#weight stuff is because of editor's own fluctuating weight
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rambling about daves timeline under the cut
this info has been touched on but a little more in depth
so i couldn't decide what age dave i wanted to RP and came up with some weird bullshit to be able to jump around impulsively but i have a general timeline for my dave
16-17: beats sburb, moves onto earth c. i DONT care about the endless isekai plot i want my boys to be happy B( i support anyone strong enough to stick with it, but personally i am rewriting it in my head the strilondes move into a duplex with roxy and rose on one side, dave and dirk on the other side. they do this because it seems like the healthiest option for all of them to live with their siblings and help each other grow and heal
dirk and dave have a lot of shit to work out both with dirk's chronic isolation and impossible standards for himself, and dave having been raised by a basement dwelling abusive dick. it's a little rocky at first especially with dirk's messiness and dave's clinginess but they push through and the strength of their relationship grows
neither of them has a job at first but they both piddle around with comics, youtube channels, and side projects until they both start messing with crypto scams. namely scamming crypto bros out of their money. it's around this point where they somehow get the rights to interdimensional twitter, which is a silly meaningless side plot but a fun one.
i probably won't play him at this age too much, but if i do the main things to look out for would be that he rambles way more and makes weird run-on sentences, like a full paragraph of metaphors, and still lives with dirk / the fam. he's also quite scrawny and still wears his god tier jammies most of the time.
around 22-23: dave moves into a house with karkat, funded by dave's youtube channel, karkat's job as a marriage counselor, and help from dirk, who's sad to not be living with his bro anymore but is very supportive and pointlessly rich.
he's at home pretty much 24/7, just casually working on youtube videos, comics, whatever he wants really. karkat is fine with being the breadwinner and household leader, dave is fine with being bossed around and he likes to clean. he has very few priorities to deal with so he does what he wants (mostly troll you all here)
this is his current "real time" age, around 25, so after he's lived with karkat a couple years already. he doesn't ramble as much, usually in a good mood and lets things roll off his back. he is also chunkier and doesn't wear his god tier outfit much anymore; he got tired of the style. he does still wear the pants around the house.
around 30 is when dave really makes a name for himself on youtube and makes his first movie, which is relatively low-budget and simple. his career kind of explodes from that point and by 35 he's in the middle of making his second movie, which is a genuine hollywood affair. he loses quite a bit of weight due to stress / being busy, usually has a 5 oclock shadow, and his outfits are usually pretty dumpy (unless it's a premiere or a press tour).
he and karkat are mostly long distance at this point, which dave stresses about more than he should. karkat is fine letting dave do his thing, but dave is beginning to overthink the fact he's going to far outlive karkat. he eventually decides to bring dirk on, which he was reluctant to do because dirk really needs to work less and get out more. but dave accepts he needs help and dirk is the only guy who can do the job properly. and dirk is happy to live his childhood fantasy of being on set with his bro
things to look out for would be his hair has a nice fade, he wears his shades less, he's usually scrawny (unless he's on break back home to be re-fattened by karkat), and he uses punctuation/rambles less
he's really busy most of the time so until i get some more things worked out he's like a little old man treat that i sprinkle to you guys like goldfish pellets in a pond of giant koi
around 40 is tbd but chunky hairy homebody dilf-with-no-kid dave supremacy.
#editor's note#lore tag tbn#weight stuff is because of editor's own fluctuating weight#around 40 is when he stops actually ageing sorry to the god tier keeping you young forever deal#i want to see that man old and grizzled and domesticated
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DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare Review: Don’t Buy Before You Read This!
What is it?
DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare is a skin cream that advertises itself as a wrinkle-reducer and color-corrector for dry and damaged skin. They claim that daily use of their cream will restore old collagen levels and bio-functionality without compromising users’ long-term health. Their website goes on to say that their product makes skin feel smooth and supple to the touch and appear years younger to the eye.
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DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare Ingredients and Side Effects
For a reason that they do not choose to explain, DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare does not choose to publish their ingredients list online. Despite this omission, they do mention several products that are in their blend at points in their advertising. Those include:
Fatty Alcohols Ceramides Vitamins A and E Antioxidants
Fatty Alcohols: A basic form of linked fats, oils, and carbons that are bonded to form a waxy, opaque solid. Fatty acids like cetearyl and stearyl alcohol are used commonly in facial care products as an emollient that helps seal in moisture or as a thickening agent in their creams.
Fatty alcohols have no nutritional value for the skin on their own, however they can be useful in a skin care blend because the spreadable fat chains help smooth and even the skin, if only cosmetically, and they form a hydrophobic barrier that keeps additives from evaporating.
Fatty alcohols are not to be confused with simple alcohols, which are detrimental to skin health. Both appear in skin care products, but it’s important for consumers to remember that simple alcohols, like benzyl, isopropyl, and denatured alcohol, are low-quality products that disreputable companies use to make their products seem more effective than they actually are.
Simple alcohols make the skin look moisturized initially, but then rob it of hydration in the long run. Fatty alcohols make the skin look even and smooth and are included in many skin care blends of all qualities. Fatty alcohols do not have any negative side effects that are associated with their usage.
Ceramides: Fat cells that live under the first layer of skin that are used as a moisture retention agent in may skin care products. Ceramides are thought to restore some of the lipids that are lost to the aging process, though there is very little concrete data about how exactly that happens.
Many health and cosmetics companies are still trying to determine the right balance, application, and formulation of the ceramide levels in their products, which has lead to some wild fluctuation of effects in the past. There are still no studies about the long-term safety and effectiveness of ceramides used for skin care, though at this point in time there are no indications that it may have negative consequences.
Vitamins A and E: Two of the fundamental building blocks of the human body and vital for a number of basic bioprocesses. Both vitamins A and E play key roles in the collagen and skin formulation process, leading many skin care products to include them in their ingredient blend.
Both vitamin A and E are safe for humans when taken in reasonable quantities and have not been connected to any serious long-term consequences.
Antioxidants: It’s hard to say what exactly this is referring to, as this is a very broad category of chemical rather than just one additive. Antioxidants are used by the skin to fight against the damaging agents that cause skin to sag and loose its luster.
They could come from any number of different sources, both natural and man-made. Green tea is a highly popular source of antioxidants, as are many citrus and fruit products like bitter orange peel or acai fruit extracts. It can be found in the oils taken from a variety of different vegetables, grains, herbs, and flowers; blue-green algae is a popular source right now, as are many compounds that are synthesized in a laboratory.
Antioxidants are a key ingredient in most skin health products, however most trustworthy products are better able to tell consumers where they came from so that it’s easier to gage their safety and effectiveness.
Click here to learn which skin care products our experts recommend for shrinking pores and tightening the skin.
EDITOR’S TIP: Combine this product with a proven anti-aging cream such as Kremotex for better results.
DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare Quality of Ingredients
It is impossible to honestly evaluate a product that will not divulge its ingredients. Skin care products are judged both by what is in their mix, as well as what isn’t. Yes, fatty acids and vitamins A and E are useful ingredients from a skin care perspective, but that is meaningless if there are other products in DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare that have negative effects that counteract all the good that the basic vitamins do.
Blends that don’t disclose their ingredients usually have a reason for doing so. It is impossible to speculate what that reason is in DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare’s case, however it does reflect poorly on their overall quality.
One of the most frequent reasons for not disclosing a full ingredients list is that a company is using ingredients like simple alcohols, lye, or C13-14 Isoparaffin that they don’t want customers to be aware of.
Follow this link to find out which over the counter skin care products have the most antioxidants in them.
The Price and Quality of DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare
DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare uses a highly non-traditional pricing structure. Unlike most normal businesses and products, they do not sell their facial cream on a per-unit basis. Instead, they only offer a free sample of their product.
The terms for this sample are buried in a tiny link at the bottom of the page, however if you click on them you see that they require you to sign up for a monthly renewal program that costs $94.11 a month and has a number of other hidden fees associated with cancellations, refunds, and returns.
This would be an exceptionally high monthly price to pay for a skin cream, even a premium quality one. It is especially too high for a product without a published ingredients list or track record of success.
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Business of DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare
It is difficult to tell who the overall owner of DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare is, mainly due to the fact that they seem to be members of a network of sites all with the same business model. It is difficult to tell who the single parent company is, however they are listed at times as Skin Technologies, Livana Lift, or Coal Cosmetics. The contact information listed for DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare online is:
Phone Number: (844) 812-0404
Address: PO Box 29209
Phoenix, AZ 85038
Email: [email protected]
The Better Business Bureau has no listing for DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare, however the pages for their associated brands show hundreds of formal complaints filed against the various shell companies with the BBB, The Federal Trade Commission, and other watchdog groups.
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Customer Opinions of DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare
The customer reviews of DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare posted on sites like Complaints Desk and Ripoff Report paint a picture of a company that has made a lot of people very angry. Most responses were similar to these:
“DermEssence is a total scam! Do not fall for their lies!”
“I thought I was just getting a free trial of a new skin cream, but the stuff they sent me was awful, so I threw it out. Then a month later I’ve got charges on my credit card for over a hundred bucks, and they refuse to let me cancel without charging me more.”
“I’ve never encountered such a dishonest company in my life. They know their product is junk and they’re just trying to trick people like me that only want to find reliable skin care.”
Most of the postings from customers are criticizing DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare’s dishonest business model, however there ere also quite a few reports about how bad the product itself was. The texture, smell, effectiveness, and side effects were all mentioned as negatives.
EDITOR’S TIP: For the best results, our experts recommend using anti-aging creams for at least 3 months. Save your money by buying a few bottles at once.
Conclusion – Does DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare Work?
Our team of reviewers’ struggles to be fair and impartial with every product and brand that we encounter. We do not want to unfairly attack honest businesses and quality products, but we also cannot in good conscience recommend products that we do not believe in.
With that said, our team was unanimous in their belief that users should stay far away from DermEssence – Superior Anti-Aging Skincare. The product that they are offering is of a highly questionable nature, both in terms of what it is made of and in the effects that it has on users. Their business model is founded on the deception of customers rather than on the production of a brand that they can believe in.
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