#we talked about skipping ahead to their trip to loghain's house/grave so B))

[immobiliter]

       We do not need to decide anything now. It could actually be preferable that we didn't. And so they didn't. They returned to the celebrations, to the merriment of the Hogmanay season with Jenny and Ian and their brood of children and grandchildren. They said nothing more in public of their plans to wed, only during those few, precious moments they were able to steal away alone — where they eventually decided that an announcement should be made after the holiday celebrations, after Jenny's other children returned to their own estates and land and the atmosphere at Lallybroch finally calmed down.

       But there was also one more thing they wished to do first. Jamie had made a promise to take Anora to her parents home, and then to their graves. They rode out a week later, a short trip across the countryside to the bordering estate — land that Anora and Jamie had frequently played in as children. The Mac Tir estate, too, was like taking a step back into his childhood; Jamie had nearly spent as much time here as a lad as he had at Castle Leoch.

       Though it was sans the familiar faces; of the stable hands and servants, of Loghain himself. He had been a prickly, difficult man — much like Jamie's uncle, Dougal MacKenzie — but a staunch defender of the Scots right to rule themselves. Jamie had always respected him, and when he and Claire had called for bannermen to accompany them to the Bonnie Prince's side, Loghain had been one of the first to answer the call. He knew that Anora must envy him somewhat, for fighting alongside the man in what would be the final months of his life.

       There were many mens' deaths on his hands following that fateful day at Culloden, many men who ought to have lived — certainly ahead of himself, begrudging survivor of the battle as he was. Loghain was certainly among them, though Jamie wondered how he may have fared after defeat, a traitor to the Crown and thrown in Ardsmuir Prison like the rest of them.

       Jamie and Anora halted a short distance away from the estate itself, dismounting their horses and leading them a little further along the winding path. It might court suspicion to get too close. “ I dinna ken who lives here now. With you in England, the Mac Tir line died out with your father. ” There were no other heirs to inherit the estate, and with Loghain declared a traitor, it was likely the English seized his assets following the Uprising. Jenny was only able to keep Lallybroch because Jamie signed it over to his nephew before the battle was fought at Culloden Moor all those years ago. “ I suspect you could stake a claim on it now, but that may mean rudely casting out the current tenants. ”

Anora glances up to Jamie with a shadow of embarrassment, but with a swift inhale she feels the grin on her lips grow only slightly when her eyes return to their hands. This was perhaps the most reckless thing she had done for a very long time, with minimal planning she had moved to Scotland without much thought of what she truly should do. She had enough that she wouldn’t need to be overtly concerned, enough to live a comfortable life. Not as lavish as the life in London would have provided it, but what use was that comfort when it was in the shape of a cage?

  “I would like to remain, yes.” until the air around perhaps hurt too much, either him or her. Until the weight of their names threatened to crack their aging bones. Truthfully she didn’t think she would ever want to leave, but then she never thought she would ever leave England. She thought that she would be buried next to Cailan and yet that felt like a whole different life now too “I have to admit I didn’t thought much beyond just… leaving.“

Her desires and planning had been made with little direction beyond the base wants that she had kept within for many years. Ever since leaving, ever since knowing of her father’s death “I know only that I want to visit my parents’ grave. Perhaps the house? To just…“ 

she stops herself and for that moment, holding Jamie’s hand tighter, she feels herself as child again trying to justify why she should go to town by herself.

  “My, do I sound foolish,” she breathes out, sparing only a second long glance to Jamie and then back to the figures that moved just beyond the almost closed door “but, I suppose, I just want to see it.“

The large stone walls, the vines that kissed the rusting sills. The tower that her mother used to build small dolls and furniture for her to play with when she could barely climb those same steps. There was no real reason to return there, she didn’t know its face but at the best of cases it was now the home of someone that made her father’s skin crawl. It could just be rubble. Anora looked to the family beyond and wondered which option would make her feel better.

  “We do not need to decide anything now, it could actually be preferable that we didn’t.” she feels herself snap back to the present, turning to face Jamie with a smile. Though she agreed, a large city where they could just be someone among a crowd sounded perfect. She didn’t wish to live with Jenny and her family nor on a castle for herself.

Speaking of, her attention falls on Jenny who is looking with a crooked brow around the room to her children and briefly to Laoghaire. Anora could swear she saw a small grin in her face as she glances towards the door “I feel we have stretched our luck far enough, Jenny seems to have noticed our absence.“ 

She squeezes his hand before releasing it “Shall we?“