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a-froger-epic · 3 years ago

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In regards to what @trixie-bobwhite said, I agree with them completely, but that isn’t really the reason people dislike Mary. Most of us know that she wasn’t in control of Jim, Joe and Phoebe being evicted so prematurely. Most of our grievances lie with her homophobic attitude, her obsession with Freddie, her refusing to give the GL boys their possessions, the incident with the cats, the cruel comments she allegedly made to Jim and the victim complex she seems to have adopted over the years. All of which was completely within her control.

According to Freddie’s own mother and his friends, it was very much Mary who cut herself off from them, so I don’t buy this idea that she genuinely felt like she’d been abandoned and it was all some misunderstanding. I agree with Thor; she never liked any of Freddie’s friends, so felt no need to keep in touch with them. Which is, you know, fine. But don’t go crying to the press, claiming they’ve “abandoned” you, when that clearly wasn’t the case. I think Mary is a lot smarter than the naive victim she and other people try to paint her as and I will never be able to sympathise with her, regardless of her difficult past or whatever. I think she’s manipulative and will always find a way to blame someone else. I’ve had enough experience with people like that in real life to know a red flag when I see one.

As for whether she wanted Freddie’s fortune or not…who knows? The way she worded it in the 2013 interview was almost as if Freddie had pressured her into it, which I personally felt was just another “look, I was the only person he could trust, he really wanted me to have it,” flex. If she really didn’t want it, I’m sure Freddie would have understood and it could have gone to a trust like she claims she suggested. But again, who knows. Just speculation on my side.

The reason why the pro-Jim side of the fandom is so vocal about the matter is because no one else is. Mary is revered as an angel in the fandom and never called out for her actions, while Jim is demonised on all social media platforms and in published biographies. If Mary was held accountable, we wouldn’t need to constantly bring up the shit she’s done. I wish I could say “it was what it was” and leave it at that, but it’s not that easy when we still have Mary fans harassing anyone who doesn’t see her as a God.

Sorry for the rant. I’m not having a dig at anyone who might sympathise or like Mary. I just feel like some people misunderstand why we don’t like her and might think we’re being unreasonable.

Look, personally, I honestly don't spend a lot of time outside of this small pocket of fandom. The Mary-Stan islands, the "true" Freddie Fan caves and the Barbara Valentin Valleys are all distant lands to me that I hear about but have never really visited. The Freddie-was-bi-brigade marches through here occasionally and I huff and tut at them, but really I quite enjoy the fact that where the RPF part of fandom and the tumblr Queen fandom is concerned, it seems to me that on the whole there's no doubt Jim was Freddie's partner and they loved each other very much, that Freddie was gay and Mary wasn't, in fact, the love of his life.

Yes, I'm aware those things are still widely disbelieved in other parts of the fandom and there's literal wars raging, and I guess sometimes it spills over onto tumblr, too. I understand, therefor, why there's some very strong sentiments about Mary.

However, just like I don't like to be made to feel as though I'm not "a real Freddie fan" unless I actively agree with xyz opinion about him, I also don't think anyone who has some sympathy for Mary or doesn't outright dislike her is automatically a "Mary simp". I do understand why people don't like Mary, I've read about the things you list above. I also can't say I like Mary, but I don't dislike her either. I don't feel like I really know a lot about her that isn't very open to interpretation. And yeah, I have some sympathy for her. I have some sympathy for Paul Prenter too, just by the way. And I've sometimes seen his and Mary's name censored with an asterisk, which for me personally is... just a step too far. It would be a step too far even with Bill Reid, imo, who was certifiably such a dick so much of the time and still, I'll maintain, he was also human and I can't say that I hate him. He was a guy. He had issues. Freddie dated him and if it was anyone's place to hate him then it was Freddie's.

Anyway, on all sides I've seen anons come out with some very strong words and feelings, that's so often the case with anons. Sometimes you'd think Paul Prenter stabbed Freddie and sold his organs on the black market, Jim cackled maniacally while he crushed every bone in his body, John Deacon sat at home burning Freddie voodoo dolls while Freddie was dying because he hates gay people so much and Mary strangled all his cats with her bare hands. I'm just not here for the extremes. 😂

I don't think anyone is unreasonable for disliking Mary. I see where you're coming from. I get it.

Meanwhile, I'm going to hold my more neutral course here, and I hope that's okay with you all, too.

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