#well i'll talk about that all day
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I’m begging for your opinions on regency era nasty Simon😭😭
i promised myself this wasn't going to become an anthology but here i am. anthologising.
he's from the absolute bottom of the social circle. his dad was the town drunk, and Simon made a lot of enemies. Price's shady dealings put him and Simon together. i want him to have gone to jail—possibly for murder—and it really shaped who he was as a person. made worse, naturally, when his whole family is killed as soon as he gets out. Simon is blamed, but there's no evidence. rumours start about how a rival gang tried to bury him alive when he was in jail, but he dug his way out. they say he died. he's a monster. a pariah.
he's probably a butcher by day but takes care of Price's dirty work by night. helps run the racket. is an enforcer. just a mean, broken man. spent his formative years in jail surrounded by horrible men.
and you!!! ahhh, Mrs Price's NOSY niece. she goes missing and you come down, sniffing around because this isn't right. why would your aunt run off when she's been raised properly? this isn't like her. it all seems so suspicious. and Price's accusations have tarnished your family's reputation - saying that she ran away with a lowly barkeep in the middle of the night. a decades-long affair, stole money from him. all sorts of nasty business that ruin your family. so, you come to stick your nose into things and ask the questions no one else will.
Price doesn't want you anywhere near his almost wife/servant girl, so he sics the biggest, meanest dog he has on you. only. instead of killing you, Simon takes a disgusting interest in the prim socialite who somehow manages to talk down to him even as he towers over you. it breeds an obsession. unravels all these awful thoughts he's had about the upper class. and his boss giving him the go-ahead to ruin this pretty little bird that always seemed so untouchable? well. sure.
he's keenly aware of how your circle works, and uses that tongue advantage. mocks you when you snap at him to keep his filthy hands off of you, and tells you that you should have stayed in your ivory cage, little bird. gets a sick, twisted pleasure dragging you down the social ladder just by lying his dirty fingers on you. from gold cuffs to a pair of rusting, iron shackles. he loves ruining you. gets off when you call him all sorts of nasty names, trying to act all prim and haughty still, even with his cum drying on your face.
you call him a monster and he pinches your face between his thumb and forefinger, cruelly asking you if he's a monster, then what does that make you? the little fool carrying his monstrous brood. who in your little circle is gonna want you now? knowing that a beast like him put his hands all over you and his babe inside of you? probs whistles to himself as he gets to work on "disappearing" your aunt for good while your whole world crashes down around you lmao
Price is miffed that you're not just as missing as your aunt, but. whatever. Simon's content. you're taken care of. and he gets to pretend to be a good man with his pretty little servant girl tucked into his side. everyone wins.
#i love love love the idea of Simon taking out his ire on you idk why like the idea of someone loathing you so much#that all the anger/disgust/hatred in itself turns into a form of obsessive devotion?#well i'll talk about that all day#simon riley x reader#regency era
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#one piece#sanji#black leg sanji#everysanji#sbs#this is going to be entirely unrelated to the sbs above here bc i havent seen reservoir dogs#but i feel like i havent done a little tag life update in a minute#as of time of queuing this the season has been going for about a week#work hasnt been too bad we're normally done closing by like 3:45 but we still have to wait for the bus#which doesnt leave until almost 5 which. i get it.#like the lifties dont get done til after 4 and same with retail and such#bc rentals arent due until 4:15 so they have to stay open for at least that long#but man its not fun just chilling in the lodge for over an hour until the busses start loading#but the work is fine i'm enjoying it enough#hopefully by the time this posts i'll have been able to start taking my ski lessons which i'm super excited for#i want to learn to ski so so bad#also!! i managed to befriend one of the ski instructors on accident#he's from the same area i am as well so we talked a lot about that lol#but he's sweet i like talking to him#i made a comment about how my brother was getting so old bc he turns 18 in june and he went#so what does that make me#sorry but you are 21 you are baby to me (a whole 24 years old)#the difference is i've known my brother for his whole life and you for all of like. three days#but yeah that's mod's life so far its been chill#but man i get winded just climbing the stairs up to the lodge every morning#tbf we are at like. 11000 feet above sea level so like#the air is suuuuuuuuper thin#also we're right along the continental divide too#its beautiful 10/10 would recommend#also editing this on 11/21 to add the steve buschemi screengrab
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The Story of Pearl Girl 珠帘玉幕 (2024) • Episode 10
#the story of pearl girl#珠帘玉幕#cdramaedit#cdramasource#asiandramanet#liu yuning#zhao lusi#cdrama#dramasource#dailyasiandramas#asiandramasource#asiandramaedit#parallel sets#mer gifs#i saw someone on twt talking about the symbolism of her catching his tear with the raindrop and i was not the same as beforeee#he can go on playing his erhu all day i'll be listening#this instrument is really my favorite of them all it's so freaking soulful#beautiful#gotta post the song as well
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Deeva's room makes you wonder if you're still in Octavinelle
Empty room edit by @/estcaligo ! You can find this one and more here!!
#Ok so the bg doesn't show it but there's a big plant next to the closet and next to it is her cello!#she doesn't have a roommate but that's fine!! bc she can practice violin/cello/singing all she wants without disturbing anyone#and since there's no roommate... expect more plants on the other side of the room LMAO#girl needs an extra day to pack everything to leave for summer vacations GDSJSDH#There are also little easter eggs from previous posts! I'll cry if anyone remembers the things I'm talking about 🥹#ALSO FIND THE HIDDEN MICKEY!!#it's not very well hidden imo?? or maybe it's just me#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland oc#twst oc#deeva twst#my art
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rook x lucanis: romance with a commentary track! solas and spite contribute with their thoughts and opinions along the way whether anyone wants them to or not. it's like a MST3K episode up in here as you try to get hot and heavy. in. in the pantry. love among the radishes at the end of the world (rifftrax version)
#still not sure who I'll romance first but I *am* starting to find lucanis just like. inherently hilarious. which is often how it starts.#for me. because of my many faults and flaws as a human being. I can't resist anything I find even slightly funny#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#solas#dragon age spoilers#god please PLEASE let there be a fade section where solas and spite could interact just to complete my Vision here#anyway I think this concept could bring out the absolute troll side of solas that I love and treasure so much#if you annoy him too much in your little fade talks he'll start loudly critiquing your kissing technique in the back of your head#'oh is that how people go about it these days. well. not how I would have done it but to each their own of course'#pls pls I want pass agg dread wolf roasts constantly he's such a bitch he was born for this (affectionate)#I mean only lucanis and the player can hear spite apparently so it'd be more like lucanis looking into the camera like he's on the office#it's so cruel I think he's already going to be real weird at emotional intimacy as it is he shouldn't have to deal#with being bounced against the fourth wall like a little rubber ball on top of it all. sorry about your life (?) lucanis
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what's your dissertation about? you mentioned it in the siltcord and i'm really interested
oh my god hey I'm so happy you're interested! broad strokes because I've only been working on it for a few weeks but: the current theme is 'resistant landscapes' (both man-made and natural) in the later writing of Shirley Jackson!
Essentially, my main thread is that Jackson had two parallel strands to her work, which as far as I can tell began kind of interrelated but then diverged quite significantly? She's probably best known now for The Haunting of Hill House and to a lesser extent We Have Always Lived In The Castle, which are these. weird surreal psychological horror novels, engaging explicitly or implicitly with the supernatural, and centred around introspective, strange and sometimes deeply misanthropic female characters from isolated social units with dysfunctional, possessive relationships to each other.
Aaaaand then on the other hand she was known for being a 'happy housewife' who wrote these whimsical, quasi-autobiographical stories about all her children and how hopeless her husband was. These were popular too. Betty Friedan called her out in landmark 1963 feminist manifesto The Feminine Mystique for essentially spreading patriarchal propaganda.
The interrelation between the two is really jarring, because in one family is a source of horror and tragedy and in the other it's a source of, like... laundry. And Jackson's home life wasn't everything those stories made it out to be-- her marriage was unfaithful, her mother could probably be fairly called emotionally abusive, and as I talked about on the siltcord, she developed severe agoraphobia which often left her housebound.
So, yeah. My plan is to explore the depiction of families as constructed social units in dialogue with the environments they are constructed in in that work. Obviously a lot of that is relation of house to family, in the context of which Hill House is especially rewarding to consider, but I also want to look at relationships with nature and urban environments (especially in the context of settler colonialism and how that has had an enduring legacy in Jackson's particular part of New England), xenophobia (largely in regard to class, though racism and anti-Semitism are presences in her writing), domesticity and the idea of the housewife, and how horror relates to All Of This. The ideal of making a home within a hostile environment and of that environment turning on you, essentially.
I don't yet have particular areas of focus within that broad umbrella, but I might update with bits and pieces about it as I work? I don't really talk about academic stuff on here but I am very much Critical Literary Analysis Guy and I do also post relentlessly about haunted houses as a concept so if people would be interested in it maybe I will
anyway if you've read this far I recommend Horror in Architecture: The Reanimated Edition (2024) by Joshua Comaroff and Ong Ker-Shing which is a book about how horror movie tropes can be mirrored in built environments! I'm reading it right now and it's conceptually fascinating plus fairlyyy comprehensible by academic standards (if a little dense) if you, like me, are a Fool who knows nothing of architecture. very good also for getting to look at pictures of some of the most Fucked Up Buildings (affectionate) you've ever seen.
#thank youuuu for asking this!! <3#I didn't want to hijack siltcord bookclub to talk about my academic work#at least in part because I think it's fun to read thohh blind#but it's my blog & I'll infodump if I want to#also holy shit morgan I think you just tricked me into writing up a more thorough plan for my dissertation than I did for my supervisor#so thank you??? this has been bizarrely helpful#fun fact I very very nearly ditched this idea to write about family/amatonormativity/happiness in the silt verses as my actual dissertation#but decided not to because I like my supervisor and didn't want to switch#and also there is essentially no secondary literature for tsv.#well. there is some genuinely excellent secondary literature#but it is all written by the same twenty or thirty very unwell people on tumblr dot com#and that's not usable because I can't cite it and refuse to use it without citing it#I'll still write that tsv paper some day tho. just for funsies.#dissertation posting#shirley jackson#the haunting of hill house#✨️#voices from beyond
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i want to delete my twitter account so fucking bad
#i grew my following off of anime stuff and now i'm into completely different stuff and i feel like posting about it -#will alienate my audience way too much#(if you wanna know - these days i hardly even watch one anime a year)#i wanna post about the fuckin saw movies and postal and weird video games and metalocalypse and music i like#and i want to post about my ocs without it feeling like i'm speaking gibberish to a crowd#but none of my followrs GIVE A FUCK#also i find it impossible to make friends on twt 😭😭😭😭 i have like 5 mutuals i'd consider friends#but alas i have too many industry pro followrs to just deactivate#and 40k followers is invaluable as someone whose only form of income rn is comms#tumblr has similar problems but at least i can talk about my ocs properly cuz of tagging#i don't like how monetized my account has become it feels so fucking disingenuous#it's just retweet retweet retweet post art retweet retweet#if twitter went under it'd be a blessing in disguise for me#oh well. suffering from success i guess#maybe one day i'll move accounts and KILL STARRYSHARKS ONCE AND FOR ALL#this is all 13 yr old me's fault#sorry for ranting/venting ig??? on main lol
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#ok finally making a post about meds#I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without'#I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk.#can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset#so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but#it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways#so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone#like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work...#for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well!#it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus#my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night#sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired#it was more something that I just did because I had to.#but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end...#I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too.#but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted#but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk.#anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too#but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared#so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow#anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING#that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up#I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world#and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better.#but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on#and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much.#and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so...#I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better.#and I'm just crying because of all this combined.#I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!
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Might as well have the salt before the sweet; so here is Rin's Finished Timeline!
Tag list (ask to be added or removed): @carrionsflower @statichvm @risingsh0t @simonxriley @tommyarashikage @kanos @confidentandgood @unholymilf @florbelles @thedeadthree @shellibisshe @roofgeese @aezyrraeshh @faerune @tekehu @jackiesarch @minaharkers @sergeiravenov @carlosoliveiraa @rosenfey @greenecreek @queennymeria @heroofpenamstan @tethrras @jamessunderlandgf @d-esmond @solasan @bigbywlf @delzinrowe @fenharel @imogenkol
#personal*#jess talks#oc: rin kyutoku#my writing#mha oc#bnha oc#anime oc#the finally concluded and updated timeline for my bad girl!!#have had a few moments though up since i first added her bio to her page#so theres some new sections as well as the final ones#i love redemption arcs#but i also love people never losing their personalities#so shes redeemed - somewhat#because listen listen listen#if none of the league experienced their awful childhoods: theyd all be good guys#thats the WHOLE POINT#i do have a happy au for rin and dabi#where they grew up happy and fell in love at ua#so maybe one day i'll write that out#but for now have the canon#i was gonna decide what happened to her mum... but maybe therell be an epilogue of how she kills her to save society *side eye*#and yes dabi (in canon) regrets what he did and cried about it#so him and rin being soft in the end isnt out of character#anyway ill stop explaining myself#i do hope yall enjoy it!!#lemme know what you think in the replies/tags!
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sharing random details because why not
If you visited my wiki (which is still WIP and i'm kinda sick and busy to update it rn so pls be patient) you've probably seen this on Abe's page
Well you should know that Abe's obsession with living up to his clonefather's name is my roman empire and I just LOVE that, because Abe chose a great role model :) This is why I wanted to bring up this topic way more often in my comic, because this is pure angst material (and also extremely relatable).
SOOOOO about that so-called debate contest...
Of course Abe lacks charisma and attractiveness so nobody listens to him. YES, I MADE ELECTION BLU-GALOO BUT MORE DRAMATIC BECAUSE..... BECAUSE WE LOVE ANGST 😋😋😋 IT'S ENTERTAINING
ALSOOOO not only do other clones not care about Abe, but the shadowy guys as well (which is not surprising cus they don't give a shit about anyone in this place). They literally don't treat him like a human just because he is not as great as the Abraham Lincoln himself. They wanted to raise him to be a leader but they gave him anxiety, low self-esteem and a strange obsession :(
So yeah after some failures he tends to spend a couple of days in his room, crying to his Lincoln posters (fun fact some of them are ai generated) and literally talking to them because..... coping mechanism? 🤷♂️
I tried my best to add something but this sketch comic thing basically explains everything so okayyyyyy you got my point :з
I'm thinking about his character development in the comic, I want him to start loving himself, be able to defend himself and just FIND HIMSELF. Because OKAY you can't be THE EXACT clone of your clonefather, it's not the 19th century, but you're still a human, right?? So just be a good human!! :) You're already on the right path since you began to fight for your friends' well-being.
Omg wait i'm already talking to him in second person OKAY YOU GOT ME PLEASE READ EXCLAMATION!2080 THE THIRD PART IS IN PROGRESS BLAH BLAH BLAH BYEEEEE
#clone high#clone high abe#clone high au#exclamation!2080#sorry not sorry but i'm mostly projecting onto him#still sounds accurate?#WELL GUESS WHAT it's because i'm literally him irl#abeposting will never end so make yourself comfortable and follow me lol#if alek's not talking about abe he is probably dead#Okay i'm taking another day off tomorrow and if I'll feel better I'll try to update the wiki at least......#friendly reminder that i'm doing this all alone it's very hard :( this is why i ask you to be patient <3
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i went to one piece orchestra tonight !!
seeing/hearing kohei tanaka and hiroshi kitadani... was amazing... ESPECIALLY having the honor to listen to we go, over the top, uuus, and we are all live !! literally we are, over the top, and uuus are my FAV one piece openings so clapping and singing along with hiroshi himself was just so... magical.
it made me really happy that i've become a one piece fan 🥹🫶♥️ im a little sad i had to experience it all by myself and i dont know many who are into one piece... but still a wonderful occasion regardless.
#my hands and throat hurt from all that#one piece#dain talks#im gonna unwind and watch the new op episode i have missed#really fun event and orchestra + AX is on its third day i think so there was a LOT of cosplayers#one day i'll have the courage to actually cosplay at one piece events/collabs 🥹🫶♥️#but like. oh my god. when we got to We Are#i jusy... cant put it into words how amazing and wonderful that was#hiroshi encouraging us to clap and sing along (did this whenever he was on stage) and it's just... so good#PLUS THE NUMBER OF US PUMPING ARE FIST IN THE AIR FOR EVERY 'WE ARE' AAAAAAHH#maybe it was a good thing we werent allowed to photo/record but it still wouldve been nice to permanently have this moment#ah well... it's all about the moment and experience#what a fantastic orchestra
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I made my best attempt at taking at a FFXIV hiatus in November to play Veilguard in full, but well, wasn't my fault there was a patch drop right in the middle of November. :') And I wasn't about to miss that, so. It kind of threw off what momentum I had in Dragon Age, and I haven't gotten back to it yet. And I will, I do want to play it, but I'm just going to be real about the fact that it's not gonna happen this month. The holiday season is stressful and right now FFXIV is my comfort game and I'm just trying to chill and get through December. I'll come back to it in the new year when I'm ready.
#and i know someone is going to see this and be like 'well you can't just expect people to tag spoilers for more than a month'#yeah... i can actually#because demanding that people hammer through a new story as fast as humanly possible just to avoid having it spoiled on them#heedless of their own ENJOYMENT of that story#actually super sucks#demanding that everyone immediately have all their hot takes ready to post after rushing through the game once#and being scornful of people who dare say they liked something without having an essay ready on what they didn't like#also super sucks#there was the same pressure after DAI came out and it's part of why i didn't finish it for years#so. sorry.#i'm gonna play it at my own pace. i'll talk about it when i'm ready. if you're not okay with that we're just gonna have to part ways i gues#sorry to be grumpy.#this isn't any individual's fault#i just can't keep up with the pace of consumption most of fandom expects#that's a me problem i guess#dragon age stuff#fandom problems
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the thing is people on twitter can criticize a racist male driver once a year and call that "holding him accountable" while spending the other 98% of the year engaging in unapologetic supportive fan behavior. but when it's a woman suddenly you lack the cognitive dissonance required to do the basic compartmentalization of celebrating a professional success/on-track racing win (in the literal big oil and billionaires sport mind u) without going "noooo but bianca bustamante once liked an ableist tweet so therefore she's EVIL and doesn't deserve a CAREER!"
thinking about the difference between that one day when people suddenly remembered max and charles were anti-blm in 2020 versus the consistent hatred that gets slung bianca's way any time something good happens—for an act that, let's be so honest, would've been forgotten long ago if an f1 driver had done it
#“also she lied on her pr tiktoks :(”#“well she might not've lied but according to my research she EXAGGERATED to make ppl assume a false narrative. therefore @quadrant DROP HER#blanket statement i don't condone the wrongdoings of anyone in this sport but i refuse to limit that disclaimer to the women only#if you can root for a flawed rich white man 364 days of the year#but a woman not being a perfect goddess on a pedestal suddenly makes her unsupportable to you#that is called MISOGYNY <3#bianca bustamante#someday i'll talk about about how putting women on pedestals is also dehumanizing especially if the alternative is the ninth circle of hell#and therefore f1 fans dehumanize all women in motorsport (and especially wags!) even the ones they're nice to for now#but that's for later...
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Things I scribbled Over two months ago to Celebrate a year since my Cohort and I first Cursed ourselves with Dual Destinies . Featuring : The Inside Jokes We Made
#ace attorney#aa5#dual destinies#bobby fulbright#simon blackquill#apollo justice#athena cykes#phineas filch#aa judge#florent l'belle#the kiwi scribbling zone#Wish I finished the Lineart on the last ones But oh well We all must move on . Maybe One Day I'll come back to them#During the Entire game we just kept making jokes that Blackquill killed All the victims and Fulbright was his Accomplice#and that they kept Openly talking about it but the Judge just Didn’t care#“Anyone could have worn that cloak ! Like Fulbright when he was watching Blackquill murder the victim!” and The Like . Because Comedy
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Sparkstember Day 28: The Sparks Brothers
I'm not a movie person... So when I do actually rewatch a movie (I mean, even watch it, at ALL, haha) it must really mean that something is up. I mean, well, it also IS a thorough, highly enjoyable and visually appealing movie about a band that I've been so incredibly invested in for the past several months. So maybe it's a surprise that I don't watch it more often actually. Because one beautiful side-effect of seeing it each time was getting an unexpected and very strong surge of motivation to keep on going towards the things that matter to me the most, despite any and all obstacles that could appear on the way. Another side-effect of it is being happy and joyfull and being filled with warm feelings and thoughts for the whole following day at least. Usually up to 3 days afterwards actually.
But ok, of course, what I'm getting at is that the Maels' story is so incredibly inspirational. Seeing how they persevered through all those years and NEVER lost their spirit or their vision, never gave up... is not only moving but also something that reminds me that wow, so much *really* is possible. I spent so many years fully convinced that there are things that I'll never be able to achieve. And sure, some of them are indeed pretty unlikely to happen. But if you told me from even one year ago that I'd be making art daily and not dreading being so much as perceived anywhere in the great world (so, including the internet)... well, I would have not believed it at all. I really mean it when I say that I used to believe that there are things that I'll just never be able to do. It's like it was simply not meant for me to be able do it and have those experiences. And yet...!
There's a lot I owe Sparks and this is one of the biggest things I'll always be grateful for. They really changed my life for the better. Truly nothing else before them reaches the same degree of how much it helped me. And well, I'm saying this on TSB day because this is where this feeling of gratitude and feeling SO lucky becomes the strongest. And the beautiful thing about it all is that they were always just themselves. They had their vision, they knew what they wanted to do and didn't care about how it would be received. Which is such an important and meaningful message to me, I can't even express how huge it is to me to see these two people who only really had themselves and their endurance and got exactly where they wanted to be.
Alright, some less grandiose observations now. Well, let's start with the fact that this was by no means my introduction to Sparks but it still really cemented my love for them even more. I loved being reminded of their whole journey and learning more about it, and even moreso I loved being able to see more of their beautiful brotherly bond and their wonderful personalities. Truly no other people in this whole world make me as happy as them currently. And the brothers' sense of humour hits super close to mine, so this is also a time filled with genuine laughs (I die laughing at the absolutely true Sparks facts at the end EVERY TIME). And since I'm a huge fan of animation and mixed media art and such things, this was simply a joy to view for my more artistically-inclined side too.
And damn, those two hours and 15 minutes really fly by so fast. When I have to arrange a huge timeslot to watch it all in one go, because that's the only way to do it for me, and then it feels like no time has passed anyway. And even with so much being said there, it feels like there's still so much more to get to. But it's still enough to lift my spirits completely for a pretty long time. And to make me cry a lot of the time too... Absolutely impossible to not shed a tear by the end of it all. It's moving, it's funny as heck, it's super fun and it's absolutely beautiful and truly lifechanging. 💖
#once again had no inspiration to write for hours. but at least i managed to finish it before midnight#(this was supposed to be short btw)#and anyway i guess that this is the point when i can't help but get even more personal than usual#but fuck it we post anyway. i wouldn't let myself just not post so far into the month#maybe someone else can relate or someone can also gain hope that yes there are goals that you really can reach actually#if you really want it you know. i know it's easy to think that it all sucks and leads you nowhere. that's how it USUALLY feels to me anyway#but there are at least those moments when i can finally realize that man i've come so far#like. for real. it's true. i actually did the thing!!!!! you know#but uh well. not entirely happy with this post as usual but this is the best i could come up with today#well it's such a good thing that i can actually think and talk about sparks literally always#so this doesn't have to be some kind of final statement about it all from me. yay!#and yeah as i said the maels' bond is very touching to me so i had to highligh it a bit today#so have some good-spirited big brother bullying lol. and wow making it look like an old photograph was actually not that hard#but the poses WERE a struggle to get right i'll admit#and now just to find something more in me to say still on latte day and on the final day...#sparkstember 2024#my art#goose monologues
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More of this fuckass outfit.
#moe tag#i'm trying to focus on like. stuff that's already in the works. while i wait for my sketchbooks.#but also today idk what happened it's like. sometimes. the gunk hits me all at once.#like ohhhhhhhhh. society at large and more importantly a lot of my immediate family doesn't see me or respect me as a person.#okay! 👍 yay..... 🧍#well. nothing to do about it but draw moe in the most fucked up outfit ever. huge fan of this look#now if you'll excuse me i'll be taking damage in the corner now. okay. goodbye.#LIKE OKAY talking my shit but like i just feel really dysphoric?????? for literally no reason.#and i've just been dying badly all day.#idk what i want to do now. i feel so shitty.#man.#my art
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