#virgin dick cheney's hunting buddy vs chad alexander hamilton

[thebreakfastgenie]

wait does Dick Cheney shooting a man count? it was an accident and the guy lived and everything. but the guy did apologize. to Dick Cheney. who shot him. in the face.

Sarah I humbly request ur top 5 funniest US political scandals -ypq

okay so caveat that there are niche scandals that are funnier I'm just drunk and don't remember

Watergate - everything about it is so fucking stupid

Clinton impeachment - also a lot of stupid decisions here, the president saying "it depends on what the meaning of is is," the Republicans having to can Newt as speaker because he was having an affair with a staffer too and it looked bad, having to ditch one candidate to replace him because he was also having an affair, and finally landing on Hastert (who is an actual pedophile), just the part where Republicans were so sure public opinion would come around but people mostly wanted to stop hearing explicit details about the president's sex life.

idk if this counts as a scandal but the Army McCarthy hearings - if for no other reason than opposing counsel forcing the word "fairy" into the conversation as a microaggression against Roy Cohn

Iran-Contra - the guy who set the whole thing up was an insane grifter/arms dealer and no one even knows for sure who he really was. He took a polygraph and failed everything including his name which might be because polygraphs are bullshit but also he could totally have been lying about his name. might have been lying about his nationality. probably was lying about everything else. definitely was lying about how he could totally get those hostages out of Lebanon by selling weapons to Iran. we sold the weapons through Israel (they wanted to prolong a war between Iran and Iraq so both would be too busy to attack them, they were fine with people dying) and one time they showed up in Iran with a giant Star of David on them. this only got linked to the Contras in Nicaragua when Ollie North and company realized this operation which rescued net zero hostages (one guy did get released but someone else got taken hostage immediately) was turning a profit and used it to solve the problem of "we want to fund a right-wing paramilitary but Congress won't let us :(" also one of the other arms dealers involved was Adnan Kashoggi, uncle of murdered journalist Jamal Kashoggi, and he owned a yacht that was a notorious party boat and where Queen once attended a party. they wrote a song about it called Kashoggi's ship. there were rumors that it was an orgy but it probably wasn't. several people have owned the yacht since including, for a while, Donald Trump.

Alger Hiss and the secret pumpkin - some people thought Alger Hiss and Whittaker Chambers were gay and these people included Richard Nixon. also there was a pumpkin involved (used to hide microfilm)

honorable mention to Obama wearing a tan suit

whatever Trump has going on - it's gonna be even funnier in like 20 years when we all have some distance also maybe he'll have died in prison by then