#we're short staffed so nobody gets to take the back office and have a break.

[apocalypticdemon]

I am so beyond ready to quit this job. Wednesday cannot come fast enough.

[ashthemadwriter-archived]

Love Like Cherry Blossoms

—Osamu Dazai X Fem!Reader

Summary: Y/n is a normal citizen with a normal life. Everything in her life goes as planned; work, home, eat, sleep and back to work; but things suddenly change when she switches bodies with a member of the ADA, by accident.

Genre: Fluff, Romance, Smut, Fantasy, Humor

Warnings: Mentions of female body parts, Dazai being a creep, language

Word Count: 2.4K

A/n: From now on, I will use she/her pronouns for Dazai and he/him for reader.

Series Masterlist ⇝ Part Three

"So?"

The young woman slowly tilts her head to the side, sending a relatively sharp gaze toward her boss who's sitting in front of her behind his fancy ass desk.

"So?!"

"So Why did you call me in the middle of work hours? I doubt that the reason is to stare at each other's faces!"

The manager closely examines the woman's face. Her h/c hair is perfectly curled as always, her makeup is light and heartwarming though it's not as nice as ever due to her mascara spreading under her eyes, her face is decorated with a soft smile that he is used to see every time she arrives at the café; everything looks soothing and normal.

Then, why the hell is she creeping the shit out of him ever since that bloody accident?

"Listen y/n, the reason I called you to my office was that... We got a few complains from a couple of customers"

"Oh? What does it have to do with me?"

"The complains were about you"

The man holds a small ipad in front of her, shrinking his hand when she slowly takes it to avoid any type of physical contact. Y/n however is calm, her smile extending as she reads the unpleasant remarks about herself.

NekoChan42: Have you guys seen that barista from Kiyomi coffee house? She had an accident a few weeks ago and now that she's recovered... She looks weird.

DaishouKoganeeee: Tell me about it! Yesterday I went there to order a cup of Turkish coffee, but she didn't even take my order! Said that she was busy at the moment; busy with grabbing her boobs and smirking at the sight like a fucking creep.

HelpI'm6feetunder: Well can't really blame her, I would have done the same if I had access to those boobs...

Y/n smirks as she places the device on the desk, pushing it toward the manager without making any attempt to break eye contact. It's unlikely for her to be this relaxed in a situation like this, given how frightened she used to get every time he called her to his office. She's actually one of the best workers he has ever hired; always on time, always wearing a nice smile and a nice attitude toward the customers, it's the reason why the café is so busy ever since she was hired; because nobody can resist that pretty smile and that angelic look of hers, not even the manager himself.

When she remains silent for a while, the man has to speak up in order to break the tension filling the room. "Well? Care to explain yourself?"

"I am surprised that you're scolding me for this sir" The woman's voice sounds really confident, maybe too much for someone who's caught checking out her own body in front of other people. "I mean... How you ever even touched women's breasts in your life?"

"Excuse me?" The manager looks irritated, not only because she's saying such lewd things in front of him, but because she actually has a point.

"Those soft comfy meatballs that make the most important curves of a woman's body, making all men drool over how stunning she looks in a fine black dress, showing off those flawless creations... Ah! They really are god's masterpiece."

It's odd to be both touched and petrified at that sensual little speech of hers, but it's what the manager's feeling at the moment.

A few knocks on the door earns the manager's attention. He spares a glance at y/n, granting the permissions for the interrupter to come in.

It's Asami, the cashier. "Ah, sorry for intrusion; but can you dismiss y/n? We're short-staffed today because Amane is on her day off, so we really need y/n right now"

The manager actually feels at ease. He's not sure if he wants to keep up with this conversation, so he might as well grab the opportunity to free himself from this state. "Sure, we will continue this later"

With a small bow, the woman exits the office, heading to counter while fixing her apron. Asami hurriedly shoves the coffee tray in her hand. "C'mon c'mon, take this coffee to table three. He's been waiting for almost fifteen minutes"

Table three. It's placed at the corner of the café that has dim lights, and doesn't really stand out. It's the perfect place for lovey dovey couples, and also for someone who wants to avoid attention.

As the woman approaches the table, the sight of the brunette catches her eye. She can only see his back, but only from that she can tell how uncomfortable he's due to his figure being so stiff, something that scarcely happened to her when she was... him.

She keeps smiling. The atmosphere is so drastic yet she doesn't lose any bit of her calm, placing the coffee on the table. The man looks up from the table and stares at the woman, looking shocked. It's not like he didn't expect her here— he was actually waiting for her to deliver her order; he just isn't used to seeing his own body standing in front of him.

"Well hello there, y/n" The woman flashes him a soft smile. "To what do I own the pleasure?"

The mans expression is not surprised anymore. There are fade shades of anger and threat in his eyes, and he looks like he's about to pull out a gun from his pocket and kill her right on the spot.

"We need to talk."

"There you are, you bandage wasting machine"

Bandage wasting machine. A name that he's been called ever since he woke up from coma.

Y/n does not expect to be called by his own name, but being called by a name rather than insults is not much to ask for.

Kunikida has been keeping an eye on you since the day you opened your eyes from your long, stressing sleep. He is always monitoring your actions carefully, shoving the medicine in your mouth claiming that you'll lie about taking it again, suspiciously asking you if your report was written by yourself or you made poor Atsushi to do it again, repeatedly saying you have smacked your head against a wall or something...

This Dazai person must have been a real pain in the ass, and now that she's got a hold of your body, you're not very eager to take it back; because god knows what hell of a mess is waiting for you in your own life.

You couldn't come up with any other excuse better than coming down with sudden amnesia. It was stupid and typical, but strangely, they all bought it. It wasn't even luck— you strongly doubt that luck is in anyway involved with this person, but it was weird how a couple of as sharp as a tack detectives believed your crap, since you've never been much of a skillful liar.

Not that you're exactly complaining though.

Looking to your left, your eyes set on the white-haired boy's sympathetic smile. He's been the most considerate one around, the only person that never gives you a hard time and is the only normal person around here.

Ah, normality.

You have to do many things to seem normal. You have to carry a suicide book that gives you the creeps literally everywhere with you, have to wear a roll of bandages although your skin itches underneath them and you're tired of replacing them with new one— which is something that Dazai herself probably avoided to, in the mornings, you have to annoy the poor blonde man and mess with his habit of writing down everything in his apparently pricey book; and these are not a peace of cake to you, at all.

Yet you have no choice but to play along with the rhythm.

Kunikida's voice takes you out of zone, bringing you back to reality. "I'm heading to a mission with Atsushi. Since all the other employees are off to do their own tasks and no one's here, I need to make sure that you'll be alright by yourself"

You really want to protest and give him an earful; but honestly, can you even blame him? Dazai wouldn't be alright by herself. She probably would set the whole building on fire and by the time his coworkers arrive there would be nothing but ashes left.

"...You've been acting odd lately. Decent, responsible, it's not really you. I hope it's not one of your stupid tactics before a suicide attempt"

The guy is just worried about his friend.

Although he just mentioned that your acting skill haven't been up to much, you don't hold back from smiling at your— no, his colleague. "I'm alright, Kunikida. I am thankful for your concern, but nothing's going on. I guess I'm just... ah... trying to be a better version of myself? You know... since I nearly died and now I value life..."

A pile of crap indeed. Dazai Is probably asking women to commit suicide with her at the moment. You won't be surprised if you find yourself to be known as a lesbian when you get back into your own body.

Kunikida won't buy it, you think to yourself; but the knot on his eyebrows slowly fading away prove you wrong.

"I certainly hope that's the case... Well then, we're off"

After a week, you're finally alone by yourself.

There's nothing much to do around here. You don't understand anything of their work and you try not to get involved as much as possible. It's obvious that Dazai was good at what she did since people are looking up to you to get back to work, but you aren't Dazai. You're just a barista.

You get up and stretch your arms, deciding to give the café downstairs a visit. At least there are some people there and you don't have to be alone in this dangerous place anymore. God knows what kind of ability user will barge in and take your head. You're aware of Dazai's nullifying ability and you know martial arts yourself, but none of them would be enough to stop the trespasser, or at least that's what you think.

As you take the stair to the first floor, your first time at the café comes into your mind. Kunikida told you to act decent— no, it was more like threatening you not to flirt with the waitress or he will roll up his sleeves and have the honor of beating the shit out of your ass himself.

All you know is that Dazai was a playboy, an irresponsible man who never took care of himself and made everyone else worry about him, a smarty pants who apparently had a lot of enemies after his blood, and basically, a menace to the society.

"Welcome, Mr. Dazai"

It's the waitress, standing behind the counter with a warm smile. She looks as pretty and lively as always, making you suddenly wonder if you can actually blame Dazai for setting his eyes on her. She was gorgeous.

"Is there anything you would like to eat?"

Kunikida always picked up the tab, so it actually feels weird to come here alone. You're usually the one who prepares the orders, not the other way around.

"Some tea would be nice" "I will get it right away"

The waitress heads to the kitchen after politely nodding, leaving you alone with your thoughts. How did this even happen in the beginning? How long are you going to be in this body? Is there anyway to get back? Or are you trapped here for the rest of your life? Because that would be a nightmare. The salary here is higher than it was in your previous job, but you don't know what to do here. This position isn't made for you. All you can do is just helping out regular employees to organize paperwork, but that still won't save you from being a target. Everything is risky here.

Ability users scare you. You've never been involved with one before, and now you're literally one of them. It's a huge step. Too much.

"Here's your tea sir"

The small sound caused by the cup placing on the wooden counter is delightful.

"Thank you! How much is it?"

Oh.

Dread finds its way to the woman's face as he turns back to look at you with disbelief and shock.

Great. What the fuck did I do this time?

"You... want to... pay?"

You're now as shocked as her. It can't be... so this dumbass never paid for himself?

"Eh... yes"

"Oh that's great news!" She sounds a little too happy. "I was actually going to mention the life insurance again, but it's great to see you finally deciding to pay!"

Dazai... I'm going to murder you.

You beam modestly, taking a sip from the cup.

"In that case... Will you also pay your debt anytime soon?"

The damn drink shoots out of your mouth. Of course there's a debt.

You literally want to slam your head against the wall, but something stops you. This Dazai person has a lot of shit going on. Maybe you could help her a bit by helping her to get out of the red. Thankfully, it's the beginning of the month and your credit card is not empty yet; so you reach out for your wallet, happy with this charity-like gesture as you open it to hand in the money.

"I will. How much should I pay?"

"Thank you so much for finally doing this! Well, the total of your six months debt comes to..."

Your jaw drops.

"What?"

The waitress flashes you a weird look. She was surprised when you didn't hit on her like you— Dazai usually did, and how your attitude has changed so much, but you are still intelligent, right? You must've known that your debt is huge since you didn't pay for your meals for six months.

Except that you don't have a clue about anything, and you're literally about to rage.

"How— What— When— Are you fucki— That's what I make in almost a year! Just— Bye!"

You run. You just run out of the café, humiliated. You know where you're going. Oh, you gotta inform her that she has one more enemy now. You're going strangle her. You're going to kill her! You don't even care if that would be in her favor because she'll get to die by the hands of you, a woman. Can you even be counted as a woman anymore?

Fuck this shit. I'm gonna give her a peace of my mind.

Which brings you to your current situation.

Dazai is looking at you with an annoying smirk, and you don't know if you want to punch your own face or not.

"Sit the fuck down, you fucking creep"

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