#was basically studying my ass off last night bc i don't remember anything

[embracingwild]

giving a guest lecture this afternoon and the worst part is that i have to wear real clothes and not one of my variations of sweatpants and a hoodie

[wave2tyun]

alex!! i saw ur lil ramble last night and i totally get what u mean abt being paralysed from emotions..

sometimes it gets to the point where im kinda numb and just let myself rot which.. i never used to do cuz i used to just deal w it and not let myself process anything and tbh not doing anything scares me 😭 but its so good that uve been getting urself up and doing basic stuff, being kind to yourself has also really helped even if its hard most days

and on homesickness! i think i remember seeing u study abroad, me too!!! i hope you're finding people and things that take your mind off of it bc it honestly helps hehe and i hope u can keep in touch w people from home too every now then.

life's so crazy and uncertain sometimes i wish i was like 16 forever ... but its fine.. i hope you'll see much better days too 💕💗💓💞💘

hiiii!!!🥹🥹💞💖 omg i'm so sorry for taking this long to reply to your ask- uni has been quite exhausting and i didn't want to hurriedly write something back to you :(((((((<3

it's the exact same situation for me as well, i never used to do it or at least not this much/often:( and sometimes it's like i randomly snap back to reality in the middle of it and it makes me feel so guilty....😭 it scares me as well, making me feel like there's just something wrong with me. i keep telling myself that there must be a better way to spend my free time or deal with x thing than just letting myself rot. i'm trying to make a change, and just like you said, being kind to yourself can really help- you don't need to have this crazy ass routine and not every day has to be super productive for you to feel proud of how you spent your time- which is why i think it's really important to start giving yourself a pat on the back for doing or simply attempting to do even the most basic of chores, such as preparing a meal!!

and omg you're studying abroad too??🥹🥹 it's an experience that i don't regret, but homesickness can strike so hard on some days!! it was difficult dealing with it during my 1st semester at uni because i felt lonely and didn't really know people, but now it's better!! i found some people that i really click with and we've been getting closer, i have some plans to hang out with them soon actually and i will visit my family at the end of april too🥹 sometimes even just having a phone call with your parents can help, finally getting a chance to take a break from english and speak in your native language can feel so relieving??😭😭😭

ahhhhh i wish so too:( things were so much simpler and we most likely didn't even fully realise it. but it's okay, despite our hardships having taken a much more different shape, i think we'll be able to get through it, things will turn out alright!!!! :(<333