#warning i am very much on my 'this shit ain't healthy' soapbox here so

[kariachi]

Have not-really-Gwen-or-Gwevn-positive thoughts in the head and want to get them down. Going under a readmore because I know fans follow me and y’all don’t want this shit.

Just, lots of thoughts, mind was spinning last night in bed, so figuring where to start....

I think how much Gwen respects Kevin is kinda wibbly? Like, we all know she cares greatly, but caring isn’t respecting. I mean so much of early Gwevin is Kevin respecting her initial ‘not interested’ boundary while she’s actively pressuring and belittling him over his lack of action on his interest. Like, it was one thing back when that shit aired and I could sit there and go ‘ah, this will be her character growth is learning to respect him and that she isn’t owed his affection no matter how he feels’ but looking back and knowing that that’s not going to happen? That instead 90% of the time with the pair of them it’ll be Gwen’s way or the highway, even when Kevin’s position is justified (*coughcough*Enemy of My Frenemy*coughcough*).

And honestly I’d put this under.... I’m not sure how to phrase this... Gwen Tennyson the top tier student. Gwen Tennyson the hero. Gwen Tennyson the extremely-talented-sorceress. Gwen Tennyson the martial arts master. Gwen Tennyson the responsible one. Gwen Tennyson the capable and successful. I feel like Gwen probably has herself up on a pedestal, no so much in the ego way as the ‘under a lot of pressure’ way. Her mother has high expectations for her, she internalized those, and then she found herself with world saving going on which only made things a bigger deal. Which ties into the other shit because I kinda feel like she puts herself on a pedestal both because she’s put in a lot of work and has earned a bit of a pedestal and... Phrasing... If you tell yourself you’re right, you know what you’re doing, you can do whatever, then you don’t have to worry about the expectations dogging at your heels. Problem being that from up there it’s really easy to, even without meaning to, find yourself looking down on other people.

The line between, say, ‘there’s mutual attraction here, but he’s not comfortable, why’ and ‘there’s mutual attraction here, he’s not acting on it because something is wrong with him, I need to fix this’ becomes so much easier to cross. Because you’re right (of course you’re right, you can’t be wrong that would be a failure and you don’t fail) and you know best (of course you know best, you can’t be wrong-) and little things like his feelings and comfort are just in the way of you fixing everything.

And actually, side tangent, this plays into- I think Gwen may have a bit of a savior complex going on? Not like massive but, half her shit with Kevin, falling hook line and sinker the second Pandor went “I haven’t told anybody else but I’m totally dying and need you to save me”, more than half her shit with Charmcaster including deciding to store the woman in a bag for an undetermined length of time so she can ‘help’ her whether she likes it or not and without any sort’ve legal backing or representation for Charm. Like, damn G. We always talk about Ben having a hero complex but, I don’t think she’s immune y’all.

But, okay, back on topic, back to shit tied to the whole ‘questioning respect levels’ thing- Gwen has used physical violence to punish Kevin repeatedly, just because she’s unhappy with him. Yes, I see you fuckers in the back groaning about “oh gods Achi’s still on this soapbox” I ain’t leaving it! It’s fucked up!

We’ve got Too Hot To Handle, where Gwen’s response to Kevin’s “I don’t trust that guy and anyway it’s too dangerous to the local populace to let him loose” is to drop him out of the air. Not cool. If your partner does something equivalent to this, leave them. Don’t think I haven’t seen fuckers class this and similar shit under “sometimes you hurt the people you love” like this wasn’t deliberately attempting physical harm as a punishment.

We have Showdown, where her response to Kevin making a joke at her expense and Ben laughing at it is to shove them both into free fall. “But Achi that was mean of him” Yes it was! And she was right to be angry at him for it! But that is something you give someone a- reasonable- cold shoulder for until you can talk to them later about the matter. It is not something you shove someone out of a plane without safety gear over! They could’ve pressed charges! Depending on local law that would’ve been at least assault, possibly attempted manslaughter. That was, quite simply, banking on the Omnitrix not having one of it’s difficult moments and/or Kevin having the energy to shapeshift (and I’m being nice and assuming she knows that’s something he’s capable of without drawing from the Omnitrix) to keep them from going splat! “But it’s supposed to be funny” I don’t know who came up with this idea that characters’ actions don’t count if the viewer is meant to laugh but guess what, it’s still the characters’ actions and it’s entirely right to judge them on them.

And I still am not sure how I feel about Undercover. Though I do find a sad amusement that the wiki describes the scene where the team use Kevin essentially as a gong as- and I quote- “Kevin absorbs the metal and Ben transforms into Echo Echo. Gwen tricks the guards into opening the door and they escape from the cell. Gwen hits the metal and Echo Echo amplifies the sound”. Which I guess should probably answer my ‘was this entirely on the up-and-up’ question, if the fucking wiki is talking circles to not mention that Gwen’s specifically hitting a metal-coated Kevin. Because here’s the thing, the actions taken were necessary, but the enjoyment Gwen took out of them and the implication that she hit him harder than she had to because she was aggravated with him? When taken in combination with the other shit? Bad taste in the mouth. Like, have the episode in front of me and, she’s throwing multiple shots in one go, Kevin is visibly and audibly in pain, to put it in perspective he’s showing no reaction to being shot repeatedly but was near begging for them to finish up in Los Soledad after the whole resonance maneuver. On it’s own it’d be acceptable, more or less, due to circumstances, but, keeping in mind that later she’ll respond to a meanish joke by shoving him into freefall...

Like, I’m not about to say I think she beats him for fun or some shit, she’s not the type, but that shit up there’s not okay. Again, if your partner thinks using physical pain to punish you outside of agreed upon and consented kink contexts, get the fuck out of there. I worry about some of y’all.

And the thing is, I do think there’s more shit than what we’re shown. Somebody who, when upset with their partner, will, in front of witnesses, shove them to what could well be their death? Isn’t going to be someone who doesn’t do shit in private. Again, I doubt it’s a ‘she beats him for shits and giggles’ situation, but I wouldn’t be surprised to find out that she does smaller things like tripping him, swatting him with things, directly or with her powers shoving him, when she’s annoyed with him or they’re arguing.

I think it’s likely there’s a couple different things behind the behavior. Starting off with the respect thing (doesn’t respect his boundaries, doesn’t respect his right to not be assaulted), probably a decent chunk of ‘I’m a good person so-’, plus the savior stuff (a boy’s gotta learn-), his powers making the things she does less physically damaging than if she was pulling it with like Julie or somebody, the ongoing cultural lean towards ‘guys can’t be abused especially not by women’-

I don’t think she’s a bad person at heart, I think if she got slapped with some proper consequences for this shit, if just in the form of people around her going ‘wtf that’s not cool’, she’d probably figure it out and put in the effort to stop. But, I also think the most likely explanation for the boundary trampling and the aggression is simply that as of canon she doesn’t see a problem. She likely sees her actions as her fixing him, making him a better person, because she’s good and loves him and both knows and wants best, without seeing that the way she goes about it is very wrong. That it goes beyond any punishment he may deserve. And that his boundaries and comfort zones should be respected no matter how much they may inconvenience her.

Yeah, so... There’s some thoughts right there.