#we'll- *I'll* get used to it. I got used to Ralph I can get used to this.

[labyrinthzone-enjoyer]

Phone guy fans Pre-PitGame and Week Before: ugghhhh I wish Phone guy got new content

Phone guy fans after seeing the PitGame Easter eggs: what the fuck not like this

[wheels-of-despair]

Live A Little | A Worth It AU | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

In This Edition: You and Ralph venture out of your cabin! Words: 1.3k

You wake to the sound of angry whispers.

"It's not proper!"

"Those kids have been through Hell together!"

"They're not married!"

Ralph's eyes open. You hold your breath and listen closely, watching each other beneath the covers and not daring to move a muscle.

"And?"

"And it's despicable! Having to share a room with… with…"

"With my niece, and the boy who saved her life?"

"I thought you said his sister was on board! Send him there, or back to the lounge!"

"My girl wouldn't leave that boy to get on a boat and save her own life, and you think she's going to let him go because you said so?"

A proud smile spreads across your face. You knew Aunt Molly would always be on your side.

"Ugh!" The other woman groans in frustration, and you hear the door open.

"If you think for one minute that I'm--" Molly shuts the door, and your eavesdropping is abruptly cut off.

"She's got it wrong," Ralph whispers. "You're the one who saved me."

"Aunt Molly is never wrong," you smile.

"Then perhaps we'll have to agree to disagree."

"That won't do," you argue, reaching out to cup the side of his face. "Because we saved each other."

You're already close, but you both move your faces forward just a tiny bit for a kiss.

The door closes again.

"Food's here, kids! I let you sleep through dinner last night, but I draw the line at missing breakfast."

Aunt Molly sits on her bed and tells you about how the other survivors are being treated by the generous crew and passengers of the Carpathia while you eat, but you find it hard to concentrate. You do notice that she makes no mention of the argument with her roommate… whose few possessions have disappeared.

Molly leaves again when you've finished eating, and you and Ralph return to bed. You've never been so exhausted in your life. You're grateful for your tiny bed, and the boy you're sharing it with.

There are no windows in your cabin. The only marker of time is whispered words on well-timed bouts of consciousness with Ralph. You remember getting up to eat once more, and to visit the lavatory. You have a vague memory of Molly suggesting that you switch beds, now that Hettie had found other accommodations, and guiding you and Ralph to the slightly larger mattress.

You'd continue to sleep inches apart anyhow.

"Should we go find Victoria?" you ask, during one of those rare occasions you're both awake at the same time.

"No," Ralph sighs. "I don't want to see her."

"I don't want to see anyone but you," you breathe.

"Likewise," he says.

And then you both drift off again.

"I can't stop dreaming about it," Ralph admits another time.

You know exactly what he's talking about. It haunts you too.

"What would you like to dream about?" you ask.

"You," he answers.

"Perhaps if we concentrate on happier things, we'll dream about them?"

"It's worth a try," Ralph sighs. "I want to see snow. Real snow, not just a flurry. I want to be in a warm house, with you, looking out the window at the falling snow. At Christmastime."

"That sounds wonderful," you smile, closing your eyes and trying to picture it. "I'll make us hot cocoa... we can bake cookies… maybe it'll be so hot, we'll have to take our clothes off…"

"Mm…" Ralph hums.

You both drift off again, hoping to experience the romantic scene you've set instead of the horrifying vision of the sea swallowing an unsinkable ship.

It's not until after dinner, delivered by Molly, that you feel truly awake again. Your aches have subsided. Your brain isn't foggy anymore. Your body still wants to remain in bed, however, so you lie there on your back next to Ralph, looking at the ceiling.

"I think I'll enjoy being on solid ground again," you muse.

Ralph doesn't respond. You turn your head to see a worried expression on his face.

"Ralph? Are you alright?"

"Do you still want to marry me?

His question makes your heart stop. Is he having second thoughts? You turn your gaze back to the ceiling, rather than stare at him in fear.

"Of course I do, Ralph. Do you still want to marry me?"

"Absolutely, but… do you think your parents will allow it?"

"I'd like to see them try and stop us," you respond without even having to think about it.

Ralph looks taken aback by your comment.

"I love you, Ralph Penbury," you smile, squeezing his hand and gazing at him in adoration. "I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Whether it's an hour or a lifetime, I want it to be with you. And I don't give a damn what anyone else has to say about it."

Ralph's eyes begin to water. He leans over for a kiss. It starts sweet, but soon turns desperate. Passionate. Something you haven't felt up to in days.

"I'm so happy I met you," he breathes.

"So am I," you smile, cupping his jaw and staring into his beautiful eyes. You can't imagine spending another day without him.

"Let's do it," you suggest.

"Do what?"

"Let's get married."

"Have we not just established we're going to?" he asks.

"Now."

"Now?"

"Let's get married now," you clarify. "They can't object if it's already done."

"Do you mean it?"

You nod.

"But… weddings take months to plan."

"Do you want to wait months, Ralph?"

His brow furrows, and you can see him weighing his options.

"You'd be willing to forego the dress, and the flowers, and the church? Your family being present? All those traditions? For me?"

"I don't need any of that, Ralph," you smile. "All I need is you."

"Are you sure?"

"Ralph, please don't think that I'm trying to pressure you into this. We don't have to do this if you don't want to. We're both tired and hazy still. If you want to--"

"No," he interrupts. "Are you sure you want me?"

The unsure look on his face pains you. How can he not see that he's your entire world? You lean forward for a deep kiss.

"Now who's mad?" you ask, pulling back with a smile. You cradle his face in your hands. "Of course I want you, Ralph. You're the only one I've ever wanted. And I'll still want you tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after that. We don't have to do this now, if you're not ready. I'll wait forever for you."

Ralph stares at you for a moment, then laughs.

"I love you," he says, leaning over to pepper your face with kisses.

"I love you too, Ralph," you giggle, lying helplessly under his attack.

"Well, my love, shall we find ourselves a minister?" he asks when he finishes.

You grin and roll out of bed. You visit the lavatories and fix yourselves up the best you can, and set off in search of a holy man. A steward directs you to the person you're looking for.

You had no idea a wedding could happen so quickly. All the ones you'd attended back home had taken months to plan, like Ralph said. Hundreds of guests, many of whom the bride and groom probably didn't even like. Thousands spent on venues and decorations and dinner for hundreds. So much commotion, the people it was for barely had time to speak to each other.

And then there was this. A quiet ceremony in a dark corner of a ship's library, days after an event that would surely be one for the history books. In the clothes you'd been wearing for days. No fanfare at all; just you, the man you love, and the man reading scripture who would happily sign the necessary papers for a young couple who chose love in the face of tragedy.

It was perfect.

[iispancakes]

I saw this tweet and though hmm lemme see what I was up to and we'll...

Now I think I've posted this before but I can't remember if I added context. My partner and I had watched a film adaptation of the book "a mouse and a motorcycle" so I drew him, ranboo, and tommyinnit. The prompt (from my partner) was, and I quote, "drawing of twitch ranboo tv with Ralph the rat with YouTube's tommyinnit pogging like woah. But ranboos small and tommy is normal size." This then became a series. We saw a trailer for a game called "sack of flour, heart of gold" and thought that's funny it sounds kinda similar so theyre dating. So of course I had to draw it.

"OH NO WHYS HE IN THE HOSPITAL HOW DID THIS HAPPEN!?! Also why are all the hospital staff fruit?" I hear you we're getting there. Also idk about the fruit I kinda realized I couldn't make them people cause they're small so. Also at this point Mouse's names changed to Ralph.

[I had to learn how to draw a dirt bike for this and I never posted it to insta even though the original got 60 likes (which is pretty high for me) idk why I didn't share the rest. Anyway I drew the said motorcycle 5 COUNT EM 5 times. I've never drawn mechanical stuff before this was a first for me.]

They're at a stunt show and sack of flour decides to do an impossible jump only a few have attempted. Ricky begs him not to. He's already won the competition! But sack of flour has to, for honor. BUT sack of flour falls from his bike mid triple flip and crash lands. he's terribly injured. Ricky's runs to his one true love to dig him from the rubble. Ralph doesn't know what he'll do with our him if he doesn't make it. Sack of flour speaks his first words to comfort him. (I didn't even think about it at the time but the fact he muffles earlier in the comic and can only speak after his sack is ripped insinuates that sack of flour is actually just flour and the sack is restraining him???)

And that's how he got hospitalized! But how did these two lovers meet?

Well "(He) met him at the candy stoooree" leaning up against the counter in his ripped leather jacket. he really was the leader of the pack.

Okay, well, did sack of flour live? Did he recover?!?!

I'll let you decide dear viewer.

Prompt for the last one, is again from my partner, "at bar Ricky the rat drinking a lot. Mug dog is bartender, imposter is at bar, so is Walter White. All* enjoy mug root beer."

*only imposter from among us and mug dog are enjoying the mug root beer. Walter White doesn't enjoy anything and Ricky has become a depressed alcoholic.

Thank you to anyone who's read this! I hope it brings you as much joy as it does me.

[countrymusiclover]

45 - Us Against Triad

Part 46

Her Life Means Everything

@mrs-fanfiction-2001 @the-big-bad-klaus @queenieala @samsgirl93

Walking through the school I chose to wear a cameo long sleeve shirt and ripped blue jeans. My hair in braids falling down my shoulders. Klaus and I brought the girls back to the school early since they were on a mission to save Landon. "My squad answered the Bat-Signal." Hope declared simply.

"She's coming!" Both Saltzman twins grumbled to each other, clearly upset about the information from yesterday.

Nikola scoffed, flashing her wolf eyes towards them. "I need all the help I can get, so please put your twin war on pause."

"Why is he going? He hates Landon." Ralph noticed Jed standing by me. Klaus was near the front door waiting.

Jed explains. "Look, you're the Alpha. If Landon's your pack, that makes him ours."

"Where's MG at?" Kaleb asked, looking around.

Hope headed towards the front door opening it to see armored guards outside. "He's on his way. Let's load up while we wait for him. Come on."

"Oh, sorry. We were about to knock." The leader guy spoke up.

Halting in my tracks I grasped Nik's hand in mine seeing them holding loaded crossbows with stakes among others. "Klaus?"

"Easy love." He mumbled under his breath towards me.

Lizzie snarled standing beside me on the other side. "Who the hell are you?"

"Name's Burr. Triad Industries." The stranger replied back.

Hope and Nikola attempted a spell together but nothing happened. "Propellere."

"Kids get out of here. We'll handle them." I declared vamping forward with Kaleb following my tail until his hand started burning from the sun. Getting in the sun I groaned feeling my hands bursting into flames until I vamped backwards into Klaus's arms.

He scans me over carefully seeing confusion written on all of our faces. Something was clearly wrong if our witch spells and daylight weren't working. "Bloody hell, Maddie!"

"What you don't got is magic. Which is why your daylight ring won't work. And what we have are stakes, wolfsbane... and other things. So I think you should invite us inside." The Triad guy declared before their entire team entered the school. They were in search of a magical artifact that belonged to Malivoire.

Klaus closed the door behind me quickly locking it so we were in the kitchen by ourselves. Rubbing my thumb over one of my hands I sucked in a breath still not believing that they made a way for my daylight ring to not work. The only way it didn't work is if the witch that cast the spell undid it as far as I know. "This shouldn't be possible...Klaus what are you doing?"

"Since you and the girls can't leave the school. I'll go out to stop them." He opened one of the kitchen windows staring at me with that determined father look on his face. "I'm the hybrid. They can't keep up with me."

He started climbing out the window until his back hit the sun and he started to burn. I gasped, covering my hands over my mouth quickly yanking him back inside. "Klaus. Oh my god!"

"Bloody hell...that shouldn't be possible!" He bared his teeth with me running my fingers through his hair. "I'm the hybrid...and an original...we don't need daylight rings!"

Blinking my eyes his wounds weren't healing as fast as they normally would. "Then it must be something surrounding the school. Meaning we're completely trapped here. We need to find our daughters." Footsteps headed towards Alaric's office when we entered the hallway, causing me to gasp seeing the Triad guy drawing a gun towards our daughters and the Saltzman twins.

"You're not very scared of me, are you? How about now?" The Triad guy said, finally holding the gun in his hands.

Hope chuckled not thinking he was serious. "That's your plan? You're gonna shoot a kid?"

"Plus if you do I'll rip out your vocal cords and put your head on a spike!" Klaus growled when the Triad guy just smiled in our direction as we stood behind the kids.

He explained loading the gun right in front of our eyes making me gulp in fear. "This gun would never harm a human child. You three, however... These bullets were formed from the mud of the Malivoire pit and weapon by Triad scientists. They can break the skin of any supernatural like a hot knife through butter. Fester. Infect them. Disintegrate them from the inside out."

"We don't know where the chalice is." Josie exclaimed, shifting her gaze to her friends.

Burr smirked, slowly moving the gun in between pointing it at each girl. "I believe you. This is just for fun, really. Eeny... ...meeny... ...miney... Moe." He fired the gun shooting Josie who jumped in front of Lizzie who was going to get shot.

"It's okay. It's okay. It's okay." Hope and Lizzie lowered her body to the ground.

Creating my fangs I vamped forward about to snap Burr's neck but he apparently had one bullet left in his gun because he pulled the trigger almost hitting me in the heart. "Mom!" Nikola and Hope screamed in terror.

"Maddie - urgh Maddie!" Klaus vamped forward catching my body as I collapsed onto the floor. Gripping the sides of his black jacket I gasped seeing a dark liquid covering where the bullet went in.

Burr put the gun away as some men entered the room putting us all inside the cell in the basement. "Lock them up."

Pressing my back against the wall I winced trying to remain calm. Josie had Hope and Lizzie at her side while Nikola was on the other side with her father. Klaus gripped my freehand in his with my other made into a fist. "You're gonna get thrown this, Maddie. You hear me. I love you."

"I love you too, Klaus..." I sucked in s breath squeezing his hand in mine watching Nikola struggling to not start sobbing.

Hope was watching us then focused back on the Saltzman's. "You guys, I'm so sorry. I mean, I dragged you both into this, and I have absolutely no idea how to get us out of it."

"Well, that is just not good enough, Hope. My sister is clearly dying, and we did not wait ten years to become friends with you and your twin for you to not come through with your annoyingly perfect Hope Mikaelson heroics when we need you the most." Lizzie shakes her head crying while holding her sister's hand tightly.

Josie agreed with her taking a hold of Hope's hand before Lizzie took a hold of our daughter's other. "She's right, for a change. It's hero time, Hope." Secours later the guard that was watching us dropped to the ground revealing MG who broke us all out.

Klaus draped an arm around my waist helping me walk through the school until we made it upstairs to our daughters room. He lays me down on the bed tucking my hair out of my face as Hope explains. "Dad, we have to go get Landon and put whatever is blocking our powers down."

"Then I'm coming with you." He rose to his feet still grasping my hand in his.

Nikola raised her hands in the air, not agreeing with him coming along. "Dad, I know that you want to rip them apart. But mom is in pain and may not have long unless we stop them. So you have to stay here and protect her."

Shifting my body around so I was sitting up more against the pillows I waved the girls over with my hands. Feeling a sharp pain racing to my heart. "They're right, Nik...girls come here.."

"I love you, mom. Always and forever." Hope mumbled through some tears intertwining one hand with mine. I could hear her heart skipping a beat with worry.

"I love you too, mom." Squeezing my hand in hers I grabbed Nikola's hand too where she was crying heavier than her twin.

Pulling them both in a hug at the same time I sighed in relief. Each of them throws an arm around me leaning into my embrace. "Girls, I want you to listen to me. No matter what happens to me I love you. I love you so much - and I am so thankful that I got to be a mom and have you two. Just remember, that I will love you always and forever. Now go save the school my little heroes."

Nikola's POV

My sister and I quickly entered the Triad building hearing a creature fighting someone. My sister gasped using her magic to prevent the last piece to raise Malivoire. Whipping my head around I gasped seeing the creature trying to kill my boyfriend so I rushed forward gripping the metal bars. "Landon!"

"Nikola...I knew you'd find me." He gasped in relief at seeing the two of us.

My sister sat down the final piece getting in a fighting stance nodding in my direction. "I just followed the clues you left in that voice mail. You're great at riddles. We should probably add fight training to your coursework, though. Feel free to take notes."

I ran forward running forward where the creature focused on us swinging his chain of bones but he throws me on my back harshly where my sister attempted a spell on him but it didn't work. "Incendia!"

"He won't die. You know sci-fi stuff. Help me. How do we kill him?" Groaning I forced myself to my feet snapping off on my boyfriend.

He tried to correct me but I wasn't in the mood. "Uh, Headless Horseman is more fantasy."

"Get to the helpful part. Ignari!" I snapped throwing a spell but it didn't work yet again.

Landon snapped his fingers seeing a head hanging from the creatures cap. "In-in the O.G. cartoon, he had a pumpkin head. That... he might keep it with his horse? Correction! He's got it under his cape. kill the head, the body dies. That's science faction."

My sister grabbed a pole knocking the head away from the chain. Running forward I grabbed the head and another pole stabbing it straight through where the creature fell dead onto the floor. "We did it...we actually did it." I breathe out running my fingers through my hair until I looked down to my soulmate. Bolting down the stairs I jumped into his arms where he stumbled backwards a little catching me stumble a little.

"Woah easy there...so uh what now?" He asked holding me up smiling sitting me to stand on my own feet.

Resting my hands on his shoulders without thinking I leaned up on my toes pressing my lips onto his mumbling in between a long kiss. "I love you..."

"What?" He tried breaking the kiss.

Wrapping my arms around his neck I drew him back in for another long kiss. "Before anything else happens you need to know that I love you..." Breaking the kiss I stared into his eyes feeling the bond just telling me to just keep kissing him. "I was terrified that what I was feeling was just the soulmate bond but I don't care...Like we wouldn't be like my parents...but now I don't care...'Cause I love you, Landon Kirby."

"I mean, it wasn't a huge secret, because I love you, too, Nikola Mikaelson. And I forgive you for anything that needs it. And I know it looked like I was losing when you got here, but that's just how Phoenix combat looks, so..." He replied grinning ear to ear resting a hand to my cheek kissing me deeply.

Twisting my hands into his curls I deepened the kiss. Landon wrapped an arm around my waist moaning into the kiss until we heard Clark's voice making us separate. "Nothing like young love, is there? Shame it has to be so short-lived." He throws the knife into the pit of goo.

"No!" My twin cried before Landon picked up the chain of bones throwing it around Clark's neck killing him.

I gasped feeling turned on by my boyfriend's sudden moves. "Damn. Phoenix combat's no joke."

"Guys we've got a big issue." Hope blurted out trying to think of a way to stop it. "Nothing's ever immortal. I mean, not really. Nature won't allow it. There's always a loophole."

Landon looked for an idea from her or me. "Any brilliant ideas? Because I think we're running out of time."

"Just one. But you're gonna hate it." My sister stepped forward cupping the side of his neck then snapping it quickly knowing he would come back.

I gasped sharply, bending on a knee beside his body. "Hope, what the hell. Why would you do that!"

"Because he would have tried to stop me. Now I need you to put what I say down in your phone for Dr. Saltzman-" She started but I cut her off handing her my phone. "Just call him yourself."

She put Dr. Saltzman on speaker phone so I could hear him too. "Hope, tell me what the hell you're about to do right now before you do it."

"Clarke won. He found the final artifact, and he tossed it into the pit, which is Landon's father, by the way. And now Malivore's gonna rise unless I stop him. Landon got all the answers, but, basically, Malivore was created by the blood of a werewolf, a witch and a vampire. It used to be that only they could destroy what they created, but nature found a loophole. By making me and Nikola." My sister scoffed, dropping her freehand at her sides staring at me. "The Tribrids. I'm the loophole."

Dr. Saltzman raised his voice as I was putting the pieces together. "Hope, you listen to me. Now, this is a theory, okay, and you don't even know if this is gonna work, so you just sit tight, and you wait for me to get there."

"Sis, are you insane? It'll break mom and dad's heart if you do this. And what you're just gonna leave me without giving me a say!" I shouted at her, feeling some tears welling in my eyes.

She spoke out to both me and Dr. Saltzman provided a point that we were important. "After all this time, I mean, my purpose is finally clear. Think about it. I'm the answer to all of this. I can remember things about Malivore that no one else can. That Triad weapon didn't affect me. Did my blood heal Josie and our mom?"

"I am not okay with this." He warned through the phone.

"Neither am I. We're twins, sisters, each other's best friend.." I felt my voice croak alongside some tears.

Hope sighed grasping my hand in hers where I caught sight of our matching bracelets hitting each other. "I know. But you will be, because once I toss myself into that pit, no one at school will remember me. Including you." We thought it was cute how mom and aunt Caroline had rings so we made our own.

Dr. Saltzman begged her, trying to talk her out of this. "Hope. You listen to me."

"I don't want anyone at school to miss me, because they're my friends. Maybe I would have seen that sooner if I hadn't been beating myself up all this time." She started crying to our uncle knowing that one of us had to make the hero move. "This is where you tell me that even though you wish you could change my mind, you know I'm doing the right thing. This is the part where you tell me you're proud of me."

Uncle Ric's voice started breaking as I attempted to wipe away more tears that kept coming. "You know I'm proud of you. You know it. What is it you need me to do?"

"Call maintenance. Have 'em pack up my room. Take my files, all those notes I know that you keep about me, and burn them. Along with Landon's journal." My twin explains sternly to him.

He kept disagreeing as I noticed Clark was starting to wake up but I might just be overly emotional. "Listen, if you want to erase yourself, that is on you, okay, but you can't ask me to do it, too."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Saltzman. But I trust you more than I trust anyone." She admitted before hanging up the phone taking my other hand in hers pulling me in for what would be our last hug.

Burning my face into her shoulder I struggled to get my words out. "How could you do this...how could you not tell me or our parents. I can't...I don't want to forget you, sis. We're supposed to face life together always and forever...I'm gonna jump with you-"

"No, Nikola you can't. You don't have to do this. I have always looked up to you because you look out for me. Being the hero and all...so now I'm taking your place. So you can live a happy life with Landon." She mumbled into the hug.

I barely broke it grasping her shoulders just letting myself cry. "But I want you there with me too, Hope. So let me jump with you."

She moved one hand up to my cheek sniffing through tears before I felt her do a spell making my body collapse onto the ground. She wrapped her bracelet around my wrist mumbling before I passed out. "I love you, Nikola."

"Dr. Saltzman?" Rubbing my eyes I heard Landon's voice talking to uncle Ric.

He replied through the phone. "Landon. I'm on my way."

"Okay. Uh... I don't... I don't really know what happened." My boyfriend runs his fingers through his hair seeing that I was awake.

Dr. Saltzman clearly was confused and I could hear it in his voice. "Yeah, well, that makes two of us. I just found a note that you'd need me."

"I guess I do." My boyfriend hung up the phone pulling me up to my feet seeing that I was wearing matching bracelets on each wrist. "How did you get the same bracelet twice?"

Shrugging my shoulders I hold it in hand seeing one charm that has different initials then mine which doesn't make sense. "I have no idea. Do we know anyone with the initials H. M?"

Officially done with Legacies season 1

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[liviavanrouge]

Forever Love

General Lilia: *Wrestling with Duke, the two shouting at each other*

Ambert: KICK HIS TAIL LILIA! GET HIM, BEAT HIM UP!

Cobra: You guys are so annoying

Baul: *Watches the two wrestle silently betting on Lilia winning*

???: ENOUGH!!!

Lilia: *Immediately drops Duke, looking at Thea*

Duke: OW! DUDE, THAT HURT!!

Thea: *Huffs, walking past Lilia, looking annoyed*

Lilia: Lady Thea....

Thea: *Narrows her eyes at Lilia, her ears flattened back*

Lilia: I uh...sorry for snapping at you when you were healing my wounds...

Thea: You need to control your temper!

Lilia: I get that a lot.....my bad...

Thea: *Snorts, and turns away* You're forgiven but next time I'll slap you

Lilia: *Chuckles, smiling at her* I'll remember...

Thea: *Glances at him, then looks down* Do you think we'll ever be happy?

Lilia: *Stares at her then looks away* Maybe, but I'll wait forever if I have to, so one day we can be happy...

Thea: That's so cheesy

Lilia: Yep! Sounded better in my head!

Thea: *Laughs, shaking her head*

/Years later/

Thea: *Lay's asleep, Lilia's head resting on her back*

Livia: MAMA! PAPA!!

Lilia: *Grunts, their children climbing over him*

Silver: Sorry Father

Thea: *Smiles, opening her eyes* Yes? What has my babies so excited

Ralph: We wanna go to the strawberry patch!

Maria: We wanna bring back seeds for our garden!

Shadow: It'd be fun and educational for us to learn how to plant strawberries correctly!

Lilia: *Chuckles* We can do that...

Thea: Yeah, we have enough room in the garden...

Lavender: YAY!

Golden: Then let's go!

Elikai: I wanna pick strawberries!

Barin: ME TOO!

Lilia: *Gets up, and stretches* Then let's go! What are we waiting for!

Thea: *Stretches, popping her joints easily before following them* Everyone got their baskets?

Livia: YEP!

Lilia: Let's get going then!

Thea: *Chuckles, walking beside Lilia*

Lilia: Happy?

Thea: Yep and I'm surprised you actually waited for me all these years

Lilia: HAH! I told you I'd wait for you didn't I?

Thea: Ugh, still cheesy as ever

Lilia: *Laughs, shaking his head*

[multifandomfern]

So I’m watching a video where someone got their wisdom taken out and they’re loopy so I challenge you to do headcannons what the husbands would be like if they got their wisdom teeth out (would they be loopy tired or emotional?) and how would the wives feel about and how they take care of them?

I'll try my best, but this is a lot and I have no experience with anyone who's gotten their wisdom teeth out.

Being my self centered self I'll start off with Lukas and I! I feel like Lukas would just be pretty tired. I think he would be more clingy which I would gladly indulge in. I'd pet his head, give him kisses, and I'd cover us in blankets. I'd put on a movie (maybe Wreck It Ralph ooh) and Lukas would likely fall asleep to it.

Ari and Matthew next since this is Ari's challenge. I guess Matthew would just be really loopy. He would be talking about thoughts he'd usually keep to himself. Ari would listen to him and keep the others away. She would talk to him even if nothing makes any sense. @piscesgirl2020

Scout and Alfred next! Alfred's dumbassery gets dialed up which is saying a lot because that man can be really stupid! Everything he says makes zero sense, but Scout still listens. Alfred would attempt to do dangerous stunts, but he'd be too tired to really get anywhere. Besides Scout would be taking great care of him. @a-dorky-american

Arthur...well he's just drunk. Kat would cuddle with him and help him figure out if he's protestant or catholic lmao. Okay that's a joke (or is it?) but Kat would likely have to stop him from knitting before he makes a mess with the yarn. @koolkat9

Lovino is weirdly calm. He's just confused and tired, so Eli helps him to bed. He doesn't have the energy to be angry or a whiner baby lol. There Eli tells him stories until he falls asleep and finds him to be adorable. Eli probably talks about their plant babies. @elithegnome

Kiku is probably pretty emotional. This is the time where his emotions and inner thoughts come out. He's still calm, but he'll be showing his emotions a bit more. So Fweebie will help him through those emotions and rub his back as a bonus. @fweebie

Finally posting this. I hope you all like it, I really did try! Now I'll use this to "promote" the new hetafam ask blog! @ask-the-hetafam There is where we'll be answering questions about our AU. So if you have any questions send them there. We're still figuring things out, but I'm sure we'll get to them!

[ca-8]

Yakko x Reader Scenario: When You First Meet

'This is it. The beginning of the end.' 

Gripping on the straps of her backpack, (Y/n) exited the bus and stared up at the water tower that displayed the famous Warner Bros. logo. As expected, it emitted a smug aura onto the entire area; however, surprisingly, there was a slight twinge of mystery to it as well. But she didn't have time to ponder about it, so she only gave it an uneasy look and headed straight for the entrance.

Her heart stopped. She knew the place was going to be busy, but it was like an entire New York City packed in one section! So many writers, producers, actors, large men carrying heavy sets, every type of person working in film was scattered all over the place. It was like an ocean, with the people as marine life doing what they're designed to do, and (Y/n) being the puppy that was abandoned at sea.

The moment it all settled in, an involuntary realization invaded her thoughts. 'I don't belong here.'

The young girl reminded herself to breathe and rushed over to a vacant wall, then pulled out her phone. She had already sent her mother about a thousand messages telling her she was here, but since she hasn't responded, a few more shouldn't hurt. Fingers rapidly typing away, she bit her lower lip, already wishing she had stayed on that bus. 

"Oh, you're just gonna love it!" Her mother's squealing voice had already filled her skull. "You're so talented, I know you're gonna fit right in."

'Yeah, standing around all day with a bunch of people I don't know while doing something I suck at is exactly how I wanna spend my summer.' She let out a soft sigh. 'It's fine. Just shut up and make her happy, (Y/n).'

Several attempts of calling and texting later, no response. (Y/n) sighed again, and her eyes wandered over to the bustling crowd. 'No way. Absolutely no way.' But if she wanted to get the day over with, absolutely yes way.

First, she walked up to a lady looking down at the clipboard in her hands. "Um, excuse me," (Y/n) said. 

The lady's head snatched up. "KYLE!" she yelled, her eyes now ablaze with fury, "YOU IDIOT! THAT GOES IN THE WAREHOUSE ACROSS THE STUDIO!" And like there was nothing but a breeze behind her, the lady stomped off to the poor soul that had to face her wrath.

The breeze took a step back and ran around the corner. 'Maybe I'll find someone else instead…!' (Y/n) stopped and spotted a man sitting on the steps that lead to the entrance of a small building. She swallowed whatever was left in her mouth and reluctantly approached him. 

"E-Excuse me, sir?" she stuttered, hoping her voice was louder than the last time. As she got closer, (Y/n) noticed he was chuckling, and his gaze was glued onto a small piece of paper. 

"I...I did it…!" he said. She yelped and shrinked back when he suddenly jumped to his feet. "I FINALLY DID IT! WE'LL SEE WHO'S REGRETTING THE DIVORCE NOW, MARGARET!" And with a manic laugh, the man dashed into the building. 

'...Or maybe I'll just find it myself.'

It wasn't too long before (Y/n) got herself lost. Despite the help of maps that were stuck to some of the buildings, all of them seemed exactly the same. It was like a maze, and with each passing minute, she was more and more convinced that there was no finish line. Even worse, her mother was too busy to respond to anything she sent her. 

'Oh, what should I do?' (Y/n) thought for the thousandth time. No matter how hard she pinched or held them, her arms refused to stop trembling. Not too long ago, the outside of the studio became deserted and she'd hate to walk in a warehouse and possibly interrupt something important, so asking for help again was out of the question.

...Or, perhaps it wasn't. 

A tiny, hopeful smile crossed (Y/n)'s face when she heard the sounds of frustrated grunts around the corner. It was the first time she was so relieved to see a stranger. 

And thank god that stranger was a security guard. Though she wondered why he had a giant net in his hand, she shoved the curiosity as far in the back of her mind as she could and reached up to gently tap his shoulder. 

"Um, excuse me sir?" she asked as loud as she could. 

His head whipped around, revealing angry eyes and a scowl that said he was ready to kill. But right as his gaze landed on her, it changed within an instant. 

"Oh, hello!" he said with a bright smile. 

(Y/n) blinked, cocking her head. ‘What was this guy up to?’

"I'm sorry to bother you, but do you know where (M/n) (L/n) is filming? I'm her daughter, (Y/n), and I'm trying to look for her. She's not answering her phone either."

His joyful expression slowly melted into a confused one. "Uuhhh…(M/n) (L/n)?”

“Yes. She’s a part of Animal Kingdom? Do you know where that’s being filmed?”

“Oh! I know there’s a zoo around here called Animal Kingdom! I don’t think you’ll find it in a film studio, though.”

(Y/n) frowned. “...No, I mean the show. Aren’t they filming in a warehouse today? Do you know where that is?”

“Who’s ‘they’?”

Her eye twitched, and she was just about ready to drown the entire studio in the nearest ocean. “N-Nevermind, I’ll just-”

As if the universe wasn’t satisfied with tormenting her enough, the security guard suddenly launched up into the air and flew into the sky. Right before her eyes, the heavens were coated with explosives of every color that ever existed. 

“Oh my god!” (Y/n) yelled. ‘Who strapped fireworks on that guy?!’

“Oh, I knew you’d love it!”

Her eyes were ripped from the loud fireworks show as she was immediately smothered in a hug. “It’s so nice that another girl’s here! All the other ones here are either too busy or just keep shouting about a restraining order for some reason. I dunno, but anyway, I just know you're gonna love it here! Anyway, my name’s Princess Angelina Louisa Cantessa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the third! But since we're friends now, you can just call me Dot.”

This confirmed it. This was a trap set up by her mother to deliberately drive her insane, because how else can someone explain the nut jobs and talking dogs in pink dresses? 

A combination of those two things happened to be clutching her head and digging her face into hers. “...Huh?” (Y/n) mumbled.

‘Dot’ jumped off of her and smiled widely. “Sorry about Ralph by the way. I figured out you were coming at the last second and I really needed someone for your welcoming gift.” she said.

(Y/n) glanced up at the sky where the fireworks were slowly dying down. “Um...Is he gonna be okay?” she asked.  

“Of course he will!” her backpack said.

The teen screamed and threw her bag on the ground. A hand popped out and unzipped it with impossible ease, then a taller boy version of Dot jumped out, pulling up his long brown pants and flashing a grin. 

“H-...H-H-How did you…?!” (Y/n) stuttered, pointing at him. 

“What? Never heard of cartoon logic?” he said, approaching her. “And Ralph’ll be fine. His skull’s so thick, concrete’s the last thing that can kill him.”

“What-?”

“Anyhow,” he walked over to Dot and put an arm over her shoulder, “The name’s Yakko, this here’s my beloved baby sister Dot, and this is-” He stopped, staring at the empty space to his left. He leaned into Dot, whispering, “Say, uh, you don't mind looking for Wakko, do ya sis?”

Dot glanced at (Y/n) for an uncomfortable moment and suddenly shot her brother a glare. "I've got eyes all over this studio, Yakko," she warned, slowly stepping away.

Now (Y/n) certainly knew she didn't see pairs of eyes appear around every inch of her sight. 'Oh god, I didn't breath in drugs on the way here, did I? Actually, that would explain whatever the heck's going on.'

Yakko smiled as he watched his sister leave and turned to (Y/n). He walked closer to her, and she realized that his half-lidded eyes had a strange glint in them. “Sooo, your name’s (Y/n), right? A pretty name for a pretty girl.”

(Y/n)’s face heated up. ‘First I get lost, then see a guy get blown up, and now some other guy’s flirting with me? ...To be honest, this is still better than what Mom had planned for today.’

“So what brings ya’ here?” he asked.

“O-Oh, well, my Mom was supposed to give me a tour of the studio, but I’ve been giving that to myself all day. I tried finding her, but I’m pretty sure I’m nowhere near it by now.” Her eyes wandered over to the ground, but a realization made them perk back up and over to Yakko. “Hey, do you happen to know this place by any chance?”

“Know it? Please, my sibs and I live here, we know this place by heart and soul!” He mumbled something else, along the lines of “Basically made our hearts and souls”. 

Her heart jumped; finally, a piece of good news. “Really?” she said, a smile spreading across her face.

He nodded. “So where do ya’ need to go?” Before she could answer, he pulled out a piece of folded paper and moved in so close, their shoulders were smooshed together. Yakko unfolded it, and it turned out to be the biggest map (Y/n) has ever seen. “Well, from here, you’re gonna need to take a right and continue straight until you get to the Harry Potter and Fantastic Beasts exhibit. But be careful, I heard some of them escaped, and if anyone asks if you’ve seen any of them, don’t tell them I gave one to Dot as a late birthday gift. Anyway, you take a left from there, then a right where you’ll see the lot where they used to shoot Game of Thrones. Now this is only a rumour I’ve heard, but I think some of the producers are still on that set. If you happen to see them, do not, I repeat, DO NOT mention season eight, or maybe just don’t mention the show at all. Actually, don’t even look at them. As a matter of fact, you probably shouldn’t even go there at all, just keep heading straight until you get to the D.C. Universe lot. Then you just take left there, then a sharp right over over, then you keep going straight until you get to here, turn up over there, turn right there, and then you’re there. Did ya’ follow all that?”

(Y/n) stared at his face, which was practically radiating with enthusiasm, and she felt her eye twitch again. “...No,” she said, shaking her head.

His smile dimmed, but it became just as bright as the sun again a split-second later. “Ah well, maps are gettin' old anyways,” he said, throwing the map over his shoulder. “WAKKO!!”

And, low and behold, another anthropomorphic dog popped out of nowhere, and (Y/n) was starting to question if there was an army of them hidden somewhere. But she had to admit, it was pretty cute how this one was dressed in an oversized blue sweater and red hat. 

“Tablet, please,” Yakko said politely, holding out his hand. 

‘You're not gonna walk me there-?'

Wakko suddenly held his head back with his cheeks puffed out, then leaned into Yakko’s hand as he forced out a small object from his mouth. After an incredibly uneasy moment, a tablet glazed in spit was in Yakko's grasp. While he praised the little guy, (Y/n) forced back the urge to vomit.

“E-Ehhhh…?” She couldn’t say anything else while her gaze frantically went back and forth from Wakko and the regurgitated tablet. 

“Oh! Where are my manners?” Yakko said. “(Y/n), this is my dear little brother, Wakko. Wakko, this here’s our new special friend, (Y/n).” 

“Hello!” Wakko greeted, who was suddenly in her arms. “You’re really pretty!”

“Ehh? Thank you? I guess??” she said apprehensively, and finally managed to make eye contact. Despite his...quirks, he's actually a little adorable... She let herself grin a little.

The moment of semi-peace was ruined when she took notice of Yakko’s narrowed eyes. “ALrighty, (Y/n)!” he said loudly, grabbing his little brother by the collar and gently setting him on the ground. “Animal Kingdom, right? Let’s get ya’ right over there.” He moved right beside her and taped the screen a couple times. 

“Um, what’re you doing exactly?” she asked.

“Doing what every person does to get somewhere nowadays.” He grabbed her waist and pulled her against him, and (Y/n) flinched from his touch. “Please keep your arms, legs, and personal items inside the tablet at all times.”

Just when she was about to question him for the hundredth time, he pressed the screen again, and her vision became nothing but white. Her body felt like it was launched into a tornado; a strong force of wind thrusted her back, and somehow, the boy’s arm kept her from flying off from his side. A second later, her feet were back on the ground, the sky was where it needed to be, and reality was back in place. 

Except for (Y/n)’s mentality. 

She stumbled around, trying to find her balance as the world unbearably whirled around her. Finally, she shook her head, and quickly turned back towards Yakko, whose face tried to tell her whatever happened was perfectly fine and normal. 

“What was THAT?” she yelled, staggering towards him and gripping his shoulders.

And he still had the audacity to have that 'why-are-you-freaking-out-so-much-we-do-this-every-Friday' smile. “Thank you for attending Warner’s Travel Tours! I would say my Agent Ralph’ll take your bags, but I left him alone with my sibs, so he’s probably in the middle of the Pacific Ocean by now.”

(Y/n) could only stare at him. Her mind was twisting and turning, trying so hard to make any sense of what happened but only making her headache grow larger and larger. And then, her thoughts just went blank.

She smirked. Then giggled. And a few seconds later, she had burst out laughing whilst holding her stomach. (Y/n) looked back up at Yakko, wiping a tear from her eye. “Th-Thank you…” she said, catching her breath. 

His smile had grown and she thought his white cheeks were red for a moment. Yakko had opened his mouth, but whatever he was about to say was cut off by a net suddenly covering his entire body. Ralph was behind him, his skin and clothes burnt and ears practically smoking. “You’re coming with me, Warner!” he said.

And yet, Yakko only grinned. Like physics was his enemy, he disappeared from inside the net and appeared sprouting from the security guard’s back, cheerfully waving at (Y/n). “I’ll see ya’ around, yeah?” he said, then ran around the corner with Ralph sprinting right after him.

(Y/n) giggled and reached for the straps around her back. But when she only felt the (f/c) fabric of her shirt, her smile dropped, and a deep sigh escaped her lips. “Great…” she whispered.

“(Y/N)!” 

She gasped as a pair of arms squeezed the life out of her. Her mother spun her around to face her gleaming smile, which was immediately replaced by an apologetic frown. “I’m so sorry I didn’t get your texts! That scene took forever, but I’m glad you found your way here! You’re so smart! Anyway, I know we don’t get as much time now, but there’s still so much we’ll be able to see!...”

She rambled on and on and on and on. Her daughter’s shoulders slumped and she followed her to where she wanted her to go, but the frown on her face didn’t last long when she remembered the fun she had just a few seconds ago. ‘Maybe this summer won’t be that bad.’

[heresathreebee]

Brackish And Briny Waters (three)

[Ralph Lamont X Female Reader]

Summary: Spend the weekend painting the house with your husband. Previous Masterlist Next

Tags: 17+ | 1.6k words | Painting a house together, aka domestic stuff, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex, pulling out, vague mention of rats.

AN: part 4 is gonna get angsty I just finished it

Anything involving greens was a heavy battle between you two, as Ralph seemed to have some kind of vendetta against them. The more blue you got, the less you fought and you eventually settled on a cool tone to use for the laundry room with a compromise to paint floral accents in a forest green tone along the edges of the back wall. You did find an exact replica of one of the original wallpapers in your second bedroom which you wanted to move to the living room. 

Colors selected and purchased, you went home starving and managed to scrape together some left overs with a side of rice to fuel you to start on the real work. You also bought brown paper to cover the solar room window holes until you can finish that room as its own project. 

Ralph rolls up his sleeves and puts on his bleach stained lounge pants to help. You lay down tarp and use up 3 rolls of tape to cover the kitchen and the dining room. Every window and door is wide open as you set your record player to play some 'whistle while you work' type of albums. And whistle he does that husband of yours, enjoying your company and shaking his hips dramatically to make you laugh. You two haven't had this much fun in so long it feels like. 

The summer citrus color you chose for the kitchen was really working for you. Ralph intended to put the wallpaper up in the other room to get 'double the work done' but still you find him working the same wall just to be close to you. You talk about missing that classic NYC pizza and dinner tomorrow and Ralph promises to ask his colleagues about any music shops in the area. 

You take a nap on the porch swing to get away from the paint fumes, an iced tea almost slipping from your hand. When dinner time comes, you cook while he details the removal of the old wallpaper from the dining room to work tomorrow. He's rambling about using a third coat on the living room paint and you don't think it's necessary but you know he'll agree with you come morning. 

"Come eat Ralph Vincent," you scold him for getting paint on the door frame but all is forgiven when he sweeps you into a hungry kiss. 

"I'd rather eat you right now." 

Ralph's flirtations are interrupted by his own ractious growling stomach and you laugh at him as you shove a plate into his hand. You eat together by the window in the living room. While it hasn't been painted yet, you have moved the furniture to the middle of the room and the fumes from the kitchen and dining room are still very strong. You hope it doesn't affect your sleep tonight (or hope it puts you down like a dose of melatonin). 

"Floyd's got a boat," Ralph tells you. "Says he takes it out on the water almost every day. Asked if I wanted to join him." 

"And are you?" You spin another forkful of angel hair spaghetti on your plate. 

Ralph slurps his like a child. "Am I what." 

"Are you going to join him on his boat?" You speak slowly and patronizingly. Ralph pinches your breast and almost makes you drop your plate. "No. I hate boats. I hate water. I don't want to be trapped for hours out there listening to him talk about paintings and philosophers, at least at work I can walk away." 

You chuckle. "I think Floyd sounds very interesting. What do you have against him?" 

"Nothing," he protests, "he talks too much. He's loquacious– that's what Justine calls him, and she's one to talk. If you must know, he's actually my favorite– he knows when to keep his nose out of my business." 

Dishes are made slightly more difficult with Ralph hanging off your shoulders. He peppers kisses up and down your neck, even finds a hickey from the morning that's started to fade and he remarks you. You dig your dripping fingers into his hair when he finds that spot on your neck and gives it some much needed attention. 

"Ralphie, baby, please," you whisper, "I could use your help with these." 

Dishes are done in record time and suddenly you're being whisked away to your bedroom (not that you were complaining). This room has the wallpaper that you had no intention to change aside from a fresh upgrade. Ralph takes your hand to spin you around and back you into your shared room all the way to the edge of the bed. Along the way he plants kisses from your hairline to your collarbone before he lets you fall atop the thick quilted bedspread. 

He gazes at you with a warm expression. The soft "my girl" he whisperes makes your heart swell. 

You expect him to pick up your legs and pull you by your knees to the outside of his hips (want him to even), but Ralph has other ideas it seems. It's not until his head is between your legs that you realize what he's up to (or rather down to). You gasp a lung full of air and grab him by the hair of his head. 

"Jesus," you sigh. 

Your husband's rumbling laughter causes your thighs to twitch. "Say my name, I'm the one doing all the work." 

"Yeah but you love– aha!" His beard brushes your inner thighs and leaves a delightful burning sensation in the deepest part of your soul. "Fuck…" 

You pull his hair harder and feel the soft locks stretch in your bloodless grasp. You can feel that immortal coil wind tighter and tighter inside you as Ralph devours you. You start chanting his name, the pitch of your voice beginning to crescendo the closer you get to that fire cracker ending. Ralph doubles his efforts, eager to have you fall apart on his tongue and fingers. 

He's more than making it up to you tonight. 

When you come, your body curls in on itself and your thighs lock around his head, effectively deafening him. You have no idea if he can hear the scream that rips from your body but you can't either as your eyes rolls back in ecstasy. 

You relax onto the bed and feel it dip with an additional weight to your side. You slide into Ralph's easy embrace, his dry hand coming up to hold you to him and just rest for a bit. 

"Fuck," you say huskily, "you're really good at that…" 

Ralph kisses you in answer, trying to deepen the connection but you have to twist away to catch your breath. Instead he plants lingering, sweet kisses on your neck, your cheek, your hair. His hand caresses your back in circles until you're nearly asleep from the motion. 

You flinch when you feel his nose brush against yours. "Baby… don't fall asleep." He sounds so sweet until his voice darkens and he says, "I'm not done with you yet." 

You lose track of time and all you can feel is Ralph Lamont. You're both covered in a sheen of sweat and his hips rock leisurely into yours. You don't know who grabbed who but your hands are tangled together and refuse to let go. Ralph's breath dusts over your neck, cool in contrast to the fire of his physical form pressed against you. You want to come again but you let him draw it out, let him love you tonight. 

"Ralph." You whisper in his ear, begging with no pressure to change pace. You're happy if he's happy and he is very content to keep thrusting into you to his peak and slow down, never stopping but always making you want more. Your man kisses you flush on the mouth and adjusts his position. His thrusts change. They grow from hypotonic and shallow to a little hard and more purposeful. You moan at the feeling, your legs locking around his hips to draw him deeper despite your exhaustion. 

Your orgasm washes over you nice and gentle, nothing like the force of the first time. You're conscious enough to lock your ankles around Ralph's hips, but it still doesn't prevent him from slipping his flushed and reddened cock out and finishing on your stomach as he always intended. You feel a strange tickle of disappointment as you come down from your high but push it to the back of your mind for later. 

Some way, somehow, Ralph still has enough strength to clean you both up and tuck you into bed. He curls around your body despite the near unbearable heat and falls fast asleep, his soft snores right behind your ear lulling you under the tide of sleep. 

DAY FOUR

"Morning." 

Your Saturday is awash of more painting and moving furniture with Ralph. He made coffee and eggs and brought it to you in bed, then dragged you down to look at the frayed wires on the clothes dryer machine. 

"Might be rodents," you muse. "I'll get some traps on Monday and find my soldering iron." 

"We'll get traps tonight," your husband countered, scratching his chin, "the sooner the better." 

You finish removing the old wallpaper in the living room and carefully put up the new one with little fuss. The kitchen still smells of paint but it's dry (it had better be, you left the windows open all night and it's freezing in here) so you put the kitchen utensils and appliances back and remove the protective tape and brown paper. Ralph is proud of the precision work done in the corners and edges, patting himself on the back and yours. 

"We did good babe," he said, "by this time next week, we'll have the whole house done!" 

You laugh at his optimism. There were still cobwebs to dust, cracks to spackle, floors to polish, windows to replace. This was the very reason he picked this place… 

To keep you busy. To keep your mind from wandering to those dark places that linger in your past. 

At least it was working.

Tagging people who might like to know: @werwulfy @hoodoo12 @escape-your-grape @go-commander-kim @fundamentally-lazy @mimiscappinisideblog do y'all wanna be here? If not lemme know please 😅 DM me

[norminahs-child]

Little Monster (Norminah Adoption Story)

Draft from my Wattpad😅

Dinah giggles, "I'm not. I'm just wondering how I got so lucky to have you." She says, wrapping her arms around Normani's waist and pulling her closer before cuddling into her side. Normani looks at Dinah, "I beg to differ. If anything, I'm the lucky one. You're so amazing..." She mumbles before placing a soft peck on Dinah's lips. Pretty soon, the door busts open, "WAKE UP! ALLY MADE BREAKFAST!" Camila shouts loudly. Normani smile slightly while shaking her head, "We'll be down in a bit, Camila." She says. Camila groans, "Really, Mani?! I told you to call me Mila! When you say my name, it sounds so... Proper." She says with a shudder making Dinah snicker slightly.

Normani sits up with Dinah still holding onto her and tilts her head, "Is that a bad thing?" She asks. Camila shakes her head, "Nope. Just weird." She says. Normani feigned hurt, "Good to know, Mila." She says. Dinah laughs, "We'll be down, Chancho. Tell Ally to make our plates." She says. Camila sends a thumbs up before walking out and closing the door.

Normani shakes her head and stands up, "I don't understand how you deal with her. She's a very nice girl... But, how do you deal with her?" She asks, trying not to sound rude. Dinah laughs, "Baby, chill. She's my best friend. Yeah, she's a little unbearable, but I wouldn't trade her for no one else. Plus, you know she looks up to you." She says, subtly admiring the dark skin beauty that was in nothing but her (Dinah's) shirt, which was a little big on her, and her undergarments.

Normani looks back at Dinah, "I don't understand why. We're about the same height." She says. Dinah rolls her hazel like gold eyes, "You know what I mean, princess." She says, jokingly using the nickname Normani hated. Normani shakes her head, "Still, Dinah Jane. I don't understand. She's a bit of a mystery for a girl so... Bubbly." She says, unsure of what word to use. Dinah slowly stands up and walks to their shared closet, "That she is. We've been best friends since we were little supernaturals and she's still a mystery to me." She says from the closet.

Normani hums, "Interesting..." She mumbles before walking to where Dinah is and wrapping her arms around the taller woman's waist, placing her chin on her shoulder, "Are you going to let me braid your hair again?" Normani asks making Dinah freeze and look back at her, "This is not up for debate, is it?" She asks. Normani shakes her head making Dinah curse under her breath.

After the duo got dressed, they made their way downstairs. Lauren was knocked out with her head on the table, "You didn't get enough sleep, Ralph?" Dinah asks softly. The older female shakes her head sleepily. Being the affectionate person she was, Dinah gently kisses Lauren's head making her sigh softly. Normani smiles softly, "After breakfast, I'm doing your hair." She says making Dinah groan. Camila snickers, "I swear to go-" Ally glares at Camila from the kitchen, "Bananas! I swear when you do Dinah's hair, it sounds like you two are having sex. Like, does getting your hair done hurt that bad?!" She asks. Dinah turns red, "Yea, it does!" She defends. Normani shrugs, "She's way louder when we're having sex." She says making Lauren groan, "Too much information, Manz!" She exclaims as Dinah looked away with a deep red blush. Ally raises an eyebrow, "I guess that sound proof spell and the lock spell came in handy, huh?" She asks, walking out of the kitchen with plates floating above her head.

Ally had on a sports bra and cargo pants. Dinah just buries her face in her hand with a groan, "Can we not?" She asks. Camila just tries to reach for her plate with a pout as Ally kept moving it from her, "Anyways, eat up, children." Ally says while putting their plates down. Dinah and Camila squealed befoee digging in. Normani smiles softly, "Thank you, Allyson." She says greatfully. Ally returns the smile, "No problem, Normani." She responds before sitting down herself.

After the group of five finished eating, Lauren, Ally, and Camila had to endure an hour and a half of Dinah screaming and crying because her head hurts, "DAMN IT, DINAH! IT DOES NOT HURT THAT BAD, BE QUIET!" Normani snaps. Dinah glares up at Normani through tearfilled eyes, "YES IT DOES, ASSHOLE! YOU KNOW I'M SENSITIVE!" She shouts back. They continued shouting at each other as the other three laughed loudly at the duo. It was unusual to see Normani shouting or showing any type of emotion, so they were enjoying it.

After Normani was done with Dinah's hair, Dinah held a mean ass glare towards the neutral shorter girl. Normani stands up and walks over to the obviously butt hurt Dinah, grips her by her neck and places a soft, passionate kiss on her lips. Just like that, all Dinah's anger and pain disappeared in an instant. Dinah didn't know if it was because of Normani's powers or Dinah's overwhelming love for her to stay mad. Normani broke away from the kiss, "Feel a little better?" She asks, her eyes glowing red. Dinah's eyes glowed gold, "Y-Yes..." She says.

Ally awwed while Lauren and Camila gagged, "Anyway, Cheechee, you're hair looks amazing!" Camila exclaims,

Lauren nods, "Yeah! Braids look good on you girl!" She says. Normani smiles softly, "Call me a miracle worker because I swear on everything evil, I was about to hurt Dinah." She growls playfully making everyone laugh. Dinah leans her head on Normani's shoulder, "Um, Normani." Dinah says. Normani got an instant red flag. Dinah doesn't really call her by her first name unless something was wrong or if she needed to get something off of her chest.

Normani kisses her forehead, "What's wrong, my love?" She asks. Dinah stands up and gently drags her by the stairs leading to the second floor. Dinah sits down on the second step with a nervous look. Normani started to get a little worried. Dinah's whole aura was a blueish color which meant she was scared. Dinah's normal aura was white, "What's wrong?" Normani asks while sitting down beside her wife of 3 years.

Dinah nervously looks around, "Baby I... I love you, and you know this..." She starts making Normani sweat slightly, Oh god, is she trying to divorce me? Was all that ran through Normani's head. As if Dinah read her thoughts, she reaches over and squeezes Normani's hand, giving her a sweet kiss, "It's nothing bad, Mani. I promise." Dinah reassures, easing Normani's nerves slightly. Dinah lets out a shaky sigh, "Mani, I want a child." She says making Normani's eyes widen, "Um, DJ... Do you not know that we are both women?" She asks, clearly stating the obvious.

Dinah lets out a breathy chuckle, "I know, Mani... I want to adopt. I want to adopt with you. I want us to have a family, Normani. Yeah, Camila, Lauren, and Ally are our family, but I want a daughter." She says. Normani was unsure. It's not like she didn't want to expand her family with Dinah, she just wasn't sure about a kid, "I-I don't know, Dinah." Normani says, almost instantly regreting what she said as she saw the heartbreak in Dinah's eyes, "Wh-Why, Normani? D-Do you n-not want a f-family with me?" She stutters out, her voice cracking badly.

Normani shakes her head, "That's not it... It's just I... I don't know, what if I'm not a good mom? What if I turn out like my parents?" She asks. Dinah cups Normani's cheek, "Look at me... You won't turn out like your parents. They left you, they abused you. You're nothing like them. You'll be an amazing mom... We'll be amazing moms with Lauren, Camila, and Ally being amazing aunties. Give it a chance, baby..." Dinah begs. Normani stares into Dinah's hazel eyes, "I... Okay. I'll give it a try..." She says softly making Dinah smile.

End Chapter~

[mazegirl168]

Basically "the vote" for president is really fucking overloaded. Many (rightfully and not so rightfully) push it as the be-all end-all to everything in U.S. politics (and by extension everyone the U.S. fucks over).

And it partially is. The person in the center is the face of the government for those four years (plus or minus impeachment / death). People do feel empowered seeing a like minded person in that office, whether it's an "ideal" candidate or a trash candidate. We definitely saw white supremacists feel more okay expressing themselves 2017-2020.

But of course we're stuck in the fucking political binary. Everything has to come down to red vs blue for many different reasons. The fact you can only vote for one candidate is so fucked up (we need ranked choice voting), and there's of course efforts to try to keep people from changing the status quo. When's the last time you considered a third party vote? Maybe in 2016 you considered Gary Johnson (Libertarian) or Jill Stein (Green Party). Then you heard Kang's voice reminding you voting third party is throwing away your vote.

The other day I had wandered onto Wikipedia's article for Ralph Nader wondering what the hell he was up to these days. A decent chunk of the article is just about how he "spoiled" the 2000 election, taking away votes from Gore, and similar concerns for the 2004 election. For context, Nader received 97,421 votes in 2000 and 463,655 votes in 2004. The latter would likely not have changed things (Bush won by 3 million votes, and it would take electoral college fuckery for Nader votes to help Kerry win), but the 2000 election was a good bit closer (Gore led the popular vote by 543,895). Anyway, the popular legacy of Nader these days is the guy who got us George W. Bush as president twice.

So we are most likely stuck with the fucking binary choice of red vs blue, with alternatives not being viable (and labeled as throwing it away / enabling whoever does win).

It is however still January 31, and the election will be on November 5, 279 days later. There is a chance we could see a good third party candidate become viable. I would fucking love this. Upset the fucking status quo. But I don't know shit about how to make that happen and/or who would work. My best guess is that it would come from a combination of promoting third parties in lower level offices (city, state, etc) and pushing hard for ranked choice voting (so that the Nader votes could still have counted for Gore). Realistically it'll be a long process to get a third party president, happening after we get more left people in Congress putting pressure on the Democrats to compromise with the left.

As for the 2024 presidential election, at the moment I'll probably grit my teeth and vote for that genocidal fucker Biden over that genocidal fucker Trump, because at the current rate we'll still be stuck in the stupid fucking political binary, and Biden, while being a genocidal fuck, at least can resist starting nuclear war when someone says he has a small penis. Even if the value of my vote is smaller than Trump's needle thin dick, it still has an effect on everyone's future.

UNTIL THEN, AND EVEN AFTER, we should absolutely be putting pressure on Biden and the rest of the Democratic party. The other day there was a thing about him getting booed in my hometown and allegedly he looked worried. KEEP IT UP. Do not let any of these fuckers forget what they are enabling. BOIL THEM. Let them never forget what they did.

Also a quick thing I want to bring up was the aftermath of the 2016 election. A whole lotta democrats were quickly ready to blame "identity politics" for losing the 2016 election, saying they shouldn't have focused on including queer people. They won't give a shit if we vote otherwise, they'll just find their own reason for why they lost and blame it on a scapegoat.

That said, if you're still really hellbent on not voting in the binary, then I think we need a consensus on a third party candidate to vote for. If you just don't vote or vote randomly, it'll get labeled in the history books as "voted other" or "didn't vote". If however everyone picked the same someone, it would be a clearer message of dissatisfaction. For this I'd like to initially propose "Weird" Al Yankovic 'cause he's a cool dude. Probably won't be the final choice (assuming such unification happens), but just throwing him out there as an out-of-the-box starting point.

As mentioned before, there are still 279 days. Things can still change. My vote is not definitive, I'm open to seeing how things develop while still doing what I can to push for a better future. Hell, maybe Kang and Kodos will actually show up and we actually do unify around a third party.

TL;DR We're stuck in a 2 party system, but don't vote quietly, vote for positions other than president, and do anything you can outside of election day to make things better.

the other frustrating thing to me about the "we need Biden to lose to make the Democrats move left" argument is that you could make the exact same argument for why Hillary losing was a good thing, a d yet Biden is clearly not any better on Israel or immigration than she was. so why didn't it work that time, and why would it work this time?

to steelman: Hillary didn't lose because of an organized attempt by leftwing voters so there's no signal there. if you had a large number of voters vote for a third party (the ceasefire party or something similar) you could send a much clearer signal about how and why Biden lost the election.

of course, this runs into another issue - you need to be able to convince people that 1. those voters would have actually voted for Biden if he supported a ceasefire (and leftwing youth are not, uh, a reliable voting bloc in the best of times) and 2. that they outnumber the group that voted for Biden that would not have voted for him if he didn't support Israel, or would have supported Trump (which makes them count x2 for this kind of thing). and i think those two things combined doom the initiative

[wheels-of-despair]

Worth It | Ralph Penbury x You | Masterlist

{<-Previous} [Seven Dreadful Days] {Next->}

Summary: Ralph has to go away for a few days, and neither of you are sure you'll survive your time apart. Words: 1.6k

Ralph liked Mondays, because on Mondays, he got to reunite with the love of his life after two long days apart. And after several days of being sick and bed-bound, he was even more eager to resume regular meetings in the park. Desperate to get out of his room, he bathed and dressed early, then headed down for breakfast.

He was nibbling on a piece of fruit and listening to Victoria ramble about a party he'd missed that weekend when Langley came in with a tray of mail. Victoria went through each piece, tossing them aside when they appeared uninteresting, until she found one that caught her eye. She ripped into it with a letter opener.

"Oh, Cousin Madge is getting married! Who would marry that fat cow? This must be a mistake. Surely Uncle Hal sees that this suitor is only after the family fortune!" She looked at Ralph expectantly, waiting for him to echo her sentiments, but he merely shrugged. Turning back to the invitation, she continued relaying its contents. "The wedding is to be held on Saturday… well they haven't given us much notice! I wonder if she's already pregnant? Not that anyone would be able to tell!"

Ralph sits silently, remembering that he'll need to return to his room to fetch your book of fairy tales before meeting you in the park today. He'd finished the whole thing, even re-read the ones you read to him, and was eager to discuss his favorites.

"Ralph!" Victoria snaps. "Are you listening? I said we'll leave tonight, and come back on Monday. It says they'll have a hundred guests and numerous activities, all week long!"

"Tonight?" Ralph asks.

"Yes, Ralph!" She points at the postmark on the tattered envelope. "It was mailed weeks ago, it must've gotten lost. I'm so glad it found us in time, this shall be great fun!"

Ralph somehow doubted that.

"I have some news…" Ralph began hesitantly. You untangled yourself from him, sitting back to pay attention. It had been a warm reunion, as all Mondays were, but you were both exceptionally happy to be back on your bench where you belonged. Not that you'd minded cuddling with him in his bed, although you hoped next time, it wouldn't be because he was sick.

"I have to go away for a while," he said, looking at you apologetically. You tried not to show your devastation over losing him for even a single day. "Victoria and I have to travel north for a cousin's wedding."

"How long will you be gone?"

"Seven days."

"Seven days," you repeat, heart already feeling heavier.

"We leave tonight."

"Tonight?" you ask breathlessly.

"The invitation got lost in the mail, it wasn't delivered until today. I don't particularly want to go, but it's expected of me. I'd much rather stay here with you," he explains quickly. You nod in understanding.

You hadn't spent more than two days apart from him since Valentine's Day. How are you supposed to cope with seven Ralphless days? He holds your hands in his, and leans his forehead against yours.

"Do you remember, when I was sick, you said that one day you'd never have to leave me again?"

"Yes," you whisper, willing the tears in your eyes to not spill over.

"It's all I can think about," he whispers back. "Perhaps when I return… we'll finally tell everyone? If I survive this week, I'll never want to spend a single day away from you ever again."

You pull back and stare into his big brown eyes, genuine and full of love. Unable to find words, you nod. His face breaks into a grin and he pulls you closer. You quite liked the thought of never having to say goodbye to your Ralph ever again.

Victoria was having the time of her life. She'd spent most of her time at the wedding with her tongue down a man's throat. A man who was probably a distant cousin, but if Victoria didn't care enough to find out, Ralph didn't either. He wanted to go home. Someone was waiting for him. Someone who would be happy to see him again. Someone who loved him. He smiled. Ralph smiled a lot these days.

While the other wedding guests played croquet and gossiped over tea and whatever else guests do at a week-long wedding, Ralph sat by himself and thought about you. What were you doing now? What were you reading? Had those mysterious flowers near your bench bloomed yet? Had you identified them? Did you miss him? He happily allowed these thoughts to consume his every waking moment, and was even happier when you appeared in his dreams as well.

He knew there was no sense in sending you letters, because he'd be back home before they arrived - and what if they were intercepted by your mother? - but he wrote them anyway. He found that when he appeared to be busy writing, people left him alone with his thoughts. He poured out his heart into pages that seemingly filled themselves. He'd give them to you when he returned.

The day before the wedding, a servant approached him.

"Sir?" Ralph looked up with a glare, wondering who would dare disturb his letter-writing.

"I have a letter for you, sir." Ralph accepted the envelope with confusion… and then his heart nearly burst.

You'd written him. He'd only been gone a few days, and you'd written to him. He ripped into the envelope and pulled out several pages covered in your handwriting. He caught a whiff of your perfume on the paper. He wasn't sure whether to read them or hug them, but opted for holding them close while reading them.

My Dearest Ralph,

I started writing this letter as soon as I walked in and sat down, and plan to mail it first thing in the morning, in hopes that it finds you in time.

I know we've only just parted, but I didn't want you to think I'd forgotten about you. I promised to pine, and pine I shall. As soon as I finish writing this letter. For now, I am happy and filled with thoughts of being with you again.

My life has taken quite a turn since that fateful Valentine's Day dance I didn't even want to attend. I never thought I'd feel this way about another person, let alone one who'd been right under my nose for so long. I lie awake at night and wonder, if we had talked sooner, would we be married by now? Would I be there with you, instead of alone in my childhood bedroom?

I have felt more happiness during these last few weeks with you, than in all my life before. You are my first thought upon waking, and the last thing on my mind before drifting off to sleep. I eagerly await a time in which you will be there, beside me, always.

You are the most wonderful person I've ever known. (And the most handsome!) You are sweet, you are kind, you are funny and clever and generous. I have never experienced a dull moment with you. I don't think such a thing exists. You are such a force of life, just being near you may be enough to sustain me. Never change, Ralph, and never listen to anyone who says you're anything short of perfect. They are wrong. (Especially Victoria. Please refer to this letter if she says anything mean to you while you're away.)

Now that I know your love, I don't know how I'm going to live without you, even for seven dreadful days. I fear this time apart will break me. Should I perish, know that I loved you more than life itself, and that I demand that you mourn me for at least one full year before moving on. If you move on too quickly, I shall haunt you forever.

I've decided to continue going to the park each day, though it won't be the same without you. Word of your sudden departure has spread, and I fear Mother and Father may connect the dots if my dear Mary happened to disappear the same week you did. No, I shall go, and sit on our bench alone, and spend my afternoons writing to you. I won't bother sending more, as they probably won't reach you in time, but I'll give them to you when you get home. An official record of my pining. I take my promises very seriously, Mr. Penbury.

I came up with a plan for Operation Ruin My Mother's Life over the weekend - and it's quite a good one, if I do say so myself - but didn't want to waste our last day together talking about that. I seem to recall my lips being otherwise occupied anyway.

I'll check the train schedule this week, and will be at the station to greet you when you arrive. The thought of delaying our reunion by even a minute makes me want to throw myself down the stairs. I'll be there waiting, but I warn you: It is quite possible that once I get my arms around you again, I'll never let you go.

I shall continue missing you terribly, until you're back with me where you belong. Then we'll break the news, and never be forced to suffer like this again. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

All my love,

A lipstick mark was left instead of a signature. Ralph lifted the page to his lips and kissed it back, imagining you were here with him. No one had ever said such nice things to him before. And you were writing to him every day as well, just like he was for you! He had half a mind to hire a car to take him home immediately.

But he stayed. It was only three more days. And then, you'd never have to be apart for that long ever again.

[sophhhiiiaaa-blog]

Mommy and B

I guess I should introduce myself formally... Im Sophie, but you can call me " mommy, mum, or mom" and I'll probably answer to that faster than my birth name.  I got pregnant when I was just graduating high school (a private school btw). At 18 I couldn't figure out how I was going to be able to handle a baby when I was a baby myself. When I told Brycins' father that I was pregnant, he instantly wanted an abortion or to look into adoption, I ruined his life by getting pregnant. I was alone, pregnant, and terrified. I moved in with a friend because I was living in foster care and I knew they wouldn't approve of what was going on right under their noses. Brycins' sperm donor (sorry that was rude, we'll call him the co-creator from now on) ended up getting in some trouble with the law and ended up in jail for my entire pregnancy (how convenient right?). So, while he is incarcerated of course we're exchanging letters talking about how he is going to get out and we're going to be this big happy family right?!?!? September 25th 2011, Brycin Rylee was born after a long labor. Weighing in at 7lbs 12oz 19.5in and born at 3:27pm. He was (and still is) the most perfect thing I have ever seen. You know how they say you dont know true love until you have kids? Its true. So, Brycin and I are living our lives waiting for co-creator to be released and doing our thing.. finallyyyyyyyyy he gets out and leaves us..........lmao......... what the hell. I dont know why I was so naive and dumb to think that he was really going to change. So it was just Brycin and I against the world. He's 5 now!!! We have gone through the lowest of lows, 5 or 6 different moves, 7 or 8 different jobs.. a few people we thought were going to be in our lives for a long time. We've also gone through the highest of highs, hitting milestones, finding a steady job that mommy loves, a beautiful house that is doing its job while we look for a house to buy and make our forever home, and our most favorite part... Chaddy!!! We met Chad last year. He's a barber at Ralphs' Barber Shop in Hermitage, PA. Its a family ran business (his grandpa owns it) and we started going to him to get B's haircut when we moved up here last year. One day out of no where, after months of me crushing on him but never saying a word, he asked me out to dinner!! I knew on that first date that he was the one for me and things have been nothing but perfect since that day. Im so excited to map out my days with everyone and get to share all of the funny (and bad) things that b does everyday!

[wheels-of-despair]

Worth It: The Honeymoon - Garden

A Worth It Blurb Series | Ralph Penbury x You | Series Masterlist

There weren't many plants inside the Penbury estate.

It was understandable; no one had stayed here in ages. You'd sprung a visit on the limited staff and barely given them a week to prepare for your arrival. They'd brought in a few potted plants to add a bit of life, and placed a few bouquets of cut flowers to tables in areas they knew you'd frequent.

So you and Ralph had to take matters into your own hands.

It had been raining for six days straight, and you desperately needed to break up the dreariness. Even though the house was large and had more rooms than most people would ever dream of, part of the appeal of the country estate was spending time outside, surrounded by nature. And so you and Ralph wandered through and found as many plants as you could, and hauled them all into a small room with cheerful green wallpaper.

You'd lined the walls and the windowsills and moved the chairs out into the hall. After everything was where you wanted it to be, Ralph lit a fire, and the pair of you collapsed onto the floor.

Now, you were both lying on your backs on the plush rug in the center of the room, two exhausted but happy souls holding hands in a sea of green. It was warm, and cozy, and exactly what you needed to combat the dreariness of this rain-soaked week. Your own little indoor garden.

"Should we have a glasshouse, or just a conservatory?"

"Hm?" You'd been trying to count the various types of plants in the room, and had been caught off-guard by Ralph's question.

"When we have a home of our own. Should we have a traditional glasshouse for plants, or a conservatory inside the main house?"

A smile grows on your face.

"Like this, do you?"

"Mhm," he mumbles sleepily.

"Well… I suppose a glasshouse is nice in theory, but on days like this, we'd still have to go outside to get to it."

"Oh," he breathes. "Right."

"But I'll happily nap with you in whatever kind of room you think we need," you smile. He squeezes your hand.

"What else would you like in a home?"

"You," you answer simply. Ralph chuckles.

"Have you thought about it at all?" he asks.

"Not really. A house is a house. A home is wherever we're together."

Ralph turns on his side to face you. He stares, and you wonder if you've out-cheesed yourself with that last comment. Finally, his face breaks into a grin, and he leans forward for a kiss. When he pulls back, he smiles, then returns to lying on his back next to you.

"We'll need a back yard suitable for a garden," he says dreamily, staring at the ceiling. "And a tree that we can put a swing in."

You smile and look upward, trying to see the same things that Ralph is seeing.

"And a library, of course."

"Of course," you agree.

"And we're going to need a lot of bedrooms."

"Oh? Why is that, Mr. Penbury?"

"For all our babies, of course."

"Ah," you say, fighting a smile. "I thought you were going to invite our mothers to come live with us."

Ralph's head slowly turns toward you with a withering glare. You tilt your head toward him and smirk.

"You don't scare me, pup."

He growls, and you look upward and stare at the ceiling. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him slowly creeping closer, like a cat winding up before a pounce. Don't move, don't move…

And then, he attacks.

You squirm and squeal as he nips at your neck, laughing and covering your body with his to hold you down. Once he's got you pinned, he lifts his head with a triumphant smile.

"Tell me I'm scary," he orders with a grin.

"You want me to lie to you?"

His face falls into an adorable pout.

"Awww," you chuckle. "You're the scariest little pup I've ever seen," you say sweetly, lifting your head to kiss the tip of his nose.

He'll take it.

[heresathreebee]

Brackish and Briny Waters (two)

[Ralph Lamont X Female Reader]

Summary: Settling into your new house Part 1 Masterlist Part 3

Tags: +17 | 1.7k words | just really fucking domestic stuff, one (1) bad attitude, presumptuous behavior, unprotected morning sex, more remodeling.

AN: I kind of know where I'm going with this. The conflict will be subtle at first but it's there I promise.

The first day goes by fast and for Ralph meeting every single person on staff in this prestigious school was like trying cheeses and wines in a vineyard– fun at first but you get a stomach ache because somebody forgot to tell you not to swallow and there are just so many of them each more rich than the last. By the time he crosses the threshold to his new home, he's exhausted and annoyed. 

"I told you not to unpack without me." 

You look at him from the kitchen and shrug. "I needed stuff, baby. I already wrote a list of things to work on in this 'bare bones' house you put us up in and I was bored." 

You don't care for his attitude but offer him the covered plate anyways. "I saved you some dinner." 

All at once, Ralphie's anger melted from his face. He shuffled his tired feet across the still empty living room and pulled you into his side. The plate was warm (still warm or recently warmed up, he couldn't tell) and his stomach growled. 

"M sorry," he said, "I don't mean to be an asshole." 

You smile your forgiveness. "Long day?" 

"Yes," he hisses. "I already can't wait for the weekend." 

You chuckle. "Oh come on, it can't be that bad. Give it a chance, baby!" 

"As you wish." 

After eating, Ralph is right to sleep despite his insistence you finish packing together tonight. A part of you thinks it's the climate here– fresh sea salt air and less artificial light to disrupt the body's natural sleep patterns. You took off his shoes and empty his pockets because he was just 'resting his eyes for a moment,' then slid in right next to him. He's fine without a blanket, but you pull the back of the quilt over your rear and curl into his side. Sleep comes easier tonight than last night and you dream of wallpaper and wood smoke cologne. 

DAY THREE

The rest of the week gets easier for the both of you. You arrived on Monday and unpack the bigger furniture together by Wednesday with the help of some locals. Ralph is getting to study the lesson plan for Ms. Lewis' math class and establishing a gentle authority with his temporary students. He is still excited for the weekend, intent to help you figure out what to do with the walls of the house. 

"Has anybody come to see you at the house yet?," he asks you Thursday night. 

You pause dicing onions to think. "Besides the neighbors to the north and those Vayle boys? No." 

Ralphie raises his eyebrows and drops them, an involuntary gesture made more for himself than you. 

You put a hand on your hip. "Why?" 

Ralphie waves you off and continues mixing the meat with the spices. "Nothing. It's just everybody and their fucking moms has been asking me about you." 

"What?" This was news to you. "Why?" 

"Because they're nosy," he replies, "asking me about my whole life story and I let slip I had a wife and then they just wouldn't shut up about it." 

You swat his shoulder. "Well don't sound so depressed about it. Do you not like having a wife?" 

"No!" Ralph huffs and turns to look at you as he says, "I just hate that every single one of them bugs me about a million personal things and then I mention you and it's the only thing they can talk about now." 

Ralph turns back to stirring the pan and grumbles to himself, "might tell them to fuck off and just hoard you forever…" 

It clicks in your head at least a bit. Ralph's a born and bred city kid. In the city nobody cares who you are, what you like, or where you're from. Strangers don't want to be anything more than strangers. Their eternal social motto is 'don't waste my time' and anyone who acts differently is probably scheming something. 

You chuckle and rest your chin on his shoulder. "You're forgetting these are a different breed of people. Rich and educated socialites more over but suburban, maybe even rural. We're probably the first new thing to happen to them in decades, and communities like this don't have a 'mind your business and I'll mind mine' attitude." 

Ralphie flicks you a look but you know he knows you're right. It doesn't mean he has to like it but at least he understands it's not malicious, at least not inherently. It's out of his element, a little out of yours too, but you'll have to adapt and play by their rules if you want to stay here for a while. 

The dining room table can seat six, but your Ralphie takes a seat right next to you at a corner so he can hold your hand while you eat. Homemade tacos ease your apprehensions a bit and you go over the remodeling plans with him until midnight. Getting ready to sleep, you wear your thinnest shift and wrap around him like an octopus, your warm core brushing over his barely clothed manhood in temptation. 

Ralphie hums, tucking a stray hair back into your bonnet. "We need to get up early tomorrow." 

It's a weak protest. The two of you keep rocking into each other and sighing at the feeling of friction but eventually fall asleep despite the delightful buzz of sexual energy surrounding you. You do wake up when Ralph flips you under him and sucks a few marks into your neck.

You spread your legs to accommodate his breadth, feeling him settle deliciously and glancing at the bedside clock. It's barely 5 o' clock and the sun is rising. You gasp as you feel Ralphie's cock slide into you and he's met with little resistance. You two have sex for the first time since you moved and it's been so long that the affair is short lived. 

Ralph already has an apology on his lips but you shush him and come a moment later with your fingers brushing your clit in tandem. He peppers you with a dozen more kisses as silent promises to make it up to you. 

You shower together, barely bumping elbows as this bathroom is way bigger than your New York City apartment ever was. You chat idly about the weekend and the town and when you're ready to leave, you grab the manila folder where you store the plans for the remodel. You've even got samples from the wallpaper, only taking the ones you like and want to replace. 

"I know we probably won't find exact replicas but I want to at least find something similar." 

Ralph squeezes your thigh. "Ok, ok. We'll try." 

While this town doesn't have a McDonald's (the town over does and it's fancy for some reason), it does have a Home Depot (also pretty fancy). You know you'll need wood and screws and glass panes to finish that solar room but that's not the goal for today. 

Ralph skips right over the green paint swatch section to the creams. He's rambling about paint brand pros and cons, he did his research on the way in since you were driving and he brought the book from the school library. You follow and half listen. 

"What?" 

Ralph finally catches on to your soft smile. You glance around to make sure no one is in earshot because god forbid these gossipers over hear your conversation right now. 

"I guess I got you pretty excited last night, huh," you say with a sense of pride. Ralph feels the opposite about his performance this morning. 

"I just… I think it's just been a while." He occupies his hands by grabbing every single free swatch sample on the shelf and says, "I promise I will make it up to you." 

You roll your eyes in a not unkind way. "It's fine, babe, really. I uh… it feels kind of good to know I still have that kind of effect on you…" 

Ralphie sports a smile of his own and puts you under his arm. "Of course you do, sugar." 

He leans down to plant a kiss on your lips when you're interrupted by a bright voice. It's so startling that your husband bounces away from you. He stares wide eyed at the woman who interrupted you and he gets that dark look in his eye that only you can see. 

"Jesus, Julie," he tries his best not to growl her name. "This is Julie, she's a teacher at the school. Julie this… is… my wife." 

Julie makes a noise like a whistle. "Oh my god you are so much more beautiful than I imagined! Ralph doesn't have a picture of you in his office!" 

"It's on my desk," he huffs, "it's the one turned towards me." 

"And why would you do that?" 

"...so I can look at it while I work…?" 

Julie's… a little too hands on for just meeting you. You're too reserved to say something about it so you sling a loose arm around her back and hope Ralph doesn't say something for you. 

"Hi Julie, it's nice to finally meet you," you tell her. "Ralph's been slowly but surely introducing me to the concept of his coworkers." 

"I can't believe we haven't met before now! Ralph keeping you all to himself, me and the other teachers are just so curious about you," she coos. It feels almost put on, like overindulging in sweet to play up her first impression. You let it slide though, maybe it's just your city lens. 

"Well, uh, once we've got the house fixed up a bit, we can plan a housewarming party," you suggest. "But not a day before and you may quote me on that, miss!" 

Julie laughed and gave you her phone number 'in case you need anything at all.' Ralph breathed easy once she finally left and you tug his ear gently. "She's veeerry friendly." 

Ralphie shoots you a glare like you'd made a joke he didn't find funny and you go back to debating the paint to use for your walls eagerly.

@escape-your-grape @hoodoo12 @softbeej @go-commander-kim @beetlesstuff @imma-fucking-nerd​ @werwulfy​

[heresathreebee]

Brackish and Briny Waters (one)

[Ralph Lamont X Female Reader] 

Summary: 1980. Moving to upstate New York. This could be a fresh start that you and your husband have been looking for. Masterlist Next

Tags: +17 | 1000 words | 1980s AU, very vague connections to Ralph's episode in Blue Bloods, allusions to dark past, house remodeling, one (1) boner. 

AN: I watched Things Seen and Heard and said "what if George wasn't a huge fucking piece of shit and also was played by Alex Brightman" so here we are. I thought his Ralph character would fit best in this AU

DAY ONE

Your new home was nothing like the urban jungle you grew up in. On your way upstate, you saw houses stretch further and further apart, green rolling hills, wind farms, and sheep and cows and horses. You even passed by an emu farm or two, sure to point them out to your husband as you switched from long paved highways to old dirt roads. 

"It's kind of on a hill," Ralph tells you, "an old dairy farm with 2 acres of land. It's got lots of trees and space to build add ons and gardens. We could have a gazebo, babe!" 

You laugh at him. You're tempted to build one just to see the look on his face when you take him seriously. If nothing else it will be a good challenge for you. 

This is supposed to be good for you. For the both of you.  

Ralphie's hands are always warm. You can feel the heat of them even through the thick denim of your jeans. His ring is glossier than it was when you looked at it yesterday. 

At some point you must have fallen asleep but when the moving truck jostles you awake you see it– your new home. 

"It isn't much," he always starts," but we can handle a fixer upper, can't we! The bones are good, heating and AC and proper insulation except for the solar room. I think it was an add-on, it's not finished yet." 

Ralphie lets the realtor take you up and down and around the place but he's never farther than an arms length away, sometimes hovering over your shoulder as if to smell your true feelings about this place. You give him a glare at one point and he backs off. You almost regret killing the soft, nervous smile on his face but it helps you breathe better. 

Once it's just the two of you, he chides, "do you like it?" 

You glance around at the walls again. Barren and empty, the wallpaper cracking in places and sun bleached, there are loose tiles in the kitchen and the downstairs bathroom could use a deep scrubbing. It's enough to keep you busy for a year or two. "Yes I like it." 

Ralphie sighs and wraps you up in a hug. You never feel safer than right here, right in the halo of his arms. This place could be just the thing you need to pull yourselves together. 

You barely unpack for the night– Ralph ever the organizer has the bare necessities packed so as to be easy to grab and settle in for the night. The unfinished solar room seems to give the whole house a draft. 

"Damn idiots," Ralph hisses as he tightens the quilts around you, "you think they'd at least cover the open windows." 

"We'll do that tomorrow," you promise, already starting to drift off on his chest. You barely register his soft voice but your brain processes 'we?' soon enough. You rub your cheek on his chest. "Oui, we." 

His chest rumbles and he too drifts off to sleep on the shifty air mattress in the master bedroom. 

The morning can't come soon enough. Or that's what you would say in the city. All that noise, noise, noise. You never realized the world could be so quiet. You can't tell if you love it or you hate it but Ralphie's snoring and the singing bugs at night help to sooth your frazzled nerves. 

The sun rises slowly. It hasn't breached the horizon but the sky is bluer than blue and that means it's time to get up. Your husband is sporting a little morning wood and you're tempted to play with it, but you know if you do he won't make it to work on time and he needs to make a good first impression. 

You content yourself by watching him dress. The way the muscles in his arms flex, his pants slide on with ease. He takes his time buttoning up his shirt paying special attention to each and every one of them. The way he tilts his head back and exposes his throat to tie his tie. He glances at you once and offers a small smile. 

When he's finished, he sits on your side of the bed and kisses your forehead. "I love you. I'll see you tonight." 

You hum and stop yourself from asking him to come home early because you know he will. Ralphie leaves a soft peck in the hollow of your throat and gets up to find his box of work stuff for his new office. He doesn't expect to see you waiting by the door with a thermos of coffee. 

"It's not Starbucks by any means but I hoped it would help," you say sheepishly. 

This time Ralph kisses you firmly on the mouth, one hand taking the hot drink and the other wrapping around your waist to pull you closer. The kiss is so deep you moan into it and you're about to curl fingers in his shirt collar when he finally breaks away. You're both breathless. 

"Thank you, baby." He gives you one more small peck on the lips. "Promise we'll unpack together after work." 

~

"I can't believe you give substitute teachers offices," Ralph said. 

Professor Floyd DeBeers shrugged. "We have no idea when Ms. Lewis will be able to teach again but you have her lesson plan and we want the kids to feel her absence as little as possible." 

"I'm not taking her office, am I?" 

"No, no," Floyd waves, " it's her TA's office. A temporary space, a little small but it should be alright." 

Looking at Floyd's own office which is the size of a public school library where Ralph is from, he's less surprised the TA office appears to be twice the size of a broom closet which is more than he's used to. He plops his stuff on the spare desk and turns to Floyd. 

"I think this will be more than enough." 

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