#very very off topic to what i usually post but i can't think of anywhere else to put it

[medlarmeadows]

started listening to raye out of pure chance stumbling on a clip of Oscar Winning Tears and i think i've found my new favourite musician!! and she's such a precious human being too uGh

[bougiebutchbinch]

Hey hai, sorry for the long ask but I wanted to hand deliver a snippet to you if that's okay, cus I'm half way through the stone trans top logan fic and am way too excited to finish it (obviously you don't have to post this, I'm just writin for sillys :3 and I wish I could put a -read more- cut in an ask)

Logan was sick and tired of Wade. Well, not Wade, he could never get tired of Wade, he was tired of Wade's non-stop never-ending jokes. Well, some of the jokes-

Dammit he was pissed off at Wade's sex jokes.

He was always putting jokes everywhere where they didn't belong and usually Logan just ignored him, but in the past few days the jokes were getting less and less varied in their subject. All about how good a fuck would be and all the things he would do to Logan in bed and Logan had to stop himself from growling whenever the man even joked about his dick anywhere near Logan.

Sure it wasn't Wade's fault he felt his way, but nothing was going inside him, and that was final.

And one night they were down at a bar, neither drinking much, Logan needed to cut down on his alcohol and Wade was enjoying sipping at his stupid fruity cocktail.

He scowled as he brought his beer back up to his lips.

Wade had brought his suit mask, pulled up to his nose as he sipped, wearing some shitty hawiian shirt or oter, obnoxious kahki shorts that clashed horrendously, knee high white socks with sneakers, and he didnt know what the fuck kinda look wade was going for but it sure was something, logan just chose to come out in his flannel and tank top and jeans, his outfit he felt most comfortable in, although the jeans were pissing him the hell off too, maybe that was just because they couldnt hold the shape of his packer and it looked like he had no dick, he really hated to admit how self concoius he felt going round outside when he felt he didnt look right.

But he could distract himself from those feelings by letting himself get pissed off by wade.

Wade, who now he had tuned back into the mans ramblings, he realised he was talking about logan, apparently his favourite topic of conversation,

“Y’know I'm not a natural bottom, but I'd be willing to do anything for you, babygirl!”

Logan just turned his head round very slowly, ever so slight fuzz of alcohol feeling comforting instead of drowning,

“Yeah yeah haha, real funny wade.”

Wade looked over at him with a grin, this was the first time Logan replied to him all night,

“Who said I was joking peanut?”

Logan hesitated for a moment before scoffing,

“Take off your mask and look me in the eyes while you say that and I might just believe you.”

SKDJFGKLJDSFGSDF I AM ABOUT TO GO TO UNI YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEE

I have to sit in lectures all day and pretend I'm not thinking about Wade getting absolutely fucking WRECKED. this is going to haunt me. haunt me. :screams:

Also I love how every time Wade says 'not a natural bottom' you can just TELL he is lying. The lady doth protest too much, etc. etc. etc.

Logan's packer-woes are relatable, lmaoooo. I love him and I am so excited for this. Seriously. Thank you and everyone else who's also latched onto this headcanon - having more rep with the character I'm majorly projecting onto really does mean the world!

I can tell this fic is gonna be great fun already.... I can't wait.

[hanafubukki]

It was one day after club activities that Silver spoke up. They were walking home when he breached the topic of his fellow knight's relationship. He's sure to let him know he doesn't want to intrude where he's not welcome, but he's concerned about how his end of the breakup is going. Sebek insists that he's fine but Silver lets him know that he, Malleus, and Lilia have noticed he's been off ever since. It quickly dissolves to Sebek thinking Silver is insinuating that he isn't taking as good care of Malleus post-breakup, not listening to Silver's attempts to correct him. He is temporarily blinded by his usual stubbornness and doubles down that he should have never listened to Malleus and Lilia about courting. Although he did it for his liege, it would have been in his liege's better interest had he outright refused. He should have known better than to let something distract him from the duty he has sworn his life to. For a few days he avoids you completely. He sees you in his peripheral? He moves so he doesn't see you. You're sharing PE? He's juggling the task of keeping track of where you are just so he can stay as far away as possible. At lunch? He stares directly at the floor so that he can't see which line you're standing in. He later laments in his room, sitting on his bed with his hands on his head, that all his efforts to avoid you as to not be distracted has actually made him pay more attention to you, such as the day in PE when you injured yourself and he made a mental note to avoid the nurse's office (but his mind couldn't help but nagg at him, asking if your injury was being treated properly). It had also made him aware of how his heartbeat would quicken when he did think of/tried to avoid you. He was aware now that the more he tried to pull away, the more he wanted to find you and... pull you into his arms? Hold you in his grasp as you just felt each other, or sit in a cozy chair together and read, or have you feed him snacks as you study together, or feel your hands run through his hair either to slick it back for the day or relax it for the night, or sit together in the botanical garden as he tells you about what he and Malleus had been up to lately while you doodled out those very stories for him to keep in a secret album in his room, or share a broom together in PE where he can feel your arms around his waist as you hold on to him, or help you move furniture in ramshackle to inconspicuously show off how much stronger than a regular human he is, or perhaps he may even be able to spend the night and experience falling asleep with your warmth and comforting presence beside him, or-

His eyes glanced up to the portrait of Malleus on his wall. Oh lord Malleus, forgive him for his sins...he releases a sigh as he stands up, solemnly resolved.

Such an unworthy retainer, he was, to dare knock on his liege's door in order to seek council for his own personal shortcomings. Malleus was at first concerned, especially given the serious yet troubled expression Sebek was making as he looked anywhere but at Malleus himself and that he had trouble speaking of why he came to talk. He waited for Sebek to speak his mind, but it wasn't happening. Sebek didn't know what to say- what was troubled over exactly? The subject was of course you, but...."Waka-sama...I...I do not feel myself and I don't know why. I do not want it to impact my duties as your loyal knight, but I- I have not encountered something like this before, thus I do not know how to fix it."

Malleus made a sound of surprise, his eyes widening before his expression reverting to normal, "Is that so? Well, I am glad you came to me. I will do my best to help you sort out your problem. Let's start with the source. Do you know what is causing it?" Sebek's face turns red and he's reluctant to answer, but he mustn't keep his lord waiting. "...___." Malleus feels a hint of giddiness in his stomach at his answer. He sees what this is about now.

(Skip because I cannot write figuring out feelings 😔)

(Continued next ask)

-Fake Date Sebek Anon

(Fake Date Sebek Anonie’s fic: part 1 and part 2)

Hello Fake Date Sebek Anonie 🌷💞🌺

SILVER Speaking up lets goooo and then Sebek just becomes even more in denial, Sebek noooo 😭

Sebek becoming more enamored??? Wanting to hug you and cuddle you and spend time with you??

THEN DO IT?!?! You stubborn one!!

“Oh lord malleus forgive him for his sins” had me laughing 🤣🤣

The fact he went to Malleus for advice!!! That’s adorable!!! You know it would have taken him everything and he must have been really stumped to go to malleus.

Because of course lord malleus would know wouldn’t he??

The way malleus is so giddy about it has me laughing 🤣🤣

What better way to keep mc close than marrying them to a retainer 😂😂

Ohhh I can imagine deuce and ace and grim not letting Sebek get away from hurting mc either.

Poor sebek, this is due to your stubbornness. 🫡

[howtofightwrite]

Hi! Are there certain types of asks you don’t respond to, and/or do you have a huge backlog of them? I sent one in like 3 or 4 months ago and still haven’t seen it come out, so I’m just curious as to what’s going on :) (I’m sorry if you do have guidelines posted anywhere I could not find them)

There are a few topics we won't touch. As a general rule, we're not particularly interested in covering sexual violence, violence on children, child abuse, and animal abuse. That list shouldn't be much of a surprise.

Beyond that, there are a few other things we, generally, won't cover.

The most common are cases where someone wants us to write their fight scene for them. We do offer that as a Patreon perk, but it's not something we're ever likely to do for free here. Off-hand, I think we've gotten about a dozen of those asks this year. The most recent was in the last couple weeks. Now, some of these asks do get public responses, but it's usually in the form of discussing world-building, or because one of us thinks we can get something interesting out of it. The recent “water horse,” question was one of these. So was Professional Monster Removal, now that I think about it. The original ask didn't come through Tumblr, and so I decided to revise it without the prompt. Which, part of why the tone of first couple paragraphs didn't exactly match the rest of the text (if anyone noticed.)

We also can't privately audit your work. At least, not through the ask system. This does come up from time to time when someone will send a sample of their writing (this did happen twice in the last four months.) There's two issues here. One, I wouldn't, so you'd get Michi editing and she is an absolutely merciless editor. The second thing is, there isn't really a way to do that privately in Tumblr. If you did it through Patreon, it would probably be through a shared Google Doc, or via Discord, but if you're in that tier, get in touch, and we can work with you.

I know this isn't relevant to you, but hate mail doesn't generally get a response. This should go without saying, but, I did publicly clown on that Dragon Age fanfiction writer over her attempted death threats a few years back. Similarly most of the misogynistic responses from Women are not Weaker than Men, or any of the subsequent posts, tends to get summarily executed. That stray fan of Shane O'Mara who never really understood his work, tends to get ignored. Though, I haven't seen anything from them in a year or two. Similarly, that guy who wanted me to know that “Space lizards are very important for the economy,” will probably have to wait... forever.

The real problem you're running into is probably because of how our backlog works. It tends to runs in a FILO pattern. That is to say, “first in, last out,” meaning new asks go on the top of the pile, and pushing down earlier questions in the queue. This has more to do with how Tumblr organizes its inbox rather than an intentional decision. For example, if I remember a question from five years ago, and want to answer it, I probably could not find it. I might be able to write up a post without that ask, but I wouldn't be able to notify the original sender (assuming they still use Tumblr.) This is the other reason that the dude who wanted to talk about space lizard economics will have to wait forever, that question was in 2013 or 2014, and there are roughly four-thousand asks burying his inquiry. (As a general rule, the only stuff that actually gets deleted is some of the hate mail.)

Another way to ensure a question won't get answered is to send it to Michi's personal Tumblr blog. There's only 153 in there, but, when answered, they don't get posted to How to Fight Write, and as a result, they're likely to get missed. (To be fair, the most recent ask in her inbox is from April 20, 2021, so that's not you.)

If you're asking about invisible lightsabers, I wouldn't completely give up hope. It wasn't really suitable for a full post, but assuming I can get Tumblr's inbox to cooperate again, it might show up in a batch of questions like the ones earlier this week.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

[saveraedae]

Why TMS (2020) episode 1 is not your most viewed video?

I can think of quite a few reasons,

but overall I'm not really worried about it, because I know there's nothing I can do but make sure episode 2 is the best it can possibly be! :D i really am super excited to show people what I'm working on

(ALSO I AM SO SORRY THIS GOT LONG AND KINDA DEEP FJHJKHF and a little off topic BUT ITS STILL RELATED TO TMS)

This is what I've observed over the years, so may I present to you,

Possible reasons as to why episode 1 isn't a hit / why TMS is so obscure:

Episode 1 is very amateur. I made it when I was still in high school. It has poor sound design, poor scene composition, isn't animated, and I believe the script could've benefited from one last rewrite. Most people who've viewed it, I assume, generally consider it nothing to write home about unless they happened to get invested in the story/characters, went to look at my other work and got interested that way, or were around before Friend Fiction came out. Not to mention, it's animatics, there's no color.

It has no furry characters or fantasy elements. "What could this boring old human show possibly have to offer? Real stuff is too boring!" Furry characters in your project are essentially a cheat sheet to success, you already have the major one-up of the possibility of mass appeal to your project just by including characters that WILL appeal to an already existing large-but-niche community of people. TMS is just goofy looking humans that look incredibly normal, because it's a grounded-in-reality show.

There's nothing exactly like it anywhere out there. At least... not in terms of animated media. There's stuff TMS as a whole is similar to, but in terms of what it all really is, there isn't anything exactly like it. People in entertainment say if you offer something new that people will automatically flock to it, but that couldn't be further from the case. I do believe in some aspects it could have a larger mass appeal if it were to gain more traction, especially with people interested in media with complex and nuanced narratives, foremost-focus on character dynamics over story, but still offer a silly cartoon slice of life vibe, and people who have a strong connection to mental health struggles, especially the more dynamic and complex issues, but I have never been able to draw in many just from doing my own thing. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's always had a VERY small and incredibly niche audience of people that vocally supported it. That is really hella cool that anyone even likes my work. I have noticed however that in terms of the public eye (posts on publicly accessible social media) it's rare to see posts about it from those who like it, those who hate it, or even posts that mention it in the first place lol. Usually it's 1-2 people at a time that'll be super into it, don't have anyone to talk to about it, and they lose interest. (Small fandom struggles, been there, done that.) Nothing really I can do about that though, that's not something I have any control over unless I wanna look like a fool lmao. My goal with last year's Annual October Challenge being 'post on socials and you can win a prize' was to encourage public posting about it so more people can be aware TMS even exists. Obviously I can't force anyone to do anything, but y'all really don't know how tremendously public engagement and ESPECIALLY comments help out small creators. If all we do is upsell ourselves with no one cheering us on / giving their thoughts / backing us up, we just look.... kinda goofy lol.

I'm not friends with any well-respected creators with bigger audiences. I kinda... go it alone? I've never really met anyone with more influence than me that was interested in TMS enough to wanna vocalize it publicly or do any type of collaboration with me. I've met some hella cool people throughout the years but I'm too socially traumatized from years of rejection to further pursue relationships with people lol.

Came from nothing, didn't go to college, and didn't grow up in LA. I don't exactly live in an area that's well-suited for the kind of work I'm doing, I have very very limited resources available within reasonable distance from me. Networking (and even travelling to animation-focused cons) is not something I'm financially able to do unfortunately, Momocon 2025 is a huuuge stretch goal for me that's gonna set me back a lot. And I have certain sentiments about post-high school education for art that determined why I never sought a degree.

That's just what I've observed as my time being a creator. In the end though I don't particularly care if it is ever 'popular.'

Would it be cool? I mean, could be!

Would it help things get done faster? Oh man absolutely. I'd have access to so many more resources and have so many more opportunities. Completely chill just doing everything alone though, even if I'm still trying to complete the full show when I'm like 50 LOL but yeah, more eyes on it would mean more people aware I exist/more people that want to offer to help me make everything come to life and not have it take 10000 years as a solo entrepreneur.

But as I said, if TMS never really gains traction, even after episode 2 (which will serve as a more polished looking, full proof of concept for the rest of the show,) eh, I don't really care. Because I'm making TMS really for me in the end anyway. I like these types of stories, I like these types of character dynamics, and I've always wanted to make it into a full length show.

Firm believer in the 'if you really want something, you WILL find a way to make it happen' mentality! ❤️

Don't believe people who try and sway you away from what you know deep in your heart you want.

[pangolin-404]

Im honestly really worried for ranboo. Most people that get this big on the internet either get desensitized to stuff and become a bit of an asshole (or a full asshole) or get destroyed because of how much they care. Ranboo seems to be heading towards the second category and I wish for them to be okay

[post]

I really have no idea where I see Ranboo going from here. There are plenty of big creators who do good (Jacksepticeye's Thankmas, MCC charity events) and to me, the Particles for Palestine event was like that. A big creator utilizing their platform to raise awareness and charity. I... genuinely I don't see how people are so upset with Ranboo over . what? Not doing more? Not coming out with in-depth, nuanced reactions to global events? When they probably knew as much as you or I did.

Yes he broke promises, he is not a guiltless victim; he kept playing TLOU2 even after told of its inspiration, he didn't do as much charity as he said he would, and it's good he's acknowledging that, but this visceral reaction to him runs deeper than that, it looks like? I feel like he should stop raising peoples' expectations and over-promising; he's one guy, he's young.

I know it's probably mostly in Twitter--in the Tumblr tags, the worst I saw was a couple people calling them spineless (sorry Ranboo, but good lird, he is a little bit spineless for not telling people to stop idolizing him). But I can't wrap my head around the logic behind people going after his ankles.

Now, I personally can't think of anyone fitting the "get destroyed" option you claim has happened, Anon. So I'll be honest I think it's a little bit overdramatic, but I agree with you in that I'm also worried for Ranboo.

I worry that a whole nonprofit will be too much for them. That is a whole organization, and even if they have others working with them, that is a lifelong commitment. This is something he cannot back out of (or he will be making another empty promise) or give to someone else to handle (he said he would be active in it).

Ranboo has Generation Loss/Chronicle 0, White Noise, The Sorry Boys (if that still exists. please it's been months,), his usual streams and YouTube videos, and his own personal life and self to tend to. Genuinely, I worry a whole entire nonprofit organization that intends to address very heavy topics will break the camel's back. I don't know what that will look like, but I doubt it'd be great for his mental health and anxiety (and I worry talking too much about that, lest I get parasocial, if I haven't already!).

(I'll be honest, I don't expect the organization to go anywhere past its first few months of existence; if it does, it will be without their major role in it, or they'd be stretched too thin. I feel bad for saying that.)

All due respect to him, of course, but he is a variety gamer on twitch dot teevee, and I do not understand why people demand more and more charity and apology from him when his job is to play video games and make people laugh.

I get why people want him to state his stances, to be assured he supports Palestine. To be vocal about a tragedy happening. I get why people expect a charity stream during pride month, or an eventual donation to somewhere to help during a disaster. What I do not understand is how this isn't enough for some people.

to quote something I said when talking to a friend about this: I think he should tweet "yall need to respect me as a regular everyday person and stop seeing me as a paragon" and delete twitter and turn off the internet in his house

[i-am-church-the-cat]

this is gonna be kind of a ramble feel free to ignore

i don't get people being attracted to lando norris. like i can usually see the appeal, even if i don't agree, such as with charles. but lando? idk he has nice eyes?

i like that he's funny, he has a very interesting personality, and i think he would make a good art piece, but i don't think he's attractive in any applicable way.

like the people who were all like "the mclaren suit looks good when it's on lando bc he makes it look good"? i disagree

and while we're on the topic, i don't get people's obsession with seb either. he's clearly a cool guy but i have no attraction to him or his story in any compelling way. like at least with lando i'm rooting for his win.

like, seb, charles, and lando are all really popular and i don't. understand really. lando's kind of funny, seb is nice, and charles is also nice and has his funny moments and looks like he should be a statue instead of a person (neg)

i'd say what most compels me about charles is that i really want him to win in monaco bc the loyalty he has to his country, his family, and ferrari is actually really commendable. as someone who's loyal to a fault, this is the one thing i respect most about him, even if i dislike ferrari. is charles a taurus? no i just looked it up he's a libra. that makes sense

anyway, i also have this strong feeling against learning anything else about charles, lando, or seb partly BECAUSE they're so popular. like, you didn't win me over in the first 6 months, you don't get a do-over

yk what's really annoying though? zhou's just as nice and pretty as charles, has just as much loyalty to his country, was also in the ferrari driver academy, but does anyone care about him? NO! everyone should be a zhou guanyu fan, literally king among men. he also just got a cat and she is absolute fucking adorable

im gonna make a separate zhou post bc he deserves his own spotlight outside of the negativity of this post but yeah.

lando seb and charles being so popular pisses me off bc i don't enjoy content from them. and i think, in lando and charles's sake, this is bc they are both a part of popular ships that i despise, and that's not their fault

i wanna make it clear though: i don't hate lando or charles? i really want them to succeed as drivers, i was really upset when charles lost in vegas + lando's crash scared the shit out of me. but i would like to be able to exist within the f1 fandom and just, not come into contact with them

and im sure there are a bunch of people who feel that way about drivers i like, like daniel and lewis, but it's also super annoying when my FAVORITE drivers get barely any coverage compared to these personalities that are like. meh to me. yk?

i don't think anyone's gonna read this, and ik how i feel doesn't really change anything. people are going to keep liking lando and charles, they're gonna keep thinking lando is attractive, they're gonna keep shipping landoscar and lestappen, it's whatever. but like, ugh it's annoying that i can't go anywhere w/o seeing it. i don't want to see it, it's really really not what i want to see, but i don't have a CHOICE, yk?

anyway yeah, ramble over

[cherrytree-irl]

offscreen post: can i offer you an egg in this trying time

The four people all stare silently at each other, nobody knowing how to start the conversation.

A sniffle breaks the silence— it's Sylvan, who has started crying.

"Oh—" Azalea looks around, before tearing a paper towel off a nearby roll.

Placing a hand on his shoulder, Azalea uses the paper towel to wipe the tears from Sylvan's cheek

"Don't cry, Princess..." She says softly. Sylvan's too overwhelmed to care about the feminine nickname he'd usually cringe at.

"It's good to see you, Heather." Azalea says. "It's been a long time..."

"Fifteen years." Oliver says.

Azalea looks to her eldest son and smiles wistfully.

"And look how much you two have grown!" She says.

She wipes a tear from her eye. "Oh, I think I might cry, too... come here!"

She gestures everyone to gather for a group hug. The mother and her children all embrace each other tightly.

Azalea is startled by something smaller grabbing the back of her leg. She breaks the hug and turns around. A very young child is standing there, holding a piece of paper.

"Oh! Hi, Willow!" Azalea says.

"Hi Mum!" The child— Willow— responds.

"Look, I drew a picture!" She continues, holding up the piece of paper at her mom.

"Oh, very nice! Er... what is it, exactly...?" Azalea replies.

Sylvan takes a look at the drawing. It's not good, obviously, but he's pretty sure he knows what it is.

"I, um—" Sylvan's voice comes out too raspy, and he has to clear his throat before continuing, "It's a Creeper from Minecraft, I think..."

"Yeah!" Willow cheers.

"Oh, right. Are those theee.... explodey ones?" Azalea asks.

"Uh-huh!" Willow says.

"Well, that's very nice, sweetie. Now, there's some important people I'd like you to meet."

Azalea gestures to Oliver. "This is your big brother, Oliver..."

And to Sylvan. "...And your big sister, Heather."

"Um..." Sylvan mumbles.

"He goes by Sylvan now." Oliver asserts.

"What...?" Azalea asks sternly.

"Willow, dear, this is actually your big brother, Sylvan." Oliver says.

"Oh." Willow responds quietly.

"I only gave birth to one son." Azalea says.

"And now you have two. Isn't it neat how things change~?"

"No, no. That's not how this works. Heather will always be my daughter!"

"I don't understand what you're mad about!" Oliver yells. "He's living as his ideal self, just like you always told us to!"

"Trying to follow a ridiculous fantasy is not living as your ideal self!"

"Then what IS? Living as whatever YOU want us to be? If you wanted to shape Sylvan according to your ideals, you should have BEEN THERE FOR HIM!"

"I don't—"

Sylvan can feel his blood begin to boil. Tears once again begin to prick his eyes, and his brain is screaming at him to run. Leave. He needs to be anywhere but here. This isn't even caused by his mother's disrespect— he's upset about that, of course, but— this is about the arguing.

He can't stand it. He needs to leave, but he can't. He digs his right fingernails into his left hand; it's all he can think of to do. It doesn't really help with anything, but he keeps doing it anyway. He doesn't know why.

"SHUT UP!" Sylvan interjects. "It's fine! Call me whatever you want, I don't care! Can we move on!?"

Everyone stares at Sylvan. Their eyes bore into him like Excadrill in the dirt.

Laelia clears her throat. "Here, I have a new topic: Were you ever going to tell me? To tell us?" She says, gesturing at where Willow was.

She looks at the spot, now empty, and says, "Huh. Guess Willow had enough of all that. Anyway, were you ever going to tell us we had two brothers?!"

"You don't have two brothers." Azalea responds.

"WHATEVER. That's not the point! I was never going to learn I had more siblings if it weren't for— bloody Rotomblr!"

"And your life was perfectly fine without knowing about them, wasn't it? I didn't want you and Willow going about your life thinking about people you were never going to see again! I— I didn't... I didn't want you to have to miss them as much as I did..."

"I..." Laelia starts talking, but seems to be at a loss for what to say. She glowers, but seems to surrender.

"Alright." Azalea says. She looks to Sylvan. "Your turn. Do you have anything you want to yell at me about?"

Sylvan's gaze is focused downward, though he's not really looking at anything. He shakes his head somberly.

Suddenly, a Blissey walks into the room and hands Sylvan an egg.

"Oh. Hi, Sunny." Laelia says nonchalantly.

The Blissey makes a strange but cheerful-sounding noise.

Sylvan stares dumbfoundedly at the egg. He cracks a slight smile. Then he starts laughing.

"Thank you? For the egg?" He says through his laughter. "Sorry, I don't— I don't mean to laugh at your gift, I just..."

"Oh, she doesn't care about that!" Azalea says. "She's just glad to see you smile. And I am too."

"Oh." Sylvan's not really sure what else to say to that.

"Here, how about I make something... with egg in it... for lunch, and we can all catch up. Calmly, I hope." Azalea proposes.

"Um." Sylvan looks at Sunny. She seems happy with this. "Sure, okay."

"Sounds good to me." Oliver says.

"Okay." Laelia says. "I'm gonna... go make sure Willow's alright."

"Oh, thank you." Azalea replies.

Laelia walks off. Sylvan hands Azalea the egg and she turns toward the kitchen counter to get started. Then she asks a very complicated question.

"So, what have you two been up to?"

[top500]

#434 Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain (1994)

Coming in with a very textbook indie album for you today. That's not to say this work isn't original or creative, but it frames the alt and indie scene of the 90's well. From what I can gather, the post punk 90's were all about slow and sad rock songs with slow and sad intentions. This is the second of five albums released by Pavement which ended up being their most popular album and contained some of their more well know tracks like Cut your hair and Range life. My initial reactions to this album is that it's firmly in the depressive, question everything, what is my life worth?, type of music. Even when the music is upbeat, the lyrics and vocal style are usually talking about how shitty it is to be where we are right now, and how cool it would be to be anywhere else in the world. This is a sentiment I think a lot of teens and pre teens go through, at least in the US where I grew up and still live. Some of the reviews and critiques of the album and the band focus on them complaining about teenage problems specifically but I think that's a cleaver way for the band to bring more existentialist topics into their music.

The most popular song on this album is Cut your hair which pokes fun at the importance of image in the music industry. I can't think of a more 90's indie band thing to do than make a song that makes fun of the industry that you are a part of. Not only that but it's done in a sarcastic and ironic way that you would only expect a group of lanky white dudes from California to be able to pull off. We do get a good display of lead guitarist Scott Kannberg's style in songs like 5-4=Unity and Stop Breathin' (could there be a more emo name to a song???) which in my mind blends popular rock styles like Red Hot Chilli Peppers with nods to slower and more introspective groups like maybe The Pixies. I've gotta say that this is a pretty well rounded album for a 90's indie band. They paint an immensely clear picture of who they are and what their mission is. I wasn't even alive when this album came out but from what I can gather about the early 90's is that the new generation of people was not super excited about the future that had been laid out for them by their parents and grandparents and the best way to solve it was to get angsty and get loud.

Give it a listen, see what you think.

[clanoffelidae]

i'm not putting this one under a read more because i think it's actually important this time you're just gonna have to scroll lol

(if it's under a read more it's honestly mostly just for me to say things 'out loud' and get them out of my head than really wanting anyone to read it, lol. if it's not and it's just bc it's long then i usually try to specify that above the read more)

you know what, i think i'm actually okay to try and use tumblr again so long as it stays extremely limited. i'm not going to download the app again because i know i'll start scrolling endlessly again if i do that, so i'm going to keep it limited to desktop. and i'm also going to try and keep it limited to only posting things myself or looking for very specific things (like i have a friend's webcomic i need to read!!! so i'll be doing that, but that kind of stuff), not just scrolling my dash for 5 million years

because initially why i stepped back was because i had just had a very real and personal fear of mine about encountering someone who hurt me again used as a weapon against me and it left me so deeply shaken i had to shut down everything, logging out of everything and cutting myself off from outside contact because everything was suddenly so overwhelming i was just spinning and not getting anywhere because of how upset i was as it sunk in. like i was up all night and didn't manage to get myself to take a shower until 7am and then finally got a little sleep at like 9am or so, when i made the call to get away from tumblr (and not JUST tumblr either) i was not okay

(irrational because they're not even on the same continent, have no idea who i am, and i can easily block them (and have!); but the part of my brain that was hurt has some trouble accepting that <3)

but i've had a few weeks to process everything and talked out what happened with some friends and i'm not in the same shocked and spiraling state that i was

(as anonymously as possible, whenever i have miscommunication issues i often try to explain what happened to friends to see if they can help me figure out what happened since my dumb neurodivergent brain is often confused by the event; but for privacy's sake i always keep things as anonymous and vague as possible, and won't mention the names of the places where i met the people involved, never mind the names of the people themselves; i'm genuinely just trying to get help to figure out what happened and process it, not gossip about it or otherwise be unfair to the people involved in any way! i just have trouble understanding things that aren't said as directly as humanly possible sometimes and try to get help from others to translate <3 it's part of why i overexplain so much, i need to make sure we're all on the EXACT same page and not leave anything up to chance. and hey it's my blog so anyone reading this should be used to it by now lmao)

i'm still hurt by it, yes! seeing stuff related to the fandom it happened in is still a bit much right now if it's not something i'm seeking out in a very controlled way, it just makes me think about it too much and brings the hurt back up. so part of why i'm staying off my dash and not scrolling is still for my own mental health, to not risk putting myself in a situation where it all gets brought back up to the surface when i'm not in a place to approach the topic in a controlled manner. (like, i don't want to take a 15 minute break at work and suddenly get stressed out and reminded of things. i'm trying to chill and have a snack not ruin my day lol)

but i'm not so hurt i'm in a place where i can't start putting myself back out there a little bit, and since i feel like i can i want to start doing so so as to start addressing it and getting myself sorted again.

but i also noticed, very quickly, just how much tumblr was taking up in my life. i hesitate to call it a full addiction, because addictions often interfere with one's ability to take care of themself, and i certainly wasn't at that point, oh no! tumblr did not get in the way of me feeding myself or sleeping or any of that.

but it had very much become my go-to when i had free time, and i don't like that.

i wasn't really doing many other things that i enjoy. i wasn't reading, or playing any of the games i like, or writing, or trying to one day claw my way through that blender tutorial lol. and i don't like that. so i'm taking measures to make sure that that doesn't happen again.

i think i'm in a place where i can trust myself to log on and not start immediately scrolling or give in to temptation, it's been a couple weeks. i feel like i can trust myself to log on with a specific goal in mind, like make a post or go read the next page of the webcomic, and then log off again. so that's what i'm going to try!

so, in a way, i guess both reasons are for my mental health really, lol. just two different aspects of it.

but regardless, hello again! i still have covid, unfortunately, and while tomorrow was actually my original return to work date i'm still shedding a lot of virus so since HR didn't respond my supervisor told me to just stay home and hope for monday. it's already the end of the week at this point lol

i'm doing pretty well fine tho! still have a little bit of congestion and cough, but the latter is mostly only a problem if i talk for a few minutes and start irritating my throat again. i wasn't doing so great last weekend, chest was rattling and i was having to very shallowly hyperventilate to get enough oxygen, by the end of it i was really understanding a bit too well how people end up on ventilators, it was taking so much effort and focus to try and muster up the strength to cough the stuff out of my lungs y'all, but fortunately i seem to have patched myself back together well enough! the worst of it was over by monday afternoon-tuesday, honestly, the cough and congestion have just been slow to fully fade. the bad part is that i'm still contagious as all get out lol, and i don't have the option of hiding in an office to work F

not really sure what i'm gonna be doing on here for the next bit beyond reading the webcomic n such. i had some plans for some posts i wanted to make but then i kinda got sick so that hasn't happened yet lol. maybe i'll work on those a bit. i feel like i had some shorter ones that were just idle comments i could say and dip but it's been like a week and a half since i last thought about them due to the ✨extenuating circumstances✨ so i can't quite remember off the top of my head. i was ranting about philosophy at @/korvidking on discord earlier so i might just reformat that a bit so it's comprehensible without the context of the rest of the convo lol

hm. we'll see i guess lol.

but hi! hope everyone's doing well <3 don't exactly have a HUGE follower base but there's some people who've been around here for quite a while and i hope you guys have had a good couple of weeks, whether we're mutuals or not <3

if you actually read everything and didn't just scroll past immediately you are strong and will continue to pass on your genes, if you just scrolled past you are weak and will not survive the end times but it's not like you're reading this anyway so the strong will just get to live with the ominous prophecy on your behalf

like come on, 95% of the time if i make a post of any significant length i put it under a read more, you can be brave and strong this once i'm sure lol

[fe-fictions]

Hey! Saw your post and wanted to help! Can we please get some more Alfonse back on this blog? Maybe the summoner gets hurt and hides a wound from him?

I hope everything goes well for you! I can't even imagine going through all those things you mentioned at the same time.

(Some long overdue Alfonse fluff!!!!!!)

Alfonse isn’t anywhere near as observant as you; hence why you call the orders, and Alfonse swings his blade wherever you direct it.

But that didn’t mean he was oblivious. He spotted you flinch when Anna clapped a hand on your back after battle, that day. And at dinner, you seemed rather on edge whenever you had to sit down, or stand up.

Your movements were suddenly stiff, and you were more withdrawn. He attempted to ask if you were well, but you dismissed it as being tired. 

He was no fool, either. And it sent a little twinge in his heart to think you could get out of his concern so easily.

“Kiran, a moment?”

He caught you before you were able to escape the mess hall, touching his hand to yours. You startled some, glancing up at him before quickly looking back away.

“Is it important, Alfonse? I’d really like to get some sleep.”

“We can talk as we go.” He offered, nudging you along. He deliberately slowed his gait to match yours. It was at least two paces slower than usual.

He lulled you into a false sense of security by discussing some war-related topic, though you were clearly distracted from it.

There was visible relief on your face when you stopped at your tent, still avoiding the prince’s gaze.

“Well, this is me.” You managed a small smile, “Thanks for bringing me back. Is that all?”

“Actually…” Alfonse trailed off, watching the color drain from your face. “Let’s head inside.” 

His suggestion was an order. You quietly tracked into your tent, and he made sure to latch it shut behind him before the prince looked back at you.

You were officially trapped.

“You’re not tired at all, are you?”

“I-I am!” 

“But not just because of the busy day.” He frowned, “You’re injured, aren’t you?”

Your lips drew into a thin line. Admission by silence, he decided.

“Let me see.”

“It’s…it’s not that bad. I just didn’t want to worry anyone with it.” 

“I’m afraid it didn’t work very well- you have no idea how anxiety-inducing it is, watching you act completely out of the ordinary.” Alfonse responded, helping you gently slip the coat from your shoulders. 

As he came around behind you, his suspicions were totally confirmed; there was a mess of poorly applied bandages around your shoulder and upper arm.

Worse yet, it had all been bled through and in desperate need of cleaning and replacement.

“Kiran!!”

“W-what?”

“What do you mean, ‘What’? This is bad!” He exclaimed despite himself, quickly setting the coat aside and ordering you to sit on your cot. “Where are your medical supplies?”

“My first aid is over in that trunk,” You nodded your head in the direction of the bin.

He wasted no time in retrieving it, finding the bandages you’d pulled from in a jumbled mess at the top.

“You couldn’t even wrap it back up properly- gods, Kiran, what were you thinking? This is dangerous!”

“I-it’s really not that bad! I knew it’d need some fixing up later, but the healers were already so busy. I didn’t think a cut would be worth using a stave for when others were worse off.”

“You could’ve bled out. Look at this; it’s not even fastened right. No wonder you’ve been so awkward all day. You must be in a lot of pain.”

“Well, it’s not comfortable…”

Alfonse shook his head, focusing his efforts on untangling the bandages so he could re-dress your wound.

The prince cut away the soiled fabric, getting a proper look at the nasty thing; that cut was less than forgiving. It looked like the work of a long blade, but was thankfully shallow enough that it hadn’t cut to bone.

“You’re lucky; it doesn’t look like it hit anything too serious.” Alfonse murmured, fishing out a small towel from the med kit and dabbing at the blood around the wound. 

You tensed some, clearly not enjoying the feeling of it. He couldn’t blame you. It was a nasty injury, even if it wasn’t the worst one you’d ever gotten.

He was methodical and efficient in his work, taking great care not to hurt you any more than you were already. A healing salve was gingerly coated over the cut, and was tightly wrapped and fastened not long after.

“There,” Alfonse touched your other shoulder, “All done.”

“Thank you, Alfonse…” 

“We’ll still need Sharena to look at it in the morning.” He said as he put the supplies back away, “But I think you’ll be in the clear for now.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you.” You said quietly, “I just didn’t want to make a big deal out of it.”

“Hey, you’re our one and only Kiran; if you’re hurt, we’re gonna worry regardless. Especially me,” He added with a small smile, returning to your side. “You should lie down on your stomach when you sleep tonight. Easier on your injury.”

“...Can you stay with me?”

He paused when he heard the quiet request, and found your ears tinged red when you looked away. Heat flushed his cheeks.

“U-uh…are you sure? I mean, I can, I just don’t know what the others would say if they found out.”

“They haven’t figure it out yet,” You proffered, peeking up at him bashfully. “At least until I fall asleep?”

He smiled softly; how could he ever say no to you?

“All right. At least until you’re asleep.” He agreed, taking off his chest plate and gloves, lowering himself down so that he was lying down beside you. 

He gazed at you quietly, the two of you suddenly much more shy now that you were face to face.

"…Thank you, Al...I’m really glad you took care of me.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s my job to make sure you’re okay. I don’t know what I’d do if you got hurt and I didn't help.” He murmured, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

You beamed, his touch a pleasant sensation that warmed you from head to toe.

“I’ll be more careful from now on. Sorry I didn’t say something sooner.”

“It’s okay. Next time, just come to me i you get hurt before you try and take it on alone. I’ll always be there to help you out.”

“And then comfort me after you nurse me?” You giggled, earning a handsome flush to his reddening cheeks. "W-well, I mean…if that’s what you need, I’ll do it in a heartbeat.”

It would delight you to no end, knowing that he was so very sweet for you, and willing to do anything to make you happy.

Or, at least, make sure you didn’t accidentally mess yourself up worse in an attempt to handle your problems on your own.

Why bother, when you had such a handsome blueberry ready to move mountains just for you?

[blushing-titan]

My thoughts on ch. 139

Some of you may be familiar with my previous writings - I usually try to stay as collected as possible, but today's post will be different. Ever since the chapter came out, I've been reblogging a lot of rants and memes about it. Those of you who follow my blog (thank you so much, really happy to have you here! ❤) know that I didn't really enjoy this ending. I want to elaborate more on that in this post - my only advice is to buckle up, because today we may get a bit heated (I apologize in advance for the sassy approach - I usually try to stray away from that, but guess today's post is more of a stream of conciousness/rant) :'D

1. Ymir

Starting up with one of the most controversial things about this chapter. Up to this point, I felt really bad for Ymir. Her life was terrible - she was a young girl, who was enslaved and abused by king Shitz Fritz. After she was forced to run away from his hounds, she acquired the power of titans and used it to help the king's cause. For that, she was awarded with the king's seed (🤢), and eventually became a mother of three girls. Through her entire life, she was treated as a slave and a lesser-being by the king - she also died while protecting him, and her daughters were forced to eat her remains after that (🤢🤢).

It felt so tragic to see her 2000 years later, still walking blindly in the paths. It wasn't enough that she was hurt so badly when she was still alive - she remained enslaved to the abusive king even after she died. I was rooting for her to finally be freed from this nightmare - hence I was so happy when ch. 122 came out and we got this scene:

I was genuinely emotional when I saw her reaction. Finally, someone expressed some authentic care for her and tried to snap her out of this blind state. She would finally think about what she wants and try to free herself from the paths because, as Eren said, she was never a slave or a goddess - just a regular person. It's just like she finally let out all the pain that she's been suppressing for all these years.

Yeah...except, as it turns out, her awakening here changes nothing. She doesn't come to any conclusions, like, perhaps, that she doesn’t want to let herself be hurt and mistreated any longer...or that she should fight for herself, try to change her fate - because, after all, her life belongs to her - not anyone else.

Nothing like this happens. Why? Because, as it turns out, she's in love with king Fritz and needs to be proven by Mikasa that she can break this bond first.

....

💀💀💀💀

Excuse me, but...what?

Okay, first and foremost...am I supposed to believe that, during these 2000 years, no one else has gone against their unhealthy affection to someone toxic and unworthy of their love? No one? 🤡 Come on, we even saw that happen in the manga. What about Historia, who thought that her own mother hitting her was a sign of love? Who wanted to believe that her father was good, despite wanting to turn her into a titan? Where was Ymir when Historia stood up for herself against her father's wishes? Or when she flew up to him and delivered the final blow against him?

On top of that...what a disappointing conclusion to Ymir's story. I hoped that she would take her fate into her own hands, and - for example - be reborn and experience life as a free person, surrounded by people who actually care about her. Free herself from paths and destroy it - not because someone shows her that she can indeed detach herself from it, but simply because she wants to.

Instead, 80% of the world population is gone, because she needed to see that Mikasa is able to "free" herself from Eren in order to do the same.

🤡🤡🤡

2. Abandoned plotlines and plot-holes

Mikasa being a Hizuru princess? Never heard of that. Hallucigenia's fate? Who cares. Eren directing Dina's titan in Carla's direction in order to save Berthold? Nah, who would want any more info on that - guess he just couldn't direct her anywhere else. The Ackerman's headaches? Pfff. The fact that Mikasa shouldn't be affected by the memory altering, but somehow still is in the ending? "I guess she just forgot that she should be immune to this". Why was Historia's pregnancy implied as relevant if it wasn't in the end? So many precious panels wasted on that, when they could be used to help solve some other "unanswered questions" instead. Ehhh...🤷

3. Blatant character assassination

There, I'm saying it once again. I have no idea what happened in this chapter but the characters are off. What about Eren - the one who has always believed that freedom was his birthright, and has been fighting and moving forward for his goals? Yeah, turns out he has no idea why he was doing all of that. 

Remember Kenny's quote - everyone is a slave to something? I thought that this implication was pretty poetic in context of Eren's character. Through all his life, he sought freedom, but ironically, he was a slave to that dream...

...turns out it may have been a bit too poetic for this story because Eren is a slave to destiny. Literally - he's going on auto-pilot in order to reach that one moment in which Mikasa beheads him, so Ymir can watch and understand that she can do the same.

Nice joke...except not. Here go our main character's motivations 🗑

He casually commits unjustifiable crimes against humanity - not because he wants to be free or because he found the world beyond the walls disappointing, (...as we were led to believe). He did that because he doesn't know why - and then, he cries that he doesn't want Mikasa to ever find another guy.

:'))

Turns out Eren was somehow always in love with her too...? Yeah, weird way of showing it. Or should I say - not showing it at all.

If you read my previous writings, you know that I'm not very fond of Eremika. The way I interpreted it while reading the story: it was unhealthy, suffocating and one-sided. I hoped for Mikasa to move on and start thinking about herself for once.

Right, what about Mikasa? Has she finally moved on? Is she content with her life? Are her dreams coming true? What's her daily life after all this? Sadly, I don't have the answers. The thing we are shown instead, is how she's sitting next to Eren's grave and, once again, thanking him for wraping the scarf around her. The only thing that implies that she may be somehow still seeing other people is one bubble of text. After all 139 chapters of hoping for her character developement, that's it.

Keep in mind that all other characters are shown together - with their spouses, families and friends - yet Mikasa is still separated and alone. That's right - after she disappears with Eren's head, she's not shown with anyone else until the end of the manga.

While we're on the topic of others, too...do I have to talk about the scenes in which everyone shows some level of gratitude to Eren...for wiping 80% humanity for them? Because I have no words for this.

One last note: I found the humor to be slightly out of place, too. Seriously, after all these terrible events, with so many unanswered questions and character developement of these two...Reiner is still weirdly simping for (now married) Historia and Jean is called a horse face :') Idk, but it feels somehow surreal after everything that's happened.

4. Conclusion

What else can I say...the final chapter disappointed me and I'm pretty sad about it. I'm happy for the people who liked it, but also can't help but feel like it was very far from perfect. I've been following SnK ever since 2013 and it's a bittersweet moment for me. The series had a lot of amazing moments that I'll definitely remember forever. Meanwhile, I would like to read some of the author's thoughts about the way he chose to end the story - perhaps it would clear some confusion (...although I can't help the fact that my first opinion is already formed).

Thank you very much for reading my thoughts - as always, it means a lot to me! ❤ The images used in this post are obviously not mine!

[mostly-mundane-atla]

Well I got at least two people interested (@esmeralda-anistasia and @deathsmallcaps) so why not.

Quick disclaimer: I understand that some fans can be very sensitive to this topic and take general criticisms as personal attacks and jump to the defensive. Please don't justify your ships to me if you have that reaction to anything said in this post. It's not my business and if I'm honest I really don't care. Your experiences are not mine and will not change mine and nothing I'm about to say is meant to be read as an insult.

Okay onto the rarepairs in question!

I was ten years old when the episode Zuko Alone first aired and Ursa fascinated me. She was so elegant and sweet, and yet the implication was that she was also capable of assassination. Her disappearence and the fact everyone involved kept pretty hush-hush about her gave her character an air of mystery and Zuko's memories involving her made him a great deal more interesting and sympathetic (i still rolled my eyes every time he showed up and thought he didn't deserve all the cute moments with Mai until The Day of Black Sun, and even then still thought Jet was cooler in every way, but you can't please them all). She had quickly become a favorite character and I've held onto that adoration for about 15 years now.

I also really wanted her to kiss Hakoda.

They had compatible personalities and deserved some luck in love after all the heartbreak and trials, and they both loved their children despite having to leave. Ursa was never treated as dead, just gone. She could have been anywhere and there was nothing to say she couldn't have crossed paths with Hakoda and his men.

There was also something about it I didn't quite have the words or media exposure to explain. Often, in fandom or canon, if a relationship is biracial, the partner who is fairer-skinned and/or of the dominant or invading culture, who the audience sees themselves in, is the man and the one who is darker-skinned and/or marginalized or colonized is the woman (heteronormativity got a head start on this one). There's a lot of ugly "taming the savage" rhetoric in this, usually paired with blatant misogyny that's supposed to be in the woman's favor (like suggesting that a woman could only be complicit in this culture because it was what she was told and didn't know any better). The woman's family and friends who oppose this are depicted as unfairly prejudiced against this strange man as if their distaste for people who can be or have been responsible for things like genocide or subjugation is the same as the other side seeing these people as deserving of genocide or subjugation for the crime of not being like them. Sometimes it's the other way around, where the partner seen as "more civilized" is the woman and the one seen as "less civilized" is the man, in which case the woman is often abducted or otherwise the man's defining feature is his brutishness. This supposed brutishness is both intimidating and attractive to the oh so delicate if a bit repressed captive/wife (as well as the audience) and can manifest as being fiercely protective of her, which is how he shows his affection if there is a language barrier between them. And if you grow up Native, this is easy to pick up on and often in the back of your mind, because at least 90% of your media representation likely has some aspect mentioned above.

(Man that was a lot of academic style analysis)

But the dynamic between Hakoda and Ursa wouldn't leave room for any of that. Hakoda, as an absent parent backstory, is defined by having to leave despite how much he loved and would miss his children. Ursa, as an absent parent backstory, is defined by the crime she was willing to commit for her children (for Zuko specifically, but how long would it actually take for Azula to shoot her mouth off at the wrong place and time and also be targeted by Azulon?). Ursa was the one whose willingness to kill sent her fleeing into the night. The culture of her nation betrayed her and made her choose between her own safety and that of at least one of her children. Hakoda is charismatic and a good leader, but he is also soft spoken and understanding, and above all else, gentle. He isn't here to hurt innocents. He's here to see to it that the next generation of his people will not fear invaders or raids or even know that snow can be black from soot. And he's someone Ursa can finally feel safe around and confide in, and she could be the same for him. Someone he doesn't have to be the leader for, to whom he can admit that he just wants to be home and let the tears fall.

I'm honest enough to admit that one of the reasons I liked The Search was that Ikem wore his hair a lot like Hakoda did and that was close enough to it being canon for me.

Another one is Jin/Smellerbee. Something about their personalities strikes me as being so wonderfully harmonious and I like to imagine Jin, smooth-talking and streetwise but still the most genuine person, being the one to sit Smellerbee, who never really got a chance to think about these things, down and explain that anything she might be is okay. That it's okay to not be in love with a guy friend who gave her a purpose and loyal companionship. That it's okay to like girls. That she can have more than one partner. That it's okay to be different from what's considered normal and proper and not have an easy word to describe it. And eventually she'd realize it's true. And eventually she'd realize that she wasn't teasing when she called her beautiful in a wild sort of way.

I also like to think that Smellerbee clearly has more specialized fighting skills and is very good at what she does but Jin is strong enough to bench press her no problem. And Smellerbee acts all tough (because she is) but blushes whenever Jin calls her cute or pretty because she's not used to it.

Sometimes Longshot is involved too. Not as a third wheel or the exact same kind of partner, more like a ghibli style relationship with Smellerbee. Like is it a gentle romance? Is it an intimate friendship? It's love and they know that and don't have to define it by others' perception. And Jin gives Longshot kisses so he doesn't feel left out, which gets him a bit bashful because she really could have anyone, she already has Smellerbee of all people, and she still finds him deserving of a peck on the cheek. They probably all bunk together.

This actually started from a fic I wrote but don't intend on posting more than snippets of. Basically, i was tired of a lot of fanfic tropes, especially those having to do with friends to lovers and soulmates (this world is not kind to aromantics and the last thing I wanted in my escapism was romance being established as a level up for relationships), so I wrote something to actively subvert all of them. Jet and Smellerbee were each convinced they owed the other a romantic relationship after all they'd been through together, even though neither actually wanted it, because that's how all the stories go. So after he dies, she remembers all those times that would have been romantic if either was actually interested, but were instead just uncomfortable because it was entirely social convention and no feeling. But then she comes across Jin, who she's never met before, but who takes her in her arms and reassures her and sympathizes with her, and in this tiny apartment in this seedy side of town, she feels safe. She seeks permission for every touch and kiss and tells her this encounter doesn't have to be anything she isn't comfortable with. And when Smellerbee has to leave, Jin insists she take a candle to light her way, and winks when she says she can return it the day after. She gives her an excuse to visit again. And Smellerbee blushes and accepts it.

And then there's Teo/Haru and Teo/Ty Lee. No special reason I just think both would make a cute couple and want Teo to be happy. He's a good boy, more people should love him. Let him impress people with wheelchair tricks and get smooched.

[littlefreya]

Hey Freya, 🍞anon here!

First off, 🖤🖤🖤I love you big sis!!!🖤🖤🖤😭

Autumn Blood was absolutely amazing and I loved it so much 🖤❤️

And now! *Opens PowerPoint presentation on laptop* @ readers who don't read tags carefully:

Freya and so many authors here go OUT of their way to list tons of triggerwords and warnings for amazing works of fiction when there's mainstream, 18+ published works out there with little or NO trigger warnings at all. They spend their valuable time, skill and effort to make these works for us for FREE. Can we please let that sink in? All of this is a luxury and we are NOT entitled to any of it. So can people please do their research on WHAT THE TAGS MEAN, stop acting like rude babies and for the love of August, not bitch about it to the author, PLEASE?!! It clearly said dark and non-con. TF you think was gonna happen?! Peekaboo with the lights off?! YO.

Freya I promise you, the majority of your readers are responsible, mature adults. Like I find the daddy/little girl kink triggering and I AVOID those tags. Sometimes I try to read out of curiosity, and eventually get triggered (insert surprised pikachu meme here). That's where I just...leave. Yes it makes me uncomfortable, but it was my OWN DUMBASS FAULT. I do my research and avoid (and double-check meanings b/c English is not my first language). Google is free for f*cks sake. Also, it was written for people who LIKE THE KINK, NOT FOR ME. I go back to the masterlist and find something else to read.

Please don't let the Karens get to you big-sis. We love you and love your writing and you are incredibly kind and you let us read about topics that we can't find anywhere else, in such an open and supportive environment.

Please, please, please don't let this hinder you from writing dark!fiction. Please take a break and do what you must to destress, but don't let irresponsible people stop you from your creative flow.

Love you to bits, please get all the chocolate (or snacks you prefer) you need, stay warm and comfy, have a relaxing weekend and may your PMSing not be as painful! 🖤🖤🖤🖤

- 🍞anon (lil-sis)

Hey angel 🖤.

Thank you so much for the support. And you are absolutely right about published work. I don’t know how many people read “a song of ice and fire” - that very mainstream show Game of Thrones is based on it and it’s filled with triggering stuff and no one warns you about it when you open the book, if you want to avoid triggers when reading published work you might as well go and Google about the book first which means you are responsible to curating your experience.

I’m just really tired. I always write warnings for each of my stories, even the romantic ones and the fluffy ones. I don’t wish to trigger anyone, I’m human too and I have my triggers. It seems like some people here tend to think writers have no feelings whatsoever - which is ridiculous.

Where do you think we write from?...

As it goes to labelling warnings, I’m usually very respectful when people ask me to tag something and I do my research to see how to properly label kinks etc. I’ve been reading fanfiction since a younger age and ever since I can remember, non-con means what it means. And yeah English is not my first language too, I had to Google stuff to learn what they are. So if you don’t understand a term, just Google it or even ask me?

Now with all said and done. I wrote 100 fluffy smut romance stories and about 5 dark ones. And I think that for a while I will be sticking for romance and more fluffier content and won’t be writing non-con. Don’t worry, still gonna be dirty smut involve just not NC stories. I have a dark Sherlock story but it won’t be NC.

It takes a lot from me to write that because I’m going through an experience of reclaiming my trauma and posting these stories makes me anxious but the anxiety is something I have to deal with, but then getting hate or offensive asks just dims the experience for me. And yeah, I know the anon was wrong, does it matter? I still spent the day crying and regretting I posted a story I worked hard for.

Anyway, thank you so much my little loaf 🍞

[charlie-writes1]

Valentine

By: @charlie-writes1

Writing Masterlist

Fandom: My hero academia

Ship: KiriBaku

Warnings: Swearing, gay

Word count: 2,354

Posted: 27.4.21

a/n I got this idea from a comic I saw a long time ago (like a year or two), I don't know who created it and I only ever saw a few short panels. If someone knows the comic please please please tell me because I want to link it! As I said I only ever saw a few short panels so minus a very short scene that I tweaked to be my own the rest of the story is mine. (Characters belong to the respectful creator)

-Summary-

Today is the day! Kirishima was going to ask out his crush. That is... he was going to ask him out, but someone beat him to the punch and he didn't think he had any chances left.

"Yo! Baku wait up!" Kirishima yelled, running up behind his explosive friend.

"What do you want Shitty Hair?" Bakugo grumbled. He didn't even spare Kirishima a glance as the redhead swung an arm playfully around his shoulder, topical interaction for the two students.

"Well, I was wondering- uhh-" Kirishima stared as he fiddled with a small box in his pocket. He took a deep breath, about to speak again but was cut off.

"U-umm excuse m-me? B-Bakugo?" A timid voice came from behind the two. They turned to see one of the 1-C students. She had orange hair that had been shaved on one side of her head while the rest of it covered her left eye. She was shorter than the two boys so Bakugo was literally and figuratively looking down at her.

"Damn extra, what do you want?" Bakugo grumbled, not in the mood to have to talk with people he didn’t know or care about.

She looked at the ground and Kirishima noticed she was holding a nicely wrapped box with a small heart-shaped card on top. "I-I w-was wondering, w-well I mean I umm-"

"Just spit it out, I'm going to be late for class," Bakugo snapped.

"I would like you to accept my feelings and be my Valentine!" She bowed and held out the box for Bakugo. Kirishima stared at the small gift, it was similar to the one he was just about to give the blond moments ago before she cut him off.

"Tsk, and why would I do that? I don't even know you," Bakugo told her. “You’re just some extra.”

"B-but-" In reality, they had had a few classes together, sometimes their classes work together in different subjects, not often but it happens, especially when a teacher had to take the day off for hero work or a sick day.

"Besides, I'm trying to become a hero, I don't have time for stupid distractions like a girlfriend, though I guess you wouldn't know much about becoming a hero since you're in general studies.” Bakugo’s voice was cold as ice. Even Kirishima thought it was harsh, even for Bakugo.

"Bro, that's not nice..." Kirishima said quietly. He didn't know how to feel, Bakugo was rejecting her, therefore he still sort of had a chance, but the way he had said it... 'I don't have time for stupid distractions like a girlfriend' that probably went for boyfriends as well.

"Tsk whatever, come on Shitty Hair we're going to be late for class," Bakugo grumbled turning back around and walking towards their class. He didn’t even spare a glance back at the girl who just stood there staring at the ground, shoulders shaking ever so slightly as she tried to hold in her tears. Kirishima gave a sympathetic look to the girl who had just had her heartbroken, she looked like she was about to cry, and truthfully, Kirishima was right there with her, Bakugo had indirectly said he wouldn't date him.

"Yeah, I'm coming," Kirishima muttered, turning back around to follow Bakugo. He gripped the box in his pocket and shook his head trying to forget about it. There’s no point in giving it to him now, not now that he knew what the reaction would be.

Kirishima couldn't get his mind off the scene from that morning all class. "I don't have time for stupid distractions like a girlfriend." Was it a stupid distraction? Was dating someone really just a distraction when they were training to be heroes? Even if both had their minds set on the same goal?

"Kiri? You okay bro?" Kaminari asked as they stood in line for their lunch food. "You've been extremely spaced out all day, did something happen?" It wasn’t normal for Kirishima to not at least try and crack a few jokes, so when he had barely even spoken three sentences... his friend had gotten worried.

The redhead looked up to his friend, getting pulled out of his daze a little too quickly. "What? Yeah, I'm fine, why wouldn't I be?" Kirishima asked, flashing one of his signature smiles, but it didn't quite reach his eyes like it usually did, and the blond could tell. Kaminari gave him a look that seemed to say, 'yeah right, you're not okay.' "Okay fine, maybe I'm not completely okay," Kirishima admitted, looking down at the floor.

“So what’s bothering you?” He asked, tilting his head to the side a little.

"Can we talk about it after we get our food?" Kirishima asked, he didn't need anyone else listening in on their conversation. If someone heard... it didn't matter if UA was generally really good when it came to queer kids, Kirishima didn’t know what he would do if it got out that he had the biggest crush on the most explosive person in the school.

Kaminari smiled a little, "sure thing." They got their food and Kirishima led his friend out of the cafeteria to talk. He made sure that they were far enough away that no one would hear them before turning a corner and sitting against the wall. "So what's got you all down in the dumps? Girl troubles?" Kaminari asked jokingly.

Kirishima stared at him for a moment. "It's not girl troubles, Kaminari, I'm gay," he told him. Had he not told Kaminari, one of his closest friends, that he was gay?

Kaminari's face went red with embarrassment, "man I got to stop assuming this stuff, first Mina and now you, totally cool with it though don't get me wrong," Kaminari started to ramble. "Anyways what was it?"

Kirishima took out the box from his pocket. "I was going to confess today," he muttered, handing the small box over to his friend.

Kaminari took the box and turned it over a couple times in his hand. It was wrapped in shiny orange and black wrapping paper, though there was about half a roll of tape trying to hold it together. 'Be my Valentine?' had been written across the top in sharpie. You could tell he was trying to keep it neat, though it didn't work. "So what happened?"

——

Bakugo had noticed that Kirishima had been acting strangely after that morning, though he couldn't figure out why. It was almost like the redhead was avoiding him. No nagging for him to hang out with the self-proclaimed “Bakusquad” no arm being randomly thrown over his shoulder, no “Bakubro!” Being yelled, while he tried to do his work. It was too quiet.

When he noticed Kirishima and Kaminari leaving the cafeteria instead of sitting with their friends like usual, Bakugo got even more suspicious. He couldn’t remember a day that the two didn’t sit with the others, so he went to investigate.

He left enough space between them so the two in front wouldn't notice they were being followed. When they turned the corner and sat against the wall, Bakugo waited just on the other side to listen in.

No, Bakugo was not one to usually eavesdrop, but he wanted to know what was going on. Though he may not say it, Kirishima was his best friend, and maybe even more than that to the blond. He wanted to make sure Kirishima was okay.

"So, what's got you all down in the dumps? Girl troubles?" Kaminari's voice came.

Bakugo couldn't imagine Kirishima having girl troubles, it just didn't make sense to him. He didn’t know if it was because the redhead had never shown much interest in any girls or if it was because Bakugo thought Kirishima was nearly perfect in every way, having girl troubles just didn’t fit with his character.

There was a small silence, "It's not girl troubles, Kaminari, I'm gay."

Bakugo was shocked to say that least, though that would explain why he never showed any interest in girls like Kaminari or some of the other boys in their class had. He would not have pegged Kirishima as gay. But he couldn't help but feel happy about that.

Kaminari began rambling about something before asking again what was happening.

"I was rejected," Kirishima said. He sounded hurt, he sounded broken, he sounded like it was going to take years to build him back up again.

"By who?" Kaminari asked with a bit of worry in his voice.

"Well, it wasn't direct, but he made it clear that he didn't have time for a relationship," Kirishima muttered almost too quiet for Bakugo to hear.

"Who was it?" Kaminari asked again. His answer was too quiet for Bakugo. But whatever he said shocked Kaminari. "What? Him? He’s so... How?"

"Oh shut up," Kirishima said. Bakugo imagined him rolling his eyes. "He's not that bad," he continued. "I just, can't get his words out of my head.”

"What'd he say?"

"Just that he didn't have time for relationships, and that he had to focus on school."

The words began to click in Bakugo's head. If he wasn't trying to stay hidden right now he would be cursing at himself for being so stupid and saying something like that in front of Kirishima. He realized the way he turned down that girl made him think there was no chance when in reality Bakugo had turned her down because he liked Kirishima in a way he's never liked, anyone. This explosive Pomeranian was gay as well for his best friend.

He had to find a way to make it up to him somehow, make sure he knows that he still had a chance... but how?

"Well, he's a dick for saying that," Kaminari said. "Well, he's a dick in general-

"Kami," Kirishima cut him off, not very amused. "I'm not in the mood for that right now," He muttered.

"Right, sorry," Kaminari said.

Bakugo had heard enough and went back to the cafeteria. "I'm so fucking stupid," he muttered under his breath.

——

When school ended, Kirishima was going to head straight home. All his friends had plans so there was no point in going anywhere else, that is until he was yanked aside by the explosive blond he had been avoiding all day.

"Bakugo what are you-"

"Shut up and follow me Shitty Hair," Bakugo grumbled, pulling at Kirishima's arm for him to follow.

Kirishima stayed quiet and followed Bakugo around to the side of the school. He wasn't sure what to expect but what happened next was not it.

Bakugo stopped and turned to Kirishima. Staring at the ground he started talking. "I fucking messed up and I feel like fucking shit for saying what I said so I..." he trailed off. Shoving his hand in his pocket he pulled out a slightly wrinkled card. "JUST FUCKING READ THIS," Bakugo said shoving the card in Kirishima's hand.

Kirishima was shocked and looked down at the card. It had originally said "to Shitty Hair" in Bakugo's handwriting but then it was crossed out and replaced with "to Kirishima Eijiro."

He looked up at the blond confused. "Just fucking read it," Bakugo grumbled, a small blush crossing his cheeks as he continued staring at the ground, his hands finding their way back in his pockets.

Opening the card Kirishima read out loud. "'I don't have time for a stupid girlfriend, but maybe I can make time for a stupid shitty-haired boyfriend?' Bakugo what is th-" he was cut off by Bakugo grabbing his shirt caller and pulling him into a rough kiss.

Kirishima was too shocked to do anything. The note he was holding fell to the ground and he wasn't sure where to put his hands.

"Just shut up, I heard you talking with sparky, I'm sorry you thought I didn't want a relationship," Bakugo muttered when he pulled away. "I'm gonna sound fucking cheese and you're not allowed to tell anyone I said this, but you're the only person I can imagine being with."

Kirishima was shocked, taking a long moment to process what he was being told before a huge grin formed across his lips. He let out a small laugh before pulling Bakugo back into a kiss.

"You're the only person I can imagine being with too, Bakugo," Kirishima said pulling away slightly and resting his forehead on Bakugo's. "Even if you are loud and explosive," he laughed.

"So? Will you be my Valentine?" He sounded so cheese saying that, but honestly, at that moment, he couldn't care less.

"Of course, Bakugo Katsuki, of course," Kirishima said smiled. "Oh, I almost forgot, I have this for you," he said pulling back and taking a small box out of his pocket.

Bakugo took the box, looking up at Kirishima a little confused. The redhead motioned for Bakugo to open the box and unwrapped it before sliding the top off. The blond found a pack of cinnamon candy hearts, pokey and... "dog tags?" Bakugo asked pulling out the long chain that had two of what looked like military dog tags dangling from it.

Kirishima looked a little flustered. "I knew you weren't big on jewellery, but I thought you'd like these so I got them custom ordered," he explained. "One has your name and the other has mine. I-it's fine if you don't like it, I just wanted to get you something special."

Without a word, Bakugo slipped it on over his head and tucked it into his shirt. "Stop rambling. It's cool," Bakugo said, a light shade of pink on his cheeks as his eyes drifted to the side. Kirishima smiled. "I feel bad I didn't get you anything," Bakugo muttered.

"W-well it's not necessary, I just wanted to do something and-"

"I know," Bakugo said cutting Kirishima off. "You're free tonight, right?" He asked. Somehow Bakugo seemed a lot calmer and somehow softer as well. "I'll take you to dinner."

Kirishima's cheeks burned. "Y-you don't have to," Kirishima said. "R-really."

"I want to," Bakugo said. "Come on Kiri, I'll walk you home so you can get changed."

Bakugo started walking off and it took Kirishima a moment to register what just happened and follow. "R-right!" He said running a little to catch up.

He was happy it all worked out.

[sky-writes-tingz]

Hey gals, gays and pals. Today we're going a bit off-topic, as in I am not going to talk about my WIPs or anything writing-related. I just wanted to open up a bit about myself. Plus, it's been a while I havent posted.

How my anxiety manifest itself

Most people will experience anxiety through stuff like thoughts racing, being hyper self aware, etc. For some reasons, it's not my case. I'm not diagnosed with severe anxiety but I do know there is definitely something wrong with me. So, this is how I tend to get anxious;

1. I refuse to sleep at night. I tend to get very obsessed with my thoughts at night, and I have a hard time falling asleep, so being left alone to my mind is really not something I like. When I'm in anxious periods, I'll spend an unhealthy amount of time on my phone at night, even on school nights.

2. I get shaky and fidgety. When I get anxious, I often move my body as if I were in one of those old chairs every grandma has. I start to play with anything that's the closest to me, most of time pens and clothes' hem. I also crack my fingers more than usual.

3. I shutdown. I don't just stop talking, my brain somewhat stops functioning and I get on autopilot mode. I hardly react when people try to talk to me, even teachers. I hear them, I'm just unable to react nor respond. It's even visible in my body language, I think.

4. I avoid eye contact. I don't even like eye contact to begin with, but I'm forced to do it, so yeah. However when I'm anxious, I literally cannot look at anywhere else than my feet/thighs depending if I'm standing or sitting.

5. I forget things. If it's an anxious period that last more than a day, I will automatically forget things, what people tell me, what I do or eat, etc. I just can't help it.

6. Music makes me tear up/cry. This one is stupid and weird, but it's the case. Some songs make me uncontrollably emotional when I'm anxious.

Not everyone experience anxiety the same way. Please understand that.