#we're talking bromeliads pothos pink lady

[cthulhusstepmom]

"Simon, come in."

Ghost isn't quite sure why Price had called him to his office. He's been downright docile this past while. Between his new bond with Hugo, his deepening relationship with Soap, and a mild injury to his shoulder, he's been spending most of his time parked on base whittling away the hours before the next mission.

He takes a seat in one of the Captain's mismatched chairs. Price takes a long drag of his cigar and Ghost tilts his chin, responding in kind.

"There's no easy way to say this son..." He pauses as if he's weighing his words. "I'm glad that you and Soap are getting close. And I support it I do this isn't about that."

He'd be a hypocrite if it was, Ghost thinks, and Nikolai would be inconsolable.

"Guess It's best to just to come out and say it..." Simon tilts his head in question.

"You can't buy sex toys on the company card."

If he'd been drinking anything it would be splattered up the inside of his mask.

"Fucking what??"

"I can see the receipts son and so can the MPO." His Captain's lips are pulled back in an uncomfortable grimace.

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about cap." He leans back in his chair, arms crossed defiantly. All that shit was on his personal card.

"I'm not judging you or your decisions Simon I just can't justify it as a business expense."

"Can I at least see the receipt? Bit unfair not to show a man what he's accused of innit?"

Solemnly, Price shuffles through a stack of papers on his desk; holding out the printed off the email notification from the military post office when he finds it.

Simon takes the page with no small incredulity, scanning it over with a careful eye.

"Fuck my Pink Princess is here? That was a bitch to get through customs."

If possible, Price's face screws up more.

"I don't want details Simon, just your word that it won't happen again."

"Price it's a Philodendron."

"I'm shocked and appalled that you think I'd know what that is."

Ignoring the complaints of his scandalized Captain, Simon reaches for the small box on the desk, producing a knife to carefully slit the tape. All the while ignoring the increasingly vocal complaints coming from the other side of the desk.

"I don't want to see it son, it's none of my business what you get up to behind closed doors just- the fuck is that?"

"A Pink Princess Philodendron." Simon mutters as he examines the carefully packaged plant.

"...Simon thats a plant."

He grunts.

"Simon that was 150 quid."

He grunts again.

"Simon you used the company card for a £150 pink plant."

"Plus shipping."

"For fucking why??"

"It matches Hugo's coloring."

...

"Get out of my office."