#wait that sounds actually interesting. I'd rather be reading about engineering and geometry. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

featherymainffins · 21 hours ago

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I'll be real when I started a book club as a part of our university's queer club I wasn't expecting literally everyone there to be interested pretty much exclusively in lighthearted romance books, ie the exact genre that makes me want to climb onto a pyre and call myself Jeanne d'Arc.

#it's like love and light but what. what is there to discuss about a coffee shop easily digestible romance book. what do you need #to discuss about it. there's nothing. this is empty. it's popcorn. there's very little to discuss about an average slasher movie #and just like that there is very little to discuss about a calm cozy relaxing heartwarming comfy domestic romance #and I'm not pissing on the genre here I'm just still confused and frustrated because i have no idea what to do #because hey. it's torture for me to read. i feel like I'm losing my life with every word. I'd rather be reading about opium #wait that sounds actually interesting. I'd rather be reading about engineering and geometry.#AND for some ungodly reason the members of the book club want to get to know us; the hosts #like no I'm not your friend I'll never be your friend I'd never be your friend i want you 2 meters away from me at all times #it's nothing against them but I have a role. the role is a member of the coordination team.#they have a role too - they are the people using this service. they're members. they're clients; essentially #i provide a service out of my own free will. you could say that i AM a service. you don't get to know your doctor.#you don't become friends with your social worker. you aren't besties with your therapist. im no different #the person i am outside of these events is something completely different than what i am during them.#my personhood ceases to exist the moment an event is held and it revisits my body when i leave the event #and as a person I don't like meeting new people and i don't like getting to know new people and i function the best when i #regularly see like 5 different people and when everyone else is a casual acquaintance only interacted with during group events #like i like our members but they scare me ok? because they want me to be a person and they want to get to know ne #but there's nothing in me and if there was i wouldn't want them to know because i don't want to be a person to them at all #and mainly i just. have no idea what to do because there's no way to make these meetings last more than 10 minutes #because they all want to read. cozy romance. which is my personal horrible no good nightmare and literally the opposite of #the reason for starting the club but hey. I'm not a person and I don't get a say in this.

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