#we’re about to go on a big vacation together this whole week and I don’t want to weighing on me
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My parents got rid of my cat. I didn’t realize until I had settled in from my 6 hour drive here and started looking around for him. I knew it was a possibility and was too afraid of the answer to even ask. He wasn’t the most affectionate, or cleanest, or best behaved, but he was my boy.
When I moved out to another state he stayed behind with them and has been here for years with their many other cats. He never traveled for minutes well, let alone hundreds of miles. I just hate I didn’t really get to say goodbye to him, I didn’t know my last visit with him was just that. I know he could be difficult, that’s why I couldn’t manage to keep him myself. That’s why I figure I can’t cast too much judgement on my family for Whatever they did. Life lately has been hard back home for my brother and parents, and another stressor wasn’t needed and not worth everyone else’s mental health for the sake of me resting easy over a cat I can’t keep myself.
I adopted him in some of the ugliest turmoil of my life, even if he didn’t realize it. Even when I didn’t have a home, I had Beef and Beef had me. Sometimes he only made things harder, but as flawed as he and I both were, I still managed to love him. He was an icon, despite it all he was beloved by many, and he won’t be forgotten. They won’t acknowledge that he’s gone to me, nobody has even said his name, but I think it all goes better unspoken at this point. I can imagine him out there living his bestest beefiest happiest fattest life where he’s comfy and pampered.
It’s hard to pin down if the tears I’m shedding are those of a selfish child, wishing others put in work just to keep Me content with the Concept of a happy cat in my hometown with my name attached, lamenting the fact that I could be or have been That selfish child, pure grief and mourning for a pet that’s gone, remorse for what I couldn’t be or hadn’t been, fear of the nebulous unknown for him, frustration with the way it’s all been handled, or some infinitely more nuanced thing combining all of this and more. Maybe sadness is about as all encompassing as it gets for this. Consider this my Beef memorial post. I don’t know if he’s alive or dead, in the woods, in a shelter, or already in a new home with someone loving him just the way he is, but I like to imagine whatever it is is nice to him and he remembers me fondly sometimes.
#tldr-my parents got rid of my cat and I’m upset but also I don’t Really blame them#Aut talks#beef#it’s just sad#it’s a sad situation#I’m not necessarily mad it’s just heavy#we’re about to go on a big vacation together this whole week and I don’t want to weighing on me#so here’s a big ol vent to get it out#so it’s not all stuck inside me#tw animal loss#tw animal death#I don’t know it’s animal death but like if that kinda thing triggers you then this won’t make you feel great#vent post#sorry for the wack vibe you don’t have to read
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How Things Used To Be
I wonder how long it took me to notice that there was something wrong with Nathan. We had been best friends for years, ever since the 5th grade, and we always hung out together both in and out of school. I was hoping things could’ve stayed like that this summer, but it seemed like fate had other plans. Between family vacations and college prep, it seemed like he didn’t have time for me anymore. And to make it worse, whenever he wasn’t doing that, he was hanging out with some other guys who I had never met, and he never even bothered to ask me if I wanted to come with. I know people grow and change, but I didn’t want to see it happen to my own best friend. On the bright side, we’re going to the same college, so I hope I can see him around.
And I did see him. It was the third week of courses, once I was starting to get acquainted with campus life. For once, I was actually being more social, trying to fill the gap that Nathan left. I used this opportunity to start talking to people in my classes and I found that we had some similar interests. I wish I could say the same for my roommate, but he mostly keeps to himself and we don’t have much in common.
Okay, back to Nathan. I was walking back to the dorms after my last class, texting one of my classmates about the homework. I was interrupted when I walked headfirst into another student. I should’ve been paying more attention to my surroundings. I looked up at the giant in front of me, probably 6’3”, before apologizing.
“James, is that you?” the giant asked. The voice sounded very familiar, yet at the same time, different. I took a closer look at him. “Long time no see, huh?” I was surprised when I realized who it was.
“Nate? Woah, what happened to you?” I couldn’t believe that this person in front of me was my best friend. This was not the same Nathan from three months ago during graduation. He was always a bit taller than me, but he had to have grown at least 3 inches. He used to wear glasses, but it seemed like he switched over to contacts.
In the warm August heat, he was wearing a tank top which revealed his newfound biceps for the whole world to see. The tank top clung closely to his chest and I could see his newly-formed six-pack through the fabric. He was wearing basketball shorts that were short enough that I could catch a glimpse of his thighs, which were just as big as his arms. I never knew Nathan went to the gym, and if he did, he never told me. But still, I couldn’t comprehend how he became so huge in just three months, which made me more curious about what he had been up to. A backwards hat fit tightly atop his head with Greek letters on them. Sigma Lambda Chi… Had Nathan really joined a frat? To be completely honest, he looked like he was cosplaying as a frat bro, a far cry from how I knew him.
“Like what you see, bro?” James chuckled, as he flexed one of his arms. He definitely never came across as a cocky showoff, but I was too distracted by his flexed bicep to notice. I caught myself staring for a second too long, before feeling my face turn red hot. Me and Nathan knew everything about each other, but there was one thing I never told him. I was gay. To tell you the truth, I had a crush on him, but I knew I could never tell him to preserve our friendship. But now he looks even better, and he hasn’t made time for me at all. Now he really felt out of my league.
“I’ve been working out a lot lately. I’m glad you noticed.” He still had his signature smile, but it looked out of place on his new body. His face especially looked a lot more angular and masculine. A visible tan glazed over his body like a fresh coat of paint.
“Daaamn! You look great, dude!” To be honest, I wasn’t sure how to feel talking to him again. On one hand, I was happy to see him again, and, admittedly, a little surprised to see him like this. On the other hand, he ditched me this whole summer to hang out with some other guys. It felt so bittersweet.
“If there weren’t other people around, I’d let you…I mean uh, how have you been bro? I know I’ve been busy a lot lately. Sorry about that, dude.” We told each other what we did over the summer, and wow, was his summer more interesting.
As we caught up, I learned more about what he has been up to. Apparently, he joined a frat and he was hanging out with the guys there more and more. He promised that he’d bring me to a party sometime, but I was hesitant because I’m not much of a party animal. That lifestyle just isn’t for me. He also said he was thinking about joining our school’s football team at the request of his roommate, which I found even more surprising because Nathan never played sports in high school. I did track, but I was never that big into sports myself. Our conversation was interrupted as another guy entered the scene.
“Yo, Nate! Finally found you. You seriously need to get better at texting me back, dude. And who’s this dude?” The guy was wearing the same hat as Nate, so I figured he was one of his frat bros.
“My bad, bro. Brett, this is James. We go way back. James, this is Brett. He’s my roommate. We met over the summer and we’ve been hanging out since.”
“Alright, cool, bro,” Brett responded, clearly impatient and indifferent towards me. He dismissed me entirely, almost like I wasn’t worth his time. “You still going to the gym with me or what?”
“Sorry, bro. I just ran into him and we were catching up.” Nathan responded. “Hey, I gotta get going. We should get food sometime. Peace!” I watched as Nathan and Brett walked away in the opposite direction of me towards the gym. As they moved further away, I could hear Brett chastise him about something. This is the guy that Nathan ditched me for? I hope I’m wrong, but he seemed like kind of a dick. I know I was jealous of him for taking up my best friend’s time, but I didn’t trust him. As for me, I returned to the dorm to work on the assignment with my roommate.
The next time I saw Nate was that weekend, when I held up his promise to get something to eat. I tried to ask him about it earlier in the week, but he was doing stuff at the frat all that time. I was at least grateful that he took time out of his schedule for me for once. He mentioned that he normally doesn’t hang out with anyone who wasn’t in the frat, almost like they were some exclusive bro clique that I was excluded from. For once, it was good to hang out with him one-on-one without any of his frat bros getting in the way. I expected things to be like how they were before, but I couldn’t be any more wrong.
It’s not that I disliked the new Nathan, but I felt like we didn’t have much common ground anymore. It was like he was a completely different person. He didn’t seem to care that much about our old interests anymore. He didn’t have time for video games and he just wasn’t that interested in watching movies or photography anymore. All he seemed to care about was working out all day and partying all night. All he would talk about was some stupid stuff he or one of his bros did.
Plus, he told me he switched his major from mechanical engineering to be a personal trainer. It seemed like he just became a total gym bro overnight. The studious and witty Nathan that I loved kinda just seemed to be a stereotypical meathead now. The worst part was that I knew that this was the same Nathan deep down, and he still treated me the same even if he was a lot busier. I felt like maybe I was the problem since he was clearly still having a good time, and I wasn’t. Why do I feel this way?
I felt my mood change as we talked. Eventually, I figured it was time to cut off the conversation and return to the dorm, but Nathan definitely knew something was off. He texted me later that evening, asking me if everything was alright. To be honest, I wanted to make some lame excuse that I was feeling sick, but we’ve always been honest with each other, so I told him how I really felt.
Me: Nate, to be honest, I think I need some time away from you. I don’t hate you or anything, but it feels like we’ve been growing apart and I feel like you’ve become a different person. I feel like when I look at you, I don’t see the Nathan I’ve known for years, but someone else entirely.
I wanted to say more about how I felt about his new changes, but I didn’t want to escalate things.
Nathan: James, I’m sorry you feel that way about me. I felt like we had a good time today. I’ve grown and changed a lot recently, and I’ve realized a lot about myself, but I’m happy with who I am right now. I know I’m spending a lot of time at the gym or with Brett or my other bros, but I still care about you deeply, bro. You might be right though. Hanging out with you isn’t the same as hanging with the guys at the frat.
Me: Do you honestly see yourself as just a frat boy? You’re more than that. You’re my best friend. But now, you have more in common with the jocks from high school than the Nathan I knew. It’s hard talking to you now since all you care about anymore are your gains and partying. You’re nothing more than a meathead now.
Nathan: So that’s how you see me, bro? The reason I had been avoiding you is because I knew that you wouldn’t like seeing me like this. I guess I was right, bro. But trust me, I’m happy like this. I’m a lot more social than when I was when I was with you, and I’ve even become more in shape too. I care about our friendship more than you can possibly imagine, but I guess this is for the best. To be honest, I think it would be a lot of fun if you were here in the frat with me, but I know you wouldn’t say yes.
I didn’t bother responding. I could never picture myself joining a frat. I would never get along with his frat bro friends, especially Brett, who seemed to be the one he was closest with. I still couldn’t believe Nate would choose him over me. I wasn’t sure whether to feel angry, or sad, or disappointed towards him. I felt like he was wasting his life partying when he should be studying. To think this was the person I cared about more than anyone. It was at this point that I figured I probably wouldn’t have my old friend back. Or so I thought.
A couple weeks passed and I tried to move on from Nathan. I always saw him on his story drinking and partying late into the night at the frat house or posting selfies at the gym. He looked like he was fully embracing his new frat boy persona now. If he didn’t still care about me, it would’ve felt like he was doing it out of spite. As for me, I started to hang out with my classmates more and more, and there was even a guy I went on a date with. It was a nice date and I did like the guy, but for some reason, the thought of Nathan lingered in my mind. Even though I hated what he had become, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about him. I couldn’t deny how much he turned me on. Why was I still thirsting after a stupid fucking frat bro? One afternoon, after I returned to my dorm, I received a text on my phone. To my surprise, it was Nathan.
“Hey bro, can we talk? There are some things I need to get off my chest.”
I didn’t know what he could possibly want with me now. I suppose I can hear him out just so I can see what he wants. I went over to his room further down the hall, and thankfully Brett was not here to ruin the moment. Nate said that he was doing some preparations for some stuff at the frat. When I asked, he didn’t specify what though. It always feels like stuff at the frat is kept under wraps.
“Did you want a drink?”
“Sure.”
“Even if it’s beer?” A mischievous grin appeared on his face. Was he seriously offering me beer? I knew that alcohol wasn’t allowed in the dorms, but clearly that rule didn’t faze him. Obviously he knew how to get his hands on some drinks. To be honest, I had never drank alcohol before, but I figured this would be the easiest way to try it before I turned 21. Plus, it might alleviate the tension between us. Either that or make us fight like two drunkards in a bar.
“Sure, why not.” Nate went to get two bottles for us. I took my first sip and was disgusted by the bitter taste of the beer.
“You don’t like it? Neither did I at first,” Nate chuckled. “After a while, you get used to it.” Nate turned the TV on as we chatted. I apologized about what I said about him last time we talked, but he said it was no big deal. I felt like I was a little too harsh on him. It could just be the alcohol, but I found that I got along with him better than I did weeks ago. As we chatted, my body started to tingle. Was this how it felt like to be drunk?
“Hey, Nate. I feel kinda weird, but not like drunk weird. Is this normal, bro?” I asked. By this point, we both had two drinks each. I didn’t mind the taste of the beer the second time.
“Nah, you’re fine bro.” Nate responded, with a smile on his face. Compared to me, he appeared to be much more sober. “It happens sometimes, especially when you’re not used to it.” I figured he knew best, since he was the one drinking and partying all the time, so I ignored this foreign feeling rushing through my body. I felt as if my body was overheating as I felt my arms and legs throb and pulsate. Sweat was leaking off my armpits and down my forehead. There was part of me that knew that something was off, but it was drowned out by the alcohol. As I took another sip, I felt my arm spasm as I accidentally spilled some beer onto my shirt. Shit, I wasn’t expecting to do laundry later.
“Damn bro, you made a mess. You alright? Do you wanna change your shirt?” Nate asked. I nodded and he quickly went to his room to pick out something for me. It wasn’t the first time I had to wear his clothes. “Sorry about that, bro. First thing I found. Hope it fits you.” It was a stringer tank with Sigma Lambda Chi on it. I bet Nate looked like a walking symbol of the frat wearing that stuff. For some reason, the idea was kinda amusing to me because it seemed so over the top. I wondered how I would look dressed up like that. I’d probably look really stupid.
I stripped out of my wet shirt and changed right in front of him. I caught a whiff from my armpits, and I thought I smelled like a sweaty gym bro. The tank appeared to be a size up and it hung loosely on me. Still, it was better than nothing I guess. Despite that, it had a nice familiar smell to it though. It smelled like Nathan, but at the same time, it had a different flavor to it. He smelled a lot more manly than I remembered. I bet he wore it to the gym often.
Eventually, after my third drink, I went to go to the bathroom. My body was starting to ache, like I had just done a workout with Nate earlier. Workout…Was that what happened earlier? …I think so? Did we work out after class and come back to his place for some brewskis? For some reason, the events of today felt incredibly fuzzy to me. I was starting to forget the reason I was here in the first place.
I clumsily stumbled over my feet which looked bigger than usual. After I took a piss, I looked at myself in the mirror. Something was off, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I didn’t always look that big, right? From a first glance, it looked like I was looking through one of those distorted mirrors they have at amusement parks. I had to have been really drunk at this point. I chuckled at the figure in front of me. At this point, I almost looked like one of those frat bros! I decided to flex my arms like they would, oblivious to the fact that they already grew just a little bit, before joining Nate on the couch.
“There you are, big man!” he said as he squeezed my muscles. I have been working out recently, I think. “I thought you passed out in there. Most guys don’t last that long for their first time, but you look good enough for another brewski.”
After downing our fourth drinks, the conversation took a different turn.
“Yo, James. I knew you said you weren’t too big on the idea of joining our frat last time we chatted, but how do you feel now, having thought things over?”
I remembered our last conversation. Honestly, I was so drunk that I didn’t remember why I turned him down in the first place. The idea that seemed unappealing to me at the time seemed like it was perfect for me at this moment. I didn’t even understand why I would be so reluctant to join. I needed to join more than anything else. I would do anything to join, even if I had to completely humiliate myself in front of my fellow bros. At this point, nothing was too extreme for me. The fact that Nate was in it was enough reason to join, so we could hang out more like we used to. Plus, I could get to hang out with all my other bros and drink and party whenever we want.
“I’ve given it some thought, and yeah bro, I’ll join,” my voice slurred as my mouth moved before my mind could. I had committed at this point. No backing out now. I’m a member of Sigma Lambda Chi for life.
“Sweet, bro!” He grabbed me on my far shoulder and pulled me close. “I’m glad you said yes, because I have a surprise for you. Close your eyes, bro.”
I closed my eyes as Nate went into his room to grab something. Did I actually agree to join his frat? I’m not sure what’s going on with me today. When he came back, I felt Nate press on my head as his “surprise” fit tight around it. “You can open them now.”
I realized I was wearing the same hat that Nate always wore, with his frat’s letters printed on it. “We’re gonna be matching now, bro. Isn’t that awesome? I know you’re gonna want to wear it whenever and wherever. But you’re wearing it wrong. Let me fix it for you, dude.” He turned the brim around so it faced my back. As my hat turned backwards, I felt my mind fog up and any tension or brain activity screech to a halt. I was unable to realize what I signed myself up for, unable to protest. My conscious mind was drowned out by the alcohol and this hat was like a lock, sealing it away. Not that I was against this, as a wave of pleasure surged through me. I felt my mind slow down, almost as if it was stuck in molasses, as my thoughts began to simplify. It felt good though...
I would follow the example of my fellow brothers. Look like them, think like them, act like them. Almost like a hivemind of bros, you know, bro? By this point, the changes were irreversible. Nate had turned me into another frat bro just like him.
“Everything worked out as planned, bro. You see, when you, my own best bro, told me you didn’t want to join the frat with me, I was actually really hurt. So I talked to Brett, and had him “work his magic”, to help me do to you what he did to me. I don’t like to lie to you, but it’s a frat secret, so now you get to know bro. Like I said, it’s a secret, so don’t talk about this with anyone.”
“Don’t worry about it bro. It’s all…uh…
Fuck dude, what’s the word…water under the bridge? Huhuhu…” I really had to think about that one. I found it harder to articulate and use complex words, as I mainly just spoke in bro-speak. To be honest, I wasn’t really that upset that he lied to me. He did what he had to as a member of the frat. I never stayed mad at one of my bros for very long.
“Now we get to be brothers for life,” he said as he gave me a big bro hug. We clung to each other like two giant masses of muscle. My huge biceps wrapped around his firm back as his did for me. Afterwards, he handed me my fifth drink and we cheered to me joining Sigma Lambda Chi. He laid down all of the rules, what everything was like, telling me about the coolest guys there, and so on. He said he’d bring me to the frat house and introduce me to everyone tomorrow. “They’re gonna love you for sure, bro. I’ve got an eye for cool bros like you.”
As it got later, and we moved on to drink numero 6, I felt myself get very tired as we both passed out on his couch. I woke up a couple hours later, and I looked out the window to see a pitch black sky. Shit, it was almost 10 PM and I had to turn in my assignment at midnight. But for some reason, I didn’t really care right now. I didn’t mind turning in assignments late as long as the teacher still gave me credit. I felt no different from the way I was a couple hours ago, just another Sigma Lambda Chi frat bro, but I liked it. It felt right to me. It was where I, no, where we belonged.
I looked down. Nate’s tank hung tightly to me now. It took me a second to notice my arms…Holy shit, they were fucking huge! I looked awesome, bro. As I admired my new body, Nate was still asleep, his hand on my meaty thigh. Just above that, my dick throbbed through my pants. Fuck, I was so horny for some reason. Eventually, Nate slowly regained consciousness.
“I usually don’t drink this much on a school day,” Nate said, still a little hungover as he rubbed his eyes. We sat in silence for about a minute before he spoke again. “By the way, there was another reason I invited you over. There’s something that’s been on my chest for a while.”
“Go ahead, bro. I can take it,” I responded confidently. My voice sounded deeper and more bro-like than usual, just like him.
“Here goes, dude. I think I like you, bro. Not like you, but I think I like like you. I know it’s hella gay, but I couldn’t stand to see you be so cold to me. That’s why I had to make you a bro like me. I’m sure you’ll love it here, bro. And hey, if you’re not gay, that’s cool. We can forget this shit ever happened and go back to being bros for life.”
At first, I honestly thought I was still dreaming. First, he turned me into a frat boy, and now, he was confessing his feelings to me? How crazier could this night get? For all my life, I thought he was straight. I remembered being glad when he broke up with his girlfriend two years back. I couldn’t stand her. When he joined Sigma Lambda Chi, I assumed he was 100% straight and that he was banging some sorority chicks every night. To think he felt the same way I did all this time.
“Bro, I like you too. When you stopped talking to me, I started to get kinda jealous. I didn’t want to accept you for who you are. But being your bro just isn’t enough for me, bro.” I leaned in for a kiss, my inhibitions still nowhere to be found. It was my first kiss and it was with the person I cherished most. I felt like I was in heaven. I didn’t really care that I was a dumb frat bro like him anymore. I never did. That shit was stupid anyways. But now, Nate fixed our friendship and made us closer than ever. I loved the taste of his lips against mine and I didn’t want it to end but eventually Nate parted our lips.
“Wanna fuck me, bro?” he whispered in my ear. A flirtatious smirk was plastered on his face, and one of his hands was still wrapped around my neck. This was real. I nodded as he took me to his bed. I had never done this before, but I’ve seen plenty of porn, so I knew what to expect. He laid down on his back and stripped naked. I never felt this aroused before. My dick even looked bigger than it used to be. I was so pent up that I felt like I was holding this load in for months. I guess frat bros really are as horny as they say. I lubed up my larger cock before sticking it into Nate’s hole.
My serpent stretched out his tight hole as he had clearly not seen much action down there until now. I pounded his ass as my dick went in and out of him. In and out, in and out, in and out…It was a steady rhythm, my dick was like a metronome. My hands clung to him as I held him in place, pinning him to his bed. My hands ran all over his shoulders, broad and muscular, built like a football player’s. We both felt absolutely euphoric as our deep, masculine moans filled the room. The moans were loud enough that the students on the other side of the wall could easily hear them, but I didn’t care about any noise complaints as I fucked him harder and harder. After half an hour of fucking, he both hit our orgasm at almost exactly the same time. I ejaculated inside his tight hole, my hot, sticky seed flooding his insides as Nate came all over his abs. At this point I was exhausted and still hungover and I basically fell on top of him on his bed. We were both panting and out of breath.
“I knew you were a good fucker, bro.” he whispered seductively as he kissed me. We stayed in that position for several minutes until we heard the door open.
“Yo, Nate! Did you do it? How did it go?” a voice asked, shouting loudly from the other room. I recognized the voice as Brett’s. He peeked into the room, witnessing the two of us cuddling together naked. To be honest, I thought he would’ve been grossed out. Guess I had the wrong idea about him.
“Better than expected, dude,” Nate responded. He didn’t seem to care that we were both naked in front of his roommate and that we just got back from our trip to Pound Town.
“He looks way better this way, don’t you agree, bro? But man, dude, now I know why you wanted him to be a pledge so bad. I was wondering why you wouldn’t fuck any of those sexy sorority babes. More for me, I guess.”
A week passed and by then, I joined the frat officially. Me and Nate started dating shortly after, but none of our bros minded. It didn’t matter if we were gay, we were still brothers. I also learned how Nate met Brett. He was taking a tour of the campus over the summer and he ran into Brett who was recruiting people for the frat. Brett took a liking to him and kinda took him under his wing like some sort of mentor and they started hanging out since he only lived a town away from us. Brett was our age, but he had more seniority and authority because his older brother Brad was very popular within the frat. Turns out Brett and some of the upperclassmen knew how to turn guys into the ideal bros for their frat. They wanted to bolster their numbers to make Sigma Lambda Chi the biggest and coolest frat in the state, with the biggest bros and the biggest parties, and naturally both me and Nate were chosen. Not that either of us minded. Nate joined the football team with Brett and some other guys in the frat, and the rest of us would go watch them play every game. Our section of the stadium was always the loudest and rowdiest, especially when one of our bros scored a touchdown.
Apparently I grew a ton during the night that I was with Nate, but I was too drunk to notice just how massive I had become. It must’ve been something in the beer, huhu. I started working out with Nate and Brett, and sometimes some other bros too. I even ended up changing my major. I chose business because my bros said that it was the easiest shit ever and I wasn’t feeling psychology anymore. I didn’t really feel like thinking much anymore and I found that focusing on education so much was a chore and that I was wasting my college experience. I’d rather be partying and drinking or hanging out with the bros at the frat house, watching sports, playing video games, or playing ball outside. I got to see why Nate grew to enjoy this lifestyle so much, and I was mad at myself for not seeing his point of view sooner.
Three years later, me and Nate are still dating and we’re set to graduate this semester. We’re thinking about getting a place in the city not too far from campus, probably with Brett and another friend of ours to save money on rent. We’ll probably still throw parties every weekend like we used to. College was such a memorable experience and I wish I could live it again. I only have Nate, Brett, and all my other bros to thank for making college awesome for me.
#jock#jock bro#jock tf#jock transformation#jockification#male hypnosis#male tf#male transformation#mental change#muscle tf#dumbing down#dumb jock#dumber#frat bro#frat#frat boy#muscle transformation#muscle#mental changes#nerd to jock#gay tf#gay jock#transformation#reprogramming#dumbification#college jock#personality change
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so I just saw the sleep token themed smau you did and it gave me an idea: reader is the daughter of a big new wave rockstar from the 80s (like someone from INXS or Duran Duran), and she’s started dating a driver (Alex or Mick) and now there’s a whole generation of fans who are like ‘her dad is who??? in what band???’
I just thought it could be neat, seeing two of my special interests merge like that lmao god I love the eighties-
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y/n.rhodes Thank you mercedesamgf1 for having me!❤️ Such a fun weekend!!
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mercedesamgf1 It was a pleasure having you with us for the weekend!❤️
user1 UMMMM????
user2 since when does she go to races?
landonorris such a shame you didn’t wear the papaya shirt i gave you
y/n.rhodes next time, i promise !!!!
landonorris hmmm, okay. mclaren do your thing
mclaren On it! 🫡
lilymhe you’re gorgeous babe 😍😍
y/n.rhodes have you seen yourself???😭❤️
alex_albon please don’t flirt with my girlfriend
y/n.rhodes you can’t stop us now. she’s OUR girlfriend
lilymhe sorry babe
alex_albon ???
zendaya i miss you girl !!!
y/n.rhodes i miss you too !!!!
user3 she is such an icon
user4 we should be grateful to be living in the same era as her
user3 for realllll
user4 i wanna be her so badly😭😭
lewishamilton it was a pleasure meeting you🥂
y/n.rhodes likewise, Sir Hamilton 😮💨
lewishamilton i told you not to call me that
y/n.rhodes i must have not heard you, loud garage you see
mickschumacher had a lovely time!❤️
y/n.rhodes so did i❤️
iMessage
sir lewis
hey y/n
y/n
hello sir hamilton
sir lewis
😐woman
y/n
okay sorry sorry
what’s up
sir lewis
what’s the deal with you and Mick?
y/n
what do you mean?
sir lewis
all the flirting in the garage
the comments
what’s going on?
do you have a crush?😉😉😉
y/n
we’re just friends
nothing is going on
sir lewis
are you sure?😌😌
y/n
yes lol
sir lewis
i don’t believe you, but okayyyy
y/n🩵
lewis is onto us
mickie🩵
what?
how?
y/n🩵
unmmm
the comment?????
maybe because we flirted in the garage?
he’s convinced we have crushes on each other
mickie🩵
fuck
what do you want to do?
y/n🩵
i mean
we can just go with the flow
just show up together and that would be it
mickie🩵
are you sure?
we don’t have to
y/n🩵
it’s okay, i wanna
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liked by y/n.rhodes, estebanocon and 684,195 others
mickschumacher great weekend, time to recharge
view all 89,143 comments
mercedesamgf1 Hope you enjoy your time off ;)
mickschumacher thank you admin :))
georgerussell63 very nice pictures, mate
mickschumacher thank you, i have a talented photographer
georgerussell63 i'm sure you do ;)
estebanocon you went on holiday without me? :(
mickschumacher i had to :( i didn't have a choice
estebanocon you always have a choice
mickschumacher no, he doesn't - the missus
estebanocon sorry ma'am, i take it back
user1 Mick having a girlfriend was not on my bingo card for this year
user2 I need to know who his girlfriend is like YESTERDAY
user3 I might know who she is
user4 BESTIE???????? SPILL
user3 I might be completely wrong and off-track but I believe it might be Y/N Rhodes
user3 isn't she the girl who visited the garage a couple of weeks back?
user4 Yes. She's the daughter of Nick Rhodes, a member of the band Duran Duran
user5 MICK BAGGED A GIRL???
y/n.rhodes those are some very nice pictures, mr. schumacher
mickschumacher i have a very good photographer who took them for me
y/n.rhodes you'll have to introduce them to me, they seem very good at what they do
user5 I wanna be on vacation with him too :(((
user6 NOBODY MOVE, MICKIE HAS A GF
user7 this explains his impressive drive a couple of weeks back
lewishamilton interesting turn of events
mickschumacher i don't know what you're talking about
liked by lewishamilton, mickschumacher and 5,291,825 others
y/n.rhodes i like the view tagged: mickschumacher
view all 602,185 comments
lewishamilton I KNEW IT
y/n.rhodes nostradamus, congratulations
lewishamilton don't mock your seniors
mickschumacher 🩵
y/n.rhodes 🩵
mercedesamgf1 Thank you Y/N for being our lucky charm from here on out! 🩵
y/n.rhodes always a pleasure 🩵🩵
user1 MICK AND Y/N?????
user2 this took me completely by surprise
user3 I TOLD YOU GUYS I KNEW IT
estebanocon finally
mickschumacher :)
y/n.rhodes thank you for keeping quiet, estie bestie
estebanocon i told you not to call me that
y/n.rhodes sucks to suck
user4 Y/N seems like such a menace and I'm here for it
user5 mickschumacher did you meet Nick?
mickschumacher i did
user6 HOW WAS IT?????
mickschumacher intimidating, but we get along great
y/n.rhodes my dad loves him, he's a sucker for blondes
user7 DAMN Y/N
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Christmas cheer
When a relationship not known by Chris’ family is suddenly front and center when he insists on her coming to his family Christmas festivities. Just how insane can she expect it to be? And how bad will it effect her relationship?
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
“I just need my bathing suit and I’ll have all my clothes ready to be packed.” I tell him as I hold the laundry basket in my arms
He nods as he remains half out of it staring at me
“Chris?”
“Mmhm?”
“What’s on your mind?”
He sighs as he sits up saying “I’m not liking the idea of not being together on Christmas. The best holiday.”
I drop the laundry basket and walk over to him, I sit on the armrest of the chair as he pulls me towards him
His lips press to my shoulder as he says “The Bahamas are so lame right now. Change your flight. Let’s go there for New Years. Boston is so beautiful right now.”
Sighing I say “My whole family is there, and they would love to meet you. You know that. I talk about you all the time and my mom already loves you. Why don’t you come with me? And then we can celebrate New Years with your family?”
Slowly he considers giving in as my eyes practically melt him and my lips press to his as I smile widely
The corners of his lips curve upwards in response to me and he groans saying “My mom and sisters would kill me if I missed Christmas. My nieces and nephews are expecting me there.”
Nodding I sigh saying “So basically we can’t spend the holiday together. And we’re back to square one.”
He smiles to me and says “Yeah. I guess so.”
But that look on his face for a split second was awfully mischievous and I know he’s up to something.
He pushes my hair out of my face and kisses my collarbones as we draw closer to each other
“It’s snowing in Boston. Have you ever been to Boston when it’s snowing?”
“No. I haven’t.”
“Winter is my second favorite season there. A white Christmas is my favorite. And my family goes all nine yards.”
“Oh really? What do they do?”
He smiles and says “Well my whole big family pile into my childhood home and we spend the whole week together. My mom has us baking and cooking all week and we go see a Christmas play on Christmas Eve. And we have a Christmas Eve party after. And Christmas Day is the best, seeing my niece and nephews excitement over the gifts is the best. My mom makes us spiked hot chocolate and we have this massive dinner. It’s literally heaven.”
The pause sits for awhile as I think on my family, my parents have my sisters and all their friends in the Bahamas with them currently
I paid for the vacation, called it an early Christmas gift.
But… Boston doesn’t sound too bad
“If.. I can change my flight, I’m in.”
His eyes widen suddenly as he looks to me surprised saying “You’re serious?”
I scoff saying “Was that not a real offer?”
“No! No it was real. I’ll.. I’ll call my mom telling her you’re coming along.”
I nod and stare at the laundry across the room. I sigh saying “im not going to need that bathing suit am I?”
He laughs whole heartedly and I grumble saying “You owe me time at the beach. I need ocean and sun time.”
“Promise. New Years with your family in the Bahamas. We can stay a week longer than your family. Just us.”
I sigh into him as I grow relaxed, nodding saying “That sounds perfect. Just what I need after the shit-show movie I just wrapped.”
“He was a terrible director.”
“He made me pull my hair out. I need to strictly rely on Greta and Sofia for work. They’re the only tolerable directors I’ve worked with. Besides obviously the marvel projects.”
He nods saying “Making everyone work on a holiday is crazy.”
“Well you saw how well that worked out for him.”
Chris laughs saying “I don’t think I’ve ever seen a movie crew so happy that an actress went full diva for them.”
“They all deserved to be with their families, regardless if they celebrated the holiday or not.”
“Trust me, I know they were thankful.”
I sigh saying “Yeah…. Now tell me what I need to pack for Boston.”
“You need to start with at least 3-4 coats or jackets.”
I make a winced face and say “You’re kidding.”
“That doesn’t include winter coats. Do you have a winter—”
He pauses as he looks to me as I produce a pinched expression and shrug saying “I don’t own anything like that.”
“We’ve got a lot of work to do then.”
The flight was simple enough, I overpacked and had to check my bag. Chris didn’t have to, he had a small enough bag for it to be a carry on
I realized how big of a mistake it was to check my bag the minute I started looking through the carousels for my suitcase
Only to my surprise it never came around. Chris felt terrible as the flight attendant informed me that my suitcase, along with half the passengers were left to fly out on the next plane
I blinked in response to her, feeling anger rise within me “what do you mean you left my suitcase?”
“It will be delivered here in a few hours. We can ship it to the address you—”
“I just want my things! Why couldn’t you fit my suitcase on the plane?”
“There are certain rules and regulations we need to follow, the flight was sold out and we couldn’t exceed a certain weight—”
“Everything I need is in my suitcase! It’s 25 degrees out! I need my things!”
Chris wraps his arm around me attempting to calm me down saying “Honey… honey it’s alright. We’ll figure it out.”
I scoff saying “Don’t give me that. You carried your suitcase on. You have everything you could possibly need. I have nothing. My scripts were in there. I needed to run those lines.”
He sighs and attempts to comfort me as he looks to the lady saying “How soon will it be shipped?”
“The second it’s in our custody. You should get it by tomorrow.”
“That’s not so bad, you’ll have all your things by tomorrow. In the meantime we’ll figure something out.”
The Bahamas are sounding a lot better now
“Yeah. Okay..” I say unconvinced and on edge
Chris had called his mom a day ago telling her he was bringing his girlfriend and she was surprised to find out so late in advance
Pretty frustrated this is one of the few times she’d even heard about me.
But before I wasn’t even his girlfriend, we were just going on a few dates. He thought it was easier to just say that to his mother instead
We were both so busy, there was no time to share with anyone else but each other
And we used every single minute we could find with the other
He’d fly to me and leave in the morning. Or I’d fly in at 9am and have to leave at 12am.
He knows he should have mentioned his girlfriend earlier, to not only his mother but probably his sisters and practically anyone else in his family
I ask as he drives our rental car towards the house “Scott’s there already?”
He’s the one person I really knew from his family, considering how often he visited
“Yeah. He just got to the house this morning.”
I swallow hard saying “And your mom, Lisa knows I’m coming to Christmas?”
“She knows, relax y/n. There’s nothing to worry about. My mom will love you and we’ll have a great time.”
“So your older is Carly, and Shanna is your younger sister. Then there’s your dad and he’s a dentist. And then there’s miles and—”
“Clearly you’ve done your research.”
I sigh as I run my hands down my face saying “I wouldn’t even need to. You love your family, you talk about them constantly. I can’t believe this is the first time I’ve met them. I could probably recite their birthdays at this point… oh my god. Don’t let me say that to them. I’m losing my mind. I’m so nervous, were you this nervous to meet my mom?”
He laughs as I scramble my sentences together quickly, talking way too fast
“Your mother gave me no warning, I met her in my boxers while I was getting the paper. I had no time to be nervous.”
I smile and look to him saying “She thought you were handsome immediately.”
He shakes his head saying with a chuckle “No, her first comment was asking why I was so pale.”
Laughing I shake my head saying “I can’t believe she said that.”
“She wasn’t wrong.”
He livens up my mood just switching the topic, I feel better already. He squeezes my hand saying “Just don’t overthink this and you’ll do great. Promise.”
And that’s when we turned down a street where I saw a suburban neighborhood, it was different than I was used to
There was an inflatable Santa on the large patch of grass in the front yard and lights thrown up onto the gutters, brightly colored
The driveway was full and it made me uneasy. Chris put the car in park and once he turned off the engine he looked to me “you ready to go in?”
“The gifts were in my suitcase, Chris. I have nothing for them—”
“You have your bright smile. That’s enough, we can go shopping in the morning or wait for your suitcase. All that matters is the gifts under the tree by Christmas.”
A sigh releases my lips as I look to the sprawl of inflatables across the front yard that I hadn’t noticed earlier
Some that are so clearly Boston suburbia that it’s odd to me
“Oh. That’s Jim. Moms had that inflatable for decades. It’s older than all the grandkids combined.”
“What is… it supposed to be?”
“It used to be an 8foot tall snowman, one of the first to be released. But it’s face wore off so is kids drew a new one on with sharpie and… yeah that was the result.”
Scott slowly sneaks around the car, and slams his palms into the glass of my car door
I scream as I jerk my head towards him and heave heavy breaths as my screaming stops
Chris laughs loudly and boisterous as I nearly kick the door open. It hitting Scott as I climb out, pushing his shoulder as his laugher only annoys me
“You’re an asshole!”
He and Chris just think my reaction is the funniest thing possible
“Did you hit your head when you jumped that high?”
He tumbles to the ground as he falls in the snow and practically cries with laughter
I huff in annoyance saying “Why would you do that?”
“He didn’t tell you?” Scott struggles to say as he gasps for air as his laughter slows
I look to Scott saying “We have a whole competition going, scaring each other. We do this basically every time everyone’s home.”
Chris smiles as he says “She has an out, it’s her first Christmas with us. She is free of the jump scares.”
“No way! She needs to experience the evans family Christmas in every way.”
Chris gives Scott a look and I walk away saying “I’m freezing. Can we please go inside.”
Scott nods saying “that sounds like a great idea.”
Chris nods as he lifts his suitcase through the snow and pulls his jacket off as he drapes it over my shoulders
I look to him thankfully as I tighten it around me. I slow to a stop as I wait for one of the two brothers to lead the way
Chris steps in front of me as he says “You okay?”
“Yeah. Just cold—” but I’m cut off by Scott running towards us and throwing a snowball into the back of Chris’ head
Scott laughs as I feel the corners of my smile turning upwards quickly as I laugh quietly as Chris huffs out a breath of annoyance
“oh… little brother you so shouldn’t have started this.”
“Chris.” I plead as his hand digs into the snow
“Just let me reach this little punk a lesson.”
And they’re already at it with each other. I stand there as Chris creates a snow ball throwing it towards his brother as Scott ducks out of the shot
My sisters and I were never like this. They were 12-15 years older than me. By the time I was 5-6 years old they were out of the house or in college. I was basically an only child with occasional visits from my sisters
But Bree moved to England for a job and Elise lives across the US. Hawaii, with her husband. Her husband is stationed in the navy there
I wince as both Scott and Chris tumble roughly into the snow but I smile because it’s hilarious
“They do this often.”
My shoulders jump at the voice, I thought I was alone out here
I look to the woman and say “And I’m sure it’s entertaining every time.” My smile shines towards her and she breathes out a laugh saying “Yeah. Most of the time. I’m Shanna. You must be y/n, his girlfriend. Right?”
Nodding I say “yes, that is me. I’m sorry to intrude on your Christmas, he insisted I have a Boston Christmas.”
“You don’t have family around here?”
I pause and say “They’re in the Bahamas for Christmas.”
“And you picked this over that?” She laughs as I shake my head saying “I couldn’t leave him. We try to spend any second we can together. I’m sorry, are you Carly or Shanna? Chris talks about his sisters so much but I can’t place your name.”
She smiles saying “Shanna. His younger sister.”
“Oh okay. Thank you.
She nods saying “How’d the two of you meet?”
“Work. Of course. There’s not really anywhere else I could’ve meet someone.”
“You’re an actor too?”
I nod and say “Yeah.”
“Are you cold? We could go in while they sort this whole thing out?”
I look towards Chris as he has Scott pinned down with knee pressed against his back.
Scott’s face doesn’t leave the patch of snow as Chris tells him to tap out
I look to their sister saying “Is this normal?”
Shanna smiles saying “Yes. When they’re around each other they get like this. They’re brothers that’s for sure haha.”
I bite at my lip saying “I really am freezing. We could go in.. I’m just anxious.”
“Why don’t you head in while I get these idiots into the house?”
She steps away before I can argue the offer
I swallow hard and walk towards the house, I so don’t want to go in alone
Scott is pulled up from the snow and pushes his brother as he looks to me as Chris brushes off the snow on his clothes
“Babe, you can head in. You look like you’re about to freeze.”
I nod to Chris and ask “Just walk in?”
“My ma doesn’t care, she has everyone just walk right in.”
I stare at the door as I push it open and enter the house. Shutting it behind me to keep all the warmth in the house
I’m first hit with voices and I slow to a stop as I attempt not to intrude
But then I quickly realize they’re talking about me
“No, this is really the first time he’s ever brought her up. He told me all about her a day ago and that she was coming for Christmas.”
“Shanna is laying into her for answers and to find out what kind of person she is. God I hope she’s not some arrogant brat.”
My eyes widen suddenly as my arms drop to my sides quickly
“God knows Chris has poor taste in women. Should be interesting to meet her. From what he’s told me she’s a bit high maintenance.”
My eyebrows shoot up at that and I huff in annoyance
“I can only hope she isn’t some privileged obnoxious child. Chris didn’t give me much, only that they didn’t want to be apart. It sounds like they’re pretty serious.”
“How close could they be if he kept her hidden from us? She’s got to be the reason he skipped literally everything for thanksgiving but the dinner. He literally rolled in here at 3 and left by 8.”
The pause in conversation leaves me frozen in the entry way as I feel like I just stepped into something I shouldn’t hear
“You think he’s fallen for a girl who will keep him from us for holidays? That’s often what happens when a son marries someone.”
“You think they’re getting married?! He hardly knows the girl. God bless her but Chris could never commit to something like that. You know the cycle, give it a few more months and they’ll have moved on.”
“He said she can be difficult, especially under pressure. Like I said super high maintenance.”
“Probably means controlling.”
Excuse me?
“If this girl is wrong for him I’ll have a conversation with him. He’s my son, he’ll listen to me. She’ll be just another ex girlfriend if we don’t like her—”
I can feel the lump in my throat growing as I reach for the door handle but it opens and I take a step back as Chris steps in
He looks to me confused as I remain hovering by the door like I wanted to bolt, his arms find their way around my sides saying “you alright?”
My shoulders tighten and wind up as my whole body tightens up, I shrug in response as I slip from his grasp
Scott shouts “Ma! Chris and y/n are here!”
Chris huffs in response to his brother
The group of people file towards us as my hands pull at the zipper sides of Chris’ jacket that’s tightly wrapped around my body
Tightening it around me
“Chris!”
He bounds for his mother, and you could tell how much he loves him mom. That’s a strong hug around her. Clearly he missed her
Maybe she was right, I didn’t think I was keeping him from his family
Suddenly I feel super out of place as their whole family hugs and speaks to each other
Slowly I slip into the background of the family as my back presses to the door, everything growing overwhelming
“My sweet boy. I’m so happy you’re here.”
Controlling.
That word wanders around my head as I feel the weight of it
High maintenance
How could she have all these opinions of me before even meeting me?
Scott pulls away from his older sister saying “y/n, meet my sister Carly… y/n?” He looks behind him not finding me
I’m practically melting through the door as Chris suddenly pulls away from the conversation him and his mother are having
“honey?”
The people in front of me, serving as I wall suddenly break into two groups and the whole Evans family turns towards me
Chris looks to me with a widening smile and walks forward, grabbing my hand and saying “Everyone, this is my girlfriend y/n. I’ll introduce you to each person in a minute. Firstly, this is my ma.”
The woman looks to me and I feel the nauseous feeling grow as I stare at her nervously
She takes a step towards me as Chris’ warm hand leaves my back
She smiles and says “I’m Lisa. It’s so great to meet you.”
My grin slips as she pulls me into a hug and I grow frustrated as she says “Chris just adores you.”
I swear there’s sarcasm coming off her words
“Love, mom. I love her.” Chris confirms as his smile falls from his lips and I’m released. I’m basically introduced around and the minute I’m free from introductions I find Scott
He’s with Carly but I grab his wrist tightly and give him the crazy eyes. He excused himself from his sister as I pull him out front
“I have to get out of here.”
“What? What are you talking about?”
My hands pull down my face as I frown and say “Your mother doesn’t know I heard what she and Carly were saying in the kitchen.”
“What we’re they saying in the kitchen?” He leans forward, practically begging for the information
“Am I controlling?”
“What? Why would you…. Oh.” He pauses as he looks inside the glass panels for a second saying “she doesn’t know you. Don’t take what she said to heart. She probably read a bad article about you.”
I shake my head as I sit down on the front steps and he follows shortly after “They lost my suitcase. I have nothing. I’m feeling insecure enough already. And I know Chris is loving every minute of this but I’m just… overwhelmed and annoyed.”
Scott nods as he rubs my shoulder, and I continue saying “He never told his mom or anyone about me. They don’t know me. Would he have ever told them about me? He basically worships your mom. But I’m not important enough to be a topic?”
“I’m sure he has good reason, bee.”
I huff in response and cover my face saying “This is going to be a long week. You have to promise me you won’t leave my side. If Chris isn’t glued to my side you have to be. Please.”
His eyes widen and he says “That’s a big job.”
I narrow my eyes to him saying “Scott.”
He smiles lightly saying “Fine deal.”
“This is going to be a long week.” We both say in sync
☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆
Oh hi! It’s been awhile, hasn’t it! I wanted to create a Christmas story, this is only going to be a few parts, I think (don’t know yet!)
I really enjoyed writing this part, I’m currently working on a part two! I hope you all enjoy this!
Next part>>
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More will be published soon! Promise!
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#chris evans#chris evans x reader#chris evans x girlfriend!reader#chris evans x you#Chris evans Christmas#chris evans x y/n#cevans#captain america#marvel#Chris evans Christmas fic#Chris evans imagine#chris evans fanfic
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To be claimed
Pairing: alpha!Johnny Storm x omega!reader
WARNING - the following story contains: sexual themes/tension, A/B/O verse, tiny bit angst, fluff, talks about mating/bonding, P in V sex, knotting, scenting, kissing/biting, brief fingerfucking, dirty talk, jealousy, slight possessive behavior, pet names.
Summary: Johnny wants you to bond with him but you hesitate to go through with it, - for whatever reason.
Second person POV
You and Johnny were taking a walk around the park on the weekend, spending time to unwind from an intense week. You were walking behind Susan and Richard, who were going into a discussion of where to spend their vacation this summer, which left you and Johnny to talk for yourselves about whatever was on your minds, - in this case about being claimed.
Richard and Susan were newly mated, their mating glands freshly bitten and swollen. Johnny hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off the pair since then, - admiring how his sister had taken the next step with the science nerd of the bunch.
“That could be us, you know. Claimed and bonded, just like these two lovebirds. Haven’t you ever thought about it?” Johnny asked, intertwining his fingers with yours in a tight grip.
You swallow and shy away, lowering your gaze to ignore Johnny’s blossoming bonding fever. “Of course I have..” you reply meekly. “But I think it’s too soon, don’t you think?”
Johnny narrowed an eyebrow, unsure of why you thought so. “Why would it be too soon? We’ve been together for almost two years now. We’re in love, - clearly meant for each other. I don’t see why we should wait..”
He was right. You had known each other for years and Johnny had for two years been in a committed relationship with you, leaving his bachelor lifestyle behind. He had never given a reason for you to doubt him, so why were you so hesitant?
You shrug, removing your hand from him and stalling while being unsure of what else you could say to move past the topic. You had managed to brush it off whenever Johnny brought it up, but now it seemed to be occupying his mind more than any of the previous times, and he was looking for answers.
The silence was worrying Johnny, and he stopped as his face fell when he realized there had to be a reason behind it. He reached for your hand again, and you let him take it as you faced him.
“Talk to me baby,…there’s gotta be a reason why you won’t bond with me…not to mention why you won’t let me claim you.” Johnny trailed, his tone reeking of fret. “Is there something I’m doing wrong? Am I not good enough of an alpha for you?”
Your eyes widened at Johnny’s questioning. “No! No, it’s nothing like that. I’m just…” you were thinking over the right words to use before you spoke, causing you to halt a little, “- You know bonding is a very big step, right? It means we’ll be mated for life, and…that means if you ever change your mind, we will have to remove them…which is a dangerous and painful procedure. I don’t…- I want us both to be sure about what we want before we take that step.”
“Baby,…I’ve never been more sure about anything my whole life. I want it. I’ll always and only want you. I want to be claimed by you.” Johnny stated while searching your eyes. When yours still didn’t meet his, he continued, “I know I used to have a very non-exclusive life style in the past, and I’m guessing that’s making you doubt me…that’s what this is all about, isn’t it? You’re scared I’ll go back to my old habits.”
“I…” you gave up your sentence by the first word and let out a defeated sigh. “Maybe…”
Johnny’s mouth fell shut as he held back from expressing despondency as a first response. “I get it,…it stings a little but I get it. I’ll keep proving to you that I’m all yours until you full-heartedly believe it, firefly.”
Seeing your alpha hide how upset he was through his usual toothy grin made you feel sad. The omega in you was crying for you to change your mind, - let your trust issues disappear.
Having the Human Torch as your boyfriend wasn’t the easiest with how his fan girls showed little to no respect to your relationship. It was as if you didn’t exist when you stood there, witnessing them crowd Johnny so desperately.
You weren’t angry at him for being flattered and letting his ego get stroked after being surrounded with so many admirers. He was a hero after all, and you weren’t about to get jealous of the praise he gets for being one. The only thing that bothered you was the smell of other omegas that would linger on him as they pushed themselves onto him for wanting a selfie, or when they were shooting their shot with a flirtatious pick up line with their hands all over him.
It made you incredibly jealous, even if Johnny put actual effort on pushing the omegas away. It would end up with you turning possessive. Johnny had made it clear since day one that he was only your alpha, but it wasn’t always easy to remember that with how involved he was with other people, and how the lingering omega scents gave you doubts of Johnny’s commitment.
Taking all of that into consideration, it left you feeling unsure of taking that big of a step.
“I’m sorry, Johnny…” was all you could say. You felt incredibly guilty for admitting you were scared, but Johnny was always one to reassure.
“No, no, it’s whatever.” Johnny shrugged the matter off easily. “Like I said, I get it. Hell, before we started officially dating, I used to say how I would never commit cause it wasn’t ‘my style’…fuck, how dumb I was to create that kind of reputation. I don’t think I would have gained it if you were in my life earlier, but it is what it is. I’ll wait for you, as long as you need, okay?”
You were about to speak up, - say something uplifting to make him feel better, because you knew his mood had been brought down even when he was hiding it so well. It was all too late when Richard disturbed your space, introducing the topic of their upcoming mission to Johnny.
Perhaps it’s better to lay it to rest for now, you thought.
A week passes by since that discussion, and it’s an evening of another fancy party celebrating worldwide icons, - in which of course the Fantastic 4 were mainly guested to partake.
You were dressed in your glittery blue dress, with shiny silver accessories decorating your neck and ears. Meanwhile Johnny dressed up in a dark red tux with a golden chain hanging on his neck, a perfect contrast to your appearance.
You were about to leave out to the public together, when before you could make sense of it, Johnny had pulled you back into the corner of the hallway, making you yelp at the quick and unexpected act. You had only seen a glimpse of camera flashes coming from the main entrance right across the room before you were out of sight again.
Johnny was already on you before you could question him, keeping you against the wall while he was pressing himself against you.
“Johnny, w-what are you doing?” You asked, flustered as he kept on gliding his nose along your collarbone, inhaling your scent deeply.
“Making sure I reek of your scent, and you of mine. It’ll push the omegas away from trying to hit on me.” Johnny explained, and you could feel his smirk as he hid his face by the crook of your neck.
He grinded against you and licked a stripe on your mating gland, making you shiver with ecstasy.
“Ever since the first time I caught your scent and saw you, - I was whipped. Now I don’t want anyone or anything else.” Johnny purred his confession in your ear, and it made you close your eyes while taking in his touches.
“J-Johnny…” you whined the alpha’s name, your fingers tangling in his hair as you held him equally close to you.
He snickered in response and pulled away when he thought he had gotten enough. “Sorry, I’m being a bit of a tease, aren’t I? We’ll have our fun when we get home, but the party has just started. We can’t miss out.”
You pouted, but understood that now was not the time to get down and dirty. He pulled you with him out of the corner and you were already surrounded by paparazzi and fangirls outside, though this time there weren’t nearly as much omegas jumping at him with how close he held you against his body.
The omega in you felt a sense of pride when you saw the disappointed pouts. Johnny smelled ‘taken’, - almost as if he was claimed with how he had thoroughly rubbed your scent onto him.
For the first time, you went through a party together where no opportunities arose for others to flirt with your alpha, and you felt content about that.
The night ended far too quickly, because you had enjoyed yourself so much this time. Johnny was also more enthusiastic and upbeat, and when you had asked about it he responded in the most endearing way possible.
“Cause you look so happy and carefree, firefly. Makes me feel good that my girlfriend is having a fun time at a party.”
Yet again Johnny had said something that would stick with you the entire night.
When the party had died out, and you returned to your suites, Johnny was already all over you, ready to break through the sexual tension you had going all evening.
Johnny pulled you to bed behind him, allowing you to collapse on top of him when he laid down on his back. Your dress was left on the floor, leaving you in the expensive lingerie Johnny had bought you not too long ago. Desperate kisses and love bites were exchanged non stop, keeping you almost distracted from dropping the big bomb you had wanted to share with Johnny. Almost.
As your lips finally detached for air, you stared into Johnny’s eyes, lust clouding you with heavy bonding fever.
“Johnny, I thought about what we talked about a while ago, - about bonding and…I think I’m ready.”
His eyes popped out at your proposal. “What? Like…you want to bond? Like right now?” He asked as he sat up with you still in his arms.
You nodded shyly while cupping his face. “You’re a good alpha, Johnny. You’ve proven that so many times already and yet you do so much more to further prove it. -
I want to be your omega permanently.”
Johnny’s face darkened slightly as his grip was beginning to claw on you. “Omega…if this is a prank you’re pulling on me it ain’t funny.”
You laughed at his serious pout, shaking your head to deny his claim. “I’m not, alpha. I promise.”
He grinned widely, and eagerly pulled his shirt off, revealing his unmarked mating gland as he moved his head to the side.
“Mark me first, omega.”
It stunned you how he was easily offering to have himself marked first by you, an omega. It went against tradition as alphas were typically always the first to claim under the ritual, but times have changed and you had found a wonderful alpha who was willing to go on his knees for you before you reached the ground yourself.
“Really? You’ll allow me to do that without even negotiating?” You asked for more clarification.
He smiled adoringly at you, “It’s all I want, baby. Even if you aren’t ready to be marked yourself, I want to belong to you. I’ll be your alpha before you become my omega.”
Your heart swelled at his words. Finally you had let yourself agree and trust the omega in you. He is the right one for me. He is the right alpha.
“I’m already yours,…we’ll go all the way, - together. I’m serious when I say I’m ready to be marked.” You said, and you found a comfortable position on his lap with your thighs widely spread, your butt grinding on his groin. He groaned audibly, his eyes resting as he felt your heat. The smell of your arousal was radiating, making his cock twitch with excitement.
Your lips met as you began grinding against him harder. A whine barely escaped his mouth, the sound being muffled as you barely let his lips move anywhere else from yours. His hands were holding firmly on your hips, as if to make sure you cannot escape this moment and change of your relationship. You wouldn’t want him to have second thoughts either.
His cock was fully erect, straining against the briefs of his trousers by the time your tongues danced with each other. Johnny was flushed, his cheeks red as his eyebrows knitted, showcasing his pleasure.
“Make me yours, omega…” Johnny pled, and your heart fluttered for it. You ground against him, Johnny’s leaking cock soaking through as it ultimately moistens your underwear.
You kissed him once more before you leaned on his neck where his unclaimed mating gland is, ready to be bitten by you. His breath hitched as his hands pressed more firmer around your waist, not wanting you anywhere else.
Your canines sink into his mating gland, and he whimpers as his nails dug into your flesh. You mewl in response, your arms clinging around him as you finally claim your alpha, gifting you the bond tied between the two of you. You lick his wound before giving it a kiss, and when you pull away you are met with his eyes, fully dilated.
“I can feel you…” he murmurs through a heavy breath, “I can feel your emotions through the bond…feel how badly you want to be fucked, omega…can feel how much you want my fucking knot…fuck, this is amazing..”
Your face grows red with everything he tells you. He smirks with the reaction he receives, and takes the opportunity to flip you over to be beneath him this time.
“I’m going to fuck you hard and make you whine around my fat cock, baby. Then when I swell, I’ll claim you, - Make you mine the way you made me yours... “
You swallowed, feeling a rush of adrenaline course through you. You were so, so ready.
His trousers are off before you can make out of the process, but he takes his time on pulling his boxers off, just to tease you as he always does. You bit your bottom lip when his erected cock came into view in front of you, your cunt couldn’t help but pulse at the sight.
You whined, “Johnny, you better pound me with your dick the next 3 seconds or I’ll go crazy -“ Cutting your sentence, a finger was shoved into your core, making you yelp out a moan.
“Greedy girl…” he murmured in your ear as he lied over you, close again. “I know you’re desperate but I’m not going anywhere, baby…I’ll make my teasing worth it for you.”
After thoroughly fingerfucking you, he slot his body closer between your thighs, aiming his length directly into your pussy.
Johnny already snaps his hips into yours and drives in balls deep with one forceful thrust. He sucks in air as he whispers, “Always so tight…so perfect for me, omega.”
He pistons into your cunt, already ripping an orgasm out of you as your pussy oozes out juice. Your eyes are rolling back as he keeps going, taking what he needs in order to reach his climax. You don’t mind him taking control at all, already craving to cum around his cock soon again with the special awaiting finale to the round.
“Alpha,…my perfect alpha…” you whispered in his ear, making him growl lowly as his canines became visible. He was incredibly tamed for being an alpha, which was unlike him as he was rather impulsive. You can’t count the many times you thought he would mark you through instinct, but he proved you wrong each time, - just like now with how he didn’t claim you right away as you had claimed him.
“Fuck! Omega, m’close…wanna claim you as I cum. Will you allow me to do that, omega? P-Please let me..” he purred his request. “Mmh, you smell so fucking good, I can’t keep myself off you, omega..” he added through a lustful groan as he kept his face buried under your neck.
“Mmh, W-Wanna be marked and knotted so bad, Johnny…ahh, - please, do it!” You pled with need.
His knot began to swell and he was left to repeatedly push in what was getting stuck inside to receive friction. With a loud growl, he sunk his teeth into your mating gland, making your whole body jolt as you howled from the sting of pleasure and pain it caused.
“Love you, omega..” he mumbled against you when he retracted his bite, licking the bruised up skin. His body steamed as he came inside, his load of hot temperature, making you really feel what was happening inside of you. He licked the skin from any blood, before giving the sensitive spot kisses. “I’ll never get enough of you. Never ever.”
You smiled. “Love you too, alpha..” you murmur back softly, rubbing your nose against his collarbone as you let yourself feel what the two of you had manifested. A deeper connection unlike any other is what you had welcomed. It felt unreal but so good, you could almost forget the stingy pain on your shoulder blade.
“Mine..you’re all mine now.” Johnny growled, almost possessively as he kept you pressed underneath him, locked together. He was more feral now, revealing his typical alpha possessiveness which was normally just an undertone whenever he was a tiny bit jealous.
Your hands tightened gently around his back, not wanting to be anywhere else but close to him at this very special moment. He kept himself inside of you even when his knot deflated, but flipped you around to have you on top of him as you cuddled. Your head laid on his chest, his purring more audible to your ears, but it was music to your ears.
You finally felt complete, and it was all thanks to Johnny, - your forever to be mate through your bond.
“Yours…”
A/N: Finally, out with some writing after what, 1 and a half month of just nothing? It feels accomplishing to say the least!
Hearts & Reblogs are always appreciated! <3
#johnny storm x reader#alpha johnny storm x omega reader#johnny storm x you#johnny storm x y/n#chris evans#chris evans character fanfiction#chris evans x reader#human torch x reader
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Am I too late? 😂🥰 Hi Angie! I hope youre well! Been a while and I miss yoooou! Gimmie some soft holiday magic with Ashton maybe? 👀🥹
My dear Sky 💜 this one ran away with me, and I really do hope this is everything you dreamed of. To be honest, I plan on revisiting this one later this year because I had so much fun building the characters and their story. 💜
masterlist. | want to be added to my taglist? | Christmas Blurb Fest 2022
just fall in love with me this Christmas. [a fake dating story with Ashton]
warnings: boss!Ashton. personal assistant!reader. fake relationship. just general cuteness and feels and confessions and such.
word count: 4350
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“It’s one more hour and then you’re free to go.”
“Are you kicking me out of your Mom’s house? My own boyfriend?”
Ashton giggled at your offended face, holding onto the plate he was drying, and you were quick to join him, trying to stay as quiet as possible. You flicked some water at him as you finished the dishes, an offer you made to his mother after she so generously welcomed you to her home and let you be part of their Christmas preparation and the holiday itself. To be honest, it wasn’t such big of a surprise – after all, you were dating her really lovely and really handsome son, Ashton.
Fake dating her son, Ashton. Ashton, who was your boss. Your boss, who somehow made his whole family believe that he did go on dates which he was able to fit into his really tight schedule. A tight schedule which usually took up his whole day, and which you were responsible for – after all, you were his personal assistant, so it was perfectly normal for him to talk about you in the most random contexts, right?
.
Apparently his family thought otherwise.
Ashton approached you after a long Friday night back in November and offered to take you home, saying it was too late and too dark to wait for a cab or an Uber, and that it was the least he could do after you stayed overtime because of his meeting running too long. You were chatting about the upcoming Monday and what you needed to prepare for with the holiday season coming up when he let out a little cough, slowing down at a red light.
“If the holidays have already come up…”
“I did schedule your two-week vacation for December,” you smiled at him, tapping away on your tablet to pull up your notes, ready to jot down any other things he wanted you to add. “You just need to confirm when exactly you want to go home and I’ll buy your ticket as well.”
“What are you doing for Christmas?”
“Uhm… nothing?” you shook your head a little, his question taking you off-guard. “Why?”
“You’re not going home for the holidays?” Ashton looked at you, teeth sinking into his bottom lip, something you were not used to; he was always so confident and put together.
“No, my family is currently not talking to each other, and I really don’t want to deal with that if I can help it,” you explained, shrugging a little. “I would rather spend Christmas on my own and in peace.”
“What would you say if I asked you to come and spend Christmas with my family?” he parked the car in front of your building, finally turning towards you.
“I’m not sure I understand…” you raised an eyebrow at him, looking at him expectantly. “What is going on?”
“I– might have told them that we’re dating and that you’re coming with me?” Ashton said the whole thing in one breath, face twisting into an apologetic grimace. “I’m– sorry?”
“You did what?” you blinked at him, not even questioningly – you just felt confused. Really confused. You were sure your boss just lost his mind.
Ashton let out a loud groan, head banging on the steering wheel as he mumbled a few colourful curses, before falling back against his seat, fingers running through his perfectly styled hair, messing it up in a second. In any other situation this would have been a hilarious sight for you – your extremely talented and influential, well-dressed and well-spoken boss falling apart in his car, all but making a fool out of himself with the dramatic way he acted. But you knew Ashton. You’ve been working with him for more than two years now, first as a junior assistant, then promoted to be his personal assistant once he fired your predecessor. He rarely freaked out over things, especially minor ones. But this seemed like a problem he was not ready for.
“I’m sorry, I–” he sighed, rubbing at his face tiredly. “It was a misunderstanding and now I can’t get out of it.”
“What kind of misunderstanding? Ashton, come on, you’re not helping!”
“I was talking to my Mom and I was telling her about an event we did and then a dinner and then another thing, just… casually dropping your name in the conversation every 2 minutes or so because obviously it’s perfectly normal for me to talk about my PA when we’re working so closely together, but…” he took another deep breath, hanging his head low before glancing over at you again, red splotches appearing on his face from how frustrated he felt. “She didn’t know I fired Melody in January… and that you’re my PA now… and she thought that this new girl I’m suddenly talking about is actually my new girlfriend whom I did not introduce yet.”
“And you did not correct her on that…” you concluded, and Ashton shook his head, staring at the dashboard.
“Nooope. And she asked me if you would be able to join us for the holidays and before I knew it I’d already said yes…”
“Ash–”
“I just… I just wanted them to finally leave me alone!” he massaged his temple, a headache certainly starting to flare up from all the frustration he carried. “Every time I call home they are always, always asking me about my love life and I just– I hated how I always tell them that I don’t have anyone, how I don’t have time to date, and then… and then I panicked and I just said–”
“Ashton!” you raised your voice and that finally made him look at you, eyes big and maybe a little nervous, still chewing on his bottom lip. “I’m in, it’s fine.”
“It is? Yeah?” he perked up at your answer, desperation still lacing his voice. “You would do that?”
“Sure. After all, I’m your PA. It’s my job to sort out your things,” you took a little jab at him, and that made Ashton laugh a little, letting out the breath he was holding back.
“Thank you, Y/N. You really are saving my ass,” Ashton started pulling himself together, like he didn’t just have a nervous breakdown in front of you. “And of course you’ll be compensated for giving up your holiday for my sake.”
“We can talk about details later. I’ll schedule in a dinner for us, because we definitely need to talk about a lot of things…” you were already making a few notes for yourself before smiling at Ashton, opening the car door. “Do you feel like Italian or maybe something Asian-style for our first official date?”
“Really funny, Y/N,” a laugh hid in his voice as he rolled his eyes. “Surprise me?”
“Of course you would say that,” you shook your head, grabbing your things; after all, this was a weekly exchange between the two of you. “Alright, then I’ll see you on Monday if nothing comes up during the weekend.”
“Thank you again, really,” he gave you a little nod as you climbed out of the car, rolling the window down to call after you. “Have a good night, darling!”
You laughed at his attempt and waved him away, promising yourself that you’ll come up with a nickname for him as well so you can tease him in front of his family. If Ashton dragged you into this whole thing, the least you could do was to have some fun while fake dating your boss.
.
“Are you sure you don’t want to spend the night?” Ashton’s mother fussed with the lapels of his coat, not yet ready to let go of her son.
“We would really love to, but we both have early flights and the hotel is closer to the airport,” Ashton smiled at her, stopping her hands and instead holding them in his own. “It’s still a good hour until we arrive, and honestly, Y/N is not a morning person. Like, at all. And I really don’t want her to miss her flight now that we were able to get a last minute ticket.”
“It was really lovely spending time with you, Mrs. Irwin. Thank you for inviting me, truly, it was a pleasure,” you stepped next to them, letting her hug you as well as Ashton started saying goodbye to the rest of his family. “I really wish we could stay, but we really don’t have any other options.”
“I know, sweetheart. I’m grateful you’ve spent your holiday with us instead of your family, so I understand you want to be with them as well,” Anne Marie gave you another sweet smile, squeezing your hands just like Ashton did with her. “I’m so glad he found you. You complement each other perfectly. I’ve never seen my Ashton this happy, and I wanted to thank you for it.”
“Oh it’s… it’s nothing, really…” you stuttered at her words, suddenly feeling a little awkward; if only she knew that the whole thing was just a well-orchestrated show the two of you put together…
“Please, he looks at you with such adoration. Now I kinda understand why he was so nervous to bring you back home – he’s smitten with you, and there’s no way he would let anyone know that there is someone who has Mr. Big Boss wrapped around their finger,” she continued in a whisper, a twinkle in her eyes, like she was sharing a secret with you.
“Mom, please, don’t scare her away,” Ashton turned back to the two of you, laughing, his arm slipping around your waist. “We should go, darling. We still need to check in and all.”
“Sure, boo. Once again, thank you for everything. These last two weeks were incredible!”
“Please come back soon, both of you,” Anne Marie bid you goodbye one more time before you grabbed your bags and luggage, loading them into the car Ashton rented, then you were on your way back to the city.
Leaving two days earlier wasn’t in your plans, but right in the middle of your stay with Ashton’s family your mother called you up, asking if maybe you would be able to still visit them, even if it was just for a few days. You were ready to tell her that it was a really last minute invitation, and that you were kind of in the middle of something that actually involved your job and your boss, and really, you didn’t want to go and hear the latest family drama. But then that night when you told Ashton about it he was quick to realize that maybe you did want to go and see your family, and he pulled every possible string he could to get you a ticket.
“I’ll change your contact info to Mr. Big Boss,” you giggled, your head resting back against your seat as you looked at Ashton. “Though I kinda like Ashton Bear with the red heart.”
“You’re terrible. Was that really the best name you could come up with?” he groaned, sending you a quick smile as he drove down the road.
“Because Baby Shortcake and the cake emoji were so much better, you’re right,” your eyes rolled at the memory when you were both looking for his phone in your shared bedroom, finding it under the presents you’ve brought, your caller ID flashing across the screen. “How did I even become that?”
“It’s what you ordered for dessert on our third date,” he shrugged, his cheeks flushing pink. “I mean, on our date, when we were discussing everything and all.”
“When we were talking about coffee orders, and I might have confessed that I have a whole chart based on your moods and what kind of coffee you usually drink at that time? Because that was definitely a really good work date, and the absolute best strawberry shortcake I’ve ever had,” you smiled, a twinkle in your eyes. “You should definitely take me back for another dinner or something, I think I deserve it.”
“Only for the strawberry shortcake?” Ashton chuckled, but there was something else laced in his voice, something flirty and maybe hopeful.
“Definitely for the cake. But maybe for something else as well…” you let your answer linger between the two of you, not missing how Ashton tried to hide his smile in his scarf, mumbling a quiet ‘okay’ to you.
.
After two weeks of sharing the same bed it was a nice change that you were able to have one just for yourself, even though you were still sharing a room with Ashton. He told you to go ahead and take a shower while he sorted out some things, and you happily wrapped the robe around your body once you were done with your nightly routine. By that time Ashton had also come back and went to freshen up after you were finished, settling down next to you on the couch in his own robe. Before any of you could say a word someone knocked on the door and he quickly went to open it, appearing a moment later with a tray and two mugs.
“What’s this?” you smiled as you accepted the steaming cup, looking at your boss over the rim.
“Hot chocolate,” Ashton returned your smile, taking a small sip of his drink, licking the whipped cream off of his top lip. “I’m still in a Christmassy mood.”
“Yeah, me too. And our room definitely helps with that,” you nodded at the small tree in the corner along with the artificial fireplace in front of you, everything settling the mood for a perfect, quiet night you still had together – the very last one. “Though I really liked your Mom’s living room. It was really nice and cozy.”
“Yeah, it was… it was nice. Back at home. Thank you for coming with me once again,” Ashton stumbled through his words a little before looking at his phone, his lips twitching into a thin line before quickly shaking his head.
“You’re okay?” you did not miss his mood changing, and you thought something might have happened which caused it.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m good,” he gave you a forced smile, looking back at his mug, not really drinking it anymore. “Uhm… it’s midnight. You’re officially off duty, and no longer my girlfriend.”
“Oh,” you blinked at him a few times, realizing why his demeanour changed for a second to his usual boss one. “Yeah, of course. Thank you.”
Silence settled over the two of you as you both returned your attention to your hot chocolates, sipping on them quietly. You imagined that this moment would pass without any other thoughts, that once Ashton told you that your agreement has come to an end you would just fall back into your usual roles and act like nothing has happened in the last few weeks. But the truth was that you couldn’t forget about them: the dates you went on, the kisses you’ve shared, the vulnerable, intimate moments you witnessed from each other while you pretended to be lovers.
“You know…” you finally spoke after a few minutes. “I had so much fun during these two weeks with you. It was really lovely and it actually felt like… like something that Christmas with family really should be.”
“I really had so much fun with you too. Can’t remember the last time I felt like this,” Ashton’s mouth pulled into a little smile, nostalgia lacing his voice. “It was the first time that I– that I really wished I could stay a little longer.”
“I’m sorry you needed to leave because of me. You should have told me, I could have found a way to get here and catch my flight in the morning…”
“No, I– I wished that I could stay there… with you,” the confession finally slipped out of Ashton’s mouth, his eyes settling on you. “That you didn’t need to go home, and neither do I. That we would stay and just be together. Just a little longer.”
“I don’t have to go home if you don’t want me to,” you answered in a whisper, almost like you were scared that if you were any louder it would ruin the magic of the moment.
Ashton slowly put his mug down on the table in front of you before scooting closer and taking your cup as well, placing it next to his, eyes still trained on you. His palm curled around your jaw, your own hand sliding over his as he tipped your head forward, nose tracing yours for a moment before you felt his lips slowly press against your lips, soft and tasting so sweet. It was more than just the quick pecks you’ve exchanged in front of his family; a little moan escaped you at the kiss, and Ashton took that as a sign to tease his tongue against your bottom lip, taking your breath away for a second. Your free hand slipped onto his shoulder and up to the nape of his neck, fingers brushing through his curling hair to pull him closer, wanting to get lost in the kiss you’ve shared.
It was long minutes later when he finally pulled back a little, forehead resting against yours as he breathed deeply, the hot puffs of air tickling your skin. You felt a smile tug at the corner of your mouth, eyes still closed, the words softly falling from your lips:
“Hmm, a real kiss?”
“I would like to think they were all real,” Ashton chuckled, heat radiating from his cheeks, but the cheeky smile on his face gave him away.
“That’s why I needed to tell you to kiss me that very first time?” your fingers combed into his hair, tugging on his curls a little while pulling him back again, lips pressing together for another second.
“I’m not a damn fool…” Ashton mumbled against your skin, nuzzling his nose with yours. “Well, not anymore.”
His honesty made you laugh and you buried your face against his neck, stifling your giggles. Ashton wrapped his arms around you, keeping you close to his chest, palm rubbing up and down your back, something that he picked up during your time at his Mom’s house when you were cuddled up on the couch, watching Christmas movies together. You still remembered the first time you were forced to act like lovers and be all touchy with each other, and now it warmed your heart how naturally it came for the two of you.
“I’ve thought that the only reason why I asked you to come with me and pretend to be my girlfriend was simply because you’re my assistant, and you’re used to dealing with my shit,” Ashton sighed against your hair, his voice close to a whisper, and you held your breath as you listened to him. “I’ve told myself that whatever I was feeling during our dinner dates or quick post-work discussions was because it’s been a while since I had someone I could share anything with. Because I needed to pretend we’re together, and I needed to believe I have feelings for you. I told myself I’m not falling for you, that I cannot fall for you. But by the time we have arrived it was already too late…”
You pulled back just enough to look up at him again, foreheads touching, wanting to ask him something, but Ashton continued talking, his eyes sparkling in the colourful lights twinkling in the corner of the room.
“I think… I think I always had feelings for you. Maybe not as strong as now, but they were there. And every time we needed to act like a couple I just froze for a moment because I was fighting so hard to keep my feelings in check. And every time I just felt myself falling even more for you…” a little smile pulled at the corner of his mouth at his own confession, and you ran your fingers down his cheek, softly caressing it. “After those first few times… it was so easy, so comfortable – I liked that feeling with you, being comfortable. I’m not used to that with people.”
It wasn’t a question; it was a statement. And you did remember, every little moment from the past two weeks: all those times when you needed to face a new situation that required the both of you to put your boss–assistant relationship behind yourselves, get out of your comfort zones, and act like the loving couple you pretended to be. It made sense now, how Ashton always hesitated first, but then warmed up to you as time passed by. The long looks, the lingering touches, the unprompted little cuddles, the quiet moments shared in the morning. You could have acted like you always did, just two people having a work relationship. But somehow you always found yourselves close to the other.
“I was telling myself that I’m only feeling this because we’re pretending that we’re in love. That these things will pass soon, especially as we’re coming to the end of our agreement. Funny how I realized what I was really feeling by the time you have decided that you’ll go home to your parents. It made me realize that I might just lose my chance to tell you how I feel.”
“Well, that was… quite the confession,” you let out a little laugh, your own cheeks feeling warm as you cupped Ashton’s face in your hands. “Am I allowed to speak now?”
“Oh, shit, yeah! Of course,” Ashton groaned, trying to hide his blush from you, his dimples appearing as he smiled. “Sorry.”
“That’s okay. I know you’re good at motivational speeches,” you teased him, making him roll his eyes before looking back at you. “I liked whatever we had before we started fake dating. I love our work relationship, I love our dynamic. But truth to be told… it was really easy to fall in love with you. I always thought you were… decent and… handsome… definitely great humour. But I quickly told myself that I can either ruin this by having a crush on you, or you know… keep my job. And then you fired Melody…”
“…and you decided to keep your job,” he concluded, his voice sounding a little more quiet.
“I also knew that pursuing a relationship with you would be really difficult, seeing as you didn’t really have any breaks in the last few years. And I wasn’t sure how it could work out… PA by day, girlfriend by night? And anyway, I wasn’t even sure if you would like me like that.”
“Well, I wasn’t sure either… not until recently,” he said, nodding for you to continue.
“When you asked me to go on this trip with you, I– I told myself you were crazy. Then I realized I was also crazy for even just thinking about saying yes to your offer. But I thought it could be a fun way to spend Christmas if I’m not with my family, and it also kinda gave me the chance to pretend that you… that you like me. And I was gone from the moment I saw you at the airport, wearing your glasses and waiting for me with coffee… and it broke my heart that this would be only for two weeks.”
“That’s why you ended up saying yes to visiting your family, even though you didn’t want to do it before?” Ashton asked, brushing a few strands of hair away from your face.
“I had a moment when I felt really close to you, where I believed that this thing between us… it was real,” you confessed, eyes looking down. “And I felt that I might need a few days alone to sort out my feelings before going back to work with you, acting like nothing happened while we were here. Like we didn’t share the bed, we didn’t hold each other, and we definitely didn’t kiss.”
“Well, I don’t want to pretend that these two weeks never happened,” you felt him curl his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap before tipping your chin up, making you look into his eyes. “It’s the happiest I’ve been for a long time now. And I really want to hold onto this feeling. I really want this to be real, you and me.”
“What about our jobs?” you sighed, fingers tangling into his hair and brushing it back from his forehead. “Cause I want this, I want you, more than anything. But I don’t want to give up on you, not as my boss, and definitely not as Ashton.”
“We’ll just try and work it out when we’re back, okay?” he cupped your cheek, leaning closer to press his lips softly against yours. “We’ll schedule a work dinner at that restaurant you liked and talk about it over a strawberry shortcake.”
“You’re terrible,” you scoffed, pressing a smiley kiss back onto his lips. “Do I have to make the reservation?”
“Hey now, I know I’m bad at scheduling, and that’s why I have you, but I’m taking you on that date myself,” Ashton giggled, mumbling his words between more kisses. “It’s what a real girlfriend deserves.”
“Can I keep your contact info as Ashton Bear? With the heart?” you nudged your nose against his as you kissed, his fingers tightening on your hips. “If you’re my real boyfriend now?”
“Surprise me?” his voice turned into a moan, locking his arms around you, your body pressed against his chest.
“Of course you would say that.”
His giggle filled the air, hearty and full of happiness before picking you up in his lap and taking you to the bedroom. There were a lot of things forgotten that night: setting an alarm for the next day. Your robes and the other bed. Staying on your sides as you fell asleep. You both forgot who you were pretending to be and who you were supposed to be.
That night you were finally just two people who fell in love during Christmas.
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@mymindwide @fuckyeah5sostakemehome @suchalonelysunflower @talkfastromance4 @ashtonsunflower @in-superbloom @wiiildflowerrr @lovelywordsblog @heyitskelseaj @sadistmichael
#ashton irwin#ashton irwin x reader#ashton irwin blurb#ashton irwin fanfic#ashton irwin fluff#fiction time#christmas blurb fest 2022#afic: just fall in love with me this christmas
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WIP Wednesday
Thank you @jennaispunk for the tag.
I'm currently working on Elks, another Baseball Joel entry, and a totally self indulgent* piece where Joel takes you, Sarah and Sarah's friend Ellie (duh) to Disney World for Sarah's 16th birthday.
*I can't get the thought of Joel (discreetly it is a family destination) fucking someone on a balcony in the middle of the night while looking at the Castle. You know he's spending good contractor $$$ and getting two theme park view rooms at the Polynesian for his daughter's sweet 16.
Elks:
Two weeks, it’s only been two weeks, but it’s been two weeks of longing glances, shared stories over meals, quiet understandings, smart replies followed by laughter. Two weeks of thinking about him and missing him. You’ve wanted this since you saw him, the desire burning louder once he was no longer a handsome stranger. You’ve reached an ignition point, and Joel is right there with you, holding the match.
His hands grab your hips, you can feel him against you, his pants tenting against your core. Denim rubbing against denim as you grind against him.
Joel peppers kisses down your mouth to your chin, running his tongue down your neck, placing open mouth kisses against your collarbone. He explores you like he’s mapped his journey in his head before. You tip your head back and moan out as his hands drag up and cup your breasts. He licks his way back up your neck, your hands grab at his jaw, the desire in his eyes darkening them.
“Joel…” you breathe out.
“What is it sweetheart?”
“I—I want you.”
“Heh,” his exhale hits your lips as he puts his forehead against yours, “I want you too sweetheart.”
————
Baseball Joel:
“I am, yeah, I will be. I’m sorry, it just really hit me how long it’s been and I guess I’m just nervous about everything we have to do. I don’t want to lose you…” and at those words and the fear that gets planted inside your heart, you pull your fingers away from your cunt.
“We’re going to figure it out sweetheart. M’not losing you.” Joel follows you and unwraps his hand from around himself. “It has been long, but we’ll have almost a week together next week.”
“Five games?”
“Five games.” The softness of his voice and the reassuring smile he gives makes your stomach twist. The slow realization of your true feelings for him speeding up inside your heart.
“I’m sorry.” An apology, you’re almost embarrassed by your juvenility, missing your boyfriend so much you almost started to cry.
“Baby, you don’t have to apologize, believe me, I understand.”
“Did you still want to…”
“I’m only happy doing what you want to, sweetheart.”
“I want to show you how much I miss you.” Your hand snakes up your body to start petting the area between your breasts, the place where Joel always like to nuzzle his face in and smell your skin.
“Fuck, okay sweetheart.”
————
Disney World:
“So there’s a ride in that big ball?”
“Yep! It’s all about the past and the future,” Sarah leans forward with her phone to take a selfie of herself wearing Minnie ears without skipping a beat. “It’s called Spaceship Earth, and the whole ride is in it.”
“Mm.” Joel cocks an eyebrow. “Do we go to space?”
“Nope,” you smile as you apply sunscreen on your shoulders, Joel’s eyes watching your actions. “It’s educational.”
You notice how his hands tense at his sides as he watches you rub the lotion up your neck and around your chest. You love being able to spend so much time with Sarah and Ellie but by the end of the day, when you and Joel lock the door to the connecting room, that’s when the best part of vacation starts.
“I think it’s bull there’s no space in something called ‘Spaceship Earth’ if you ask me. Super disappointed by the name,” Ellie laments.
“Well, cheer up kid, it’s where we’re headed to now,” you say zipping up the backpack Joel’s carrying after putting your sunscreen away.
“Let’s go learn something then I guess,” Joel grabs your hand and leads the four of you through the crowd. You love how people part for him, the broadness of his shoulders standing out amongst the herd of fellow tourists.
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let's pretend
Maximus entered their dorm room and promptly threw himself on Cesare’s bed, shuffling the man’s books and laptop. “My life is over,” He moaned out, slinging an arm across his face. He waited a minute and then another before peeking out from beneath his arm expectedly. Cesare hadn’t even looked in his direction yet. He groaned again, loudly this time. “Ask me about it,” He demanded as he turned over onto his side and poked at his roommate’s leg. “Oh Max, please tell me all of your problems and how I can help,” He said, doing a poor rendition of Cesare’s tone.
“Oh Max, please tell me all of your problems and how I can help,” Cesare, his best friend in the whole world (besides his little brother that is) said in a flat, dull tone.
“Not the best delivery but we’ll work on it.” Max sat up and leaned over the bed, reaching out for his bag. He ruffled through it for a moment before pulling out a letter which he immediately handed off to Cesare. “I know we had a whole road trip planned for spring break.” One that they were leaving for in three days, Max had been packed for weeks. “but I’ve been called to the frontlines. My uncle wants me to fly out to Greece for spring break to work. It’s a whole fucking thing. Parties, meetings, the whole nineyards.” He prattled on with a roll of his eyes. “It happens every year and it’s horrible but that’s not the most horrible part.” This time he pulled out his phone, opened his home screen, and tapped a few times.
Max fell back on Cesare’s bed, a huff of air escaping from the motion. “Plus ones are invited so instead of a road trip what do you think about Greece? We have a vacation home there so we’ll stay there and the company will cover all of the expenses. I will have to work some of the time which sucks major dick. I was hoping my brother was coming so at least you’d have someone when I have to work but he isn’t coming. I’ll still have some time though and can fit in some sightseeing.”
“But here’s the thing,” Max continued before Cesare could agree or disagree. “And it isn’t a big deal but plus ones have to be significant others so if anyone asks we’re in a relationship and have been for a while. It’s not a huge deal but it’ll open a can of worms if I bring a friend when other employees can’t, you know how it is. There will be some events you’ll have to attend as my partner but we’ll be together for spring break this way and it’ll be fun. I promise it will be fun. Say yes.” He clasped his hands together, intertwining his fingers. “Please, please, please. Don’t make me go to Greece alone. Think of the trouble I’ll get into if I’m alone.”
He watched Cesare’s face with bated breath. Until he saw the twitch of a grin. Greece was a go.
______________________________________________________________
You suck but whatever. I’m bringing my boyfriend.
Quintus had read the text from Max a hundred times and it still didn’t make any more sense the hundredth time he read it than the first. Boyfriend? His brother didn’t have a boyfriend. His brother was as straight as they came. Unless he was going through a whole experimenting thing which was fine but a boyfriend? His brother had the biggest fucking mouth on the planet if he was seeing someone he would have told Quin immediately. He was an avid over-sharer and hadn’t met a boundary he didn’t immediately trample over. They shared everything. Well, no. Maximus shared everything. There was no way he was seeing someone and hadn’t told Quin. Just no way. Max may be hours away at college but Quintus could smell the bullshit coming from his brother.
Unless… his brother was exploiting the golden rule of their family business. Additional invites were reserved for family or significant others only and Max never did well alone. If Quin wasn’t going to Greece, he would be flailing trying to get someone else to go with him. That made more sense than him having a boyfriend. It was just like his brother to orchestrate a whole ass lie just so he didn’t have to be by himself. As the actual queer brother, it was wildly hilarious to Quin the lengths Max would go to. It was all too tempting now and Quin would never pass up this kind of opportunity to see his very straight brother pretend to be in a relationship with a man.
Quin booked his ticket so fast.
He hadn’t told anyone he was coming. Quin had felt this specific situation required the element of surprise. He wanted Max caught off guard, wanted him to know that his charade would need to be airtight since he was going to be around. Anticipation rolled off of Quin in waves. He could picture Max’s face, full of surprise and terror when he realized he had come. His uncle, well, he hardly gave a shit about what Quin did. He may even be happy that he was there to help give the illusion of the three of them being a perfect family and Quin would play along as long as it suited his needs.
Hours passed. Quin sat on his desk, feet up on the window sill as he watched and waited for Max’s arrival. He flicked the ash from his cigarette out the open window. He didn’t care so much about the hit of nicotine. The habit was born out of need. It not only pissed off his uncle but it always had a way of keeping his uncle far away from his bedroom. He did everything in his power to remind his uncle that he was more adult than a child.
He flicked the butt out of the window just as a taxi pulled up. From the second story, he couldn’t tell who was with Max but he watched as they paid the driver and dragged their bags into the house. Bits of their conversation rang out through the empty house. You can stay in Quin’s room since he’s not here. My uncle would probably prefer it but I’ll make a big fuss about it when he gets here. Just try not to move Quin’s stuff around too much. He’s feral about his things. They were coming up the stairs now. Max’s room was on the opposite side of his. He heard a single set of footsteps moving closer and closer until the doorknob turned.
Quin’s head snapped to the door as Max’s mysterious fake boyfriend appeared before him. He ID’d him instantly. Of course, it would be his roommate. Quin recognized him from his brother’s snaps and Instagram page. He hadn’t met Cesare yet but felt like he had from the way Max prattled on endlessly about him. Quin shifted his body as their eyes locked. Cesare’s out of surprise and Quin’s like a hunter who finally locked onto his prey. He leaned back, arms taunt as they held up the upper half of his body. “Hello,” He purred, relieved the first thing he had done when he got to the house was shower and change into a button-down, white linen shirt. The first four buttons had been conveniently left undone to expose his unblemished, milky skin. His hair was curling from the wash and the humidity in the air. It was still half wet, little droplets of water making bits of his shirt transparent. “Are we roommates for the next two weeks?” He nudged his chin over to the bed. “We’ll have to share but I promise to not hog the covers.”
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Don’t go looking for the man who will buy you flowers and jewelry, or surprise you with fancy vacations. Go looking for the one who buys you the hangers.
The other day, I had mentioned to my husband that I was feeling overwhelmed with all of my laundry, and I had also ran out of hangers.
“I’m feeling stressed, and I need to go get some hangers at some point this week. I can’t hang anymore clothes, until I have more.” I said to him, quickly.
After that, we both got into the car to head over to a family dinner.
As we drove towards my parent’s house, he stopped at the store, and said he needed to grab something.
I sat in the car, with our two young kids in the back asking “where’s daddy going?”
“I have no idea guys, just hold tight.” I said back, as I felt myself getting a little annoyed.
“Where is he? We have to go. We’re going to be late for dinner.” I thought to myself as I took off my seatbelt to get more comfortable while waiting.
A few moments later, my daughter shouted from the back “mommy, that’s a LOT of hangers!”
I looked out the window, and saw my husband carrying about 100 hangers.
He popped open the trunk, put them in there, and sat back in the drivers seat.
I just stared at him.
“I didn’t need hangers this instant, but thank you.” I said, as I felt a rush of emotions.
“I know, but I could tell you were getting stressed with the growing pile of your clothes, and thought I could help. Tonight, we’ll do your laundry together, and get it all hung up.” He said to me as he squeezed my hand.
It was in that moment, I realized I had been searching for his love in all of the wrong places, completely.
You see, my husband has never been one to come home with chocolates or flowers often, and it took me many years to appreciate the way he loves me.
Growing up as a little girl, I would watch movies and see the big gestures.
The surprise vacations.
The diamond necklaces.
The boombox over the man’s head, as he professed his love for the whole street to hear.
I was not taught about the subtle love.
The quiet love.
The “little” love.
The forever kind of love.
The kind of love where he sees you needing help, and does it without asking.
The kind of love where he knows you so well, he can go to the store and pick out all of your favourite snacks.
The kind of love where he knows your tricky coffee order, when sometimes you even forget it.
The kind of love where he got up with the baby at two in the morning, so you could rest.
The kind of love where he has seen you at your absolute worst, and chose to keep loving you anyways.
I was never shown that kind of love in movies, books, and TV.
I was always taught to look for the big gestures.
I was always taught to look for the flowers being brought home.
Because you see, my husband has brought me home flowers, but I couldn’t tell you when, or how it was done.
What I can tell you, is each and everyday he’s done little things, like this, to make my life a tiny bit easier.
Those flowers he brought, died quickly.
This type of love, lives forever.
Marry the man who doesn’t buy flowers often.
Marry the man who doesn’t come home with extravagant presents everyday.
Marry the man who will let you wait in the restaurant when it’s raining, and drive the car up to you, so you stay dry.
Marry the man who loves you in a quiet way.
For that is where the deepest, and more pure love can be found.
The quiet love.
The type of love where he just wants to make the things in your life, well, a little bit easier.
Marry the man who buys the hangers.
By: Caitlin Fladager
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Vacation
Two weeks after Flower Day, just a week before graduation, Willow got her scholarship letters. She was accepted in two! She's now considering leaving the Harris' garage and using the money to help her pay a small apartment for herself.
Leo and Marcos were about to have their final exams, so they could barely see each other except in between classes.
"My family will make a trip together this weekend. Wanna come?", asked Leo.
"Can't. My mom has some family stuff to sort out in another town and wants me along."
"I had an idea, but I need to wait for the pack release first. Did you know Summer 14th is Pride Day?"
Marcos was curious.
"Course I do! What's on your mind?"
"I heard San Sequoia has a great Pride Festival. My dad told me I can work with him and save money for the loading screens!"
"YES! I'm sure Dani will also love the idea. And Sid! And Ash! And Van! Let's invite everyone!"
Leo could barely listen to a word Mr. Morlind was saying... Soon classes would be over and he'd have a WHOLE week on vacation! He knew about someone else who would probably also love to hear about their Pride excursion.
Mols said she'd love it. Her mom wanted to go skiing but she'd rather die by Vlad.
"She made me organize Career Day for extra credit and I need some fresh air. Just so you know, I signed you up."
"Well", replied Leo, "if that means you're coming, I can find some fun in that!"
When they got home, both Moe and Leo had great news! Leo has been promoted to Speedrunner and Moe got to her branch selection. She got a unique opportunity and ended up on her path to stardom again! It seems like it doesn't matter the universe, Moe is destined to fame.
The Harrises landed in Lani St. Taz! They're staying the weekend at the Saphire Shores Resort.
"Won't this be too expensive, mom?"
"Baby, don't be silly...This isn't a real hotel, they don't exist in the game! We won't pay a thing, this is just a spa."
A well-deserved vacation... Being a legacy family ain't easy! Since they didn't pay for the stay, the family enjoyed the premises before having dinner.
It's dinner time, and the Harrises went to the best (the only) restaurant in Sulani!
"Thank you so much for this trip, guys! It's a great close to my High School Years!", said Willow.
"We're also celebrating Moe's promotion. She's famous now!" "
And Leo is ending his junior year!", Moe replied. "It's time you start thinking about your future, baby."
"To be honest, I don't know, mom. I've been working at the drama club, but Copperdale is too far away from Honeywood."
"We're not gonna live there forever, you know? Legacies are known for moving all around the SimNation."
"You should trust your gut, Leo. I'm sure the Watcher will find a way of helping your dreams come true." Leo didn't have all this blind faith.
"How can the Watcher know what to do, when I can't?"
"They made us cross universes to save the legacy. You'll be good!"
"I hope you're right, mom. I have just a few weeks left before my gen takes over."
"Watcher surely have something in store for you. Just keep on going through Live Mode and soon I know things will become clearer!"
After dinner, Leo vanished. Moe found him at a fishing spot nearby. "Can I sit here?"
"What if I'm not a good heir as you both? You had a Starlight Boulevard star, for woohoock sake! I don't think I can top that."
"Leo... You don't have to be like us. You're good just the way you are and doing the things you want to do. Legacy gens are different."
"I acted, and I now work with social causes because that's what makes me happy; same with your dad and cooking", Moe reassured him.
"And what about the drama, and the interesting plots?"
"Oooh, 'The Drama'! Not every legacy will be as messy as a Swan or a Lacey. And that's ok."
Moe gave her big baby a loving hug.
"Whatever your story is, you'll be loved and there will always be someone who enjoys your path. I promise."
Next morning, after an... um... eventful night, Moe had news for the family.
Breakfast by the sea, the perfect moment to break the news!
"Family, we're having a spare Harris! The first legacy infant is due to fall!"
"Another one, thank you!"
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So I made my boss cry today
Innnn the good way. And I have been suppressing my increasing rage level most of this week so I suppose it *COULD* have been ‘In the bad way’,
For some context - I work for a large national organization and my job is sort of a regional manager/executive assistant/IT manager/Standard Operating Proceedure writier/trainer hybrid. I have my own office, am not monitored, prioritize my own work etc. etc. However it’s a lot of work, MILES away from Hell Job but....
Let me tell you about the week we’ve been having.
SOOOOO. First off - we’re already a small group, but we’ve had several people off sick extensively, someone just gone on Pat Leave, one manager (ie: my big boss) on holiday, and we are stretched THIN.
I was sick myself last week for like a half day and dragged myself back in the following day. Anyway - we’re a small team to begin with so when we get cut it’s a big deal.
This week because of the holiday weekend two weeks ago which at the time was great because we’re a federal organization meant we had both the Friday AND Monday of the Easter weekend off - but we of course made up for it this week...a week where as mentioned we were drastically understaffed at our level.
So at this level it’s a very very weird space where you can tackle a problem, get it resolved and everything seems like you can breathe a moment and then - bam - there’s something else and you’re off and running - it was like Murphy’s Law. *goes to bathroom. - Comes back.- 9 zoom messages + 10 e-mails with some new crisis --- ‘FUCKKKKK,,,,’’ New Rule: Do NOT leave desk for fear of invoking crisis* Anyway - so today my secondary in his region is sick so that meant big boss (prime for my region) is covering the one for other big boss who is on vacation and me (prime for my region) covering his ON TOP OF all the stuff here (and we’re a big office with an adjacent clinic soooooo if regional things like training are going to happen, they’re going to happen HERE)
Now - I like training newbs in the program. Mostly they’re younger-to-middle-aged people, sometimes higher ed students doing part time so e-(redacted) is not a stretch for them to pick up on, even if they’re international. They’re used to a mobile phone and remote work probably,
But there’s a few... I do not envy my poor poor partner in adjacent region who NORMALLY has to deal with this ....person. Not a week goes by that we do not hear this person’s name...well anyway I was VERY acutely aware of why. Well anyway - this said we get through this out the other side without me holding anyone’s head underwater until the last bubble bloops or throwing anything out my office window (It’s on the top floor it would be VERY satisfying) ...and there’s these little recognition award things you can give out - for going above and beyond - so I sent one to my boss because like I said she did a really good job keeping everything together and on track when we were scrambling the whole time. Anyway she comes to my office and was just kind of teary and thanked me for that as she was so worried about having to handle both big sites on her own like that and that it meant a LOT coming from me as they hired me and pretty much had to throw me into the deep end (and have apologized for having to do that - speaking of little recognition awards - ) since I made it look easy.
So yep I made my boss cry. (This is why I don’t share my private life with my colleagues cause the star awards things? I got 8) However on that sort of nice note, I definitely have some left over trauma response from Hell Job because pretty much the spiral I was going down was just starting to feel the same kind of frustration I felt at the Hell Job where I just felt so overwhelmed by everything that the little things were compounding and there just seemed like chaos was everywhere so yeaaaaah. And somehow I can’t do the thing where I say ‘this is someone else’s problem’ if it just sits there and sits there I wind up doing it and that soothes my need for order but DOESN’T do wonders for my anger. But I killed it this week and I’m going to enjoy my weekend. I can finish submitting my tax return monday night thank YOU very much.
#work stuff#actually a good end to the week#personal#mentions of hell job#i don't rage quit#i rage dig in my heels and get shit done
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A Complete 180 : ep180
Kudos to Beri. Her April Fools stunt brought Cheyenne and I together, and now her Nepenthe surprise has coerced Cheyenne into joining us in Europe.
Cheyenne’s change of heart about the summer Mediterranean trip is good for everybody. It’s good for Beri, because she’ll have her best girlfriend at her wedding. It’s good for Henrik, because he’ll have a happy bride. It’s good for Me, because Floody and Autumn won’t have to treat me as the fifth wheel. But ultimately, it’s good for Cheyenne.
On Sunday afternoon as we are on her porch and I’m kissing her goodbye for the week Cheyenne tells me “It’s going to be tough once school starts in the fall. This trip will give me a chance to relax and reset. I think it’ll actually be good for me.”
I agree. Her head will be in the right place when school starts. Plus … it’s going to be an awesome vacation.
…
Wednesday morning I’m practicing foam art in my cappuccino when the front door swings open. It’s Floody. His bandages are gone and he’s looking human(ish) again. My foam art experiment isn’t going too well. The attempted fern leaf looks like big flappy labia.
Floody: Looks tasty!
He fishes the Nutella out of the cupboard then pushes me aside so he can make his signature breakfast of champions “Kurt Vonnegut” drink.
Me: What brings you to Point Reyes Station on a Wednesday morning amigo?
Floody: This pregnancy is doing my head in, and I just need to talk a few things out.
Me: Are you excited?
Floody: I am.
Me: Are you going to raise kids in the city or move out to the ‘burbs like me?
Floody: We’ll stay in the city. San Fran still has a small neighborhood feel, even though it’s a big city.
Me: Autumn will be a great mom.
Floody: Absolutely. But that’s why I’m here. If I’m going to be a dad, I have to make some changes.
Me: Such as?
Floody: Well, just growing up myself. I just killed the Ducati. I was thinking about taking a break from motorcycling for a bit and holding off on buying another one.
Me: Have you ridden since your crash?
Floody: No.
Me: Go get your shit on, we’re going for a ride.
Floody: No see, that’s the whole point. There’s a baby growing inside of Autumn and I think to be a good dad, I should probably be a little more responsible.
Me: Get. Your. Shit. On. We’re going for a ride. They repaved the road all the way out to Point Reyes.
I grab the coffee cup out of his hands and pour it into the sink before storming angrily out of the kitchen and toward the garage. By the time Floody has his helmet on, I’ve got my superbike out of the garage alongside the scrambler, both idling and ready to roll.
Me: Choose your weapon.
Floody: First time back, I’ll take the scrambler.
Me: Wrong. Choose again.
Floody: Dude, I don’t think my wrists can take the superbike yet. I’ll take the scrambler.
Me: You’re taking the Panigale.
Floody: Calm the fuck down man. I get what you’re trying to do.
Me: No you don’t.
I jump on the scrambler and tear out of the driveway at full throttle. He doesn’t like to follow me, his Dangerous Dave personality is far too alpha for that, so I run the stop sign at the gas station and force him to give chase illegally.
Steve Prefontaine once said of running “The best pace is a suicide pace, and today looks like a good day to die.” How apropos.
I’m pushing the little scrambler as hard as I can. The speedometer says 120 when we pass through the 25mph zone in Inverness. I can see Floody flashing his headlights at me to slow down but I ignore him.
What was once Mr Toad’s Wild Ride, is now a repaved masterpiece. A twenty mile strip of twisted ribbon tarmac from the intersection of Pierce Point all the way to Point Reyes. I’m pushing so hard, that there is a VERY high probability that I’ll die from a deer or elk strike. But I don’t care. If this is going to be my last ride ever, I’m going to the bitter edge of sanity. I’m going to see what this motorcycle is made of. I’m going to see what I’m made of. But, most importantly, I’m going to show Floody what he’s made of.
Riding out to Point Reyes is like driving straight out into the Pacific Ocean. Halfway to the point the fog rolls in and the temperatures drop about 30 degrees. It’s bone chilling and the sightlines are terrible.
I enter a flow state. At this pace, my brain abandons any spare thoughts. I’m no longer trying to teach him a lesson, or prove a point. I’m just trying to stay alive and all processing power is directed toward perfectly apexed corners and full throttle accelerations between corners.
30 minutes after it begins, the insanity ends in the parking lot at Point Reyes. Floody rips off his helmet and begins yelling at me.
Floody: ARE YOU FUCKING INSANE?!
Me: What’s your name?
Floody: What?
Me: I said, what’s your fucking name?
Floody: You know my name!
Me: You’re goddamn right I do Asshole! But I want to hear you say it.
Floody: My name is David Flood.
I lift up Flood by the collar of his jacket and I’m screaming at him at the top of my lungs.
Me: YOU ARE DANGEROUS DAVE! THAT IS WHO YOU ARE! IF YOU GIVE THAT UP, YOU’RE NOTHING! YOU’LL BE A MISERABLE SHELL OF YOUR FORMER SELF AND IN TWO YEARS AUTUMN WILL BREAK UP WITH YOU AND SHE’LL RAISE YOUR CHILD ALONE! … Now, I’m going to ask you again “What is your name” and if you answer anything other than “Dangerous Dave” this parking lot is going to turn into a crime scene. Understand?
Floody nods his head and I let him go.
Me: Now get on your bike. I’ll buy you breakfast at Station House. Shy is working this morning.
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It’s starting to sink in that my grandpa may pass soon this year and I am struggling.
Earlier this year, my parents started planning for the whole family to vacation in Taiwan, mostly for fun but also to spend time with our maternal and paternal grandparents; they have not met my nephew yet so it’s also an opportunity for them to meet their great-grandson. My partner hasn’t been to Taiwan since 2020 and is really looking forward to going again. My SIL’s family also wanted to go so since they’ve never been to Taiwan so it’s turned into a big extended family trip.
About a month ago, my maternal grandpa had a stroke and my parents left for Taiwan early to help him with the doctors and take care of my maternal grandma. My parents kept us updated on his condition and things had seemed promising immediately after operation, when he had been discharged from the ICU to recover in the main hospital, but the latest update was that he was struggling to breathe on his own and had to go back to the ICU for at least 3 weeks. From the way my mom was talking, if he still can’t breathe on his own after that, we don’t want to extend his suffering.
I couldn’t sleep last night thinking about different scenarios. What if he passes before we get there and I’m not able to say goodbye? What if he passes while we’re there and we’re not in the right headspace to be good hosts for my SIL’s family? What if he passes after I come back to the US and I’m unable to attend his funeral? I can’t decide which one would be the most preferable because they’re all terrible.
It doesn’t help that my maternal grandpa is the grandparent I feel closest with. My paternal ones have always treated me like I’m not really their grandchild because they’re EXTREMELY old school and think daughters are destined to marry out of the family so why care about them. My maternal grandparents knew this and made special effort to make me feel loved, especially my grandpa. It was my grandpa who took us to activities I wanted to go to and secretly bought me extra treats when my parents and brother weren’t watching. As someone who has always struggled with finding a sense of belonging, I really appreciate my grandpa and the little things he did for me to make me feel special and part of the family.
I don’t know how I’m going to be remotely productive at work before I leave for Taiwan. We’re also hosting out-of-town friends this weekend and next and I have to keep it together and not be a total crying mess while they’re here. It’s going to be really hard.
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Keep Warm
Pairing: Ari Levinson x f!reader
Word count: 3.9k (lmaoooo sry)
Warnings: 18+ minors DNI, unprotected sex, we love a keeping warm trope, size kink if you squint
Author's note: this is for the Happy Hoelidays 2021 challenge by the wonderful @drabblewithfrannybarnes, @stargazingfangirl18, and @navybrat817! This was my first "challenge" and I had a lot of fun putting this together! Big thank you to @mjolnir-steve for beta-ing, giving me some great ideas, and putting up with me when I was too busy being thirsty for Ari to actually write sometimes 😂 comments, feedback, and reblogs are always welcome! I hope you enjoy~
After a long flight and an only slightly shorter drive did you finally see the cabin at the end of the road. The official start to your break, a drink in front of the fireplace, was just a few minutes away. The lowering sun made the sky a pretty orange as it stretched out behind the mountains, a few dark clouds creeping in from the distance. It was going to snow later and you wanted to make sure everyone was settled before it started. You figured you would be the last of the crew to arrive, so you were a bit surprised when you pulled up next to the only other car in the driveway. Maybe some people carpooled? You had no clue what anyone drove anymore, it had been well over five years since you had seen anyone who agreed to this little holiday gathering cooked up by Nat and Clint. Holidays were never really your thing, but it was a good excuse to get away from work and take a real vacation to catch up with some friends. Just as you were pulling your suitcase out of the trunk of your rental, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket, finally catching a signal.
Natty: Hey babes! So a slight change of plans... Clint and I ended up missing our flight and due to the storm headed that way we’re not going to be able to make it for another day or so. But don’t worry! We’re coming. You’ll just have to hang with Ari until then ;) x
Shit. What a great way to start your vacation, alone in a house with the guy you hardcore crushed on in college who barely knew you existed. You took a deep breath and quickly replied.
T: I think I can handle myself for 24 hours 😒 You kids have a safe flight! x
You shook your head at yourself for suddenly being so nervous and made your way up the steps. A lot can happen in five years. Maybe he’s married now, or at least in a relationship? Well, you were going to find out soon enough and you knocked on the door.
“I was starting to think you all forgot about this week! Finally I’m not the only one he‒ oh hey, Teacup.” Ari's boisterous greeting softened once he realized it wasn’t his old roommates. You were absolutely not expecting to hear that nickname again. One pottery class in college and you were gifting people mugs and tea sets left and right because you couldn’t afford any other presents for birthdays that year. You don’t remember if he had ever referred to you by that before, or at all, really. Your heart pounded in your chest and you cleared your throat before returning his smile.
“Hey, Ari. Long time, no see. You hear from Nat and Clint? They missed their flight and are gonna be a day or two late with that snow coming.” You fiddled with the bottom of your coat as you looked up at him. His hair was long and luscious as ever, maybe even a bit longer, but now he had a thick beard to match it. It was a very good look for him, to say the least.
“Of course they did. Steve said Buck decided to drive the whole way, so they’re coming in later, too.” He rolled his eyes and chuckled. “Guess it’s just you and me for now. Go get unpacked and I’ll throw some more wood on the fire.” He stepped back into the cabin to allow you entrance and headed for the living room.
The beautiful wooden structure looked like the holiday section of the craft store had thrown up all over it, surely courtesy of Nat’s sister who lived nearby. You made your way upstairs to the bedrooms and ventured into the room at the end of the hallway. After unpacking and changing out of your travel clothes, you came down the stairs to see Ari splayed out on the couch, ever the king of manspreading. You entered the living room and perched on a cushy chair next to the couch, taking in the full festive atmosphere. “Yelena really did a number on this place, didn’t she? The cheerful little elf.” You chuckled and smoothed out the blanket draped over the arm of your chair.
“Still not a fan of the holidays, then?” Ari sat up a bit and tilted his head while looking at you. “I remember you being our resident grinch once the decorations started going up.” Was his gaze really on you for as long as it felt like it was? You needed a drink.
“Nope. It’s why I came out here to see you guys, actually. To get away from my roommate turning the place into a winter wonderland while her parents came to visit. Guess I didn’t escape after all.” You stood from your seat and padded over to the well-stocked bar Clint had promised everyone. “Can I get you something?”
“Oh, so you didn’t come because you missed all of us? I’m hurt, Teacup!” Ari laughed and clutched his chest, feigning pain. “I’m just excited to be back home for the holidays, to see you guys. Getting all nostalgic over us doing the holidays our way.” He watched you cross the room. It had been a while since he had last seen you, but you looked good as ever. The sweater you wore hung loose, falling off a shoulder and stopped just above your ass which was delightfully on display thanks to your choice of leggings. The little fuzzy socks on your feet just made you look even cuter. “If your taste is still the same as it was back in the day, I'll have what you’re having. And served with one of those pretty smiles, please.”
He flashed you a big, goofy grin as you rolled your eyes and handed him a glass, the smile you were trying to fight tugging at the corner of your mouth. Is he really flirting with you right now? “I’ll call this one ‘Oh the Who-manity’ to be seasonally appropriate.” This was easily the most attention he had ever given you at one time. You took a large swig of your drink, the alcohol burning the back of your throat and helping to clear your head. He was always a flirt, typically with other girls, but he was probably just being friendly since it had been so long.
“So you haven’t seen the others since we graduated, either?” You took a reasonably-sized sip this time and sat on the opposite end of the couch, turning to face him.
Ari shook his head and ran a hand through his hair before mirroring your position, “I haven’t. Been too busy with all of the diving stuff. This is my first break in a while. It'll be great to see everyone.” He raised his glass towards you. “It’s good to see you.” He smiled as you leaned forward to clink yours against it.
“You, too.” You peered into your beverage for a moment, swirling the liquid around and doing your best to not get lost in those stupidly pretty blue eyes in front of you. “So you’ve been doing all of your diving in wonderful warm places and you decided your vacation is going to a place where it’s about to snow?” you teased and gestured to a window. The sun had almost disappeared from the sky but illuminated it just enough to show snowflakes dancing in the air.
“Believe it or not, I do miss seeing some snow. But I will have to get used to trying to keep warm again.” He winked and adjusted the collar of his flannel. Sure, he joked about being cold, but you were already warming him up just fine. There was never really an opportunity for the two of you to be alone all those years ago. You met because you were friends with his roommates, so you were always there to see them when you were over, but now he really had a chance to look at you. He’d always found you attractive, but seeing you so relaxed, glowing in the light of the fireplace, confirmed his suspicion that he would do just about anything to see you under or on top of him. He had a funny feeling you wouldn’t exactly say no to him, either.
Your belly felt warm at that wink. “I’m sure you’ll manage.” You inwardly cringed, hoping he didn’t think you were trying to deflect him or anything. He used to make you so nervous, you just didn’t know what to do with yourself.
“I could, but it would be a lot more fun with some company.” The tension between you was palpable at this point, and your heart hammered in your chest. He was just ridiculously handsome - the thick hair and beard, those blue eyes sparkling with mischief, the broad shoulders and chest that made his flannel shirt pull taut. You were dying to get your hands on him, but you just couldn’t. It was too overwhelming right now.
“I’ve been traveling all day, so I think I’m going to call it an early night.” You downed the remainder of your drink and stood up into a big stretch, raising your arms above your head. “Good night, Ari. Stay warm.” You threw him a wink over your shoulder as you headed to your room.
Your entire body was still on fire by the time you had finished getting ready, so you changed into just an oversized t-shirt for sleep. Pulling yourself under the thick blankets, you groaned at the thought of what you and Ari could be doing right now. Were you chickening out? Were you teasing him? Probably a bit of both, in reality. Heavy footsteps came up the stairs soon after you settled into bed and you heard a door click shut close by. You must have picked the room next to his. Exhausted from the combination of a long day of travel and the stress and horniness of being alone with your college crush who had become extra flirty, you quickly nodded off into dreaming about all the places that glorious beard could go, swearing you could hear soft moaning.
The bright sunlight poured through the window, uncomfortably bright even through your closed eyelids. The more awake you became, you realized how cold your nose was. Your body was still toasty warm under the heavy blankets but the air around you was much colder than it had been last night. Did the heat go out? Was that music what you thought it was? The high you were riding from last night was quashed the second the cold air hit you when you slipped out from under the covers, the cheery music blasting from downstairs not helping your mood, either. You stepped into a pair of joggers and fuzzy slippers and pulled a hoodie over your thin t-shirt. You padded downstairs in desperate need of caffeine.
“Good morning! The heat is out and there’s at least two feet of snow outside, isn’t it the most wonderful time of the year?” Ari sang along to the song playing on the turntable in the living room. He was wearing a different flannel shirt today, dark jeans, and his hair was a little tousled from sleep.
You groaned and made your way over to the coffeemaker, pouring yourself a cup from the half-full pot. “It’s freezing and you’ve decided to further hurt me with this music. That’s mean, Levinson.” You fixed the coffee to your liking and cradled it in your hands to warm your digits.
“Tis the season to be jolly, T. You’re not doing a very good job.” He adjusted one of the hanging decorations and grinned at you.
“I would be a lot more jolly if I were warm.” You grumbled into your mug, watching the steam swirl around in the cold air. “Aren’t you cold?”
“I managed to keep myself warm just fine, like you said to. Plenty of nice thoughts to help me out.” He winked and gestured over to the fireplace. “Yelena said someone will come by to take a look at the furnace, but they’ll have to wait until the roads are cleared which will probably take a while since we’re so far out. At least we have the fireplace.”
“Are you really getting back at me for calling it an early night and not helping you keep warm?” You narrowed your eyes at him and scurried over to the living room, yanking a throw blanket off the couch and plopping yourself right down on the floor in front of the flames. “I am only leaving this spot for food and drink.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m just suddenly feeling very festive!” Ari chuckled and flipped the record, beginning a new set of joyous songs, much to your dismay. “And it looks like you’re the one who could use some warming up now. Anything I can do to help?” He took another sip of his coffee and sat down beside you. How was he not freezing right now? Then you thought back to him being one of those guys who would wear shorts until the first snow of the year.
You grumbled at his cheery and innocent act and downed the rest of your coffee. Opening the blanket cocoon you had wrapped around yourself, you gestured for him to join you in it. You regretted backing out of things last night. You needed to get over yourself. Ari quickly pulled the blanket off of you, causing you to yelp at the cold air rushing over you. He swung the blanket around his shoulders like a cape and sat behind you, wrapping his arms and the blanket around you and pulling you against him.
“Now, isn’t this better?” He murmured into your shoulder and stretched his legs on either side of you, effectively surrounding you with his warmth. It felt nice to have you in his arms like this, never having held you before. He was worried he had come on too strong last night and didn’t want to scare you off, but you kept flirting back, so he tried going a goofy and playful route today.
Your heart skipped a beat as you felt yourself getting wrapped up in his embrace. “Much better. If you wanted to cuddle so badly, you could have just asked instead of torturing me with these festivities.” You shifted back and forth to get more comfortable and wiggle yourself closer to his warmth.
Ari stifled a groan as he felt your hips inch up his inner thighs, his cock starting to harden at your proximity, and he instinctively wrapped his arms tighter around your middle. “Well, I think you did a fine job teasing me last night and I had to get you back a bit.” He rocked back and forth with you, pushing his hips against your ass as much as he could from that angle.”You want to know what I thought about to keep myself warm last night?”
You couldn’t believe this was happening. It was one thing to be flirting a little and making jokes but to be wrapped up in Ari’s arms with him ready to tell you his dirty thoughts was an entirely different game and that ball of nerves and arousal rolled around your belly again. “I’d love to.”
“You see, I was torn between imagining you bent over the arm of that chair while I pounded as many orgasms out of you as you could take,” he nudged his nose against the side of your neck, letting his warm breath ghost over your skin, “or having you slowly ride me on the couch in front of the fire and edge yourself for as long as possible.” He hummed and ground his now fully erect hardness against you, his lips skimming the shell of your ear. “What do you think about that, Teacup?”
"I think you should get your ass onto the couch right now." You said breathlessly, your arousal beating out your nervousness. The chuckle that Ari let out made his beard tickle the skin on the side of your neck. You hummed at the chaste kiss he placed just behind your ear before standing up. Once he was situated on the couch, you climbed atop his meaty thighs and pressed yourself as close to him as possible. His cerulean irises were thin rings around his blown pupils and you never wanted him to stop looking at you like that. You thrust your hands into his thick hair, something you had been dying to do since you met him, and crushed your lips together.
"So you're more feisty now? I like it, T.'' Ari mumbled against your mouth as he slid his hands up your shirt and hoodie to softly squeeze your sides. He licked at your lips searching for entrance that you quickly granted. Your skin felt so soft under his rough hands, and the way you rolled your body against his was addictive.
Your body felt alight under Ari's hands, just him smoothing them up and down your back and sides was driving you crazy. You grasped at the bottom of your hoodie and pulled it over your head, taking your t-shirt with it and leaving your chest bare to him. Before you could register how cool the air was against your breasts, his warm hands cupped them, rolling your already sensitive nipples between his fingers. "Oh, Ari…" You ground yourself down harder against the bulge in his sweatpants and continued to card your hands through his hair, gently scratching your nails against his scalp.
"Already love your sounds, T. Can't wait to hear 'em all." He broke the kiss to dip his head down and pull a nipple into his mouth. You purred in delight and your grip briefly tightened on his hair, causing him to moan.
As he lavished your breast in attention with his mouth, you did your best to unbutton his flannel shirt, revealing his deliciously well-built torso. You ran your fingers through his chest hair and squeezed his massive pecs, relishing in the deep moan you pulled from him. "You've got some nice sounds yourself." You dipped your head down to run your tongue along the shell of his ear.
Without warning, he stood up, causing you to emit a surprised squeak as you wrapped your legs around his waist. He held you tight against him as he reached beneath you to hook a finger into the waistband of his pants and pull them down along with his underwear. You felt his cock spring up and hit your clothed ass and you moaned, gripping onto him tighter with your legs. "If you keep me wrapped up like this, I can't get those pants off…" Without another word, you released your legs and let him slowly slide you down his body. The second your feet touched the floor, you shimmied out of your joggers and panties. You both took a minute just to look at each other, your eyes trailing over every curve and angle. He always looked good to you, but having him naked, hard, and soon to be inside you was something else entirely. You weren't even sure all of him was going to fit, but you'd be damned if you weren't going to try. Ari collected your hand and led you forward and he sat back on the couch, pulling you back onto his lap.
You wasted no time in dragging your nearly dripping core back and forth over his cock, moaning at the sensation. As you slid back, Ari pressed his length against your belly, picturing how deep he'd be seated inside you. "Think you can take it all, T? I bet it'll be a real snug fit."
As much as you wanted to take the time to explore each other's bodies, you didn't want to wait any longer. You sat up a bit, hovering just above him as he teased his thick head through your soaked folds. You braced your hands on his big shoulders and slowly sunk yourself down on his length, mewling as he stretched you out.
"Ari…" You stilled once you were fully seated in his lap, his thick cock making you feel fuller than you ever had before. Your hands slid from his shoulders to his chest, your fingertips digging into plush muscle. After a moment of adjusting, you gently rolled your hips forward, eliciting moans from both of you.
"See? I knew you could take it. So tight and perfect. Like you were made for me." Ari found your hips and kneaded the soft flesh of your ass with his large hands. "You feel so fuckin' good, T."
His words just made you needier and you finally raised your hips and slammed yourself down on him. "Love how you feel, Ari. So big." You bounced yourself on his cock, your fingers gripping his pecs tighter as you watched his head roll back with pleasure. As much as you wanted to bring his dream to life and edge yourself, you were already so close, each time he entered you his head rubbed against your g spot just right. Your walls squeezed him as you drove yourself closer to your peak.
"Love how your pussy is just pulling me in, so wet and tight." Ari slipped a hand around to your front, palm pressing just above your pubic bone and thumb lazily rolling over your clit. "I can feel you're close. It's okay, darlin'. You can come. I've been dreaming about seeing this for so long I'm not gonna make you wait."
Just a few more strokes of his thumb over your clit threw you over the edge. You keened, your head falling back as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through you and you clenched around his cock repeatedly. "Oh fuck, Ari. God, you feel so good." You ground your hips down against him, wanting to make the pleasure of your release last longer.
"Fuck, darlin', this pussy is so perfect." Ari grunted as he snapped his hips up into you, enjoying the fact he could lift you off the couch with his force. "Gonna need you to keep me warm every night we're here."
"This cock feels so good, baby. I'll keep you warm." You moaned, reaching behind you to gently fondle his balls with your fingertips. "Need to watch you come apart and fill me up, Ari. Wanna be full of you all week." You pinched his nipple with your free hand and hummed in delight as he gripped your hips tighter as he drove into you. Just a few more thrusts and Ari was shouting your name, his bruising grip pulling you down on him so he could spill himself as deep in you as possible. You collapsed against him, your chests moving together with labored breath.
After a moment, he gently rolled you onto your back, both of you groaning as he slid himself out of you. You watched him stand and cross the room, your eyes dancing over the wide expanse of his back and down to his equally muscular ass and legs. He quickly returned with a warm washcloth to clean you up and pressed a sweet kiss to your lips. "How's that for keeping you warm, T?"
Tag list: @barnesafterglow, @sweetdreamsbuck, @bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky, @christywantspizza, @midnightf, @justile, @tincanfics
#iva writes#happy hoelidays 2021#happyhoelidays2021#ari levinson#ari levinson fanfiction#ari levinson fic#ari levinson smut#ari levinson x reader#ari levinson x you
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Here’s why the Supernatural Series Finale Sucked
(AND IT REALLY ISN’T JUST BECAUSE CAS/MISHA WASN’T IN IT)
First of all, I’d like to state, that this perspective is coming from someone who has watched, invested in, and dissected this show for 15 years. I’ve tried to rationalize and justify every single decision each of the main characters made throughout the years, and I’ve always tried to make sense of each of their story arcs from a “bigger picture” standpoint as each season progressed.
Anyway, before I can properly explain why the finale sucked, let me quickly take you through 15 seasons by segregating them into 3 eras, because you can’t really comprehend what Supernatural is about and what it’s become without going through how it tried to expand its universe.
SEASONS 1-5: THE KRIPKE ERA
Now, we all know that Kripke was always set in wrapping up Sam and Dean’s story in 5 seasons, and he did just that.
So, in this era, Supernatural is about two brothers who set out on a journey to fulfill “the family business”. They hunt mythical monsters that terrorize the world, while battling the monsters within themselves. Their ultimate “big bad” is an apocalypse.
Towards the end of this era, we find out that Sam and Dean are actually a parallel to Biblical characters who are brothers turned rivals. And that Sam and Dean’s destiny is to go up against each other.
However, as a dynamic, they have always been about making their own choices, choosing free will, and having a brotherly bond that can power through against any obstacle at any given day.
So, this era is neatly wrapped up with its finale. The characters grow, and get justified endings.
Dean, a man who thinks of himself as two things: 1. Sam’s older brother and protector; and 2. Daddy’s blunt little instrument.
He’s spent his whole life believing that that was his only purpose, and he knew that the only ending he’ll get would either be a bloody death fulfilling his duty to the family business; or laying his life on the line to save his brother.
Dean gets the ending he thought was never possible for him, something he thought he could never deserve. After years of living and dying for his family, he gets a shot at having an apple pie life--to settle down with a nice girl, raise a kid in a house with a white picket fence. With Sam gone, Dean’s responsibility now is to himself.
Sam, on the other hand, never wanted any part of it, because he wasn’t groomed the way Dean was, and because thanks to Dean, Sam wasn’t traumatized or forced into growing up too quickly the way Dean was.
So Sam aspires for a normal life, and works the cases with Dean so he can maybe get some semblance of it, when everything they set out to kill are laid to rest.
Ultimately, Sam performs a selfless act for his brother, who has given up everything for him, and for their cause--to save the world.
The journey is this: Dean sacrifices everything to save Sam, and Sam sacrifices himself so Dean could live.
Apart from being Dean’s “savior” and guardian angel, Castiel’s role in this era is to serve as a mirror to Dean’s journey. Castiel goes from being heaven’s foot soldier, following “God’s orders”; to an angel who learns to choose and feel for the first time in his existence.
After they realize that they’re both daddy’s blunt instruments, Dean starts choosing his own path for himself, and convinces Castiel to join him. Castiel stops following heaven, and starts following Dean.
In the end, with his newfound understanding of the world thanks to Dean, Castiel goes back to heaven to reform it.
We’ve resolved the biblical arc, and the character journeys.
SEASONS 6-10: THE SPIN-OFF ERA
So this is where the show realizes how vast its universe can be, so it tries to expand it by tapping into uncharted lands and experimenting with it.
They take on heaven, reform hell, explore purgatory, have the angels fall, turn Dean into a demon, and kill Death.
Dean and Sam recognize their codependency, and try to rise above it.
They go back and forth between which brother will risk it all for the greater good every other season.
Dean and Cas strengthen their relationship by recognizing the impact they have on each other’s lives.
Cas structures his life and decisions around Dean (Seasons 6-7), and Dean learns to trust and fight for Cas (Seasons 8-9).
Sam and Cas bond (mostly over Dean) because of their shared rationales in decision-making.
Dean, Sam, and even Cas also forge relationships with the people they work with. The concept of “found family” is introduced here.
This era was heavy on the plot while establishing, reinforcing, and solidifying relationships and dynamics.
At this point, it wasn’t just about the brothers anymore.
If Supernatural had ended in Season 10, the logical finale would’ve been Team Free Will, along with the family that they’ve found, going up against the latest big bad (Death or whoever). Maybe they lose them along the way, maybe they all make it out alive, or maybe they go down swinging, but at least the show recognizes and supports the message they keep saying, “Family don’t end with blood”
SEASONS 11-15: THE REWRITE ERA
This is where the show runs out of ideas and decides to invalidate the seasons that came before it.
From bringing Mary back (basically rendering their whole journey pointless because they’ve literally started hunting because of her death), to changing the stipulations in being Michael and Lucifer’s vessels (another character struggle rendered useless), to God himself breaking the fourth wall by saying that the Winchesters get away with everything because “they’re the main characters in his story and everything they’ve been through was just part of a badly written narrative”.
But what we’re getting from this era is that Sam and Dean, along with Cas (who has also deviated from the story) ARE trying to escape a badly written narrative.
That’s the “big bad” in this era. The writer.
At this point, the characters have picked up so many strays (including those from alternate universes), and have settled into their roles in their “found family”. Dean, Sam, and Cas all become surrogate dads and uncles.
They’ve also graduated from the whole “we’re on different sides” and “going behind each other’s backs” drama. And they just want the whole family together.
They’ve all resigned themselves to the cause, but they’re also tired. Dean allows himself to contemplate about wanting more out of life or at least getting a vacation. Sam, on the other hand, realizes his capabilities as an effective leader. Castiel learns to love another being that isn’t Dean (spoiler: it’s Jack).
However, they also realize that they’ve just been puppets on a string all this time.
So what they want now, is to write their own story, and make their own choices knowing that God/the writer isn’t the one fueling their narrative.
So here’s why the finale sucks:
Andrew Dabb, the current showrunner, said that there would be two finales.
15x19 - The finale to wrap up Season 15, and 15x20 - The finale to wrap up the series by “resolving the characters’ journey”
In 15x19 the boys find a way to de-power God/the writer. For the first time in their whole lives, they are free from the story. Their lives are completely theirs now. They can make their own decisions. There are no more “big bads” to fight
And here’s what happens in 15x20:
Immediately after being freed from their story arc, Dean and Sam go back to hunting the monster of the week.
Dean eats pie, gets nailed (literally), makes a 10-minute speech to Sam because he knows he’s dying, then he goes to heaven.
Dean is greeted by Bobby, his surrogate Dad who he hasn’t seen (fully alive) since Season 7. Bobby’s expository dialogue comprises of him explaining that he got out of heaven’s jail, that John and Mary are next door, and that Jack and Cas fixed the dynamics of heaven off-screen.
The first thing Dean decides to do is go for a long drive in his Impala (as if he hasn’t done enough of that already).
Meanwhile, Sam decides to stop hunting after Dean dies, he gets the apple pie life he hadn’t wanted since Season 8 (while Dean was in Purgatory), and names his kid “Dean” for effect. He grows old and dies.
Dean drove around in heaven for so long that Sam catches up to him.
They hug. The end.
Great, right?
After 15 years of struggling to battle their own respective destinies, going up against big bads and even bigger bads, then finally being able to take charge of their own stories, Dean and Sam regress to hunting the monster of the week, and get killed off by a nail and old age. Okay.
Sam gets to retire and have a family, sure, but they still focus on him and the kid he named after his dead brother. Still just “Sam and Dean” through and through. Nothing to do with found family. Just lineage. Just blood. And it ends there.
See, the problem here is that this ending would’ve been passable in The Kripke Era. But we’re 10 years down the road since, and while Sam and Dean are the original main characters, the show isn’t just about them and their codependent relationship anymore.
So you see, even if you take out the whole “Castiel deserves to be in the finale because he’s also a main character with an unfinished story arc” argument, the finale still does no justice to the series it tried to “wrap up”.
But anyway, now I’ll make the case for the problem with Castiel not being in the finale:
In 15x18, we get a 5-minute rushed confession from Castiel to Dean. The context of which are as follows:
1. Earlier in the episode, Dean had wounded Death with her scythe. We later find out that this wound is fatal.
2. Their friends start to “blip out” in a Thanos-like snap, and Dean thinks that Death is causing it, so Dean seeks her out, and Cas goes with him.
3. Dean and Cas anger Death, apparently for no reason because she didn’t even do the thing they thought she did. She chases them to try to kill them
4. Dean and Cas lock themselves in a room. Dean starts a pity party.
5. As Dean goes through hating himself out loud, Cas decides to inform Dean of the deal he made with The Empty. He then proceeds to explain the stipulation of the deal (that he would get taken once he experiences a moment of true happiness), then discusses his newfound happiness philosophy. Dean is getting whiplash.
6. Cas goes on to imply that the one thing that he wanted that he knew he couldn’t have is Dean Winchester reciprocating his romantic feelings for him. (Don’t even try to fight me on this because Cas already has Dean’s platonic love, and he knows that Dean thinks of him as a brother, so if he really meant this in a “familial” way, then why would he think that he couldn’t have the thing that would make him happy?) So Cas’ realization is that telling Dean about his feelings is enough to make him happy.
7. Cas tells Dean all the reasons why he loves him (thereby combating Dean’s self-deprecation tirade), and all the reasons why he’s worthy of his love. Meanwhile, Dean is still winded from the fact that Cas is about to sacrifice himself for him again.
8. Dean never gets to process anything, because Cas is shoving him out of the way, as he and Death (who busts through the door) get taken by The Empty.
After this episode, Dean never speaks of it. Misha Collins supposes that Dean doesn’t reciprocate. Jensen Ackles says that Dean didn’t really get to process it because it was too much, too fast, and that Dean, still dense as ever, thinks that Cas, a celestial being, doesn’t interpret human feelings the same way.
So what was the point of this confession?
Politics and sensitivities of a 2005 network television aside, what does this do for the story?
Cas proclaims his romantic feelings to Dean, but Dean never acknowledges it, doesn’t even give it a passing thought afterwards. So Cas’ big declaration goes unheard.
Cas cashes in on his Empty deal to kill Death (who was dying anyway), in order to save Dean who dies two episodes after.
Dean makes no effort to save Cas (despite being really broken up about his previous deaths, or even spending a whole year in Purgatory looking for him), even after they’ve beaten God, not even asking Jack (who has all the power in the universe) to bring him back (when Jack has already done it before, with less mojo).
Dean moves on to fight the monster of the week. Somewhere off-screen, Jack rescues Cas from The Empty, but Cas uncharacteristically doesn’t even bother to go to Dean? (Every single time he comes back, Dean’s always the first person he goes to)
And Cas, who apparently helped craft and reform the new heaven, isn’t the one who welcomes Dean and explains the new dynamics of it?
Sure, Jan.
Supernatural, you’ve created a finale that only your casual viewers and people who dipped out after Season 5 can appreciate.
Just goes to show how much you actually valued the people who actually invested in your story and characters, and consistently helped keep your show on the air.
[RT this on Twitter]
#SUPERNATURAL#DESTIEL#15X20#I KNOW I SAID THAT MY LAST LONG POST WAS MY LAST ON EVER BUT I REALLY DIDN'T THINK THE FINALE WOULD BE WORSE THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE#INSIGHTFUL INSIGHTS#UNTAGGED#PERSONAL
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Burn The Witch 23 - Haunted Heart [Bucky Barnes x Reader]
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Warnings: Enemies to lovers, lovers to enemies, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.
Summary: Coming home can cause issues.
Series Masterlist
SIX MONTHS LATER
You flipped the knife in your hand as the guy tied to the chair glared at you.
“You know,” you trailed off, “I’ve had a really shitty couple of months, Johnny- can I call you Johnny?”
“No.”
“Rude,” you commented, “Fine. John. I’ve had a really shitty couple of months so you really don’t want to try me right now. Just tell me where I can find your boss.”
“You’ll never find him you stupid bitch.”
You rolled your eyes.
“Since I’m going to kill you in a couple of minutes I feel like I can share some things with you,” you said, “My best friend says I keep everything bottled and I should talk about my feelings.”
“Go fuck yourself.”
“See, that’s exactly how I feel!” you pointed at him, “Thank you. I mean, I feel angry at myself. I kind of fucked up with the man I love.”
“Jesus Christ, just kill me already.”
“I’m waiting for a text to do that Johnny,” you pointed out, waving your phone at him. “So, I tricked him and used him and threw him to wolves. And then Accords 2.0 didn’t pass and he has been pardoned once again, and he’s a free man now. I have a strong feeling that he’s not the ‘forgive and forget’ type of guy. You know, assassin to assassin.”
“You’re the chattiest assassin I’ve ever met.”
“Thank you, I’m trying to improve myself,” you said, “I mean what exactly should I do? I don’t even trust my agency at this point, my handler lied to me and I have been at this fucking place for six months now, hunting you down. Well, your boss but…”
“You’ll never find him.”
“We’ll see about that my friend,” you said, “So anyway, like what am I supposed to do? I lost the one guy I actually loved. How do you cope with that? Because drinking doesn’t work, sleeping with others doesn’t work…. Nothing seems to—“ you were cut off when your phone vibrated and you touched the screen to open the text message.
From: Julian
Go for it.
“Wait, no no no, I’ll talk—“
“Kind of too late,” you pointed the gun at him, “Nice to meet you Johnny.”
With that you pulled the trigger, silencer doing its job as there was no loud bang or anything. His body fell back with the impact, and you heaved a sigh.
“Maybe I need a therapist I can’t kill,” you mumbled and walked out of the warehouse to approach the car before opening the door to the passenger seat to get in.
“Is it done?” Julian asked and you nodded, rubbing at your eyes.
“Yep.”
“Are you hungry?”
You made a face, “Just because the General sent you here does not mean we’re going to become buddies.”
“I’m not trying to become buddies with you,” Julian stated, “I just want to eat fries and there’s a two for one deal.”
You eyed him up and down.
“Fine, I could eat fries.” You leaned back in the seat as he started driving, keeping your eyes on the road. Soon enough, you reached the city center and Julian got fries from a food truck, then sat across from you.
“So,” he said, “You do realize this whole thing would’ve been over by now if we actually worked together?”
“I’m not going on the field with you.”
“The General sent me here to help you.”
You dipped the fry into sauce, then popped it into your mouth, “You can help me by pretending you’re not here.”
“Y/N.”
“You know what they say Julian. Fool me once…”
“Don’t tell me you’re still holding that grudge.”
“You mean when you left me behind to die on the last mission we were together?” you asked back, “That grudge?”
“I told you—“
“I’m not going to talk about that with you,” you cut him off, “And I work better alone. Who told you we could waste the guy by the way?”
“The General.”
You grabbed the salt shaker to pour some salt on the fries, causing Julian to make a face.
“Are you kidding me? That was salty enough-“
“Why did he not text me?”
“No idea. Maybe he’s avoiding you because he promised you handler and here you are. Field spy.”
Your jaw clenched.
Or maybe he’s avoiding me because he fucking lied to me.
You had to give it to him, it was the perfect plan. The moment he had suspected you were getting too close to Bucky, he had come up with the one thing he knew that would make you switch sides.
And that-
That was below the belt yes, but that was also masterly.
But at the end of the day, you barely had two people to trust in the entire world, and you seriously doubted you could ever forgive the General for what he had done. You knew he held duty above all, above family and surely above you, but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt.
You shook your head at yourself and grabbed another piece of fry.
“So um…” Julian shifted his weight, “Are you okay?”
You shot him a glare, arching a brow, “Peachy.”
“No I mean… About Barnes.”
“What are you talking about?”
“This whole Accords 2.0 failure, there’s no way we could go after him again.”
“I don’t want to go after him again.”
“You don’t want revenge?”
That made you straighten up your back and you put the fry down, “And why exactly would I want revenge?”
That made Julian fall silent and you nibbled on your lip.
“What exactly did the General tell you before you came here?”
“That there was a job here.”
“Bullshit,” you replied way too quickly, “Did he send you here to be my babysitter? He thinks I’ll go after Barnes myself is that it? That’s why they sent you here months after I left the country but right after Accords 2.0 didn’t pass.”
Julian licked his lips.
“Listen, the agency wants to keep you safe—“ he started but then his phone beeped. He grabbed it to take aa look at the screen, then cussed under his breath.
“What?”
“Check your texts.”
You touched the screen and frowned as your eyes skimmed the text.
From: General
Time to come home.
“Well,” you muttered, your heart dropping to your stomach, “Shit.”
***
Coming back home was harder than ever now. After catching up with Keith and Chloe, you were taken to your new apartment that was given to you by the agency as usual, and for the whole night you couldn’t sleep.
Even if there was no trace of Bucky in your new apartment –in your new life, you still couldn’t shake off this feeling. It was as if the moment you had entered the country, Bucky had entered your life in an instant.
Odds were, you wouldn’t really see him again. After all it was a big city, and Bucky wasn’t exactly the social type.
So your first week back in New York wasn’t exactly terrible. You were still waiting for your orders while getting to know to the city slowly, because after long missions it always took time for you to remember you had a real life there, real memories—
Well, as real as it could be, for a spy.
“Just see it as a vacation,” Chloe had said, “They threw you into another mission as soon as you got out of the country, it’s just a delayed vacation.”
As far as vacations went though, this one just sucked.
Maybe it was because you couldn’t keep away from places you and Bucky had been too, like this coffee place where you had first officially met.
You sipped your coffee, scrolling down on the news website as your eyes skimmed yet another article about Accords and whether you could trust superheroes or not, but you were soon distracted when someone pulled the seat across from you, making you look up from your phone.
And as soon as you did, your heart dropped.
You had to give it to the General, he was manipulative, he was a liar and he had betrayed your trust terribly but the one thing he had done right was training you well. Aside from that one second, you managed to adapt a look of nonchalance on your face, slowly putting your phone down.
“Hello Cap.”
Sam raised his brows and eyed you up and down.
“You’re back?”
You could swear he could hear your heartbeat and you shrugged your shoulders, looking around.
“Yeah,” you said, “Big apple and everything.”
“So much for the small town girl.”
“I have never been a small town girl,” you drawled, “Never been to Oregon either.”
“Yeah, I can tell.”
You turned your coffee cup on the table just so you could do something with your hands.
“Why?” he asked after a beat and you shifted your weight despite your whole training of feeling calm and collected, nervousness hitting you out of nowhere.
“You’re a veteran, Wilson,” you managed to say, “You don’t need me to tell you how the chain of command works. Army doesn’t care how we feel about orders.”
“I’m very familiar with how chain of command works,” he pointed out, “But you’re not a soldier, Y/N. You’re a spy.”
“That makes it even worse,” you stated, “I know it sounds like an excuse, but… you don’t know how my agency works. I don’t get to say no to orders, and I sure as hell don’t get to blow my own cover.”
“But you wanted to, didn’t you?”
Jesus Christ, Wilson was really good at this observation thing.
“Doesn’t matter what I want,” you said, “I’m no use to anyone if I develop a conscience.”
“But you did,” he insisted, “Why else would you come to help us? Why else would you warn him beforehand?”
“He told you about that?”
He shot you a look, “What do you think, Y/N?”
You scoffed a laughter. “I was feeling generous,” you said, “No other reason.”
He kept his gaze on you for a couple of seconds, as if trying to see whether you would cave before he took a deep breath.
“You know he was going to propose, right?”
That-
That was just too much. You could feel your jaw hanging as you stared at him in complete silence, his words echoing in your ears.
“No,” you said after a moment, then shook your head fervently, your nose in the air, “No you’re wrong.”
“I’m not,” Sam said, “Apparently he was looking for this… house painted in white with—a red door or something.”
Don’t cry.
Do not fucking cry.
Spies don’t cry over heartbreak.
You clenched your jaw and blinked back the tears, straightening your back.
“It’s a good thing he didn’t get to, then.”
“Y/N, he loved you.”
“No Sam, he loved someone who doesn’t exist,” you replied, “Sweet small town girl with sundresses and smiles and some house in the suburbs with kids and all that shit. Girls like me don’t get that ending, I have way too much blood on my hands.”
He pressed his lips together and you cleared your throat.
“How much does he hate me?”
“Why do you think he hates you?”
“Assassins aren’t good at forgiving,” you said, “I would know, we don’t have that talent.”
“That’s not a talent, that’s a choice.”
“It really isn’t,” you muttered, “So?”
“Why don’t you ask him?”
You let out a bitter laugh, “Yeah no. Actions have consequences and I’d rather not cross paths with the deadliest assassin in the world after double crossing him.”
“But you want him to forgive you.”
“What makes you say that?”
“Intuition,” he said and pushed his chair back to stand up.
“He didn’t kill your father, Y/N.”
You heaved a sigh.
“I know,” you said, “Trust me, I would’ve walked away so much easier if he had.”
“Enjoy your coffee,” he said and walked out of the coffee house. You threw your head back, closing your eyes.
“Yep. I shouldn’t have come back.”
***
“I never thought I’d say this, but I kind of hate that we’re not living so close anymore,” you pressed the phone between your shoulder and your ear and opened the door to your apartment as Keith chuckled.
“I knew you’d miss me.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re a softie deep inside. Very very deep inside.”
“If you repeat that in front of anyone I swear to God…” you muttered and he groaned.
“Have I told you they’re putting me in the same team as Julian?”
“You guys have a new mission?”
“Not a long one probably.”
“Why the fuck am I—“
“Because you’re on a vacation,” he cut you off, “And also they’re probably going to make you a handler, that’s worth waiting for.”
“That or….”
“We’re not talking about that on the phone,” Keith said quickly, “Amateur.”
“Careful there, I’ll outrank you soon enough,” you said, walking to the bathroom to wash your hands. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Alright, see you later!” he said and hung up. You put your phone into your pocket, then washed your hands and made your way to the kitchen.
It was only when you put the wine bottle back into the fridge that you noticed something was off. Your body moved on its own accord, before you knew it you had already grabbed the knife in your boots and threw it to the figure in the dark corner of the room but he easily caught it, metal hitting what sounded like another kind of metal before he stepped out of the corner. Your breath caught in your throat, and for the first time in your life you froze, all the training leaving your mind.
You were supposed to be looking for a weapon, any kind of weapon but somehow, your body refused to move.
Bucky turned your knife in his hands, his gaze pinning you to your spot before he tilted his head.
“Hi honey,” he said, his voice way too cold. “I’m home.”
Chapter 24
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