#we typically share memories so i don't experience this shit much but it's truly. Something

[ozlices]

returning to stardewing post-system awareness is wild bc i have zero recollection of our most thorough playthrough on switch & one of the co-hosts was just like "yeah cause i did that" & im just here like. h.... how.

THE ENTIRE FARM IS DECORATED. EVERY INCH, INCLUDING THE HOUSE. & SHE HAS THE OBILISKS & EVEN THE GOLDEN CLOCK I FHZHAD

she also has the island farm decorated & the greenhouse like,, im so intimidated & jarred WHERE WAS I WHEN SHE DID ALL THIS FHZGDCSGDSJX

the only thing she neglected in the playthrough was friendships but she has a SHITLOAD OF PRISMATIC SHARDS ??????? SO THATS NOT AN ISSUE IG???????

she's too powerful bro what the whole hell

[blood-choke]

maybe I'm really stupid and partially asleep, but even though mc is a cis woman they keep talking as if she suffered a lot because of... it? like if she suffered the same as someone trans, am I missing something? ​is it purely because of the way she dresses? like telling V "you know I'm not a man right" like what lol how could she not know? and H talking about her own life experiences and saying mc must know how she feels... hm idk if she does she's white. ANYWAY I LOVE IT SO MUCH MUAH :*

you're right, there's not a lot of variation between cis or trans mcs at the moment. to be honest, i don't consider the cis mc "cis" anyways, she's butch. either way, both versions of her dressed and passed as a man previously, and she still presents very masculine & may be mistaken as a man.

obviously, it's not the same as if she were a trans woman, but to the random bigot in the bathroom, it doesn't make a difference.

with mc's memory gone, she has complicated feelings about her gender; she knows that she spent a lot of time as a man working blue collar jobs, and that from what little information she's managed to pry from Valentina or piece together on her own, she knows that she seemed to have accepted it and even liked it right before her entombment. but now she doesn't have to do that anymore, and she's not sure what that means for her when a lot of her identity was wrapped up in this kind of drag king-esque performance.

this is also the same for the trans mc, though with the added anxiety of being trans. i didn't change the conversation between mcs because i honestly didn't feel it was necessary; the player knows how their character feels & can decide precisely where the mc's fear is truly coming from - if it's because she's trans & butch or if it's just because she's butch.

when she has that conversation with Valentina, it's not that she thinks Valentina is being literally transphobic or anything like that. when they look at the painting of her and Valentina, and when Valentina calls her "husband," she's afraid that because she's butch/trans, and because she used to pretend to literally be a man, then Valentina is afraid of her and potentially sees her truly as a man, and more specifically, as Standard.

there are plenty of people (including lgbt people) that treat butches like this. something i've mentioned a few times here is the term "heteropatriarchal" which is typically applied to butches and butch/femme relationships. basically people equate butches to straight men enforcing the patriarchy because they're choosing to "emulate" them. there are a lot of lesbians that hate butches & treat them like shit because they're considered the "bad" lesbians. there are a lot of people that are critical of butch/femme because they think it's "heteronormative" because, again, they think butch = man and femme = woman. and all of this is doubly so for transfem butches.

with Hana, she is trans, so after the mc gets screamed at in the bathroom, that's what she's talking about. before that, when they have the first conversation in the car, Hana should actually always tell a white mc that she can't understand. after the bathroom, Hana will only confide that she's trans with an mc that has a high enough relationship with her, and with white mcs she should say something about this being "the one curse that we do share" but otherwise she should make it explicitly clear that the mc (and Valentina for that matter) can't understand her experience.

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Ok, so SOOO much to unpack here, brace yourself. I posted prior on as anonymous 🫥 to get some quick info out, but now I’m really hankering in to unpack.

Ok, so I get it, Gojo definitely has valid reasons to suspect Rinko, but also…

I agree with anonymous (ง'̀-'́)ง, I was ready to fight Gojo (and everyone else who’s an ass to Rinko). Congrats, you have turned a group of Gojo simps to an army of Rinko protectors 🛡️

Anywho, back on point here. Gojo suspecting Rinko was valid because literally everything pointed to her, and while they do communicate to each other often, Rinko has proven to not always share everything because of either Clan shit, or I suspect to keep the barrier of friends with benefits with Gojo.

That said, like, Gojo literally out here claiming she’s his “You’re mine”, like it’s nothing. It’s definitely something, and I get Rinko not addressing in the moment, but she has to question it (Right? 👀)

Also, thank you for representing her feels so eloquently 🥹 as someone who’s recently discovered I have PTSD and panic attacks, and trying to recover from, you handled her own feelings so well! Sometimes reading those experiences can make it hard for myself, but I was able to get through it. So thanks 😊

Well hello! I will also address your anon message in this, so everything is below the cut!! 😊😊

If you're new and HAVEN'T already, you can read Another Level on AO3 :)

I'm pasting your Anon message:

I’m so very impressed with the recent writing of Rinko and Gojo’s life. The way you handled Rinko’s breakdown was true to form of the panic instilling, the body dissociating - all scarily accurate. Literally was screaming at Gojo the entire time to help her breathe by breathing. From my own experience with panic attacks, having a loved one help you through it works wonders (even if you may not want it, you need it). Rinko’s story has found a special place in my heart, and you do her justice in expressing it in your writing. Truly impressed

OKAY.

I will first address the panic attacks and how accurately they are written:

I have had panic attacks for as long as I can remember. I have also had PTSD from past relationships. I recently discovered that I am also autistic 🙃 and 'autistic meltdowns' are often mistaken for panic attacks in undiagnosed people. So, there's that.

I have written about my mental health for a long, long time. Many years. If you'd like, I can share those, but I don't want to make you feel pressured to read them! (also don't want to out myself for how much of myself I've accidentally written into Rinko 👀)

AN ARMY OF RINKO PROTECTORS YES.

I can tell you who will be LEADING that army:

Don't you HURT HIS ADOPTIVE MOM COUSIN.

Gojo staking his claim and what Rinko thinks:

I'm gonna be real with you. Rinko thought almost nothing of him saying that for two reasons: 1) He was drunk. 2) She straight up thinks he is the dumbest man alive.

Rinko genuinely thinks that Gojo is just stupid and doesn't realize that things he says and does send messages of more than being friends.

Why, you ask? Let's take a lil trip down memory lane:

We'll start with this bit from Let Me Know You:

“Friends don’t typically do this,” she said quietly, a small laugh escaping when he pouted. “Unless you’re going to tell me this is how all of your friendships are? Because that’d be very interesting.” That made him laugh, his eyes crinkling at the corners, hand moving to the back of her neck to pull her lips to meet his again. Pressing his tongue into her mouth, his other hand went to her shirt again. “I’ll admit this might not be a conventional friendship,” he murmured, unbuttoning the few buttons she’d managed to fasten earlier. “But that’s what makes it fun. We can have sleepovers-”

Then, I Say "Sayonara":

But she couldn’t, she wouldn’t, tell her mother about her ‘unconventional’ friendship with Gojo Satoru. Not the typical friendship, he would always say as he grinned, pressing a gentle kiss to her temple or forehead. Such a contrast to how he would spend the next few hours taking her apart in every way he could.

AND THEN, FINALLY, New Memories:

“You know,” she said, reluctantly allowing him to pull her along with him again. “That isn’t exactly how friends-” “Not a typical friendship, baby,” he cut her off. “Now,” he paused, grabbing her by the waist and warping them to her apartment. “Get changed.”

I'm going to write an Author Discussion once we've gotten through (Please) Prove Me Wrong, so that will break down quite a bit and hopefully answer some of your other questions!! 😊😊

Full disclosure: Gojo's POV was never meant to be as big of a deal as it's become, and I am struggling to write it rn 🙃🙃🙃

Thank you for reading and sending these TWO amazing asks 🥹💕