#wasting their time and clearly not having fun because they think they're supposed to solve the puzzles that way

[heirhonkful]

Needless little rant about something similar that's been on my mind a lot.

Outer Wilds is my favorite game, and it annoys me to no end that people are unwilling to talk about its premise. Like, I get that it's cool to go in blind, I did that, and I often recommend that, but if someone is still like "we'll I dunno, I'd like to know something at least," it's so easy to just say something along the lines of:

"it's an exploration game where you solve a mystery in a timeloop by exploring a small solar system and learning about the dead civilization that inhabited it before you." And if you want to give more detail you can even say "you don't get any conventional power-ups or upgrades, you could potentially solve every puzzle right at the beginning of the game if you know how. Which makes learning new things you can do with your equipment, game mechanics, and learning about the locations you explore the things that allow you to progress."

So easy, all without actually spoiling anything or at all souring the experience. Hell, some people get mad at the idea about providing help to people who are stuck in the game. Sure, the game will tell you what to do. If anything, it feels almost handhold-y that way (although pretty subtly). But if your friend is having trouble, at least point them to the direction of the knowledge. Or even give them the answer if they're having a lot of trouble. I've seen so many people drop the game because they get stuck or (even worse) start trying to solve every puzzle blindly and ignoring the actual game (the exploration and greater mystery) because people hyped the game up too much and made it seem like the game is about something else. I just think people hype up the "go in blind" aspect and it ruins people's experience far more than any spoiler or help by putting so much pressure on "playing right" as opposed to enjoying the game.

Just finished severance season 1 god damn

[weaselsblaugh]

The Castlevania series in one sentence each - remastered chronicles requiem edition

Castlevania: Go kill Dracula and every single Universal Studios movie monster.

Castlevania [C64]: Playing "Vampire Killer" through a SID chip doesn't _always_ make it cooler.

Castlevania [Amiga]: You'll be fighting the control scheme more than you'll be fighting Dracula.

Castlevania [MSDOS]: Simon attains a skin tone more commonly associated with department store mannequins.

Vampire Killer: Go kill Dracula, if you don't get lost first.

Vampire Killer, take 2: Go kill Dracula's portrait painting.

Haunted Castle: Go kill Dracula, now with only one life and no continues.

Simon's Quest: Resurrect Dracula from spare parts just so you can kill him again.

The Adventure: Go kill Dracula, really slowly, because otherwise this blurry screen can't keep up with you.

Dracula's Curse: Two hundred years ago your ancestor looked exactly like you.

Dracula's Curse, take 2: Go kill Dracula with the Power of Friendship!* (Void where prohibited, party size not to exceed two members.)

Dracula's Curse, take 3: Go kill Dracula with the help of his rebellious son, a mage, or a landlocked pirate that climbs ceilings.

Belmont's Revenge: Your son was supposed to kill Dracula, but Dracula nabbed and brainwashed him, so it's all up to you again, because vampire hunter parenting is hard.

Castlevania 4: Go kill Dracula from any of eight directions you like, or waste all your time twiddling the whip around because it's fun.

Dracula X: Go kill Dracula in the most anime way you possibly can, at age 13, with all your cute animal friends.

Dracula X, take 2: Go kill Dracula with this key! (What do you mean it doesn't do anything?)

Dracula X, take 3: Castlevania's Greatest Hits album.

Peke: Go buy a Super CD-ROM² system card, _then_ we can talk about killing Dracula.

Peke [PS4]: Your favorite cheat code doesn't work.

X68000: Castlevania's other Greatest Hits album.

X68000, take 2: Is "bathead" supposed to be a pun on butthead?

Bloodlines: Go kill Gary Oldman's character from the hit Hollywood film, Bram Stoker's Dracula.

Dracula X [SNES]: The fire is prettier and the music is nicer but killing Dracula is way harder than it usually is this time.

Dracula X [SNES], take 2: Wait, haven't I seen this level before?

Castlevania 64: Go kill Dracula, assuming you're facing in the right direction first.

Castlevania 64, take 2: Go kill Dracula, provided you aren't hypnotized by the beautiful violin music on the title screen.

Symphony of the Night: Go kill Belmont...?

Symphony of the Night [true ending]: ˙ɐlnɔɐɹp llᴉʞ oפ

Symphony of the Night [Saturn]: Go kill Dracula and also the frame rate and any semblance of difficulty balance this game ever had.

Legacy of Darkness: The closest thing we'll get to a video game adaptation of Teen Wolf.

Legends: Go kill Dracula, but first, reproduce with his son, in what's arguably a way cooler origin story than Lament gave us (until Sonia got stricken from canon).

Resurrection: Sonia Belmont could have been in another game if only this one hadn't been cancelled.

Circle of the Moon: Go kill Dracula, provided you're able to see what you're doing and aren't tired of hearing The Sinking Old Sanctuary by the time you get there.

Harmony of Dissonance: Dracula's castle is stricken with a dissociative identity, or something, so go kill Dracula's WIP body (but not before you've finished decorating his guest bedroom for no particular reason...?).

Order of Shadows: Go kill Dracula and probably also your cell phone bill.

Aria of Sorrow: Go kill Dracula...wait, Dracula's already dead? Wait, this guy might be Dracula reborn? Wait, *I'M* Dracula?

Lament of Innocence: The Belmont Clan origin story gets totally retconned as Leon must go kill some vampire that isn't Dracula, since Dracula hasn't been born yet. (So what's he still doing here anyway?)

Lament of Innocence, take 2: Belmont May Cry (and probably does).

Dawn of Sorrow: Go kill these two jokers who think they're Dracula but can't possibly be because you're still Dracula, while the Belmont du jour keeps insisting that you Go Home and Be a Family Man.

Curse of Darkness: What was Lament missing? That's right: a furniture collecting sub quest and a pet raising metagame.

Portrait of Ruin: Dracula comes back because World War 2 was really sad. (Yes, really.)

Portrait of Ruin, take 2: Castlevania: the thrilling two on two on two tag team match, only on pay per view!

Portrait of Ruin, take 3: We make an attempt to reconcile Bloodlines into the canon by turning the bishounen Spaniard into a ghost cowboy and injecting a heaping helping of anime teen angst.

Portrait of Ruin, take 4: The Whip only works if you spend a couple minutes flinging custard pies at the ghost of Richter Belmont.

Portrait of Ruin, take 5: He's not Dracula but he's still a vampire, so please go whip the crap out of him with the help of your schoolgirl friend who slaps skeletons with books and sometimes turns you into a frog.

Dracula X Chronicles: Go kill Dracula, and in a twist exclusive to the remake, your girlfriend who is now a succubus.

Order of Ecclesia: We're supposed to kill Dracula with these fancy spells, but the only other guy here stole all of them and kidnapped the entire nearby village, so go beat him up and take them back so we can resurrect--I mean, KILL Dracula. It'll work, trust me!

Order of Ecclesia, take 2: go kill Dracula, but first, make the jeweler fall in love with you and take a picture of Bigfoot.

Judgment: Our timeline has so many holes and retcons in it that the only way to solve it is to have Death's brother Time show up and make everyone fight each other, which doesn't solve anything, but somebody had fun with it, I'm sure. (Probably only the artist.)

The Adventure Rebirth: The Castlevania game that nobody can buy anymore because it's marooned to an online service that closed down.

Lords of Shadow: Because Castlevania really needed to be more like...what was the big popular grim dark fantasy thing back then?

Harmony of Despair: Because clearly everybody's favorite part of SOTN was spending literal hours grinding for Crissaegrim, only now they can do it with friends.

Mirror of Fate: Go kill Dracula with crippling frame rate issues and falling damage.

Castlevania Puzzle: What do Castlevania fans want the most? Puyo Puyo, of course.

Lords of Shadow 2: Take me down to the Castlevania City, where the grass ain't green and the story ain't pretty.

The Arcade: It's like House of the Dead with whips.

The Pachislot: Wherein Konami refocused their efforts to appeal the franchise to only their most dedicated and loyal fans... Japanese gamblers.

The Netflix Original Series: Trevor is a foul mouthed drunk, there are frequent references to goat fucking, and somehow it's still better than the franchise has been for just shy of a decade.

Grimoire of Souls: What do Castlevania fans want the most? Fate Grand Order, of course.

[auteurdefeu]

I am so pleasantly surprised that people are willing to hear me out- Rhi and I accidentally created a full timeline of events for them and it started off nsfw (once again, it was supposed to be a JOKE) and then it became surprisingly emotional and just so?? Allow me to provide a few examples;

Pasha and Hunch knew each other pre-canon, and because of Tropes, it wouldn't be too insane to think that perhaps they liked each other but never acted upon it, always choosing to focus more on work... Hunch helping to set up Pasha and Fix because he knew she deserved someone good and he trusted Fix with his life

Fix realizing that despite how often distracted Hunch is, it's just because he loves the world and wants to know all about it. He truly means well, that's why he's a detective of the people, he helps them find the truth and find peace when he's not solving Elias' mysteries.

The poeticism of Fix and Hunch being two scarred men who fought on opposite sides of the law, their battles always ending the same way; Fix always won, and Hunch always lost. And yet, they still ended up on the same side.

Dan & Hunch still being uncles to all the Wayward Interests even when Hunch gets with their parents (we can agree Fix & Pasha are fully their parents now, right?). Dan keeps acting like he finds all the kids annoying and they're just little shits, but he so clearly cares about them and is often an enabler of their chaos. They are also the PDA couple that all the kids scream "EWWW" over, but Hunch is thankfully more subtle with their parents.

Hunch's partners all having an intervention with him about his wellbeing and how he needs to stop throwing himself into danger.

The Fix coming to him again to get patched up after an unexpected run in and Hunch realizing just how much worry he causes them when he gets hurt because he's absolutely fretting over Fix despite knowing he's more capable of taking care of himself than Hunch ever was.

Hunch learns so much and it makes him so happy. The kids are often telling him about their interests, something new every time he stops by, and Pasha & Fix's habits of flirting via fun facts carries over to him as well.

Pasha and Hunch going on cute little coffee dates, finally catching up on all that time they wasted before. Talking about their respective work, them both so happy to finally be taken more seriously in Mentopolis.

Fix still trying to figure out who he wants to be, and still unsure for a while what he feels about Hunch. He's never loved a man before, nor has he felt such deep affection for more than one person... but Hunch is willing to try things at his own pace, always happy to pursue something new.

Pasha and Dan drinking wine together talking about how oblivious their boys are. Actively working together to set the other two up- "I hope Fix takes his chance, I think they would do a world of good for each other..." "Hunch isn't even subtle! He's an oddly charming bastard, whether he means to be or not." Dan tried convincing Pasha to take bets with him on how long they'd take to make it official and she politely declined. She happens to know some of the older kids are doing the same thing.

The other kids have a better understanding of the relationship, and are happy that their parents are happy, while the younger ones are just happy seeing their Uncles more often.

They have been consuming my mind for DAYS NOW. Hunch/Fix in particular has made me extremely emotional but them overall is just so,,<333

If someone were to ever write fanfic/make fanart about any of this PLEASE let me know, I am desperate to see content for this silly crackship

Crackship polycule/open relationship where Dan & Hunch are in a happy relationship but Hunch is also with the Married Nerds (Pasha & Fix).

Someday, someone out there will hear me out. It was a joke until it wasn’t.