#wasn't I just talking about Victorian writers being parodies of themselves

[gothhabiba]

SHIELD FOR SORE NIPPLES.

Nov. 1, 1842.

The subject which I have the honour this evening to lay before you, and touching which I am called upon to address you, is one of deep and sympathising interest to us all as men, and particularly so in our relative situations as husbands and fathers, for it concerns the safety, welfare, and happiness of the tender sex,--the fairest portion of God's creatures,--dear, delightful, devoted woman,--a ministering angel sent by Heaven to soothe our anguish on the bed of sickness, to assuage our grief, and to share our joys in happiness and prosperity, to whom, also, we are indebted for most, if not all, our domestic happiness and comfort. Allow me, gentlemen, to tender to you my sincere and grateful acknowledgments for this opportunity which your kindness and courtesy have afforded me of calling your attention to this most interesting and important subject.

Is it not enough, gentlemen, that the tender object of our dearest affections should have been doomed by the common lot to pass through the perilous pangs of parturition, which, by the merciful dispensation of an all-wise Providence, she may be permitted to do in safety, without the additional suffering so often attendant upon the office, which, to a fond mother, conveys ineffable delight and joy, namely, of affording to her infant offspring that support which nature has provided for it?

It too frequently happens, gentlemen, that this delectable prospect of maternal felicity is nipped in the bud, or annihilated by an occurrence, in itself, at first, apparently not of much moment, yet too often it is the precursor of the most distressing and disastrous consequences, namely, a sore nipple, which, from time immemorial, has baffled the most skilful medical treatment. The part becomes irritated from the action of the child's mouth, and the vacuum produced thereby, which is increased by atmospheric pressure, inflammation succeeds, the vessels are ruptured by the combined action of these causes, and the unhappy mother withdraws her gory nipple from the infant's boneless gums. Worn out with corporeal pain and mental anguish, she is most reluctantly compelled for its preservation to resign the offspring of her bosom, perhaps the first pledge of conjugal love, to the tender mercies and the bosom of a stranger, thence to derive its nourishment and support. Thus is she deprived of those delightful anticipations and pleasurable prospects which the performance of her maternal duty had pictured to her fond and fertile imagination. Gentlemen, the mischief, unfortunately, does not end here ; the inflammation extends to the gland, the escape of the milk is prevented, fever supervenes, often attended with delirium, an abscess

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Now, gentlemen, this little apparatus which I have the honour to submit to your notice possesses these great desiderata. As a preventive, it is requisite only to say that it effectually accomplishes the desired end, by being applied immediately after delivery. Its curative character consists in the nipple being immersed in a lotion produced by a lactate of lead, formed by the lactic acid acting upon the metal, the whole contained in a reservoir, as it were, in the cavity of the shield, which, by adhering closely, prevents pressure, and may therefore be worn with the dress. It is, in fact, a perfect ægis. I have used these shields in the most severe cases in a somewhat extensive practice for upwards of a quarter of a century, even though the nipple has suppurated and sloughed to the extent of half its volume, threatening the destruction of the whole. I have never experienced a failure. Yes, gentlemen, this little apparently trifling and intrinsically valueless article, because formed of a material in the lowest scale of metallurgy, possesses, nevertheless, powerful properties when put to the proof, producing the most pleasurable operation upon the principle of philanthropy.

--T. W. Wansbrough, Transactions of the Society, Instituted at London, for the Encouragement of Arts, Manufactures, and Commerce, Vol. 54 (1843-1844), pp. 144-151

I have three words from this Victorian housekeeping guide that I guarantee you do not want to hear