dress on his command and I nearly toppled over at the utopia I found waiting for us.

The gardens were a living dream. The hedges had been freshly trimmed running in a maze around the grounds like I’d never seen in my time working here and Morrigan had found the most perfect fairy lights to string through all of the trees. I wouldn’t be surprised if my boss kept them after the dance was over. The sun had nearly set over the hills in the distance casting a warm glow over the lawns that mingled with the soft music playing. Couples were already dancing in various pockets of the scene.

And while the display was perfectly wonderful already, a vision to ensnare the senses at every turn as we waited for the Heavens to shower us with stars in the dark of descending night, all I was aware of - the only thing I was aware of, was Rhys’s hand gently taking mine, his thumb rubbing slow circles over my skin.

“Dance with me, darling,” he whispered in a tickle at my ear.

“All night?”

“With pleasure,” and his voice quivered.

We stepped out onto the deck and didn’t bother to go any further. Content to let the melody take us anywhere, Rhys pulled me into his arms and together we started drifting above it all. My brow rested on his shoulder wanting badly to sink into him and I had no idea where Mor had dragged Azriel off to in a dress that suggested her midnight tent visit had been well worth it, nor if Cassian was still with them or if Amren had shown up yet like she’d promised.

No, up there, it was just him and I and this steady, beautiful music carrying us to and fro. We fit together so easily. Every touch, every turn, every step was a fresh line of a story we had been writing our ways through separately just to get to this one single moment together.

Rhys kept me steady as others crowded around us in their own dance throughout the evening, but there was something in the way his head continually nuzzled against me, something in the depth of his breathing that I could hear that wasn’t quite right.

As if sensing my thoughts, Rhys spoke my name in a quiet, unnerving prayer for sanctuary.

Feyre….

I pulled back and found him contemplating me with worry, doubt, fear - any number of emotions. He was nervous. About me or this night or something else, I didn’t know. But the look was full of so much intensity and with the way his lips caressed my name making me feel like I never wanted to leave this moment - I knew then precisely how I felt about him.

Rhys licked his lips. “You look like liquid starlight.”

“If I’m liquid starlight, are you the lake I fall into?”

“You’re terribly cheesy,” he replied and crooked a finger at me to drag my chin upward. His lips approached me and I closed my eyes just as I felt them land softly on my cheek, much further from where I would have liked them to travel. His hand at my waist disappeared for a moment and without that anchor, I ceased dancing. Into my palm, Rhys pressed a small, square box.

“Happy birthday, Feyre.” I froze as my skin touched the velvet of the gift causing Rhys to chuckle. “Don’t worry, it’s not what you think.” He closed my fingers over the box and pressed it towards me. “Open it.”

I met his eyes briefly searching and if I was honest, scared at what this meant. But one look at him and I knew I trusted whatever he was doing.

Inside the box was a ring, silver at the band with a diamond shaped sapphire inland atop it. The setting looked antique. It had to be unique. And it was positively exquisite.

“Or maybe it’s exactly what I think it is,” I said struggling to find breath to speak with. Rhys smiled softly at me and flicked me on the nose.

“Or maybe you should let me explain first, smartass.” We stepped out of the way of the other dancers to a free part of the deck. Rhys took the box from me and pulled the ring out. It twinkled under the lights from all the trees.

“It was my sister’s ring, one she’d gotten from my aunt when she turned thirteen.” He held the ring up to me. “And it needed a new home. You remind me of her sometimes… when you smile or you’re painting. Happy - like she was. I want you to have it.”

I thought my heart was going to give out on me. This too much. Too, too much.

“I can’t-”

“Yes, Feyre, you really can.”

I took the ring and gaped at him. “This is - Rhys. This should stay in your family.”

Rhys brought his head down so close to mine that we were nearly touching and cradled my hands against his chest. “Right now you are my family. Our lives could take us in different directions, but it doesn’t matter. This is about who we are right here, right now. Nothing else. I haven’t been the same since she died. A part of me has been empty, like that hole you talked about inside of you? But you - you brought me back to life this year, Feyre. As far as I’m concerned, this is yours now.”

Somewhere behind us, the DJ brought the music down so that it was gradually fading to a stop.

“I love it,” I said slipping the ring on and feeling it anchor me to the earth - to him. “Thank you. I will never forget what this means.”

Rhys smiled broadly, the faint lines of his face disappearing as though the shackles had come free and he was allowed to live again.

“Are you two done canoodling yet? Feyre and I have dresses to discuss!”

“Morrigan,” Rhys growled. “Impeccable timing as always.”

She tucked her chin to her shoulder wickedly and pulled me away to flail. But while Morrigan chirped on and on over Nesta’s gown - now that she was able to view it properly out of a car - my gaze slid over her shoulder to where Azriel stood with Cassian at the top of the stairs leading down to the gardens. He stared openly at Mor as she spun for me, showing off the knee high slit in the white satin fabric, the open back revealing a bare patch of skin, and the sharp jut of the collar at her shoulders. Her hair fell in silky, golden waves in all directions, dancing as she turned every which way.

She looked like an angel come to save the world and here was a man possessed following quietly in her wake just hoping for a mere brush of her attention.

But then, Azriel kicked off the railing, tired of waiting another moment of being parted from this woman he adored, and walked toward Mor. His arm swept around her waist, catching her by surprise, but she nuzzled lovingly into him in an instant, her hair falling over his shoulder as she rested in the crook of his neck all radiant sunshine. Az kissed her forehead, something I had a feeling I would only see from him on a night like tonight, and Morrigan melted further into his side.

“Anyone fancy a dance?” Mor asked dreamily.

“Together?” I offered.

The five of us looked at each other sharing the quiet, happy smiles of family.

“Where’s Amren?” I asked.

“Sulking by the food, no doubt,” Rhys said.

“Hey!” Mor snapped. “I will have you know that I hand picked that entire menu. Feyre’s bosses were very gracious in letting me work with their cafe chefs.”

“She’s still sulking - like she always does at these things.”

“Oh whatever,” I said. I went up to Az and grabbed him before Mor and Rhys could go at it any further. I spun the poor boy into the middle of the deck wildly grabbing Cassian as I went. Within seconds, Tweeddle Dee and Tweeddle Dum had joined us and together, we glided between one another in perfect harmony.

Starfall was nothing short of a massive success. All through the night I overheard conversations from my peers about how good the food was or how much they liked the DJ’s choice in music and the few times we made a round inside, there were plenty of students enjoying the quiet of the galleries and admiring the art they offered. The whole night my boss lingered about with a look of sheer bliss on her face.

I spent most of the night dancing with Rhys, but also floating between him, Mor, Az, and Cass. Amren turned up fashionably late only halfway into the evening and kept mostly to the cafe exactly as Rhys predicted, but Mor was more than happy to drag us over to her for frequent snack breaks, especially once she and Rhys were crowned court King and Queen and had to dance together in front of everyone.

It was an effort to keep Az from choking on his laughter when our counselor read off the names. Cass was never gonna let them live it down.

“What say you, Madame Secretary?”

“Oh not you too.” I frowned playfully and grabbed a water cup off the counter of the cafe bar. Mor grinned, her cheeks flushed with the embarrassment of having to dance with her prick of a cousin for four whole minutes in front of everyone. I really hoped someone managed to film it.

“I think we really pulled it off,” she said. “I was worried when they told us the gym had flooded, but you really came through, ya know.”

“I did, didn’t I? I’m not gonna lie, this is leaps and bounds better than anything we could have done with the school gym, even without the flooding.”

“True.”

“Cheers,” I said holding my cup out and she tapped it back.

“Cheers, sista.”

We started to make our way back to where Amren was sitting happily at her little table with the boys, Az’s eyes never far from Mor.

“You two look cozy,” I said, leaning down to whisper in Mor’s ear.

“Pft! Speak for yourself. I saw that ring.”

My thumb met the finger I’d placed the ring on and spun it around my knuckles, a habit I feared I was slowly becoming addicted to.

“I take it the tent discussion went well, if you could even call it that - a discussion.”

“Feyre Archeron,” she hissed, swiveling to glare at me madly.

“You’re welcome.”

Mor opened her mouth to deliver whatever witty retort she’d imagined and promptly closed it right back, her eyes catching on something behind me. I turned around and felt my stomach drop off.

Tamlin was standing not far away looking at me curiously. He didn’t move or say anything, just waited patiently. I turned back to Mor.

“I’ll kick his ass, you know. Just say the word and it’s done.”

“I don’t think that will be necessary, but I appreciate it all the same.”

“You gonna talk to him?”

I looked back at Tamlin who hadn’t budged. He was clearly waiting hoping to get a word in with me. A quick survey of Amren’s table showed me Rhys laughing amiably with his brothers and feisty second. Best not to ruin a good thing perhaps by troubling him.

“Yeah, I think so,” I told Mor, nodding.

“Are you sure? I can go with you if you want.”

“No it’s fine. Go on. I’ll catch up.”

She left and I ran my fingers over my palms at my sides once, a habit I’d almost forgotten I had, it’d been so long since I’d indulged it last.

“Hi,” I said tentatively as I made my way over to Tamlin. He shuffled his weight between either leg and tried to to say about ten different things before finally settling on a simple, “Hi,” in return.

“You look lovely, Fey,” he said. He sounded wistful.

“Thank you.”

“Listen, I - uh, I know we haven’t talked in a long time, but I was wondering if I could steal your attention for a second before you get back to your, um, your-”

“Date?”

His mouth snapped shut so he could swallow as he glanced at Rhys. I too looked back at my table of friends and found more than one set of eyes quietly watching us.

Tamlin rubbed the back of his neck. I’d never seen him so nervous before. “Yeah,” he said and I was pleased he was accepting this so easily, that it was hard for him and he was willing to let it show. And I was selfishly more than glad that it was almost painful too.

“Come on,” I said walking past him so we could step back outside. He followed and we made our way into one of the garden mazes surrounded by flowers and greenery. The little lights Morrigan had strung through the trees were dazzling after sundown.

“How - how are you?” Tamlin asked sitting down next to me on a stone bench seat.

“I’m rather well, actually. How are you?”

“Fine.” His hands clenched the bench at either side as he stared into the dirt, refusing to meet my gaze. “I’m fine,” he said again.

“Tamlin-”

“Really, Feyre,” he interrupted. “I mean it. I’m okay. You shouldn’t be so concerned about my well being to begin with after how I’ve treated you, but I appreciate it all the same.”

“Well I’m not a robot, you know. I have a heart and I understand that however much of a prick you were... breakups are hard on both ends.”

Finally, he looked at me a mess of heated concern. “Fey-”

The old nickname coming off of his tongue was grating to my ears. Maybe this was a mistake. “What do you want, Tamlin?”

“To say I’m sorry.”

My brow lifted in question. This was not quite what I’d been expecting. Tamlin had a knack for throwing everything wrong in our relationship back on me. There was never a time where he was in the wrong and certainly never a thought of him apologizing for anything. The worst part of this was that I’d never before expected him to.

“You’re sorry?” My voice was thick with doubt.

“I know it’s not what you want to hear or that it can’t fix anything. I don’t intend for it to. But you deserve it whether it makes a difference or not.”

I hesitated before lifting a brow to allow him to go on.

“I don’t have any excuses. I don’t have any reasons. I just,” he shook his head, “ugh.” He lost me again and stared into the trees. “All I know is that I saw you dancing with him tonight and it was like my brain exploded with this horrible truth about our relationship. You never looked like that with me. Not ever.”

“Like what?”

“Like you were happy, normal.”

I huffed a laugh. “Nobody’s normal, Tamlin. If I’ve learned one thing this year, it’s exactly that. We all have our shit to carry.”

“Yeah, but I get the sense that you’ve learned how to deal with yours. I still haven’t.”

His head fell to hang in front of him, his hands hanging limply in his lap. He was right - there was no excuse, no explanation for what he’d done. But I also knew as I looked at him that I’d seen this sight before, this image of the broken and the lost. I’d lived it for too long and finally learned that running away was never the answer. Maybe that was what Tamlin was doing when we were together - running away. Maybe I’d never know. But I could at least do my best to help him move on even if I could never accept him again for what he’d done.

Gently, I placed my hand on his shoulder. “Hey,” I said and he looked up at me. I could see the girl who’d walked out on him a few months ago staring back at me in his eyes. “It’s okay, you know, to feel the way you’re feeling. It sucks, but you’ll figure it out. I did. And for what it’s worth… I can’t say that this changes things between us, but I appreciate your apology all the same.”

“Thanks, Fey.”

“You’re welcome.”

I stood to leave, the uneasiness in my stomach growing uncomfortable the longer I sat and Tamlin bobbled with himself. But when I was a few steps away heading back towards the cafe to see if Rhys wanted another dance, Tamlin spoke up.

“I’m sorry about Rhys,” he said.

Slowly, I turned around.

“What about Rhys?”

Tamlin’s chest heaved and he came over to meet me. “I’m sorry for what I said to you about him. About staying away?”

“Tamlin, it’s fine. We don’t have to go there.”

“Yeah, we do. I should never have said those things to you. I’m sure by now he’s told you about his sister and why he’ll never forgive me for what I did to her, but just because I was scared of you finding out the truth doesn’t mean I should have lied to you about what kind of person Rhys was.”

The faster the words came out of Tamlin’s mouth, the more and more confused I felt. But Tamlin seemed to think I understood because he kept right on talking.

“Do you think… Feyre, do you think he’d be willing to talk to me? I know I can’t make up for what I did-”

“What you did?”

“Yeah, being in the car with her, not stopping her from getting in it in the first place. Fuck - I knew I should have taken her keys. She didn’t even have a license, but I was half-drunk myself and stupid. Just so effing stupid…”

Tamlin rubbed the back of his neck again while he looked away and I think being so lost in his own thoughts distracted him from the small cry that came out of me.

Tamlin had been dating Rhys’s sister. He was the one in the car with her the night she crashed, the night she’d killed her and her mom and he’d walked off scot free…

“I need to get back to the dance,” I said walking away from him before he could read the emotion breaking on my face - the rage boiling in my blood.

“Fuck - yeah, of course. But Feyre, do you think he’d talk to me?”

“You’ll have to ask him, Tamlin. Honestly, I don’t know.”

“Right... okay.”

The heaviness in his tone stopped me as I climbed up the small hill to the cafe deck, but I couldn’t bring myself to say anything. For now, this chapter between us would have to close. I had other things weighing on my mind just then.

I sped off in the opposite direction of the cafe. There was only one place I wanted to be right now and that was my sanctuary, my second home, where I could clear my head and just think.

I wove through the dimly lit halls of the gallery and opened the employee door in the back of the first floor, flicking the light switch on my right as I entered a large unpolished room. The scent of stale paint and metal hit me instantly, one I would never tire of so long as I had breath in me with which to paint.

My canvas sat at my very own work space. It was a larger tableau than I was used to working with in class. For some reason, I’d felt it necessary to have a larger frame to work on. The more my emotions grew over the past few months, so too did my understanding of them, and if my AP project was meant to be a study in self, well then. Only the largest would do.

It wasn’t long as I stared at the still blank wall in front of me begging for a dash of color, a drop of paint, or a line of charcoal - anything really - that I heard a deep voice clear their throat behind me. I spun around and there he was standing in the doorway trying hard to look his usual charming, feline self and failing miserably as the all too familiar concern fell off him in waves.

Rhysand.

“It’d be a shame to get paint on that dress, Feyre darling, though I can’t deny I wouldn’t love to watch.”

My lips cracked a smile. I managed a small, short-lived chuckle before the tears started falling thick and free.

Rhysand surged forward, but I held up a hand to stop him. His eyes glistened waiting for me.

“What is it? Feyre - what happened?”

I wiped a tear away from over my cheeks and pointed at where the chair near my canvas sat.

“Sit down. I’m going to paint you.”

xx