#welcome to the hyperfixation of the month. they're pretty

[spellboundcities]

good god those blocks can game

[i-study-anons]

Hello, Tumblr users and Anons! I am Dr. Oren Sulien, and welcome to my SCP RP blog that is definitely just an RP blog because the SCP Foundation totally isn't real!

I'm here for the very first research project that I personally have been put in charge of: Studying SCP-8947, commonly referred to as "Anon(s)". So please, Anons, by all means, send in as many asks as you would like! Every single ask sent to this blog WILL be answered.

Oh, and I suppose it is also important that I introduce my current assistant, D-9983, who will be answering any asks that may be harmful to the answerer.

Blog Rules and such under the cut!

((OOC for this blog will be in double parentheses like this. Also, hi! You can call me Rii, and my pronouns are they/he. I'll introduce myself more properly at the end of the post. Oh, also everything below the cut on this post is OOC despite the lack of parentheses.))

RULES:

- No outright NSFW. Suggestive is fine, but nothing explicit.

- I don't do chain asks. They're exhausting and come off as pretty meaningless to me.

- Asks that sign off with an @ will not count as anon asks. This is because asks cannot be sent from sideblogs. Any asks sent as Oren or the assistant will be on anon and signed of with "- @i-study-anons"

- Don't be homophobic or racist or transphobic or any of that nasty stuff. I don't want that here

- I WILL RP with non-gimmicks

- I am RPing as a character running a Tumblr blog, hence the lack of actions or anything else that isn't dialogue. However, there are exceptions*

- If you have a question for ME and NOT Oren or the current Assistant, PLEASE SPECIFY that the ask is meant to be answered OOC!

- Be nice and polite when interacting with me OOC

*If another blog that has been deemed anomalous does an action that affects Oren or the current D-Class (ex. punching one of them in the face), the affected character will also end up having actions for the rest of that interaction as a result.

TAGS:

#Posted by Researcher - posts made by Oren

#Posted by Assistant - posts made by the current assistant

#Posted by OOC - OOC posts

#OOC reblog - mostly stuff to ask from RP/Writing meme blogs, self explanatory

#in character reblog - posts that Oren would decide to reblog (and did decide to reblog)

#someone to study! - anons, both from asks here and looking at anon asks on other blogs

#ordinary ask - non-anonymous asks

#other anomalies - post pertaining to anomalies other than the Anons

DIRECTORY TO OTHER IMPORTANT POSTS:

-List of anomalies (and staff!) involved with this blog

-Character Info

-Current File on Anons/SCP-8947 (coming soon)

OOC INFO:

You can call me Riiviir or Rii. I'm transmasc, almost 18, and my pronouns are they/he. I'm also autistic and have ADHD, both of which might be accidentally self projected onto any character I write. (I am not comfortable sharing my actual birthday, so if you want to wish me happy birthday, do it on September 15th, since that's the middle of my birth month.)

My current hyperfixations are Animal Crossing and Cult Of The Lamb, and my special interest is sound and audio. This is my first serious RP blog here, but I have been RPing outside of Tumblr for about 7 or 8 years. (I don't know when exactly when I started, but it's something around that. This has been a hobby of mine for awhile.)

Aside from RP, I also like drawing, songwriting, and probably any other sort of creative art. I'm also working on learning RPG Maker so I can make my own game!

[errorryx]

I've been listening to so many female artists lately, it's gotten to the point where they're consistently outnumbering male artists in my playlists. It's an incredible feeling to have successfully re-centered my focus and appreciation on women instead of men, and I wish everyone could feel this kind of joy. So I'm gonna try to do something about it.

If you're into music, I'd really love it if you took the time to reblog this post with your favorite female artists/female-led bands in the tags, comments, additions to the main post, whatever you want. I want the notes to be a resource for people to find new music if they don't know where to start. Most of us have probably listened to Mitski or Florence before (though I love both of those artists, don't get me wrong), so I'd love to hear about some lesser-known musicians. I don't know if this post will take off, but I really hope it does!

A small selection of my personal recommendations:

The Narcotix: they're an incredibly talented and criminally underrated duo. I shout their music out every chance I get because I've never heard anything else like it and I think everyone should give them a chance. They make complex, beautifully orchestrated music, described by their website as psychedelic art-rock. I think folk music fans would probably eat this up.

Thao: formerly of Thao & The Get Down Stay Down, she was the subject of an intense hyperfixation of mine last year. She started out doing Appalachian folk-rock and pivoted into indie music with some more electronic elements. I love her to death and it's hard to condense that adoration into a brief summary, but suffice it to say she's an amazing musician.

Japanese Breakfast: I think she's pretty popular actually, but I need everybody to hear the above song. It's been driving me crazy for months now. She's got a very distinctive way of climbing up to high notes that just sounds heavenly, and it really shines through on this track. (If you're more into bouncy pop music, check out her song Be Sweet, you'll love it.)

If you're looking for more specific recommendations anywhere in the realm of indie, rock, or folk music, please don't be afraid to send me an ask or a message! Let me know what you're already listening to and I'll do my best to throw you something I think you'll like. And if you're thinking of adding your own recommendations, don't limit yourself to those genres just because it's what I happen to like. All types of music are welcome.

[playingwiththetennisgrownups]

Do you honestly think Sinner and Alcaraz (or any tennis players) are madly in love or fucking like bunnies? That's weird, their just kids!

Wow. WOW. But hey, I did say anything on anon so sure, that's your prerogative.

OK so honestly no, no I don't. I fell in love with both of their tennis playing this year (I've been watching tennis since the mid-80s), and then somewhere around Wimbledon the ADHD went 'oooh new hyperfixation' (there's another long post brewing actually about it might be a lifelong suppressed special interest) I felt like I was being super annoying to my partner and all my friends and went 'oh huh I wonder if there's a tennis fandom on Tumblr', and lo, there was a tennis fandom

There were people loving Sinner and Alcaraz and Federer and Nadal and Shelton and being excited and geeking out over the games. And there were slashers. Now, I'm a slasher. I have been writing fanfiction since I was a pre-teen, I have been writing slash fanfiction since my teens, and I have been posting said fanfiction online since my late teens. We're talking the 90s here people. (proud owner of an Anne Rice C&D dontcha know?) I've also been in as many, if not more, RPS fandoms than FPS ones. It's a hobby, I enjoy it. (There's only been maybe 2 RPS fandoms in all that time I actually believed in. Sincaraz is not one of them (although the more time I spend in fandom, the less sure I am about not believing the Fedal!) - but seriously, allow me to talk about how I do believe the Jack/Daniel and McShep or the Hardison/Parker/Eliot)

And so I was curious and I went onto AO3. I was... legit quite shocked by the amount of fic. I wasn't expecting it. I started reading. It was a lot of fun. My muse, Bob!, he is a fickle creature and he likes the pretty. He's decided Jannik and Carlos are his current pretty he wants to play with. I've written and posted more fic in the last two weeks than I have in months and THAT feels fantastic.

Although, having said that, I'm not actually physically/sexually attracted to either of them. You know why? Because they are literally over half my age. I think Jannik is cute as fuck and I'm currently at 'would kill to protect', I think Carlos has a... conventionally attractive physique and I do appreciate good strong shoulders/upper arms. I legit feel kinda dirty at times. But it's nothing more than 'aesthetically attractive', there's no... anything else. If nothing else, I'm queer so there's that! (There's a whole 'nother long post planned about being demi/ace, levels of aesthetically pleasing/pretty/attractiveness and what they mean).

TL;DR no, I don't think they're fucking, I adore them both as tennis players and people, I am loving the fandom around them, slash fanfic is fun. *gives all the love to the tennisblr, jannikblr and sincaraz peeps who've graciously welcomed me to the party over the last couple of weeks*

[skyfallscotland]

Hiii me again! I, too, have questions for the ask game 🍓🦋🥤

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

I feel like it's redundant to keep saying the same ones, but *whispers* storm in the quiet @justallihere and Political Gain @sarahwyland

But also, in terms of underrated, I just read a little series by Ramzes called The Unseen One, furthering the Sloane/Bodhi agenda (🙏🏼 the lord’s work) and I've also enjoyed The Princess Gambit by JuliLyng so far as well, which is Xaden/OC. Not sure if they have tumblr, but if they're here, hi! 👋🏼

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction? 

So I've always been a reader/writer, since as far back as I can remember (maybe three years old?), I'm pretty sure with the knowledge I have now that I'm hyperlexic.

I'm old enough to have been around for dial-up internet, but when I was a preteen, we got broadband (showing my age). This is to say, don't judge my parents too harshly because internet safety was not a thing back then, but...

I found fanfiction because back then, a lot of people either used livejournal or hosted their own sites, so a lot of fansites, had fanfiction. So while looking at Buffy fansites, I stumbled across Buffy fanfiction and realised I could actually read stories!!! so many stories!! where Buffy and Spike got together earlier or things didn't end tragically for them. So yeah, at 11 I was reading very explicit Spuffy smut on the internet 🫢 I had a system set up where I would play The Sims all day or do school project powerpoints, except I was really reading fanfic and I would flick between screens whenever my parents entered the room.

My mum now has KU and reads dark romance every day, so I guess she comes by it honestly (and yes, I did mean it that way around, I was here first!) 😂

Anyway, when I was 12 I started publishing my first few fanfics on ffnet - Lord of the Rings, Pirates of the Caribbean, and a Harry Potter/X-Men Crossover. Each originally written on paper, they were all ridiculously bad, but the latter had people interested enough despite the writing, which encouraged me to try again later down the line with The Vampire Diaries and Jurassic World. I hadn't written for almost ten years and had never finished anything much until last year, by chance, I decided to finally get back into reading actual books and picked up ACOTAR. I finished the series within a week and I was left like?? That's it????

The archive had such a small number of works, I couldn't believe it, so I decided to write my own. I wrote Fury and Siren over the course of three months. I wasn't game to post anything in case I didn't finish it, because I'd never finished anything before. I also put off starting this little book I'd bought 'Fourth Wing' by three months, because I knew I'd be sucked in and would lose the hyperfixation I had, so I forced myself to finish Siren first. And now you all know my life story lol omg I'm so embarrassing to myself 🫠

TLDR: internet

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately 

Honestly, this is kind of angsty, but this last week I’ve thought a lot about male-dominated fandom spaces and how we’re not welcome in them. We, meaning everyone who isn’t a straight, cis, white male. The Formula 1 community on here seems a little better, probably because it’s female-led, but everywhere else I can’t even look at the comments.

To be honest, I’m tired of being told I don’t belong, or that my opinion means nothing because I’m female. I grew up in a motorsport family, my earliest memories are at racetracks, but men on the internet would have you believe I’m only interested because of what the drivers look like. It’s just…tiring. Those fandom spaces have become a no-go zone for me now, because it just isn’t worth it. We live in a time where no matter what you say someone will attack you which is sad in itself, but it’s so much worse when you’re a woman commenting on a “man’s sport”, not to mention endlessly frustrating because they’re too stupid to tell the difference between equity and equality.

🦋 On a larger note, Palestine. I don’t think more than that needs saying. It hurts my heart.

[chartreuseian]

11, 39, 40, 55, and 65 for the get to know your fic writer! 😊

Ooooh thank you 🥰

11. Link your three favorite fics right now

(a little bit of a cheat but it's the truth) Hugs in Cups series by @ladyelysandra

The Score by Akamaimom (don't know if you're on here, sorry!!)

And, of course Enigmatic Confections!

Honestly, this list was haaaaaard to come up with. Honourable mentions have to go to In the Nice Part of Town & Hapax Legomenon (from @tinknevertalks) and Time Will Tell (by @galactic-pirates) because I haven't re-read them recently, but they're certainly in high rotation for me!

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

"You are notoriously difficult to buy for," John offered. "We thought this would appeal more than a pretty new bauble to wear around your neck." James made an affronted noise. "What's all this 'we' business?" he cried. "You were set on getting her yet another set of first editions." "Ridiculous," John scoffed. "It was merely a suggestion."  "You'd already withdrawn the funds," James cried. "I intercepted you mere hours before you were to make the purchase!" "As the gift in question," Nikola put in, holding Helen more tightly still, "I do rather feel like my contribution to said surprise is being overlooked." “Thank you,” Helen put in quickly, shooting the other two a look as she grasped Nikola’s shoulder more tightly. Their mouths all, thankfully, closed. “All of you. This is a most welcome birthday surprise and I promise to demonstrate said gratitude in due course.”

From 'A Lesson in Love: An exercise in compassion (returned)

40. If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

Oh man... Any of them? This has never happened for me so I'd be so over the moon for literally anything! The scenes that comes to mind are the ones I've written most recently (Helen and Nikola making out while getting paint everywhere) and the final chapter of train fic (wedding number three) but none of those are published yet so I don't think people will know what I'm on about 😅

55. Of the characters you write for, which is your favorite? Has that choice been swayed at all by your followers/readers’ reactions to certain ones?

In terms of perspective, Nikola easily. I find his voice easiest to find and, honestly, more fun than most. No one has ever said anything to me about which perspective they prefer so its totally just a personal thing.

65. Tell us about what you’re most looking forward to writing – in your current project, or a future project

Ooooh well, my current hyperfixation is a modern AU idea. It's not even close to being a complete story but I wrote about 34k for it last month and I'm finding myself more and more convinced that it will eventually get finished.

The whole idea is that Helen and Nikola met back at university, but then fell out of touch for a decade. When they reconnect, a lot is different but also, a lot is not. It's fun because I'm writing both eras and I get to play with ways to make them 'grow up' over the course of the story.

And, despite my answer to the previous question, I'm trying to do it all from Helen's perspective (which is a massive challenge for me beacuse it doesn't come easily) with only a few outtakes from Nikola. I'm not normally this consistent with perspective so it's an interesting exercise.

[primumincaelo]

about the mun!

Name: i go by Dust! Age: 26, almost 27 Pronouns: he/they Sexuality: gay-ace Single Or Taken: single and a lil unsure about the mingle Hobbies: doodling, writing, cosplay... i also participate in a rocky horror shadowcast group and that's been really fun! Favourite Colour: probably purple tbh? Fandoms: ― Current: uhhhhhh hahaha mostly just hazbin hotel these days, my audhd ass is hyperfixated babey ― Past: oh boy there's a lot. good omens, south park, adventure time, stranger things, gravity falls, steam powered giraffe, welcome to night vale, camp here & there, homestuck, nbc hannibal, doctor who, sally face..... there's still more but i'll stop there easfrgth Other Blogs: my main is onhigh (canon div angel dust), i also have disventura (hazbin au wednesday addams), clawtender (sinner oc; blog is still kinda wip efsrdgth), incisura (fallen exterminator oc; low activity), and then i'm working on a super secret trio muse blog for my heavenly muses (which includes st peter - currently at pearlkeep until the mini mumu is done!). i also have a multimedia mumu, dustified, but since hazbin has consumed my brain i haven't really used it much. Favourite TV Show: hazbin prolly atm Do You Cosplay?: ABSOLUTELY I DO i've been doing it for like 12 years. i'm in the process of putting together luci and adam, plus i've cosplayed angel before! Favorite Media: i dont entire get this question? uh... i like watching youtube a lot? Favourite Book: i don't really read all that much? i've recently started house of leaves, it's been pretty good so far Favourite Band: i'm here to post Detour North propaganda (i'm actually, genuinely friends with the singer, we were in high school theater together). technically they're not together anymore but their music still goes fucking hard. also huge fan of will wood/wwatt, waterparks, calypso, front bottoms/flat stanleys, flatsound, hozier, ricky montgomery, tally hall/miracle musical, ghost, chonny jash.... again there's a lot here, i'll stop before i make this too long Favourite Movie: bright young things from 2003. i can't remember when i came across it but it's been a comfort movie since i first watched it Do You Have Pets?: we have a black cat named wednesday! she's still a junior, only about 2 years old i think, she's a stupid lil thing there's not a thought in that head Favourite Animal: opossums or raccoons i think :3 Do You Play Any Instruments?: i took piano lessons from grade 6 up until i graduated high school, i took a couple months of violin lessons, and i can kinda pluck at a ukulele, but i'm by no means extremely good at any of them lmao Favourite Hellaverse Character(s): hhhhh lucifer and adam. no hesitation. i thought when i came back i'd be right back to angel dust? nope. lucifer and adam come in and sweep up the title like it's candy from a baby

tagged by: @brokendreamscreation (ty!!) tagging: uhhhhhhhhhh you <3

[nanoa1foryou]

Tagged by @glamorousdrama <3 <3

Star sign: One of them.

Favorite holiday: Idk man. World children's day. Or women's day. Those are pretty dope.

Last meal: Vegetable noodle stir fry. Unfortunately it didn't turn out as great as the one I made before with chicken.

Current favorite musician: Currently? Käärijä, with Bess as a close second.

Last music listened to: Riivattu by Bess is in my head right now so I guess we'll go with that. I may have ended my cooking session on Portrait of a Blank Slate by Lovejoy.

Last movie watched: Pirates of the carribean 3: at world's end. I suggested pirates, sister suggested the third one. A team effort on that.

Last TV show watched: Hannibal. Finished it and then watched the first episode again.

Last book/fic finished: Hot damn, haven't finished anything in a while. Most likely some fic, but I'm pretty sure out of books it is some social work theory book. Wish I had time to read more of those, they're really interesting, especially anything from a multicultural perspective.

Last book/fic abandoned: Any of my academic books really. Just no time to finish any of it.

Currently reading: Still going strong on Nabokov's Lolita (have not read a page in months). Also started up on the tenth book in the Fazbear frights series. Friendly Face is promising but I'm scared (hah) something bad will happen to the cat, so I am mentally preparing myself.

Last thing researched for writing/art/hyperfixation: I spent like good while looking at dozens of pictures and gifs of Bojan Cvjetićanin to get the curve of his eyelids right. Drawing is fun like that.

Favorite online fandom memory: I look fondly back on a lot of my fandom memories. Though nothing has had quite the same effect as this past year with the Kääryleet. I'll say the mcytsexyman brackets. That was a good time.

Wait no, I just remembered! There used to be a weekly post on the Dice Camera Action subreddit relating to the newest episode. And I just loved how engaged and wonderful and welcoming that whole fandom was. The fics, the theories, the fanart! It was such a shame to see it get so abandoned when things got tough. I've been enjoying seeing the resurgance, now that the dust has had time to settle.

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: All my old fandoms have dragged me back these past few years, from Jedward to Fnaf. What am I supposed to do now?

Honestly, I'm just waiting for mcc to pull me back in.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: Sekasin. It's such a good series, I love it to bits.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: I have a picture of Bess on my desk waiting for me to keep drawing. And then my billion other hobbies that obviously also need to be picked up. Most of all maybe the lace bed spread. Fucking forever project, that one.

Tagging: @reunalordi @isapun @zomb1edude @darkerthanblack-666 @khihi @ominousmotion

No pressure, just having fun!

[nerdnag]

Ok actually. Let's do it. Let's make a Fe3h OC.

Her name is Ezri. She fluctuates a lot between being overly social and talkative, and being super self-conscious and quiet. All of her favorite pastimes are things she can do by herself, like reading, writing and studying. She's mostly guided by her passions in life, which can change from one day or week to another.

She grew up as a commoner, but received a special invitation to join the Officer's Academy through her connection to Hanneman, who's been her mentor ever since she talked his ear off at some kind of magic conference they both attended. (He also got her into the Royal School of Sorcery a few years back.)

She's studied the F out of, like, the theory of war, just because she found it fascinating. And so she knows the intricate, theoretical details of strategy and tactics, but isn't really interested in applying that knowledge in practice.

She joins the Blue Lions at first, because she was informed they were really focused on military tactics in particular, but then she changes her mind and switches to the Black Eagles after a month or so when she gets fed up with her classmates. In BE, she finds lots of people to hyperfocus on and dissect psychologically, and also she looks up a lot to Edelgard because of her confidence, skill and ambition. Besides, the Golden Deer seem too unstructured and happy-go-lucky for her.

Everyone in BE is pretty wary of her at first, except for Ferdinand who gives her a warm welcome. She is pleasant to him at first but then quickly gets into an unspoken rivalry with him and silently grumbles to herself whenever he outshines her. She sidles up to Linhardt pretty quickly, and makes him tell her everything there is to know about Crestology, then they bond over their unwillingness to fight and their preference for studying. She tries to get close to Hubert because he intrigues her, but gives up when he learns to simply ignore her presence. Dorothea becomes her go-to for advice on relationships and social expectations, like what to to wear for an event or what to reply to a letter from someone she doesn't like. Somewhat unexpectedly, she gets along well with Petra, and although they barely ever hang out, they have a silent understanding about things. (Also Petra teaches her about swords, which is cool.) She doesn't even bother with Caspar because he is too loud and reminds her of bullies from her past, and Bernadetta makes her uncomfortable because she reminds her of the more insecure part of herself, so she avoids her as well. Eventually she earns Edelgard's respect (see more below) and that also means that Hubert (begrudingly) starts acknowledging her again.

Concerning people outside BE, she gets SUPER hyperfixated on Claude and he sort of shrugs and goes "yeah, sure, you're weird and insightful, I guess I'll keep you around". They become really good friends after a while. The Ashen Wolves intrigue her, but she freezes up whenever they're around, so she never actually gets to know any of them - except for Constance, who she absolutely despises for reasons she can't understand and will not willingly dig into. (Until years down the line.)

She has at least level D+ in every single skill, but excels in Reason and has a C in Bows because of an archery phase she once went through. Also, although she prefers to be by herself and not get bothered by others, she discovers she has a budding talent in Authority when at one point she's forced to cover for Edelgard as house leader for a few months. And that budding talent eventually unlocks a special skill called "Imposter Syndrome" which grants her the ability to deploy battalions which are 1-2 levels above her Authority level.

Her personal skill is "Follow the Dopamine". It's similar to Lysithea's, but instead of doubling experience in battle, she doubles her experience whenever she gets to engage in her current hyperfixation. She dabbles in a few different classes throughout her time in the academy, frustrating her teachers because she takes so long to choose one class. For a while she thinks she's going to be a thief, and she gets really into lockpicking at one point, but then Claude reminds her that she has a terrible pokerface and sucks at telling lies. Instead, she considers becoming a sniper, but eh, the interest dies out after a while. Dark Flier is also on the table, but she's too scared of heights. Way too late in her first year, she finally decides on becoming a Dark Bishop, and goes through this whole process of convincing Lady Rhea that she shouldn't be barred from a class just because of her gender, since she is obviously well-suited for the class, more so than Hubert even, and by the way there's this loop-hole in the rules that says---

And Lady Rhea wearily agrees. So Ezri becomes a Dark Bishop, much to Hubert's surprise. (And Ferdinand's chagrin, because now he feels compelled to argue for a female-locked class for himself. He ends up becoming a Falcon Knight as a result.)

Anyway, Edelgard eventually comes to trust and respect Ezri, which leads to her confiding in her about her plans to start a war. This makes things really complicated for Ezri, because she considers Claude to be something of a best friend at this point, but she can also admire and agree with Edelgard's views. She's always been an atheist and knows enough about Crests to understand what a bane they can be...

(To be continued, maybe.)

[hannah-heartstrings]

8 12 and 19 for the end of year asks? :D

Thanks friend! :D

8. Game of the year?

Definitely The Elder Scrolls Oblivion, I started playing it back in January and I was hyperfixated off and on all year long. For a while I wasn't able to keep a hyperfixation much longer than a month or two so I was happily surprised.

It also inspired a lot of fanfics. Speaking of...

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year

@druidx reading my writing really motivated me to keep at it, which is really important to me. And made me feel welcome in the tesblr community. Thanks, Dru, love ya!

19. What're you excited about for next year?

I'm excited to have warmer weather again.

Excited for all the art I'm going to make, and for my art to improve. I'm intent on making progress on Game Over (original story), and to get back into drawing.

But mostly I'm excited to see what this year brings, I'm going to meet new people, learn new things, come up with new ideas, and have unexpected hyperfixations, and I have no idea what they're going to be.

Usually I don't care about the new year but this time I'm feeling pretty positive! (You might be rubbing off on me, Donk. XD)

[xivanxiety]

The First Stalker (Approx March 2020 - March 2021)

Disclaimer: A presumptuous individual would like me to let anyone reading this know that neurotypical people are not evil and scary. And that this individual being on the Aut!st!c spectrum has absolutely nothing to do with his personality and behavior. You'd think that in the year 2024 most people on Tumblr dot com could come to such a conclusion, but just in case: Neurodivergent people are not evil and scary, especially people on the spectrum. Otherwise, I am not changing the wording in my story as I genuinely do not view Aut!sm in any form of negativity, much less evil and scary. However, my attitude toward any form of neurodivergence, being someone who is neurodivergent myself, is that our quirks and flaws can be influenced by our neurodivergence, no matter what it be. It can be beneficial and it can be detrimental. Do we need to be shamed for it? Nah. Can it be an explanation? Absolutely. Is it an excuse for how we treat others? Nope. I spent too much time accepting the abuse from someone who was neurodivergent, constantly excusing their behavior which was a result of their relationship with their mental health. Anyway, onto the story.

This guy was one of the first people I RP'd with on Balmung. This story will likely be short and sweet as it's your run-of-the-mill stalking tale. I have mixed feelings about this situation and individual, as they were quite self aware and otherwise a good person and probably didn't have any malicious intentions, but at the end of the day, what they were doing can be defined as stalking. They're a person on the spectrum, and as anyone familiar with Aut!sm, people on the spectrum (and 80HD) are prone to developing hyperfixations. Well... this guy had developed a hyperfixation directed toward my character. I had dabbled a tad bit in crimes, and now my character was a little more customized and how I wanted her to look and he genuinely believed that she was the most beautiful character he'd ever laid his eyes upon. But because of this infatuation with my character, I had to distance from him. Everywhere I went in the game, there he was. He just wanted to look at her. He'd just stand there, not talking to me, just... standing next to me in-game. He'd DM me occasionally telling me he just wanted to see her and flatter her.

I couldn't escape him. I'd go to the most obscure locations, and... eventually he'd show up. I put my foot down and told him that this was too much. He apologized and said he'd keep his distance. I kept him on my friends list so I could see if he was sticking to his word. However, the need was stronger than his will. He eventually told me he was going to need to unfriend me because he couldn't help himself, he needed to know where I was at all times and he just wanted to be near her. (Edit: This is where he explained to me that he is on the spectrum and why he was behaving the way he was). So, he unfriended me. I allowed him to keep talking to me on Discord.

This would be a recurring pattern for some time. I took pity on him because it was coming across as more of an addiction he couldn't help, and being familiar with hyperfixations, I knew his intentions weren't malicious. We'd go long periods without running into each other but then eventually he would spot me in the crowd or see me post in a mutual Discord server. And I'd foolishly hope maybe he'd moved on.

Nope! Every single time, right back at it. I once watched, pretending I was afk while he just stood there next to me targeting me in-game for 25 minutes and DM me about how pretty she was. It would appear he'd added me as a friend again. I once again had a talk with him about how he was crossing my boundaries. He was more than welcome to talk to me on Discord, however, constantly searching for me in-game was taking a toll on me. He respectfully backed off again.

I should have given up there and considered this guy a lost cause. More months passed and he once again spotted me in Ul'dah. He sent me a tell and asked me how I'd been and what I'd been up to. I relayed all that had been going on with me, which was a lot, and I will fill in those gasp, but the most crucial mistake I'd made was that I mentioned that I'd ended things with my RP partner. And what I also failed to mention, which in my defense it wasn't confirmed yet, but my character had already met someone else (I ended the RP partnership in December and started RPing with this person in Feb, and now it was March). At first it seemed all fine and dandy, he too was in an RP partnership. His character finally met someone. Only... a week later he sent me a tell, "Guess who's single now!" Immediate dread. I responded, "Guess who's off the market! My character met someone and they just made it official."

He did not take this well. He logged out and immediately the man started spiraling in my DMs on Discord. I'm talking dozens upon dozens of messages rapid fire going off in Discord. It took me awhile to gain the spoons to read it all, and oh boy. He started going on about how he was hoping I'd give him a chance to be my character's partner. He then started going on about how he was beginning to realize that those feelings weren't just for my character, but for me as well. He thought that he'd finally met someone who he had a true connection with. I saw nothing of the sort. I suppose if one is inexperienced, having a really supportive friend of your preferred sex might make one think such things, but not once did I ever consider him a potential partner. He was an excellent writer and I'd honestly recommend him to anyone looking for an RP partner. But we were on completely different pages. I let him down gently, telling him I simply didn't feel the same way. He was a good friend, but that's all I saw in him. He continued to spiral, filling my DMs that I quite frankly did not bother to read because I knew he was impulsively acting upon his emotions in the moment, and they were intensified by the fact that he was hyperfixating on my character.

I haven't spoken to him since, and he hasn't reached out to me. I hope he's found healthier things to focus on. I hope it's not a person or someone's character.

Potential Questions

How do you know that he was Aut!st!c and what does that have to do with anything?

I'm repeating what he said. He used it as an explanation when I approached him to talk about the issues I was having with him. If anything I feel bad because he admired me for not shaming him when he admitted he was on the spectrum and had developed a hyperfixation on my character. Otherwise, he was previously removed from communities for similar behavior. Often when people in towns saw me talking to him, they'd give me a heads up and try to warn me about him, but I wanted to give him a chance. Someone saw the first initial post of this entry and sent me a message telling me how ableist I was being for mentioning he was Aut!st!c and hyperfixated on my character as his behavior has absolutely nothing to do with him being Aut!st!c. These were his words. And there should be no shame in hyperfixation. It's an extremely common trait in people on the spectrum and with 80HD. I'd say 95% of the time it's perfectly fine, admirable even. But we cannot deny it can get unhealthy when it is directed at another person.

[ancient-reverie]

s/o to my fellow systems whose brains are just wild and will see a nice rock and make an alter. like okay brain, that's nice thank you. no idea what started us as a system, but over the years we've had many new people form and the causes are varied. this is not a full list, just a couple of experiences

i want to preface that there is nearly no way to "prove" if these are true reasons or not as is the nature of dissociation. but they FEEL right and it's our brain so we would have some idea. and it Doesn't Really Matter in the end being as what matters is that we Are Here Now.

really we made this as a list so maybe someone who needed to could relate to or laugh at one or more of the things

a lot of feelings about not being able to sing gave us a vocaloid with a broken voice

almost drowning landed us a transmasc siren

started writing a new character and oops hi pretty okay and strong girl

"i need a big brother"

some really bad shit went down in mindspace (this happened often when we were younger) and an alter or two were traumatized so write a note to wait two months and start looking for a new one but still be surprised and confused when the new one comes up anyway

some symptom got too much to handle so now it's this guys turn wait who is this guy

discovered a new song and listened to it on repeat and maladaptive daydreamed someone a new friend or child

bestie said we weren't friends no more so i'm gonna become someone who has never met bestie

We Aren't Talking About The YouTuber That We Watched Too Much Of And Used For Emotional Support Until They Showed Up And We Pulled Off A Perfect [redacted] Accent And Refuse To Speak Of Since (sorry)

uncomfortable moment you will only ever be Confused about despite being able to remember it and what was happening

every alter rotating out during the Suicidal TimesTM until there's no one else who can handle it so yOu MakE ONe and they're actually really happy for a minute and can appear to break the depressive session but very quickly realizes what they're in for and joins the rest of the Sad Club, thanks for the help buddy, sorry and welcome to the club we have weed

Bird Hyperfixation

"i need a new mom"

Vampire hyperfixation

literally just a different version of an existing alter. alternate-timeline 'if this had happened or hadn't happened' or future/older selves

you really liked this character in that show but your brain for some reason won't take the actual character. oh no it has to make its own person that is an exact mirror of that character! but it wont tell you! you have to forget all about that character until 10 years later when the alter realizes it but they're so different now you don't actually know but it probably shaped you in some way

had a slut phase on discord and the fake personality 2 of the alters used online turned into her own person

You haven't met the alter that you know exists because you asked for them to exist at the same time you heard your father cry for the first time at 27 when you all Lost a creature who the whole system considered their daughter.

people just form when the brain decides it's a good idea for us. it's been awhile since we've had a new fully fleshed out alter who has the energy and desire to be out/slots into the main group that takes care of most things. when new ones form these days (like 2.3 every 4 years) it's "quieter" people that pop up, introduce themselves, and then chill in mindspace with the rest and we don't really hear from them much.

Last we counted we have about 50 people (we counted a long time ago i'll be honest), but on a daily basis only about 3-5 people are active and it's not always through the whole day. at least 2-3 are always active. Siruss is the only one who can solo we dunno why.

our usual routine someone will be out and they'll have a co-fronter and or a couple background buddy(ies), and then the co-fronter and background people change after a week to a month, it depends on who it is. sometimes one of the background or co-fronters will swap out and be the main one for however long they can manage (depends on who it is)

but if we're leaving the house and around other people the routine is totally subject to change.

[playingwiththetennisgrownups]

OK so long post, please bear with me here.

1) When I have a hyperfixation, I (like many neurosparkly people) take any slight, perceived or otherwise, against the object of my hyperfixation incredibly personally. My hyperfixation is on Jannik himself as much as it is on tennis (I don't like admitting that LOL) so right now, I'm pretty stressed. I have no idea how he's holding it together because I am NOT. Yes, I am trying to be all manifesting positivity and not worry about something I can't control because and my therapist would be incredibly proud of me, she's been working on this with me for years. Like I legitimately feel like I've just failed a drugs test here. I feel worse than I did when I lost my job a couple of months ago.

2) I am autistic so it's possible that might be reading intent behind comments I'm seeing wrong but jokes/comments/anything about unaliving yourself and/or or perpetrating violence against sporting agencies = bad. I'm finding things I'm seeing to be very triggering. I have just had a panic attack here. Li has had to do some grounding with me. I'm still kinda crying. I have been dealing with unaliving myself ideation for over 30 years, and have attempted to do so on multiple occasions.

Jokes about unaliving yourself are not funny. If you think it's an appropriate way of expressing how upset/angry/stressed you are, it's not. If you seriously feel that way, please please please get help, please talk to someone. It doesn't have to be a professional.

This… y'all it's making me incredibly uncomfortable and triggered, and I don't use 'trigger' lightly - my partner has c-PTSD and I have many diagnosed anxiety/mental health disorders, so I never use it to mean 'oh I just don't like it', we're talking full on involuntary recall of trauma here and psychological and physiological response to said trauma.

I'm already loving tennisblr and I want to be part of the community I've found here. I absolutely do not expect anywhere online to be a safe space for me. I've been in online fandom for over 25 years, I know it's down to me to curate my online experience - and believe me, I do. So going forward, and I absolutely don't mean to flounce here because I don't want to leave, I am here for the fucking love of tennis, of Jannik, but may have to start unfollowing/block for the good of my own mental health. Which I hate because up to now, my experience of tennisblr, of Jannikblr, is pretty much full of love and acceptance and a very welcoming community. But before I go ahead and start unfollowing/blocking, I wanted to take the time to put this post out there and hope that maybe it'll make people think about what they're saying, about the impact the language that's being used can have. If you feel the need to unfollow me for saying this, I understand.

3) I'm seeing some misinformation about the appeal being spread. So, from what I've been able to ascertain, as this is an appeal case that's being put before the CaS, the process is different because there's no investigation being done by them - that's already been done by the ITIA. This is WADA saying we disagree with the outcome. WADA have submitted their appeal, Sinner's team will now/may already have submit their reply to the CaS. The CaS then decide if they're even going to accept the appeal. If they do, a hearing well be held, both parties present evidence and argue their case. Now, as this is an appeals case, this must be done WITHIN 3 months. And the verdict can be given on the day of the panel. (https://www.tas-cas.org/en/general-information/frequently-asked-questions.html)

4) I know I've used the phrase 'manifest positivity' already, both in this post and previous, but like… Tennisblr manifested the Sincaraz season slam, right?. Tennisblr is working super hard on manifesting a Sincaraz final in Beijing. So lets use our powers for good and send out the good vibes into the universe, and buoy up our boy, let him know we're behind him, we believe in him and all that. (Yeah, kinda pagan kinda hippie. I kinda am).

At the end of the day, regardless of what happens, we know he did nothing wrong!

Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk. But seriously, if you've read this far, thank you.

[devilish-parrot]

im not giving my real name but you can call me either Karl, Ryan or Oris

he/they. i dont usually have a preference. u can switch it up from one sentance to another or in the same sentance if u want, as long as you use them both

libra

1 brother. fun fact abt him; hes rlly good with lego

i dont have any pets any more. when i was like 5 i had 2 clownfish named nemo. then when i was 8 i had a rabbit named bunny but she died

my fandoms are in my pinned post. i really like tally hall and twomp atm, im really hyperfixated on them both. like ALOT

fav colours are black, blue and green. in that order

i cant choose a one favourite song so ill name a few i really like (they're all tally hall though because i havent been able to listen to anything els for weeks). The whole world and you, Welcome to tally hall, Taken for a ride, greener, You, Good day, Haiku, and The bidding

i dont have a favourite author so ill jusy tell u my favourite book: animal farm (highly recomend)

hobbies include reading, drawing, listening to music

i dont read fanfics

halloween

no partners, am single 😔 but i was doing my start of the year tarot reading recently (12 cards, one per month) and my brother was watching over, making his own skewed interpretations of the cards. he thinks im gonna get a boyfriend this month, then break up with him after he cheats on me, then ill spend my next four months plotting my revenge which ultimatly ends me up in jail... im pretty sure the card was actually reffering to me finishing my tally hall blog (more info on that below). if youre wondering, the card was xxi the world, drawn upright

ive spent the past 3 days working on a tally hall daily blog. im very proud of it but im nowhere near done. ive only gotten through 2 internet show episodes but already have posts queued up untill may. im really excited about this!!

tags (i wont tag mutuals that worm-brainzz already tagged) @confusedsnowpatch @ailill-everytime @jellyfish-fingernail @mikka-minns @milofonn @zaychik45510 @wielderofthechainsaw @thatfrogperson @theseusthetransratking @mysticlilac-ec @alex-is-a-simp-73 @felt-squirrels no pressure, u dont have to answer all the questions or any at all

I got bored so here's a little get-to-know-you tag game I think could be fun :3

Name(s)

Pronouns

Star sign

# of siblings & fun facts about them (if you have any)

# of pets & their names

Fandoms

Favorite color

Favorite song

Favorite author (of anything readable-- books, fanfics, zines, webtoons, whatever!)

Hobbies

Favorite fic type

Favorite holiday

Do you have any partner(s)? (romantic, qpp, anything!)

Fun facts about you / anything extra you wanna share!

────────

Name(s): Loki (highly preferred), Elye

Pronouns : they/them mostly, he/she okay too

Star sign: Pisces

# of siblings: I've got 2! An older sister and a younger sibling. The fun fact about them is that they're also both queer; in fact, my mom is too. The only non-queer person in my immediate family is my dad.

# of pets: 4 cats! Phoebe & Frankie are our girls, Lenny and Murray are our boys :3

Fandoms: MCU (kind of), BSD, OFMD, Ranboo (does his fanbase count as a fandom?)

Fav. color: Don't have one

Fav. song: Aurora Borealis by Lemon Demon

Fav. author: Alice Oseman

Hobbies: singing, acting, drawing, writing, procrastinating

Fav. fic type: Fluff, definitely. I am a sucker for well written coffee-shop and flower-shop aus, too. Smut's fine, but only if it's romantic. I can't do angst if there's no comfort.

Fav. Holiday: Hanukkah or Halloween! I love autumn and winter

Partners?: Yes! I have a girlfriend (queerplatonic) who I love very much, and a boyfriend (romantic) who I love very much :]

Fun facts:

- Even though I'm a cat person, I really, really want a dog.

- I actually used to play sports. Because I don't do gendered leagues anymore, I don't play, but I've been looking for mixed/gender-neutral/queer sports teams. Baseball and basketball specifically!

- I started questioning my identity in 2019; I'm no closer to finding a label now than I was then. The difference is, now I don't want a label. I just am. :]

tags: @neonganymede @cha0ticlesbian @x-chiara @exceleo @brinnybee @autistic-katara @gandalfthemorallygrey @ohboyanotherlokiblog @roachandrenfri @ourflagmeanslokius @exceleo @edettethegreat @swiftlyspidey

[modgirlyreposts-revamped]

Millie headcanons!!

- I see her as having more of a gothic lolita/almost Victorian gothic style tbh? Basically she dresses like Lydia Deetz in Beetlejuice. However I love throwing in more mall goth aspects too. Fancy black dress, messy looking makeup, demonia boots, Victorian mourning jewellery, and spiked choker & bracelets kinda thing you get me?

- Bullied kid with comorbid probably undiagnosed ADHD and depression type beat

- I imagine ITP takes place in like, early or maybe mid 2010s. I've seen on this blog once or twice the idea of Millie being around the pizzaplex and i love that idea but I always saw her as like, a closer to classic Freddy Fazbear's kid.

- Her family is pretty well off. That's why she can actually afford to dress the way she does (yeah I'm jealous what of it)

- She likes horror a Lot. It's something of a hyperfixation of hers, but it leaves her grandpa quite concerned because My Granddaughter Has Been Holed Up In Her Room Watching Horror Movies All Day Is She Mentally Stable

- I know in canon she was only going to stay with her grandpa while her parents were away but I got the vibes that her grandpa basically helped raise her. (In my own weird au where millie and sarah like, band together with the other protags to investigate freddy fazbears and specifically the bite of 83 and shit she just full on lives with him lol)

- She's intimidating as Fuck when she gets mad.

- Her hair is not naturally black (not sure what color it Is tho, maybe blonde??), but she dyes it (I also imagine she likes to throw in some purple streaks or a black to purple ombre sometimes)

- She has like 3 piercings on each ear. The second set no one knew she was getting until she came back home from going out to do so. She was banned from getting piercings as a punishment so the third one was also a secret no one in the family noticed for like months.

- She would love FNaF. I feel like she'd make "man behind the slaughter" jokes. Is that old? Me and my sister still do it.

- She is absolutely awful with kids, but they love her. She goes out to the park with a black umbrella to brood dramatically in the shade and from the playground she just hears "Millie!!" And then a small crowd of children runs up asking if she'll play with them. She always gives in and agrees to play in the end. She can never even remember their names or anything but they see the sad girl in all black and immediately know She's Friend. She would die for them.

- Oswald is her surrogate brother and ok now that I'm thinking abt millie in the pizzaplex era Gregory would be too 100%.

- She likes chocolate. She gives me the vibes of someone who just, chocolate everything. Her grandpa buys chocolate chips for baking and Millie eats them all.

- As a kid she cried a lot and didnt know how to/was too afraid to stand up for herself. She has a lot of repressed anger from those years and tends to dramatically overreact as a result (I'm not projecting what do you mean)

[TW for implied abuse for the next three]

- OK BOUNCING OFF THAT ONE HC THAT DYLAN HAS DID AS SOMEONE WHO MAYBE HAS IT MYSELF I LOVE THAT. I have an Idea for how it would've formed which is that his familial situation is Very Not Good. Anyways I think, he has probably abt 10 ish alters, Millie would get along with most of his alters. I think Dylan would have multiple persecutor alters which r alters who formed from trauma who harm the body or other alters to try and protect them. Millie actually gets along surprisingly well with one of them.

- On another note w/ Dylan tho Millie's grandpa meets Dylan, finds out just a little bit abt his family and basically tells him like "my home is your home, if you're not safe there, you're always welcome here" so <3 he likes to spend basically all his time at Millie's grandpa's house and he doesnt say it but he worries hes like is your home really that bad do I need to call CPS?

- Millie's parents come home at the end of the year and are like well what'd we miss? And her grandpa's like look at my new grandson Dylan :) Dylan come out and say hi!! And out comes a teenage boy with bright red hair, a bunch of piercings (also a scar on one ear), wearing spiky platform boots, spiked bracelets and choker like Millie's (but in white w/ black spikes) and patched black jeans, wiping Pop Tart crumbs off a My Chemical Romance shirt and he just looks up at them totally nonchalantly and goes "Heyo" and walks off and they're like MAURICE WHAT THE HELL?!? WHERE DID YOU EVEN GET THIS KID?!?! JUVIE?!!?!??

- Millie's grandpa doesn't Know Dylan has DID 100%- Dylan hasn't told him and doesn't plan to- but he notices major changes in personality from time to time and catches Millie, Sarah or Brooke calling him different names occasionally. That plus his vague knowledge of what goes down at Dylan's house, he's sorta put the dots together on his own, but he hasn't said anything yet.

- Ok so like, I love the idea of Brooke having like a pastel/bubblegum-bitch aesthetic. One time Brooke dressed Millie up in a pastel goth style (and Dylan gave her a scene/emo style) and at the time she was like it's so BRIGHT it's so SOFT WHAT but shes been thinking about that ever since and occasionally while shopping she'll pick out a pair of cutesy/pastel earrings or a neon accented choker or something like that.

- Brooke introduces Millie and Dylan to Marina. Millie introduces Brooke to MCR (or something, idk, for as much of a goth as I am I mostly listen to Penelope Scott). Dylan introduces them both to FaLiLV (a Japanese band). Brooke does not like their taste in music.

- Millie's idea of calming down is laying on her bed and listening to screamo.

This took me an hour and a half I'm sorry

ADHAKFJHSJKJHKDSSJFD I LOVE THESE-

The one about Millie being terrible with children but them loving her anyway, is so accurate to my Millie as well. She can take care of a child about as well as she can take care of herself (not much at all-), but her cousins absolutely love when she babysits them, and Gregory looks up to her as a role model (Millie's just like "thanks, but reconsider!" lol)

And the one with Millie's grandpa practically adopting Dylan, I swear ur trying to kill me with wholesomeness, I love them sm. In my AU if Dylan was having issues with his family and Millie's grandpa found out, he'd just calmly stand up and walk into the garage, coming back with a baseball bat. He'd calmly tell Millie and the others that he's just going to have a "talk" with Dylan's parents, while Millie knowing damn well just what he means by that starts chasing after him telling him not to do this, Dylan not far behind.

Dylan's parents would just hear someone pounding on their door, and when they answer there's just an extremely tired and pissed off 60 something year old man on their doorstep, and two teens attempting to hold him back, all while Millie's grandpa is shouting a load of expletives at them.

The whole time Dylan is just panicking, and is all like "M-Mr. Fitzsimmons, you don't have to do this!", whereas Millie knows that her grandfather will not calm down until someone is at least hospitalized.