#viola y you so stubborn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theasstour · 5 years ago

Photo

𝓞𝓻𝓰𝓪𝓼𝓶 𝓫𝔂 𝓟𝓪𝓾𝓵𝓪 𝓐𝓷𝓭𝓻𝓮𝓪 𝓟𝔂𝓵𝓮

𝓯𝓲𝓬 𝓹𝓪𝓰𝓮 | 𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽: 16.3k 𝓝𝓑: 𝓮𝔁𝓹𝓵𝓲𝓬𝓲𝓽 𝓵𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓪𝓰𝓮, 𝓼𝓮𝔁𝓾𝓪𝓵 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓷𝓽

A/N: biggest thanks to @shepherald for being bb’s italian auntie! ilysm!

Friday, 2 August 2019

Y/N was just about to start cleaning up her dinner when three knocks sounded from her front door. She looked over at Viola who slept peacefully in their bed, not even opening an eye to look in the direction of the taps. Her mind instantly went to who could possibly be knocking on her door. It wouldn’t be Salvatore after last night, Y/N had a suspicion he might not want to confront the situation, only let it slide by till it was irrelevant and gone. Neither would it be Rin or Meo, they were mates with Salvatore but Y/N knew they were their own people and would probably have gone to check on her if they actually knew where she lived. It wouldn’t be Gioele, neither Jamie. And just like that, she was running out of people it could be.

She walked to the door, opening it so her head could stop spinning with possible outcomes to what was about to happen. But she started dizzying even more when she saw who stood there.

“Harry.”

He was wearing his dungarees again, another one of his white tank tops, and pink Converse. When she opened the door and said his name, he looked up from the ground. The alcohol from last night had worn off, the lack of sleep he’d gotten and a slight headache showed in the small circles under his eyes and tired irises. He ran a hand through his hair, getting a curl away from before his eyes. Y/N hadn’t thought Harry would show up, even after what happened the night before. She herself didn’t quite understand the whole situation; why it had been hard to sleep last night because she couldn’t get the feeling of Harry’s lips against her skin out of her head. She remembered everything so incredibly clearly, every little detail. And now Harry was here. Out of free will. Knocking at her door. The day after he’d stood up for her in that pub and kissed her hand.

“What’re you doing?” he asked, voice weak as he probably hadn’t spoken till now today. Quickly, he cleared his throat.

Y/N looked over at her kitchen, but Viola stroking her back against her leg stopped her from answering. A small meow and a flick of her tail later, and Harry was hunched down, petting her. Y/N just watched as Viola closed her eyes and moved closer to Harry, purring her approval of him being there. Swiftly, he picked her up, hugging her to his chest while scratching Viola behind her ears. Harry looked from Viola and at Y/N, encouraging her to answer his previous question. However, it was hard when someone who had all her emotions kind of confused and her stomach doing funny things, stood right before you cuddling your cat, looking all adorable and insanely sexy at the same time. She scratched at her neck, keeping her eyes on Viola.

“About to make some dinner.” She said.

“And how is it?”

Her eyes met his, a little taken aback by his interest in something as simple as what her dinner was going to be. “Good.” She simply replied, not really knowing what else he wanted her to say.

“So you’re doing okay? After last night?”

She felt herself take a huge inhale of air along with the tingles that ran up her spine, all the way out to her fingertips. Something about Harry needing to know she was alright got to her; something about the urgency in his voice made her entire body sing with a feeling she couldn’t quite put a word to. Biting her lips together, she tried to calm her goosebumps before speaking again.

“Depends on which part you’re referring to.”

“All of it.” He said, Viola stroking her forehead against his jawline. “The bar…” he trailed off, swallowing hard as his jaw tensed for a single second. “Fucking Salvatore touchin-“ he stopped himself, taking a deep breath. “Me coming back to your flat, us talking…” she could tell he was going to say more, but thought better of it.

“Okay with everything.” She answered and she could just see the sigh of relief that left Harry. “Besides the Salvatore bit, of course. But… he acted like that before you came into the pub anyway-“

“-He what?”

Her mouth fell open and she looked into his eyes again. “He was drunk-“

“-That’s no excuse, Y/N. Did he make you uncomfortable?”

He’d never acted like this before. The only other time he had showed that he didn’t stand for people mistreating her was the night before, other than that he hadn’t been particularly nice to her either. But, somewhere along the line, that must’ve changed. And she supposed it must’ve changed for her as well. That still didn’t make this whole situation less surreal. Harry truly did care about her, in his own way. It was all a lot.

“Well?” he asked, still petting Viola, though the movements of his hand were a little hasty.

“Yes.”

Harry inhaled sharply through his nose, looking about him as anger visibly clouded his eyes and appeared in every single one of his limbs. She could tell he wanted to find Salvatore and say or do God knows what. He was about to walk down the stairs, but then seemed to remember he was holding Viola. Desperately looking around for something, she started snickering a little to herself. He looked ridiculous. But it was somehow a little… cute.

“I’m gonna fucking…” he didn’t finish his sentence, but Y/N could kind of guess where it was going.

“Harry, it’s okay-“

“-I swear to God, Y/N, if you excuse his behaviour one more time I’m gonna go fucking berserk.”

Viola started moving around in Harry’s hands, getting restless, and the look on Harry’s face made Y/N chuckle again.

“What’re you laughing at? I’m serious.” He asked, trying to calm the little cat down by scratching her again.

“Nothing.” Y/N said, holding a hand in front of her mouth as she laughed again.

Just then, the right side of his lips tipped upward again as he watched her. Viola restless in his hands and a curl hanging before his eyes. He quickly looked away, though the smile he was trying to fight didn’t go completely away. Seeing him like that, all angry yet soft, made a slight heat rise to her cheeks, making her entire body react with it.

“If I ever see him again, I’m gonna bloody knock his teeth out.” Harry mumbled, hunching down and putting Viola down on the floor so she could walk back into the flat.

Y/N leaned against the doorframe. “Why?”

“Because… ‘cause…” he stammered, watching as Viola strolled into the flat safely before rising up into a straightened position. As their eyes met, Y/N could swear her heart skipped a little beat. Something about him in the bad lighting of the staircase made him look beautiful in another way than he did normally. It was the darkness of night, the promise that darkness held. The uncertainty and possibilities a night held, like everything that was possible during the day could happen, only more intense and out of control; just the way you wanted it to happen, yet not how you imagined in the slightest.

“’Cause he made you uncomfortable.” He said finally.

She gave him a little smile. “And you don’t think I can tell him myself? That he stepped over a line?”

“Not that,” Harry shook his head a few times. “I believe you’re capable of whatever you put your stubborn fucking mind to.”

This made Y/N throw her head back a little to laugh. When she looked back at him, he was watching her with that tiny smile of his on his lips.

“Gonna stand behind you and let you tell him to fuck off and eat some bad mozzarella, and then-“

“-Random.”

Harry giggled. “Then I’m gonna step in and give him a nice punch straight to the nose.”

Y/N laughed again, shaking her head at him.

“I’ve done gymnastics for a reason, now I can throw a punch to his skull and break it if you’d like me to.”

She laughed, holding a hand to her chest. Their eyes met.

“Wanna go to the bakery now? Bet we’re just able to make it before they close.”

Chuckling, she said, “You’re mental.”

Harry shrugged his shoulders. “It’s what needs to be done.”

“And as much as I would love to see you flatten Salvatore to the ground,” Harry snickered at her choice of words. “I don’t think violence is the way to go.”

He inhaled hugely, nodding his head as he let his eyes linger on her face, taking in her features for a few long seconds. “Fine, yeah. You’re right.”

She smiled at him. “Why’re you here anyway? To just stand there in my doorway?”

“Session.”

She frowned. “What, now?”

“Yes, so get dressed, we’re going for a drive.” He said, shoving his hands into the pockets of his dungarees. He turned, beginning on his walk down the stairs to the ground floor. “10 minutes.” He simply shouted over his shoulder, not giving her anything else before he disappeared, giving her no choice but to do as he asked.

Quickly, she got ready as she always did. Found a pair of knee socks, her doc Martens, the dress, and everything else she might need for their session. Harry always gave her a day or so notice before they had a session, but he’d never done this before. She didn’t know what she thought he was doing at her door now anyway, but maybe she’d forgotten about a mail he’d sent her? Maybe he’d told her days ago and she’d just forgotten? This wasn’t like him at all. However, she wasn’t about to tell him that. She was very spontaneous herself, so seeing Harry – someone that was usually her opposite in that sense – be spontaneous as well, not go according to his usual plans, made her feel something she wasn’t sure she’d ever felt before. She gave Viola a quick kiss to the forehead before she ran outside, locked the door, and then went downstairs to catch Harry.

He was standing there with his yellow moped, all his equipment and bag on the ground beside him. She huffed a little.

“We’re taking your moped?”

“Yes,” Harry said. “Now hop the fuck on.”

“Y/N!”

They both looked further up the road where a figure was moving toward them in the dark of the evening, waving an arm and laughing a familiar laughter. She recognised him instantly, smiling back at him.

“Marco!” She stepped away from the door into her building, closing it firmly behind her. “How are you?”

“Good,” he answered, stopping as he reached them. “Just closed the Panetteria.”

Y/N chanced a look at Harry who was already staring at her. They both undoubtedly thought of the same thing; their conversation earlier, and how if they were quick enough, they could make the bakery before it closed so Harry could give Salvatore a black eye. She bit her lip a little before looking back at Marco, who looked at her just as happily as before.

“You’re coming to the wedding 9th August, yes?” Marco asked, adjusting his glasses a little.

“We haven’t gotten the invitations yet.” Y/N pointed out, shrugging her shoulders a little.

“10am, 9th, the church in town. Signor Styles knows where it is.” Marco said, smiling at Harry standing beside Y/N. Harry gave the baker a little wave, stunning Marco so that he took a small step back. It was obvious the old man hadn’t initially expected a reaction from the painter. Marco laughed a little before looking back at Y/N. “La Serenata is the 8th.”

She furrowed her brows. “La what?”

“La Serenata.” Harry repeated, making Y/N glance his way again. “It’s this old Italian tradition, it’s fallen out of fashion in recent years, but people still tend to do it in Fosdinovo. Old village with old traditions and all that.” He shrugged. “The night before the wedding, the groom serenades the bride from outside her window in celebration of their impending union. Sometimes the bride will lower a basket of gifts such as prosciutto, bread, and cheese. It all symbolises her acceptance of the proposal a second time around.”

“That’s so cute!” Y/N grinned, looking at Marco again. “Where’d that be? The bride’s house?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” the baker nodded “On Via Papiriana. Come, come!”

“Oh, I don’t know.” Y/N sighed. “We don’t even know the couple.”

“You need to experience La Serenata! It’s Fosdinovo tradition!” Marco encouraged, using his arms enthusiastically as he spoke, and Y/N couldn’t help herself, she had to chuckle a little.

“Fine, I’ll be there.”

“Signor Styles too?”

Y/N and Marco both looked at Harry, who suddenly seemed uncomfortable with the attention they were giving him. He cleared his throat. “I’ll have a think about it.”

“He’ll be there, Marco. Thanks for inviting us.”

Marco gave them both a little bow, saying his goodbye and telling Y/N he’d see her soon. With that, the old baker started making his way up the road again, on his way home to relax after a day at work.

“What if I don’t wanna go?” Harry asked her, obviously annoyed she’d taken his spare time and plans into her own hands.

“You’ll have to show me to the bloody street, won’t you?” She looked at him, taking the helmet he was reaching out for her. “Let’s go, Signor Styles.”

“Don’t say that.”

She giggled, motioning for him to get on first as she took his bag on her back. He did, watching her as she got the rucksack on, making sure she was okay before he turned to put his hands on the handles. Unlike the time before, she wasn’t reluctant to be close to Harry now. She thought they might’ve stepped over that line last night when he kissed her hand, or when he chose for them to take his moped instead of letting Gioele drive them.

Getting on, she slid down the seat until her front was flush against Harry’s back, her exposed skin against his. Every single millimetre where her body met his, she was ultra-aware. It was like she’d grown some sort of new power; feeling the shifting of his cells against hers, feeling them intermingle and get familiar with one another. She bit her lip a little, wrapping her arms around his waist while he got the ignition going. As he placed his arm back against his form, the soft skin of the underside of his upper arm meeting hers, her entire body went up in flames. He was so soft, so opposite to what he’d shown her before last night, and she was starting to realise that she needed to take a much closer look at this man to get a better grasp of him. Taking a small glance over his shoulder to make sure she was comfortable and safe, Harry revved the engine, and they drove off again.

It didn’t take long for Y/N to recognise the road to Lerici. The night around them had made it hard for her to make it out at first, but she saw the sign welcoming them and then the little coastal town rose up around them. The familiar smell of salt in the air was refreshing, and she closed her eyes as she let it become everything she knew for a few moments. This time around, Harry didn’t drive them up the road to the cliff, but rather down a very small gravel path Y/N was sure was mainly made for pedestrians. Soon enough, they were by the tiny beach she’d seen from the cliff last time. There was no sign of anyone having ever been there, though she supposed the path made it evident that someone had. It seemed untouched and ancient, the kind of place you dreamed of and saw pictures of but never thought you’d actually see. But here she was.

Harry stopped the moped, cutting the engine and looking over his shoulder for Y/N to step off first. She took the helmet off first, before placing her hands on Harry’s shoulders, and – not so gracefully – stepping off. Harry tried getting off a little too early, causing Y/N, who was putting her weight on him, to stumble. The skirt of her dress rode up, exposing part of her upper thigh, some of her bum, and most definitely a small view of her knickers. She squealed, quickly straightening it all out before daring to look at Harry. He was watching her, clearly having stopped in the middle of his own process of getting off when he saw the whole scene unfold before him. As their eyes met, he quickly looked away. She thought she could just about make out a slight redness to his cheekbones that usually wasn’t there.

She gave him the helmet and he put it under the seat of the moped, biting his lips together. Instead of thinking about what had just happened, Y/N turned her attention back on the beach before her. She hadn’t noticed the full moon till now, how it was a little bigger tonight, how it shone in the dark ocean. If she didn’t know better, she thought this might’ve been Harry’s intention all along.

“Right,” Harry said, walking down toward the street. Y/N followed suit. “I need you to stand in the ocean.”

She frowned, giving the rucksack with all his equipment to him. He raised his eyebrows.

“What?”

“Then I’ll have to take my knee socks off.”

Harry’s eyes fell to her white knee socks where they lingered for a few seconds before he gave her a short nod and looked away. Y/N felt herself swallow quite hard, the effect of Harry’s stare running through her body like a wave of tickles. However, quickly recovering and not wanting Harry to know him looking at her like that had an effect on her, Y/N let out a laugh.

“What now?” he asked, refusing to look at her.

She was genuinely laughing now.

“Is this a piss take?”

She snorted. “They’re just my legs, Harry.”

“Yeah?”

She raised her eyebrows, finding it amusing how he busied himself with his rucksack and everything else instead of looking at her. “You can look at me while I take them off.”

“Are you encouraging me to watch you undress?”

Y/N put her hand before her mouth as she laughed, not being able to help herself. She snorted, as she often did when she laughed hard enough, and though she remembered a time long ago when she used to be embarrassed of that sound, she wasn’t anymore. Opening her eyes, she saw Harry watching her now. Both his dimples showing along with small crinkles by his eyes, teeth bright in the moonlight. His shoulders and chest moved with laughter as well, and the sound sent shivers up Y/N’s spine.

She recovered, trying to calm herself down a little bit. Harry might be fit, but he was not allowed to have that kind of effect on her. She bent down, untying her docs, and stepping out into the sand with her socks on. Hooking her thumb and index finger on the inside of one of her knee socks, she slid it down her leg putting it in her shoes when it was off. Discreetly, she looked in Harry’s direction, only to notice him watching her. As soon as he saw her eyes on him, he looked away, clearing his throat before directing his attention at the positioning he wanted for the painting. She bit her bottom lip from smiling.

Now barefoot, Y/N started walking into the ocean, stopping when the water just reached her knees. She looked over her shoulder, waiting for Harry to redirect her as he hadn’t given her any clear directions as to how he wanted her to be standing for this one. However, he didn’t even acknowledge her looking at him. Instead, he was sat in the sand, the canvas propped on a small easel before him, and the paint palette in his hand. Cocking his head to the side, he started painting. Y/N looked ahead, taking in the yellow state of the moon that night.

“You know,” she started, listening to the waves softly hitting the shore around her. “You’ve never told me what this collection is about, like what you’re trying to tell. I’m assuming it’s a kind of story, innit?”

“You’ve never asked.” He replied, as if it was the most obvious answer.

“I need to ask?”

“You think I’m just gonna tell you?”

She bent down a bit, running her hand through the moving sea beneath her. “People who are passionate about stuff they’re doing tend to talk about it, and it’s also very fun to listen to them. Nice to listen to someone being happy. When people talk about something that keeps them living, you find a new reason to yourself.”

“Find a new reason to live in seeing someone else talk about something they’re passionate about?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Makes you see that there’s a reason for everyone out there. Though you might not have found your own yet, you will eventually, you know?”

Harry fell silent for a moment before, “I’m still not telling you.”

Y/N groaned, standing up straight again. “Why?”

“I just…” he shrugged. “Don’t wanna.”

She sighed. “You know, in order to properly make a connection with someone, you gotta open up to people.”

Waves crashed around them, filling the silence since Harry’s response didn’t. She dared to look over her shoulder at him, finding him already staring at her, pencil held up against the canvas, paused mid stroke. When their eyes met, Y/N had to concentrate on standing upright. It was hard to remain balanced when two intense eyes were unashamedly glancing at her, mulling over her words.

“That’s a heavy subject to be discussing on the beach at night.” Harry said before he went back to painting again.

Y/N smiled. “Isn’t that something we should be discussing on the beach at night? Seems like the right setting, doesn’t it? Poetic and all that.” She looked ahead again, staring at the big full and yellow moon before her. “Sorry, I won’t push you. I take it all back.”

“Thank you.” He said.

Y/N resorted to studying the landscape around her. She glanced up at the cliff where she had found Viola, where she had first seen Harry smile, and remembering all the times she’d seen him smile since. With all that, she realised how far they had come. Harry, who was so set on her following his rules he’d put for the summer and for her to follow his orders, that same bloke hadn’t told her how to stand for his painting today; he smiled at her; he showed up on her doorstep when he’d been the one to say he didn’t want a relationship with her outside work. Look at them now, she thought, feeling something in her chest warm up.

“You went quiet.” Harry said suddenly.

“Isn’t that good?” she asked, inhaling. “Remember you said you didn’t want me to talk to you while you were painting. It was one of the set rules for the summer.”

“That was then.”

Y/N bit her lip, eyes falling to the dark water beneath her. “Oh?”

“It’s… it’s…” he started, searching for the right words. “I don’t mind now.”

Her heart was hammering, the smile on her face ridiculous. God, was she happy Harry couldn’t see her face now. “Don’t mind me talking?”

“No.”

Her smile widened; her chest felt warmer. “Good to hear, because I like to talk.”

“That you do.”

She giggled. “Do you like it when I talk, Harry?”

The question was an obvious piss take. She wasn’t expecting a response, at least not a proper one. The two of them had grown into a nice habit of taking the mick out of one another every once in a while, so she was waiting for Harry to follow her lead. Instead, he left her breathless. All joking about gone.

“Yes.”

Her mouth fell open and her eyes stared blankly at the moon. He… he liked it when she talked? Had she heard him right? Was he joking along, but she just hadn’t understood what he was trying to do? She blinked to herself, trying to find some sort of explanation, but there didn’t seem to properly be one unless he was serious.

“Got you speechless?” Harry asked, huffing a little to himself. “Gotta pat myself on the back for that.”

Y/N furrowed her brows, opening her mouth a few times before, “I thought you liked silence, when you get to think and can listen to the quiet.”

There was a slight pause when the only thing she heard was the beating of her own heart in her ears. “I like listening to you more.”

How could one person make another feel like this? Like the whole sun resided inside their chest, threatening to explode at any second to reveal a crater created purely out of star dust and fondness? How was it possible to feel this much at once and not go up into flames? So much was happening inside Y/N’s body she felt a tingling in her fingers. Was this what it felt like to fall in love, she asked herself, not knowing for sure till years later when she was able to give herself a proper and positive answer to her own question. That was what it was. Falling into the endless cavity of emotion and devotion, a pit it was impossible to ever wholly find your way out of.

Harry cleared his throat, making Y/N jump a little. “But shut up now, because I need to get the moon right. Can’t have distractions.”

So she was quiet, the small smile on her face impossible to wipe off. She couldn’t hear Harry behind her, the soft sounds of nature made sure of that, but she felt him. Like her cells knew his was there, desperately, longingly reaching for him. She wondered if he could feel it, too.

Before long, Harry sighed heavily, and said, “Done. Just need it to dry a bit and we can leave.”

Finally, she turned around, looking at him properly for the first time in around two hours. She walked backward, feeling the cold water reaching further and further up her bare thighs.

“Come.”

He watched her for a few seconds, stunned. “Come?”

“Yeah, come.”

“But I’m not hard.”

Y/N burst out laughing, leaning her hands on her knees as she snorted. She heard him laughing as well, and she suddenly wished to mute herself completely so all she could ever hear for the rest of her life was Harry’s laughter. She opened her eyes, smiling broadly at him.

“Just come here, the water’s actually not cold at all.” She said, raising up into a proper position.

He looked at the ocean around her before looking back at her walking further into the deep. “But you can’t see the bottom, it’s too dark.”

“So?” she shrugged. “Do you see your future?”

Harry frowned, not catching on, but nevertheless, he answered earnestly. “No.”

“But you still keep on living, don’t you? Even though you can’t see your future properly? Even though you can’t see the bottom? Where it ends?” she smiled at him, stopping. “Live a little, you don’t have to see everything clearly.”

She raised her arms above her head, gave him a little wink, and then fell back into the sea behind her. She heard Harry shout something before she went under. The crisp evening ocean enveloped her, swaying her lightly from side to side, sounding of eternity. She smiled, opening her eyes, only to see the white moon above her, lighting up the dark night. After a few seconds she brought herself back up to the surface, wiping water away from her face. Harry now stood with water till about his ankles, watching her, so she gave him a grin.

“Now you’re all bloody wet.” He said, frowning as he took her in. The dress clung to her, something she was very aware of the longer Harry stared at her form and not her eyes.

“That’s supposed to be a good thing, innit?”

Harry shook his head, not being able to help his chuckles, and Y/N suddenly felt very proud she was able to make the painter laugh. She giggled as well.

“Right, quit the sexual references.” Harry said.

“You started.”

Harry just smiled, looking down at his feet in the water.

“Come have a swim.”

She saw him shake his head, not moving his eyes from the spot just beneath him. “I don’t like the dark.”

“So, you decided to drive to the beach, in the middle of the night, to paint in the dark?” She wasn’t trying to take the piss, it was a genuine question, because she saw he was very much not joking about right now.

“Doesn’t make sense to you?” he asked, looking over at her.

“I mean,” she shrugged, running her hands through the water. “I’m trying to, but can’t make much sense.”

With that, Harry leaned down, folding the bottom of his dungarees till they were further up his calves, that way he could walk closer to her. Though he didn’t get much further before she saw he mentally hit a wall. She walked a bit closer to him as well, feeling a breeze brush past them that was a little colder now that she was wet.

“When I was 10, I had a nightmare.” Harry started, running his hand along his jaw. “I don’t remember much of it, but I remember thinking there was a monster in my room. When I woke up, I couldn’t move.”

Y/N felt her heart sink a little, hating where this was going. “Sleep paralysis.”

“Yeah.” Harry nodded.

“At 10?”

“Yeah.”

“Must’ve been traumatising.”

Harry inhaled sharply, staring off into the distance. “And I couldn’t stop staring at the corner of my room, thought I saw something there. And then I started hearing all these sounds outside my room, thought more monsters were coming, but it was just my sister who heard me crying, so she came to check on me.”

Suddenly feeling very bad and in huge need to hug him, Y/N wrapped her arms around herself. “I’m so sorry.”

“Thanks,” he nodded a little. “But it’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“Yes, it is,” she corrected. “Sorry you had to go through that.”

He nodded again, eyes meeting hers. “Scarred me, and now I don’t like the dark.”

She gave him a little smile, silently telling him that she understood, and he didn’t have to go on unless he felt he wanted to. Though he had just admitted he liked her talking, there simply are moments when talking is not necessary.

“Though,” he went on, wetting his lips quickly. “I liked what you said about the dark, how not seeing doesn’t necessarily mean what you’re moving toward is scary or is hiding something that could potentially hurt you.”

She gave him a little smile, watching him take in the moon mirrored in the moving waters. “Your fears are your fears for a reason, it’s hard to get rid of them.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, looking at her again. “But I’m not scared of the sea. Don’t know why I’m hesitating.”

“Well, ‘cause it’s dark, innit? Don’t be hard on yourself.”

He inhaled, eyes lingering on her face for a few. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“I often am.”

“Don’t get cocky.”

Y/N laughed, walking closer to him and shore. “Should we leave? Has your painting dried a bit?”

“Think so, yeah.”

“Good, because I’m getting sleepy.” She walked up to the beach, wringing the end of her dress to get as much water as possible out of it. A slight gust of wind hit her, immediately sending a wave of shivers up her spine. She gasped a little, body shaking slightly as it went through her body, but she quickly recovered, turning her attention to the other side of her dress. When she looked up, wanting to see how far Harry had gotten in packing all his things together, she met his eyes. Obviously having seen her discomfort with the scant cold, he walked up to his moped and opened the seat again. He came back with a towel, and she quickly remembered how he kept one on him. That’s how she picked Viola up when she first found her. This was a different towel, though.

He unfolded it as he came closer, holding it in one hand as he stopped before her. Leaning closer, he got the other side of the towel from behind her. She felt his breath against her nose, the droplets that were still on her face suddenly turning very hot along with the rest of her. His eyes moved to hers, and he suddenly stopped his movements. No one moved. For a few heavenly seconds they just stood there looking at each other, taking in every second they could be close like this when the intention could be explained, when they had a reason. It took everything in Y/N not to look down at his lips. Those soft lips he had pressed against her hand and palm the night before; those pink lips that had been her entire world for a few long, celestial moments. How she longed to unfold her own against those lips.

Harry took a grip of the other side of the towel without breaking eye contact, getting so close that she swore she could make out each one of the freckles across the bridge of his nose. As he stepped back a little, he wrapped the towel around her, making sure it was placed nicely across her shoulders. Gingerly, he placed his hands on her shoulders. First, she felt his pinky finger, then his ring finger, middle, index, and then his thumb right by her neck. With each tap of his finger, she felt like an earthquake of blissful tingles shocked her entire body. She felt like she was vibrating with the hundreds of butterfly wings that beat inside her tummy.

He ran his hands down her upper arms, then took a step back, snapping them both harshly out of whatever had just gone down between them.

“Dry yourself off a bit.” He mumbled, walking back to his stuff and packing everything.

Y/N just stood there for a few seconds, regaining her composure before drying herself. Once she was done, she folded the towel and gave it back to him and he handed her the rucksack. She watched him put the towel back in its place as she got the rucksack on. Soon they were on their way again, Harry driving fast down the road and Y/N holding onto him. She couldn’t take her eyes off the soft skin of his neck; the feeling of his curls blowing in the wind, right into her face. It was as if now that she knew what he looked like up close, now that she had the time to take him in like this without interruption, she couldn’t help herself.

They arrived in Fosdinovo not long after, Harry stopping his moped outside his house before asking if Y/N was okay to walk home, which she very much was. As she got off the bike, she saw two circles and a bigger splotch on Harry’s back after her tits and tummy. Her cheeks heated up instantly and she hoped he didn’t feel the wet spots himself. She got the helmet off, trying not to let it show that she was freezing, and handed it back to Harry to put it under his seat.

As she handed him his rucksack back, their hands touched. Their eyes met right after, both seemed to stop. Quickly, Harry took the rucksack by the other strap and hand, hoisting it onto his shoulder, all the while not letting go of Y/N’s fingers. They stood there, in the complete darkness of the night, the rest of the small village fast asleep around them. The crickets sang for them; the moon watched them; knowing what the two of them knew in their hearts but were too afraid to voice.

Harry gave her fingers a little squeeze, and it was then Y/N noticed he was holding her left hand, the same hand he had kissed the night before.

“Goodnight, Y/N.”

She inhaled slowly, afraid that any rash movements would ruin the moment. “Goodnight, Harry.”

He gave her hand another squeeze before letting it go and taking a small step back. She smiled at him, turning around, beginning her walk back to her flat. Looking over her shoulder when she was about to turn up the small street to her own, she caught Harry watching her still, and when their eyes met, neither broke eye contact till Y/N rounded the corner.

Sunday, 4 August 2019

Viola knew the way to the bakery now. She walked ahead of Y/N, looking back at her every once in a while when she wanted to walk a little faster but the lead prevented her. It was a cloudy day; the swirl of white interrupted every here and there with dark clouds that threatened with rain. Y/N didn’t have much on the agenda today anyway, so she wasn’t too bothered. In fact, it was rather nice to get a small break from the Italian summer sun for a single day.

Before walking through the door of the Panetteria, Y/N looked through the windows on either side to make sure Salvatore wasn’t working that day. When she couldn’t see him, she let Viola enter the bakery before her, announcing their arrival with a small meow.

“Y/N!”

She jumped a little, looking to her right to see Meo sitting at one of the tables. She hadn’t seen him till now, which was very weird as he had been seated right by the big window. Guess she was just going bloody blind. He grinned, folding his newspaper before resting it in his lap.

“How are you?” he asked, taking a little look at Viola before exclaiming, “And who is this beauty?”

“That’s Viola, and I’m good, how about you?”

Just then, Rin walked out from the door behind the counter, giving Y/N a friendly smile. “Hi.”

“Hiya.” Y/N smiled right back at her. “Could I get a croissant to go, please?”

“Yes, you can.” Rin gave her a little wink, moving to put a croissant into a paper bag for Y/N. “How have you been since Thursday?”

Meo, who was bending down to pet Viola, stopped and looked up at the two ladies. “What happened Thursday?”

“Salvatore acted like an idiot and made Y/N visibly uncomfortable.” Rin answered, standing by the cashier waiting for Y/N.

“You got her, Meo?” Y/N asked, referring to the cat he was petting again.

“Yeah.” He nodded, picking her up and putting her on top of the newspaper in his lap. Y/N walked over to Rin to pay. “Have you spoken to him since, Y/N?”

She shook her head, handing Rin a few euros. “I’d like for him to apologise, but don’t feel like he’s the type to admit he was in the wrong.”

Rin was quick to back Y/N’s theory, “He won’t.”

Meo sighed. “Rin-“

“-No.” She shot Meo a look. “Don’t stand up for him. He’s a good friend of yours but he’s an idiot most of the time.”

Meo looked down at Viola, running his fingers through her fur. “You’re right.”

“I am.” Rin glanced back at Y/N, sighing heavily. “I’m sorry that happened.”

“What’s even weirder is how Harry acted, though.” Meo said, following the statement with a little breathy chuckle. “It seemed to really bother him.”

Rin frowned. “Yeah, when someone sexually harasses someone else, it bothers people.”

Meo groaned. “I didn’t mean it-“

“-Excuse Meo, Y/N, he seems to have left his brain at home today.”

Y/N smiled. “Don’t worry, it’s all good. But,” she glanced over at Meo who was leaning down, booping his nose against Viola’s – who seemed very unsure of what to do. “Harry’s been acting strange lately. Wouldn’t have stood up for me before.”

“Oh?” Rin raised her eyebrows. “You don’t think?”

“Well,” Y/N shrugged her shoulders. “He wasn’t particularly nice to me in the beginning, so I don’t think he would’ve.”

“He’s not a bad person.” Rin said, making Y/N wonder how she knew that. “Just been through… a lot.”

But before Y/N got to ask Rin how she knew this, Meo started talking again. “Speaking of Harry,” he started. “Saw him yesterday.”

“Congrats,” Rin said. “You have eyes and a memory of other people.”

“Fanculo.” Meo rolled his eyes. “No, I saw him in that small alleyway off Via Roma. He was talking to this old man and he seemed very angry.”

Rin crossed her arms. “Angry in what way?”

“Is there more than one way to be angry?” Meo asked back, giving them a quick shrug. “Don’t know, he seemed annoyed, upset, and very angry.”

“Did you recognise who he was talking to?” Y/N surprised herself by asking, but neither Meo nor Rin seemed to bat an eyelash at the question. They were just as curious as she was.

“No, just know he’s Mattia’s father.” Meo explained. “But that’s irrelevant.”

“Mattia’s father is a police officer, Meo. It’s not irrelevant.” Rin brought two fingers up to her temple, clearly thinking hard. “Why would H. Styles be talking to the police?”

“Who is Mattia?” Y/N asked, looking between the two.

Rin waved her hand, dismissing Mattia entirely. “Just a guy about our age, his dad always used to come to our school to give talks on drugs and other crimes.”

“Drugs?” Y/N raised her eyebrows.

“I’m not saying Harry’s involved in some drug deal thing.” Rin clarified. “That’s just what Mattia’s dad did.”

Meo gasped a little. “Imagine if he’s like a drug lord.”

“In Fosdinovo? In the middle of nowhere Tuscany? Unlikely.” Rin leaned her hip against the counter, scrunching up her face as she started thinking. “None of that makes sense. I mean, if he was involved in something with the police, surely the Tuscan and Italian newspapers would know of it by now, right?”

“Unless it was a secret investigation.” Meo said, making both Rin and Y/N whip their heads in his direction. “Seems most likely, doesn’t it?”

Y/N was racking her brain for what that could mean, why Harry would need the police to look into something, and why he was talking to the police at all.

“Unless the police are corrupt, and the drug lord is bribing them to shut up about something.” Meo shrugged. “Or the police are working with him.”

“You’ve been watching too much of that Peaky Blinders and all the other gang shows you like to annoy me with.” Rin sighed, giving Y/N a little smile. “Guess it’s just going to remain a mystery.”

“Guess it is.” Y/N agreed, smiling back at Rin before she walked over to Meo and Viola. With all this new information, Y/N could simply not be around people. She needed to sit alone and think for a bit. Which was weird, because Y/N never wanted to be alone. She wanted to be around people, but this had her in need for a think. “I better be off. We have a busy day ahead of doing absolutely nothing.”

Meo chuckled, handing Viola’s lead back to Y/N. “Have fun.”

“Thanks.” She waved at them both. “See you around.”

“See ya!”

And then Y/N and Viola walked out, on their way back to the flat, and the entire way, Y/N could not stop thinking about what her, Rin, and Meo had just been discussing. What was going on? What was Harry hiding? Did it have something to do with Salvatore and their feud? Or was it completely separate from that? And why was he talking to the police? Y/N’s head was spinning so fast she felt dizzy. Good thing she had her croissant to keep her sane for a little while.

Tuesday, 6 August 2019

Y/N and Rin had hung out all day. They had bumped into one another once Rin was done with her shift at the bakery, and the first thing Rin had said was “He’s working.” She then asked Y/N if she wanted to try another café for breakfast, something Y/N said she’d love to. With Viola, they strolled into the city centre where Rin showed Y/N her favourite café.

The two had a big brunch filled with delicious pasta, schiacciata, ribollita, and multiple glasses of iced coffee. They had an amazing time together, sitting there till the sun started to go down again. It was so nice to talk rubbish with someone who was just as eager to be in everyone else’s business as Y/N was. Though it was a bad trait to have – being nosey – it was so fun to meet someone just as curious about other people and their business. Rin told Y/N all the village gossip, and all the big goss that had been throughout the years. Turns out, even a small mountain town like Fosdinovo has had a few scandals through the years. The two made plans to do brunch together again another time before Y/N had to leave the following week.

On her way back to the flat, Y/N stopped by a supermarket, getting some Ritz and a Brie, figuring she didn’t need much for dinner as she’d already had a massive brunch. Viola was relaxing in her arms by the time she got home, exhausted from a day of doing nothing but walking around and eating. But walking up the staircase to her flat, she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw a figure leaning against the railing opposite to her front door.

She could recognise him anywhere by this point. His brown trousers, pink Converse, the tight white tee shirt, now matched with an open pale pink silk shirt, tucked loosely into his trousers along with his tee shirt. He looked over at her, and as he registered who it was, he straightened, turning his body in her direction. They both blinked for a few seconds before Y/N walked up the last flight of stairs and over to her door.

“You again.” She said, turning the keys and letting them all in. She got Viola out of her lead, putting her down on the floor.

“And the enthusiasm is out of this world.”

“Shocked really,” Y/N continued, putting the tote bag with groceries on the kitchen table before turning around again. “Thought you’d be tired of me by now.”

He just looked at her, mouth shut. He pushed away from the railing, clearing his throat some. “Put the dress on, meet me downstairs.”

Just then, a small whimper could be heard, and then a loud meow. Viola jogged in Harry’s direction, just having noticed him being there. Straight past Y/N who had made her way back over to the door, right to Harry who was now hunched down, petting her. Her purring was deep, clearly enjoying Harry’s attention very much.

“Tell me,” Harry started, smiling at Viola when she jumped up, leaning her two front paws on his knee. “Do you ever give her any attention at all? ‘Cause she seems to be my biggest fan because I give it to her.”

Y/N huffed, trying to hide the smile on her face at seeing Viola and Harry bonding like this. “For your information, we cuddle every night before we go to sleep.”

“In bed?”

She couldn’t help her smile now. “You jealous?”

It was meant as a joke, but judging by the silence that followed, Y/N was afraid he might not have gotten it. Which made the whole situation very weird. Of course he wasn’t bloody jealous of a cat cuddling her in bed. What the fuck kind of question was that anyway? Her neck heated up, feeling a slight wave of embarrassment come on.

In movement so swift Y/N didn’t quite catch it, Harry picked Viola up and held her tight to his chest. His eyes met Y/N’s, mouth hanging open as he searched for the words he’d wanted to say. He nodded behind her at her flat.

“May I?”

She wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to do or what he meant, but she still said, “Of course.”

Stepping aside, she watched as Harry walked past her and into her flat, straight for her bed. Gently, he put Viola down in Y/N’s bed, running a hand over her back to settle her in. His other hand was pressed into her duvet, fingers spread out. The veins on the back of his hand were defined, leading up to his wrist, where other veins were visible all the way up to his elbow. Her eyes travelled further, taking in his bicep, the way his hair hung before his eyes when he stood bent like this. His hips, how round his bum looked when he wore those trousers. The way his thighs had looked when he’d been petting Viola out in the hallway. Get a fucking grip, Y/N. She shook her head, looking away from him just as he pushed away from the bed.

“I’ll leave you to get changed.” He said, motioning with his thumb over his shoulder, telling her he’d be waiting outside.

Y/N just watched him leave, closing the door behind him, leaving her and Viola confused. Y/N looked back at the cat, raising her eyebrows as Viola’s eyes were still on the door, obviously missing Harry.

“Yeah,” Y/N said, Viola looking up at her companion. “I’m confused, too.”

Viola meowed.

“Okay, not confused, just…” Y/N shrugged. “Dunno. He’s changed.”

Viola just looked at Y/N, obviously not bothering to take part in a conversation she didn’t see the point of. How Y/N and Harry were feeling was as clear to her as the difference between the first and the last chapter of a book.

Y/N changed into her dress, not bothering to put her knee socks on as she knew they were going back to Lerici to finish the painting Harry started last time. She gave Viola a quick kiss to the forehead as she always did, and then she walked downstairs. As the two times they’d ridden the moped together previous, Harry handed Y/N the helmet as soon as she stepped out of the door and into the already dark night. He got on and started the engine as she put the helmet and his rucksack on, and as soon as she was comfortable on the seat behind him, they were off.

They made it to the same beach, and though the moon wasn’t as full as she had been two nights earlier, Y/N guessed it didn’t really matter. What Harry needed was to get the colours right, he already had the outline of everything by now. It was weird, Y/N thought, how she knew Harry’s methods and ways of working by this point. She knew he did outline first and colours second, often visiting a place two or three times after their first visit to get everything right. But he hadn’t needed her present in the beginning when he was colouring…

They didn’t talk. Y/N knew she was going to go stand in the sea and Harry knew where he was putting his easel. They moved with one another, knowing what the other one wanted and doing everything they could to keep the other satisfied. Y/N listened to Harry moving around behind her, mixing colours and adjusting his canvas, huffing and shuffling in the sand. The time before when she joined him on the colour-filling session, they hadn’t talked at all. Gioele came along that time, and kept the air lively with either song or conversation, trying to talk to Harry about something Harry never really seemed interested in. But now they were alone, and silence stretched out between them. Neither were in a hurry to say something. So, when Harry suddenly cleared his throat, Y/N almost jumped a little.

“I thought about what you said the other day.” He admitted.

Y/N blinked a few times, looking to the rocks on her left as she spoke. “What was that?”

“In order to properly make a connection with someone I’ve gotta open up to people.”

She nodded, encouraging him to go on. “Yeah?”

“And uhh…” he trailed off, clearly struggling to find the right words to say next. “I don’t… I don’t know how to say this.”

This made her look over her shoulder at him, needing to know that he was alright. He seemed to be, painting with a slight wrinkle between his brows. “Saying anything at all is good, it doesn’t have to be perfect.”

“I know, but…” He met her eyes, mouth hanging open for a few moments. He looked back at the painting. “My parents always favoured my sister. They didn’t have to say the word, I always knew they liked her better than me. Maybe because she was the firstborn, maybe because she’s always been amazing at everything she’s ever done.” He took a deep breath. “I never hated them for it, I kind of got used to it… being their second choice. My nannies were better parents than them.”

It hurt hearing Harry say that; that he had been his parents’ second choice all his life. Reminded Y/N of how she’d felt growing up as well; Portia being in the spotlight all the time, Y/N always in second place. It got to the point where she just had to get used to it. Not that she wanted to be the second one in line, but it just simply was that way and there was nothing she could do about it. Her father left and since then, her mother had leaned on Portia for support and Y/N to carry them both. Harry knew how that felt.

“When I started getting bigger as a painter, when I could do this and only this, I decided that living in Manchester wasn’t it.” Harry ran a hand through his hair, studying the painting. “It reminded me of a life I didn’t feel good enough. And I didn’t want that. I wanted to feel like I was enough. ‘Cause I am. Took me some time to realise that I was. I knew I could only become the best version of myself if I was away from Manchester for a little while.”

A gust of wind blew past Y/N, she had to hold the dress in place, still watching Harry. He was quiet for a few seconds as he looked at her, but he quickly looked away and started painting again.

“Moved here… and…” he stood still, the topic at hand evoked so many emotions in him that it seemed he had a hard time using his words right. “And I… I wasn’t enough here either. But…” he cleared his throat. “I need to finish this collection here and everything. Can’t move before I have.”

Y/N thought back to the time Harry said he didn’t want to move, that he liked living here. He clearly did not. And her entire chest hurt at the revelation.

“The collection’s what’s keeping me here,” he admitted. “Not free will.”

Y/N looked at the reflection of the moon in the water, aching for the hurt Harry felt. She could still hear it in his voice.

“So, not only am I everyone’s second choice, but I have to stay here for another month without-“ he abruptly stopped himself, eyes falling to the sand underneath his bare feet. For a few seconds, no one moved, and when Harry’s eyes met hers, nothing else mattered. Y/N felt dizzy, her chest tingling; almost like she was drunk. “Without a friend.”

She felt herself panic, the realisation that she was leaving the following week hit her like a ton of bricks. For some reason, she had to talk; had to keep the conversation going. Harry didn’t look away from her as Y/N’s mouth opened and closed, not knowing that she was getting dizzy trying to find something to say.

“You’ll always have the moon.” Brill, you’ve done it now, she thought to herself.

Harry raised his eyebrows. “What?”

“The moon’s always gonna be there. You can talk to her all you need.”

He huffed, blinking twice before saying, “That right?”

Y/N nodded, not having thought she’d get into this today, but seemingly, she had to now. “My mum’s obsessed with space. The reason why she named me and my sister after planets and all that, you know this.” She waved her hands around, dismissing going into detail about that exact subject. “Anyway, she always used to tell us that if we were ever in need to talk to someone and no one we knew could help, the moon would always listen. There were often times when I was little when I knew my mum couldn’t help, so I’d sit by my open window in the middle of cold winter and pour my heart out to the moon.”

The hint of a joke that had been in Harry’s eyes when Y/N started her talk of the moon, was gone. He seemed to know where this was going.

“My mum��” Y/N’s eyes fell to a spot in the sand beside Harry’s feet. “She was never able to help. And if she was, I could tell her heart wasn’t really in it.”

Harry’s arm fell to his side.

“It’s not that mum doesn’t love me, because she really does, I know she does, but…” she shrugged. “I’ve just always been able to tell that she liked my little sister more. Thought she had more potential, and all that.”

Y/N looked up at Harry again, seeing the head of his brow upturned.

“People have no control over their emotions, so I don’t blame mum, but I wish she’d paid more attention to me.” Y/N admitted, turning back to the moon. “That way the moon wouldn’t know all my secrets.”

She could feel Harry’s eyes on her back as she walked further out, laying her palms flat against the surface of the sea, the hem of her skirt floating in the ocean.

“But I can’t have been the only one spilling all my troubles to her, right?” Y/N tried to reason, not wanting Harry to think she was insane. “Think about how many secrets she’s gotta hold, and not just ones told to her like mine, but others as well. All those untold ones people hold close until night when they spill their hearts to the moon, all the truths, lost opportunities, the endless sea of chances. She’s gotta know everything, more than the sun could ever hope to. Forbidden acts all happen at night, don’t they?”

Y/N turned around, meeting Harry’s eyes. His lips were parted, blinking a few times as he stumbled out of his reverie when he saw her turning around.

“I’m truly sorry about your family. You’re no one’s second choice.”

Harry shook his had some, placing a hand on his tummy, hooking his thumb at the top of his trousers. “You haven’t met my family, though.”

“They don’t deserve you if they’ve made you feel that way.” Y/N said. “You’ve got other people who you’re never going to be second choice to.”

Harry just looked at her, speechless.

“And aren’t Jamie going to stay here till the end of summer? Right before you’re leaving for your little tour? Your friend’s gonna stay here the whole time with you.”

Harry blinked. “My… my friend?”

Y/N nodded, cocking her head ever so slightly to the side before looking ahead at the moon again. “Yeah, you said you’d stay here for another month without a friend.”

Harry looked away, eyes falling to the palette in his hand before he tipped his brush in it. A small, “Yeah, you’re right,” left his lips.

“You’re never as alone as your head makes you believe.”

“’Cause the moon is always there.”

Y/N smiled. “Exactly,” she said. “She’ll always listen.”

There was a small pause. “What about you?”

Y/N frowned. “What about me?”

The waves crashed softly against shore, there didn’t seem to be another sound in the entire world but that just then.

“Harry?”

He was quiet. And though Y/N didn’t want to interrupt him in case a sudden creative urge had hit him, he had still asked her a question she hadn’t understood, and she therefore wanted an answer.

“You alright?”

But he still didn’t say anything. Just as she was about to look over her shoulder at him to make sure he was alright; she heard the splashing of water and then felt a lot of it on her face. She yelped, jumping a bit, unsure what had just happened till she saw it. Harry rose from the dark ocean, shaking his head to get most of the water out of his curls. Harry had come out into the sea with her. Fully clothed. Y/N couldn’t help her laughter, too caught off guard to do anything else.

“What the fuck?”

“’What the fuck’?” Harry said, turning around to face her, whipping some of his curls out of his face. “You told me to come out into the water a few days ago, and now you’re shocked?”

Y/N smiled at him, raising her eyebrows a tad, realising she was holding both hands to her chest and feeling her heart hammering fast against her ribcage. “You also said you didn’t like the dark, and that the water was too dark for you to take a swim in.”

“But you said to live a little and that not seeing the bottom ‘cause it’s too dark wasn’t necessarily a bad thing.”

He… he remembered what she’d told him? He’d taken her words to heart? Every single part of Y/N was tingling to the point of tickling her a bit. “And now you’re in the water.”

Harry huffed, water to just below his shoulders. Y/N walked a bit closer to him, finding the ocean a little too cold to be comfortable. “Don’t get used to me trying out the things you suggest I do.”

She bit her lips together. “Of course.”

He just stared at her, noticing her piss take but not bothering to point it out or tell her to fuck off for it. Instead, he took a step further back, letting more of the sea envelope him. “Well,” he said, nodding toward Y/N. “If I’m gonna be swimming, you’re going to as well.”

“Jesus Christ.” She mumbled, balling her hands together into fists and as fast as she could, walked further out into the sea. The cold water hurt against her warm skin, but she did her best not to let it show. When the water reached her shoulders, standing a metre or two away from Harry still, she looked at him. “Happy?”

“Get your hair wet.”

She clicked her tongue, raising her eyebrows. “Why are you so bossy?”

“Why do you suddenly care if your hair is wet or not? You didn’t last time.” He pointed out, raising his eyebrows back at her. “Besides, my hair is wet so yours needs to be too.”

Y/N only rolled her eyes but did as he wished. Getting her entire head under water, she made sure all of her hair was wet, opening her eyes to see if she could see Harry underwater. But when she opened them, she saw him taking a few steps closer till he was just in front of her. Immediately, her heart started racing. She stood, getting the water out of her eyes before looking at him. He was right there, right in front of her. The white light of the moon washed over half of his face, and though she couldn’t make out all his features, he looked so incredibly beautiful in that moment. She was afraid to look away; afraid what would happen if she did.

“What about you?” he asked again, voice low like a mumble.

Y/N hoped he couldn’t tell how fast her heart was hammering, how every nerve in her entire body was on high alert, how every cell was screaming for him to get closer. “What about me?”

“You’re never as alone as your head makes you believe. The moon is always there.” He said, eyes searching her face. “What about you?”

She took a little breath. “I…” she stopped, able to feel the tip of his shoes against her bare feet as he took a small step forward. She could smell him. Neroli and rose mixed with incense and musk. “Will I always be there?”

He just looked at her, clearly thinking that his look was answer enough. And it was. Because in the small way he cocked his head, how his eyes fell so quickly to her lips and back up to her eyes again, the way she saw him take a hug inhale. She saw his answer in all of it.

“I’m… I’m leaving.”

“But if you could?” he urged, sounding desperate.

“But I can’t.”

“But if you could…”

Though the water moved around them, the world seemed to be completely still as they stood there. It would always be night, it would always be them, it would always be this. The uncertainty laced with a kind of certainty neither had the vocabulary to word correctly. She couldn’t take a step closer to Harry as they were already standing so close, but she needed to take a step closer to be closer. She needed to be close to him. Needed to melt into him.

“What are you trying to say?” she asked, heart hammering so fast and so hard that it was weird her voice wasn’t shaking with it. He opened his mouth slowly; inhaling, exhaling.

“The planet Venus…” he mumbled, letting the three words hang in the air around them. She barely noticed how his eyes fell to her lips for a split second before they looked up into hers again. Fires ran up her spine. “Is the second brightest natural object in the sky, right after the sun. Referred to as ‘the morning star’ or ‘the evening star’. Visible for a little while, only hours before or after sunrise or sunset. You have to really be looking for her to find her.”

“What are you-“

“-In 2019, she was only visible in the mornings until July, then she disappeared behind the sun. She’s going to reappear in September, then she’s going to be visible in the mornings again.” He paused, a shaky breath leaving his slightly parted lips. “She’s the brightest star in the solar system.”

Y/N didn’t know how she was still standing, neither did she know what any of that meant, why he chose to tell her this. He must’ve known that her mother had told her everything about the planet she was named after, but here he was… And she didn’t mind him saying this at all. But it did raise the question-

“How do you know all this?” she asked, blinking a few times to get a droplet from the sea off her eyelashes. “Why do you know all this?”

He bit his bottom lip, eyes shifting between her two, not knowing where to focus. “Because…” his voice was barely audible, but all of Y/N’s senses were tuned in on him. She could’ve heard him if his voice was merely a whisper and the world was collapsing around them. He stilled, fixating on her and nothing else. “I’d stay up only to get a small glimpse of you.”

And just like that, the entirety of the universe stopped turning; like a painting, a superlative moment in time, the perfect depiction of the perfect moment in what had been till now a mediocre lifetime. Everything had conspired and waited for this exact moment, lit up by the moon that knew all of their secrets and most hidden desires. Just then, the colours around got a little brighter, hearing a little better, and it was easier to breathe. Everything had led to this.

She saw Harry daring a look at her lips again, and she couldn’t help but stare at his as well. So pink, so pretty. She saw his lips part, felt his breath against her wet skin, and when she looked up, she realised he’d been waiting for her to make eye contact. He was waiting for a response. But what was she supposed to say? That she found herself dreaming of him most nights and it was hard to act normal around him the next day? That the dreams were vivid and she felt him touch her, kiss her hand, her arm, her jaw, her cheek? That she’d had a small crush on him for weeks now, even when he’d treated her like shit, because somewhere deep down, she’d known he was different? How did she tell him she’d been right, and she didn’t know how? That she admired him for a ton of reasons, but mostly for his willingness to change when he was wrong? How did she tell him that she thought he’d never be interested in her, but now that he admitted to it, her feelings had blossomed to life like a field of flowers after a shower of rain in summer?

Something took over and she reached forward, taking a light grip of his neck, bringing him toward her. They kissed. It was soft, positioning a little off, but the impact was like a meteor striking earth. Harry didn’t hesitate, he placed a gentle hand to her cheek and another one on her shoulder, slowly sliding it up to rest at her neck. Her entire body seemed to change in a way as her skin made contact with his again. Their cells intermingled; bodies connected in a way they’d never felt before. Something inside urged them to feel more, do more, melt into one another. Gently, Harry guided her lips wider open, carefully asking permission for his tongue to enter her mouth. She opened up to him, exhaling against his cheek as she felt his tongue along hers.

She did a small jump, hooking her legs around his waist so they didn’t need to bend awkwardly to be with one another. He didn’t seem taken off guard at all, rather welcoming her embrace by letting one his hands rest at her thigh and the other at her neck. It seemed to never end, like they could stand there kissing in the water, in the light of the white moon, till everything ceased to exist anymore. The kissing didn’t grow hungry or lustful, they just wanted to be close, wanted to feel the other there and know they were together. They wanted to be connected, wanted to melt together and never leave.

Out of breath, Y/N pulled away slightly, needing to breathe properly for a few moments. Opening her eyes, she saw Harry staring right back at her. She wasn’t sure she’d ever get over how beautiful he was, how good he tasted, how good he smelled, felt, was. He leaned forward, kissing her temple before leaning his forehead against hers. She breathed him in before seeking his lips again. And it was like Harry told her; you fall in love, and it’s the beginning and the end of everything.

Thursday, 8 August 2019

Y/N looked at herself in the body-length mirror in her flat, taking in her outfit for La Serenata. A midi wrap dress with volume sleeves, flowers in white, mustard, red, green, and black covering all of it. She put on a pair of small hoop earrings, a light layer of make-up, and thinking herself ready after. Viola was on her bed, watching all of it, giving her small meows or pointed stares of approval or disapproval if Y/N ever asked her opinion on something.

She made sure Viola had enough to eat, that a window was open, and that everything else was ready for the little child to be home alone. Though Viola rarely did anything stupid, Y/N was aware that one time would have to be the first, and she didn’t want anything to happen in the last week she was spending with the wee cat. Giving Viola a kiss to the forehead as she always did, Y/N got her small purse with everything she needed, and headed out.

It was getting dark, the sun was about to set, the orange and dotted purple sky above about to paint itself a vibrant pink before covering itself in the blanket of night. Y/N could make out a few others on their way to the La Serenata, dressed nicely for the occasion and talking loudly amongst themselves. She smiled a little, finding it adorable how the entire village was gathering in order to be part of this. She walked up the hill, along the streets she remembered from two nights before when Harry had showed her where to walk. Before driving her home, he’d driven her all the way to Via Papiriana, which wasn’t too far away from her flat. Not that anything within the borders of Fosdinovo was far from one another. She walked the exact way, holding onto the strap of her purse and urging her the heels of her shoes not to get stuck in between any cobblestones. She didn’t want to be late.

She saw Via Papiriana as she rounded a corner, and immediately recognised the figure standing there leaning against the brick out. A smile graced her lips instantly. He was wearing a white jacquard shirt with ruffled front, tucked into a pair of charcoal grey heritage check trousers, and a jacket to match. He looked as amazing as he always did, but the ruffles on his shirt made him look almost royal. Like there was no doubt he was better than everyone else.

He looked up as she came closer, as if he sensed her there, and his eyes quickly scanned her figure. Pushing off the wall, he turned his body in her direction, giving her the tiniest of smiles. One it was evident he couldn’t help.

“Hi.” She said, grinning at him.

“Hi.” He answered, smile widening a tad.

After the session two days prior, they hadn’t met one another. Harry had been busy the day before, and Y/N had done absolutely nothing. She knew she needed to do stuff now that she only had one week left in Italy, but she couldn’t bring herself to. All she thought about was Harry; she wanted to be with him every single second of every single day. Harry drove her home after their session in Lerici, apologised for not being able to see her the following day, and promised to meet her at Via Papiriana for the Serenata. After that kiss in the ocean, she hadn’t been able to think about anything else. He was all her mind was able to focus on it seemed. And though she didn’t mind, she knew she shouldn’t. They lived two completely different lives and outside this chance situation they found themselves in this summer, they could never be together.

She couldn’t think about that now, though. Instead she nodded her head at Via Papiriana and Harry nodded back, showing her the way. There was a crowd of people further down the road, loud voices and laughter filling the tiny street. People who lived on the street were watching through their opened windows, a group stood on a balcony not far off, others stood in their open doorways, handing out glasses of what Y/N could only assume to be alcohol of some kind. They made a little party out of the La Serenata, and Y/N loved it. The Italian culture she had been lucky enough to experience this summer had blown her away and she was beyond sad she had to leave it all behind soon. She had no idea when she would next visit this breath-taking country in southern Europe that she had grown so immensely fond of.

As Y/N and Harry got close, people started hushing one another, all attention pointed at the middle of the crowd. Someone started playing a few chords on a guitar, and it sounded so beautiful already that Y/N felt herself press a hand to her beating heart.

“Al di la; del bene piu prezioso, ci sei tu.” Someone sang, voice dark and smooth.

And just as the song started, a huge mess of curls poked its head out of the window the crowd stood before. Y/N instantly recognised the woman as Carina, Rin, Meo, and Salvatore’s friend who had left the pub the week before. She looked so beautiful smiling down at her fiancé, admiring her future husband. Y/N was suddenly so happy for Carina, not having known she was the one getting married. The thought of someone so kind marrying the love of her life, made Y/N look forward to the following day when she would be attending her first and only Italian wedding.

“Al di la; ci sei tu per me, per me, soltanto per me.”

Y/N could swear she recognised that voice, though. Walking closer to the crowd, she stood on her tiptoes, trying to get a glimpse of the man serenading Carina. She felt Harry following her, seeming a little hesitant as if he already knew what was happening before them. And as Y/N’s eyes fell on the serenader, she stopped completely. It couldn’t be… But it was…

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.” She whispered to herself, feeling Harry glance down at her, having seen what she’d just seen.

With his dark hair drawn back, dressed in a dark blue suit and looking up at Carina with those charming brown eyes of his, Salvatore stood holding the guitar and singing in the middle of the crowd. He was smiling, completely oblivious to Y/N and Harry attending the Serenata. Even if he had known they would be there, he’d probably be smirking either way, probably loving the dramatics of it all. He was quite theatrical.

Despite everything, Y/N felt tears press on. She hadn’t liked Salvatore much after what happened, but regardless, he had made her feel special. He had taken her on walks along Fosdinovo, made her look forward to her trip to the bakery every morning so she’d see him, made her summer in some way. And all this time, he was engaged. All the flirting, all the touching, all the promises, had been while he was waiting to get married. All those times when he hadn’t been at work, he must’ve been busy with Carina preparing their wedding. Had he used her? Why had he tried to make her fall in love with him? Why had it worked to an extent? Her entire body ached. She was so dumb. So fucking dumb for falling for his stupid, charming act.

She heard Harry breathing heavily through his nose, saw him glaring at both Salvatore and Carina. There was so much hatred in that look that it made Y/N take a small step back. Something had gone down before she arrived, but in that moment, Y/N couldn’t bring herself to care too much about that. Because the guy she’d had a crush on at the beginning of the summer had flirted and asked her out while he was engaged; while he was in a relationship with another.

The song was done and the crowd cheered. Y/N didn’t care to see Carina lowering the basket or to see what happened after that, didn’t care to be part of the festivities; she didn’t care about any of that. All she wanted, all she needed, was to get away from that fucking street and the bloody twat singing on it.

Rounding the corner onto the main road, she heard a set of footsteps behind her. She didn’t have to turn around to know they were Harry’s. She had to put the entire La Serenata behind her, had to forget about Salvatore, had to forget about bigger parts of her summer spent here. It all hit a little too close to home, made her think of a time before that she tried to suppress. Certain memories were better left forgotten, or so washed away that they didn’t make you feel anything anymore. But memories were there for a reason, and some made you feel so much that it numbed you; it stole your senses and occupied all of you till it tore you apart anew. No one knew how badly it hurt. No one but you.

Harry didn’t try to stop her or talk to her. He understood that she didn’t need that. He understood that what she needed right now was to know that someone was there, that if she desired, he was there for her. Though she wasn’t a big fan of silence, she appreciated how quiet Harry was just then. Truly admired his ability to save his words for occasions when he needed to use them, and not just using them to fill a silence that did fine on its own.

They reached Y/N’s building, where both stopped outside her door. Slowly, she opened her purse and got her keys out, staring off into nothing. She wasn’t sure what she was meant to feel; and what she was feeling, she felt stupid for.

“Do you wanna be alone?”

His voice felt like a warm embrace; like someone understood her for the first time in what must’ve been her entire existence. She looked at him, seeing genuine concern in his eyes. Though she had mates back home that would be worried for her, a sister that would as well, no one had ever looked at her like this before. She felt seen; cared for.

A single tear ran down her cheek as she gave him a tiny smile, shaking her head. “No.”

The hurt in Harry’s eyes worsened. She could tell he wanted to take a step toward her and comfort her, but stopped himself, not knowing what would be too much.

“I never want to be,” she said, not able to hold back. “I just am.”

“You’re not.”

She bit her bottom lip as she felt it start to wobble, feeling so many warm and lovely emotions run through her entire body. It was such a contrast to what she’d just felt after the Serenata that it made her hurt in the best way possible. Noticing this, Harry took her hand in his, carefully taking the key and unlocking the door. He held it open for her, watching her walk inside before he gave her the keys back. She walked first up and through the door to her flat, leaving the door open for Harry to follow.

Viola was sleeping on a kitchen chair, one of the windows were open, the sheer curtains swaying with the wind blowing. Y/N took her shoes off, putting her purse on the kitchen table before she went to open the other window on the other side of the bed. In the darkness of the night, Y/N leaned both her hands on the window frame, looking out over the countryside. She would leave this soon. And though that thought made her happy after what had just happened, it almost made her sad because she would be leaving the person who had followed her all the way home to make sure she was alright.

“When I was around 19, I met Noah.” Y/N started, not taking her eyes off the landscape before her. “He was the first person I ever fell in love with. Made me feel things no one had ever done before, and it was just… it was all I had ever wanted. I didn’t think anyone would ever fancy me like that, in a romantic or sexual way.”

She heard Harry moving behind her, taking his suit jacket off.

“I could tell he fancied me, but… he was embarrassed to.” She said, trying not to let her voice break. “He didn’t want to introduce me to his family or to his friends, didn’t want to be seen with me in public.”

Harry took his shoes off, not taking his eyes off her when she paused for a few seconds. Silent tears rolled down her face.

“No one ever says anything about the emotional struggles of being fat,” she said. “They only highlight the physical part of it, but never the emotional one. How no one’s ever going to want you because of your body. You’re aware your personality’s fine, but your body’s gross so you hide behind your humour, big clothes, and try to fake your confidence in order for people to go ‘she’s so confident, so cool, it’s so inspiring to see someone like her be so confident’.” She swallowed a lump in her throat. “And the need to hide your body because everyone who sees you have already got this designed and premeditated idea of what your life is like. Eating tons of unhealthy foods, being lazy, or having health problems. So whenever anyone even looks at you, you know what they’re thinking already. You’re this walking, talking joke and everyone who isn’t in on it is having a laugh, but you’re not. You have to get used to the fact that people are gonna want to give you advice on your health, and it won’t fucking work ‘cause you’ve heard them hundreds of times before, and it’s all just an endless spiral of ‘will I ever be pretty if I’m fat?’ and ‘what’s the fucking point if I’m just going to be fat and judged for the rest of my life?’.”

She took a shaky breath, feeling Harry behind her.

“But when you just have to get used to the fact that you’re never going to be as skinny or as pretty as you want to be. You’re always going to want more. So, for your own mental and physical and spiritual health, you have to tell yourself you’re good enough. Because you are. You need to be. What good is life going to be if you’re never good enough? You’re never going to be happy. You need to be happy ‘cause the only way you can be is if you yourself change it for yourself only. You’re going to be stuck with yourself your whole life. You’re your own soulmate before you’re anyone else’s.”

Y/N took a deep breath before she looked over her shoulder at Harry. He stood beside the end of her bed, looking at her like everything she was saying was the most important piece of information he’d ever hear.

“Salvatore did the same, didn’t he? Wanted to see how hard he could make the fat person fall in love with him?”

Harry shook his head, walking over to her. “No.”

She frowned.

He took her hand, looking down on it. “That wasn’t it.”

“What was it then?”

Harry met her eyes. “Not tonight.”

“Then when?

“Tomorrow morning.”

Y/N frowned.

“Tonight I want to show you that no matter what you felt for Noah, no matter what you felt for Salvatore, it doesn’t matter.” Harry rested a hand at her cheek and she instantly leaned into him. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. I thought so the moment I first saw you standing beneath my balcony in early July, and you further proved that as summer went on.”

Y/N couldn’t help the tears forming in her eyes.

“The fact that people has ever made you feel like you’re not makes me angrier than I think you’ll ever know.”

She huffed.

“What?”

“You’re always angry.”

Harry smiled. “Because you piss me off.”

She smiled back, a tear falling from her eye and onto his hand. Harry ran his thumb over her bottom lip, looking at it as he did.

“You’re the brightest star in the solar system, Y/N.” Harry said, voice sounding like a whisper. “That’s not just me saying that, it’s actual facts. It’s on the Internet and everything.”

She laughed, and Harry smiled down at her.

“No one could outshine you.”

She looked at him for a few seconds before she leaned forward and kissed him again. This time around, it wasn’t as soft; it was urgent. She wanted to taste him, wanted to show him how much she appreciated him. Their tongues tangled, hungry for one another in a way they had never been hungry for anyone ever before. His grip on her tightened and he pressed her to him, wanting to feel every curve of her body. To feel the soft skin and the soft spots no one else got to see.

He walked her to her bed, letting her lay down comfortably before he followed her. Making his way up, he ran each hand up her legs, dragging her dress with him till it was at her waist. He nestled between her thighs, urging her to spread her legs a little wider for him as he lowered himself. She watched him, not able to believe that he was really here, in her bed, with a promise to make her understand that whatever she’d ever felt for someone else than him didn’t matter. When he kissed her again, she tasted the entire universe on his tongue and felt it between her thighs. He ran both hands over her cheeks, thumb caressing her tenderly, promising to never mistreat her.

The kisses deepened and Y/N hooked her legs with his, not wanting to ever let him go. It felt too good being like this with him; felt so incredibly right. Her hands roamed his body, wanting to get a good feel of all of him. She wanted to remember every single little piece of him, wanted to feel and smell him on her hands. The excitement of feeling Harry against her centre, of tasting him like this, feeling his hands on her body, it all got to her. A heat started gathering between her legs, aching and begging to be touched by him. She started moving in desperation, feeling Harry breathe harshly against her cheek as she did. He clearly felt her movements just as well as she felt his.

His right hand slid down, over her tits, tummy, and down to that spot between her legs that was waiting for him. He put his middle finger just above her hole, and so excruciatingly slowly as he possibly could, ran it up along her knickers. She gripped his hair a little harder, kissing him a little fiercer, the need for him too great to handle gracefully. With two fingers this time and a little more pressure, he dragged them above her, halting a little when he got a small moan out of her. He pulled away ever so slightly, looking down on her.

“Foreplay,” Harry said, lips moving against hers as they both panted. “How do you feel about it?”

“With my zero patience?” she raised her eyebrows a little, butterflies in her tummy fluttering their wings wildly as Harry smiled down at her. “Overrated.”

“Good.” He said, hooking his fingers through the band of her underwear. “I’m not a fan either.”

She bit her lip, looking at him as he adjusted himself between her legs.

“’Cause I’ve thought about eating you out for quite a while now. So I say fuck foreplay,” he pushed off, sitting up on his knees. “And if you’ll allow me,” he hooked his other hand through the other side of her knickers. “I’d like to make you feel really fucking good.”

“Ambitious.”

He smiled a little, tugging at her underwear. She lifted her hips, letting him take it off her, something he did gracefully. She lifted the skirt of her dress, letting him get better access. Harry looked at her centre, then up at her again, and something in the way he glanced at her made ever single cell in her body sing. She could make out the outline of his erection against his trousers, but he didn’t seem to care much about himself. All he wanted and cared about was for her to feel good. He got the ruffles of his shirt out of the way and positioned himself before her. They didn’t look away from each other as Harry kissed the inside of her thigh, leaving a trail of wet spots all the way down to her centre. He kissed her folds, and her eyes fluttered shut.

“Watch me.” He mumbled, wrapping his arms around her thighs. “Don’t look away.”

She opened her eyes just in time to see him run his tongue over her. His tongue traced a deliciously wet line between her already wet folds. Y/N bit her lip, loving the feeling of Harry’s hot tongue on her like this. Just there to make her feel – as he’d put it himself – really fucking good. The immediate pleasure of Harry eating her out took over her entire being right away. She didn’t know if her toes were freezing cold or if her back was itching. All that mattered, all she could focus on, was Harry and his delicious tongue exactly where they needed to be. She took tight grips of the duvet beneath her, needing something to hold onto, telling herself not to shut her eyes, no matter how good he made her feel. With elegant movements, Harry let his tongue glide up and down, swirling blissfully around her clit while laying some extra pressure there, seeing what got a reaction out of her and what didn’t. His right arm came to lay on her stomach, holding her still in case she started moving with her oncoming climax. A shaky breath left her lips, and then a soft moan, the overwhelming feeling of Harry’s tongue on her cunt took over everything she knew bit by bit.

The entire night before this was gone. Nothing but this mattered. Harry was here, admitting to having wanted to eat her out for a while, which made her feel so much all at once. How long had he? And he said he thought she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen, ever since the day he first saw her. So he’d always thought so? He’d always found her beautiful? The mere thought of Harry, the most stunning man she’d ever met, finding her beautiful, sent a whole lot of tingles through her entire body. All of this was too good to be true.

Harry buried his tongue in Y/N’s cunt in his eagerness to please her, running his tongue flat and hard against her, teasing her with an extra flick as he reached her bud. A louder moan escaped her, and her nail scraped against the material of the duvet. Mimicking the same movement to get the same reaction out of her, he watched her eagerly, not breaking eye contact once. It was hard to see straight, think straight, or act at all with grace when Harry made her feel like this. The heat between her thighs was building and she knew she’d come soon.

“Harry.” She moaned, blinking a few times as the pleasure rose.

Tilting his head to the left, Harry started focusing mainly on her clit. With quick deliberate movements, Harry’s tongue flicked dangerously fast over her hyper-sensitive spot. One of her hands immediately came to rest in his hair. She needed to hold onto him, needed to feel him bobbing his head along with his movements. Harry moaned into her as she did, causing her to gasp with the vibrations. The burn that was building up in her core was starting to get so intense she felt like she was about to burn up entirely.

Harry shifted, moving his hand to rest between her folds with his tongue. He pushed two fingers into her, moving them along with tongue. She gasped, the bubble of pleasure that had built up so intense she knew it would burst soon. Harry started sucking on her bud, pounding his fingers in and out of her, looking at her still, silently telling her not to look away from him. The filthy sounds of Harry’s sucking and the wet sounds of her cunt were too much. He moaned into her, and it sent her over the edge. A string of whimpers and moans that sounded like his name and ‘yes’ and ‘fuck’ and ‘don’t stop’. Her thighs twitched and the hold on Harry’s hair tightened as the bubble of pleasure burst, lashing through her like a whip of intense bliss, showering her in the most heavenly of sensations a human can ever think of experiencing. Her back arched, and Harry did everything he could to keep her still, moving her through her orgasm. Her legs were shaking and she was moaning his name and Harry was moaning against her cunt, sending waves of pleasure throughout her entire body that made her jump a little at the notion.

Breathing heavily, she fell back against her pillows. Harry moved up to her, booping his nose against hers. She smiled.

“Don’t leave.” She whispered, and he didn’t.

NEXT UPDATE: 19 January 2020, 9PM GMT

a thanks to my lovely betas!

💙 @aileenacoustic 💙 @emotionally-imbruised 💙 @fromyourstrulyh 💙 @toolazymyguy 💙 @tasteslikestrawberriesharry 💙

#harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst

759 notes · View notes