#we're gonna have to fucking SMITE me at this point to get me to stop
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I will not stop talking about my meds. I got home yesterday with the intent to clean my guinea pig's cage and I actually did it. I washed and cut my hair after that and didn't feel like I wasted my evening. I need to make phone calls today and the dread of not knowing how long it's gonna take isn't hanging over me bc frankly it feels like time has slowed down. I'm actually cooking breakfast with what handful of groceries I have left and then I'm gonna buy more and actually plan a few meals. Life could be a dream
#i am at what i am led to believe is a normal person baseline. and i have coped for so long to achieve while not there.#i think i could learn a new language in the span of a month with how i've been feeling lately#literally the only downside so far is that i've been thirsty as hell but that's probably good for my POTS so??#have also been noticing when i'm hungry and have actually been eating more; i'm getting breakfast every day!!#i was doing that before but i've actually been keeping it up for a week or 2 now!!#gonna try to start adding in some exercise to help my joints; got a 3 pound weight at work bc It Was Right There#and wanna try doing planks again; saw a tip from someone's dentist about flossing that was like#pick one day of the week to do it and try to do it on that day every time; then pick a 2nd day to do it#and i think i wanna go that route; might open comms bc i feel like i can physically keep up with them now#we're gonna have to fucking SMITE me at this point to get me to stop#shai speaks
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hi so i.found ur blog and its honestly like a breath of fresh air to look at so if its ok i might just fuckin,,vent here.
so. ik a lot of other people have been talking abt how pof was really straining to watch and i am.very late to the party but i need to talk abt it bcz holy fuck. when i first watched it i was in a way better place mwntally, also the general excitement of wow,content kinda overrode the headache and the eye hurty and the just. bad. but i was rewatching it recently because i was basing a fic off it and i just. i couldnt finish it because all of it was just so much and there was no fuckin warning?? so that was pog ig
next thing because i have. a lot of thoughts. ive been in the fandom for not-very-long, i joined in the middle of 2019 or something.and it just kinda sucks because im only still here for the fandom. i love the series but i can only watch dwit and compilations of logan/roman being sad so much before i can basically recite them off the top of my head. but i reallyreally love writing for the fandom!! it makes me so happy to do the writing, its just the fact that im not as invested with the series that makes me feel,,idk man guilty ig?? anyway thats too deep for a rant so im.a move on
god so tw me not liking post aa virgil and me talking abt toxic friends but hoooly fuck man. i just. pre aa virgil was fun because he was snarky and sarcastic and i could actually stand the nagst because his character made sense?? he was the 'bad guy' and he wasnt as woobified back then and he was honestly a solid vibe. but post aa virgil gives off the vibe of that one friend who fuckin, gets angry at you when you bring up any of your mental health issues and then blames their outburst on their mental health issuea and its like?? no i hate that character dynamic. people say bad things when the feel bad, sure, ik i have, but its the vibe of 'im gonna threaten you and then blame it on my mental health but if you so much as look at me wrong while ur having sensory overload or something i will smite you with the force of one thousand suns' and i am just.so tired. also ithink someone else said this but we should just call the series 'virgil sanders and the rest' because thats what it is now ksbdjqkbsq
also (all ofthese are my opinions btw and im not trying to say im rigbt im just tired honestly) the way. in pof the way patton's whole thing is 'you need empathy' is not funky fresh for both people with low empathy and high empathy đ bcz ppl with too much/too little empathy are always told theyre 'cold' or that theyre 'oversensitive', the whole 'there is an average amount of empathy and if u dont have that fuck you actually' is icky and bad and gross. i do think patton's character is really well done in the series but that episode jjust personally. ick.
and finally the moment uve not been waiting for bcz this is probably really tiring to read but the moment youve been waiting for-fwsa.just. why. its cute and stuff and i love nico. nico is a vibe. also bathroom man john is great. but shouldnt roman still be on shit terms with thomas?? like lk we're just gonna sweep away the whole 'i thought i wad ur hero' shizz? cool cool, glad to know romans arc still aint happening. also i get it, we needed to cement that virgil is a light side now. but like..did we?? actually bcz this is so long im gonna send in a second ask (im sososorry if this clogs up ur ask box if u tell me to stop i will i just. many thoughts) abt how even though i hate virgil, his arc should have been done. so differently. just gonna put like,, a mushroom emoji here so u can put the 2 asks together if u want đ
Youâre always free to vent here! Sorry it took so long to respond but life has a cruel habit of getting in the way of things I need to do.Â
So for starters, the POF problem should be talked about more so I can assure you that youâre not late to the party. It never really got the amount of attention it deserved so I am more than willing to bring that back up and trust me, youâre not alone.Â
And again, youâre not alone in this either! Plenty of people still enjoy creating content for these characters. You donât have to feel guilty for not finding the actual series interesting because honestly, Iâm kinda losing interest too. But I still love these characters and I love that the fandom is still creating stories with them through different mediums.
Honestly I agree with just about everything you said about Virgil and I do eventually plan on tackling a lot of this in a future post. You know, if I ever force myself to just sit down and write the dang thing...Â
Oh my gosh Iâve been waiting for someone to talk about this because that whole thing about empathy in POF really ticked me off because youâre absolutely right, not everyone is 100% empathetic, and some people can be empathetic to a point where it hurts themselves. Like I get what they were trying to say but it came across as, well, like you said. âIf youâre donât have this exact level of empathy then eff you I guess youâre a bad person.â Maybe that actually wasnât their intention but it sure came across that way and maybe Iâll go into it a little more in another post because now that Iâve been reminded of it again I kinda wanna talk about it more.Â
Okay yes, FWSA on its own is a good episode. Heck, itâs one of my favorites. It feels closer to a season one episode than ATHD thatâs for sure. The problem with this episode isnât the quality but the fact that it comes right after POF. And Iâve basically gone over this in my âProblem With Asidesâ post and how it affects both Roman and Virgilâs current arcs so I wonât go into much more detail here but just know that I pretty much agree with all of this.Â
Also donât worry about cluttering up my inbox. Itâs here for people to share their thoughts and thatâs exactly what youâre doing! Hope to see your part two soon mushroom anon!Â
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The Complete Fiction of HP Lovecraft rated by me, someone who read them all* but has a terrible memory
The Beast in The Cave: uh a guy goes on a cave tour and finds a creature that was like a human that got lost and adapted to its surroundings. 0/10 just because im pretty sure there was another one with this exact premise and neither of them were memorable at all.
The Alchemist: dude achieves immortality and lives in the narrators basement and has pledged to murder his entire lineage or something. 4/10 the alchemy stuff was actually kind of interesting
The Tomb: im pretty sure this is the one where a guy starts hanging out in a tomb and like travels back in time/becomes one of his ancestors? 5/10 if its the one im thinking of i did enjoy reading it
Dagon: guy lands on a mysterious island with signs of a long dead civilization. 1/10 i do not remember what happened in it
A Reminiscence of Dr. Samuel Johnson: 0/10 i have no memory of this
Polaris: also 0/10 i forgot all about it
Beyond the Wall of Sleep: could be any of the dream focused ones. if its the one about the dude sailing into the void or whatever than 4/10 not too bad
Memory: ironically, i dont remember it. 0/10
Old Bugs: 1/10 for the title god i wish i remembered this one
The Transition of Juan Romero: i got nothing. 0/10
The White Ship: this might also be the one about the dude sailing into the void? i liked that one he lived in a lighthouse and boarded a dream ship and just fucking left it was fun. 4/10
The Street: uh i think really steep street that didnt actually exist. 3/10
The Doom that Came to Sarnath: i wanna say another one of the dream centered ones where a town discovers some old relics and blatantly disrespects them and gets exactly whats coming to it. 5/10 they deserved what they got
The Statement of Randolph Carter: ok this dude shows up several times. i think this one is about how he returns to his childhood home then travels back in time and creates a time loop paradox thing. 1/10 meh
The Terrible Old Man: uh some thieves harrass a weird old guy and get got. 5/10
The Cats of Ulthar: someone is mean to a cat in a dream city, all of the rest of the cats get revenge and are revered for the rest of time. 2/10 (-3 because lovecraft has a specific name he gives to apparently every fictional and real cat he encounters and wow i wish he hadn't)
The Tree: i feel like this is something to do with a person becoming a tree but i cant actually remember. 0/10
Celephais: yeah no i got nothing 0/10
The Picture in the House: also nothing 0/10
The Temple: nope 0/10
Facts Concerning the Late Arthur Jermyn and his Family: is this the one where the dude's great grandfather married an ape? i dont think so but im not sure. 0/10, -5/10 if it is that one cause that one was especially shitty
From Beyond: nope 0/10
Nyarlathotep: charismatic dude shows up and is like get in bitches we're going to the void. i love nyarlathotep cause hes the one who directly interacts with humanity and like wears a human suit or whatever so hes just some dude whos like hey im gonna feed you to azathoth 5/0
The Quest of Iranon: got nothing 0/10
The Music of Erich Zann: narrator makes friends with an old musician whos being hunted by supernatural forces. 2/10 because i remember it but it was just ok
Ex Oblivione: 1/10 for the title but i have no clue what it was about
Sweet Ermengarde: lovecraft's sole attempt at comedy. not to my taste like at all 0/10
The Nameless city: nope 0/10
The Outsider: also nope 0/10
The Moon-Bog: sounds cool, dont remember it. 0/10
The Other Gods: dude tries to find the gods of humanity where they live on a big mountain, actually finds them, is immediately smited by the Other Gods who protect the gods of humanity. 3/10 he deserved it
Azathoth: dont recall, 0/10
Herbert West- Reanimator: Arkham man Herbert West and his assistant ressurect the dead with little thought to the consequences, then get murdered by a band of said resurrected dead. 5/10
Hypnos: nope 0/10
What the Moon Brings: also nope 0/10
The Hound: still nope 0/10
The Lurking Fear: again, nope 0/10
The Rats in the Walls: dude returns to his ancestral home, hears rats, excavates the basement and finds out that his ancestors ate human flesh, eats his friend. 1/10 it was an interesting read but can lovecraft please stop calling cats that.
The Unnameable: no clue 0/10
The Festival: nope 0/10
*Under the Pyramids: ok im pretty sure this is the one with houdini which is the only one i could not read. i went into this mentally prepared for lovecraft's bigotry but i was not mentally prepared for him dropping harry houdini, avid skeptic who absolutely would have beat the shit out of him for this, into the middle of his super racist paranormal horror. -1000/10
The Shunned House: nope 0/10
The Horror at Red Hook: also nope 0/10
He: cool title, no memory of the story. 0/10
In the Vault: wow im bad at this. 0/10
Cool Air: still no 0/10
The Call of Cthulhu: kind of all over the place, there was a thing about artists and then a thing about a cop investigating a cult. 3/10 meh but ill give it a bonus for being a staple of horror fiction.
Pickman's Model: uh artist sees some wild shit and draws it and then it eats him. 2/10 i forget the details
The Strange High House in the Mist: if this is the one im thinking of, dude does a dangerous climb to find a mysterious house and meet the inhabitant who is kind of interdimensional and also being hunted by interdimensional things. also maybe the house eats people? 2/10
The Silver Key: another Randolph Carter one, and i think this is actually the one about him travelling back in time so idk what the other one was. 3/10
The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath: randolph carter goes on a quest in the dream world to find the gods of humanity and ask why they wont let him check out this cool city he can see from his window. lots of action and very wordy and went a lot of different places. 4/10 good read but extremely xenophobic
The Case of Charles Dexter Ward: guy investigates his ancestor who looks disturbingly like him, ancestor comes back to life and kills him and takes his place and a bunch of other stuff happens. mostly a dramatized genealogical study. 3/10 not bad, very suspenseful
The Colour Out Of Space: meteor lands on a farm, scientists get weirded out by it, everything in the area gets weird then dead, alien thing gets enough power from draining nearby life-forms to escape earth. fun twist ending. 4/10 bonus for being one of the better ones, detraction for writing out a 'rural accent'
The Descendant: nope, 0/10
The Very Old Folk: nope again, 0/10
History of the Necronomicon: very dry. fake history of lovecraft's fake book thats super important to a lot of the stories. 0/10
The Dunwich Horror: isolated witchy family has a kid who no one likes that grows up real fast. graphic descriptions of renovation. a horror gets unleashed on the area and the local folklore scholars have to deal with it. 1/10 nothing good enough to counter the xenophobia
Ibid: i remember this one. no idea what it's deal was. pseudo-bibliography? it was weird. 0/10
The Whisperer in Darkness: guy has a correspondance with another guy about local folk legends based on evil crab things. other guy gets straight up replaced by an evil crab thing and first guy doesnt even notice. imagine if you followed up on a scam email and didnt realize anything was up until you saw that the face of the dude you were talking to in person was a mask. 4/10 for the comedy this guy would not last in the internet age at all
At The Mountains of Madness: guy whines about penguins and how awful it would be if there were civilizations that predated humanity. also commits grave desecration. i get hit by the realization that if lovecraft was less of a racist coward he wouldve made a great speculative sci fi author. 3/10 i would love to watch that old asshole get absolutely torn to shreds by the monster fucker community
The Shadow over Innsmouth: Fish People! Leave Them Alone! Or Else! 5/10 the protagonist gets to live the dream by escaping human society and becoming an immortal fish person
The Dreams in the Witch House: dude rents an objectively haunted room, doesnt listen to people trying to help him, gets murdered by a weird rat. later they find a shit ton of bones in the attic. 2/10 meh
Through The Gates of the Silver Key: Randolph Carter transcends time and space, then de-transcends time and space and immediately gets stuck on another planet in the distant past, makes a long and difficult journey back to earth to find that his estate is being divided amongst his heirs. the comedy potential of a man stuck in an alien body dealing with a legal system that has declared him dead is not examined. 2/10
The Thing on the Doorstep: narrator's good friend marries a fish person witch who steals his body. thats basically it. 3/10. at this point im like wow these narrators really refuse to believe the heavily foreshadowed supernatural explanations that turn out to be correct huh.
The Evil Clergyman: dude is in a room. some ghosts (?) show up. dude has a UV light for some reason. Gets his face stolen i guess and just has to live with it. 5/10 for being absolutely buck wild and refusing to explain anything
The Book: nope 0/10
The Shadow Out Of Time: dude gets his body stolen by ancient scholar species. agonizes about it for a while. finds archaeological evidence of said species. finds a book he wrote while living with said species. almost gets eaten by something. 3/10 more cool speculative sci fi but lame protagonist
The Haunter of the Dark: you'd think id remember it bc this was the last one and i read it last night. oh wait, nvm i do remember it. dude finds an old box in a run down culty church and unleashes a horror that then comes and fucks him up. 1/10 meh.
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