#watching Hannibal but shaking my head so people know I don't approve of murder
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#tag talk#vent#I'm rewatching Hannibal and playing with the scars across my body. old. fresh. still bleeding. I'm sad. lonely. isolated.#that hunger. to find someone like you. to let someone know you. to find someone who understands you.#can you blame Hannibal? for wanting that from Will. the one person capable of it.#can you blame him for wanting to be understood. to be seen. to be known.#we go through life so lonely. some of us more than others.#we find solace in our similarities and division in our differences.#do you know what it's like to be so devastatingly different? so destructively separate?#do you know what it's like to trigger the fear of others. to be seen as creature rather than human.#yeah sure I'm neurodivergent. I diverge. that's a cute way of saying it.#you hike a well-worn path and look up to see my silhouette on the mountainside because I cannot drive myself to walk to common path.#I apologize to those I've accidentally kicked rocks down onto.#will you still be there when I come down from the mountain?#I hope y'all know I'm never a Hannibal apologist. he's a huge piece of shit and fundamentally doesn't respect others' self determination#Bella tries to die and he brings her back. he fucks with the human body eye art and changes the dude's vision#he tries his best to turn will into a reflection of himself#he lacks all respect for the autonomy of others. so like.. just in case you don't get it. Hannibal isn't a good guy.#watching Hannibal but shaking my head so people know I don't approve of murder#I wonder if I could convince my lover to cut me open some day#finally do that marking on my back I've wanted
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