#well 9 technically cos I'm out the night before

[jacobglaser]

Thinking I've got through a boring doctor who episode and then finding out it's a two parter. Pain.

[athena-studios]

ָ࣪ 𓏲⋆.ָ࣪ 𓏲⋆.ָ࣪ 𓏲⋆.

'Tis the damn season

ted nivison x singlemom! reader

synopsis: you and Ted hook up one night, him taking your virginity, he leaves the next morning with no note or goodbye. a month later you find out your pregnant with his baby, so you do everything you can to protect it. a year later, you and Ted see each other on the street, seeing your daughter and wanting to be a part of her life.

word count: 1.2k

tw: small descriptions of smut(in the conext of ted and y/n recalling their night, not anything to graphic), mentions of reader not being able to sleep very well

a/n: hi! i started working on this yesterday and now I'm really proud of it, it's my baby now. lmk if a part 2 is wanted!

the hospital room filled with cries of a baby. your baby, your daughter, dorothea. You and Ted's daughter. then it hits you. He doesn't know. Ted doesn't know he's a father. and you don't know how to contact him. the last you saw of him was 9 months ago, in your bed, both of you naked. it was a one night stand you didn't want to happen. but when you found out you were pregnant, everything changed.

That was 3 months ago. Now you were out on the streets, walking around with a bag of baking supplies in one hand, Dorothea, or Thea as you'd like to call her, on the other. when you walked to the other side of the street towards a café, you heard your name being called.

"y/n?" no. no no no. Why was he here? He's not supposed to be here, you weren't supposed to see him!

you whip your head to the sound of the all too familiar voice. "...hi, Ted." you reply blatantly as you adjust Thea on your hip.

he looks at you with a slight smile, before realizing that you have a baby in hand.

a baby...is it his? he doesn't know. might as well ask.

"Is it...is it mine?" he asks with hesitation blended into his voice while he scratches the back of his neck in nervousness.

"what if i told you she is?" you answer, getting slightly defensive.

and Ted looks stunned. like he had just seen a ghost. Can you blame him? He just found out he's a father! I mean, you technically can blame him 'cause he left you that morning without anything to go by.

“oh…uhm, well then did you maybe wanna…have some coffee with me? Y'know…t-talk about it?” Ted talks with a soothing voice, almost as if you would break if he went a decibel over. 

you nod at his offer, walking into the café with him and sitting down on one of the more excluded booths in the corner. you situate Thea on your lap as Ted sits across from you, avoiding eye contact.

“What's her name?” He asks, still hesitant.

“Dorothea, but I call her Thea most of the time.” you answer his question in an emotionless voice before an uncomfortable silence overtakes the two of you.

“so…I wanted to start by saying I'm sorry—” you cut him off.

“sorry for what? sorry for leaving me alone after you took my virginity?” you were angry. you told him that night that you were a virgin, just to leave you with your overthinking ass.

“y/n, please, I'm sorry. I know sorry doesn't cut it, but I will do anything to make it up to you. I wanna be part of our daughter's life.” Ted pleads, and he means it. he would buy everything in the world for you and Thea if it meant you would even just think about forgiving him.

“Ted…I tried, I really tried. i tried to look for you, i went back to the bar to ask if anybody knew you, but nobody did.” your eyes well with tears, but you refuse to let them fall. no way were you crying in front of this man.

“Please, if you could just let me be a part of her life that would be enough. or i could give you child support, how much do you need?—” he starts listing off things that could possibly help you, eventually making your head hurt.

“fine.”

“fine…?”

“Yes, Ted. fine, I'll let you be part of her life. we can co-parent, but don't think I've forgiven you.” and at that, he smiles. a big smile, a grin from ear to ear.

“y/n, you don't know how much this means to me. Thank you so much, I promise I'll try my best.” 

you let out a tight smile, maybe this could actually be helpful. Y'know, lesson those sleepless nights of yours. “You can start by giving me your number so I can contact you.”

Ted proceeds to give you his number, still saying thank you. “Ted, shut up before I change my mind.” and at that, he shuts his mouth, also stopping the headache about to form, giving you peace.

Obviously, that peace is quickly disturbed when Thea starts thrashing around on your lap. “shh, Thea it's ok, you're fine mama's here.” you cradle her in your arms. “Can we move outside? Thea's getting a little cranky.”

“Of course, I'll grab her baby bag.” Ted speaks and wraps his hands around the handle of the bag. He follows you outside of the café and into the street.

you try calming her down, but she won't. you know she's hungry, but she already drank the bottle you bought for her. so you have to nurse her. and to nurse her, you have to be in private.

“Ted, I am so sorry and you can decline if you want, but Thea's hungry and she already had the bottle we bought with us. I'm gonna have to nurse her back home, can you come with us?” you offer. Ted notices the worried look on your face as you speak, also noticing the faint eyebags under your eyes.

“I don't mind at all. I can come with you, it's fine. I can drive you?” he grabs his keys from his pocket after you give a thankful nod. 

quickly driving and giving him the directions to your apartment building, you finally arrive.

“take your shoes off when you enter. It's pretty small, I know. but it's the only thing I can afford right now.” you inform Ted and walk into the familiarity of your small home.

you sit on the couch, Ted sitting down and placing the Baby bag next to the two of you. you pull your shirt and your bra up before Thea latches on to your breast.

Ted stares. remembering the way the swell of your breasts felt that night, now it's bigger, fuller.

half an hour later, you've already set Thea on her crib asleep. You're now in the living room with Ted, talking about how you two were gonna do this.

“So, I could come by every other day, I'd text you first, and help you out with Thea or anything. my number is always free for you to call if you need anything, and I'll be giving you money every week for Thea, rent, anything you might need it for.” Ted repeats back everything you two had discussed since you had put Thea to sleep.

“yep, and I still haven't forgiven you. so don't think of this as anything.” you look up at his eyes, seeing the familiar glint in them from a year ago.

“don't worry, I've got it controlled.” 

you lean back down on the couch closing your eyes. “Ugh, I need a nap and shower.” 

“then go have a shower, take a nap, relax, do whatever you need and want to do. I'll be right here, and i can clean up for you.” Ted grins and stands up.

“Ted, are you sure? you don't have to do all of this suddenly just because you're a dad now.” you stand up as well, nervousness fillig your system.

“y/n, I'm doing this because i want to do this. not because I feel forced to or anything.”

“Thank you, this means way more than you can imagine.” you smile, tears welling up in your eyes.

“don't worry. you can take it as us starting over.” he hugs you as you sniffle.

maybe this isn't so bad after all…

part 2?

[satuguro]

*ೃ࿐ BLUE MONDAY

[ ACT III: KNOWING, WANTING ]

ethan landry x reader

#SYNOPSIS— you facetime someone first and you hate it, ethan can't tell when you're joking or serious, and you really hate richie's style.

#CONTAINS— murder!, gore!!!!, satire (!!), familial issues (implications of abuse), mentions of anxiety/ptsd, richie x reader (heavily one sided), stalker behavior!, fake dating, richie (yes, he needs his own warning), suggestive content

#AUTHORSNOTE— i'm so sorry for such a late update and the lack of activity on my blog, my mental health took such a plummet.

ACT I, ACT II, ACT III

the low hum of the computers in the radio studio and the soft sound of music paying through the control room speakers were the only sounds you heard as you spun around in your chair. a clean spotify playlist— something you weren't supposed to technically use for radio, but your station manager used it, so who cares? — played soft music on air as you waited patiently for your last song to end.

humming softly to yourself, you scrolled mindlessly through social media, taking in the last few days of relaxation you had until you finally began with you and ethan's little plan.

reluctantly date richie. gather information. get the fuck out and give it to the police.

and if all else fails? well, you'd kill him (something ethan was surprisingly not that disturbed with. talk about sibling rivalry.).

you hadn't spoken to either of them ever since sunday, when you and ethan formulated your little plan at an aesthetically pleasing botanical cafe.

the music came to a slow end, and you paused the playlist before turning on your mic. "that was my last song of the night. remember; variety hour with blackmore university radio's music manager— which is me, if you've been paying attention —is every thursday from 9 to 10. good night, new york." and with that, you returned the radio on auto play, allowing it to bleed into a few promos.

the radio and studio office was dark at this point, lacking any form of life other than you. with an entire radio station being led only by college students, it was common for everyone to be gone by the time 6 pm hit.

but you were a bit of a masochist. so here you were, doing your mandatory radio show in the ambiently lit studio and office of your station. it smelled of soft lavender from the plug-in wall scent one of your co-workers put up, and the only lights came from the lamps and soft yellow light that was put in to replace the fluorescent white that you swore made days go by longer.

your headphones were over your ears, one of them pushed back behind your ear to allow yourself to hear the outside world (you had to be cautious nowadays). pulling your tote bag over your shoulder, you locked the studio door behind you and closed up the station. and as you walked down the dimly lit stairs to the exit, you half listened to the echoing of your footsteps as you shut the door behind you.

fall was your favorite season. not just for the fact that the weather was a perfect mix of not too hot and not too cold, or that it was the last few months before you fell deep into procrastination due to the lack of sunshine, but it was because it was always so beautiful. red and browns, yellows and oranges, all painted on once-green leaves before they fell.

the crunching of the leaves below your feet as you began to walk back to your dorm was soothing behind the autumn playlist (which you had carefully curated, of course) you were listening to. and it would've gone on like that for the entire walk home. the same walk you did every thursday without fail, when barely anyone was out and about on campus and when it was only you and whatever weather there was that evening.

but you could feel someone watching you.

as though someone had poured water down your back, your skin prickled and the hair on your body stood up as your walking suddenly came to a stop. pushing your headphones down around your neck, you dared to look behind you.

nothing. nothing but the darkness of the rest of the campus, barely lit by the flickering street lamps. the light from the lamp you were standing next to bled into nothingness, revealing practically nothing to your eyes.

your hands dug into your pockets as you grabbed your phone, swallowing thickly as you dared to stare deeper into the night. deeper into the darkness you stared.

and then you dared to turn back ahead of you, walking with a stride quicker than how you usually walked. step by step, shoes crunching in the leaves as you briskly walked, keeping your chin up in faux confidence, as though you weren't hearing another pair of footsteps walking in the same exact pace you were.

and then you came to a sudden halt.

and you heard the extra footstep from someone that certainly wasn't you.

and you began to walk faster. step. step. step. feeling those heartless and emotionless eyes staring in to the back of your head much like you had stared at the back of your father's head. hungry. blood thirsty. desperate to feel the warm crimson on your skin.

you could hear them breathe. heavy and warm, excited and thrumming with adrenaline because it felt as though you were paying attention to them. you were finally reacting to them in the way they wanted you to; by running away in fear.

you pulled out your student id card, slamming it against the card reader before opening the door to your dorm building and shutting it behind you, chest heaving as you tried to compose yourself.

you went to the elevator, slamming on the button to get you up to your dorm room.

your feet walked briskly on the hallway as you made a beeline for your dorm room, hands trembling as you found yourself disassociating, barely showing any emotion at all if it weren't for your shaking hands. but as you were pulling out your key, you saw the flower on the ground.

lilies of the valley. your favorite.

looking up and down the hall, you grabbed it hastily and you unlocked the door, shutting it behind you and letting out a breath. staring down at the flowers, you pulled out a single note with a heart drawn on it in crimson red ink.

"fuck," you breathed, shaking your head as you walked into your room and locked it behind you, throwing the lilies into the trash as you swallowed thickly.

who else could have done this? who else in your life was most likely to follow you like a predator stalking its prey, waiting for the perfect moment to strike?

richie.

he was stalking you. richie was fucking stalking you.

you grabbed your phone, scrolling before you found a contact, clicking facetime on it and waiting patiently as you tried to clam the harsh beating of your chest. once, it rang. then twice. then three times, and you almost reached over to hang up, if it weren't for the face that the little sound came out of your phone speaker, signaling that he actually picked up.

"hello?" ethan said, his face squished by his pillow as he peered into the phone screen. "you actually called me. i never took you for a facetime person, but uh—"

"is richie there?" you hissed, almost scared to raise your voice as you paced your room frantically. your hands moved on their own as you took your ring off of your finger and began to run it over your knuckles.

back and forth. back and forth.

"no, i don't think so— what's going on?" ethan sat up in his bed, voice hushed low as he looked down at you. you were moving— he could see it —and he looked haphazard as he stared at you through the phone. protectiveness striked at his chest again as ethan gripped his phone tighter. "y/n, what's going on?"

"ethan, he's stalking me," you hissed, panic evident in your tone as you tried to compose yourself.

back and forth. back and forth.

"i— i was walking home from work and i swear to god, e, it was him. and he probably left these fucking flowers at my door too." you flipped the phone camera to show ethan the trashed flowers. "i'm not having second thoughts or anything, but if i have to deal with his stalking it's honestly just gonna be a pain in my ass—"

"you're not having second thoughts?" ethan ran a stressed hand through his hair, breathing out a heavy exhale. "jesus, y/n, if i were you i wouldn't even pull through with this shit."

"good thing you're not me then, huh?" you swallowed thickly, walking to your bed and throwing yourself onto it, letting your back hit your mattress. raising your phone so that ethan could see your face clearly.

you hated facetiming people.

"okay, that's all," you stated, as though letting him know that his brother was a stalker was just the most casual thing in the world. "i'm hanging up now."

"w—wait!" ethan said hurriedly right before your finger pressed the bright red button. face dusted light pink, ethan looked over your (once again) unreadable face. "can we.. stay on call?"

"no." you blinked. "why would we?"

"because i'm basically sleeping in an apartment with a stalker-murderer!" ethan hissed, voice coming down to a harsh whisper as the sound of the apartment door opening and closing rang in his ears. "i don't want to be, like, attacked in my sleep or something."

"he's not gonna attack you when quinn is there," you stated bluntly, finger still hovering over the big red button. "even if he does suspect something. you'll be fine." and you almost pressed the red button again. almost.

"y/n," ethan groaned, letting his free hand cover his face. you were so stubborn, so brutally honest, and yet ethan found himself not even minding it as he practically pleaded for you to just stay on call with him. "just.. just stay with me for a bit, okay? promise you can hang up once i fall asleep."

you narrowed your eyes at him. "do i look like a guard dog to you?"

"you basically act like one."

you stared at ethan, practically challenging him silently as he stared right back at you with those warm hazel eyes. "please?" he added, making you suck in a breath as you huffed.

"..fine."

an appreciateive smile spread on the boy's face as you set your phone down, murmuring a half hearted, "i'll be back," as you went to do your skincare routine and get ready for bed. "don't die," you added before you shut your room door behind you.

bad joke.

you washed your face, letting your hands move slowly down your face as you let out a long sigh, feeling your continuously tense shoulders relax. staring at yourself in the mirror, you found your face blurring into the background, melting into your bathroom walls, features seeping into the tile, melting into the grout.

you stared at yourself in the reflective one way mirror, face blank, pupils constricted as your reflection stared back at you. it felt like you were floating far above your head, unable to anchor yourself in the present.

the voice of the detective felt like someone was speaking to you from underwater. his voice was so garbled, so muffled, you could barely comprehend it. “y/n. you have to at least say something.”

but what was there to say? that you mashed up your father’s brain and liked it? that was a bit straightforward. and only a little bit too guilty.

what were you doing? you were putting yourself into the same position you were in those few years ago; a position of danger, playing a victim just to feel the satisfaction of watching someone’s life melt from their face. and that satisfaction didn’t come with any kind of remorse, because it took a special kind of person to make you want to see their brains on the outside rather than the inside.

you were regressing. maybe you really weren’t over what had happened to you. maybe you never would be, and you felt tour skin prickle at the thought, your hands gripping the sides of your sink as you stared at your mirror.

“your mother says you were protecting her.” the detective leaned in, putting his arms on the table in front of you both. his gaze weighed heavy on you, and you could feel him scan you like a file; taking in how expressionless you were, how even after everything that had happened, you didn’t shed a single tear. “was your father abusive, y/n?”

and that made your eyes snap towards his, cold and cunning, staring at him, unblinking. but if you peers too closely, focused too much on the emotion behind your eyes, the exhaustion of living, you could see that you had every reason to feel nothing for what you had done. you had every fucking reason to smash your father’s head in.

the door to your bedroom shut behind you as you walked back into your room, throwing your shirt over your head and grabbing one to sleep in. "hello?" ethan's voice came through your phone, your breath hitching when you realized he waited on call the entire time while you disassociated in the bathroom. just another day.

"hey." you made yourself comfortable in your bed, hands coming together under your head as you laid it down on your pillow, staring at your phone right next to your bed. an awkward silence followed for nearly five minutes, the only sounds coming from your breathing and ethan's mild shuffling. your eyes had fallen shut as you listened to ethan's breathing through the speaker.

"are you scared, y/n?"

the question, the sudden break of silence didn't make you move. you only kept your eyes shut, silently manifesting for the sweet arms of sleep to clamp around you. you hummed in response, pretending to think, but you knew how you felt. how this exact situation made you feel like you were 16 again, killing your own flesh and blood for just an ounce of freedom.

you hadn't broken at the seams yet. you were still here, breathing, eyes shut, on a phone with some boy you had taught how to smoke only a few days ago.

that's what mattered.

"are you?" you asked, dodging the question easily.

".. yeah." ethan sighed, the sound loud through your phone (he needed to move away from the phone just a bit, but you didn't feel like telling him that yet). from his side, he laid on his back on his bed, eyes set on the white ceiling above him as he spoke to you, someone emotionally stunted (he would never say that out loud, a it would be hypocritical of him to do so), about how he was feeling. "i think i've always been scared. of richie, i mean."

you stayed silent, your eyes slowly opening as you looked at your phone. the waver in ethan's voice, the way he almost felt ashamed to tell you how he felt.. he was being genuine. "what has richie done to you? to make you scared of him, i mean."

ethan's jaw clenched, eyes unblinking towards his ceiling. staring. gathering memories he had tried so desperately to forget, but every time he saw richie's face, he could only remember them. "he was always the more popular one. him and quinn— i was like.."

"a nerd."

"rude, but true." ethan sighed slowly. "one time, during middle school, i snitched to my dad that richie had brought a girl into our house —he was in high school, mind you —and i couldn't sleep because they had been fucking in his room. and that lack of sleep made me late. my dad doesn't like it when we're late." he breathed in shakily. "a few days later, after my robotics club, i was walking home and a bunch of high school kids drove up next to me and, uh..."

your brows furrowed. ".. beat you up?"

"yup." ethan popped the 'p', breathing in deeply before exhaling again. "and i saw him. richie. sitting in the back seat of the car just watching as these teenagers more than half my size beat me up to a pulp. and he smiled at me. as though i deserved to have my torso bruised and my face slammed on the concrete in the 7th grade." ethan chuckled humorlessly, his laughter quickly fading. "point is.. he always gets what he wants."

he sounded so.. defeated. years and years of being tormented by your own blood made him so afraid to speak up; to the point where he didn't even feel like doing so anymore.

you didn't know how to respond.

".. you're still up for killing him?" you asked, voice slightly unsure due to the fact that ethan had just casually spilled some of his trauma over the phone to you, who was half asleep and barely coherent at this point.

"i wish it didn't have to be this way—"

"no you don't."

"what?" ethan blinked, brows knotting together in confusion as he looked at his phone in disbelief over your words.

"you don't mind that it went this way. because you hate him." you sounded so factual. so casual, as though the entire situation was a case you could easily dissect and observe from a far. "and he's done a lot of shit to you and others. the people he's killed. the people he's manipulated. people like richie don't deserve anything." your words became sour, laced with the poison from the past.

"how do you do that?" ethan asked you.

"do what?"

"be so calm in this situation. this is dangerous shit— y/n, you're willingly putting yourself in danger."

you swallowed hard, weighing your words in your head. "it's because i don't want anyone else to die like his victims did. and i," you blinked, "i want to get them their revenge."

"by killing him?"

"if i have to." a beat. "are you still okay with that?"

was he okay with that?

ethan didn't know. he had been walking through the entire week as though he was nothing more than a ghost— eating and drinking to survive, speaking only when spoken to, living his days out of fear because if his brother had been killing people, when would he turn on his siblings? when would richie kill quinn, or chad, or mindy, or tara, or sam, or him?

he didn't want to tell the police and had his brother escape from their confines the next day.

ethan sighed. "if i'm helping you, then yes. i am." a beat of silence, as though his thoughts were overcoming him, as though he was weighing his options in his head. he knew you were perfectly content with the silence over the phone (as you probably didn't want to be on the phone with him for so long in the first place), but ethan wasn't like that. he wanted to talk, but about what?

he wanted to talk to you.

he wanted to know you.

"if we're going to be working together, don't you think we should know each other more?" and his question came out as such a pure example of simple curiosity, simple human want to know of someone simply for the sake of knowing someone. to walk past one's walls and know the little facts about them.

you were not one to let people do that. you were not one to let someone simply know you, because your mind didn't work that way. it felt off, it felt odd— the idea that ethan wanted to know you before the shitshow began.

"you don't have to get to know me."

"i want to know you." ethan's breath hitched. "nothing like.. personal, or anything. just like.. what's your favorite season?"

"well, that's really pushing it." you heard his small chuckle on the other end, your eyebrows softening ever so slightly at the sound. "it's autumn. and yours?"

"spring." ethan blinked up at his ceiling. "i like the rain. the smell of petrichor— a lot of people hate it but i just.. don't."

you hummed in acknowledgement, turning your head towards your phone. "favorite color?"

"forest green. and yours?"

"greyish blue. like the kind that appears at dusk when there's fog over the ground." you felt your body relax a bit; the questions were fortunately far more shallow than you thought they would be. ".. are we gonna do this until you fall asleep?"

"if you don't mind," ethan murmured softly, shifting gently in his bed.

"what if i do mind? i do have shit to do tomorrow, you know," you muttered under your breath.

and ethan would've felt pretty bad by your words. you were always so brutally honest yet so horribly awkward (it was painful to watch at times, he had to admit), but there was one particular question weighing on his mind ever since he picked up your call. one that you had easily deflected moments before. "y/n, you didn't answer my question."

your brows furrowed. "what question?"

"aren't you scared?" ethan swallowed thickly, eyes spacing out as he stared at his ceiling, at the darkened abyss of his room. "for your life, for your friends, for anything?"

were you?

you didn't want to be honest with him. you didn't want to tell him that in all honesty, you were terrified. terrified of losing the friends (that was a strong word for it) you barely had, of losing the small bit of family that was still speaking to you with faux smiles and condolences even though they were under the impression that you were an unpredictable woman.

and unpredictable women terrified them.

but your emotions were always increasing tenfold with every passing hour, the thoughts being so jumbled up and so strong that you had simply learned to drown them out. to continue on with your life with your tornado of thoughts and no one to speak to and no one to look for because you were used to doing this all on your own.

you had dealt with it on your own before. you could deal with it again.

but rather than lie to ethan's face, you found yourself confessing much like a sinner to an angel. "i am. i'm terrified, ethan." and that was all.

your fingers flew over your keyboard, the past year of having to write essay after essay finally paying off as you typed furiously into your laptop.

evelyn campo murder 2020

evelyn campo murder cambria california

evelyn campo case

you had only found a few articles on her murder, most of them not even mentioning the girl's name, much less many details about her case (unless you counted grim retellings of the crime scene). there was only a brief mention of a possible suspect (the man you had a date with in literally a day), but other than that, nothing. the police had no leads.

"why isn't there much on her murder?" you asked, scrolling down an article with a frown on your face.

ethan sat next to you on your bed, peering over your shoulder as your eyes scanned your screen. jesus, you read fast. "quinn told me that her parents wanted to keep it under wraps," he murmured, only catching glimpses of the article's words. "but i heard they got some private detectives on the case, too."

"sounds like small town gossip."

"oh, that's cause it was." ethan's eyes landed on one quote from the article as your scrolling finally came to a stop. adam's apple bobbing at the sight of it, he read, '.. found stabbed an approximate 78 times ..' the sheer strength and passion, the excitement richie must've had when he killed evelyn made his stomach sick. and ethan would've easily puked over the side of your bed if you didn't speak to him, breaking him from his stupor.

"hey, stay with me."

and just like that, ethan did. his mind was brought back to the present.

"right. sorry." you oculd feel his breath fan gently over your neck as he continued to look over your shoulder. "if we find the fingertips of his current victims, we can connect him to her— evelyn's —murder."

"maybe he kept them." you looked at ethan, confusion written over his face at your words. "it's just a guess, i dunno. but if evelyn was richie's first victim, then he might have kept parts of her. like a—"

"trophy. oh, this is so fucked," ethan muttered under his breath, moving to lay horizontally on your bed, the situation at hand easily driving him to exhaustion as he stared at your ceiling.

"we should first find out who his most current victims are, if possible. see if anyone our age has gone missing in our university or nearby universities." you looked down at ethan, whose face laid near where you sat. "if we can't, then we need to find those fingertips."

"right."

a beat.

"richie's working, yeah?" you asked ethan, who nodded as his doe eyes turned to you.

"yeah. he can't really be anywhere but work right now.” a hint of a smile graced his features. “i stole a look at his scheduling. he’s probably knee deep in papers right now.” he saw your eyes flash over in worry, the glint disappearing just as quickly as it arrived, and ethan knew. he simply knew that ever since richie gave into his impulses and followed you home, you were on edge.

you were just good at hiding it. good thing ethan was a little bit too observant when he wanted to.

"y/n, he's working." silently reassuring, ethan gazed at you, reading your indifferent face, searching for any more sign of fear or worry, but it was gone. you had gotten rid of everything before it could show even more.

"right." you looked away from ethan, feeling his stupidly innocent gaze still lingering on your as you looked back at your laptop. if you were to meet with ethan anywhere else but your dorm, richie surely would've gone out of his way to see. at least in the safety of your dorm room, you could shut the blinds and lock the door and be sure of your safety.

"what're your guys' plans tomorrow?" ethan asked you, finally allowing your to move on from the indirect topic of your emotions.

you shrugged. "no idea. i never texted him first— that's embarrassing."

"you seemed fine with calling me first last night."

"i never said that wasn't embarrassing." you rolled your eyes, almost hearing the stupid small smile that graced ethan's face at your words.

a minute passed in silence, the only sounds being your typing as you tried to build your list of articles on evelyn's murder. you had a grand total of 5 articles; better than you thought, but not as much as you would've liked.

he shifted umcomfortably in his seat, the dead silence only a bit too awkward for him. "shouldn't you know your plans, though? just in case he, uh," ethan clears his throat, raising his brows knowingly. he didn't want to say the word; but you already knew what he was implying.

"kills me?"

"well, yeah."

"he's not going to kill me," you shifted uncomfortably in your seat. "not yet, anyway. i'm too close to mindy; if i suddenly go missing after a date with him, mindy will find out for sure."

ethan's lips twitched into a small frown, hazel eyes darking with turmoil as he listened to you. "evelyn was my neighbor, y/n. she literally lived down the street from me; he's unpredictable—"

you almost winced at that word.

you could feel them all staring at you. whispering harshly, practically pointing at you as you stood at the doorway of your aunt's house, hands clasped together in front of you. your mother believed that having you locked up in the room of your new shared apartment in new york was unhealthy; and maybe she was right. for once, she had your best interests at heart, only you knew the outcome of her plan to assimilate you back into society under your shiny new last name.

"she's unpredictable," your aunt hissed as she talked to your mother, shamelessly looking you up and down as though you were some freak of nature, ignoring the clouded look over your eyes because you were barely keeping it together as it was. "you saw what she did, didn't you?"

luckily, you barely reacted.

"i know that, e."

"you know," he sat up in his seat, moving to sit next to you, facing the opposite way with his long legs splayed out on your bed, "after he was questioned by the police, he'd come home as though he had just come home from work or something. and he'd," he let out a sigh, "talk about it. like it was something so fucking casual."

"around you?" your eyebrows raised at that.

"no, never around me. but he would around my dad." contempt laced ethan's tone as he continued. it was hatred, but there was something underneath it that was something akin to jealousy, you realized. ''he'd tell him everything. what they asked that day. the leads he thinks they have— and he almost sounded proud that he was their only suspect."

"can i ask something?" you shifted to face your body towards his, your legs lightly touching his side. "if you were so sure that richie was the killer, why didn't you say anything?"

"because my dad worked for the department. so richie had an in." there it was again, you noticed; that familiar contempt. "and even though wayne bailey wasn't a part of the case, he upheld richie's innocence."

you blinked. "your family is fucked."'

"oh, i know."

"do you think you're the same way?"

ethan's eyebrows raised at your blunt question. he would've laughed in your face at your honesty if it weren't for the fact that you were dead serious. you stared at ethan, almost unblinking, expecting an equally honest answer back. "oh, you actually want to know?"

"yes?" you frowned a bit, tilting your head to the side a little. "did you think i was joking?"

"maybe?"

your brows knotted together. "i'm not joking, though."

"well, i know that now," ethan groaned, cheeks dusting pink out of slight embarrassment. "i haven't been diagnosed with anything other than like.. seasonal allergies and peanuts. maybe my moral code is a little messed up because i told you last night that i'm willing to help you kill my brother if i need to," his hands moved as he fell deeper and deeper into his ramble, "so maybe? the answer is maybe."

you listened to ethan ramble intently, watching his hands move as he spoke, as he ranted his jumbled thoughts in his mind to you. and in any other circumstance, you would've found ethan bailey annoying. he talked too much, couldn't handle silence, and had a way of going back and forth on things.

but you didn't mind ethan. he was tolerable.

you liked tolerable.

"or maybe the answer isn't maybe and i need to see a therapist. because i don't particularly feel bad for trying to put my murderous sociopathic brother in jail — not as much as i probably should, by the way — so the answer might be a yes, but for the sake of my sanity the answer is still.." ethan's string of words died in his throat when he realized he had been rambling for a good minute now.

you seemed like the type to interrupt someone who was speaking far too much and far too fast in a short period of time, but you hadn't said a word.

you were listening to him. staring (albeit a little creepily; had you blinked yet?) and observing ethan as he spoke too much about an uncomfortable topic to try and get rid of the unsettling feeling in his chest.

ethan cleared his suddenly dry throat as he stared into your eyes (for someone who hated to socialize, you held eye contact a little bit too much sometimes). "the answer is still a maybe," he managed, officially finishing his ramble. offering you a tight lipped smile, he added, "i rambled."

"you did." you replied.

"i'm sorry i did."

"nothing to be sorry about. i don't mind it." you stared at him for a little longer, blinking before turning back to your laptop, failing to notice the way ethan's face turned a prettier shade of red at your nonchalance. "when richie and i are out on our date, you should look for any ids or items he may have kept from his victims."

"right." ethan focused his attention to the task at hand, ignoring the way your prior words seemed to echo in his mind. how could he be thinking so deeply about such a thing when you were acting as if it was nothing? you were just a nice person; there wasn't more behind your words. "you should try and be out with him for a good few hours just to give me time."

"a few hours with richie. sounds great." you clenched your jaw, your fingers stopping on your keyboard. but they were still thrumming on your thumb, each finger tapping your fingertip in an undisclosed rhythm. "any pointers? like anything he may like in a person that'll make him," your nose wrinkled at your words, "not want to go home?"

"he likes you as you are already." ethan paused, biting his bottom lip gently as he reevaluated his words. "actually— he likes girls who he can't really have. like sam?" he rolled his eyes as he remembered their hellshow of a relationship. "he pined after sam for like a year just because she was dating someone before they got together."

ethan avoided your gaze as he looked at your laptop screen. "you know when he listened while we pretended to have sex? how he waited," from his peripherals, he could see your expression sour with anger at his words, "until you 'orgasmed'," ethan made faux quotations with his fingers, "before he left?"

"yeah." the memory of richie's shadow under ethan's door made a sick feeling broil in your stomach. and that feeling only grew when your mind came to a horrible assumption. "you don't think richie's interest in me grew after that night.. do you?"

ethan finally looked at you, his jaw clenched in anger and protectiveness as he nodded once. and that alone made your face fall in horror.

richie partly wanted you because it meant he deemed you 'forbidden' territory. because he believed ethan was interested in you first.

you groaned, letting your upper body fall back on your bed. "your brother's disgusting," you stated, staring at your ceiling.

next to you, ethan sighed. "i know."

you stood stiffly as you stared at the black dress you wore. in any other circumstance, you would've been comfortable with how you looked. you had styled your hair and this was one of your many black dresses that fit your features well, and to top it off, you wore a heart locket necklace and had your bag over your shoulder.

but knowing what you were getting into, it was hard to stay completely confident. you had basically shoved more of your strongest emotions into the deep dark hole in your mind just to keep yourself sane, but you couldn't even deny the sickening feeling in your chest that seemed to grow with every passing minute.

you still had no idea what richie's plans were. maybe it was something boring, like a movie then dinner. or maybe a walk in the park that would eventually lead to your death.

all you knew was that he would pick you up at 7 pm. that was all richie texted you, and now it was 6:45.

15 minutes.

"hello?" ethan's voice on your phone made you snap out of your thoughts, jaw clenching as you looked at yourself one last time, making sure not a hair was out of place just to keep up the facade.

you had called him again. at this point, you were wondering if you were lacking self respect for yourself, choosing to continuously call ethan during times of high stress in your shared situation.

you really needed to stop calling first. it was getting embarrassing.

"hello." you looked at your phone, watching as ethan tried (and failed) to set up his phone on his bedside table. you had been in a call for 30 minutes now, and while most of the conversation was honestly just ethan talking and you replying with short comments, you didn't mind it too much.

"are you, uh," ethan swallowed hard, "ready? hasn't been back since work so i'm guessing he's on his way to you now."

"i'm ready to get this over with, if that's what you mean." you set your phone up on your table, thankful that anika and mindy were out on another one of their movie dates (mindy was a little too excited to watch evil dead rise), so you could speak without interruptions. you sat on your desk chair, showing the upper half of your body to ethan, who was sitting on his bed, his back laid back on his head board.

but when he saw you, dressed up and looking a little bit too nice for his shitty brother, ethan sat up. throat running dry like it always seemed to and cheeks heating up, he managed an almost shy smile as he looked at you. "you look.. nice."

"thanks." a pause. "do i not usually look nice?"

ethan's eyes widened in shock (and slight fear). "i didn't say that! i just haven't known you for that long and i've only seen you like a handful of times but i swear you always look nice! you just look especially nice tonight. for richie." his nose crinkled in disgust at the thought.

you were all dressed up for his brother. and while the entire situation had made ethan throw up almost daily and feel far too many negative emotions that he didn't know how he felt anymore, he knew one thing as he looked at you, sitting so casually as though you weren't stopping ethan's train of thought.

he was jealous. and worried. and feeling far too protective over you, someone who could definitely handle everything on your own.

you tilted your head a little as ethan ended his short ramble. "ethan, i was joking."

"oh." ethan nodded, clicking his tongue as he tried to play it cool. "right."

lightly glossed lips curled up slightly, revealing a small smile. "thank you." your hands pulled your ring off of your finger. you let it run over your knuckles; back and forth. back and forth. the heated metal (you hands were and it was only a little disgusting) moved easily over your skin as you tried to calm yourself.

9 more minutes.

"y/n," ethan said, making your eyes focus again. "be careful, okay?"

your mouth opened to protest, but ethan continued on.

"and i know you said you could handle it," he said pointedly, making you shut your mouth, "but i want you to be careful."

three loud knocks at your dorm door made you jump, hand closing over your ring and curling into a fist as your steady heart began to pound loudly in your ears.

he was here.

"i have to go." you grabbed your phone, voice lowered down as you looked at ethan one last time. and for a brief moment, he saw just how worried you were. "you know the plan. be careful." and with that, you hung up.

the door to you and mindy's shared dorm felt far away as you walked out of your bedroom, shoving your phone into your purse before opening your dorm door. richie stood outside with a single orchid in his hand, its petals pristine and white as he held it. sleazy eyes traveled down your body, as though he was silently taking in your every curve, every exposed area of skin. and not even caring to seem the least bit subtle, richie took his time traveling back up to your face, his cold eyes watching you with interest.

as though you were some unpredictable toy for him.

"you look beautiful," richie murmured, making you force a smile as you tilted your head to the side a bit. shutting the door behind you, you looked him up and down; an open button up black shirt with a white shirt inside and some black jeans. the lack of effort in his style was infuriating— why did you have to dress up but he showed up as though he robbed old navy?

"you look.. good," you managed, unable to keep your honesty at bay as you managed a tight lipped smile. your lackluster response made you want to walk back into your dorm and lock it, but richie only chuckled at your response.

"nothing else?" he asked, handing the orchid to you. "i got you another flower."

another flower. you tried to hide your disgust at the confirmation that richie really was your stalker, instead taking the orchid with a tense hand. as you took it, richie began to walk down the hall of your dorm building, ready to lead you out.

"thanks," you stated, walking next to him and reluctantly allowing him to take the lead. wary eyes watched him, taking in the way he seemed to have perfect posture, how pleased he seemed in himself, as though his mere presence was a blessing to you, and the way he was staring right back at you.

observing. watching, pupils almost dilating as he took in how perfect you looked under the fluorescent light of the hallway. richie could feel his heart pounding, adams apple bobbing as he took a moment — just a moment — to admire his date. his date. the phrase rolled off of his tongue quite nicely.

you immediately averted your eyes back to the hallway in front of you. "so," you began, ignoring the way his eyes felt on your skin, "you were pretty enigmatic about this whole date. i almost thought you'd kill me or something." the dry humored joke fell from your lips before you could stop it, and yet you kept your eyes focused on the hallway in front of you, barely a reaction on your face as blood rushed through your ears. as you both began to take the elevator downstairs, you heard richie laugh.

even his laugh sounded ingenuine.

he stood next to you, arm pressed against yours, a little too close for comfort in the empty elevator. "just wanted to keep it a surprise, that's all." richie's eyes traveled to your hand, watching as you rubbed your ring subconsciously, a lopsided smirk appearing on his face. "are you nervous for our date?" he asked.

eyes blinking, you looked up at him confusedly. "no," you said with a tilt of your head, "why do you say that?"

"because," richie said, looking down at you with a mischievous smile, as though he was always one step ahead of you. "you've been rubbing that ring of yours ever since i arrived. i'd call it a," he thought for a moment before clicking his tongue, "nervous tick." a knowing glint appeared in his eyes, and suddenly you felt a wave of sick paranoia wash over you.

you immediately stopped rubbing your ring, your head turning back to the closed elevator doors in front of you both. your distorted reflection stared back at you from the steel of the elevator doors, and it was as though you realized just how trapped you were. there was no going back from this plan.

again, you began to subconsciously rub your ring. and richie continued to watch.

#AUTHORSNOTE— i'm actually soso sorry for the long update & the cliffhanger, but thank you for reading!

#TAGLIST— @cham9ions , @netey6m , @mskitkatbubbles , @onlyangel-444 , @cyueksims , @tisthedamnseason69 , @helpimgoinginsanehaha , @anthemabby , @clemenscove , @vanillawhale , @lanascinnamongirll , @rhaenyra4ever , @shebreathedherlast , @datingspiderman , @marurubahbah , @taetae123094 , @kn1n3 , @nox222 , @ch9mpi0n , @ooyuhgetitig4

[tododeku-or-bust]

Fic Writing Ask Game

I was asked to play by the wonderful @shooshopath ! I'm sending it to @toiletpotato @queenoftherandomword @spacebeyonce @surkovhasherpes

1. how many works do you have on ao3?

45

2. what's your total ao3 word count?

943,229

3. what fandoms do you write for?

Currently, just Patrochilles (TSoA and Hades)

4. top 5 fics by kudos?

Flashing Lights, Restless, to face the sea, where flowers bloom, Paradise, & and the nights, they are endless

5. do you respond to comments?

I do! I used to think it was really nice when authors answered my comments. I always make a point to answer comments to let people know I care about their feedback and that I appreciate their support, especially if they choose to become a consistent reader. It's a bit embarrassing though, half my comment count is me responding 😭

6. fic you wrote with the angstiest ending:

Lacrimosa

7. fic you wrote with the happiest ending:

I think the rest are all generally happy ending 😅 can't really pick one.

8. do you get hate on fics?

I had for a couple of my Patrochilles and Parenthood series, particularly on my OC. Tbh, I'm shocked I don't receive more, given that Black female characters usually receive minimal grace. Everyone's been very supportive, if not necessarily completely understanding the perspective of the narrative (thus the "your OC is a self insert" comment. Like, I'm writing about the experience of Black girlhood, where else am I gonna pull from lmao we tend to go through particular things!)

9. do you write smut? if so, what kind?

Nah, not really. I'll usually include a sex scene here or there, but I don't write just straight smut. There's always gotta be some angst or some sort of plot. I don't think my writing is good enough for straight smut, so I leave that to others.

10. do you write crossovers?

Technically my Patrochilles fics are crossovers, but fr I just tag both fandoms for reach. If I'm focused specifically on the TSoA rendition, I only tag for that. Otherwise, no. Same idea with MDZS.

11. have you ever had a fic stolen?

Apparently so! Well, not stolen, but heavily inspired by. Since it wasn't word for word, I'm not willing to get lynched by white fandom to start an argument about it.

12. have you ever had a fic translated?

I have!

13. have you ever co-written a fic before?

Nah 😅 unfortunately I'm too territorial about my writing process.

14. all-time favorite ship?

Patrochilles, with AshEiji as a close close second.

15. what's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Blooms of a Wilting Garden. It's a WangXian fic I was super, SUPER passionate about... And then I burnt out of both the fic and the fandom. It was just so toxic in that space that I got disillusioned. Maybe I will- it is outlined!

16. writing strengths:

I personally think that I'm very good with dialogue and character motivations. I'm also very passionate about movement while I write, bc I think that it adds emphasis to both of those things. But yeah, I'm very intense about motivations- how might someone's character change in certain situations? What might cause an outburst in one moment might generate an incredibly calm response in another, all for the same character. It all depends on the situation, and I like exploring that.

17. writing weaknesses:

I feel like I could do better with "prettier" writing. On the one hand it's a style choice, I tend to prefer words that get to the point I'm trying to depict. On the other hand, sometimes I wish I could write as beautifully and set up as well done a setting as other writers. I've been trying to do better with that. But I also write fic as a hobby so... 🤷🏾‍♀️

18. thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I've tried direct translation (language, then the English translation next to it) and italicizing. Some phrases I know well enough to use the former, but if I get caught up I will use the latter.

19. first fandom you wrote for:

On AO3? Bnha, tododeku (thus the name of the blog. I was pretty intense about it. Oh how I've grown in 4 years).

20. favorite fic of yours:

Hmmm... This is hard. I love all my fics as a favorite for different reasons 😭😭 the overall winner? Restless, my first AshEiji fic. It's one of my fics that I'm always rereading, and I love how it came about because of two nightmares I had. Like they really worked in allowing me to write a perspective on Eiji that I felt I wasn't seeing in the fandom at the time. Protection (my second Philia fic) is my second place.

Thanks for sending this to me! I'm so happy to see it 😊 I miss talking about my stuff sometimes.

[mackmp3]

3, 5 and 9 for both your OCs!

YAYYYYY thank you :]

3- What is your OC's fatal flaw? Are they aware of this flaw?

strangeways' is probably thinking that the correct solution to a situation she doesnt like is to just. do nothing about it and believe it will either go away, or be fine, or blow up in such a way that it all gets dealt with really quickly. avoidance? like if she has a big argument with someone she'll just avoid them for as long as possible. having an Alien Problem? her first instinct is that its probably not thatttttt bad right? surely this will be fine and there's no need to do anything tooooo drastic to try to fix it right?? it will all sort itself out???????? i think she is aware of it but possibly not the magnitude of how That Is Actually Not Ideal - when she realised she ages slower she more or less never saw her family again - she'd rather send them the occasional letter than have to see them age & explain why she isnt. like she'd rather not see her sisters or parents again (she wasnt super close with them but yknow, its her family) than have to explain any of what happened to her. but this is combined with being really bad at letting things go so she'll be doing nothing to change a situation while also being devoured by thinking about it. like a fear of change sort of thing

for mihangel..... in a sort of inverse of strangeways, mihangel sort of thinks that nothing too bad will ever happen to him - like yeah he died but that wasnt too bad was it? like he came back its literally fine. he can do xyz kind of dangerous thing because she'll probably be fine right? yeah she was distraught for months before he met strangeways because the doctor had left him back on earth without barely explaining anything but like she's mostly over that now so like its totally okay. this is a normal way to think about things 👍 like she doesnt believe she's indestructable or anything but has the potential to become very reckless, or impulsive, because she's either a) lived through worse & has convinced herself it wasnt that bad or b) just doesnt think anything could possibly go wrong. like she knows that dangers of, say, going swimming alone in the middle of the night in the middle of nowhere in a whim, but just does it anyways cos he doesnt think anything bad will happen to Her. does this make sense

5- How far is your OC willing to go to get what they want?

ooh this is a good question because i uh. am not super sure what either of their base character motivations are lol

i think strangeways and mihangel both are likely to end up in a situation where they're both so in deep with a situation that they Cant just stop whatever it is & go back to their normal lives. b/c strangeways doenst know when / if she'll die she'd probably let herself get, ah, a wee bit closer to finding out than most people if its in pursuit of something she wants - though i think mostly she wants to feel normal again. the time vortex changed stuff within her & she doenst know what & has been living with it for so long thats she's not sure what she was like before, who she could have grown up to be. she'd think well, if i'm going to die then at least i know that i can & i'm doomed to be immortal, and if i dont die then i'll find out later. she's about 75ish but still looks in the mid/early twenties range so she think shes lived a normal lifespan and wouldnt... mind? if she doesnt live for far longer even though she technically could. damn thats dark uhm sorry. she does want those extra decades for her hobbies though :)

mihangel i think would be driven to one (1) act of violence and then be so horrifically guilty about it for the rest of her life, like anxiety-spiral guilt over one thing, that she's do anything & everything to never do it again. he would think of it like that too

9- Do you have a specific lyric or quote which you associate with your OC?

not at the moment no :( i havent made playlists for them or anything though i might in the future. strangeways esp. listens to english trad folk & like nico, and mihangel to post punk & goth of a specifically 80s variety and im sure theres lots of stuff in there thats very Them but i dont have anything at the moment. however while writing this i did think of that bob dylan quote about joan baez 'she looked like a religious icon, like someone you would sacrifice yourself for' both of them have defintely had that thought at somepoint about someone

[onlythebravest]

✨️ Twenty Questions for Fic Writers ✨️

Thank you @disgruntledkittenface for tagging me! These questions things are always so fun to read and answer!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

37.

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

212 726

3. What fandoms do you write for?

rigt now, 1D and hockey rpf. I've written for harry potter and acotar before though

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

in order; never been a fan of change, but we're still the same, in the pub that we met he's got his arms around you, dream about a summer night, a conversation starter and these arms were made for holding you

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

yes! almost always. for different reasons. as a reader, I always enjoy getting replies to comments I've left. it also motivates me to leave more comments, esp on that author's fics. that's just how I work. and since I like and want that, I assume it's the same for other ppl so I do that to them. it's also bc getting comments sometimes makes my entire day, and it makes me so happy, and I want to let them know that

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i'm not sure i've written anything with an angsty ending? oh wait, two of my older mini fics do. the loss of a friend and what are we now? both have pretty angsty endings, or at least not happy ones. so i'll go with them.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

the rest of them? no, but I prefer happy endings so I think almost all of the rest have. all of my top five kudos ones that I mentioned above are the first ones I'd pick, so take your pick among those. but if I were to pick another one... most of the rest are kinda happy throughout the entire fic and then the ending doesn't feel as happy. so to pick one that's not happy throughout, but has a happy ending, I'll go with maybe we're good, maybe we're not.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

no, i don't. i've gotten some rude comments, but that's as far as it's gotten luckily

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

yes, i've written a little. it's still a bit out of my comfort zone though, esp posting it, but i've written some m/m smut of different variants.

10. Do you write crossovers? What the craziest one you've written?

no. or well, technically yes, but it's an abandoned wip that i don't like so that's all you're gonna get about it

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not as far as i'm aware, so i hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

nope. I was part of a round robin, but that got abandoned and I vowed never to do it again. group projects are not my thing 😂

14. What's your all-time favorite ship?

I don't think I have one. I change favorites so often, so I don't think I can say I've got an all-time fave

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

oh multiple! I have one that I do doubt I'll ever finish but I still hope I will so so much, so I'm not gonna give up on that one just yet. instead, I have one that's even less likely I'll finish. it's a fantasy one, enemies to lovers (I should've known it was doomed already then, that's not my thing), magic that was based around elements. it's main feature is that it has a "who did this to you?" between two ppl who don't like each other, which is something I love. maybe I'll end up publishing only that scene, it can be read as a stand-alone so it's not that bad of an idea actually

16. What are your writing strengths?

dialogue, I think. specifically banter, I think I'm pretty good at that. I always manage to write it in at least and have a lot of fun writing it!

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I feel like I write pretty short sentences, making paragraphs sound a bit choppy. I'm also an expert in writing english sentences with swedish grammar, so I feel for my beta that has to correct that shit. esp when the sentence doesn't even make sense in English and it's a guessing game😂

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

if it's important to the plot, then yeah, that could be nice. but it's a bit of a pet peeve of mine when i read dialgoue in swedish and it's obvious that the author has used google translate, it bothers me. i'd rather read it in english with an accompanying "says in swedish" rather than the inaccurate translation. but that's probably bc it's my native language. when it's in languages i don't understand i don't have that issue obviously.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

harry potter probably? at least that I posted for, might've written something that I didn't realise was technically for fandom when I was younger

20. Favorite fic you've written?

oh, hm... right now it's probably a tie between does it always end in heartbreak? and maybe we're good, maybe we're not. but that's probably bc those are the latest ones I published. one favorite I always mention is one of the drabbles in the drabble collection snapshots of moments, the one in chapter 11, pretty when you beg

Since this was the first one I saw of these, I'm not sure who has done them, but I'll tag @greenfeelings, @neondiamond, @larrysballetslippers, @lunarheslwt, @sun-lt, @hellolovers13, @zjofierose and @zanniscaramouche. oh and if you see this and want to do this, just say I tagged you because I want to read it!

[dharmasharks]

20 questions for fic writers

Tagged by @voylitscope, thank youuu 💙💙💙! I love reading everyone's answers because I am nosy as heck and you all are very interesting.

1.How many works do you have posted on ao3?

8.

2. What's your total ao3 wordcount?

129,639. I worked really hard to make time for all of 'em, so woop woop for passing 100k this year.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

My reading habits are all over the place but for writing it's still all stucky all the time.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

The more things change (Wartime, E)

Lonesome no more (Wakanda, E)

You are here (Civil War, M)

In the deepest night (Pre-war, E)

Well-worn (Pre-war 5+1, T)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Absolutely. Probably with too much enthusiasm. Posting fic is not always my favorite, but I love talking about stucky in the comments, so it balances out. Sometimes it takes me forever if I'm on a writing roll or if I have to like, work and hang with my family and stuff.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I wouldn't call them unhappy endings by any means, but both of my most kudos'd fic have a little twist of pain there at the end, just by the nature of being canon compliant and by engaging with the tragedy looming around the edges of the story. Lonesome no more probably takes the cake, though.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Till there were no more wolves in the West, my western/historical AU, has the most unequivocally happy ending I've ever written. The lows are low and the highs are high, I'd say.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Thankfully, no, because I'm sensitive and would probably flee to the woods. Why do this? Don't be mean!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

The big feelings, character study kind! But really, my top tags are Angst + Blow Jobs, so there you go. I like writing emotional sex in which closed off, lonely people get to (or have to!) be vulnerable and tender. I've also written non-explicit smut for You are here and Wolves in the West and like it very much, too.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

I don't. Not to say that I wouldn't, there are just so many toys I still haven't played with yet in the MCU sandbox.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Jeez, I sure hope not.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

The more things change has been translated into Russian, which is neat.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No, but that sounds really fun!

14. What's your all time favorite ship?

SteveBucky, Steve and Bucky, Bucky and Steve. I consume a lot of content and tip my hat appreciatively to a lot of ships, but I don't know, man. There's something about those guys. It has been years! They make me insane every day! What is that!

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a pretty extensive graveyard on my gdrive and I'm pretty okay with that. If I've abandoned it, it's because it stopped being fun and if it stops being fun then it's time to work on something else. I do have a 1920s AU that I don't think I'll finish, but that's only because it morphed into something else that I like better.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterization, tension, emotions. I think I have a restrained style that works well for the kinds of quiet moments I like to write about.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Being the slowest of the slowpokes, ugh. But technically speaking, plotty stuff is hard. Dialogue also takes me a while. I think I've gotten a lot better, but sometimes I'll read something (stucky, obviously) with just the snappiest, most gut punchy exchanges and want to throw my computer out the window.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Oh gosh, that intimidates me. I've dropped one-word phrases here and there, but I only speak English fluently and would be so embarrassed if I used some google translate gibberish. (Although, apparently that's good enough for Marvel, so maybe my standards are too high.)

19. First fandom you wrote for?

I had a semi-functional desktop computer in my room growing up that wasn't connected to the Internet, so the world will never know how much hurt/comfort Animorphs fic was happening in there. I also wrote a lot of original fiction for most of my young adult life. Stucky is the first fandom I ever posted stuff for, though.

20. Favorite fic you've written?

Wolves in the West is my most favorite thing. I dug so deep on those characters and went so far out of my comfort zone. I quit and un-quit about 5 times. It's my favorite 'verse to hang out in when I'm washing dishes or bored in a meeting, which explains why I'm writing a porn-with-feelings addition...instead of the fic I'm supposed to be working on that has an actual deadline. (*sweats*)

Tagging in @hipsterdiva @dontcallmebree @xoxobuckybarnes @sparkagrace and anyone else who hasn't gone yet but wants to!

[alphacrone]

Answer the Questions and Tag 5 Fanfic Authors

thanks for the tag @pfirsichspritzer!

1 . How did you get into writing fanfiction?

ohhhh boy i don't really remember. it was either bc of harry potter or the bartimaeus trilogy, i got into reading it while waiting for books to come out and then i started writing stuff that would never be published. eventually i got really into twilight at 14-15 and created a ff.net account to start publishing and never looked back.

2. How many fandoms have you written in?

oh lord ok i've had three ff.net accounts, a livejournal account, and an ao3 account over the span of 15-ish years. i'm gonna say a minimum of 10, likely more.

3. How many years have you been writing fanfiction?

i've been publishing for 15-ish years, but writing fic for much longer. at age like 12 or 13 i had my own hp fan site (my dad wanted me to learn html) that i technically posted fic to but i don't count that bc no one ever saw it.

4. Do you read or write more fanfiction?

lately i've been writing more but usually i read more.

5. What is one way you’ve improved as a writer?

i don't quite understand what this is asking. if it's asking one manner in which i've improved, i could not tell you that. i'm TRYING to cut down on superfluous adverb/adjective usage, but i know i'm not successful in that yet. if it's asking one exercise or trick i've used to improve, the answer is by reading, always by reading.

6. What’s the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

london sewer systems, the diamagnetic properties of water, how nighttime and darkness affect the earth's magnetic field.

7. What’s your favorite type of comment to receive on your work?

i LOVE when someone will pick out a line or paragraph that really resonated with them.

8. What’s the most fringe trope/topic you write about?

i don't quite understand this question. i write a lot of rare pairs? my l&co writing used to be for a pretty fringe fandom before the show came out?

9. What is the hardest type of story for you to write?

anything with a lot of action. i struggle with pacing and the scenes tend to get choppy or awkward.

10. What is the easiest type?

introspection, emotion-heavy one-shots, or anything with lots of banter. i love writing dialogue.

11. Where do you do your writing? What platform? When?

i tend to write on my computer, sometimes phone or in a journal. i use gdocs though i know i need to stop bc of ai scraping, so i'll go back to ms word or a similar word processor soon. either late at night or when i'm supposed to be working lol (shhh)

12. What is something you’ve been too nervous/intimidated to write, but would love to write one day?

hmmm i've been wanting to do fic in the form of like epistolaries, video/podcast/radio transcripts, 2nd person narration, newpaper articles, mixed media, etc.etc.

13. What made you choose your username?

lol which one. my ao3 username comes from the song deeper well. i wish i could change it to alphacrone tho, it's easier to remember and i'd like more consistency.

tagging: @ghosthorse @injustspring @displayheartcode idk tag urselves

[sunsetcurbed]

20 Questions

Saw someone do this and gave an open tag and I'm bored at work so guess what I'm doing.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 28

2. Whats your total AO3 word count? 538,006

3. What fandoms do you write for? Currently, Julie and the Phantoms and Bridgerton. In the past I've also written Harry Potter (obligatory fuck JKR), 9-1-1, Teen Wolf, etc.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

don't you know you've got the best of me? - 6,314

so just give me one more night - 2,606

every piece of you (it just fits perfectly) - 1,188

and even better, i get to be the other half of you - 770

i didn't wanna believe that i could lose you - 750

5. Do you respond to comments? Unfortunately, not typically. I used to, but I was putting so much effort in to responding and it just took a lot out of me.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Hands down don't you know you've got the best of me?. I strongly believe in HEA and all my fics will have one, however, dykygtbom is more of a bittersweet ending?? It's still a happy ending, but there's a lot of darkness in there as well.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? ... All of them?? As I said, HEA is my thing, and I don't really skimp on them. If you pressed me for an answer, I'd probably say give me something to hold on to, SOLELY because we see some of the happy ending that is simply implied in others. Like, we see the proposal, the wedding, their kids, etc. So probably that one, but like. My other fics don't not have a happy ending.

8. Do you get hate on fics? I've gotten exactly one comment that I'd classify as a "hate" comment, but I've seen people hate on my fics in other places outside of my comments. So like... yes but no?

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I do not! If I want to indicate a sex scene, it will be a fade to black.

10. Do you write crossovers? I do not! It's nothing I'm against and I won't say I'll never write one.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Yes, a few times. Mostly people reposting my fics onto WattPad.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Someone recently asked if they could translate dykygtbom! So in process, I guess?

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Once! life is not a love song we can try I also haven't technically co-written with them, but @willexmagic and @hufflebibin have been involved in a lot of plotting for my more recent Willex fics, like mob au.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? This question is illegal actually, didn't you know? Top 5 are:

Penelope/Colin (Bridgerton)

Fred/Hermione (Harry Potter (obligatory fuck JKR))

Willie/Alex (Julie and the Phantoms)

Ben/Leslie (Parks & Rec)

Percy/Annabeth (Percy Jackson and the Olympians)

And it was hard narrowing it down to those. :( Also yes I am a friends to lovers truther.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? Honestly... it depends? Right now I'd probably say MLB au for Willex. I want to finish that so badly, but I just haven't had the steam for it. There are other Willex fics I'll definitely be finishing—mechanic au, mob au, etc—but MLB au is just so long, so I'll just have to see how it plays out.

16. What are your writing strengths? Texting. /j (No but actually the amount of comments I have gotten in my fics that have complimented the texting/soc med elements that I include is actually really cool.) I'm often told I'm good at characterization and voices!

17. What are your writing weaknesses? I feel like I can really struggle with pacing. Also knowing where to put hands.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Have you ever read Gallagher Girls by Ally Carter? They sometimes speak different languages in those books, but the internal thoughts translate for you. Not like word for word, but like, say someone asked "What did you do on summer vacation?" the internal monologue would kind of paraphrase that and while you might not know exactly what was said, you're given insight into what is being said. I rarely use different languages, but when I do, that's the technique I use.

19. First fandom you wrote for? The fics no longer exist, but Maximum Ride. Yeah, I've been around the block a few times.

20. Favorite fic you've written? give me something to hold on to. It's my most honest, real, human fic. So much went into that fic and it's the one I'm most proud of.

Tagging anyone and everyone who wants to do this!

[merlyn-bane]

Fic Writer 20 Questions

Thanks for the tag, @frostbitebakery !!🥰🥰🥰

1.) How many works do you have on ao3

35, but that also includes some of pyro's that I'm listed as co on because I helped with so much of the plotting out and behind the scenes stuff

2.) What's your ao3 word count?

336,631

3.) What fandoms do you write for?

Right now primarily Star Wars bc that's where my brainrot is, but I've been known to play around in a few other sandboxes. There are a few Star Trek fics on my AO3 as well, and there's a multifandom xreader sideblog floating around somewhere that I am not going to tag because I consider it a Different Era and not reflective of the work I'm doing now. Even though I'm STILL getting notes on a Wolverine smut fic I posted all the way back in 2018.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Foelu

SubObi Week Day Five

SubObi Week Day One

SubObi Week Day Four

SubObi Week Day Six

(Foelu is leading by A Margin in basically everything but hits now, it's insane)

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to! And I'm usually pretty good at it. Sometimes I'm really not sure what to say and sometimes I get kind of overwhelmed so not always, but I do try. I'm super behind on Foelu atm bc you all continue to just blow me away with the support on that one, but I promise I'm planning to sit down and try to get caught up soon.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Angsty endings aren't super my thing, to be honest. Most of the things I've actually finished have happy endings, just because that's my personal preference. Most of my angst is in the middle, and I'd say probably the angstiest fic I have (at least right now) is Traveling Song. Ari has...been through it. It used to be a whole lot worse before the first rewrite happened though.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Idk, maybe the Obi-Wan Omegaverse series I did for SubObi Week?

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

Not yet, here's to hoping that doesn't change anytime soon.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Oh, yes. All sorts of it 😈😈

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Crossovers have never super been my thing, so no, not really.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that know of, again, hoping it stays that way.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not yet, I think, but I have had one or two podfic'ed!

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

I'm listed as a co-author on @pyromanicdaydreamer 's The Moments In Between since I helped with so much of the development for it (what can I say, I'm an ideas guy if I'm anything), but I've never really co-written anything, as far as the actual words and stuff.

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

I'm mentally ill about Codywan in a way I've never really been before or since, to be honest. They're my special little guys. Also, though, Octavious and Jedidiah from Night At The Museum, Obviously.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Oh, so many.

16.) What are your writing strengths?

I think the most consistent feedback I've gotten is that my character work and humor are good, which does just make me feel real nice because characterization is something I worry about.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

I am a total slave to the muse, my WIP graveyard is sprawling. I do think I could stand to be a little more descriptive at times, and I'm never going to claim that an English teacher wouldn't cry at some of my grammar. I'm a lot more concerned with how things sound than if they're technically correct.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

It's one of those things that's dependent on the characters, but when appropriate I do think it can add more depth. It also just makes sense for some characters--for example, you can be on either side of the clones-being-Mandalorian debate, but picking up another language from the trainers that the Kaminoans and likely their future generals don't know could only be in their best interest strategically.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Marvel I think. Pyro and I wrote a bunch of OC stuff in the 2012 era, and I think one of my very first ones was a Thor x OC that might even still be on ff.net.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

Oh fuck. Uh. C'mon, man, this is like asking me to choose a favorite child. Shit. Um. I don't know if it's my favorite, but They Told Me I Couldn't Bag A Jedi was a lot of fucking fun to work on.

I think I'm gonna tag @ferretrade @goddammitjim @shootingstarpilot @bluemaskedkarma @brigittttoo

[girlwithakiwi]

20 Questions For Fic Writers

Tagged by @elder-flower

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

32 (20 are user-locked)

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

1,238,164

3. What fandoms do you write for?

For the past five years, it has been iterations of A Song of Ice and Fire (the book canon, Game of Thrones, and House of the Dragon). Prior to that, I've written fics for Sailor Moon, Gundam Wing, Kingdom Hearts, Fushigi Yuugi, High School Musical, RENT, The Dresden Files, Harry Potter, Glee, and BBC Sherlock.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the gather, the bend, the bringing forth (Game of Thrones S8 canon divergence)

some nights the lighthouse, some nights the sea (transatlanticism) (Game of Thrones S7 canon divergence)

the silhouette of a single memory (Game of Thrones reincarnation AU)

all the ground beneath with tears and blood (Game of Thrones/The Vampires Diaries fusion)

where ruin also exists (A Song of Ice and Fire, post-ADWD)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Even before I started writing in the ASOIAF fandom, I did tend to write bittersweet endings. Loss and grief is a fascinating frame of reference for an otherwise happy ending and I've always liked being able to write about those conflicting emotions. That said, it was probably never let me go.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Haha, lmao—this is definitely the silhouette of a single memory and its adjoining prompt ficlets.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

My canon divergent fics for Game of Thrones sometimes get the rare grumpy butt but honestly, I pay too much in taxes to be bothered by someone trying to be snide behind the anonymity of a computer screen.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Sure? I think my smut is pretty tame compared to a lot of stuff I read but I do write it.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Yes, I've written plenty. Sailor Moon/Gundam Wing and Game of Thrones/The Vampire Diaries might be the craziest though, considering how ridiculously dissimilar the two canon sources are.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

the gather, the bend, the bringing forth has its beginning chapters translated into Russian here

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes and no. My old RP partner @lyrangalia and I used to email RP during slow days at work and through that was born the AMD and Silvered Lightning universes. But since these technically never started as fic, then it's kind of in that weird uncategorized space.

14. What’s your all time favourite ship?

All time? I'm not sure if I have a single one that takes the top spot. I've liked Tomberly (MMPR), Willabeth (POTC), Neal/Sara (White Collar), Parker/Eliot/Hardison (Leverage), and Jonerys (ASOIAF) but I love them all equally.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Hands down, Arcana. The reason I won't finish it is because I fell out of love with the source material (it didn't age well) and the author of said source material (he's kind of an asshole!). I do still love the character that this fic revolves around and it's removed enough from the source material that I could finish it but...

16. What are your writing strengths?

Characterization and dialogue, probably? Who knows.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Characterization and dialogue, lmao.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Eh. It can be done and I've done it a few times honestly. I don't make a habit of it because it's just a bit of a headache to translate.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Sailor Moon.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written?

Based on re-readability? a silhouette of a single memory and where ruin also exists

No pressure tags: @jellybeanficwriter @moondancer71 @zavocado @kiaxet @luthien-under-bough @calenlily

[bekala]

20 Questions for Writers

@noxnthea tagged me so here we are.

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 18

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

555,722 more than I expected. It's gonna get higher!

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Almost exclusively Marvel, but I have two Sons of Anarchy fics that I brought over from my FanFiction.net account way back when and there's more over there.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Order of Operations (Darcy/Bucky; E), biologically, but not conceptually (Darcy/Bucky; T), Trust in Motion (Darcy/Bucky; M), Lessons in Avoidance: Or How Darcy Lewis Learned to Have Feelings (Darcy/Clint; E), a haunting (Darcy/Bucky; T)

5. Do you respond to comments?

I try to reply to all of them. Talking to readers in the comments of one of my absolute favorite things about posting fics.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

An Unsealed Fate (E)

Is an AU one shot Bucky/Clint/Nat based the night before a battle in a world inspired by the show Carnival Row. All the characters are having this bittersweet moment of expressing their love for each other and not saying goodbye as they prepare to fight for freedom at dawn the next day.

“We don’t say goodbye before we part,” Clint continues as his fingers finish the last button and he starts to tug Bucky’s trousers and pants over his hips, “we don’t seal a fate until all other paths are closed to us.” 

“He’s right,” Nat says and when Bucky turns his head again she’s so close he can make out the gold stars around her irises, the only outward sign of the immense power hiding under her skin, “don’t tempt fate. What will come will come but we have now and we’re going to celebrate it with you.”

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Almost everything tends to have happy endings in one way or another! I write fic as an escape so even though I like to let some angst in I like to wrap it up with a happy ending.

That said, the most stereotypical happy ending I have is probably, It's Quite Inconvenient. This is a Darcy/Bucky Regency AU comedy of errors, and it ends on a very happy note!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not usually, fingers crossed it doesn't start! I love my fandom community like crazy!!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Yep. The kind I want to read.

10. Do you write crossovers?

I don't know that I've written any crossovers but I've written a number of AUs.

11. Are any of your fics converted into podfics?

No, but I'd be excited about it if they were.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not technically, but I work so closely with @noxnthea on so many of my fics they might as well be co-written - or at least co-loved/co-plotted/co-agonizedover. The running joke is she's the fairy god-mother (and superstar beta) to everything I put out. I don't think any of it would make it public without her!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I don't know that I could pick.

I love writing Darcy/Bucky.

I'll read almost anything though - I write almost exclusively Marvel but my reading tastes extend well beyond the Marvel fandom.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Too many to talk about.

The one I really think won't ever get finished though is a daemon AU that's got about 50k words and is Clint Barton centric. I love it so much but it just never fell into a strong final plot unfortunately. It's also in present tense, which I don't write anymore so it would be SO hard to pick back up - BUT, god, when I go back and reread it sometimes do I just love it so much.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I'm pretty good at action sequences, banter, and pacing?

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I am really trying to work on getting better at complex plot development and suspense. I also want to get better building a more complex vocabulary to improve my diction.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I do this. I don't mind when others do it.

I think it's best when done sparingly and with a sensitivity to the fact that you don't speak the language. I prefer when it's done in a way that the dialouge is not important to the scene. Or if it is, I think it's really cool when the translation is provided contextually rather than in notes later on. That said, I've seen it done really well both ways!

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Tamora Pierce - on an account that doesn't exist anymore. I have been in fanfic for A LONG time. Like, the first fanfic I ever read was printed out and handed to me in the hallway of my middle school when the internet still made screeching noises as it connected.

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh, um - I think I've answered this before, but I'd probably have to say: Order of Operations - I am in love with this universe and still writing sequels and follow ups. I think it just came to me during a really difficult time, which is still in progress, and it's become a comfort to just sink into it and share with the community.

It's been so much fun!

tagging -- anyone who sees this and wants to do it!

@shireness-says maybe??

[campingwiththecharmings]

20 Questions for 20 Writers

thank you for the tags @virtie333 and @runa-falls 💖💖

(it looks like there are two sets of questions lol i'm confused. maybe i'll just choose the 20 i like 😆)

How many works do you have?

oh jeez. on AO3 there are 61, on FF.Net there are 13 (l o l), and on Tumblr there are 65.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

227,871

3. What fandoms do you write for?

oscar these days, but i've written for a few different fandoms over the years.

4. What are your top 5 fics by notes?

Another (Miguel x Reader - SMUT) Thaw (Miguel x Reader - SMUT) Wasted on You (Poe x Reader - SMUT) Morning (Poe x Reader - SMUT) Rich Girl (Jake x Reader - SMUT)

5. Do you respond to comments?

yes! or, at least i try to. sometimes tumblr doesn't notify me of reblogs for whatever reason tho and it takes a minute.

6. Who (or what) is your writing inspiration?

i think it's pretty clear from my blog that it's oscar as;dksl;fkgl lmao. if you'd like specifics tho: i started writing again after seeing the ads for dune (which ironically, i still have not watched a;sldkl;fk;sdlf). those ads made me rewatch the star wars sequels, and doing that made me wanna write my own poe fic and...well, here we are now lol.

7. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

i don't write much angst unless there's a happy ending tbh lol. off the top of my head it's either part two of Just Friends or Out of Time.

8. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i mean, happy endings feature in most of my fics lol. ummmmm....the one that comes immediately to mind is Invisible String tho, so let's say that one.

9. Do you get hate on fics?

i don't think so? if i have, i've blocked it out 😆

10. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i do, indeed. what kind? ....the smutty kind? lol what do you mean by this, sorry.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

lol no, i'm not popular enough for that 😆

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

unless you count those times i've gone back and forth with people on posts, no lol. i'm not against them or anything, it's just that no one's ever asked 😆 tbh tho, i'd be the worst person to write something with. i procrastinate SO MUCH.

14. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

to read or to write? if it's to write, captain swan is technically the only ship i've written for. if it's to read....honestly? probably dramione.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

lmaoooooooooooooooo all of them??? no but fr....maybe my old CS fic bulletproof. there's no urgency to finish bc no one is reading it (no one read it when the fandom was active either lol). i do wanna finish it someday tho, if only for myself. i have it planned out and everything i just struggle to write it whenever i've sat down and tried. SOMEDAY, DAMN IT. SOMEDAY.

16. What are your writing strengths?

lol shit idk. i've been told that my smut is both sexy and sweet so maybe that? 🤷‍♀️

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

i have trouble ending a fic sometimes tbh. most of the time, the scene in my head is so clear and there's no issues, but others i just have no idea where to stop and so sometimes my shit just like ends lol. also summaries and coming up with titles, if that counts.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i think the effort should be made if the character is from a particular culture, especially if they've been shown speaking another language in whatever media they're from.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

pokemon lol

20. Favorite fics you’ve written?

A Sunday Kind of Love (Poe x Reader - SMUT) Never Have I Ever (Poe x Reader) Sugar (Santi x Reader) Night Moves / Good Neighbors (Santi x Reader - SMUT) Safe Haven (Marc x Reader)

please feel free to check out my masterlist for more (if you're interested), i have all of my faves marked. 😊

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tagging whoever wants to do this bc idk who has (ik that's always my excuse, i'm sorry ;-;). PLEASE feel free to tag me if you decide to do this!! i wanna add more fics to my reading list!

[gggeeeeen]

Alive and Kicking at 2024

May 21, 2024

HAHAHHHAH hello. Been contemplating alot recently, well not really. lol. To recap the things that happened from my last post in 2022.

I've been heartbroken - I think I started this page because of that heartache. Yet again, I'm only inspired to write when I'm in deep shit. lol

I've been attached to a new man

In love

Moved out from Marikina

Lived with a man

Found out that I've been cheated on, well not technically I believe, for my peace of mind. lol

Resigned from my 9 long years in Globe

Started a resin jewelry business (Jewel Rae)

Got hired in a fully remote, night shift work (SGS & Co.)

Rented a shelf at a concept store for Jewel Rae

Celebrated my 1 year anniversary with the man mentioned above

Celebrated my 1 year work anniversary at SGS & Co.

Had FTI property renovated (Right house at the back)

Been going to the gym regularly for about a year - I was going before but not regularly

Been in a shit load of debt (because of the renovation) and is still paying it

I guess that's it? Now , my main goal I guess is to be rich as fuck. I've been looking in jobstreet for jobs that pays WELL and I've just submitted a resume yesterday. PRAYIINGGGG that I be accepted, work is easy, manageable and lord please give me strength to learn and adapt. I'm already claiming it. PLEASE. I really need the money.

Di ako sanay ng may utang and I want to be able to pay it all off na please. I'm tired of being broke all the time. I get penalty becuase below minimum minsan yung laman ng bank ko. I can't go out and meet with friends kasi super budget. I can't even go out of town anymore.

I'm helping ate baji din pala renovate Cityland 8 condo. Met up with Rico and ate Lian last Sunday to check out the place. This is in return of the loan I got from her when I was short while having FTI fixed.

ANYWAAYYY, I do hope I can keep this up kahit at least once a week, if not everyday, or every other day. Just write whatever. Be aligned and get to know myself more in the process.

[boolger]

i was tagged by the sweet @rosieblogstuff !!<3 anyone who wants to answer this too, consider this your tag 🫡💖

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 53! Somehow, haha. Once I'm done w thesis, it will grow for sure!

2. What's your total AO3 word count?

608,326 words! 😳 i stresswrite

3. What fandoms do you write for?

right now its only Macgyver(2016) and Call of Duty! I've made a marvel crossover, but not anything else. Once I'm done with uni and actually have the time to write and see shows without feeling like I should be doing other stuff, I will definitely write for more! I want to write something for stuff like Knives out, Phantom of the Opera, Star wars -- but mainly a ton of Macgyver and call of duty, lol

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? well, they've changed quite recently, since i jumped headfirst into the COD fandom and was welcomed very nicely! So, right now, theyre:

Adventures of 141's bunny (1,502 kudos😳😳)- Call of Duty

Mami's omega (448 kudos) - Call of Duty

The Heron Club (363 kudos) - Call of Duty

Warm water (150 kudos) - Macgyver

A pregnant night (144 kudos) - Macgyver

Im very grateful for each single kudos !!💖🥰

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, or I try now! It was easier when I was only in the macgyver fandom, since it is much smaller, but now in the Call of Duty fandom, i'm afraid I simply cannot keep up! So if I don’t reply to your comment, I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be rude or anything!👉👈

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

phew, that is one good question, because I honestly don't know. I have a tendency to end things either happy and hopeful like, or dark and like, with the vibe of things just being uncertain but not necersarily angsty? Lmk if im wrong lmao. I think the closest is in A dog needs a garden, but then again, its not really angsty - at least not to the characters. just... dark.🤷‍♀️

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

hm. I mean, in my two fics Sir and his good boy and my baby’s got a gun (that I struggle to read myself now bc while I do have a soft spot for them, I hate my writing lol.) I make poor Mac go through a lot of shit, and they both end up on a happy or hopeful note- so those two, I guess? For now, heh.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

mmm, not really. When I do get some questionable comments, I either just answer in a jokingly manner or ignore it. I think I've only deleted one comment, lol. 💀

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

hah, YES. what don't I write. Despite being ace and not really being interested in sex irl, I sure do write a lot of smutty smut. I mostly write kinky stuff, a lot of BDSM ones. A lot of darker stuff too. I mean, out of 53 fics I think maybe 13 ish of them doesn’t have smut in them? So yeah, I write a bunch of smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

Well, I've only written three (so far) lol. Two of them was just... Angus Macgyver and Jack Dalton having a threesome with a character from a different fandom, LMAO. I've written them having a threesome with Bucky Barnes from marvel and then one with Simon Ghost Riley from Call of Duty. The craziest one technically isn’t a crossover lmao, more just the fact that I made twilight vampires canon in a Macgyver fic I wrote once 💀😂 it’s called this is the skin of a killer, Jack and yes, I find it funny and stupid myself.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I hope not, lol. So no, at least not that I know of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Uh, no, again, not that I know of, lmao.👀

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Mmm, not technically, no. I don't talk often with a lot of fanfic writers, (im shy and idk how to become friends with people) but I do have 2 wonderful sweet friends I met through the macgyver fandom, whom i'm very grateful for and love lots. (They adopted my imposter ass who hadn’t even seen the show) They have managed to deal w my annoying ass for like... almost 2 years, I think and somehow isn't scared away yet. So, what I was going with that is, no, i've not co-written anything, but they do spar a lot with me and we discuss ideas and such, hehe. They've def helped me with a lot of fics.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

That is one good question that I honestly don't know the answer of. I'm pretty open to most ships, as long as they're written well in the fic or the show. (and legal. and not *ncest or pseudo *ncest.)

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

don't call me out like this, I have a lot of WIPS. But honestly? Probably Wet footprints on the wooden floor (Macgyver). A part of me wants to, but its been like 1,5year or so, i think. At this point I would probably just delete it, then rewrite the entire thing and post it again, lol, because I do like the concept.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I don't know, actually. I like to think I write somewhat interesting plots whenever I'm trying not to just write pure smut. But eh, idk. I think I have an okay sense of humor too? but I am also biased.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Weird sentences! English isn't my first language, Danish is! and the structure of a sentence can be very different in Danish, so sometimes my English sentences ends up weird bc they're translated, lol. I'm working on it and I have definitely become better ver since writing my first fanfic, lol.🤷‍♀️

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I like to read it, but I struggle with writing it! It's hard, especially when you dont speak a certain language. I sometimes go with google translate, but I've tried just writing it like this when its in another language, lol. so ye, fun but hard.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Eh, i mean, I wrote a fanfic or two when I was like 15 or something, but I cannot, for the life of me, remember what for. probably marvel or twilight or something😂

If we go with the boolger account time-line, then it's Macgyver!

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

don't make me choose between my babies. So I shall cheat the system and mention some of my fav.

The many deaths of a phoenix(macgyver), since I like the plot ideas lol, even though I feel stuck with it atm.

Lovers in the garden of Eden (macgyver) (dead dove dont eat) which is def fucked up, not the worst kind I've written but still. It has a special place in my dark, f'ed up heart. 🖤

Do you think I'm broken? (macgyver) bc I tried to voice a lot of my own gender struggles through it lol.

and finally, i am a lil proud of So long as I'm your favorite toy(COD) heh.

[respectable-username]

Tag Game

First time I've been tagged in one of these tag game things, so please forgive me if I do this wrong. Thanks @tardis-stowaway for tagging me!

3 Ships: Ed/Stede (Our Flag Means Death, no S2 spoilers please!), Yumikuri (Krista/Ymir from Attack on Titan), and Ineffable Husbands (Crowley/Aziraphael from Good Omens, specifically S1). The question wasn't specific so I went with the three ships I was most impacted by, ignoring the ones from a certain fandom that's anti-ship cos I don't wanna go there

First Ever Ship: That I properly got into? Ineffable Husbands. Which yes, seems fairly recent compared to my history in fandom, but I think I had to figure out some stuff about myself before I could properly get into shipping at all

Last Song: "Still Not Ginger" by Chameleon Circuit. Re-listened to the whole "Still Got Legs" album again the other night for the first time in many years and it's honestly just. So good!

Currently reading: Technically re-reading "The Rook" by Daniel O'Malley, but has been a few weeks since I actually opened it and read anything...

Currently Watching: VLDL's Adventures of Azerim D&D actual play series. They're just little goofball bastards! Is there any VLDL fandom here on Tumblr? I should probably look into that after posting this post... Either way, I miss weekly episodic TV series, so this kinda fills that gap in my life.

Currently Consuming: Water, cos I'm procrastinating making dinner 😅

Currently Craving: My scheduled break over the upcoming holiday period! Please world I need energy to do things not related to a job for a little while

And because it's been so long since I've been properly on Tumblr and so don't know who's still around, will also take the easy way out and make the 9 people I tag be the last 9 people to have interacted with my blog. Well, the last 9 people who Tumblr can manage to find as I try @ them (Tumblr really struggling with this today 😅)

Completely up to each of you wether you do it or not, absolutely no pressure! And those not tagged, please feel free to do it too!

@krazykupcake1121 @canadiankakashi @caddied @centuries-of-thoughts @thatone-highlighter @redwinterroses @philosofish @hell-nether @bimollymauks