#we'll see. if he does i'll eat that red hat of yours and shut up for the rest of my life

[rotclaw]

happy new year i got into an argument with someone who actually believes the 'the left are putting kitty litter boxes in school bathrooms' thing

[southpark-sin]

Love & sacrifice: chapter 1

It was cold out in the Colorado mountains but Kenny mccormick was use to it, he stared up at the stars and took a long drag of his cigarette. He wished he could stay out here in the peace and quiet if time allowed but he had already been out here to long as it was. He flicked his cigarette out and ventured back inside the warm house of his best friend.

"Kenny! Kenny, guess what? Tricia said we get to spend the night!" Karen mccormick bounded up to him with a Smile of pure happiness. It broke his heart that Kenny couldnt provide a safe and loving home like his best friend could. He smiled back with what was hopefully a genuine smile.

"That's great Kare bear! Let's go see if the pizzas here." She nodded, still smiling, as she took his hand in hers and led him into the kitchen. The smell of fresh pizza overtook Kenny as they entered the kitchen. His heart skipped a beat when he caught sight of his crush and long time best friend.

Craig tucker was furiously whispering to someone over the phone as he absentmindly put down two pizza boxes on the kitchen counter. Craig's green eyes where narrowed in frustration with his signature scowl and kenny noticed to his delight that his straight raven colored hair wasn't hidden under his signature blue hat tonight. Instead, his hair was messy and unkempt with his bangs falling into his eyes, making him even more attractive. Kenny couldn't help but gawk at how hot craig was as his heart threatened to beat right out of his chest. Craig's eyes met Kenny's and his scowl softened a little and he nodded at Kenny in a way of a greeting. Kenny blushed and smiled back like the helpless fool he was.

Meanwhile, Karen rolled her eyes at her brother's blatant affection for his friend and immediately started eating the pizza happily all the while talking aimlessly about what the plans her and Tricia had for that friday night. Kenny tuned her out and instead raised his eyebrows at Craig in a silent question at the phone conversation craig was having. Craig just stiffly shook his head and rolled his eyes in response. Great. Craig was in a bad mood again and Kenny suspected it had to do with a certain neurotic blonde who loved coffee.

Kenny sighed at the thought, earning a glare from Craig, and tried to push away his jealousy. Avoiding Craig's eyes, Kenny started munching on some pizza without tasting it as he mentally prepared himself for what he knew would be inevitable when Craig was in a bad mood and it involved tweak. His bad moods always involved tweek these days. Kenny hated it with a burning jealousy that threatened to boil over in forbidden words he longed to tell craig but knew he couldn't.

"Hey kare bear, why dont you take some pizza up to Tricia?" Kenny tried to give her a easy going smile despite his stomach twisting in knots. Her eyes lit up at the suggestion and she quickly hugged him, grabbed a pizza box and rushed upstairs to her friends room.

Kenny smile fell as he silently turned back to face Craig, waiting. He knew Craig would talk when he was ready and any prodding from Kenny would only make him shut down and pout. Craig was someone who didnt like to talk about his feelings with anyone until he was good and ready to talk. Kenny suspected that this trait in craig was one of the reasons that craig and tweek seemed to fight so much these days. One of the many reasons they seemed to fight so much.

Craig scowled at him, whispered a rushed goodbye to the other person on the phone and hung up. Craig picked up the other pizza box and stalked to his room without another word. Kenny rolled his eyes and followed. Sometimes Craig was SUCH a drama queen.

Up in Craig's room, Kenny settled on his bed and silently started eating some pizza while the other boy stood pacing around his room, still scowling. He could tell craig was bursting to say somthing but it was obvious he didnt know what to say. After a few minutes of tense silence Kenny began to wonder if Craig was ever going to say somthing. Most of the time craig would talk to Kenny about his feelings and they would work through it together. in rare occasions, however, craig would get so emotional and caught up in his feelings that he wouldn't say anything at all and end up in a bad mood that could last weeks. In those rare occasions was when tweek and craig would fight the most and it left Kenny desperately trying to get through to craig and fix things because that was just what Kenny did. Craig was Kenny's best friend and he would do anything for craig, even it killed him inside.

Without warning, Craig suddenly spun on his heel to face Kenny, fire burning in his eyes.

"He's just so fucking jealous! I keep telling him that I love him and that me having other guy friends isn't a big deal and that I see him every goddam day and we spend so much time together! what more does he fucking want from me?" His face was turning red from the shouting but Kenny knew he wasn't done yet. Far from it.

"He gets so suspicious of everything and I always try to fucking calm him down but it seems so useless to try when he freaks out about every goddam thing! We cant have a moment of peace or go on a fucking date anymore without him freaking out about somthing! I'm so fucking tired if his bullshit!"

"Craig, you know tweek has high anxiety..."

"Your just making excuses for him, ken!" Kenny flinched at the sudden outburst directed at him.

"Look, I'm sorry its just....we've been dating for YEARS, I know this is going to sound selfish but...we should be past this by now! It shouldn't be so dam hard to BE together! It's like he doesn't fucking trust me!"

"Theres no 'should be past' anything in a relationship,

Theres going to always be new challenges presented and you just have to work them out, together. You need to communicate better with...tweek.

I know hes a little high strung and high maintenance but I also know he loves you unconditionally. Sure he gets a little jealous, but that just means he cares about you so much. You guys need to be better at communicating how you feel." Craig just sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"I fucking know but it's so hard. Tweek makes a big deal about everything so when I tell him to give me some time to figure out how to tell him about how I'm feeling, he just gets even more upset and pouts or starts a whole new argument! It's like he doesn't trust me! Why cant he understood that it's hard for me to Express my feelings like you do, ken?" Kenny blushed deeply and looked down at lap, unsure about what to say. Kenny had never seen craig so upset before. Craig didnt seem to notice Kenny's uncomfortable reaction to what he said, or if he did, he didnt say anything.

"Look ken, its just....we've been fighting so much lately and we barely hang out anymore. Everytime we do hang out, it always turns into another argument." Craig looked at his feet unhappily. Kenny's heart broke at the raw emotion on his face. He looked so unhappy and so dam vulnerable.

"Craig, you and...tweek need to have a serious conversation about everything that's going on and be honest about how you both are feeling. Remember, it's you and tweek against the problem NOT you against tweek." Kenny chuckled uncomfortably. Dispite how much he helped craig it never before felt this serious before. It felt like kenny was walking a very fine line and he didnt want to say the wrong thing and jeopardize his friendship with craig whom he treasured more then anything.

"Ken....wh-what if it never gets better, even if we try and talk it out?" Kenny immediately tensed. This was serious. Craig NEVER talked about breaking up with tweek and it made kenny uncomfortable and his stomach do somersaults.

"What do you mean craig?" He didnt mean for his voice to sound so cautious but he was struggling between his feelings for craig and his friendship for craig. Kenny did NOT want to say the wrong thing and ruin his best friends relationship. Craig looked up and locked eyes with Kenny.

"I mean...what if, hypothetically, me and tweek...just arnt working out? What if...me and tweek break up?" Kenny couldnt breathe with the intense way craig was staring at him, searching Kenny's face for something, EXPECTING somthing from him.

Craig's eyes where so intense and so beautiful Kenny felt like he was soaring. Fuck! How could Kenny be thinking about craig like that when he was so vulnerable and asking about relationship advice? It was disgusting.

"I...i.."I would kiss you and ask you out. The words kenny desperately wanted to speak but was unable. His hesitation seemed to snapped craig out of the intense staredown. Some emotion Kenny couldn't place flashed in Craig's eyes but was gone in a second. Did kenny just imagine it? Craig's eyes softened as he looked down to the floor again.

"Its nothing...I'm probably just overreacting again." He mumbled. No! Kenny wanted to scream. He felt like he had missed something important, something craig had been trying to tell him.

"Craig..." but no words came. Kenny's heart thundered in his chest while he desperately tried to salvage the situation. What did he miss? What the hell was craig trying to tell him earlier? He knew it was to late to say anything when craig sighed deeply.

"Dont worry about it Kenny, I know I always dump my problems on you but really, I'm fine. I'll...see tweek tomorrow and...we'll figure it out, just like you suggested." Craig's fake smile broke Kenny's heart even more. He wanted to punch something and scream at the top of his lungs. This was all his fault! He didnt know what he did but he knew he had fucked up and now craig seemed even worse then before. Kenny could handle angry, shouting craig but he had never before seen sad, distraught, fake-smile craig.

"Yeah craig, that's probably for the best. I know you two can work this out." Because isn't that what Kenny wanted? He wanted his best friend happy and nothing made craig happier then dating his long term boyfriend, tweek. Besides, that look craig had given him was probably nothing, craig had probably wanted relationship advice and Kenny had hesitated! No wonder craig seemed so distraught. He came to Kenny for advice and kenny had been thinking about how much he wanted craig. He was a terrible friend.

Besides, kenny told himself bitterly, even if craig and tweek broke up, it's not like craig would ever date Kenny. There was no way in hell craig would ever like the poorest boy in town with the worst reputation.

"Thank you ken."

"What are you thanking me for?"

"For being my best friend and always helping me." It was Craig's honest and open smile that was the final bullet that killed Kenny that night. Craig had no business giving him a pure smile like that when keeny was the absolute worst friend in the world.

But kenny smiled dispite his internal turmoil.

"You know I always have your back craig." God he was so pathetic. it seemed to do the trick, however and lighten the tense mood enough for craig to smile again.

"Now, let's play some video games and eat some pizza!" Craig cheered and the other boy agreed.

Kenny couldnt shake this feeling of unease and dread as the rest of the night went smoothly while the two boys played video games and hung out late into the night.