#we will settle in and i doubt anything i am feeling is abnormal but I'm really struggling and i feel so bad about that

[naamahdarling]

.

[wishingyouback]

the distance between you and i.

pairing: hwang hyunjin x reader 

warnings: none, hyunjin gets a little anxious. 

"hey," hyunjin looks up from his phone, his scrunched up face relaxing when he realises he's been frowning too long at the small device in his hands. he straightens his back too, just out of habit and cringes when he hears a crack.

"when's y/n getting here?"

the boys are all sprawled around your apartment, each divided into pairs to help quicken the process of decorating your apartment with balloons and posters that they've made a week prior to your birthday, which is today. hyunjin, however, seems to be the only person sat at your dining table with a frown on his face. a minute ago he was laughing at the way jisung kept failing to tie the ballons, but now he was as quiet as a mouse.

"um.." he glances down at his phone again. "an hour, why?"

"dude, you alright? we've been decorating the entire morning and you've been staring at your phone ever since we got here." seungmin says, feeling genuine concern for his friend.

felix, who's decorating the cake across them, nods his head.

"we didn't want to pry incase it was personal but... i thought you were looking forward to surprising her."

"i am," he fiddles with his fingers, letting seungmin take his phone away from him to slide it away. "it's just..."

hyunjin had been the one to plan this entire party, yet here he was doubting himself.

hyunjin and you have been together for two years now, balancing both your studies and the relationship was definitely not easy, especially when hyunjin decided to pursue his dreams a thousand kilometres away from where you had planned to study but nevertheless, you worked it out. despite all the late night texting, poorly timed calls and the abnormal amount of workload given to the both of you, you made it work and hyunjin was finally back home for his break.

something you weren't aware of.

this surprise of his holiday was kept a secret even from the boys until he had flew in and drove straight to jisung's house with a box of pizza and his luggage, asking if he could stay over when he remembered his parents were out of town visiting his distant relatives.

to say hyunjin received a scolding from all of them, would be an understatement. but they were all glad to have him back.

hyunjin falters, unable to express what it is he feels as its something not even he can muster up the courage, or find the words to say.

"it's been a while, you know." he settles with this. it's short, it's simple, but it's enough for them to understand what he means. "what if she gets mad at me for not telling her i'm back?"

felix chuckles, "if she gets mad, i'm sure her excitement will overshadow that quick." he assured, "if there's anything y/n will be, it'll be touched. she'll love you more than she does now."

"if that's possible," seungmin shrugs. this makes hyunjin smile.

"hey," chan walks in with a balloon in one hand and a spoon in the other. "she'll love the surprise."

chan always had a way with words, the simplicity of them and the way he could always be so gentle with the truth even if it hurt would always amaze the blond but still, he nodded in appreciation, even if the bubbling in his stomach said otherwise. he was really nervous.

"guys," minho then walks in urgently with his phone in one hand. he moves to make an announcement but pauses when he catches sight of the ladle in chan's hand, "did you try my soup without me knowing?"

"it tastes great by the way," chan compliments before smiling cheekily. minho glares at the older boy before turning back to the group of boys who are starting to huddle around the table.

jisung leans over to steal some icing but felix is quick to realise and slaps his hand away.

"jeongin just texted. he's coming up with y/n right now, they just arrived."

"oh right," seungmin says as if he's just remembering the plan. "no wonder it was so quiet, he wasn't here."

"you're just realising it?" jisung laughs.

"what do you mean she's on her way up? she's in the building?" hyunjin's eyes widen.

he doesn't know if his heart's racing from excitement or something else, but it's quick and beating rapidly, that hyunjin doesn't feels he doesn't have enough time to properly digest what's happening when he feels changbin carefully hoist him up from his seat to stand. hyunjin hasn't felt this way since your first date, and he was a nervous wreck.

"i'd assume so, this is her apartment right?" jisung replies, yelping comically when chan hits the back of his head. "i was being sarcastic!"

"they're waiting for the lift now. she doesn't know you're here so you, have to hide." minho points at hyunjin then points his thumb to the hallway, giving him the option of hiding in either your bedroom, bathroom, study room or guest room.

"wait did you—"

"yes! we did! now go hide," felix shoos hyunjin away cutely with his hands, making the older boy laugh.

if he was honest he didn't really need time to think for where to hide, heading straight to your room.

the first thing he realises when he walks in is that you've shifted the posters above your bed to across, crossing to hang a lovely heart shaped mirror above your bed. he likes it. the serenity that washes over his body isn't unusual, in fact it even makes him feel more content — he feels safe standing in a place he's so familiar with despite being away for so long. the smell of your perfume faintly hanging around the room, making hyunjin yearn for you more. he supposes it isn't very hard to wait since you were just a few floors down.

the hair clips he gifted you for your anniversary were still sitting nicely in the small box you had specifically for hair accessories. the pictures you had hanging up across your wall were still present, albeit some were replaced, they still held the same sentiment as before. you've mixed them around so they looked more of a collage then just a random pattern like it was before. he admires the few pictures you have of yourself and mentally notes to snap a picture of this part of your wall out of admiration.

hyunjin was starting to realise just how much he had missed you; it was sinking in how long it had been since he last got to hold you close to him; how long it had been since he last got to kiss your lips just to taste the sweet flavoured chapstick you always have on; how long it had been since he got to hold your hands in his whenever he'd notice you were cold.

his eagerness to see you was now growing abundantly.

the hammer on the head to secure hyunjin's realisation is when he goes to sit on the edge of your bed, and catches a glimpse of a photo framed on your bedside, something you didn't have before he left town.

it was a picture of you and him, sat next to each other on the beach with your head on his shoulder and his arm wrapped tightly around you. the two of you seemed to be in the midst of a conversation because while you were pictured breathtakingly beautiful in it, hyunjin had his eyes crinkled up in a tiny eye smile with the corners of his lips curled up to show how hard he was laughing at whatever you had said to him. he can't believe you kept the picture chan had took of you two, but what surprises him even more is that he remembers that day so clearly in his mind as if it had happened just the day before.

he notices a tiny note on the corner of the frame and bends down to take a better look.

325 days more.

he feels his heart ache at the meaning of that message. you were taking note of the days until you got to see him again.

he feels like tearing up but when he hears the muffled voices of the boys screaming, he takes it as his cue to calm himself down.

you must have arrived.

the reunion is sweet, hyunjin assumes, from the way there's laughter, screaming and even singing from no other but jisung, and hyunjin feels like the pieces of his life that were poorly hid under the mess of his new memories, coming back to life.

sure he loved the new environment he was living in, the new atmosphere and the lovely new group of friends he acquainted himself with over the period of time he was overseas, but he was ninety nine percent sure, that nothing could beat the feeling of reuniting with the people you grew up with.

"go put this in your room, we'll set up the table."

and that was his cue.

hyunjin prepared something grand, he was going to hide in your bathroom then walk out with flowers and gift he made specially for you, but he decides against it. deciding that doing that would only delay the anticipation he had growing to see you.

he wanted to see you.

he doesn't know what to do when the sound of your door clicks open but he manages to compose himself by taking his previous spot on the edge of your bed, sitting there with his elbows on his knees, pretending to be occupied with something when in reality he was busy calming down his beating heart.

when he hears you gasp, that's when he finally looks up and is unable to control himself.

"hyun..." your voice fails you because as soon as his name leaves your lips he's meeting you halfway and carrying you in the safety of his arms, not wanting to ever let go after being apart for so long.

the both of you (mostly him) stand there with your arms wrapped warmly around each other. your legs are secured around his hips while he has one arm around your waist and the other in your hair, silently reminding himself that this was real. that you were here, and so was he.

after what feels like forever (but not long enough), you reluctantly pull away from him and stand on your own two feet, not letting your arms unwrap themselves from behind his neck.

the emotions hyunjin feels are nearly overwhelming, but he manages them with a smile. he takes a step closer so his feet meet yours and he rests his forehead against yours.

"you smell nice," he closes his eyes blissfully and allows your laughter to fill his ears, entering his body and completing his entire existence. he feels whole. "sorry, that was the first thing that came to mind after hugging you."

"it's nice to see you too," you choke through your tears, making hyunjin's eyes snap open, his hands instantly moving to cradle your face.

"hey, hey, hey..." the tears you let slip through your eyes don't go very far as his thumb is quick to wipe them away. "why're you crying, baby? did i hurt you?" he quickly scans your body to see if there are any red spots from when he scooped you up.

"no," your whimper out your words, unable to control the joy that's overtaking your mind however the excitement seems to translate into cries that you had been holding in for the past months he had been away.

he was here.

he was here, with you.

"i can't believe you're here." you finally swallow your saliva to say, laughing in disbelief when you see hyunjin grinning at you.

"you know i'd never miss my girl's birthday," he affectionately kisses the top of your head before squatting down to get his present from under your bed. "mind opening my gift first?"

if the boys are getting restless while waiting for them, hyunjin hopes they forgive him after this because he does not plan on leaving your room any time soon.

"when did you have the time to get this," you sniffle through your tears, delicately taking the box from his hands then moving to sit on your bed to open it.

hyunjin follows suit, sitting across you with his legs crossed.

"is it something we've talked about?" you gently lift the cover off of the box, making hyunjin want to open it for you, but he fights back the urge. he wanted your reaction to be genuine, in your own pace.

"nope," he smiles proudly.

he could be bluffing but you didn't think much of it.

"is it something i've shown you?"

"nope."

"is it something you've shown me?"

"no,"

"have i--"

"babe," hyunjin chuckles. "it's not a surprise if i tell you what it is. now come on, open it." he says excitedly, making you grin at how happy he is.

as you slowly unwrap the gift, hyunjin's heart skips a beat when he sees the shock on your face. it's genuine, he knows from the way your smile drops abruptly before you let out a gasp.

"hyunjin..." the gift he got you was none other than a framed drawing of the two of you together on your first date.

what surprised you most was that in the bottom right corner of the drawing, were the initials you recognised even from first glance.

"you drew this?" you felt the tears well up in your eyes again, your vision going blurry when you look up at hyunjin.

he notices and carefully takes the picture out of your hands so he can scoot closer and pull you into his embrace.

"it took me a few months," he mumbles into your hair when he kissed the top of your head "but it was all worth it." he smiles.

"it was actually pretty hard to pick which picture to use since i have so many of you and little of us, but i think this went well. it's the first picture we took together," he admits shyly. "also you wear a lot of jewellery, did you know how hard it was to draw your necklace?" he attempts to hide his blush with a joke but the entire statement is a lie.

he knows he'd draw the tiniest details over and over again just for you.

"you're so," you wipe away the last year to fall out of your eyes. "god i can't believe you come all the back here without telling me and then make me cry because of your sweet present, and cute face..." you grumble lightheartedly.

"was my cute face all you missed?" he pouts.

of course, that's what he focuses on.

when you give him a bemused look, he laughs aloud and pulls you back into his embrace.

"sorry for making you cry," he whispers softly when he pulls away. he starts to get up from his spot, carefully pulling you up with him when he slips his fingers through yours to lace them together.

warm.

he feels warm inside.

you nearly chuckle at his apology, finding it cute, but play along.

"that's okay," you run your thumb over his knuckles as he brings both of your hands up to his lips, lightly grazing over the promise ring he got you when he last visited.

the two of you make your way to the door, with you leading the way since hyunjin very obviously doesn't want to move from his spot, when he gently tugs you back to him.

"wait," you stop in your tracks right to look up at him.

"yeah?" when the both of you lock eye contact, hyunjin nearly chokes on his words at how beautiful your eyes are. you always had this effect on him. he controls his knees from weakening.

"i forgot something else."

he leans down to seal his wish with a kiss.

at first it starts off slow, gradually growing into something more passionate that you feel yourself grow shy when hyunjin moves a hand to cup your jaw and the other sliding around your waist to pull you closer, but you're quick to remind yourself of the rest of the boys just outside the room and carefully pull away from his plump lips, that now look swollen after being against yours.

you bite back a smile when you see how red his cheeks are. "i got lipgloss all over you." you laugh, moving your thumb up to swipe against his bottom lip.

just because, for no reason and just for the sake of doing what he wants, he leans back down to peck your lips, one last time.

"happy birthday, sweetheart."

author's note:

if you're read this far 'till the end, thank u so much. i hope it wasn't a chore x

i wrote this last night after going through a long slump and coincidentally, hyune went live today and painted with us 🥺 so what better timing!

sending the warmest hugs <3

— don't hesitate to share your thoughts with me 💞

[idiosyncrasy-thoughts]

Trust - Yvette Short Story

(a continuation of Empathy)

"The largest cell in the human body is the female egg while the smallest is the male sperm. Now, I..."

I sigh boredly, my ears automatically tuning out the professor's blabbering. I have decided to return back to medical school after the whole assassin versus demon thing. It was an interesting experience to go through and a definite wake-up call for me. Seeing Wrath and her troupe protecting people from demons reminded me of the reason why I had joined medical school; which is to save lives.

Oh please MC, the last push to go back is because of Yvette's interest in biology too.

Speaking of her, it has been more than two weeks since that fight between Wrath and her happened. Things eventually go back to the way they used to be; with no more demons to chase after me, no more powerful assassins to protect my weak ass; no more chaos. I should be happy that I don't have to live in fear anymore.

But somehow, that feeling just never comes.

Instead, I'm stuck with a longingness in my chest, for a certain green-haired girl that has probably forgotten about me. Her gorgeous features ingrained in my memory, there is never a time when her face doesn't pop up in my head.

I doubt Yvette's gonna bother you anymore after getting what she wants. You can go back to your normal life now. Wrath's previous words sink in my head, and I release another breath of defeat.

"You okay?" Serena, my classmate, asks. "You've sighed like fifty times today."

I sigh again. "I'm just...tired. The class is so dry."

"I know, but what do you expect from studying in a medical school?" Serena offers an apologetic smile. "Just hang on for a few more hours."

"Ugh, I can't wait to graduate."

"Feeling's mutual."

When the bell rings to signal the end of school, I mutter a quiet 'yes' before packing my stuff into my bag. Saying a quick 'bye' to Serena, I head back to my dorm.

Being in medical school means there's a need to understand rich content from a heap of thick textbooks, so I'm required to lock myself up in my room and revise daily. Tedious, but it will be worth it in the end.

As I inch closer to my dormitory, a dark trail of green catches my attention. Out of curiosity, I follow the path.

It leads me through a narrow and dimmed alley, taking me further and further away from the sunlit pavement. I take a right turn, stopping in my tracks when I reach a dead end. The strange trail discontinues too, with no other traces in sight.

I decide to examine the green goo, racking my brain for answers as to what has caused this. A faint memory resurfaces, causing the blood in my veins to run cold.

Could it be...?

My stomach churns sickly at the first thought that comes to my mind.

Demon's blood.

"But how?" I mumble to myself, so deep in consideration that I don't realise that I'm not alone anymore.

Heavy footsteps can be heard behind me, and I turn to be met with two strangers. They block the only pathway, leaving no available space to escape.

"Uh, can I help the both of you?" I ask, apparently talking to the walls since they refuse to reply.

A smile spread across their faces; too wide for me to feel comfortable in their presence.

They start to approach me.

"Stop right there!"

They do as I say, still wearing that abnormally large smile. Their eyelids begin to stretch out, revealing huge eyeballs that threaten to pop out. Thin, green veins emerge into sight, spreading far and wide on every inch of skin. Saliva dripping down their mouths, they let out a loud, aggressive growl.

Ah shit, here we go again.

I yell for help when one of them dashes towards me, shoving me hard. Tumbling backwards, my head hits the wall.

Pain penetrates my head like a bullet; darkness engulfs my vision.

~~~

I wake up to the feeling of a soft mattress underneath me. Lifting my hand to my forehead, I feel the material of gauze bandage.

Wha-what happened? Where am I?

"I told you to bring her here, not break her fucking head!" a female voice booms, the familiarity of it igniting every muscle in me.

It's her.

My body snaps up, the quick motion causing a spike of pain to pierce through my head. I gasp, my hand instinctively flying to the back of my head.

The mattress sinks as two warm, gloved hands hold my shoulders to guide me back to the bed. "You need to rest MC."

Obliging, my head rests on the soft pillow again. The tension between my brows leaves and I slowly open my eyes. Air leaves my lungs as my vision clears.

It's none other than the girl that has been running through my mind for the past two weeks.

Yvette.

Seeing her in real life sure relieves the yearning feeling in my heart, and the pain in my head slowly dissipates. I don't hold back a wide grin.

"I...thought I'd never see you again," I speak, a little out of breath.

She smiles endearingly, shrugging. "I thought so too. But here we are."

I stay silent, taking the moment to admire the view before me. The girl's healing from her encounter with Wrath, which is a good sign. A cut on her lip and a square bandage on the right side of her head are still visible, but other than that, Yvette is beautiful as ever.

A cough breaks me out of my trance, and the green-haired girl's not looking at me anymore. A hint of pink colours her tanned cheeks.

Oh my god, she's so cute. Wait, stop it MC, you're making things awkward!

"Sorry, um, It's great that you're healing well."

"Yeah. Now it's your turn." Yvette offers a sympathetic smile. "Sorry about your head. I couldn't contact you or find you at the bike shop. So I sent them to search for you."

"Well, my phone broke after the whole incident, and I've decided to go back to medical school," I explain, sputtering the next sentence unintentionally. "I thought you wouldn't need me after you got the charm."

Yvette blinks at me. "You'd think so lowly of me?"

"No! As in...I thought you would forget about me eventually."

"I would never. Especially when you've helped me immensely."

It's my turn to blink blankly. "I didn't do much though. I was like a damsel in distress."

Yvette strokes my hair out of the way, offering a lingering look that makes my heart do somersaults. "You defended me when no one else would."

"I had to! You looked close to death when you were on the gr-"

"You helped drag the time while I was catching my breath!" the girl defends her ego, in which I roll my eyes amusedly.

"Sure Yvette, whatever you say."

She lets out a laugh, one that sounds so melodic and lovely that it makes the temperature in the room warmer. It is surely a tune that I would love to hear everyday.

"Do you want anything? Water or some snacks?"

"A glass of water sounds nice."

Yvette turns her attention to the regretful-looking demon who pushed me previously. "You heard her. Get me a glass of water. Now."

The demon straightens his posture and nods his head, quickly leaving the room.

"Do demons actually have feelings?"

"Of course. Remember? I'm a demon too," Yvette reminds, a sad smile settling on her face.

Way to go MC. You just made your crush sad.

"Right, I should just keep my mouth shut. Or you could just throw me out now."

A teasing smile returns on Yvette. "I could never get rid of a cutie like you," she teases, pinching my cheek lightly.

I fluster.

"Wa-err," the demon utters, his quiet entrance startling me.

Indifferent, Yvette takes the glass and shoos him. She then aids me in sitting up as I drink my water. The domestic gesture warms my heart.

She's not that horrible person Wrath have described to me. In fact, Yvette's caring nature reminds me of a kind doctor who takes care of her patients dutifully.

"Thanks doc," I playfully comment. "I could get used to this."

"Taking advantage are we?"

I smile innocently. "Just a little."

The woman reciprocates the smile and puts away the glass once I'm done. I shift myself so that I can lean on the bedframe, and Yvette does the same as well, our shoulders brushing against each other.

"How's school so far?"

I update Yvette on the modules I'm currently taking and the upcoming tests I have, not failing to mention that much memory power is needed to survive medical school.

"If you like, I can tutor you," the girl offers.

"Really? That'll help a lot."

I hand my new phone to Yvette for her to enter her number. This reminds me of the first time I successfully asked a girl for her number; the experience both nerve-racking and exhilarating.

We then move on to more serious topics; of the reason why she needed my charm.

"That...I can't tell you. I've agreed to keep this deal with the demons strictly confidential," Yvette explains with a frown. "But I can assure you that your charm will help me greatly."

Hopefully my charm isn't some key to demon domination, or the troupe will come for my head. But Yvette said that it will benefit her, so maybe...it will get rid of the demon essence in her?

Yvette's deepening frown brings me back to reality. Her eyes are studying me, wary of any change of emotions. "Look MC, I'd love to give you an explanation, but-"

"I understand," I cut off the girl, offering a reassuring smile and daring to hold her gloved hand. "I trust you."

Silence fills the air. The girl gazes at me, her eyes a mixture of wonder and vulnerability.

At times like these, where the girl is just silent, I wish I could know what she's thinking about. What she thinks of me. Her impression of me.

"You do?" she asks, tone full of uncertainty.

I ponder.

Do I? Yvette's an intelligent person, and I trust that everything she does, is for a logical reason.

The only concern I have is the intensity of it; of how easily I let myself to trust someone I don't know well; someone with intentions that I have no clue about. It might be to my demise, or benefit; whichever rules out the other.

Returning the gaze, I see myself in Yvette's emerald eyes. The sight of white bandage around my head reminds me that the girl has been nothing but kind to me.

...I'll take my chances.

"I do."

Yvette releases a breath, as if she has been holding it for a while. She interlocks our fingers together, sparking a connection between us. A smile tugs on her lips and her eyes are bright with gratitude and hope.

"I'll make sure that it won't die down."

We spend the rest of the day bantering happily.