#we've realised she starts going a bit mad trying to get out when she needs the toilet

[timoswerner]

squeaky's out without her harness 🥹

[elektrischemaidchen]

Bayreuth Diary III: Mimimi!

We originally had planned to visit the Festspielhaus after the Wagner-Museum. But you know what? We give up. We already have 40 videos. The Wagners won't get any money from us ever again. In the evening we'll go to the cemetery again, then we need a break. We'll shoot the rest at home. On the way back, we visit the Markgräfliches Opera House, which rewards us for all the brainf**** of the day. That was wonderful. Beautiful. A great exhibition, nice people…Faith restored? A little bit.

Then the madness continues. In the restaurant next to us, some freaks are sitting at dinner trying to explain - loudly in broken Spanish (!) - to the poor Italian waitress (who speaks perfect German, by the way) that it's someone's birthday. 20 times, over an over. For whatever reason. The waitress smiles politely. On and on. Maybe she's thinking about whether she needs to put on a sombrero and sing a birthday song now. In any case, we're about to do it. Afterwards, the boys talk for an hour about memory games and their studies. At one point, one of them puts 10 cents on our table and asks if he can have a cigarrette from me. Oh, I'll give you all of them when you finally shut up. What's going on here? Is there something in the water?

In the evening, when we say goodbye to Franz, the inevitable happens that I had predicted. The tension falls away.I am terribly tired. I am sobbing. From the effort? Because the pressure is now off? (It's not gone, we still have to finalise the album when we get home tomorrow night). I've become a terrible pussy. But finally, everything grows quiet around us. No people on the streets anymore. Phew.

Yesterday. We are on our way back home and listen to the album ad nauseam; find new mistakes we hadn't heard before.

When we get home, we throw our bags in the corner and get back on the computer. Lacelove takes care of the songs, while I fill out the artist sheet for the label. And I have to laugh a bit. It feels extremely surreal to write your name directly after Franz Liszt and before Lichnowsky…Hello, Impostor syndrome, my old friend!

Shortly before 10 pm, we realise that the last song on the album also contains a crack that can only be heard through the studio headphones. We've heard ‘Paganini Reversed’ so many times by now that it's causing us physical pain.

Back at it again. At 11pm we finally upload the track and send it to Bianca and our label. And now the nervousness starts. This is different from simply finishing an album and throwing it into the ether, as we've done before. Far more official. Have we done everything right? Is there a mistake somewhere? Will the distributor accept it? Will Spotify swallow it without a problem? ARGH! And now we have to wait and see. Wait and see. And finally get some sleep.

[il3x]

mucka blucka (intro into cacophony) by Chonny Jash is a huge Shallan song (unfortunately it works even better when you know chonny jash lore which i doubt you know)

OUGHBH GOD YEAG. even from the album cover I can see it's gonna be good. alas I do not know the lore but I'll do my best!

huh this kinda fits with how much she controls and conditions her own mental state...

she do be a bard (Lightweaver)

yeah! this lyric is also a kenzie lyric btw :)

and now i. am having Emotions about shallan using jokes and stories and art as emotional first-aid for her brothers. shallan the emotional field medic, putting pressure on the wound even as the bullets rain down. she's a bit like kaladin with bridge 4. trying her damnedest to help those around her even in an actively traumatising situation.

LMAO, OKAY, THERE'S LOW HANGING FRUIT HERE...

...but I'm really more invested in this bit, which I think also fits her past. Trying to help her brothers but knowing that the abuse just keeps recurring.

GOD, FUCK, YEAH. yeah. YEAH. that's her past. we've seen the effects of Lin's abuse of her brothers, now we're seeing the trauma he inflicted on her by forcing her to put up the perfect-daughter facade in front of guests - the me that's shown to everyone else. "Gets paraded" also hits; I think Shallan's past was a lot more dehumanising than many people realise, that she was treated in large part as an ornament to use. And "stuck underground" fits with how she's restricted physically to the house, restricted socially to her family and immediate guests, restricted emotionally and unable to express herself except in fear behind closed doors, restricted intellectually with her neglected education.

fits on vibes alone! the contradiction of shallan davar. I'm sure there's way more to say about this too. To me, it's Shallan in Kharbranth - pride in what education she did manage to scrape, and joy in her newfound freedom, clashing with her hidden mission to steal Jasnah's Soulcaster, her shame at realising how insufficient her education was, and the echoes of her father (and mother, though I won't elaborate because spoilers for the asker)'s treatment on her self-esteem. Also, she's seeing Pattern here, and thinks she's going mad. Fun times!

The "I/We" pronoun shift is also interesting. Someone who knows more about DID could probably say more about it than me, but from what I understand DID develops to deal with trauma, and some alters take on more(?) of that trauma - so maybe this shows the Three system as a whole taking on the burden, while Shallan gets a breather to act as a more carefree scholar? But then again, I'm pretty sure she wasn't plural yet at this point, so idk if it would work that way.

AND SPEAKING OF THE THREE AS A SYSTEM!! I don't think this necessarily maps directly onto the Three, but it's kind of the same idea, right? Different parts of oneself to take on traumas/'tolls'.

And this is exactly what Shallan consciously wants, thinks she needs, but must move away from as a Lightweaver. She must admit truths about 'the man behind the lines', whom she hides with jokes and art, to progress in her Oaths and character arc.

This whole part feels like her trying to turn Pattern away at the start of their bond. Which I don't recall whether she did, but feels like something she would do.

[cough] LIGHTWEAVER!!!!!!

This bit reminds me of how Hoid tried to help out younger Shallan, iirc, encouraged her, but she still had to go back to her home and experience further trauma.

h.ough. yeag. don't really have anything to say abt this. i think this fits something (someone?) that happens in RoW, but spoilers.

[deep breaths]. holy shit. that was. a Lot. um. yeah really good song about trauma and identity and fracturing of the self and art as a means for concealing, expressing, and shaping one's identity! incredibly shallan. and incredibly Three.

[lovely-rants-alot]

ooc: This is a kinda continuation from my last lore drop. You could probably read this on it's own, but if you want a bit of context, try reading that

also, this one is definitely on the longer side

Tw: Mentions/alluding and actual child neglect (I think)

"Turn left in 2 miles." The gps' robotic voice played through the car speakers.

"Mum, are you sure about this? Sasha asked. "The map literally says we're going to a strawberry farm in the middle of nowhere."

"I'm positive, dear." Their mother reassured, looking in the at Brooklyn, before looking back at the road. "You alright, Lyn?"

"Yeah, you could say that..." Brooklyn said softly, staring out the window at the passing fields.

She was still in her school uniform, which was now covered in dirt and grim, looking hella dishevelled and she had torn her stockings climbing out the bathroom window.

Neither her mum of Sasha seemed convinced.

"You were attacked by that bit- I mean," Sasha glance to their mother. "not very nice lady, for what? The fifth time? She didn't even give up when we moved across the country."

"I didn't get hurt-"

"Not the point, Brook! Some insane shapeshifting monkey or whatever she was attacked my sister while I was in Spanish class!" Sasha's hands were moving around wildly as she got more worked up.

"Sasha, take a breath." Their mom told her. "Everything will be alright. Just a minor hiccup."

"A minor hiccup?! Brook got attacked for the fifth time! It couldn't be minor if you came to pick us up. You drove like three hours on short notice."

"Sasha, you need to calm down."

"Turn left in one mile." Even the gps couldn't handle this.

"Mum, where are we going?"

"Camp." She said simply.

"Camp? Like summer camp? Mum, its March-" Brook pointed out.

"Look, I know about as much as you."

"You clearly know where we're going." Sasha mumbled.

"Sasha, we've talked about this-" Their mother started.

"Oh, yeah? You both seemed awfully quiet when we were hiding in the closet to escape your and dad's yelling matches."

"You and I both know the divorce was the option for all of us."

Sasha stayed silent, and Brooklyn knew why.

This was the first time the divorce really got talked about, and it had been about a year now.

"Turn left in 500 feet."

"What were you being quiet about?" Brook piped up, after several minutes of the gps being the only sound in the car.

"You haven't told her?!" Sasha looked vivid.

"I was going to but-"

"Yeah, today happened." Sasha pinced the bridge of her nose. "Jesus Christ, Mum. You always do this. Just because she's not actually yours-" Her eyes widened, realising what she said.

Another silence filled the air as they finally turned left.

"Dad cheated?" Brook asked quietly. "Am I the reason-"

"No." Their mother sighed. "I didn't found out you were his until we started getting divorced."

Sasha sighed. "Way to let her down gently."

"Mum, not to be rude but please just spit it out. I'm sick of you all beating around the bush."

"You appeared on our doorstep. I thought you were just ditched entirely, so we adopted you. But, you were left there for a reason."

"So, basically, dad screwed around, someone committed child endangerment or however you'd word it and you all lied to me for 15 years." Her voice got angrier as she spoke. "Just what this family needed."

"Brook-"

"Look, I'm not mad at you that dad could not cheat, I'm mad at the fact that you lied to me about that I wasn't your kid."

"Come on, don't be like that-"

"No! I will be like that! Cause you didn’t even sit me down and tell me 'hey, kid, you're adopted but your still my kid anyways'. " Brook shot back. "I don't care that I'm adopted, or technically not your kid, that wouldn't have mattered. You went out of your way to not tell me that."

"Mum, that is pretty fucked up." Sasha said softly.

Their mother stayed silent for a moment. "Well, I guess I'm just the worse the mother eve-"

"Don't even start on that! I don't want to hear you go on about how you sacrificed for us, how you went through 18 hours of labour or whatever you're going to say. You're not perfect, no one is, but the least you could do is admit you made a mistake." Brook scoffed. "I can not believe I'm parenting you right now."

"Brooklyn Mackenzie, don't try me right now." Her mother told her lowly.

Brook fell silent.

How the hell do you switch up so fast?

Sasha looked back at Brook, silent saying 'What the fuck just happened?"

Brook shrugged.

The rest of the car ride was quiet, with only the gps being the only sound until they arrived.

"Go up that hill and head to the farmhouse." Their mother told them.

Brook looked to see the lights coming for the farmhouse.

"Mum, it's pitch black." Sasha pointed out.

"Don't trip." She shrugged.

"Oh for fucks sake." Brook grabbed her bag and climbed out the car. Sasha did the same thing.

Their mother looked at them once, before driving off.

"What the hell! She's going to just leave us here, in the middle of the fucking night and give us the vaguest directions?"

"You're surprised? She's either overprotected or down right neglecting us. No in between." She sighed, her tone becoming bitter. "I'd be happy to not be related to her."

Brook turned around. "That's a steep ass hill."

Sasha turned around. "Jesus, it's practically vertical."

"I think this day is cursed."

"Amen to that." And they starting walking.

@that-asian-child-of-aphrodite @that-one-daughter-of-apollo @childofthewargod @glee-of-ares-wrath-of-aphrodite @daonedaonlyskh

ooc: If you want to be added or removed from the tag list, let me know :)

[little-smartass]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT COVER ALBUM - the legendary Vampire Lestat is back and bigger and badder than ever, this time bringing a whole album of song covers ranging from classic bangers to newer fresh takes on chart hits! get your copy now, complete with a transcript of the artist's commentary on each song!

(songs I think Lestat would cover and release as an album in an attempt to re-kickstart his career and/or make some sort of dramatic statement to Louis. tracklist and "artist commentary" under the cut)

Survival - Muse

“And I’ll reveal my strength, to the whole human race, yes I am prepared, to stay alive, and I won’t forgive, and vengeance is mine, and I won’t give in, because I choose to thrive! Yeah I’m gonna win!”

Oh, I wish this song had been around back on that opening night at the Cow Palace - how apt that would have been! What a fucking anthem! They would have been rioting all night. I mean, they already were, but, like, because of the music. Not because vampires were being immolated in the middle of the crowd. Different kind of riot.

The Bitch Is Back - Elton John

“I’m a bitch, I’m a bitch, oh the bitch is back, stone cold sober as a matter of fact, I can bitch, I can bitch, ‘cause I’m better than you, it’s the way that I move, the things that I do!”

One day I want to have this play as I walk into Night Island. I’ll time it perfectly so that I throw off my coat - my denim jacket, or- oh, no, a fur! Maximum drama! - just as the chorus starts. Armand will know that I’m coming of course, but I think that’ll just make it even better. And I have good memories to this song... [muffled question] Sorry, gentlemen don’t kiss and tell, bébé. [laughter]

Everybody Loves Me - OneRepublic

"Oh my, feels just like I don’t try, look so good I might die, all I know is everybody loves me, head down, swaying to my own sound, flashes in my face now, all I know is everybody loves me”

Look, do I even need to explain this one? Didn’t think so.

Bad Reputation - Joan Jett

"I don't give a damn ‘bout my reputation, I've never been afraid of any deviation, and I don't really care if you think I'm strange, I ain't gonna change - and I'm never gonna care bout my bad reputation"

This one's fairly self-explanatory again. It could have been my personal anthem when I was mortal quite honestly. And it's an awful lot of fun to jump about and headbang to, don't you think? That's a new thing I've found out about, headbanging. People have been hopping about to music looking like fools for centuries but now there's a name for it. Fantastic.

bad guy - Billie Eilish

"I’m that bad type, make your mama sad time, make your girlfriend mad type, might seduce your dad time… I’m the bad guy. Duh.”

Creepy? Check. Sexy? Check. Tongue-in-cheek? Check check. This song was great and a lot of fun to cover.

Lover to Lover - Florence + the Machine

“I believe there’s no salvation for me now, no space among the clouds, and I feel I’m heading down, but that’s alright, that’s alright, that’s alright”

I don’t know, this one just felt very relevant. Also the piano was great to do. You might have noticed that I’ve picked a lot of songs with piano, and that’s because I bullied the studio into getting me a goooooorgeous grand piano for the recording space and I wanted to use it as much as possible!

Feeling Good - Muse

“Stars when you shine, you know how I feel, scent of the pine, you know how I feel, oh freedom is mine, and I know how I feel”

I just really like this song - I’ve done a cover of an excellent cover! Can- can you put emojis in this? Do people still use emojis? Well imagine I’ve put the shrug one. Wait, isn’t there- Daniel, Daniel, come here, isn’t there a shrug emoji made up of keyboard- [muffled words] yes! The shrug one! Yes, put that in the transcription. [ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ] I just like this song.

The Man - The Killers

“I got gas in the tank, I got money in the bank, I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man, I got skin in the game, I got a household name, I got news for you baby, you're looking at the man”

I feel like this one speaks for itself too. Can you put that shrug emoji thing in here again? [ ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ ] Yes!

J'ai Pas Envie - MIKA

J'ai pas envie, de faire comme si, comme les maris, qui disent oui, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie d'te faire plaisir, j'ai pas envie, j'ai pas envie, si tu m'aimes viens me le dire"

Look, I'm not going to translate the whole song for you, because it has all this clever wordplay you just totally lose in english… but the gist of it is that these two lovers are… at odds a lot. It's… it's maybe a little spiteful [laughter] but in a fun way! It's a fun song! Louis won't even be mad about it, it's MIKA.

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy - Queen

"When I'm not with you, think of you always (I miss those long hot summer nights), when I'm not with you, think of me always, always"

[Long pause] God, I miss Freddie.

Let 'Em Talk - Kesha

Ah, full disclosure - I put this song in purely because of the expression Louis made when I played it in the car and it got to the line “can suck my dick” and she did that popping noise… it was incredible, and I just knew I had to cover it so I could see his expression when I said that. I can’t wait to play it to him. [laughter]

So What - P!nk

"So so what, I'm still a rockstar, I got my rock moves, and I don't need you, and guess what? I'm having more fun, and now that we're done, I'm gonna show you tonight, I'm alright, I'm just fine, (and you're a tool, so)"

I'm actually a big fan of nineties and noughties female stars - all that grrrrrrrl power, it's great fun, you know? I'd say this one is fairly self-explanatory, because I am still a rockstar! This is my new album! Fuck you EMP and your sniffy little article calling me "washed up"!

Little Lion Man - Mumford & Sons

"But it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn't I my dear?"

This one could be self-deprecating, but it's also very vindictively angry at the same time, and that's a combination I definitely get. Like, oh, it's my fault, isn't it? It's my fucking fault again, what a surprise. Perhaps "learn from your mother or you'll spend your days biting your own neck" is a little on the nose… [muffled words] you've read my books, right? [muffled words] Good, good.

Missy - The Airbourne Toxic Event

"But I swear there's still some good in me, I think if you'd stuck around you'd see, all the botched attempts at integrity I once had"

Oh, I was feeling philosophical when I picked this one. No, philosophical isn't the right word… melancholy? Do people still use that word? "I swear I swear I swear I'll never get sad" is both furiously defiant and yet so self-defeatingly ironic. [Exasperated noise] Enough of that. Next!

Please Don't Leave Me - P!nk

"I don't know if I can yell any louder, how many times have I kicked you out of here, or said something insulting? I can be so mean when I wanna be, I am capable of nearly anything, when my heart is broken… (please, please don't leave me)"

Oh, we’re… we’re getting to this section now. [clearing throat] Well, I have to make up for that sucking dick line, don’t I? Get a bit vulnerable. Oh God, why did I decide to do this bit? [muffled words] [bad chicago accent] But why buy the cow? Because you love him, you really do. [sigh, laughter]

Next To Me - Imagine Dragons

"Oh, I always let you down, shattered on the ground, still I find you there, next to me, and oh, the stupid things I do, I'm far from good it's true, still I find you, next to me"

Why did I- I don’t remember putting so many of these ones in.

Run To You - Pentatonix

"I've been settling scores, I've been fighting so long, but I've lost your war, and our kingdom is gone... how shall I win back your heart which was mine? I have broken bones and tattered clothes, I've run out of time"

[Sigh] [clears throat] Yeah. I think we can move onto the next one.

Love of My Life - Queen

“Love of my life, don't leave me, you've stolen my love, you now desert me, love of my life, can't you see? Bring it back, bring it back, don't take it away from me, because you don't know, what it means to me”

I play this one sometimes on my baby grand when we've had a fight, and it's impossible for him to stay angry. He's a sucker for this sort of… formality in romance. God, I wish I'd realised that earlier. If I'd written him a letter in fancy copperplate script with scented paper and enclosed rose petals politely requesting him to bend me over his desk back in the day, it might not have taken two centuries of mutual blue balls for us to figure our shit out. Ah well, live and learn… as it were. [muffled words] Look, I did a whole bunch of vulnerable songs! Now I get to make sex jokes! [laughter] oh fuck off.

[margarethelstone-2]

if I loved you less (i might talk about it more)

requested by one and only @nerdypanda3126. thanks so much!

Read on AO3!

"Taichi... You still like me, don't you?"

The young man in question raised his eyes from the book he'd been trying to read for the past quarter, and fixed them on Chihaya, confused. It wasn't just the question that surprised him, even though its content sure would have been enough to puzzle a better prepared soul.

The fact that Chihaya had barely spoken at all for most of their time together today was the main reason why he felt startled by her words now.

She really had been quiet for most of the day, even though they were spending it at his place, determined, as she herself had claimed, not to get in the way of his studies. Taichi had tried to make her realise that it wasn't what he wanted at all, that the very reason he'd invited her over was to get a break from all the reading and just relax a little. He'd explained over and over again that he needed her to be a distraction; tried – unsuccessfully – to get it into her head that she was actually doing him a favour. He knew how much of a workaholic he could be and so he specifically planned the visit as a means to enforce the necessary break he might not have taken otherwise.

He had told her all of that. And yet, she'd remained quiet.

All the way until now, that is.

And just what on earth was she going on about?

"What's with that question? You know the answer to that," he replied casually, almost dismissively, before going back to the textbook in his hand. He really had no idea what had gotten into her all of the sudden, but then again, he didn't care to delve on the subject. He knew she'd tell him anyway.

"I was just wondering," she answered, a trace of hurt ringing in her voice; Taichi needed to hold back the smile that sprang on his lips at the sight of her pout. "Is it so bad if I do?"

Taichi hummed in thought.

"Is that why you've been so quiet all day?" he asked right after. "You've been just busy considering my possible affection for you?"

"Stop with the mockery. I'm thinking of it seriously."

"Oh? And what conclusions did you come to?"

"I wouldn't have asked if I'd come to any."

He had no choice but to close the book and put it away after a statement he'd just heard. Not that he minded. Throwing it on the floor rather carelessly, he sat up straight in his corner of the couch and, resting his chin on his palm, he fixed his gaze on the girl seated by his desk on the other side of the room.

She really was being impossible today.

Well, he supposed that wasn't anything new. He'd known Chihaya long and well enough to not be fazed by the swings in her mood or the inane schemes she so often came up with. He had learnt to expect the unexpected, every day, every hour of his otherwise boring life, because that was obviously the only way to keep up with her. The one thing he had to keep doing if he still wanted to be a part of her life.

Because that was how Ayase Chihaya was.

Chihaya. His best friend. His fiercest karuta rival. The girl he'd been in love with since fourth grade of primary school and the girl who'd rejected him straightforwardly at the very beginning of their third year in Mizusawa High. The girl whom he'd thought he could never win over, on whom he'd given up again and again, fooling himself he could move on and blight the love he'd had for her since he'd been a ten year old squirt.

He sighed and shook his head, remembering her question from a moment before.

She knew damn well he was still head over heels for her.

She was his girlfriend, for sanity's sake.

"I can't believe you actually have asked, you know," he picked up with the same fake weariness he'd shown before, if only to cover his growing amusement. Seeing her very real anxiety made him assume a more solemn expression, as he asked, "Seriously, what brought this on? Are you mad about something?"

"I'm not mad," she disagreed instantly, and with good emphasis.

"Are you unhappy then? Did I do something to make you feel like that?"

Again, she denied. Now she just looked sad. "That's not it."

Wrong. She was flustered.

"Then what is it?" Taichi asked, as gently and warmly as he could. Not for the first time, he felt grateful for all the hard training his patience had received. It was obvious that Chihaya needed that from him now. "It's not like I could get over you like this, you of all people should be aware of that. You're the most important person in my life. The best companion I could think of. You know I get lonely and grumpy when I can't see you, and you know I still get absurdly jealous, even though I hate being so. And so I can't help but think there's something else I'm not doing right."

Taichi stopped there, waiting for her to, if not answer his question, then to contradict him in one way or another, at least. After all, he really was at a loss.

He thought he'd been doing a fairly good job as a boyfriend, when all was said and done. He'd already shared Chihaya's most important interest and it wasn't difficult to at least understand the new ones she'd found. He made sure to be there for her when she needed him, and tried his best to give her space when she needed that more. True, he'd had some trouble coming for help on his part, but even that was a thing of a past rather than present – certainly not something that could shock Chihaya into thinking like this.

He would think that the all-day-long date he'd come up with and seen through in celebration of their first anniversary as a couple last week was a good show of how much he still cared.

He wasn't perfect. Neither was she. But never in his life would he have thought that he'd failed to get his feelings across.

"Chihaya," he prompted once more, his voice audibly quieter. "Please tell me what it is. I can't fix it if I don't know what's broken."

She looked up from the floor she'd been glaring at for a while and met his gaze, a shadow of unease still clouding her big brown eyes. She opened her mouth to answer; she closed it instantly and looked away again, abashed. There was a hint of pink on her cheeks, and it only grew darker as the time passed, though whether it was because of embarrassment or something more alarming, Taichi couldn't tell yet.

"Chihaya–"

"It's because you never say it."

He supposed his eyes opened wider than ever, what's with the utter astonishment he felt growing inside him immediately. For a few moments, he could do nothing but stare, the craziness of the situation overwhelming enough to successfully prevent him from forming a sensible thought, and much less coming up with any kind of solution. One look at Chihaya was enough to sober him up, however.

She was distressed. She was insecure.

No matter how stupid he thought the reason to be, he could hardly allow the situation to last.

With a groan that was bound to startle her, he bent over and buried his face in his hands.

Only one thing he could do now.

"Come here," he said, his face still hidden behind one hand as he tore the other one away and beckoned her towards him. "No excuses. You'll talk later. Now just come here, please."

She did, albeit tentatively, as if afraid of the reaction he might show her. With his patience starting to run thin at last, Taichi didn't wait for her to cover the whole distance, instead reaching out and grabbing her by the wrist, only to pull her down on the couch right next to him.

And then he pulled her even closer, locking her in a bone-crushing hug.

"I'm gonna do something to you," he mumbled into her hair, his voice a mixture of laughter and complaint. "You cruel, cruel, woman. Have you no heart? Here I am, mind reeling as I try to figure out what the hell I did wrong again and you say it's because I don't say I like you enough. As if you didn't already know you've got a firmer hold of my heart than I ever did. Tell me, am I really this bad at showing you that I care that you doubt it?"

It was Chihaya's turn to growl at him, though it surely – and fortunately – didn't stop her from burying her face even deeper into his chest and digging her fingers into the shirt on his back. Again, Taichi laughed at the display, but didn't loosen his grip one bit.

That silly, unbelievable, most beloved girl.

"This and that are different things," she muttered finally in response against his buttons, her stubborn indignation probably being the only reason why he could discern the words at all. "There are different kinds of love languages. We even talked about it, you know."

"Yes. And as far as I remember, we've already established that neither of us cared for this one. So your argument doesn't work."

Well, this was a lie, or at least, it wasn’t fully true. After all, he could never get tired of hearing her say those words, to him and him only. But he didn't need it that much, not when he already knew of so many other ways in which Chihaya expressed her love towards him. He'd always assumed it was the same for her, too.

Funnily enough, he still didn't think he was mistaken.

"I've had feelings for you for the past fourteen years, you dummy, I wouldn't change my mind just because you decided to return them," he threw in only half-jokingly, as if to make sure he got his point across before moving onto the next part. "So? Care to tell me what's the source of it all?"

He felt her tense against him for a split second, only to relax in the next moment with a long, weary sigh. He waited for her to make herself comfortable in his arms, shifting ever so slightly to make it easier for them both. And then he heard her speak.

"I met up with Kana-chan the other day," she admitted weakly. "Her and Desktomu. And I guess... They're always so sweet with one another, now more than ever. I suppose... It made me feel a little jealous. But most of all, it just made me think."

"And you decided that I'd fallen out of love with you, because I don't talk like Komano does?"

"I didn't decide anything, I told you already. I just wondered if maybe I was doing something wrong to deserve that treatment. Sorry for being so terribly scared of losing you again because of my own foolishness."

Words caught in his throat as Taichi tried to protest against this new development. That last addition Chihaya had made – and more importantly, the wounded, truly uncertain voice with which she'd spoken – would have been enough to melt his heart even if he had actually been angry with her. Right now, he had to hold back from grabbing her by the chin and kissing her senseless until all the idiotic ideas evaporated from her overworked mind.

The things she did to him without as much as trying.

You evil little imp.

"They're newly-weds. You can't use them for reference," he managed to stutter out at least, conveniently ignoring the hoarseness of his own voice and the emotion that hovered behind it. "Not to mention, those two are the opposite of us when it comes to talking about feelings openly. There's a reason they got together six years before we did. Just because something works for them doesn't mean it's the best course for us to take as well."

He smiled again and planted a kiss at the top of her hair, before adding, "I still can't believe you really doubted me, though."

She huffed and pulled away, although she still didn't move from her place on the couch. They were still close; close enough for Taichi to see the light reflecting in her eyes and the blush that hadn't left her cheeks, and to reach out and comb her tangled hair with his fingers. Another gesture so full of love, even though it was but a fraction of all that she made him feel.

"Well, since I never understood what had made you fall in love with me in the first place, it's only natural that I'd have this kind of doubts."

He chuckled and she smiled on her part, her obstinacy giving it to the desire to just be with him. It was another thing Taichi was able to read in her eyes – and, knowing the feeling well enough from his own experience, he had no trouble deciphering it.

Delayed, the first part of her sentence entered his brain.

What made me fall for you, I wonder?

He didn't know. It had been so long since he’d realised his feelings after all, and longer still since those feelings had been born. Even all those years earlier, he probably wouldn’t have been able to point out the reasons clearly, never mind finding the one spark that had started it – trying to do so now seemed downright impossible.

There were so many reasons, after all.

Maybe it was because she had never considered herself a possible love interest for anyone, first when she was too engrossed in karuta and later, when she thought she didn't deserve to be one. Maybe it was her hot-headedness and her drive, and how different she'd always been from him, and yet never failed to tell him how much she'd admired and envied those qualities of his that she lacked.

Maybe it was the fact that she'd always been with him, so close and so dear and yet so impossible to grasp.

Maybe it was because she'd loved him long before either of them dared believe that was the case.

Maybe...

"Maybe," he said out loud, though in fact not loud at all, his lips moving against her forehead as he leaned in to put a kiss there, too. "Maybe, if I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more."

Edging away, Taichi saw tears gathering in her eyes. He wiped them away with his thumb, his hand cupping the side of her jaw fittingly.

And then he kissed her properly.

Just like he had wanted to ever since he'd first seen her that day.

[jaysevhls]

The Life I Had (pt.2) | Jay Halstead

Summary: Based on season 5, episodes 7 and 10. Jay is struggling with this undercover mission, while Y/N is trying to help him after Erin left him. Both of them are starting to realise their feelings for each other.

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader.

Author's note: Requests are open!

PART 1 | PART 3

It was time to go to work, when you got a message from Hailey that she'll pick you up, because you got a case. Since yesterday you were now at Adam's apartment, because when you moved to Jay, you decided to sell your apartment. You needed cash and it wasn't a necessary to have another one. You thought that it'll last longer than that, but well... Jay had different plans.

"I'll be back late, you can take my keys." Adam said when you walked into the kitchen.

"And why is that?"

"I'm working at something, don't worry." he hugged you, took his gun and badge and then left.

Hailey showed up few minutes later.

"What do we got?" you asked.

"Jay was undercover yesterday and he found a shooted girl. He's on the scene."

"Well, that's none of my business, but I'm pretty sure we've finished this case and there's no need to him be undercover."

"Yeah, I guess. Voight is already there, I don't know what we should expect." she said.

"I swear to god, if he got involved in something because of this girl, I'll end her." you said and closed the door behind you.

You followed Hailey to her car. After few minutes you were on the scene.

"What are you doing here?" Jay asked as you, Hailey and Voight showed up.

"Well, what are YOU doing here Jay? I'm pretty sure we've closed this case." Voight asked him, but you knew what the answer will be. Of course Jay was feeling something to this girl.

"I'm working. Camila Vega, she's my CI." he asked and looked at you.

"Since when? Did you put her in papers? you didn't want to listen this conversation. Walking by the few police officers, you decided to check the body and find some personal items like phone or wallet.

But there was nothing. Only cash.

"Y/N? Can we talk?" Jay appeared behind you as you were talking with other officer.

"What do you want? If I left something at your place I'll take it tonight, but I'm pretty sure I've got everything."

"Stop, no, I just... I really miss talking to you. I want to apologize Y/N." he looked at you and you felt tears willing up in your eyes. Why was this so difficult? You weren't together, you didn't break up... He was just a friend. And partner.

"I don't think it's a great place to have conversation like this. I can meet you tonight if you want."

"Okay, be at my place at 9pm." he tried to step forward and hug you, but you moved to the back. You didn't feel right, not now.

Even if you were still mad at him, you smiled when he walked away. It was painful being that far away from him, he meant so much to you, and it couldn't end up like this, but at the same time he needed to know that what he did was just wrong.

Time passed by and you decided to leave Adam's apartment and go visit Jay. This day wasn't that bad at all. Back at district you were talking a little bit more with him that usual, so that made you really happy.

You decided to take a walk to his apartment. It was close to Ruzek's apartment and there was no need to drive, besides, you thought that this night you both will end up drunk.

After few minutes you were chasing the hall. You checked your phone last time to saw if he sent something to you about cancelling your plans. You knocked on his door, but there was just silence. He didn't text you, you were just standing there knocking at his door.

"Hey, can you be more quiet? If he's not answering, maybe he just doesn't want to talk" some neighbor said.

"Sorry, I'll just go now." you answered. You stood there for second before storming out from building. When you felt the wind on your cheeks, you bursted into tears. He lied. He freaking lied, leaving you there alone.

You couldn't catch a breath, everything was so blurry. You didn't want to show up like this in Adam's place, so instead of going there, you went back to the district. It was late, the whole intelligence went homes, so no one would notice you there.

You sat on the couch in break room with tea in your hands. From nowhere Voight appeared confused, just standing and staring at you.

"Please just don't say anything, I can't handle more today." you said.

"What happened kiddo? I thought you went home with Adam." he walked closer.

"Yeah I did, but I forgot to do something here so I got back."

"Don't lie to me Y/N. You gave me your files, there's no reason for you to be here." he said. "So, you better gotta tell me what happened or I'm calling Adam."

"Halstead and I can't get along in past few weeks, we were supposed to meet today, but he just didn't show up and I can't go back to Adam place looking like this. I'll stay here for the night I guess."

"No way Y/N. Come on, you're going back to Adam, you're going to tell him what happened. I can't let you think that this is okay. Talk about everything what is bothering you kid."

"You're right I guess. But I'll go alone, I need to call someone before I got home."

"Okay, but I'm giving you 15 minutes, then I'll call Trudy to drive you on her own."

"Sure thing."

The next day, you arrived alone to the district. Team got a lead to a guy who were dealing with drugs and he supposed to meet that killed girl. After founding out that she was undercover as CIA agent just made this case the important things and it needed to be solved as soon as possible.

You smiled at Trudy when you got there and went straight upstairs.

"Club Echo? And Alex? I know him, I met him trough Camila." you heard Jay's voice as you appeared in bullpen."I can go under with Y/N." he continued.

"Take Hailey, I've got a work to do." you snapped at him and went to your desk. Voight looked at you and answered:

"Y/N, you're going. I need Hailey here." he said.

"But Serg-" of course he made this because of the last night and what you've told him.

"Go before you'll say too much." you stood up, grabbed your jacket and went after Jay.

The whole time there was a silence in the car. You said that you don't want to talk as you got in his truck and he just nodded.

After a while you were in Echo, searching for Alex.

"Hey man, thanks for meeting." Jay said.

"Ryan, hey! Who's that pretty lady huh?" Alex asked looking at you.

"Not your league. I'm his sister." you pointed with your head at Jay.

"So, I heard that you have something good for me."

"What are you talking about?" Alex laughed at Jay.

"Man, we y'all know that you're dealing. Camila told me."

"Yeah I do. What also did she said after that 20 minutes in the back of the club and whole night at her place huh?" you looked at Jay confused. He stood you up for her. He freaking lied to you because of her. He chose her over you.

"Alright, you want to know more than you should. Can we make a deal?" Jay asked.

"Sure, I'll call you when it'll be done." they said goodbyes and you went outside.

You couldn't believe that Jay really did that to you. After all these years.

"I can't believe..." you whispered.

"What Y/N?"

"You're sleeping with her. This entire time being "undercover" you were screwing up with her." you said.

"Y/N, it's not like that..."

"It's not like what? Like what Jay? You fucking lied to me. I was the one who waited for you for almost an hour in front of their apartment, because you were too busy fucking her! Was that worth it? Over all these things we had?

"I wanted to see you but it came out of nowhere and I needed to meet her and talk." he answered and walked closer.

"No, all you needed was to fuck her. That's what you wanted to do. All this time. And don't play being broken and alone Jay. I was the one who were with you all this time! I stayed the night with you, I moved in with you, because you needed help! I watched you almost die, cry every night, I was there, not her! And you're still treating me like this."

"Don't make it like this Y/N... Don't play innocent girl, you're saying that I'm making wrong choices but maybe look at yourself and ask if it's right to sleep around with Adam!"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Life isn't perfect Y/N."

"Yeah, funny story that you were the one who broke me first." you said and walked away.

Part 3?

[yunho-es]

Member/s: Seonghwa (ATEEZ), Namjoon (BTS)

Genre: soft/angst

Warnings: swear words

Words: 2133

"May I take your order?"

"Chocolate croissant and orange juice, please." I say, handing back the breakfast card to the waitress. "Namjoon?"

The man in front of me lifts his look from his card. "I will have blueberry pancakes, please." he gives back his card and smiles politely at the waitress. She smiles back at us and leaves with our orders. "I heard your little boyfriend is in town." he coughs.

"Little baldie is here?" I reply calmy, ignoring the fact that he calls him my boyfriend. He laughs and slaps his hands at my words. I know his laugh is coming from his heart when he does that.

"Why baldie?"

"Since he became a little famous on YouTube with his singing he behaves like a kpop idol; dyeing his hair 3 times a month." I roll my eyes and look over at the kitchen door, waiting for my meal to come out.

"So... He's behaving like me?" Namjoon raises his eyebrow.

"You can make fun of me but at the end of the day you are the ones that will end up bald." I can't help myself so I start laughing and he joins. "Also, he's not my boyfriend."

"If we ask you, of course he isn't." the brown haired boy looks towards the kitchen door too, ignoring my suspicious look. Then he takes his phone and starts texting someone.

"What do you mean if you ask me? Who else do you ask?" I know who, but I want to hear the words from someone else so I can be sure. But Namjoon pretends he doesn't hear me and continues to type on his phone. I look down on his screen trying to read the person's name. "Typing on the phone while you're with someone is considered rude, in case you didn't know."

I lean back in my chair and watch his face, waiting for a reaction. But he doesn't move anything except his fingers. Finally, I saw the waitress coming towards our table.

"I swear I'm gonna eat all your pancakes." he smirks and leaves his phone.

"If you do that, it will be your last meal." he says with a wink. The waitress put he croissants and orange juice in front of me, then the pancakes with a glass of water in front of Namjoon. Just as she was about to leave, he stops her. "One medium vegetable omelette and sausages too, please. Thank you."

I give him a confused look. "Don't you have to watch what you eat?" he looks at his pancakes, then at me, then back at his pancakes.

"What are you talking about? I am watching what I eat." he proceeds to stare at his plate. "And it looks delicious." as soon as he said that he stuffed his mouth with the blueberries first, then pancakes.

"You're so funny I forgot how to laugh. Sometimes I miss you when you have a busy schedule but I get tired of you real soon."

"Isn't she a delight?"

I turn around quickly as I feel a voice near my ear. "Holy sh*t!" I jump and the person laughs.

"Nice to see you again." the blonde haired boy said. Just two weeks ago he had blue hair and a different clothing style. "Hi, Namjoon."

"You made it! Unfortunately I'll have to go as soon as I finish this but you have your little girlfriend here." Seonghwa sits next to Namjoon on the opposite side of me and smiles. "You two enjoy. I ordered what you told me." so that is why Namjoon was on the phone the whole time.

The two of them start a small talk and I find myself staring at Seonghwa. His look changed, but his facial expressions and body language didn't. I know exactly how he reacts when he's surprised, angry, happy or sad. I know his eyes very well. Speaking of his eyes, I noticed him giving me a few quick glances. My boyfriend, says Namjoon. I can't wait to find out what that is about.

***

"Kids, it was nice seeing you, but Hoseok told me I have to leave soon to catch them on the bus." Namjoon takes his jacket and puts his sunglasses on. Then he does his little handshake with Seonghwa and hugs me. "Enjoy your meals!"

"How old do I have to be for you to stop calling me a kid?" the blonde boy complains.

"I don't know. All you can do is wait and find out." finally, he gets up and leaves the cafe. Now I'm left with one chocolate croissant, half glass of juice and a boyfriend. They say that based on your morning, that's how the rest of your day will be. Let's see.

"Hi." he speaks first. "I'm sorry I didn't ask if you were comfortable with me coming here. I know that you're not a big fan of me." I notice one of his movements when he's nervous: playing with his fingers and rings.

"Says who?" I can be rude towards him sometimes, roasting the h*ll out of him just to have a good laugh. But as time passes I realise that while I'm getting the laugher, he's getting the embarrassment and lower self-confidence. Today I will be the best I can. "Just because I make a few jokes sometimes that doesn't mean I can't stand you."

"I wouldn't say a few jokes..." he grabs the fork and starts picking the remaining vegetables on his plate, then continues. "Are you still working in the same place?"

I explain to him that our boss had a case in her family and gave all employees three days off. He nods his head at my words as a small sign that he understands. "What about you?" I finish the other croissant, together with the juice and lean back into my chair, ready to listen to him.

"I have a few days off too. Not because something happened to my boss, but because I accidentally set the studio on fire." he replies calmly. I stare at him wide eyed, waiting for him to laugh or at least say that he is joking. But when I see that he doesn't even look at me I realise he is serious.

"Even though I'm really curious about what happened, I have another question."

I decide to ask him about Namjoon's words. It is a joke, but there must be something that created it: a situation, or a person. Seonghwa finishes his plate as well and takes a sip of his water. Then I decide that we should rather take a walk. We've been too long in this place and I need fresh air. I will ask him about it outside.

***

It is a warm, sunny day, just like they said last night on TV. Seonghwa decided that a nearby park was a perfect place to sit and talk, and I agreed. So here we are, sitting on a wooden bench, listening to birds.

"Look, I wanted to ask you-"

"Namjoon told you, didn't he?" he interrupts me. As usually, he avoids to look at me and instead just looks around the park. I turn my body towards him, putting both of my legs on each side of the bench.

"He didn't tell me much. If you want, I can pretend that I don't know anything and you can say what you wanted instead of him." I try to speak as calm as I can. With his hands in his pockets and his lip under his teeth, he still refuses to look at me. I never saw how pretty his side profile is. He truly looks like an idol: with his clear skin, sharp jaw, almost perfect face proportions.

Finally, he sighs and turns his head towards me and catches me staring. "I think I have feelings for you." he goes straight to the point. My mouth suddenly gets dry and I try to think of my next words, but when he sees that I'm trying to speak, he puts his hand up as a sign to stop. "Let me finish. Believe me when I say that I have no clue when this started, and how it started. You always made fun of me and my dreams, but I laughed with you. You always refused to go out with me anywhere, and when you did go out with me, suddenly a third person would join. In case you didn't notice, I found a job in a studio on the other side of the city, just to be far from you. That way I could help both of us, but it didn't work. I still have no f*cking idea how I fell for a person like you, but I'm-"

"A person like me?" I raise my eyebrow. "What is that supposed to mean?" the blonde haired boy laughs at my words, making me even angrier.

"From all of the things I said, that's what you decide to ask me? Yes, a person like you. A mean person. A person that would embarrass anyone just to give the crowd a good laugh, even if it meant breaking the person. You know what? Forget it. I'm going back to the hole which I came from and I'll continue working hard on my stupid and impossible dreams, as you say. I don't even know what I expected from you." with those words, he gets up from the bench, not giving me a single look. Then he starts walking away. It takes me a few moments to replay all of his words in my head, and I get mad at myself for getting mad at him. He has every right to be like this, but one thing I still can't understand.

"Hey, idiot!" I slap myself mentally. Was it hard to call him by his name? It stayed as a habit, I guess. As expected, Seonghwa doesn't turn around, so I'm forced to run towards him. I grab his arm and stand in front of him, thinking of my next words. A sorry is all I can say. His gaze is killing me. From the look on his face I can see that he is remembering all the moments I let him down. I've never felt more ashamed and bad. He laughs sarcastically again and keeps walking. "No, please! You have no idea how sorry I am. All I wanted was to fit in I didn't even think about-"

"That's the thing. You didn't even think." he interrupts me for the second time today. "I hope you feel at least a little bit like I felt most of the time."

He's trying to look angry, but every few seconds his gaze softens. I used a boy with dreams to impress people I didn't even know. As a result, I broke him.

"But still, my mind and my heart are so tired and broken that I still wish to grab you and kiss you right here, hoping that you won't push me away." the words leave his mouth as a soft whisper. My hand is still holding his arm and I can't seem to let go.

All the words he said to me made me see him in a different light. I always saw him as that guy with good grades, but too big dreams, as the guy who could take all the jokes and even make jokes about himself. But right now, in front of me stood a grown up man, confessing everything so bravely. And his wish became true; I did feel a bit like he did. Humiliated and ashamed, but ashamed of my behaviour, not my dreams.

As we stood like that in the middle of the park, I didn't notice that he closed the gap between our bodies and gently removed my hand from his arm. "I really want to kiss you." he admits and waits for a response.

"How can you kiss a person like me?" my eyes are slowly starting to get teary as I keep replaying all his words in my head. He doesn't respond to that. Instead, he grabs my face gently with both his hands and presses his soft lips on mine. I close my eyes with a sigh and allow myself to return every kiss he gives me. I melt into his touch and find myself asking for more. After a few very short kisses, he pulls away.

"How can I not kiss a person like you?" he smiles. "You did make me feel miserable, but that didn't stop me for developing feelings for you. And I always believe in second chances when it comes to people. So please use it well."

[sillyrabbit81]

Her Heavy Cross

Summary: Three years after tragedy hits, Lana she decides to start dating again. She meets Will through a dating app and they begin an online romance. After months of constant requests, Lana relents and agrees to meet and go on an irl date with Will. But is Will who he says he is? Lana is quickly pulled into an intense relationship forcing her to confront her tragic past. Will Lana face it or will she close her heart forever?

Pairing: OMC x OFC

Word Count: approx 2.6k

Warnings: swearing, mention of death, angst

Authors Note: The story started as a Henry Cavill fanfiction but I changed it to be an original character, but shades of Henry are still there. Hope you enjoy the story and thanks for reading.

Part 12 Part 14

Part 13

Liam said we should drive to the restaurant. I wanted to get an Uber because I didn't think we would get a car park close to the restaurant. The shoes I was wearing were not made for walking.

"We don't have to worry about the car. They have a valet service," Liam said when I suggested an Uber would be better.

Of course, they do. I don't think I've ever used a valet service in my life, and Liam tells me like it's an everyday thing. I suppose it is for him. Earlier in the week, I was amazed to find out that he gets driven to work most days even though he only lives about 10 minutes away. No wonder movies and tv shows are so expensive to make if they have to pay for things like drivers on top of everything else.

I was excited about going in his car, though. I was itching to drive it. I wanted to ask him if I could, but I didn't. As stupid as it was, I was scared he'd say no. Every guy who had said no to letting me drive his car ended up being a prick. So I was floored when he said I could drive if I wanted.

"Really?" I asked. I was practically bouncing with excitement.

"Yeah, you seemed to like it. I was going to ask if you wanted to take it out before we got..." Liam paused, seemingly to look for the right word. "Distracted."

I clapped my hands and squealed like a child. I'm such a dag, but I was excited. I'd never driven a car that fast or expensive before.

The drive was exhilarating but too short. Its 5.0 litre, supercharged V8 engine was insanely powerful, and since it was AWD, its handling took me a bit to get used to. When we got to the restaurant, I couldn't stop smiling. "Thank you! That was heaps good!"

"You're hilarious."

"Why? What did I do?" I asked, getting out of the car and handing the keys to the valet and thanking him.

"Don't think I didn't notice that you deliberately went the long way and on the highway so you could drive faster."

"I don't know what you're talking about." I widened my eyes and tried to look innocent.

Liam just shook his head and placed his hand on my back, guiding me into the restaurant.

The food was modern Australian, Liam had a scotch fillet and salad, and I had barramundi. Liam wasn't drinking and said he would drive home. I had a couple of glasses of white wine and felt a bit sauced.

I had trouble staying awake on the way back to Liam's, and eventually, the rumble of the engine lulled me into sleep. The wine combined with the stressful week had caught up with me. I woke up when Liam pulled into the garage.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to doze off," I said as we got out of the car.

"Never mind," Liam said. "Come on, let's go to bed."

We walked across Liam's backyard holding hands. I looked around as the first time I was lead through here, I only had eyes for Liam. It was big for a house so close to the city. "You have a pool? I wish you would have told me. I would have brought my swimmers."

Liam opened his back door. "You don't need bathers," he said winking. I blushed then yawned. "Poor princess. Do you want a shower? Or straight to bed?"

I nodded, "yeah, a shower would be good. I've gotta wash this makeup off too." I kicked my heels off. The relief was euphoric, my calves were sore, and I rubbed them as I bent to pick up my shoes.

"Want a bath instead?" Liam asked, noticing my massage. It was sweet that he noticed little things like that. "The bathroom on the third floor has an enormous bath. I haven't had a chance to use it yet."

"Fuck, yes! That would be awesome. What other crazy shit do you have in this place? I think you'd better give me a tour tomorrow."

Liam laughed as we went up the lift. "Yeah, ok, there's a couple of things you might like that I've not shown you yet."

The bathroom was stunning, like a hotel or spa. The bath was the hero piece of the room, and it was huge. It sat in the middle of the bathroom on a raised platform and had tiled steps around it. The whole room was decorated to be a romantic space, a couples bathroom. Candles and body wash sat by the bath, and the room's lighting was warm. Robes hung on the wall near the tub. Although there were a shower and sinks, there was no toilet. The room was definitely built for romance, not practicality.

"I thought you said you hadn't used this bathroom."

"I haven't." I pointed out the candles, soaps, towels and robes. "A stylist got all that, fitted out each room with basics so I can move in, and it's all done." My jaw dropped.

"Your life..."

"Isn't normal." He interrupted with a half-smile. "I know." Liam started the bath. "Do you need anything? Your toiletry bag? Toothbrush?"

I nodded. Liam kissed me as he left to get my stuff. The bath would probably take 20 minutes to fill, so I thought I'd wash my make-up off and brush my teeth while it did. I got undressed and put one of the robes on. They were both huge, no his and hers, but it was warm and soft.

Liam returned, and I started to wash up. I put my hair in a bun with a scrunchy and washed my face. I brushed my teeth and saw that Liam was sitting on the edge of the bath, still fully clothed, watching the water fill up.

"You're not getting in?" I asked with a mouthful of toothbrush and toothpaste. Liam looked at me confused, so I finished brushing, rinsed and repeated my question.

Liam turned the water off, bath finally full and got up. "I thought maybe you'd like to soak by yourself for a while."

"No," I said. I wrapped my arms around Liam's waist, feeling short again as my head rested against his chest. "I want you to get in with me."

He lifted my chin and kissed me softly, almost lazily. "Alright, Sweetheart."

I lifted his jumper and raised it over his head. Liam had to help by ducking. He sat and took his shoes and socks off and then stood to remove his pants. I hung my robe back up, and we both got in the water. I sat between his legs and laid my back against his chest, my head resting on his shoulder. The water was bliss, almost too hot but soothing. Liam had put some fragrance in the water, and it smelled of lavender. Breathing it in relaxed me, and I closed my eyes.

Liam nuzzled into my neck and caressed my arm. I smiled as he kissed my neck and shoulders until I felt him stir against my back. He stopped kissing me, and he just held me close to his chest like he was trying not to get turned on. It didn't seem to be working as I could still feel him, but I admired his efforts.

"Lana, I want to ask you something," Liam said. His timbre was soft but echoed slightly through the room, making his words seem more ominous than he probably meant them to be.

My body tensed slightly, and hesitantly I said, "Okay."

He cleared his throat, and I realised he was nervous. I don't think I had heard him unsure like that before. I felt cold. "I uh, I have a premiere to attend on Thursday evening, one of Myra's. Tom, my agent, set it up." Oh fuck. He's not going to ask me to go with him, is he? "I would very much like it if you came with me." I sat up quickly, and water splashed everywhere. "Sarah said that since the cats out of the bag and I'm serious about you, you should come too." He added quickly.

I looked back at him, furious. "Why would you ask me that?"

"Because you're my fucking girlfriend." He was also mad now.

"I'm not your fucking girlfriend." I stood up and got out of the bath. I almost slipped on the tiles as I did. His hand shot out to steady me, but I pulled my arm out of his grasp. I stomped over to the robes and pulled one on. Then I grabbed my clothes from the floor.

"What are you doing?" Liam asked, getting out himself. He didn't put his robe on, and he just stood there. I don't know why, but that seemed to make me angrier.

"Getting my shit and going home."

"What the fuck, Lana? Why?"

I grabbed my bag and went to leave and found him blocking my way. "Because I want to, that's why. Get out of my way."

"What's wrong with you?"

"Just piss off."

"No, tell me what's wrong. Why don't you want to be seen with me? Why don't you want to be my girlfriend? I don't understand." He was shouting now, his voice full of anger and frustration. "You treat me like a fuck toy one minute, and the next, you're treating me like we've been married for ten years. What do you want from me? You say you aren't my girlfriend, but you sure act like you are. If you just want to fuck me, fine. Come over and fuck me, then leave. But don't lay with me and cuddle all day, cook me food, confide in me, talk to me at night until you fall asleep and make me fall in love with you. I can't take that."

For a moment, I softened. In so many ways, Liam was right. We had fallen into this relationship so easily. I felt like I knew him because we talked for months before meeting. I did enjoy hanging out with him talking. He's often felt like home to me, a safe place, a person I could trust. He was my boyfriend in everything but name. He saw the change in me and moved towards me.

I stiffened, "No, fuck you. Don't put this on me. I told you to go slow. I told you I don't want a relationship in the spotlight, and you won't listen to me." My frustration poured out. "You lured me in under false pretences with no thought about how I would feel. Like having the great Liam Cross interested in you would be enough. You're so fucking self-centred. I'm not impressed by all this," I waved my hand around the room, "Or that," I waved my hand at his naked body. "For fuck's sake, put some fucking clothes on. You're not that attractive."

Liam looked over at the robes and saw how far away they were. He shook his head. "I think we need to talk, Lana. You can't run away from this."

"You can't keep me here." He just raised an eyebrow. I gasped horrified. "You wouldn't?"

His body tensed, and he looked like he was going to try to stop me for a minute. But then his shoulders slumped, and he stepped aside.

"Thank you," I said through gritted teeth as I walked out.

I took the stairs down to his room and got dressed. He followed me, still naked and dripping water. I thought he would try to keep talking to me, but he went straight to his dressing room.

When he came out, he wore tracksuit pants, his chest was bare, and he still had beads of water clinging to his chest. My traitorous eyes looked him up and down, and I noticed it looked like he wasn't wearing underwear. Fuck me. He was magnificent. I tore my eyes away and back to packing my bag. I wasn't going to let his body distract me.

"Please, Lana, just talk to me."

"What's the point?"

"The point is so you'll let me in. You talk to me, you tell me things about you, and just as it cuts close to the bone, you clam up."

"I'm my own person, Liam. I'm allowed to have secrets." My bag was packed, and I stood up with it.

"Why didn't you tell me about Andy and your father's car accident? I had to read about it on the fucking internet."

I felt like I had been punched in the guts. I felt both hot and cold waves flow over me, and for a moment, I thought I was going to throw up.

"You're a fucking prick." I was raging.

"Alright, Lana, have it your way. Go back to being miserable and alone. Go put your wedding ring back on because obviously, you'd rather stay in love with a dead man than be seen with me." He was still shouting. Liam's body was taught, so much tension in his muscles. His lips almost looked cruel, twisted up into a sneer. His eyebrows were drawn low, making his eyes seem small.

"Yeah, you're right. I would. I shouldn't be here with you." I was near screaming now. I was irrational, tired, slightly drunk and drained. "I should be miserable and alone, and I should be thankful for that. It's my fucking fault he's dead. I fucking killed him. It should have been me. It's my fault..." I sobbed. The tears started, and I knew they couldn't be stopped. "Oh God, it's my fault." I couldn't breathe. I dropped my bag and clawed at my shirt, trying to get a breath. I was on my knees, now fighting the panic that threatened to overwhelm me.

Liam's arms came around me. I tried to push him away, fight him. He was too strong. "Shhhh shhh." He tried to soothe me. He rubbed my back. I wanted to scream at him to go away, to leave me alone. He wouldn't let go. He held me tighter until I couldn't fight anymore and just let myself go. He pulled me onto his lap, and I curled up into him as he whispered, "You're ok. It's ok." I kept sobbing until I clutched at his neck and cried into him.

I don't know how long we sat there. It felt like hours. "I'm sorry," I said when I had calmed. My throat was sore. I don't think I could have spoken any louder.

"Don't be. I shouldn't have pushed you. You were right. I was being selfish."

"I should have told you before you found out. It still hurts. I can deal with them being gone, but I can't get past the guilt. I should have been in the car with Dad. Andy was doing me a favour because I was too tired from Christmas. I wanted a day off, you know? A day where I didn't have to deal with people." My throat was feeling raw, and my mouth was dry.

"You don't have to tell me."

"No, I do. Just let me get through it, ok?" He nodded and pulled me into a more comfortable position on his lap. "I was supposed to take my Dad to Dave's house for a second Christmas. My parents had split up a couple of years ago. I fought with my mum the day before and didn't want to go through it all again the next day. My Dad couldn't drive anymore; his eyes were too bad. So Andy said he'd drop him off and I could stay in bed. He said he would tell them I had a migraine. So I laid in bed sleeping while my father and husband laid on the road, dying, trapped under a truck."

"I'm so sorry," Liam said. "I don't know how I would deal with that either. But it's not your fault. You know that, right?"

I didn't say anything. Liam was quiet after that. But he didn't let me go.

Part 14

[babieyangyang10]

violent ends (chapter 11)

(chapter 11)

series masterlist

genre: hunger games!au

pairings: huang renjun x oc, na jaemin x oc

warnings: language, death, description of injuries, hallucinations, important character death,

previous | next

Athena's POV

It was quick the way he died. Before Haechan fell forward, his left eye cried tears of blood. There was nothing on his face, no acknowledgement or realisation of what just occurred. No evidence of any previous life in his face.

Just nothing.

People always say that your entire life flashes before your eyes once you die. However, there was not even enough time for that. No time to remember the eighteen years he once lived. He was just gone.

Mark Lee and I sprung forward. Once the corpse was thrown off him, Mark lifted up Jisung from the water. The young boy bent over and began coughing up the water in his lungs.

Once he finished, you could tell the reality of what just happened to him was sinking in. Frantically looking around, he saw Haechan laying face-down in the water, blood flowing out from his wound. Going pale, Jisung silently grabbed the body and flipped him over. He ripped his hand away and would've screamed if it wasn't for my hand covering his mouth.

Not used to injuries, Jisung was practically hyperventilating at the site of my throwing knife lodged in one of the body's lifeless eyes,

"Jisung, it's okay. Don't look at it." I brought my hand down and closed the remaining eye, thinking it would help. It didn't.

"Oh my god. What did you do?!" Jisung was about to throw up.

Mark looked around nervously, before saying, "She saved you. Quick, let's go." He grabbed the distressed boy's arm and pulled him to his feet.

After we had gotten a good distance away, I could hear the cannon go off.

"That could've been me." Jisung mumbled to himself in disbelief. He looked really bad. Almost as if he could go off the deep end any second. I mean, the kid has came to the brink of death twice in the span of only two days.

Trying to lighten his spirits, I suggest, "You're a lucky kid, aren't you?"

He considers my words before murmuring, "Yeah, I guess so."

Chenle's POV

I think I'm the unluckiest kid in the world, right now.

As the Careers and Jaemin start yapping away, I take this opportunity to look around the tree for something to help us escape. Alarmed, I look around where Jaemin is perched to see a raccoon sized nest. Swaying gently, I peek around to discreetly get a better look. Immediately, the bright gold body captures my eye.

No, these aren't just any wasps, they're tracker jackers.

Made in the Captiol's labs, they were placed directly in the districts during the war. Tracker Jackers were named according to their ability to 'track' down and hunt anyone who comes into contact with them. If they bite you, most likely you'll die. Even if you don't, most people will go mad from experiencing the hallucinations from the venom.

Our options are: we let Haechan come back and kill us or possibly die from these creatures. Reaching behind Jaemin, I discreetly began sawing away at the limb carrying the nest with my knife. Both Jaemin and the people below were too wrapped up in the conversation to notice what I was doing.

I kept sawing back and forth. Suddenly, a tracker jacker came calmly out of the nest. Holding my breath, I watch as it walks onto an unaware Jaemin's hand. Unable to warn him, I just speed up as quick as I can. More and more tracker jackers began leaving the nest to check out what was happening. Back, forth! Back, forth! Another jacker lands on Jaemin's shoulder.

Then there was a cannon.

The nest fell down right after. I could hear Jaemin yelp, however, I just pulled him out of the tree and bolt. I could hear the two Careers yelling above the buzzing from the army of angry wasps.

Once we've ran far from the chaos, I stopped to check on Jaemin. Right away, I noticed the plump-sized lumps on his neck and hand.

"I'm Jaemin," He slurs, "Nice to meet you, sir."

Oh my god.

Jaemin squints his eyes, trying to focus, "I have to admit. I've never met a three-headed, green person before. Are there others like you?"

It was almost dark, we have to get home, now. I grab him and began running again. Once we get to camp, I spot Mark, Athena, and Jisung all sitting down.

"Jaemin, got stung by tracker jackers!" I'm out of breath. Lee Athena immediately runs over to us, stopping in front of the disoriented boy.

"Athena, is that you?" His eyes are excited, but confused. The girl grabs his hand and quickly removes the stinger and does the same to his swollen neck. Green pus seems out from the now orange-sized bumps.

"I think-" His eyes roll over to the back of his head and Athena barely manages to catch him before he falls to the ground. Mark runs over and helps her carry him into the shack.

The next day, she took care of him. Every few hours, she would grind up a special leaf to put on the wounds.

She knew a lot about the wilderness. While Mark stayed to watch Jaemin, she would take Jisung and I out to practice hunting. It was nice learning, especially since I have always felt bad for relying on Mark so much. Not only does he have to take care of himself, but he also has to make sure two, weak kids don't die as well. After capturing a rabbit this morning, I felt happy knowing I got to help ease the pressure, even if it's just small.

"Good job, Chenle." He praised, making my heart swell. We were all sitting around the fire.

"I bet I'll get a even bigger one tomorrow." Jisung challenged, making us all chuckle.

Eventually, the conversation led to us talking about living in our different districts.

"Yeah, I swear all District 10 has is cows and desert. Although, I got to grow up with a lot of different animals, which was really fun." I explained.

"I wish I could see a desert, but we have that fence keeping us in District 11. Growing up, a lot of us had to climb trees in the orchards for fruit, which could be pretty fun. Although, it wasn't fun when you'd occasionally run into the tracker jackers." Jisung winced in remembrance.

"At least you guys have the orchards, District 12 is really small. When you turn eighteen, you work for the coal mines. Food is pretty hard to get also. To get grain and oil, I had to enter my name into the Reaping about forty times." We all gasped aloud  at Mark.

"I have a question that I've always wanted to ask," Jisung announced, "I've seen District 12 do that think with the three fingers so many times. What does it actually mean?"

"It's been around forever, I guess. It's a sign of love and respect to show thankfulness for someone or something. Sometimes we use it to say goodbye. That's what everyone did to me, when I left after the Reaping." Mark explained to him.

Jisung kissed his three fingers and held them up in the air, "Well, I love and respect all of you."

All four of us, Mark, Jisung, Athena, and myself, giggled and did the salute to each-other before heading off to sleep.

Athena's POV

It's now been two days, since Jaemin has first been stung. The swelling has gone completely down, however, he still has a bit of a fever and hasn't woken up.

The most nerve wracking part is that, until he wakes up, I can't feed him anything. I can't even give him water to drink. It's not like real life, where he would have a feeding tube. Even we were alone, we barely got anything to eat. Gosh, it really is so easy to die of hunger in here.

Today, the boys wanted to show off their new hunting skills to Mark. So, it was just Jaemin and I at the camp. Apart from Haechan, none of the other Careers have shown up in the sky so far. So, I have no idea if Renjun is the same way as Jaemin. However, his health shouldn't be of my concern, anyway.

Since they are just two members now, Mark and I have been discussing an attack on them. After he snuck to their territory, he saw that they have pilled up all the supplies. Protecting them are random mines, which, if you stepped wrong, could easily blow you up to pieces.

Instead of risking stepping on a mine by trying to fight them directly, we thought we should find a way to blow up the pile of supplies. That way, they'll starve themselves out.

Suddenly, I notice Jaemin stir. His eyes are confused and wide. He looks around his surroundings, before he sees me next to him.

"Athena!" His voice is excited and relieved, yet weak. His hand shoots out to grab mine.

I sigh, "You've been out for two days, you know."

"Are you serious?" He looks around again, "Wait, where are we?"

"We're at Mark's camp. Chenle brought you back." I said, knowing he probably doesn't remember anything.

I hear a pleasant beeping noise, which makes me nearly burst with happiness. Near our feet, a box drops. Inside is a container of warm soup and a spoon.

Knowing he was still in bad shape, I grab the spoon and scooped up some soup to feed to him. Smiling, he accepted the food. His eyes shut in delight, finally getting to eat a real meal.

He happily suggests, “You should eat some."

I know he hasn’t eaten for two whole days. This makes me feel warm, knowing that, even though he’s literally starving, he would still offer me it.

"I think Jisung and Chenle would kill me if I didn't eat what they catch,” I laugh before getting serious, “Besides, you really need it right now."

He’s disappointed, but still continues eating.

Concerned, I ask, "So, are you doing okay? I mean those hallucinations can be really messed up."

"I mean, apart from the trees turning into blood and thinking ants were eating me, I'm fine. Especially, since your here now." Jaemin laughs.

I shake my head, smiling at the ground.

"I mean it, though. I felt so bad after I lost you. If I had known you stopped, I would've gone back for you, Athena,” He stops me, “You know that right?"

"Well, I did have your supplies." I point out.

He provides clarity, "Supplies or not, you're still a priority to me. That's just not even a question at this point."

I felt a deep pang in my chest. There’s so many things I want to say. On instinct, with both of my palms, I hold his face in my hands,"If there wasn't cameras on us right now, I would-"

Jaemin breathes out, "Who's stopping you?"

His eyes darted down to my lips, then back up to my eyes. I checked his face to see if there was any hint of joking, yet his eyes were filled with warmth. It occurred to me that he was feeling the same need and want that I was. Like if I were in a black hole, I felt myself being pulled closer and closer into him.

"Hey Athena, look what I caught—oh,uh?"

Jisung, stares in shock, at the close proximity between Jaemin and I's faces.

I jump up, brushing myself off, "Come on, kid. Let's go see it."

Jisung brought me outside to see Mark and Chenle by the fire.

“Jaemin is awake.” I announced to the two boys.

“That’s really good.” I could tell Chenle had felt guilty about him getting stung.

Mark proposed, “Well, today I was thinking that we should go destroy the supplies.”

Chenle eagerly asked, “Can I help?”

“Well, I guess you could help us by starting fires with me to lead them away from the Cornocopia.” Mark turned to Jisung, “Jisung, could you stay with Jaemin?”

“What’s going on?” Jaemin popped his head out of the shack.

“We’re going to destroy Jeno and Renjun’s supplies.” I caught him up.

His eyebrows are furrowed, “Are you going?”

“Of course.” I nod, plainly.

After we ate, I headed into the shack to get my backpack. On the ground, Jaemin was looking up at me unhappily, completely different from how he usually looks at me.

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

“It’s just,” He sighs, “every time we’re separated, something bad always happens.”

“Well, you still need to rest, besides I’ll have Mark with me.” I lie. Mark will be separated from me, but I didn’t want to stress him out.

“You better come back. I’m serious.” He deadpans.

“Okay, Na Jaemin.”

I brush his hair out of his face. He’s not aware, but I can’t help but thinking the way he’s looking at me reminds me of a lost puppy, “I mean it.”

“I know.” I smile.

Then, Mark, Chenle, and I began heading towards the Cornocopia. As we’re walking, I notice Mark fiddling with something on his jacket.

“What’s that?” I ask, intrigued.

“It’s a mockingjay pin.” He states. The pin contained the small golden bird with an ring around it. It’s connected to the ring only by its wing tips.

Mockingjays were the result of a failed project by the Capitol to spy on the rebellious districts. Because of this, they have become a symbol for the rebellion. It’s almost as if they are rubbing it in the Capitol’s faces.

“I like it,” I beam up at him, “It suits you.”

“I think so too. It’s cool.” Chenle gushes.

Mark blushes before coming to a stop, “This is where we separate. Chenle, after I set the fire, wait a little before setting yours. That way they’ll think it’s real and definitely come to yours.

All alone, I hide beneath the trees as I come to a stop in front of the Cornocopia. Sitting to the right of the supplies, were a group of boys. Along with Jeno and Renjun, I spotted a boy from District 3. I’m assuming he’s Haechan’s replacement.

“Guy’s look!” Jeno points out. There, hidden in the tree’s, Mark has created a fire. The smoke created a cloud in the sky right above his position.

“Let’s go, Renjun. Guard the place, until we get back.” Jeno tells the young boy.

Once they’re gone, I grab into my backpack and pull out knife. Getting ready to throw, I rear back my hand.

However, from the left, a figure darts out from the woods. Avoiding the piles of buried mines, she is calculated and precise. From the pile, the red-head grabs an armful of supplies and runs past the District 3 boy.

As a result, he stood up and began chasing her into the woods. Perfect.

I scan the pile, looking for something I could knock down to trigger the mines. That way, I would be kept safe from the blast. At the very top is a bag of bright red and green apples.

Taking a deep breath, I throw a knife as hard as I can. It manages to make a rip in the bag, but not big enough for the fruit to fall through.

So, I grab another one. I calm myself down, before I launch my second one. Almost in slow motion, I watch as an single apple drops from the fresh hole. Rolling forward, it halts on top of one of the piles.

One after the other, all of the mines are triggered. Before I can react, I am thrown back by the incredible force. I can feel ash and debris raining down on my head. In my head and ears, I can hear a sharp buzzing. With my fingers, I could feel blood coming out of my left ear.

Running back from the woods, Renjun and Jeno meet the District 3 boy in the middle. I was able to see if Jeno had even said anything. Although, even over the buzzing, I could hear the crack of the boys neck after Jeno snapped it.

Alarmed, I run back into the woods to hide. Blinking, I could feel my sight and hearing slowly coming back.

“Help!” I hear a young voice. Wow, that was quick. The Careers already found another victim.

“Mark! Athena!”

Chenle!

I run, following the shouts. Not even caring if I was about to run face first into a planned trap. His shouts continue and I feel can feel the quick tempo of my heart.

When I force my way into a clearing, I spot the young boy entrapped in a net on the grown. He stops struggling and smiles in relief when he spots me in front of him.

However, it fades when the arrow lodges straight into his chest.

To my left, I look just in time to see Mark shoot an arrow into the neck of the other District 12 tribute. Using my knife, I quickly cut Chenle free from the net. Mark runs over, propping him up in his arms. Blood is seeping through his shirt. I look up at Mark, giving him a telling look.

“Is it bad?” He doesn’t have enough strength to look down. I don’t know what to say.

“I never imagined I would go like this.” His voice is shaky, but knowing.

The cannon for the District 12 girl goes off.

Chenle reaches for my hand, “Please, don’t leave me.”

With my free hand, I wipe some of his tears, “I’m not going anywhere.”

“Did you blow up the supplies?” His voice is in a hopeful whisper.

“All of it.” He smiles at this.

Looking up at Mark and me, Chenle breathes out, “Thank you both. For protecting me. Even in these circumstances, these past days have been some of the best days of my life thanks to you.”

I feel my throat become choked up. This wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to get attached to these people, who are supposed to be my competition. But I did and I don’t regret any of it for a damn second.

There’s fear in his eyes, “You two, don’t forget me, okay?”

“Never.” Mark and I say.

Then he’s gone.

It takes a few minutes for it to sink in for the two of us. For us to realize this boy, who was speaking a few minutes ago and laughing with us yesterday, was gone forever. I look up to see Mark distraught with the same realisation, “It’s not fair. He was just a kid.”

“I can’t just leave him here. He deserves better than that.” I agree with Mark’s words. Looking around, I spot violet, blue, and white wildflowers. I began loading my arms up with the flowers. With Mark’s help, we placed the flowers all around him.

How dare they. It’s shameful that they would do this to an innocent child. Not just him, but all of us children.

Placing my arm on his shoulder, I try to comfort Mark. Like a switch going off, he bursts into tears. I know it has been hard, the weight of caring for three people. I wrap him in my arms and cry with him.

It’s only before we leave does he turn around suddenly. After kissing his three fingers, he held them out in his direction. Myself doing the same, we both say goodbye to our friend, Chenle.

[punkscowardschampions]

Amelia & Jac

Amelia: [okay so I'll put here what we said, for Jac's 18th Savannah sent her some flowers and Amelia binned them, obviously a big fight ensued and they haven't interacted from then in September to now which is nearly Christmas until Amelia sends her a christmas gift of the gay book with a portrait of Jac inside that'll just fall out when she picks it up and a chanel lipstick of some cute shade or other] Jac: [my vibe was if it was left on the step, leaving the book out there and taking the lipstick to send a message 'cos assumedly we'll walk past at some point as we live central] Amelia: [love that] Jac: If you were gonna take it upon yourself to decide I didn't want Savannah's gift, you should have also realised the same rule would apply to yourself Amelia: maybe Jac: No, you should have Jac: you wasted your money and time Amelia: I've got nothing else to do with either, so it hardly matters Jac: I'm not your distraction Jac: leave me alone Amelia: no, you're way more than that Amelia: but okay Jac: I don't have the energy for this Amelia: I didn't do this to force a conversation with you Jac: right Amelia: you're right, I shouldn't have got you anything Jac: you really shouldn't Jac: I don't want anything from you Amelia: alright, message received Jac: for fuck's sake Amelia: What do you want me to say? Amelia: it's been months, I miss you, I hate this Jac: You're about a lifetime too late for any of this Jac: things change Amelia: just go then Jac: Don't tell me what to do Jac: you haven't even apologized Amelia: because you're the only one who can tell me what I should or shouldn't do, okay then Jac: I declined your gift because I don't fucking want it Jac: that's my decision Jac: you can't force it on me Amelia: like it was my decision to get you one, even if you don't fucking want it Amelia: like it's my decision not to apologise when I'm not sorry Jac: it wasn't your decision to make Amelia: I know that Jac: She reached out to me Jac: and you ruined it Amelia: she didn't reach out, it was a cop out Jac: she remembered Jac: she didn't have to do anything Amelia: she didn't do anything Amelia: not even sign her name Amelia: fuck's sake,  and you're mad at ME for my lack of apology Jac: Yes she did, she sent my favourite flowers Jac: and yes I'm fucking mad at you, you don't even know what you started Amelia: at least hold her to the same standard Jac: No, because you aren't the same Jac: and this gift meant something to me, the gesture did Jac: and you couldn't stand that so you took it away Amelia: the false hope meant something to you Amelia: of course I can't stand that Jac: there's nothing false about it Jac: she was never here for my birthday before, not as my friend, she had no reason to remember, I'm blocked on anything that would tell her Amelia: because it's so hard to get around being blocked Jac: so, that would just prove she cared enough to look Jac: either way, that meant something Amelia: it doesn't mean she's coming back Amelia: or dumping her boyfriend Jac: it still means more to me than anything you could ever give or do Jac: so you deal with that Amelia: I can't Jac: You'll find my sympathy running a bit low Amelia: that's how I always find it Jac: I don't have the space in my head or my life to care about you Jac: alright, and I've never said different Amelia: yeah you have Jac: when? Jac: a million years ago when we were kids Jac: life's moved on from then Amelia: this year, things have happened that mean something, you've made space for me and cared about me Amelia: I don't need words, you lie whenever you speak anyway Amelia: and yeah, that's how long it's been, that's she's been gone and I've been here for you Amelia: you can't deal with that any better than you're telling me I have to Jac: I've only cared about myself Jac: that's facts Jac: you've been of some use and that's about as deep as it gets Jac: ask anyone, Amelia Amelia: No Jac: Yes Amelia: you love to make me look and feel crazy but I'm actually not Jac: because normal people throw other people's presents away Amelia: you know why I did Jac: and normal people let themselves be treated like this Jac: yeah, you're so right Amelia: there's a massive gap between normal and the levels of delusional you're trying to make me out to be right now Jac: I'm not trying to make you out to be anything Jac: I'm trying to get you to leave me alone, at best Amelia: and I've said I will Jac: then go Amelia: [does] Amelia: [gonna take this moment to tell you what the book is, We Are Okay by Nina LaCour it's obvs gay and YA again but we've lost the optimism of the previous Christmas because this one is about grief and loss and loneliness, basically this girl leaves her life behind without saying a word (again to go to college lol) after her grandad dies but then her friend who she's in love with and who I think is straight comes to visit her there so she gotta start dealing with all her shit, very apt Amelia well done. I think it does have a happy ending for said main character based on the title but not a fluffy one and she isn't getting with that friend I'm p sure] Amelia: [In clearer terms, this is a book about Marin, a girl who has lost her grandfather, and in doing so, pushed away her former best friend, Mabel. So when Mabel comes to town, Marin does not know what to do with the memories. Marin at once does not want Mabel here, regrets her being here, but also desperately wants Mabel to love her. She has walls up and she wants them down, but she is too terrified for them to ever come down. Marin has lost everything, including Mabel, her best friend and her maybe-something-more.  But it’s not a romance between Marin and Mabel. That is what is perhaps the saddest part. I once saw Nina LaCour talk live about this book, and she said something that perfectly sums up what is so arresting about this book: being queer and in love with your best friend is different than being straight and in love with your best friend. One is an experience in first love, and one is also that, but with an added experience of fear – not of rejection but of disgust. We do not want to hurt our best friends by loving them. We have learned to be ashamed of love and we carry that with us, through thick and through thin. BYE] Jac: [well, v on the nose, soz we won't be reading that hun and we didn't read the last one, so rude] Amelia: [maybe years from now bitch you will and you'll see what we were trying to give you] Jac: [perhaps but clearly not this one as it has essentially washed away lmao] Amelia: [something v poetic about a book about grief and loss and loneliness getting left on the step to disintegrate, when this is a film or netflix show I'll be v smug] Jac: [truly, the drama of it all] Jac: [setting it on fire is so last year, anyway, my thought is Amelia sees Jac and Jesse out somewhere but not out out like somewhere boring and every day which is confusing as it was to the fam 'cos she knows she's not talking or hanging out with them so she's like hmm] Amelia: [good idea but I don't know how I'm gonna be like oi what are you doing when it's none of your business hen LOL] Jac: [Jesse could talk to her 'cos we've established doesn't take a hint and it's like the most awkward] Amelia: [yeah because they are gonna be lowkey friends off and on even though she said they weren't after the vday thing last year so and maybe she asks about his gig he's meant to be doing or whatever cos he would've had to announce he ain't doing it on socials and everything like] Jac: [Jac just casually snapping at her like mind yo business Amelia] Amelia: [I'll pick the convo up after that fun little interaction then] Jac: [when you shoulda said nothing but it came out henny] Amelia: Don't talk to me like that Jac: Don't talk to my brother how's that Amelia: redundant Amelia: because I'll talk to him whenever I like as long as he's not the one upset about it Jac: Yeah, you've established you're a liar before now Amelia: No, we've established I have nothing to gain by keeping any promises to you Jac: and I give a fuck about what you wanna take from me Jac: you need to disappear, I don't want you in my life now, not even peripherally Amelia: I don't wanna take anything from you and I'm not Amelia: but disappearing isn't an option for a bit Jac: Contradict yourself immediately, it's really not a waste of my time Amelia: You're wasting your own time by continuing to have a go at me Amelia: when school's over we'll both be leaving, until then we're both stuck Jac: It wouldn't be a waste of time if you actually listened Amelia: likewise Jac: to what? Amelia: me obviously Jac: you have nothing I've ever wanted to hear Jac: and you're continuing to talk more bullshit now Jac: literally, mind your own business, it should not be hard Amelia: neither should getting your head around the concept that me talking to Jess isn't about you Jac: he isn't your friend Jac: he's my brother, I trump any kind of connection you had or wanna have for whatever sad reason Jac: so yeah, fuck off Amelia: if you want to make him choose, give him your bullshit ultimatum, I won't be Jac: No, you leave us alone Jac: it's like having a fucking stalker Jac: I am sick of the sight of you Amelia: I have left you alone like you asked Amelia: he's asked me to do no such thing Jac: You're pathetic Jac: get some friends of your own and you wouldn't have to cling on to someone being civil towards you Amelia: I've heard it all before Jac: then take the hint Jac: I'm so fed up of you and your moping Amelia: then take the 'advice' you're trying to give me and fuck off Jac: you see me coming, you should turn the other way Jac: I did not need to see you today, fuck's sake Amelia: yeah, I'll turn my desk around too, get back into detention, it has been a while Amelia: I wasn't looking for you, I don't want to see you either Jac: then it's in your best interest to run when you see Jesse coming then Jac: so glad you reached the logical conclusion, try to do it at the time next time, tah Amelia: bye then Jac: you're unbelievable Jac: you don't even feel remotely bad for what you've done Amelia: of course I fucking do Jac: bullshit Amelia: No it's not Amelia: but I'm not going to sit here and type out how and why I feel like shit when it means nothing Jac: you aren't sorry, you said, and you've not made any kind of attempt to actually make amends, not that you can now, it's too late Jac: it's all about how you feel and that you miss me and whatever else Jac: you don't care what I've been through Amelia: I'm not sorry for 🗑💐 but I'm sorry for hurting you Amelia: and that this means I'm not there now for whatever is happening Amelia: like you said, it's too late now Amelia: and like you also said, even if I was there, it's not good enough anyway so Jac: because this isn't some soppy book you read Jac: you aren't gonna save me and it'll all be happily ever afters Jac: this is real life and it's so much bigger than all this Jac: shit that you care about Amelia: yeah, it's my real life too Jac: none of this is real Jac: you're putting off getting one by kidding yourself that this will ever happen Amelia: it is to me Jac: just wait Jac: you'll find out soon enough Jac: this is nothing, all of it Amelia: maybe to you Jac: no fucking maybe Jac: you're a child, your problems are childish Jac: that's factual and I can't pretend to entertain it now Amelia: then don't Amelia: my problems aren't the same as yours because I'm not you any more than I could be Savannah fucking Moore, but guess what, it's not a competition Jac: they're non-existent Amelia: No, they exist, same as I do Amelia: but you don't have to bother about them or me Jac: Get over yourself, Amelia Jac: people have real shit going on, real stuff to deal with Jac: and you want anyone to care about your self-inflicted, whiney, entitled bullshit Jac: for what? 'cos you're an AMAZING friend, yeah, you don't use everything to your advantage or make it all about you Amelia: not really, I want you get away from me like you keep saying you want Jac: I didn't send you a present, loser Amelia: I didn't start a conversation about it Amelia: or keep this one going Jac: because you should feel fucking bad about what you did and you don't Jac: not even an eighth of what I do Amelia: I do feel bad, what do you want me to do to prove it, kill myself? For fuck's sake Jac: yeah good idea Amelia: nothing is good enough for you Amelia: you'd even twist that into something it isn't Jac: fucking try it Jac: I don't want you around Amelia: okay Jac: my life is ruined Jac: you don't get to be okay, you don't get to care about your pathetic crush Amelia: you don't get to tell me what to do or how to feel because your life is ruined Jac: Yes I do Amelia: No you don't Jac: really 'cos you've been pretty easy to manipulate this far Jac: don't act as if you've had say in anything Jac: that's about the only use you have had Amelia: well it's over, all of it Jac: call it like it hasn't been for months on my say so Jac: what is the point of you being alive, actually Amelia: I don't know Amelia: my parents, I guess Jac: good luck with getting that to last then Amelia: 🤞🍀🌠 Jac: give you 'til your late 20s before that stops being enough Amelia: it already isn't Jac: like I said, find some real trauma like the rest of us Jac: gives you something to cling to Amelia: or more to collapse under the weight of Jac: you don't even want to survive Amelia: and what? Jac: and that's the fundamental reason Savannah is better than you Jac: and I am too Jac: all I have is the shit behind me to drive me forwards Jac: and your ideal is to wallow in it Amelia: you've got a million reasons why, I don't care how they're numbered, to be honest Jac: you deserve the nothing you're left with and the nothingness that's coming Amelia: that's worked out perfectly then Jac: I swear to God you're lucky he was there Jac: any other day Amelia: yeah Amelia: you know what lessons to find me in Jac: I'm taking time off Jac: so you can have them Amelia: I really am lucky Amelia: maybe it'll make me care about 20 years in the future, like you do, or 5 or 1 Amelia: drive me forwards too Jac: unlikely Amelia: right now it is Amelia: I'm just trying to get through this conversation Jac: Jesus Amelia: my 🤔💭 exactly Jac: you clueless bitch Amelia: what am I supposed to be clued into? Amelia: we haven't spoken for ages Jac: and that's hardly a mystery Amelia: slag me off as much as you like, I don't know what's going on Jac: didn't inherit that off your mum then Amelia: clearly not Jac: yeah well when she finds out somehow you can hear all about it Amelia: finds out what? Jac: now you're gonna ask how I am Amelia: if you were in the hospital again or something that's more important than any of this bullshit Amelia: please just tell me Jac: no, because you did a grand gesture I didn't ask for so now I'm really all good Amelia: a Christmas present isn't a grand gesture Amelia: or what matters Jac: yeah, no shit it isn't Amelia: can you just Jac: what, tell you what's wrong with me? Jac: will that make you feel better Amelia: No Jac: yeah, that makes it almost seem worth it Amelia: forget it Amelia: I'll find out when everyone else does or I won't Jac: yeah Jac: your fake concern for 2 seconds was really comforting Amelia: nothing about this is fake for me Amelia: I don't know how many more times or ways I can make that fucking obvious Jac: you're all talk Jac: I expect nothing more or less from you at this point Amelia: because talking is all I can do Amelia: you won't take a 🎁 I'm not risking an actual gesture Jac: yeah, I heard Jac: nothing in it for you Amelia: okay, tell me I'm wrong Amelia: tell me there is Jac: no Amelia: say something Amelia: give me literally anything Jac: how many times can you be told it's not about you before you get it Jac: it's not about caring because I throw you false hope Jac: we were friends, once Amelia: which is exactly why I want you to tell me what it's really about Amelia: I care about you, I fucking love you Amelia: and something bad has happened Jac: depends on your point of view Amelia: put all of this bullshit between us aside and talk to me Amelia: you said it, we were friends Jac: I don't know if I actually want to hurt you this bad Jac: call me stupid Amelia: it's not about me, remember? Jac: still Jac: it's Amelia: you aren't going to talk to anyone else Jac: Jesse knows Jac: and my parents Amelia: that doesn't mean they know how you feel, just what's happened Jac: you won't be able to know either Jac: it isn't gay Amelia: this can still be one of those times where you say things to me that you don't to anyone else, if you want Amelia: if it'll help you Jac: Nothing will help me Jac: but I don't care Jac: I've got a baby Amelia: what? Jac: a dead one now Amelia: oh Jac: yep Amelia: when? Jac: it's why Jesse cancelled his gig Amelia: of course Amelia: that makes sense Jac: so now you know Amelia: yeah Jac: so yeah, there's nothing to be said or done and that's seriously it Amelia: okay, well I'm here if that ever changes Amelia: my mum's never gotten over it but I know talking helped her Jac: talking isn't going to assuage the guilt of creating and destroying life Jac: maybe I'll go pray but I doubt that does either Amelia: I don't know Amelia: there must be a reason therapy is so popular, you're the wannabe psychologist Jac: hope Jac: I'm not interested Amelia: alright, no talking Amelia: do you want to go out? Jac: and bleed over the four pairs of tights I'd have to wear to stop it running straight down my legs? Amelia: a no would be a perfectly acceptable answer Jac: yeah, it's perfectly acceptable to bother a therapist about it so you never mention it to anyone else Amelia: you're not going to mention it anyway, you've said as much Jac: that has nothing to do with your sensibilities Jac: if I wanted to, I could go into horrific detail Amelia: yeah, you could Amelia: you could also bleed all over my car if you wanted to Jac: Yeah right Jac: your entire street is curtain twitchers Amelia: we won't be hanging out on my street Jac: there's nowhere I could go that'll make me forget either Amelia: you've been stuck inside for days with your family, it's hardly a grand gesture to suggest taking you literally anywhere else Amelia: but okay Jac: Jess won't let me go anyway Jac: last time I said I'd hang out with you and he believed it I fucked your girlfriend so Amelia: you kissed her Jac: oh yeah Jac: same difference Amelia: no Amelia: there's quite a big difference Jac: maybe I told him I did then Jac: I don't remember Amelia: probably Jac: the outcome was the same is the point Amelia: the point is, Jess won't let you go Amelia: I got that Jac: I had to have someone come with Amelia: yeah Jac: not about to ask the poor sod who did it Amelia: have you told him though? Jac: yeah Jac: fucking embarrassing Amelia: I assume you're less likely to accidentally run into him than you are me Jac: I think I got points for dealing with it and being cool anyway Jac: go me Amelia: great Jac: it don't matter Jac: only would have if he'd kicked up a fuss Jac: but he didn't seem the sort and that's one less thing for me to feel guilty about so fuck it Amelia: does Darla know? Jac: I told her false alarm Jac: had to ask her about him so Amelia: then why do you think everyone's going to find out? Jac: people somehow always do Jac: I don't care anymore, not now Amelia: if my mum hasn't heard, it's unlikely Amelia: she knew about your alcohol poisoning immediately Jac: beneath her to have connections with an abortion clinic Amelia: she's not god squad Jac: close enough Amelia: my aunt had one after having Olivia, there was something wrong with the baby apparently Amelia: my mum wasn't protesting outside Jac: that's different then Jac: you have a reason, people can repeat that to themselves until they forget about it Amelia: you had a reason too Amelia: everyone does Jac: no, I had an excuse Amelia: you had a reason Jac: no, I didn't Amelia: yeah, you did Amelia: and if anyone else did it for the same reason you wouldn't call it an excuse Jac: Yes I would Amelia: you hate yourself, before this, after this and because of this Amelia: stop Jac: I didn't need to get pregnant, I did and then I killed it Jac: anyone who did that, I'd think exactly the same Amelia: you didn't mean to Amelia: and if you're going to punish yourself this hard for every mistake you ever make then you're going to last even less time than you think I will Jac: You don't act like that not not mean to Jac: all I need to do is live this year then I'll be doing what I actually want Amelia: and that's enough of a reason, don't you get that Jac: enough of a reason for what Amelia: you can't just have a baby you don't want Amelia: it's not like fucking lads you don't care about Jac: no one made me do any of it Jac: so it's not a reason Jac: it's stepping away from any responsibility Amelia: you made you Amelia: and you'd be a shit mum Jac: no, that's bullshit Jac: you tell yourself what you like about it but I know what I did Amelia: tell me you enjoyed it, any of the times Jac: it's sex Jac: that's one of but not the only point Amelia: say it then Amelia: what your point is Jac: Why am I repeating myself? Jac: I know what I did Jac: you aren't going to convince me otherwise Amelia: Why are you doing it? Jac: Well I can't anymore, actually Jac: 2 weeks minimum Amelia: but why have you ever? Jac: because I want to Amelia: you want Savannah Amelia: it hasn't helped you forget that, it won't Jac: neither do you but you didn't tell me not to do that Jac: I can still want to fuck guys Jac: end of Amelia: fine, I'll say it now Jac: yeah Amelia: I can't do this any more Jac: we aren't Amelia: we've said that before, it has to be different this time Jac: whatever Jac: you expect me to make promises to you? Jac: I don't fucking care, Amelia Jac: you deal with it, it's not my problem Amelia: okay Jac: Christ sake Amelia: What? Jac: Never mind, right, off you go Amelia: I'm not going Jac: 🙄 Amelia: you don't care, I heard you before Jac: you want it to be different this time Jac: do something about it Amelia: I'm not having sex with you, that's what I'm doing differently Jac: what's the point in that Jac: doing all the other shit, there's barely any difference Amelia: because I shouldn't have ever but I can't take any of it back Jac: we don't need to be friends either Amelia: we're not Jac: then leave Jac: why half-arse it, that's my point Amelia: I can't leave Jac: just the situation Jac: you don't actually need to kill yourself Amelia: no, I can't leave you Jac: don't be daft Amelia: I'm not repeating myself either Jac: please yourself Amelia: fuck you Jac: you'll be a long time waiting for a thank you Jac: I didn't ask for this Amelia: neither did I Jac: you have a choice Amelia: yeah, and I've made it Jac: and what? Jac: what would you like me to say? Amelia: don't say anything Amelia: I'd honestly love that Jac: yeah, I bet Amelia: the back and forth between utter lies and bullshit and brutal fucking honesty is worse than just the gaslighting Jac: then go away Jac: you're doing this to you Jac: I don't want you here Amelia: you're doing it to me Jac: no, I'm not Amelia: you are Jac: I'm literally telling you to go Amelia: you're always telling me to go Amelia: it's been over a year Jac: your lack of resolve is not my fault Amelia: if you really don't want me here, do something about it Jac: No, because I'm not crying about it Jac: if you feel so gaslit, fuck off Jac: don't reply, don't engage Jac: I don't owe you anything Amelia: you're literally complaining about it Jac: because you're crying wolf Jac: I can and will do what I want, that's how it's always been Amelia: It's no different for me, I've always done what I want too Jac: no, you're being horribly manipulated and used Jac: poor little Amelia Amelia: you fucking said it as a brag earlier Amelia: how easy it is Jac: so why are you repeating it back to me, like I don't know? Jac: you're waiting for me to deny it, or apologize and say it's not true and I care SO much Jac: get real Amelia: I'm waiting for you to stop Amelia: actually do anything you say you're going to Jac: why? Jac: why are you expecting me to act like I'm fine when I'm not Jac: keep making the same wrong call and act surprised when I do what feels right Jac: for fuck's sake, Amelia Amelia: I don't know Amelia: maybe because I'm not fine either but I don't treat you like this Jac: maybe 'cos you've got no willpower Jac: maybe 'cos struggling is a competition and I'm winning Amelia: maybe Jac: 🤔💭 on that Amelia: obviously Jac: fun never stops Jac: enjoy, like Amelia: 🎢 🎠🎪 Jac: 'tis the season Amelia: Merry Christmas 🎄🎅⛄ Jac: great Amelia: yeah Jac: make you feel better that? Amelia: 1. you literally don't care 2. neither do I Jac: I'm literally still bleeding from having my baby chemically expelled and you don't get any joy out of wishing me a Merry Christmas? Jac: what is the fucking point, if you're gonna be a cunt, commit to it Amelia: there's no point to any of this, we both get that Jac: nah, it actually makes me feel better to make you feel worse Jac: that's the point Jac: I have loads of them Jac: it's you who has zero idea what the fuck she's doing Jac: as per Amelia: oh well in that case, carry on Jac: if you hadn't worked that out by now, there is no hope for you Amelia: there's no hope for me anyway, as you've said repeatedly Jac: you seem pretty resigned to this whole victim thing you've got going on Jac: it's a fair observation Amelia: I'm sure it is Jac: yep, that's right, curl up into a ball 'til it's over Jac: fuck this Amelia: until what's over? Jac: the attack, whatever you wanna call it Amelia: I don't want to call it anything, I don't want to do this Amelia: you're the one who's getting something out of it, unless that's another lie Jac: then don't Jac: why the fuck are you still here? Amelia: because I can't fucking leave when you're in the middle of an abortion Amelia: for fuck's sake Jac: the good friend points are not being counted any more Amelia: I don't care Amelia: if this is all I can do, over nothing, then so be it Jac: you're gonna let yourself be a punching bag Jac: seriously Amelia: why not? Amelia: it's not like it's the first time, or that I haven't for things that matter less Amelia: and it's too late to change any of that Jac: because I want you to stop Jac: to fight back Jac: to not do this shit anymore Amelia: I'm not fighting you right now, even if I had the strength to ever Jac: it's like Jac: you don't understand how dangerous it is Jac: what if this was someone else Jac: do you wanna end up like that, getting knocked about and taken advantage of Amelia: I don't give a fuck about the future, remember? Jac: well stop it Amelia: no Jac: stop Amelia: no Jac: fine Jac: I'll go Amelia: okay, go

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: [Sends a selfie of him studying hard] Buster: So that's me. What are you doing? Rio: Proud of you, babe Rio: also you look cute 😍 Rio: [Selfie at whatever party she's been dragged to] Rio: Babysitting, like Buster: Well, damn, that's how fantasies start Buster: You look so good right now Rio: Yeah, I've seen the films too 😏 Rio: Is that how you've been rewarding yourself for your hard work or? Buster: I bet you have, babe Buster: And no, I haven't taken a break yet, I was saving them up for now Buster: For you Rio: You calling me a pervert? 😉 Rio: Well I'm all yours, baby Rio: How's your day been? Buster: 'Course not. You're such an innocent baby Buster: Yeah? Good Buster: 'Cause I've been so bored Rio: Jesus Rio: I can tell Rio: If this is how it gets you I might have to let you be bored more often Buster: What can I say? I've had a lot of time to think about you while my teachers were chatting the same old shit Rio: Yeah? Rio: What have you been thinking about me? Buster: Mainly all the ways you'd make learning fun for me Buster: It's a skill Rio: If only I'd stayed in School Rio: Career right there Buster: I'm not sharing you Buster: Private tuition or nothing Buster: I mean, it can be public, but still just me and you Rio: I'm fine with that Rio: You got the funds, posh boy Buster: You know it, babe Rio: I accept the position then, when do I start? Buster: You can start right now, if you want Rio: I wanna talk to you first, for a bit Rio: I've missed you Buster: I've missed you too Buster: So much Rio: I think I have good news though Buster: Tell me Rio: [Test picture] Rio: Obviously it's like Rio: really early days Buster: Oh my god Buster: When can we be sure? Buster: Like 1000% Rio: I'm getting a blood test at the Doctors, that's definite, just in case this test is giving a false positive but that's really rare, like you either are or you aren't really so Rio: We're having a baby Buster: Fuck, Rio, we did it Rio: I know Rio: I didn't know if it would happen, I mean Rio: I've not tried before obviously Rio: it's so surreal Buster: We can do anything Buster: I knew it'd work Rio: I'm glad 'cos it has and there's no going back on it now Buster: Good, I don't want to Buster: I want you and our baby Rio: I just keep rubbing my stomach like Rio: they're already in there Buster: Do you feel any different yet? Is that a stupid question? Rio: I don't think so Rio: I've not been being sick or anything yet, though that'll be coming in a month or so if it does Rio: it's just all so new it doesn't feel real but at the same time, so real and exciting Buster: By then my exams will be almost over and then I'll be back to look after you Buster: Wait, you're at a party right now? How has Indie not clocked that you aren't getting wasted alongside her? Rio: Just in time for the mood swings too, no doubt 😜 Rio: Such a good actress, obviously Rio: Never drank so many cokes in my life, hopefully she just thinks I'm doing coke in the bathroom, like Buster: Am I gonna have to buy us a bigger place so you can stay in your wing and me in mine, like? 😂 Buster: I really didn't expect to be this happy today Buster: And I really fucking love you Rio: 😂 Rio: Please, no matter how big our house gets, let's never be those people Rio: I love you so much, I've been dying to tell you all day Buster: I couldn't even, I'm so tempted to get a flight now just to see you even though I'd literally have to come straight back Buster: You should've, there's no better excuse to leave school and these cunts behind Rio: I know, I was trying to be good though, Rio: I didn't want you to get caught playing hooky when we can't tell anyone why yet Buster: I'd make something up Buster: Not a bad actor myself, hopefully Buster: You know nothing's more important than this Rio: Well, had other stuff to keep me busy Rio: Not as important, or good but Rio: Drew got sentenced today, 4 years Rio: hence I'm with Indie Buster: Shit Buster: How is she? Rio: She says good but Rio: She'll be alright, I don't know if she's grasping how long it is, or if you even can Buster: Yeah Buster: Our baby will be a kid when he gets out Rio: Shit Rio: Astrid will be too Rio: it's mental Buster: Indie and Edie'll be our age basically Rio: That's scary Rio: So much could happen in that time, he's going to miss it all Buster: It's so weird Buster: Like who knows how many kids we'll have by then Rio: See how you feeling when this one arrives Rio: You might be thinking one's enough 😏 Buster: No chance Buster: And we've been through this, one kid would be too spoiled and just Buster: odd Rio: 😂 Okay Rio: but maybe you've only just recovered enough for no.2 Buster: You reckon? Buster: I think you're speaking for yourself, babe Rio: No way Rio: I want all your babies Buster: It's okay if you only want this one, you'll be doing the hard work until they're born Rio: I don't but we'll see Rio: all the focus on this one for now Buster: Yeah Buster: Jesus, I can't believe you're sitting there with my baby inside you Rio: I know, how does it feel? Buster: I don't have words Buster: When are you going to the doctor's? I wanna be there with you Rio: You don't have to, babe, they won't do anything but the test for now Buster: Yeah but still Buster: The school don't need to know I ain't sick Buster: I can be there and back before anyone realises Rio: Are you sure? Buster: I'm so sure Buster: There's nowhere else I'd rather be Buster: So when? Rio: You're so lovely Rio: I'm booked in for Friday Buster: Okay Buster: I'll be there Buster: We're a team, baby Rio: We are Rio: We get to do this all together Buster: You know I'll do anything for you Buster: Both of you now Rio: Gonna make me cry Buster: You can Buster: It's alright Rio: Not in front all these people Rio: Hold on, I'll go somewhere more quiet Buster: I love you Rio: I love you Rio: Do you know they're like the size of a grain of sugar right now Rio: How does that turn into a  human Buster: What? Really Rio: Yeah, even at a month, it's the size of a poppy seed Rio: it's tripping me out, it's so tiny Buster: Fucking hell Rio: How do I keep something so small safe Buster: We'll do it together Buster: You look after the baby and I'll look after you Rio: Yeah, I know you will Buster: What do you need like vitamins or something? Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm making sure I eat right too, getting our dates right so we can plan all the scans and shit Rio: The due date is 14th January, by the way, I did the Maths Buster: I can get food delivered to you if you get too tired, there's no danger Indie will steal and eat it, like Buster: You're so good at maths I have no reason to doubt that Rio: You're so fucking cute Rio: You take such good care of me Buster: It's the only job I have right now Buster: I'm gonna do it properly Rio: Gotta get those results too, baby Rio: but I know you will Buster: I promise Buster: I'm gonna make you both proud of me Rio: We already are Rio: I know, we already been talking Rio: telling them all about their daddy Buster: You're gonna make me cry Buster: You're so fucking cute Rio: I've been missing you like crazy Buster: Yeah? Rio: Mhmm Rio: It's been very distracting, mostly in a good way Buster: I'm here now Buster: You don't need to miss me anymore Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: Anything my wife wants, she can have Rio: Still the best feeling when you call me that Buster: Wait until the kid calls you mum Buster: We're gonna be parents after Christmas, babe Rio: Fuck Rio: How and when are we telling everyone Buster: I don't wanna tell them until we have to Rio: Fair Rio: Hopefully I won't get massive but Rio: who knows Buster: We could have twins Buster: There's no hiding that Rio: Oh Rio: Why didn't I even consider that Buster: 'Cause it's kind of a scary thought, like Rio: One we gotta have though Rio: When can you find out Buster: It depends Buster: Sometimes the heartbeats are so alike you don't realise Rio: 😏 Freaks Buster: Usually they work it out at the dating scan though Rio: That's okay then Rio: we'll call it it 'til then Buster: Do you want a boy or a girl? Buster: Assuming you don't get both Rio: Hmm Rio: I don't know Rio: either way it's going to be so perfect and so loved Buster: Yeah Rio: My friends with kids have all got girls though Rio: Maybe a baby boy Buster: I wouldn't be mad about it Rio: Gotta have your heir right Buster: 'Course Rio: Can't promise a 50/50 split like my Ma managed Rio: Pure skill that is Buster: I don't care if we have 11 boys or 11 girls Buster: Thinking of names might get difficult eventually though Rio: We haven't even started on the names Buster: All I know is I'm not naming any of them after me Buster: Posh cunts are always doing that Rio: Honestly Rio: There's only one you anyway, babe Rio: don't wanna give the kid a complex Buster: They deserve their own fucking name, like Buster: Not an amateur Rio: They can't have a boring name Rio: Neither of us having boring names Buster: Who in this whole family does actually? Buster: Not like we've got an uncle Bob Rio: 😂 Buster: But yeah you're right Buster: No half measures Rio: Go hard or go home baby Buster: Obviously Buster was timed out 11 hours ago Buster joined the chat 11 hours ago Buster: But coming home to you gets me hard so what can I do? Rio: I wish you were here right now Buster: Me too Buster: I just keep looking at that pic of you Buster: Amongst others, like Rio: You want some more? Buster: Always Rio: Hold on then Rio: Not tryna flash some pre-teens Buster: 😂 Buster: What kinda party is this, babe? Rio: Not that kind, soz lads Rio: Indie said I can't hang tho so Buster: So much to prove, yeah? Buster: You're a cool mum Rio: 😒 Hush Buster: But you are Buster: She just don't know it yet Rio: Seriously, it's harder to keep it secret than you'd think Rio: I told her I was on antibiotics and she was like...and? 🙄😏 Buster: If you need to tell her it's okay Buster: Like yeah we have an en suite but she still lives with us Rio: I'll tell her when we hit 12 weeks Rio: you know Rio: most don't before then Rio: I can do it Buster: Yeah but Buster: Nothing bad's gonna happen, like Buster: It's just not Rio: Yeah, of course Rio: That's all you can hope and pray for Buster: I'll do whatever I have to for you both to be safe, you know Buster: Even go to church if that's what it takes Rio: I know baby Rio: Me too Buster: You're gonna be the best mum Buster: You're the best wife already Rio: As good as I can be from a distance, like Buster: The best, end of Buster: You're keeping me going right now, babe Rio: Okay, we're both the best Rio: I can't wait for all this shit to be done, then we don't have to be apart Rio: ever again Buster: It'll go by so fast, I promise Buster: I'm gonna come back for weekends when I can Rio: Do what you gotta do baby Rio: I can be as here or as chill as you need Buster: Thank fuck your appointment is Friday so I can just stay Buster: Nobody will even bat an eyelid, like Rio: Let's just stay in bed the whole time Rio: Please Buster: 'Course baby Buster: That's all I want Rio: I'm gonna give you exactly what you need, don't you worry Buster: I'll give you anything and everything Buster: Hold me to it Rio: I just want you Buster: You've got me Buster: Whenever Rio: Good Rio: 'cos I need you so bad Rio: hate for you to not keep up, babe 😏 Buster: When haven't I? Buster: Come on Rio: 😋 Just a little encouragement Buster: Oh? Is that how you wanna play tonight Buster: Alright Rio: Maybe Rio: What you gonna do about it? Buster: Maybe I'll stop being so nice Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: Maybe I'll remember to pretend to not enjoy it Buster: You reckon? Buster: I'm not sure you're that good of an actress, babe Rio: 😱 Rio: Literally the rudest thing you've ever said to me Rio: Know we're not playing nice but damn Buster: Poor baby Buster: I only meant that I'm gonna make it impossible for you to pretend anything Rio: 🤤 Rio: Not gonna start faking it now Buster: You can't Buster: It goes against the vows Buster: And I'd know so there's no way I'm letting that happen Rio: You're right I can't Rio: You're incapable of being bad at it Buster: Yeah I am Buster: I want you too much Buster: And I need you to keep wanting me back Rio: I'm never gonna not Rio: You're the best, Buster Rio: that's why I'm keeping you Buster: I miss you Buster: I swear it gets worse every time Rio: It does Rio: At least we don't have to pretend we don't miss each other now Rio: not that that'll earn you much slack, like Buster: Which is typical 'cause exam time is the perfect excuse to be a moody, stressed cunt Rio: I bet Rio: I don't think your sister and Junie have seen sunlight Buster: I'm not surprised Buster: Nance has never thrived under pressure like I do Buster: Stick your head in some time and make sure she ain't having a breakdown, yeah? Rio: Alright, since you asked nicely Rio: I've been avoiding them best I can Buster: You're such a good girl Rio: Yours Buster: Mine Rio: You're hot Buster: For you, yeah Rio: I can't stop thinking about when you got me pregnant, well, when I think you did Rio: at the party Buster: Me either Buster: Let's hope your parents don't host anything too soon 'cause I'm having enough flashbacks as is Buster: I mean it, let's conceive all our kids like that Rio: There's basically a birthday every other week with this fam 😏 Rio: Never gonna complain again if we get to fuck like that though Buster: I'm already studying in my sister's room 'cause it's one of the only places here that we haven't fucked Buster: Now I gotta start avoiding half your house as well Buster: But at least it's only while you aren't here Rio: Oh okay, I'll keep it PG then 😇 Buster: Shut up Buster: You won't and I don't want you to Rio: Well if I'm gonna fuck you you better get back to your room boy Buster: You know I'm on my break Buster: I'm not just hanging in there draped in a rainbow flag or whatever Rio: Oh babe Rio: that's not a turn-on 😂 Buster: Exactly Buster: That's why I'm in the kitchen Buster: Getting a drink and annoying you Rio: Good Rio: Sober parties are awful Rio: You're gonna have to be so entertaining for the next 9 months Buster: Don't worry it's just water for solidarity Buster: The least I can do Rio: Baby! Rio: How are you so nice Buster: I'd be a prick to get drunk when you can't Buster: Like I said, we're a team Rio: You so can Rio: I'm not gonna be that bitch Rio: but I love you Buster: No Buster: I'm serious Rio: You're so Rio: How do people not see you like I do Buster: I don't love them like I love you Rio: I feel blessed, no hashtag needed to make it seem less genuine Rio: I mean it Buster: It's the same for me Buster: And now I get to be a dad too Buster: Actually speechless Rio: Seriously Rio: This kid is so lucky Buster: I can't wait to meet them Rio: Me either Rio: What are they going to be like Buster: They've got us for parents so Buster: Perfect obviously Rio: I can't believe we get to do this Buster: I can't believe we've got to do any of this since we first got together, honestly Buster: That I get to feel like this all the time Rio: Well we weren't meant to but Rio: give a shit then Rio: less now Buster: What did I do to deserve you 'cause I know that first kiss wasn't it Rio: I told you, you got really fucking hot Buster: Yeah? Rio: It was indecent Rio: No one's good looking at that age, fucking hell Buster: You were Rio: You think? Buster: I know Buster: I thought about you almost as much then as I do now Rio: I like thinking about that Buster: Shame I can't go back in time and tell my younger self what's gonna happen Buster: I wanted you so much Rio: I don't know if little you would survive Buster: Would definitely think I was full of shit and try and fight me Rio: Probably win Rio: he was very angry Buster: Yeah Buster: I better teach our kid how to fight in case they take after me Rio: We won't let him feel as bad as we've felt Buster: I'd die first Buster: I mean that Rio: I know baby Rio: that's why you're the best dad Buster: I'm gonna have to get used to you saying that Buster: Still getting my head around being your husband Rio: I know Rio: It gets me too Buster: I'm blushing right now Buster: [Sends photographic proof] Rio: 😩 Rio: Fuck me Rio: you're so angelic Buster: Say please first Rio: I'm begging, baby Buster: Call me Buster: I wanna hear that Rio: [Calls 'cos highkey] Buster: Jesus Buster: I think you made me lose my voice Rio: Good think you've not got any oral exams, yeah? Buster: Imagine my excuse note Buster: Like mum can you just Rio: 😏 Rio: I'll pretend to be your Ma, babe 😂 Buster: Fuck Buster: Don't make it hot Rio: You can call me mamãe and mean it baby Rio: Don't have to leave the Portuguese lessons in Brazil Buster: You're killing me right now Buster: Teach me, babe Rio: You're a fast learner, baby Rio: You've got all summer to get your tongue around it Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm gonna impress you Buster: You'll see Rio: muito gostoso Rio: that's you Buster: It's all you, baby Rio: Okay, but make it gotosa or it's getting gay and offensive to me up in here Buster: 😂 Rio: The queue for this bathroom Rio: Whoops Rio: Sorry everyone Buster: Forget them Buster: I'm not sorry Rio: Easy Rio: I'm still thinking about you Buster: I can't stop Buster: Ever Rio: Yeah, you're pretty special but save some time for me Buster: Shut up Buster: You know what I mean Rio: 😋 Rio: Make me Buster: Can you come back with me on Sunday or do you need to stay there? Rio: I don't know Rio: I probably shouldn't Rio: I know Indie is hurting Buster: Yeah Buster: I'm being selfish Buster: Forget it Rio: You aren't Rio: I want to come too Rio: and I don't really know how I'm meant to help her but Rio: we'll make the most of it Buster: You're right Buster: You always are Rio: She misses you too, by the way Buster: I'm sure the car softens the blow though Rio: I've had to be so strict or she'll have it apart before I know it Buster: She better not Buster: I'll be actually strict Rio: Daddy Rio: That's just for me Buster: Oh, are you jealous, baby? Rio: Yes. Buster: You're so hot Rio: What's a girl gotta do to get punished, honestly Buster: What can I say? You're such an angel Rio: Then do what I want Buster: If only 'cause I love it when you talk like that Buster: Okay Rio: I miss your marks Buster: I know you do Buster: Do some for me Buster: Make them last until I get there Rio: Where do you want them? Buster: Surprise me Buster: I wanna just find them Rio: You're full of good ideas Buster: You inspire me, babe Rio: I can't wait 'til I get a belly Rio: it's so sexy, don't you think Buster: Don't, you're gonna turn me on all over again Rio: Sorry Rio: being pregnant turns me on, it's your fault Buster: It's as much your fault Rio: Is that how you remember it? 😉 Buster: I've thought about it enough times, like Buster: And now I am again so Rio: Me too Rio: How they didn't hear me Rio: Fuck Buster: Or me Rio: Flashbacks so vivid I can feel it Buster: Christ Buster: You need to be here now Rio: Where would we do it first if I was Buster: Against the front door if that's where you're coming in Rio: Hope we're alone then Buster: I don't care if we aren't Rio: Find it hard to care about anything when you're inside me Buster: Good Buster: Or else I'd have to work harder Rio: No one works harder than my baby, trust Buster: It's for you Rio: And you know all of me is yours forever Buster: Is it fucked if I want you to touch yourself in the middle of this party considering how young they are? 'Cause I do Rio: No more fucked than how much I want to now you've said it Buster: Go on then Buster: Think about me and our party Rio: You were so hard under me Buster: I am now Rio: If I was sat in your lap right now, I'd be rubbing myself on you so hard, you'd feel exactly how wet I was Buster: If you were sat on my lap right now I'd make sure everyone knew exactly how bad you wanted me Buster: You'd be making every sound I like Rio: I don't even have to say a word Rio: Everyone knows I'm your little slut and that I'd do anything for you, you can see it when I look at you Buster: You're the only person who's ever turned me on with just a look Buster: The way you do it Buster: Fuck Rio: I just want you that bad Rio: It's always been obvious Buster: I need you that bad too Buster: It's as obvious here and now as it's ever been Rio: Are you touching yourself too, Daddy? Buster: [Sends pics] Buster: See for yourself Rio: Jesus Rio: That girl definitely just heard me Buster: She better have appreciated it Rio: My moans or your pics? Rio: 'Cos she ain't seeing 'em Buster: How good you sound Rio: I was too embarrassed to check Rio: and distracted by how good you look and how bad I want Rio: Actually drooling, like, Jesus boy, the things you do to me Buster: Don't ever be embarrassed by how fucking hot you are Buster: It's not even big yet and I still wanna cum all over your stomach Rio: That's just Rio: the hottest thing you've ever said Rio: Please Buster: It's true Rio: I wanna lick it up and kiss you deep so you can taste yourself Buster: I feel like the neighbours just heard me then so we're even Buster: Kinda Rio: You should shoot your cum in your own mouth tonight Rio: I promise you'll like it Rio: I do Buster: I'll record it for you Buster: We can find out my reaction together Rio: Good boy Rio: I've taught you well Buster: Say that again Rio: You're my good boy Buster: That's really getting to me Rio: You're making Mamãe very happy, baby Buster: Oh my god Buster: Rio, you're just Rio: I know Rio: Every fucked up thing you've ever thought Rio: You get to do with me, I want to Buster: 'Cause you're perfect Buster: You get me Buster: Better than anyone else ever has or would Rio: We were made for each other Rio: I believe that Buster: Me too Rio: I feel most like me when I'm with you Rio: and especially when it's just us Buster: I feel the exact same Buster: I swear Rio: I know Rio: You've never judged me for Rio: Anything Buster: I never will, baby Rio: and I'll never judge you, you can tell me anything and everything, you should Buster: We both have to Rio: I promise Buster: I promise Buster: Forever Rio: Now I'm just thinking about the honeymoon sex too Buster: I'm not sorry that you are Rio: I think all of Rio knew how happy I was to be your wife by the end of the trip Buster: Good Buster: We have to go back Buster: Not only so you get to be basically naked again Buster: But for the baby too Rio: I'm looking at our pictures now, we look really fucking good, like, we just do Rio: but of course Rio: we can have a place there if we get rich enough Buster: You always look good, but that fucking tan, Jesus Christ Buster: We can have places anywhere, everywhere, I'll make it happen Rio: I'm gonna post a throwback now Rio: so you can shamelessly perv on that Buster: You just wanna make me moan louder Rio: You will when you remember what happened directly after this photo Buster: Oh Rio: Oh? Buster: I should've known you were gonna post that one Buster: Damn Rio: I mean Rio: I was asking to be fucked on that beach, really Rio: Nothing subtle about it Buster: Not that you ever need to ask Buster: But yeah it was in your eyes, babe Rio: You looked so good that day, especially good Rio: I remember, you'd already been for a swim before I woke up and your hair was all wet and especially curly and you were just dripping holy shit Buster: Next time I fuck you on that beach I'm putting our second baby in you Rio: I need that Rio: It should be like, next level good, every time we make a baby Buster: It will be Buster: I don't think I've ever been as turned on as when we were at that party Buster: Just knowing we were creating our baby then Rio: It elevated it so much Rio: not to mention just fucking doing it there and then 'cos we wanted to Rio: I literally would not have stopped for anything or anyone Buster: Me either Buster: I couldn't Rio: You like the danger too, I've always known Rio: You didn't care about getting caught, all the stupid things we did as kids Rio: it was always so exciting when you were around Buster: I did it for you as much as me, back then even Buster: I didn't want you to forget about me Buster: So there was that purely selfish motive as well but Rio: Baby, I'd never forget you Buster: Mostly I just wanted us to have fun, you know Rio: And we did Buster: Shit was always so serious around us Rio: Yeah Rio: It was good to escape it all, for however long we were allowed Rio: you've always given me that Rio: I missed it, when we didn't see each other Buster: Me too Buster: I can't remember a time when I didn't miss you whenever I look back Buster: It's like how shit's measured, were we together or not Rio: I feel it too Rio: I tried to say it was bullshit and you know, get on with shit, other boys and stuff but Rio: I don't know Rio: something was always missing Rio: you Buster: Yeah Buster: I forgot myself when I tried to forget about you and just push it all away Buster: I think I thought if I was a different person then you wouldn't want me and I wouldn't want you Rio: Yeah Rio: I'm sorry you had to do that, ever Rio: I know I didn't make you and I did the same kind of thing but it still makes me sad Rio: we thought we were doing the right thing at the time Buster: It's alright, we're doing the right thing now Buster: Finally Buster: And I'm so happy Buster: More than I ever reckoned I would or could be, like Rio: Good Rio: Me too Rio: I finally feel like I'm on the right path again Buster: Plus, I did learn plenty of shit from all those girls who weren't you Rio: Not untrue Rio: even if I hate them all irrationally for it but you know Buster: I love how possessive you get of me Rio: I can't help it Rio: I'm just so yours that the idea of you not being mine Buster: It's the hottest thing Buster: That you're all mine and how much you wanna be Rio: Don't need the collar to own me Rio: It's always Rio: that's why I let you ink me Buster: I saw mine at school earlier and it was so distracting 'cause I was already thinking about you Rio: It's so good Rio: I bet your School would throw a shitfit if they saw, even though you're 18 and literally about to leave Buster: Yeah Buster: Some of the professors try and tell you how to have your hair still Rio: So medieval Rio: if it weren't for the leg-up you'll get and the fantasies I do, honestly, what a waste of time Buster: Literally, this girl's blonde went a slightly green somehow, fuck knows, and they sent her home Buster: Such a scandal Rio: As if a bad dye-job isn't shaming enough Rio: Ridiculous, though lucky she's there at all, only 'cos the feminists forced 'em, like Buster: Honestly Buster: But at least half of the school are the kind of posh cunts that think tattoos are only for poor people so Rio: Be low-class with me, babe Buster: You know it Buster: I had to delete so many comments off my insta post, like Buster: Shut the fuck up Rio: I can imagine Rio: The ones I didn't catch, anyway Rio: Least you can cleanse your socials with fire when you leave Buster: Sorry my parents have more money than you and I'm gonna get better grades than you but my Grandparents would be classed as scum by you Buster: Ridiculous Rio: Sound like a deluded Ma tryna make you feel better but it literally is jealousy though Rio: soz you also have a chin 'cos you ain't inbred tory as fuck, like, that's the life you been dealt, the privilege'll ease the pain of being ugly Buster: 😂 My wife's smarter than all of you and she doesn't even go here, who do you lot reckon you are Rio: 😏 Rio: Fuck the lot of 'em Buster: I'm so ready to leave Buster: Actually can't wait Rio: Seriously Rio: Uni will be so much better Buster: Especially 'cause I ain't going to Havard Rio: Yeah Rio: odds on Trinity has some decent people Rio: not all 🤓 like you Buster: I'll take fewer posh cunts Buster: You're the only nerd I'm paying attention to, like Rio: Sweet talker Rio: and a lot of 'em will be Irish so really, how posh can they be? 🤷 Buster: 'Bout as posh as you, I'd reckon Buster: Am I gonna have to learn that as well as Portuguese? Rio: Rude Rio: but true, probably Posher if they ain't from the 24, like Rio: nah, no one actually speaks it properly Buster: I love you Buster: And it's a compliment Rio: Hmm Rio: Alright Buster: Believe me Rio: You're cute Buster: So believe me Rio: I believe you meant it as one, babe Rio: Don't worry Buster: Now tell me you love me too Rio: I love you Rio: You fool Rio: I hope you don't lose your accent Buster: Unlikely since I haven't yet and I ain't lived in Cambs for ages Rio: Yeah but you only got posher with the move Buster: Shh Rio: It's hot Rio: like a disney villain Buster: 😂 Buster: Is that a fantasy from the list? Buster: Which princess do you wanna be in the roleplay? Rio: Hmm Rio: The list of brown princesses is so lacklustre Buster: You're such a good actress yeah? Create your own Rio: Or I'll just be that one you liked when you was a kid Buster: You know I didn't watch any of that shit Rio: 😏 Okay babe Buster: Come on Rio: I'm sure you only watched it 'cos Nance wanted to Rio: it's okay Buster: Lusting after the fairy godmother, like Buster: Let's not Rio: Stop 😂 Buster: The evil stepmother probably really got her going Rio: Poor Nance Buster: Let's chance the subject immediately Buster: g* Rio: What do you wanna talk about? Buster: You Rio: Oh sure, my favourite subject, like Buster: Mine too Buster: So tell me something Rio: Can you be a little more specific Buster: I haven't been gone long, but what have I missed? Buster: Give me the highlights babe Rio: Okay, lemme think Buster: While you I'm just gonna say it Buster: Not a princess, but Tinkerbell had that possessive vibe going on, and you know I like that Buster: Okay Rio: Oh Rio: That works on so many levels, Wendy was such a posh bitch Buster: Yeah exactly Buster: Sorry, carry on, I just had to get that off my chest, like Rio: I mean, very distracting thought but we'll come back to it Rio: just taking endless pregnancy tests, keeping Indie busy but outta trouble Rio: shooting, the usual really Buster: You're telling me, it ain't my fault you're so small you're actually fairy sized but you know Buster: How many tests have you done? Rio: I bought 10 Rio: I knew it had to be at least a week after so I had to wait but I did waste a couple 'cos I couldn't Buster: Babe Buster: You're so cute Buster: None of them were negative, right? Rio: I wanted to be sure Rio: yeah, they were all positive Buster: It's okay, I'm excited too Rio: I'm really excited Buster: I can't stop smiling, look Buster: [Sends selfie] Rio: Baby Rio: Your smile is my favourite thing to see Buster: Well, good 'cause I mean it so you're gonna see loads more of it for the next 9 months Rio: You're precious Rio: Nothing but good news from here on out, yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: Everything's gonna work out perfectly for us, baby Rio: It is Rio: us and our baby Buster: We need to give it a nickname until we can actually name it Buster: It sounds weird calling it that, it Rio: Yeah Rio: Hmm Rio: You're better at nicknames than me Buster: I'm thinking Rio: What about anjinho Rio: if I teach you to say it Buster: If that means what I think it does then yes Rio: Yeah Rio: Little 👼 Buster: We have to, 'cause it's yours and gonna be just like you Rio: and yours and you Buster: You're gonna make me cry, I was smiling a second ago Buster: I'm not supposed to be the hormonal one Rio: It would be just like you to have an empathy pregnancy Rio: drama queen 😏 Buster: Fuck off Buster: I'm never dramatic Rio: Literally a dramatic response Buster: 😂 Buster: Fine, sometimes, I'm slightly dramatic Rio: It's alright, I like it about you Rio: can't be the only extra one, like Buster: Oh fuck, it's genetic Buster: Our poor baby Rio: No hope 😂 Buster: Shh Buster: Maybe it'll skip a generation Rio: It'll have a big enough ego to deal with it if not Buster: Yeah Rio: Don't worry Rio: whatever they are, we're gonna love them, yeah? Buster: 'Course Buster: I already do Rio: Me too Buster: What's next after the blood test? Rio: They'll hopefully tell us but I know you have like, at least 10 checkups with your first Rio: scan at 12 weeks Rio: Can find out about the classes and shit when you're here permanently Buster: Yeah that's when they'll hopefully figure out if its twins or not Buster: I'm gonna have to do all the classes Rio: I know you do screenings at roughly 10 to make sure everything is okay so Rio: it won't be long to wait Buster: Do you think we should plan a party or some shit so we can just tell everyone all at once? Rio: Could do, could make it easier Rio: or like, literal hell will break loose Buster: Option 2 sounds well more likely Buster: Maybe we should just tell our parents first and let them do the honors? Rio: I'm assuming my mother's intuition will kick in and she'll be in the know Rio: Probably amazed I got to this age without any, like Buster: I'll let her tell mine for me then 'cause she's gonna kill me Rio: Yeah Rio: Gonna hope she won't fight a pregnant lady Rio: wait 'til the kid is out, tah Buster: You'll be fine Buster: I was the one who told her not long ago that kids were in the way future Rio: Shit Rio: I mean Rio: it's too late now Buster: Yeah, but she's gonna think I lied Rio: I wish you'd had this angst earlier Buster: It's not Buster: Don't Rio: Well, she's gonna have to get used to it Rio: I can't do anything about it now, I won't Buster: Baby, don't get upset Buster: I'm sorry Rio: It's okay, I just can't start stressing about what everyone is gonna say and think Rio: if I make that my priority instead of the baby I'm gonna be miserable and do a shit job taking care of it Buster: Forget I said anything, okay Rio: I'm not trying to be unhelpful to you Rio: but I can't, not yet Rio: no one needs to know, it doesn't need to be ruined Buster: It won't be ruined anyway Buster: I won't let it Buster: What I care about most is you and the baby, it always will be Buster: Whatever anyone says and thinks Buster: It's us that matters Rio: Good Rio: I know that baby, I promise Buster: I love you more than anything Buster: And I want this baby more than anything Buster: Don't forget that Rio: I won't Rio: I love you too, Buster Buster: And don't worry Buster: I can handle my mum, or anything else Buster: You don't need to Rio: I'm gonna be there for you though Buster: Priorities, babe Buster: You have to grow this kid for us Rio: You're still my priority too Rio: Always will be Buster: I know but I'll be fine Buster: Look after him for me, 'cause he needs it more Buster: And yeah, I've decided I want a boy too, sue me babe Rio: Okay baby Rio: I'll look after your son Buster: Why is it so hot when you say it? Buster: Fucking hell Rio: Gonna have to get used to it before he's old enough to be embarrassed by our antics, babe Buster: Help me. Say it again Rio: I just can't wait 'til your son gets bigger and starts kicking and moving around Rio: imagine now excited you're gonna be then, babe Buster: Shit Buster: I never even thought about that Buster: I'll be able to feel him too Rio: Yeah babe Rio: You might even see him, which is admittedly, a bit freaky Rio: but kinda cool too Rio: Gus was always booting ma that hard, it was a madness Buster: Oh my god Buster: That's gonna hurt though, yeah? Rio: I don't think it's much in comparison to the main event so you know Rio: you probably killed your ma Buster: I'm trying not to think about that Buster: And yeah, we made her so sick as well Buster: Sorry mum Buster: I reckon you'll know if we're having twins way before they tell you Rio: Least if I am she can just be all knowing and evil about my suffering, like Rio: might calm her Buster: True Rio: Not saying that's point no. 1 but you know Buster: Do you really think your mum will figure it out? Rio: Yeah Rio: Maybe not yet but idk Rio: she's got a nose for that shit, seen it enough times, I guess Buster: Weird Rio: 😂 Rio: When I start vomming all the time but refusing a drink, it won't take a genius, like Buster: I know Buster: I just Rio: What? Buster: I don't wanna share this with them all Rio: Yeah Rio: I get it Rio: I don't think she'll make an announcement for me Rio: it's still our thing Buster: I'm being unfair, aren't I? Rio: No Rio: just cute Buster: You're just being nice Rio: I am not Rio: such a 😈 you'll see Buster: Yeah? Buster: What are you gonna do? Rio: I said you'll see Rio: patience, baby boy Buster: Those are stalling tactics Buster: I knew you were too much of a 😇 Rio: 😖 Rio: Don't Rio: First Indie calls me uncool, now you, so rude Buster: I'm not calling you uncool, I'm calling you a good girl Buster: And I'm motivating you, babe Rio: Hmm Buster: You know it's working Buster: Don't act like you're not even more determined to be bad now Rio: You're not always right, you know 😒 Buster: I'm not trying to come for your title Buster: I'm just right about this Buster: Prove me wrong about how good you are baby, I know you want to Rio: I will Rio: answer your phone

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I saw Buster: Where are you going? Rio: Not decided Buster: How much do you have in your account? Rio: Loads Rio: Great stream, like Rio: despite some vocal haters Buster: Yeah Buster: Get as far as you can then Buster: Fuck him Rio: I won't, that's the problem Buster: Like that's his only problem Rio: No need to tell me Rio: don't recommend you engage with him but Buster: What do you want me to do? Rio: Nothing Rio: Not forgotten how you feel about it, like Rio: not expecting sympathy Buster: Don't be like that Rio: Why not Buster: 'Cause I ain't him Buster: Don't treat me like I am Rio: Sorry Rio: idk what to do Buster: Come here Rio: I can't Buster: Why not? Rio: Plenty of reasons Rio: For one you don't wanna see me Buster: Don't be stupid Rio: Try and tell me otherwise Buster: Rio Buster: I want to see you Rio: Maybe I'll just fake out and stay Rio: how sad would that be Rio: unforgivable or? Buster: 'Course not Buster: You can do whatever you want Rio: Can I? Rio: 'cos Ryan don't reckon so Buster: What does that cunt know about anything? Rio: Enough to drag my name through the dirt Rio: that's for sure Buster: Enough that he has to try Buster: He knows he fucked up when he lost you but that's all he has a clue about Buster: And he was punching above his weight since day 1, he's also gotta be aware of that Rio: Nah Rio: he just hates me Rio: not wrong with what he's saying but Buster: Shut up Buster: That's bullshit Buster: He's got no right to hate you Rio: Maybe not but Rio: I get it Rio: nothing he says is untrue Rio: just wish he didn't care Buster: Fuck that Buster: I bet most of what he says is utter bullshit Rio: Nah Rio: hand him the ammo, don't I Buster: It's not your fault he's fucked in the head, babe Buster: Don't talk shit Rio: Just 'cause he's obsessed don't mean he ain't got a point Rio: whether I like it or not Rio: probably why it makes me so mad Rio: my easy money called into question Buster: Stop it Buster: You could leaving a nun life and he'd still wanna find ways to make you feel bad Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: Maybe Rio: unlikely to find that out any time soon Buster: Good Buster: Don't change for him Buster: He's worth shit, yeah? Rio: Yeah Rio: Still dictating shit regardless Rio: laughing with it Rio: why did I rise to it Buster: 'Cause you've had enough Buster: It's been going on so long Rio: How awful that I wish he'd just get a new girlfriend already Rio: why would I want that for anyone Buster: 'Cause you want rid Buster: I don't blame you Rio: Promise? Buster: I swear Buster: Don't blame yourself either Rio: Hard not to Rio: I did it Rio: so stupid Buster: You're not stupid Rio: Yes I am Rio: What was the point Buster: Shut up Buster: You're smarter than him Buster: And me Buster: We both know it's my fault you fucked Curtis Buster: I would've made it up to you if Indie didn't have other ideas, like Rio: Oh yeah 😂 high school dropout with one shit job and one dubious one Rio: genius, like Buster: You're not funny, doesn't mean you aren't smart Buster: So stop Rio: I don't want to Rio: can't Rio: idk Buster: What do you want? Buster: Seriously Rio: Am I meant to know? Rio: I don't Rio: I'm not like you, clever, whatever you want to call it Rio: I have no clue what I'm doing or why Buster: I don't buy it Buster: I know you've got goals Buster: You're as motivated as I am Rio: Why are you being nice Rio: not letting me mope Buster: 'Cause he keeps hurting you Buster: And like I said, I ain't him Buster: That and you won't let me kill him Rio: Can't be the egomaniac that tries to fight their own case Rio: never ends well, babe Buster: Don't underestimate me, babe Rio: 😂 Rio: just trying to give you a little dose of reality Buster: Bit late, don't you reckon Rio: I'm a tryer Buster: Yeah? Rio: You know it Buster: Don't give up then Rio: don't worry, at an airport, not the traintracks or bridge Buster: Hilarious Buster: Decided where you're going yet or what Rio: I'll check where's cheapest and where's going the minute I decide I wanna Rio: doesn't matter really Buster: 'Course it matters Buster: Going to a shithole isn't gonna cheer you up Rio: I mean Rio: I won't go to... Rio: Yugoslavia? idk Rio: somewhere sunny'll cut it Buster: 😂 Rio: just trying to hype your postcode Rio: i 👀 you Buster: I reckon its got itself covered Buster: And I ain't gotta hype me Rio: You have put those hours in by now, yeah 😜 Buster: Just you wait, babe Buster: Barely started with you Rio: I know Rio: Can't even blame all those false starts on how hot I am Buster: Welcome back Rio: 😏 Rio: Wishing you could be holding that sign at Heathrow, babe Buster: Obviously Buster: Really missing you, like Rio: Really feel it Buster: Good Rio: Well Rio: looks like I'm off to Spain Buster: I'll see you around then Rio: yeah? Rio: cool Buster: How long are you gonna be gone? Rio: just a few days Rio: can't leave indie Buster: I can check in Buster: She'd love it Rio: hmm Buster: You know she would Rio: yeah Rio: but i don't Rio: thank you very much Buster: What do you think is gonna happen? Buster: she's a kid Rio: an insatiable kid Rio: with no boundaries Buster: She ain't got any maybe but I do Rio: Some, like Rio: don't get carried away Buster: Fuck off Rio: What? Rio: Just saying Rio: too late to put some back in place Buster: Am I meant to care? Rio: Probably Rio: you still haven't realised? Buster: What? Rio: I'm going to fuck you up Buster: You wish, babe Rio: I seriously don't Rio: but I will if you let me Buster: The only way you can hurt me is the way I like Buster: Don't worry about it Rio: Okay Rio: you better be right Rio: i tried to stop this, let the record show Buster: I'm always right, babe Buster: And I'm sick of being stopped Rio: Same Rio: I wish it had been you Rio: sorry if you don;t wanna hear it Buster: It's alright Buster: I know Rio: what a mess Buster: I wish I could make you forget everybody else Rio: you could Rio: don't pick now to be humble Buster: Seriously though Buster: I hate that your exes get to treat you how they do Rio: Know how to pick 'em, right Buster: Yeah Rio: Tragic Buster: I ain't one to talk Rio: Yeah Rio: Right pair Rio: Commiserate with me Buster: I'll take a drink Rio: Sláinte baby Buster: Cheers Rio: what are you doing Buster: An assignment Buster: Technically Rio: Oop, my bad Buster: Yeah 'cause I'd rather study Rio: Should Rio: be a good boy Buster: Fuck should Rio: honestly Rio: tut tut Rio: what am i gonna do with you Buster: Everything Buster: And anything you want Rio: promises, promises Buster: What else do you want me to give you? Rio: just all of you Buster: I'll get myself to the airport then, shall I Rio: don't be moody Rio: everyone's in a mood with me Rio: i'm trying to be good Buster: I ain't Buster: I just want to actually be able to come with Rio: I know Rio: time alone will probably be good for me though, you who came for me on that, right? Rio: but i'll be thinking about you Rio: a lot Buster: I know Buster: You need to go Rio: Next time Rio: I'll come to you Rio: not because I'm running from someone else, yeah Buster: Yeah Rio: Am I being weird Rio: I'm airport drunk Buster: I like it Buster: Just make sure they let you on the plane, babe Rio: oi Rio: i'm a calm composed lady Rio: and there's a hen party on my flight who are gonna need all the handling so Buster: 😂 Buster: slip the hot ones my number, like Rio: no. Rio: you can't do any handling from there anyway hush Buster: Like I said, don't underestimate me, babe Rio: always want me to do your work for you Rio: your type ain't mine, trust Buster: We've already established your type ain't worth nobody's time Rio: fuck off Rio: girls are different Buster: You've got a type of girl too then? Rio: duh Rio: i celebrate all things woman, that's my whole job Buster: where's those exes, like? Rio: 😂 Rio: suddenly interested Buster: No shit Rio: typical bloke 😏 Buster: Not yours thank fuck Buster: So glad to be a different class Rio: you want me to feel offended? Rio: thought he weren't my fault Buster: I'm not shading you just the lads you've been with Buster: 'Cause he's the worst, yeah, but he ain't the only twat, is he Rio: what you gonna do about it, boy? Rio: you wanna matchmake for me? get me a 💎 Buster: I'm gonna give you better Buster: Then you won't wanna go back to all that bullshit Buster: All you gotta do is keep up Rio: Yeah? Rio: Never had a problem with that Rio: just don't keep me running circles 'round you forever Buster: You must be drunk if you're dropping the f bomb Rio: ha no Rio: just feels like forever Buster: One thing I can't argue with you about Rio: too right Rio: so shh Buster: I'm not in the library I'll be as loud as I want, cheers Rio: say something worthwhile then please Buster: Take lots of pics for me while you're away, yeah? Rio: Of course Rio: tan progress, naturally Rio: or if you're in the market for some nice bikinis Rio: got you, babe Buster: Standard Rio: will you call me Rio: i'm already lonely Buster: Now? Rio: No, you're working hard Rio: or meant to be Rio: but when i'm there and you've finished Buster: Yeah Rio: Don't have to Buster: I know I don't Rio: 😔 Rio: want me again Rio: i'll make it up to you Buster: I haven't stopped Buster: You know I can't Rio: but don't want to stop Buster: I want you Buster: That's all Rio: i'm going to make it so worth it i swear Rio: i know its been too long Buster: I've wanted you for years, babe Buster: I can handle waiting Rio: I can't Rio: I'm so mad at the world Rio: leave us alone for 15 minute god Buster: You sure you don't want me to call you now? Rio: 😈 Rio: Not my ideal mile-high fantasy with you obviously but Rio: I need it Buster: Maybe not but I've still thought about it Buster: Been thinking about it since you said you were at the airport Rio: You're really gonna need me to check that essay for typos then, babe Rio: I'm not going to the bathroom, so you do the telling and I'll be trying my best to stay quiet, yeah? Buster: Having you on my desk is a fantasy for another day Buster: Until then, yeah Buster: cum for me quietly that'll be a new one Rio: Sadly Rio: Fuck me 😍🤤 Rio: I love a challenge, yeah Buster: I love that either way I win Rio: I see no real downside Rio: you're going to make me cum either way Rio: whether i get forcibly removed from the plane is another thing but come on guys, be cool Buster: Well, if you are you know who to call Buster: Least I can do, like Rio: reckon they'd just fly through to spain, like Rio: no point coming back Rio: me sat there in cuffs Rio: getting too kinky Buster: 😂 Buster: I don't reckon there'll be many complaints Buster: They'll appreciate it if anything Rio: in flight entertainment Rio: not a male stripper, soz girls but you know you love it Buster: Put me there on the facetime if they get mad about it Rio: 😂 Rio: let you steal my thunder this once 'cos at least i'll get to see too Buster: you're all welcome, like Rio: save the best for just me though Buster: I will if you do Rio: Promise Buster: Okay Buster: I'm calling

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: Heyo boo Ali: thanks for Rocky wrangling with me today, you're now also his fave so, add that to your tally Carly: its k i had fun Carly: hes a cutie & cool kid Ali: me too Ali: yeah, he's alright, but cocky enough so I ain't telling him Ali: dunno where he gets that from 😏 Carly: ha Carly: yea idk Carly: no clue Ali: i'm sorry Ro was being off btw, I'm working out why but trust it wasn't you, babe Ali: been neglecting her lately, everyone wants a piece of me Ali: hard life Carly: idc its me too Carly: nobody wants a piece but you Ali: I just told you that ain't true, and Rocky is ruthless, he called one of my customers a 'big bum witch' the other day Ali: no tip for me, thanks dickhead Ali: but I want all of you regardless Ali: willing to throw hands Carly: aw Carly: this town is full of big bum witches tho Carly: my ma back for one Carly: but are you willing to use those hands for good too or Ali: awks if that was your Ma, like hey gurl, I think you rock it Ali: your daughter ain't bad either Ali: you know it, IOU 'cos we couldn't make like we were in the backrow of the cinema Carly: unless she been lying about where she at i think youve avoided meeting the in laws again Carly: k cuz you kno i need to collect soon Carly: bored Carly: just back and zoned out so fast Ali: ain't even got exciting stories from their galavanting? fucking rude Ali: at least when we go AWOL we also go wild Ali: make things happen, lads Carly: my ma's good for nothing but hairspray and peroxide Carly: only use if i get beat up again Carly: my da's good for cash tho if you wanna get wild w me Ali: or you wanna single white female me Ali: which would be a disappointing outcome to say the least Ali: can't tonight babe, I've gotta have some sister time Ali: go hard for both of us Carly: k Carly: try not to miss me bad when shes talking about me Ali: oh babe, she will not, and if she does I'll set her straight Ali: gonna let the world know you're my 😇 Carly: whatever her issue shes gotta air it and youre her sister so you gotta hear it Carly: idc shes not gonna hurt me w it Carly: and setting peeps straight is the opposite of how you do, babe Ali: true Ali: idk what issue she could have though, you're a literal ray of sunshine Ali: true again 😏 Ali: ugh, imma miss you Ali: maybe i can sneak out when she's gone to bed, the 'rents too Carly: i miss you now Carly: cant hear my parents say shit Carly: i just wanna talk to you Carly: dont tell me maybe & keep me waiting tho Ali: i will Ali: promise Carly: i dont wanna make trouble for you Carly: w anyone Carly: you can stay w her if you need to stay Ali: You won't Ali: I can do both Ali: be back before first light Ali: even if I'll miss watching the sun rise on your face 😔 Ali: we've got the night, baby Carly: but you kno if ive got you for the whole night youre gonna fall asleep Carly: thats what im good at Carly: feel free to tell your sister thats why you like me ha Carly: fun & tiring its magic Ali: hmm, we'll see who wears who out first, babe Ali: and if I am that husband, then you'll just have to wake me up with morning sex like the good little wifey you are 😘😂 Carly: always bringing that confidence i like it Carly: k but if my parents wake up too you can explain its a duty thing yea i had to like Ali: i like you Ali: for so many reasons and imma show you all of 'em tonight Ali: fuck that Ali: stay out with me, its warm enough Ali: i'll trace all the constellations out with my tongue so you won't ever forget Ali: educational Carly: my ma is asking me what im blushing about Carly: i told her what you said but she's not a believer Carly: support my education bitch Carly: ha Ali: i mean, i'd offer to let her see the benefits for herself but Ali: not gonna win me any brownie points 'cos she won't take me up on it Carly: she dont kno what she's missing but i do Carly: wish you were here Ali: me too Ali: start the party without me babe, i don't mind Carly: too late if you do Carly: gotta get through this reunion some way Ali: they aren't making you watch a slideshow, are they? Ali: fate worse than death Ali: Maybe you could go to Ronan's? Lmao, he's been up in my pussy way too much since he found out about us...didn't think we were THAT loud but ok boy Carly: yea Carly: might do cuz same Carly: but what if i miss you he can really make a night of it when he wants Ali: Nah, I won't let you face that disappointment, babe Ali: my spidey senses will tingle like not on my watch, fuckboy Carly: aw Carly: you gonna come get me? Carly: thats no way to get him out your pussy babe fyi Ali: yeah Ali: I know but I like the idea of showing you off as mine Ali: but no sharing, he only gets to watch and be mad he fucked it up Carly: i like it too Carly: youre hot when youre oneupping fuckboys Carly: i thought i knew how to do it best but k youre flipping the script Ali: as long as i'm besting them i'm doing my job right Ali: gotta keep you on-board Carly: speak of the devil Carly: how he know i was alone & horny Carly: my parents have only gone to the shops its uncanny Ali: know your neighbours but bit stalkerish, pal Ali: i'll text him to fuck off, freak him out Ali: how does she know, ha, two can play this game fucko and I'm more committed Carly: ha Carly: you gotta Carly: hes smoking im gonna bum one see what line he tries to lay on before the text sends Ali: On it Ali: gotta let him know there's a queue to court the princess now and he's at the back, soz Carly: he likes hitting it from the back he wont be put off Carly: im gonna show him some of the hot pics i took of you tho Ali: when is he ever tbf? 🐶👅💦 Carly: true Carly: that fucking cute tho aren't i Ali: you know it babe Carly: hes talking to my da now Carly: kill me Ali: how fucking dare he Ali: knowing he has the upper hand with the man bants Ali: i know how to change a tire too! love me! Carly: if my ma invites him in for tea im out of here Carly: she will think hes hot under the collar for her & bitch thats my groundwork Ali: Run baby run Ali: what kinda moron is he tho Ali: coulda had a private show if you just waited, now its all saturday night telly and flat lager Carly: you kno i have nowhere to go if you dont want me babe Carly: facts Carly: he likes me now he cant have me what a fucking Carly: like i wouldve fucked you but im not getting w you Ali: i do, is this full sos crisis mode though? 'cos i need to be good for a lil while longer yet Ali: such a typical bloke move that Ali: bet he ain't the only boy in ur inbox, not a pun Ali: 'cos he ain't in mine like 🙄 Carly: its k your sister needs you Carly: i can keep walking Carly: loads of other lads on site as well as in my inbox Carly: & they arent trying to say hi to me before we get down to it nevermind my parents Ali: 😾 Carly: why so sad blue eyed boo Ali: i don't like how lads treat you Ali: i'm not jealous, like swear to god, even though i obviously want you all to myself, i get it Ali: but i'm not about how shit they are to you, even if you don't care, they should care to be decent humans Carly: thats not lads its everyone Carly: youre the only one treating me different Carly: they dont know how else to be Carly: made my bed babe Ali: nah Ali: you don't deserve half the shit you get, that's bullshit Ali: and even the rest, people just don't wanna try to understand or be good, heaven forfend they inconvineince themselves for one second, like Carly: if im a slag im a slag i dont get to put conditions on it Carly: if it was a film maybe Carly: but theres no romance coming my way from theres and i dont want it Ali: why can't you just be you? someone who likes fucking, among other things Ali: not romance just like...not being a cunt Ali: idk Ali: pisses me off Carly: cuz you don't run the world even tho you strut it like you do and i love it Ali: not yet, babe Ali: one day, and you can be my right hand woman Carly: yea? Carly: take me w you & ill take you to all your fave places k Ali: k Ali: we'll be fun forever, I promise you Carly: gotta be Ali: you know i like you even when you ain't tho Ali: don't tell Carly: who would i Carly: ronans got enough for his wank bank & nobody else is chatting to me rn Ali: exactly, ruins the illusion and fantasy when they realise i care about you Ali: so unsexy of me Carly: youre sexy to me Carly: idc what they think Ali: good Ali: me either Carly: i like you too you kno Ali: yeah Ali: i had my suspicions Carly: i dont have any subtlety sorry about it Ali: Don't be Ali: I love it Ali: not enough people say what they mean or want, ever Carly: waste Carly: k i wasnt shouting how bad i wanted to kiss you before i did but not cuz i was bothered about me Ali: agreed Ali: sometimes you can't know you want something until you've got it Ali: i get it Carly: you get me Carly: its weird Ali: 🔮 Carly: ha Carly: k what am i thinking now Ali: wouldn't be proper to say Ali: tut tut bad girl Ali: like how you think though Carly: fuck Carly: youre good Ali: 🤷 don't mean to brag but remember that phrase you'll be screaming it later Ali: such a Ronan line, I can't 😂 Carly: but true Carly: not like when he says it Ali: 😍 Carly: what you doing w your sister Carly: gotta live through that cuz bored Ali: Fixing my weave Ali: getting into a white girl dread territory over here Ali: then gonna do some 🔮 forreal Ali: get ready for me to be even more of a know it all baby Carly: cute Carly: tell me my future i got some shit from another neighbor & im waiting for it to kick Carly: hows it gonna treat me Carly: needing a good trip Ali: we'll see who gets the answer first Ali: you got anything for me? Carly: yea Carly: they mystery but i kno you arent scared Carly: & you got me doing a test run rn lying on here on the grass Ali: 🌌 be there before it fades away my space explorer Carly: if you find me at a bad end prob dont take it Ali: is one of the lads trip sitting you Carly: so he reckons but hes drinking so theres no trust Carly: & he gave me it Carly: his game could be me lights out idk Ali: keep texting me, okay babe? Ali: if shit gets too real, tell me and I'll come early Ali: my sis is cool now, she gets what we're doing, she was just confused Carly: aw Carly: youre sweet Carly: you told her you like me Ali: 'course I did Ali: I ain't ashamed Ali: I'm proud Carly: youre gonna make me cry Ali: You're special, Carly Ali: You're gonna see Carly: I just wanna see you tho Ali: Me too Ali: I'm gonna make her some chamomile tea and then I'm coming, yeah? Carly: but thats not fair to her Carly: she's not gonna be a fan of me Ali: I've promised her more time tomorrow Ali: You need me rn Carly: but what if i want you to stay Carly: what are we gonna do then Ali: i'll stay until you're ready for me to go Carly: you mean that? Ali: yes Ali: promise, imma take care of you Carly: but theres nothing in it for you Carly: youve already got me you dont have to Ali: i wanna keep you Ali: and not just selfishly Ali: you gotta stick around, you're too cool to go anywhere, okay Carly: k Carly: im here & if you wanna be im not stopping you Ali: good Ali: i wanna be wherever you are Carly: i kept you pills back the lads didnt want me to but idc about them & you can follow me in now Ali: fuck them Ali: just me and you Carly: yea Carly: ill look after you too Ali: 😇 Ali: i know, i trust you Carly: idk if you should Carly: but i like it Ali: willing to take my chances Ali: you're worth it Carly: thats you Ali: i'm so glad i met you Carly: me too Carly: not that i met me thats weird Carly: you know what i mean Ali: i got you Ali: not high yet 😉 Carly: id seen you around before you guardian angel'd me that night Carly: thats weird too Carly: that i didnt see you how i do now Ali: it is Ali: you were always cute but Ali: idk, i can't claim to have seen this in my crystal ball Carly: thats cuz i wasnt cute i was a state Carly: & youd have more likely seen me sucking ronans dick Carly: look away babe you dont need to have that image in your mind Ali: don't need him reckoning he plays part in any of my fantasies, nah Ali: you can't not be cute, no matter how you try, soz babe Carly: you can't not be so sweet to me can you Ali: dunno Ali: not tried Carly: idk what id do if you did Carly: i got used to it Ali: got no plans to stop Ali: unless you ask me to, like Carly: thats not gonna be what i ask you to do Carly: trust me Ali: you can tell me all about it Ali: 5 minutes, tops Carly: okay