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#very few people have actually read it right the first time they found my blog
thankskenpenders · 9 months
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Happy new year, everyone! Welcome to 2024, the year that will mark the 10th anniversary of Thanks Ken Penders. I'd like to go over my plans for the blog for this year.
First of all: in the very near future, I'll have a post with my thoughts on Sonic Dream Team, and I'm sure I'll write one last Sonic Prime review once the final episodes drop on the 11th. I've also been sitting on an unfinished piece about the Sonic LEGO sets. I wanted this to be longer and more detailed piece that not only reviewed the sets but also went into the weird disconnect between homogenized image of Sonic the Brand and the actual fiction it's based off of, but it'll probably end up getting cut down a lot just so I can put something out. Let's just say I did a fun little thing with one of the sets.
Second: yes, I would like to return to regular TKP updates this year. As I've said many times, I wanted to do this in 2023, but I've been suffering from creative burnout after finishing SLARPG and have generally been unable to focus on any of my creative goals this past year. I'm hoping that this year will be better and I'll be able to get back into the swing of covering Archie Sonic issues. Even doing one issue every week or so would be vastly preferable to continuing the hiatus. I'm still only halfway done!! But aside from burnout, my other main hurdle is that I need to reread my own archive to refresh myself on all these things after nearly three years away. This will take some time.
The thing is, though, this year I'll have an extra incentive to go back through my previous writing and brush up on all things Archie Sonic. Because you see...
I've decided that I want to make a video essay about Penders. The comics, the copyright battle, The Lara-Su Chronicles, everything.
The why
I've thought about doing this before, but I never committed to the idea. I was too busy with gamedev, or I thought it'd end up being too long, or I figured that there were already enough videos on the subject, or I just lacked confidence in my ability to put together a video essay. So I told myself it wasn't meant to be, and let the multiple YouTubers who have cited me as a source on their own Penders videos fill that void.
Recently, though, a few things have happened that have convinced me it might be time. For one, YouTube video essays/media retrospectives/etc. are just getting longer and longer. When Quinton Reviews is out here doing 21 hours of videos on Sam & Cat, a subpar Nick sitcom that only lasted one season, I don't feel so crazy for wanting to make a video about several hundred comic books and two lawsuits that'd be at least an hour or two long lmao. Admittedly, I've also been self-conscious about doing a long video essay like this as a trans woman who has yet to do any vocal training. But these days I feel like I see a lot more transfem YouTubers who have done little to no vocal training, and that's given me more confidence on that front.
But the big one was Hbomberguy's recent plagiarism video. As I sat there watching it, I kept thinking about the time I found a CBR article that was just a crude 800 word summary of my two previous articles on Penders, published by a CBR writer who's put out over 4000 articles since 2019. If I've already been plagiarized before, and my writing is so frequently passed around as a go-to source on Archie Sonic drama, then I wouldn't be shocked if there were YouTubers out there straight up just plagiarizing me. I don't watch other peoples' videos on Archie Sonic, so I'd never know! So if people are just gonna paraphrase me when covering these topics anyway, why not take matters into my own hands and make what I would consider to be the definitive video on the subject? If hacks like James Somerton and iilluminaughtii can churn out these shitty video essays and people will still watch them, surely it can't be that impossible to make my own, right? (And also, uh, Hbomb literally told me I should make the video lol. If you're reading this, thanks for the encouragement.)
The what, how, and when
So here's the plan.
Part of this video essay will be an adaptation of my Medium article on the recurring themes of Ken's Archie Sonic run, with its content touched up and expanded upon. There were a few things I skimmed over in the article because I didn't want it to get too long, but again, people are out here watching ten hour videos about bad Nickelodeon sitcoms now. I can get away with elaborating a little more. I can add a few paragraphs talking about the Chaos Knuckles arc, or throw in a little more historical context I've discovered in the years since.
After covering the comics, the back half(-ish?) of the video will be dedicated to the copyright battles and their ensuing controversies, trying to give an accurate picture of what actually went down, the sheer scale of how bad Archie fucked up, and what our takeaways should be. This will have some similarities to my New York Magazine article on the subject, but I'll be rewriting it from scratch. I REALLY had to keep things short for that article because I was already way over the expected word count, and my tone was a little more straight-laced than normal because I was trying to keep things Professional. I can riff more and insert more of my own opinions this time, like I normally would.
I'll inevitably have to touch on some of Ken's Bad Tweets when discussing things that have happened after the lawsuits, but I don't want the video to just devolve into a list of times people got mad at him on Twitter, so I'm gonna try to keep that to a minimum in favor of focusing on his actual work. Things like the Scourge the Speed Demon incident and his continued statements on certain characters' copyright statuses probably warrant mentioning, though. And finally, assuming that the book really does come out this summer, I would like the grand finale of the video to be about those first couple chapters of The Lara-Su Chronicles.
I don't currently know when this video will get done, but it'll probably be in the back half of the year, especially with me waiting for the book to either drop or get delayed yet again. But I've actually already started writing a bit of the script, and will keep chipping away at it for a while.
So, uh, yeah, look forward to that? Wish me luck?
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befemininenow · 5 months
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My coming out as a trans lesbian. (A message to my followers.)
Yes, everyone. I am "gay", or should I say, I'm a lesbian.
This may come as a shock to some of you since I would talk about "hot men" and even make captions about attracting hunks and whatnot. If you notice an absurd amount of those kind of captions surfacing this past week until now, that's because I was dealing with comphet, short for compulsive heterosexuality. In reality, I do not like men nor am I attracted to masculinity.
Why until now? One, it’s because I wanted to wait for the right time to come out and it was coincidentally on Lesbian Visibility Day. Two, it’s something I've been questioning ever since I found out I was trans. This didn’t happen in a day or two. It’s been years and I would have thought I was just pansexual. However, I was not sure whether I genuinely liked boys or if I just liked their validation. It turns out it's only the latter and I was questioning whether I was really gay or just gynosexual. I admit that getting positive reception from them turned me on and I could see the kindness and affection they displayed towards other women (something that really made me euphoric). But the moment you would place me next them for more, say, intimacy (I'm trying to keep it PG), I felt that spark turn off. Don't even get me started when they're bare or worse, send me D-picks (it's so nasty).
Now, I've never did any of that IRL. But, I've tried to interact with them through social sites. Not just in Tumblr, but in other sites like Grindr. If you ever think of creating a Grindr to meet, don't bother. It's hot garbage! All of them were chasers and not a single one was attractive. Only one "guy" seemed to be "cute"; it was a femboy, who was commencing their transition into a woman. Those were the only men I thought I was attracted to, but the reality is: I was only attracted to their femininity, but not their body or intimacy. Femboys are still men and I'm not attracted to men.
That got me questioning: Am I really only liking people for their femininity or do I genuinely only like girls? To make a long story short, I've never felt so much better than imagining myself being the lovely girl... of another girl! I always loved women as a guy, but now that I'm about to transition, being into women as a girl feels so right for me! No more comphet for me!
I know this is not the norm on these kind of blogs as the majority tend to be attracted to masculinity. However, I do want to say that even trans lesbians exist on the feminization scene. That leads me to tell all of you for the next update: You won't be seeing anymore new straight trans girl captions after the first few days of the next month. That's why you saw those kind of captions bombard my blog these past few days. It's just my way of saying "Let me just get it done with". I'm actually glad you enjoyed them, but I just don't feel any connection to those kind of captions anymore. I'll try to upload them when I can since I've been busier than usual.
Anyways, I'm happy you read this very long post. Even if you're not a lesbian, I hope this note at least gives you an insight on not keeping your true feelings locked any longer. Everyone deserves to be themselves. You should too.
Sincerely, Nikki.
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wanderingaldecaldo · 1 month
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An open letter to the Cyberpunk fandom in general, and a few people in particular
It’s time to clear the air, and I want to take responsibility where appropriate.
Before we get into the recent drama, a history lesson is in order, both for the newer people in fandom and for those who have been around and just haven’t heard things from my side. This might be long with all the linked posts, so buckle up.
I don’t talk much to people about my experiences in fandom for several reasons — first, I don’t like to talk about others with people I don’t know; gossiping with friends is one thing, but otherwise it’s an undesirable trait. Because I’m human and fallible and absolutely capable of failing to meet my own standards, I have violated that rule, and it rarely does anything good. Second, even when I do share, people don’t tend to believe me because the responsible party, PinkyDude (PKD), has been “so nice” to them. “Surely there was a misunderstanding” is the most common response. 
No, there’s been no misunderstanding. He has harassed me repeatedly, both directly and indirectly, and has deleted most of the posts he’s made or reblogged from his friends/mutuals/followers that would serve as proof of this harassment. I could dig up old screenshots that people sent or I saved myself after being told of a post’s existence, but honestly I don’t want to go through that dreck again; my mental health is worth more to me than that. Instead I’ll present in my own words what happened to me over the last three years. I have spoken publicly about him three times before now — four if you count my response to the anon, which never referenced him or his ship. All of those posts are still visible and will be linked. I told you this would be a long read, but you need the context.
I joined Tumblr in spring/early 2021, back when I only wrote fic and played on console. PKD blocked me the first time I posted my fic, as is his right. As I was new to Tumblr, I didn’t understand the Tumblr app was actually telling me I was blocked whenever I clicked on the links on Discord, so I thought it was just bad software. Spoiler: it’s still bad software (affectionate). When I found out I was blocked, I was upset; I didn’t know about RSD at the time. I sent one anon asking why he blocked people; I was just a lowly AO3 author and he was the big, popular modder, and I was baffled and very upset and should have closed the browser, to be honest. He answered and explained why he blocked people (totally valid!! I will continue to emphasize that!) and shared how blocked people could still view his blog in a number of ways. Honestly, it was too much work for me to go through all of those steps, so I moved on with my life.
Not long after, he did unblock me for a few weeks and posted how someone had shown him how to filter posts. He messaged me to tell me I was unblocked, and we exchanged a few courteous messages. I believe I asked if it would be okay if I followed him. I know he expressed concern about me feeling discomfort at his ship. I don’t remember my exact response but I said I thought they were cute. That was the whole point of me joining fandom — I want to share love for blorbos! Things were civil, as far as I knew, though based on his comments later, it seems he and I had two completely different experiences. Where I believed I was polite and tried to be respectful to someone who had established boundaries, he accused me of being spiteful and vengeful. Soon after I started taking my own VP (with Mitch) he blocked me again. He sent a message to apologize that he needed to do it, and made a vague post that was directed to me, I assume, as it was something like “Sorry I tried” or whatever, and I moved on with my life, or tried. I still saw his Mitch pics in Discord servers when people shared them, though I saw fewer that were just Mitch alone.
The first time I spoke about PKD was Fall 2021, during the “not PKD approved” debacle, where someone (a follower of his! Not my follower! I cannot stress that enough!) reblogged a gif of Val and Mitch with the tag “not PKD approved.” I shared a screenshot with friends because, uh, that’s what you do, right? That’s what anyone would do — share a screenshot of an offensive tag with friends. One of those friends, a writer who had published Mitch/V on AO3 and also received anon hate on their Mitch fics, thought it was funny and used it for their Discord status. Someone shared that status with PKD, and he made vague accusations about who started the hashtag. 
I publicly defended a person who thought they were being accused, a friend at the time, and made the only statement about him that I regret and would take back — I commented on his propensity for reblogging posts that emphasize having the right to block people. I shouldn’t have said that, it wasn’t appropriate, and I apologize. Of course everyone has the right to block people for whatever reason they want. I disagree with what I said then and retract it now. 
Back to how I was targeted... Remember that it was my post that someone tagged with another person’s name; another person who had me blocked because of their jealousy about seeing anyone else with Mitch. I never named the person who tagged my post, yet I was deemed the perpetrator. Many months later, Zwei DMed me when we shared a small server to offer the most non-apology apology ever for telling people that I started the hashtag. Thanks, Zwei! Almost makes up for the other lies you told about me!
The second time was my response to the anon I got trying to “educate” me after the Pawel stream. I never referenced PKD or his ship. We’ll come back to this more in-depth later because it’s what PKD keeps using to harass me.
The third time I spoke publicly about PKD was when Silvay (sp?) posted first on Twitter, then later Tumblr. I posted a follow up the next day. I debated not saying anything. I’m an avoidant person. I don’t like conflict. I have a loud bark and no bite. My former team members can attest to this. But when I do... I don’t make public statements I’m not willing to defend, which is why everything I have linked is still published.
I do recommend stopping to read the posts linked here, and even the other posts I reblogged at the time from other people who shared their own experiences with PKD and the fandom. As I said, I don’t make public statements I won’t defend; or at least apologize and issue a public retraction. But, if you want to stay with the present and would rather have the TL;DR: I was regularly vagued about by PKD or his friends/followers, calling me transphobic and homophobic; one accused me of corrective rape; and I got tired of it.
I thought that posting publicly might bring some closure. It was cathartic to finally get it out and stop carrying that shame, and it was reassuring to hear from people who had similar experiences. At the same time, quite a few people made their own posts along the lines of “HE WAS ALWAYS NICE TO ME”. 
Oh, but he’s always been nice to me!
Look me in the eyes. Look me in the eyes and tell me that you truly believe he would be nice to you if you shipped with Mitch. Do you really believe he would? Do you think he would “block and move on” with you, unlike how he did with me?
None of those people shipped with Mitch, or other characters that people in his clique were protective over. A few months later he made a post saying not to tag me with him, and listed off every screenname I had used since I joined fandom, including the very first tumblr name I was assigned in 2021 and kept for several months because I thought it was funny. How’s that for a dog whistle? Want PKD’s attention? Better not tag wash!! [I’m sure there’s a screenshot somewhere but again, I didn’t have the energy to find it.]
By the way, why do I know all this? If I’m blocked, I shouldn’t see anything he posts without circumventing “the system”. We are mutually blocked and I don’t spy on him, or have my friends spy on him. I always knew what was going on because people were always quick to let me know anytime he was vaguing about me. “Friends” who were really concerned about the latest thing he said about me, or thought it was just terrible how people were always attacking my ship and wanted to share that feeling with me, but they only shared those thoughts in private. Slowly I separated myself from people who felt the need to keep me updated on drama, or some of them separated themselves from me and became friends with PKD, to the point that either nothing happened for some time or I just stopped seeing it, at least until last fall.
The last time I talked about him publicly was when I wrote about Fem V Friday in Fall 2023. Through the usual chain of vague posting about vague posts, a third person wrote a vague post and cast aspersions on the origin of Fem V Friday, suggesting it was created out of jealousy. PKD helpfully weighed in about a person named “W”  starting FVF from jealousy and spite, and implied he’s seen things I’ve said about him. I’d love to know what I’ve said, the context in which it was said, and the context in which he was told about what I said. 🤷
My post in response didn’t reference the vague post that spurred its creation, nor what PKD said about me, even though PKD must know my intentions and history better than me. I wrote about my love for Fem V and what drove my continued involvement week to week.
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Despite my attempts to keep to my own corner or defend my name, PKD continues to defame and harass me. He has repeatedly dragged other people into his drama, sometimes my friends, just as he did in May when he brought up my anon response again. 
It was over two years ago now that I received the anon to “educate” me on Mitch being gay. I have never believed PKD sent the anon, despite his implications, and I have certainly never told anyone that he did.
Two years ago, a coward came into my inbox on anon and tried to bully me, and instead of spending a day writing five thousand words on “death of the author” and what constitutes canon and refuting the argument that I didn’t want to have, I used that energy to write about my ship in my favorite genre (smut) and published a fic on AO3. Neither my fic nor my response on tumblr referenced Mitch being gay or PKD’s ship. Before we go further, I encourage you to watch the relevant clip from the Pawel stream. It’s only 30 seconds of your time, but those 30 seconds are what PKD and others have used to justify their harassment of me.
The transcript for anyone not inclined to watch:
PKD: Am I right to overanalyze every detail in every place like the gay romance novel in Mitch's tent? Is that intentional? Pawel: My friend, on this stream, you could have learned already that everything is intentional...
The “gay romance novel in Mitch’s tent” is 1000 Beats Per Minute, a shard found all across Night City, nay, the continent as the shard/prop can be found in such locations as All Foods just after you meet Dum Dum, the foot of V’s bed in A10, and So Mi’s Brooklyn apartment. 
The contents of the shard are worth reading, if only for recognizing that the narrator is an ungendered person named “Alex” who is experiencing love for a man for the first time. Is Alex a man or a woman or neither? Whoever they are, Alex is having a queer experience, and to insist that the shard can only be about gay men is to erase a lot of other queer experiences.
Back to my anon response, PKD once again called my response transphobic and homophobic, though I will give him credit for saying he wasn’t calling me trans/homophobic, which is an upgrade from previous posts. He claims that I used the smut that I wrote as my response because I referenced writing “the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could”. I said “pussy eating” not in relation to anything about the claim that Mitch is gay, but as response to the intentions of the anon, which were never good.
The full context of my words: 
Not entirely sure what you were trying to accomplish with this message, anon. Should I pack up my words and keyboard and go home? See if it's too late to return my gaming PC because I can't take screenshots of Mitch anymore? Whatever your goal was, you pushed me to write the smuttiest pussy eating smut I could imagine. You know who wins today? - I do, because I wrote a shitload of words in one day and finished a piece that didn't even exist 8hrs ago - people who want more Fem V/Mitch content do - my meat husband does bc damn, I wrote 1800 words of smut today - not you
PKD is claiming that my description of smut I wrote about my ship is trans/homophobic.
The description of the smut I wrote about a cis bisexual female (Val) whose pussy was eaten by her cis bisexual male partner (Mitch). 
The smut I wrote about my ship, in which no one is trans or gay. 
You cannot apply the lens of PKD’s ship and characters to my writing and call it transphobic or homophobic. That’s not how literary analysis works. That’s not how social justice works.
The truth is that PKD and his mutuals/friends used his ship and beliefs to harass me. 
If that were me and it were my beliefs being used to harass someone on anon, I would demand whoever it was to stop immediately, not only because harassing people over fictional characters is awful and wrong, but good lord, to use me as the excuse? I would be mortified! Instead, PKD and his mutuals/followers used it as evidence of my being a bad person, and after several months of that, I borrowed Silvay’s courage when he posted on Twitter, and shared my own experience.
Now that we have the full background, let’s move on to recent drama and address the Flat Chest body and the wearable pecs mod, and what part I played in the process and when. This next part is for motherherbivore. I wish you had talked to me first. I thought I’d rate high enough for a DM. 
A Brief History of The Flat Chest Body Under Curation of Wash
I reached out to Na in March about helping update the Flat Chest body. I specifically wanted to update it to dynamic to take advantage of AXL’s dynamic clothing and, more importantly to me, reduce the number of clothing overrides I had to install for Hilary; plus I wanted to add toggle feet so I could have better options for shoes. Also I had another OC I’d been kicking around in my head, Grem, that I wanted to make using the flat chest. Grem did debut recently, but he changed drastically from my original vision for him.
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Sharing the news with Kitty (shared with permission)
I started working on updating the mod in April but got stuck because I didn’t understand resource patching, even though I was sure it would be easy. :hidethepain: I tried adding the feet too, but everything I did resulted in a seam at the calves. As is all too common with my ADHD, I moved onto something else after getting stuck.
As I mentioned I was interested in dynamic AXL, and wanted to update my custom tee framework for Pride. With dynamic AXL, someone could generate all colors with all logos at once! (220, do not try this at home!) I included the dynamic version of the Flat Chest mesh in the upload to Nexus, even though the Flat Chest body wasn’t ready yet, but as a goal for me to also have it done in June.
I had the UV version working in early June, before the Angel body came out. I don’t remember if we already knew about the body’s existence at that point, but the community outcry against yet another unrealistic and fetishistic body mod sustained me in updating a mod that appealed to a small subset of fandom.
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The message I sent to Na the morning I got it working
I got the UV version working first, since that’s what Hilary uses, then took a look at toggle feet again. After further investigation using both UV and VTK bodies, I realized there would always be a seam because the bodies were drastically different from the current body; they were completely different meshes underneath, and the seams would never line up properly. 
At that point I decided to release the functioning dynamic version without toggle feet, as I wanted to get it out for Pride. I reached out to mhb to test, as had always been my intention. For me Sanctuary is the most iconic OC to use the Flat Chest. After some technical difficulties I figured out that she used the vanilla version, and came back a few days later with a functioning vanilla version. I released my update once I had assembled the necessary files and pics from the testers, mhb included.
Later when PKD released the refits for his pecs, someone commented that the vanilla refits worked for the Flat Chest body. That’s been my only interest in his pecs mod — because people who use the Flat Chest were interested in having more clothing options. The release of the so-called “Flat Chest Detector” meant that Flat Chest body users wouldn’t be able to use the clothing refit for his wearable pecs, because it required using his pecs, which clipped with tattoos and cyberware — as is expected because it’s not a body mod, as he himself said on the mod page.
As the representative for the Flat Chest body, I agreed when streetkid-named-desire (Rat) asked me to be involved in the conversation with Berdagon about adapting their “Flat Chest” detector to recognize the Flat Chest body. Rat drove this conversation. I don’t say this to dump responsibility on them. In fact, I visited them last weekend and we talked through the situation. I suggested to Rat that I could have urged them to slow down, but they refused to let me take that responsibility, and at the end of the day they’re right — I can only control my own actions.
I do have one regret and one opportunity where I could have acted differently: when Rat asked Berdagon about the original script, Rat very explicitly asked whether the script was commissioned by PKD, and if so, Rat stated they were willing to pay to make changes; Berdagon never answered the question, and I wish I had pushed for an answer. Perhaps that could have prevented the entire situation; we could have stopped right then. While Berdagon never mentioned payment, Rat was so excited by how quickly they implemented the requested changes that they tipped them for the work.
Berdagon, the original script writer, owed PKD the responsibility to check in before modifying something that PKD paid for. Yes, Berdagon does have responsibility here as a professional who took money for a commission. When they didn’t answer the question, I could have stopped the process and pushed for an answer. I would have stopped things immediately upon hearing the answer that the script had been commissioned by PKD. PKD could still have been outraged at Rat asking for changes, but there wouldn’t have been fandom-wide drama about a body that only a dozen people use.
That’s the responsibility I will take — I, as a professional who works with consultants and freelancers, could have taken steps to ensure that everyone was acting professionally, including the person who received money twice to work on the same script.
Because I feel the need to be thorough in my explanation, here’s a simplified timeline of the release of the Flat Chest mod compared to the wearable pecs:
Late March - I receive files from Na for Flat Chest
April - I get stuck, stop working on it
April-May - I figure out dynamic AXL and convert tee framework
June 3 - I have a working dynamic UV Flat Chest
In response to outcry over the Angel body, PKD makes a poll asking what body types people want refits for and excludes Flat Chest body as an option
In response to people commenting over why Flat Chest wasn’t included, PKD explains he won’t support the body and that he would support a different Flat Chest body if someone made it
June 10 - I share the UV version for testing with several people. Two of those people, including mhb, use vanilla. I didn’t realize that, and because I didn’t name the file `UV` it took a long time to troubleshoot why things weren’t working
PKD releases the pecs
I share vanilla for testing
I post Flat Chest 2.0 before the end of June
I didn’t use you, mhb. I asked you to test because, like I said above and on Nexus, Sanctuary is the Flat Chest character for me. I asked you to test because I make mods for my friends first and foremost, and I thought you were my friend. I thought you were my friend because we’d known each other for several years now, and because of shared experiences and conversations we’ve had. I’ve been wrong before about who is a friend, and this one stings a lot.
I’m tired. I am 30 or 40 (or 50) years old and I do not need this. I have a career and a job I love, and an amazing partner who I’ve been with for a third of my life now. I have friends and hobbies in meatspace and friends who share those hobbies, and the real truth is, if I was actually trans/homophobic, well, that number would be tiny, but it’s not. I have a life that I love and that is full of joy. Most people in fandom only know the smallest fraction of the real wash, and I do not take pleasure in being targeted in a public fandom “feud”.
PKD, I say this with all the kindness I can muster for another human being who is clearly hurting: please get help. Go to therapy or see a psychiatrist or use whatever tools you can access. This obsession you have with me and my ship is not healthy for you, and your repeated pattern of bullying has hurt me and people close to me, just as your need to rehash old fandom drama hurts the community.
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I’ve been wanting to submit a theory about L’s strange & dissonant behaviour in regards to his acknowledgement (or rather non acknowledgement) of the whatevership with A. I feel I’ve gathered my thoughts at this point, and my theory hinges on an article that was mentioned in another blog. We keep saying that neither L nor his team has publicly acknowledged A. Except they have, at least once in the following article; 
https://www.mirror.co.uk/3am/celebrity-news/bridgerton-heartthrob-luke-newton-grows-32836781
Now, before you panic, take a breath & rest assured that this article changes little in terms of shipping Lukola. I promise. If you can suppress the initial wave of nausea that hits when seeing this article, I highly recommend you read it yourself. Because there’s some interesting stuff in this article when you read between the lines, especially since it’s the only article I’ve found about L&N that is actually an exclusive ( see title header at beginning of article)
For anyone who would rather not read it, here’s as concise a summary I can make using phrasing from the article. L has ‘struck up a friendship’ with A in January, they ‘enjoyed a romantic break in LA’ ( in April), she is ‘understood to have met his family’. They have a great time together but ‘they have not yet gone public as it is still early days’. The article then acknowledges the Instyle stunt & mentions that L has been promoting Bton with N.
So, why publish an article like this? It could have been either A) an official soft launch ahead of a hard launch, or B) a way to regain some control of the narrative around the L&A dating rumours that had begun circulating and leaking into the GA. I’m leaning towards option B. First, while the article acknowledges they are dating in some capacity, the only official label that has been put on L&A’s relationship is friendship. Not an official girlfriend, even in the early days. A friend. Second, I find it interesting that they chose to fudge the details about how long L&A have likely been seeing each other in some capacity. The fandom knows it wasn’t January that they ‘struck up their friendship’, it was likely sometime in summer 2023 & some kind of dating seems to have started in the fall. And what happened in January? The NYE kiss was leaked, and L&A began publicly following each other on IG since the cat was out of the bag. So his team will acknowledge only the details of their situationship that can no longer be denied at this point. 
Interesting… considering everything that came after, namely the heavy flirting between L&N on the WT, followed by papgate 1.0 & papgate 2.0. Because if L or his team had any intention of changing the official status of L&A’s situationship, the People articles following either Papgate would have been the time to do it. Except they didn’t. Those articles were not exclusives and both could only call A his ‘rumoured girlfriend’. Either the writer of the two People articles were lazy and didn’t follow up on the info, or they did follow up and essentially got told ‘No comment’.
This is why I believe there will be no hard launch. Some people have assumed that L wanted to keep the relationship private, but that’s disproved by the Mirror article. He acknowledged a friendship & some form of dating when rumours were becoming increasingly widespread. But no more. And when given the opportunity to actually hard launch her with the People articles, we got crickets. I’m willing to bet that with the feelings that seem to have reemerged full force between L&N during the WT, the silence is a sign that things are in fact unraveling behind the scenes.
I also just want to note the timing of the article.
May 17th
A few days after the NY Premiere and right as L and N are taking up in Brazil
The use of "friendship" seems very calculated here.
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moonywritez6 · 9 months
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Mark Me (Reupload)
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Character: Toji Fushiguro x Tattoo Artist Reader
Reader: Female Reader
Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, drug use, high sex, smut, violence, unprotected sex, blood, harsh language, pet names, Praise kink, Dacryphilia, Exhibitionism kink, Daddy kink, degradation, marking kink, Age gap (Reader is in 20s, Toji is 30), brat kink
Wc: 7,293
A/N: Hello my sweets! Unfortunately, I got locked out of my old blog account, so I had to make a new one! So, chances of you having seen this before are high as it's on my old account! (I am so sad about it honestly). But I am going through all my old accounts posts and reuploading them here! I hope you can still enjoy my works!
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Ding! 
The sound of the front door opening, indicating that a customer walked in, filled your ears, along with the quiet buzzing of the tattoo gun in your hand. "Oh! Welcome, do you have an appointment?" You hear your person at the front desk cheer, followed by muffled voices. Your eyes, which were once solely focused on the piece of art you had been skillfully engraving into the tender flesh of your current client, drift over to the small watch that rests on your wrist. "How's it looking baby?" Your client questions his eyes, looking back at you with a slight smirk, causing you to groan in disgust. This particular client of yours had been flirting with you since the day he walked into the shop, which at first didn't bother you as you were used to those occasional clients; however, this one was super persistent about it, always giving you a hard time with his tattoo design making you change things that he was once okay with into something else the next visit so that he could keep seeing you. 
"It looks fine, however, we're gonna have to cut this session short as it's almost closing time and I have one more client for the night." The man lets out a small grunt, not finding a problem with your words as it just meant he could see you again, much to your dismay. "You got it boss!" He laughed while tossing his shirt back on, following behind your smaller form as you walked towards the front of the store. "Ya know I always found all those piercings and tattoos of yours to be." The man started his usual flirting with you, always leading with the art that covered your body. This time, you tuned him out, your eyes traveling to the two figures seated in the waiting room area, one of them being very familiar. "Ichigo set this guy up with his next session for me, will ya?" You mumbled while snatching the last clipboard from the desk, your eyes scanning your next client's information. "Of course, boss right away!" Ichigo cheered brightly while quickly booking the man's next appointment. You didn't get many clients at your shop, at least not many rich ones, as you had built your place in a dangerous area where lots of criminals claimed to call their homes. 
It didn't bother you, of course, as you were already seen as a problem by many people due to your appearance, so you thought, why not make a profit when people will happily give you their money for the dumbest shit sometimes. "By the way, I see Mr. Playboy is back," Ichigo whispered into your ear, a playful smirk tugging on her lips as she went and pointed to what kind of tattoo the client wanted. You hummed, feeling your eye twitch as you read that same name. You found yourself tattooing on what seems to be hundreds of different women every few weeks. Toji. "This has to be his, what? Sixth girl this month?" Ichigo Scoffed before bidding your client goodbye as he shot you a slight wink, causing you to throw up in your mouth. "It's his seventh, actually." You sighed before pushing yourself off the counter as you called the two figures over. 
In front of you stood the familiar face of one Toji Fushiguro. Next to him was a girl not much older than you who desperately clung to the man's bicep, pressing her exposed cleavage against his bare muscle. "Okay, so who's getting the tattoo?" You questioned as if the answer wasn't as clear as day in your mind. You watch as the girl lazily raises her hand with a slight giggle as she makes goo-goo eyes up at Toji, who stares at you unimpressed with how long it had taken for you to see them. "That would be me~ I want it as a tramp stamp~" She sang, eying the tall male to see if he would give her the reaction she wanted. Toji grunts a lazy smirk, tugging at his lips as he tilts his head down at you, an all-knowing look in his eyes at what you must be thinking right now. "And this must be the lucky guy, huh?" You heard Ichigo laugh from behind the counter, earning her a slight glare from you. 
"Mhm! Isn't he so handsome?" She asked, squeezing him closer. You watch as Toji goes and wraps his arm around her waist, giving it a slight squeeze. "Think you can give her what she wants? Especially since you kept us for a bit?" Toji asked, giving you a smug look, knowing you hated doing these tattoos even more each time he brought in a new girl. "Follow me." You muttered, tossing the clipboard to the side. The two of them follow you towards the back, where you have all your equipment set up. "Let me just clean up really quick. My last client ran late, so it took a bit." The girl nodded in understanding; meanwhile, Toji just scoffed, scratching his head as he leaned on one leg. "You mean that scumbag was your client? Damn, how low have your standards become, Y/n?" He mocked while watching you sanitize your equipment and replace the ink. 
"Oh, shut it. He gives me money, so who am I to complain?" You muttered before glancing between Toji and the girl. "You should know what I mean after all." You added, causing the girl to frown, her eyes narrowing in annoyance. "Toji!" She cried, wanting the man to say something. Toji stayed silent, knowing your words were true as he did many things for many people, the girl next to him being one of his more frequent clients who paid him pretty well to go on dates and have sex. You just shrugged, taking Toji's silence as not wanting to get involved as you went and put your gloves on while carefully getting the stencil out. "Whatever, just lay down for me, cutie." You mumbled, a slight smirk forming on your lips at the girl's shocked expression, along with the tinge of pink that lightly coated her cheeks. 
Once she laid where you needed, you carefully took care of the area of skin she wanted the tattoo on as you set the stencil down. Toji hovered behind you, watching the placement, nodding in approval. "Looks good, baby~" He sang lazily, smirking, earning a giggle from the girl. You scoffed as you put your mask over your mouth and nose before turning the gun on. "Yeah, let's see how long it's gonna take." You muttered before getting to work. The sound of your tattoo gun and the girl's whines and cries fill the room as you carefully paint her lower back with the letters of Toji's name. 'Honestly, I'll never understand why so many girls get this.' You carefully wipe away some excess ink while glancing over at Toji, who stood leaning against one of your walls, eyes closed, probably thinking of other things he could be doing right now. 
'Especially when they know they're not the only girls in his life.' The girl suddenly jolts, causing you to pull away as you glance at her trembling form. You let out a small sigh, turning the gun off as you go and remove your gloves. The sudden disappearance of the buzzing causes Toji to open his eyes as he looks at you, a brow raised in curiosity. "Ya done already?" His tone sounded impressed with how your speed with these things has increased. You shake your head as you go and pull your mask down with a finger pointing to the girl who is lying on the table, still shaking. "I'm going to give her a break for about fifteen minutes, maybe twenty if she still needs time." You sighed before standing up to exit the room. 
"Ichigo, I'll be outside for a bit." You muttered to the girl, who responded with a pitched kay as you opened the front door to step outside. The nighttime breeze smacks you in the face, causing a relaxed moan to slip past your lips as you lean against your shop wall, reaching into your pocket to pull out a joint. You never smoked during your shifts or when you had clients; however, you had gotten so good at tattooing Toji's name on these girls that it didn't even matter if you were sober. You place the joint in your mouth before patting your pockets for your lighter. The bell to your shop rings, causing you to glance to see Toji standing in the doorway, lips curled up in a cocky smirk. 
"Oh? Is smoking while on the job allowed?" He teases, watching as you roll your eyes before returning to looking for your lighter. "Tch, I would be heading home right now smoking it anyways if it wasn't for you always bringing your girls to my damn shop last minute almost every fucking night." You growled, getting frustrated that you couldn't find the small device. Toji just scoffed, standing next to you as he leaned against the wall, pulling his lighter out and aiming it towards you. You hummed, nodding as you pressed the joint's tip to the flame, watching it light. "Thanks." You muttered, leaning against the wall. This wasn't the first time you and Toji had been in this position, as this happened with almost all the girls he brought over, one of them needing some break from the pain. Toji was the first to start conversing with you about who did your tattoos. He was impressed When you told him it was you or some friends of yours. Since then, the two of you found yourselves outside your shop, often talking about life and random things whenever you waited for the girls to feel better. 
You let out a puff of smoke, watching it disappear into the night sky. "How's she doing?" You asked, glancing at your watch to see how much time she still had for her break. "She'll be fine. Just give her the full twenty minutes." He muttered before going and plucking the joint from your lips, causing you to growl as you glared up at him. He just smirked, giving you a wink before hitting the joint himself. The two of you went back to saying nothing, a comfortable silence falling between the two of you as you passed the joint back and forth. You sneak a glance at Toji, taking in his well-built form, watching as the muscles in his neck slightly tense as he inhaled, how his bicep flexed every time he brought the joint to his lips. 
Yes, you found his muscular body attractive, and yes, you found Toji to be your idle type, but that wasn't what caused you to grow an interest in the man. What grabbed your heart were those piercing green eyes that held a mysterious dark hue over them as if hiding his true feelings. You don't know when you started feeling this attraction towards the man, but you knew that you would never give in or act on your lustful desires as you knew nothing would come of it. "Come on, don't take all of it, you jackass." You growled and jumped up to snatch the joint, which Toji had practically smoked all of. Toji chuckles as he leans his arm on your head, causing a vein to pop as your eye twitches in annoyance. "Oh, come on, Y/n baby~ You know I'll pay ya back." He cooed before snatching a strand of your hair between two of his calloused fingers. You ignored him, not minding that he was playing with your hair as you finished the joint before glancing at your watch. 
"Come on, lover boy." You tap Toji's chest with the palm of your hand as you walk by him to open your shop door. "Let's finish marking your latest victim." Toji just grinned at your words as he obediently followed behind you with a slight chuckle. "What? You want one too?" He joked, his eyes trailing down the back of your form, resting on your ass unbeknownst to you. You scoff, waving him off as you continue to make your way back to the girl. "As if! Keep dreaming, Toji!" You scoffed. 
Oh, he will.
__________
You stood outside your shop, a joint in your hand, as you quietly watched the night sky. It's been weeks since Toji has stopped by with another girl, making you wonder if he's finally found someone or if he's marked every single client he has. "Hey, baby~" A familiar voice calls, causing your eyes to drift over to the sound. To your dismay, it's that client you had finally finished giving the tattoo to who had been nonstop flirting with you. You internally cringe but keep your professional, laidback persona as you provide a superficial nod toward him with a half-assed smile on your lips. "Oh hey, it's you. What's up? Is there something wrong with the tattoo?" You asked, tilting your head at the man curiously. The man shakes his head with a cocky smirk as he leans his arm against the wall. His head rested in his palm as he looked down at you with a predatory gaze. 
"Oh, the tattoo is bitching, baby~ thanks again for such a good job on my body~" He cooed his body language, signaling that he was feeling pretty bold and wouldn't be taking any rejection today. You stared at him momentarily before letting out a small sigh as you carefully took the joint from your lips. 'What should I do? I sent Ichigo home cause we didn't have any more clients tonight, so no one is around to help me get out of this one.' You think a vein is popping on your temple. The man notices this and smirks, letting out a small whistle as he reaches his hand towards your face. "I noticed you've looked stressed and annoyed lately, baby~" You go to move away from his touch, which causes him to get annoyed as he suddenly grabs your chin, forcefully lifting your face to his. "Hey, now don't go being a bitch just cause you look like some trash whore always showing off so much skin. Be honest, you don't do it to show off those shit tattoos; you do it because you want men to see how easily fuckable you are." His voice was harsh, his ego probably not liking how you had tried to reject him. 
"Why don't you come home with me tonight and show me all those shit tattoos, baby~ I can paint them so pretty with my-!" The man's words abruptly cut off as you watched a fist collide with the side of his head, causing a giant dent in your shop's wall. "Toji!" A girl's voice cried out in horror. You slowly followed where the fist came from, your surprised eyes meeting Toji's enraged ones as he went and grabbed the man by the front of his shirt, lifting him off the ground. "Whose tattoos are you calling shit, big guy?" He growled, face inches from the man's now bloody one. "Or better yet…" You watched as Toji's jaw shook from how tight he was clenching, its veins popping out from his neck and face as he bared his teeth at the now-crying man. 
"Who the hell do you think you're touching and calling baby you motherfucker?" Your body shivered at how bloodthirsty Toji's tone was not expecting to see such a sight from the usually calm and laid-back man. "H-hey, man! I was trying to get laid! I didn't know the whore was yours!" That did it. Whatever self-control Toji had was instantly gone as he went and smashed the guy's face in blood, splattering all over himself and you in the crossfire. The girl Toji had come with, stood there horrified as she trembled, not knowing what to do. You quickly snapped out of shock as you grabbed Toji's arm. "Hey! Toji, that's enough! What's gotten into you?!" You yelled, trying to pull the bigger man away from the unconscious body. 
Toji's eyes shot at you, causing you to freeze as you felt your heart skip a beat at the feral look in his eyes as if he was a wild animal being torn away from his prey. When Toji realized it was you, he instantly calmed down, allowing you to feel the muscles in his arm relax as he went and dropped the guy to the ground. "Fuck." He hissed, running a hand through his messy hair as he looked from the guy to you to the girl he came with. "Give me that." He growled, snatching the joint you had forgotten all about. You watched him take a resounding hit off it before walking over to the girl. He appeared to be comforting her as he went and called her a cab. In the meantime, you dragged the unconscious guy into the alley next door, making sure he still had a pulse before heading back. When you got to the shop, you saw only Toji leaning up against the wall, a hand ruffling his hair as he let out a deep sigh, the joint hanging from his lips. 
"Toji." You called, getting the man's attention. You smiled as you carefully took the joint back, putting it between your lips. "I believe you still haven't paid me back for the last time I shared one with you." You joked, trying to ease the tense atmosphere. Toji looked down at you for a moment, a frown still on his face, before you saw the scar curl up as his facial features softened. "Is that any way to say thank you brat?" He scoffed. You hummed, scratching the back of your neck as you eyed the blood-stained sidewalk and the dent in your building. "Fix my wall and clean that blood. I'll call it even." Toji let out a gruff laugh, finding your response to the situation amusing. "So did you send her home?" You asked, addressing the fact the girl was no longer around. 
"Yeah, I apologized to her and said the next date was free." He sighed, annoyed that he had to waste his time for free on such an annoying girl. "How nice of you." You joked before stomping out the butt of the joint. Your eyes scanned Toji's hand, noticing the mix of his and the man's blood dripping onto the cold cement. With a sigh, you carefully take his hand, causing him to give you a confused look. "Come on, I'll clean you up." The two of you walk into the quiet shop as you go and sit Toji on one of the couches in the waiting room. He leans against the couch, spreading his legs as his arms rest on the back. "Where's your nosey assistant?" He muttered, taking note of the dramatic girl's absence. "I didn't have any more clients tonight, so I sent her home. Of course, I see you were planning on stopping by without even an appointment." You scolded while going through the first aid kit. 
"Hey, if it wasn't for me not making an appointment, who knows what that guy could've done to your dumbass." He scoffed before cursing as you went and pressed the rubbing alcohol against his cut knuckles without warning. "That's what you get. As for what happened, I could have handled it." Toji just scoffed, looking away from you with an annoyed look. Neither of you said anything as you silently treated his wounds before feeling yourself starting to get high. "Ah shit it's kicking in already." You muttered as you finished treating his hand. "They're all better. Next time don't waste your time getting hurt on a girl who does tattoos for your clients, and you occasionally smoke with." You scold, standing from the couch. Toji was still looking away, causing you to sigh as you went to put the first aid kit back. 
You looked in one of the mirrors to see blood on your face. You stare at it for a moment, the look in Toji's eyes filling your mind as you bite your lip, feeling your thighs rub against each other as the effects of the weed and the memory of the fight cause your body to start heating up. 'Fuck I should head home.' You mentally cursed as you walked out of the room. 
Toji sat on the couch, his blood still boiling as he remembered walking the familiar route to your small shop. Yeah, it was small and out of his way, but he always found himself at your shop for some reason. Maybe it was because there weren't many people that stopped by when he showed up, or perhaps he was starting to find your assistant Ichigo entertaining as she would sometimes trap him in the waiting room to talk about some random shit he never cared for. Or maybe he came to the shop so much because of-! Toji's thoughts stopped when he and the girl turned the corner, his eyes landing on your familiar form, trapped by an unfamiliar, much bigger one.
 "Hey now don't go being a bitch just cause you look like some trash whore always showing off so much skin. Be honest, you don't do it to show off those shit tattoos, you do it because you want men to see how easily fuckable you are."
Toji instantly felt his body seethe with rage as he listened to the guy's words, his gaze finally falling on how the man squeezed your pretty face between his disgusting hand. Before he knew it, his body was moving alone as he angrily stormed towards the two figures. 'Who the fuck does this fucker think he is touching what's mine.' He thinks, remembering all the times he would mess with your hair or brush up against your body, pretending that it had been an accident or that he wasn't paying much attention. Toji loved it when he would poke your cheeks, feeling the squishy skin against his rough finger and how your eye would twitch each time, finding it adorable. As Toji reached the two of you, he heard the man's following words ring through his ears like a siren. 
"Why don't you come home with me tonight and show me all those shit tattoos, baby~ I can paint them so pretty with my-!" All Toji could see was red as his fist collided with the man's face. He watched as the man slid to the ground, face bleeding from Toji's fist breaking the skin. Without hesitation, Toji picked the guy up, feeling so enraged that he could hear his heartbeat in his ears. "Who the hell do you think you're touching and calling baby you motherfucker?" The words left his lips, but in his mind, there were so many things he never got to say, especially when the man went and called you a whore. Toji didn't know how many times his fist collided with the guy's face; the only thing he could hear was the loud ringing in his ears as he clenched his teeth, eyes feeling like he was about to break every blood vessel they had. 
Toji thinks back to one of the times the two of you sat outside. He had asked you about all your tattoos, questioning who did them. When you answered that it was mostly work you did, he remembers being impressed at how well the artwork came out and how proud you looked when you recalled all the time and effort you put into each one. "It's something I love to do…and I want to keep adding more and more art to my body because it's something I really love!" You cheered with the brightest smile Toji had ever seen across your face, a happy blush tinting your skin as your eyes sparkled with pure joy. Toji remembers feeling his chest flutter at the sight. 'How fucking dare this scumbag say they're shit!' Toji's blood boils as he feels his chest tighten in anger. 
 'Don't fucking touch her! She's mine…Mine. Mine. Mine!' The thoughts ran wild in Toji's head. A sudden grip on his arm causes Toji to shoot his eyes to the side, ready to kill whoever got in his way. "Hey! Toji, that's enough! What's gotten into you?!" Until it was your face that slowly cleared the red that had drenched his vision. You stood there with your small arms wrapped around his giant one, eyes filled with worry. Toji felt his entire body relax as he took in your expression, noting the tiniest glint of tears that lined your eyes, which he always wanted to see crying under him. 'Who are you making that face for, Y/n? Are you worried about this fucking scumbag? Or that useless bitch crying in the back?' After that, Toji only thought of you, not processing anything else that happened. 
'Will you worry for me? Will you cry for me again? I only want you to think of me.' 
Toji sat on the couch staring at the ceiling as he felt himself getting high from the joint, his body relaxing, allowing a small moan to leave his lips as he continued to picture your worried, tearful expression, wanting to see it again as he started to imagine you under his body eyes leaking tears as you reached your arms up for him while crying his name like you did earlier to get him off the guy. "Fuck." Toji curses, feeling himself start to get hard as he crosses his legs when he hears your footsteps approaching. "I got some of that guy's blood on my face." You grumbled as you went to the front door, carefully turning the open sign off. 
Toji watched as you tried to wipe the scumbag's dried blood off your cheek. As you stood there, blood staining your skin, Toji couldn't help himself as he bit his lip, letting out a low growl before standing up. Unknowingly to you, you continued to try and get the blood off your cheek while staring at your reflection from the door. "Hey, Toji, I'm about to head home. Are you going to be!" Your words stop as you feel rough hands gently grab your hips, pulling them back as your ass feels something poke and slide against it. You stand there stiff as a giant blush slowly makes its way to your cheeks as you slowly look up at the door's reflection. Toji stands there, his eyes narrowed, a slight frown on his face as he goes and lightly grinds against your ass, his thumbs rubbing circles on your hips. "T-Toji?!" You cried, shocked and embarrassed, as anyone who walked by the shop would be able to see the inappropriate scene unfolding. "Let me see it." Toji mumbled, his voice an octave lower, causing a shiver to run through you as you nervously looked back at him. "C-come again?" You asked, watching as Toji scowled, his brows knitting as he went and grabbed your face, turning your cheek towards him. "Fuck that scumbag's pathetic blood did get on you." He growled, his fingers twitching. 
You whined, feeling your upper body press against the cold glass as you placed your palms against it for support. Toji's hand that still held your hip tightened as he released your face, causing you to look away embarrassed as you felt the familiar warmth between your legs quickly forming from the constant grinding. "Y/n look at me." Toji commanded as he licked his thumb, ensuring it was coated in his saliva. You do as told, slightly turning your cheek towards him. You cringe when he presses the wet digit against your heated flesh, making sure to rub all that scumbag blood away. "Y/n, from now on, I want you to keep this in mind." He growled before roughly shooting his hips forward, causing a small gasp to escape your lips as you felt your chest rub up and down against the cold glass. 
'Fuck, this is bad...I didn't wear a bra today.' You thought, feeling your nipples poke out from your top, thanks to the mix of friction and the cold. "No scumbag is allowed to touch you, got that?" Toji growled as he pressed his body against yours, his giant size trapping you against the door. You can only whimper, your eyes slowly clouding with lust as you look into the reflection. Your eyes locked with Toji's as he smirked, sliding his hands up your sides and under your shirt, causing you to let out a small cry. Toji stiffens when he notices the lack of a bra before a giant smirk crosses his face as he goes and bites at your ear. "No bra today, naughty girl~?" He purred his rough hands, groping your breasts as he skillfully took your perked buds between his rough fingers, pinching and pulling them as if they were some instrument, loving each noise he pulled from your precious lips. 
"Fuck baby, that's it…come on, keep making noises for me." Toji moans as he nuzzles into the crook of your neck, feeling his erection getting more prominent as his mind becomes slightly clouded from the weed. "T-Toji, stop…what if someone comes by?" You whined in protest as you tried to push off from the glass door. Your actions cause you to grind into Toji, earning a rough grunt as he sinks his teeth into your neck. "A-ah Tojiiiii~" You whined body shivering as his teeth lightly pierce your sensitive flesh, a bit of drool escaping the corner of your mouth as you relish in the slight pain. Toji hums at this as he lightly sucks on the spot pulling away with a small pop as he grins his fingers roughly pulling at your nipples, causing your eyes to widen as you arch your back. “Is my Babygirl a fucking masochist? Do you like it when I pull on your nipples~?" Toji coos while leaving sloppy kisses up and down your neck, making sure he leaves as many marks as possible. "Sooooo sensitive, haha~" He mocked, feeling your body tremble in his grip. "I-It's cause of the weed…. MMH!" You slap a hand to your mouth as Toji goes and slides his hand down to your crotch, roughly cupping it from your shorts. 
"T-Toji, please, someone will see…ah… i-i'll be ruined." You cried between moans. Toji growled, not liking that you thought of others when he was groping your body. "Tch." He clicked his tongue as he pinched your nipples as punishment, causing your knees to buckle. Thankfully, Toji had quick reflexes as he went and wrapped an arm around your midsection, making sure to hold your weak body up, his muscles flexing. "Who the fuck cares? Do you think you can think of others while I'm right here? What if I want them to see you like this, huh?" Suddenly, you feel your shorts get pulled down, exposing your wet panties to anyone who was to walk by. Toji glanced at you in the reflection, watching as tears of embarrassment filled your eyes, causing his chest to fill with pleasure as he loved seeing you so vulnerable. 
"What do you think that scumbag will return and see you like this baby? All wet and messy for the guy who beat him unconscious?" Toji's words cause you to moan as you recall the look in his eyes from the fight again, causing your eyes to roll into the back of your head. "Yeah? Does thinking about that get you turned on, baby? It's turning me on too. You can feel it. Right." He growls as he grinds into you faster while sliding his hand up your neck to tilt your head back. "Fuck Y/n, you look so fucking hot like this…" You whine, your mouth opening as you look up at him with lustful eyes, drool falling from your chin. Toji growls as his grip on your neck tightens before smashing his lips against yours in a heated, messy kiss. You whine, going and grabbing a fist full of his hair as he shoves his tongue around your wet cavern, wanting to taste every inch of your flavor. He moans into the kiss, pulling away with a few strings of saliva still connecting the two of you as he looks at you with dark eyes. 
"Open your mouth." He commands. "I wanna see you stick out that pretty tongue." You feel his fingers dance around your neck as you obediently do as you're told, making sure the wet muscle stretches out as far as possible. "That's a good fucking girl." Toji groans as he spits into your mouth, his dick twitching as he watches the glob slide down your tongue and into your mouth. "Swallow it, princess…let me see you swallow daddy's spit like a good slut." He groaned, watching you close your mouth, his hand feeling your throat expand as you swallow. "Fuck…Come on." He growled, pulling away from you roughly, picking you up as he tossed you over his shoulder. You let out a surprised squeal as you gripped the back of his shirt, causing him to chuckle as he went and smacked your ass. 
"God, you're so fucking sexy baby." He purred as he walked back to your station, carefully placing you on the chair. "You know how often I've wanted to fuck your dirty ass in this chair?" He growled, pressing his fingers against your soaked panties, causing you to moan as you tilt your head. "W-why my chair?" You sighed, finding that Toji fantasized about you sexy as you tried to rub your thighs together. Toji scowls at this as he roughly spreads your legs apart, pressing his fingers deeper against your wet panties, causing you to gasp. "Don't close your legs, princess…you better keep them spread for Daddy or else." He warns as he goes and sits himself between your legs. You watch through lidded eyes as he lifts one of your legs, pressing kisses up and down your inner thigh, leaving the occasional bite mark, shivering each time you cringe and squirm in his grasp. 
"Now be a good girl for me, Y/n." He whispers as he slides your panties off his breath, stopping as he watches a string of your slick connecting your needy hole and the useless piece of fabric. "Fucking hell, brat." He growled before ripping the material off as he wasted no time in consuming your sweet juices, a deep growl escaping his throat as his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Toji mentally curses to himself as he swears, you're one of the best things he's ever tasted, wanting to eat you out for hours as he slides his thumb down over your clit, the rough pad aggressively assaulting the bundle of nerves. You let out multiple moans and curses as you arch your back, your hands gripping the armrests of the chair as Toji eats you like a starved animal. "Tojiiiiii~ mmh So fucking good~" You cry out as you weakly grab a fist full of his hair. Toji grunts his tongue, sliding up and down your folds before he plunges the slick-covered muscle into your hole. 
"Fuckfuckfuck!" You cry, your legs tensing as you push Toji's face deeper into your dripping pussy; you feel your orgasm rush through you, sending waves of pleasure throughout your entire body. Toji growls as he makes sure to lap it all up, his tongue greedily sucking it into his mouth as he gulps your sweet juices down, pulling away from your needy hole, his face dripping with your cum. "Did my baby girl cum just from my tongue~?" He purred, his fingers sliding up and down your slick folds. You watched with hooded eyes as Toji watched some of your juices drip to the ground, some landing on the chair, causing him to grunt. "Come on, baby again…you can cum for daddy again, right?" He growled, leaning over your body as he pressed rough kisses along your neck, one of his fingers sliding into your needy hole. 
"Mmmmmm!" You moan loudly, your walls clenching around the rough digit as he presses it against the squishy flesh. "That's right, baby if you can cum for me, Daddy will reward you." He chuckles, watching your pleasured expression. "So, fucking pretty." He mumbled before sucking one of your breasts into his mouth, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud as he lightly bites and pulls, causing tears to roll down your cheeks. "T-Toji don't! H-hurts! EEEEEK!" You cried, feeling the man pull harder as he looked up at you with narrowed eyes. "That's not what I want you to call me princess." He growled before leaving a few apologetic licks to the irritated bud. You whine, looking away, too embarrassed to look him in the eye, when you feel another finger being inserted into you, causing your hips to buck up. "Fuuuuuuuck~" You moaned, earning a satisfied hum from Toji, who decided to mercilessly pump his fingers in and out of your puffy pussy, licking his lips as he stared down at you with a cocky grin. 
"Come on baby say it! Say my name and I'll make you cum~" Toji went and licked your bottom lip, gently biting the tender flesh as you whined, eyes rolling back again. “D-daddy…ah…I wanna cum please." You cried while shielding your eyes from his gaze. This didn't sit well with Toji as he went and pulled his fingers out, causing you to whimper at the loss as you felt your walls clench around nothing. You let out a loud gasp followed by a pathetic cry as Toji slapped your pussy, eyes narrowed. "Y/n, you're being such a brat." He growled, pinning your arms above your head with a tight grip. You winced, letting out more whimpers as you looked at him with a pout. "Stop being a brat and I'll reward you now instead of later~" He whispered, licking the lobe of your ear, causing you to shiver as you felt yourself needing more. 
You bite your lip, eyes wide, watching Toji free his erection from his pants. You felt yourself starting to drool as you watched his sensitive tip pulse as precum oozed. Toji smirked, his ego growing as he watched you go dumb at the sight of his cock. "That's right, baby~ If you beg me for it, I'll fill your needy pussy as much as you want~" You watched as he slid the tip up and down your folds teasingly, causing you to whine as you tried to free your wrists from his grip. "Toji!" You cry, not liking how he was teasing you so much. "Uh uh…." He tuts as he smacks your pussy twice with his rough hand, causing you to arch your back, tears falling. He chuckles, leaning to lick the tears up while nibbling on your jaw. "Come on, princess…say it. Beg me." He growls while pumping his twitching cock. 
You bite your lip as you look up at him. "P-Please fuck me D-daddy." You beg with the most pathetic look Toji has ever seen. Before anything else can happen, Toji roughly thrusts into you, causing you to arch your back as you toss your head back from the intense feeling. "That's my good girl! Fuck you're such a good girl for me Y/n! Your pussy is so tight it makes me want to ruin you." He growls as his hips press against you. "Fuck! Daddy too deep! Too deep daddy!" You cry Toji just grins as he continues to pound into your abused hole, loving how fucked out your expression is. "Fuck baby, you look so dumb on Daddy's cock." He releases your hands as he tosses your legs over his shoulders, guiding your hands to his biceps. "You wanted to know why I always wanted to fuck you in this chair, right?" He growled as he pressed his forehead against yours, scanning your every expression with those eyes of his that you loved so much. 
"It's because every time one of those fucking scumbags comes in here to get a tattoo while their filthy eyes scan your hot body…fuck… they're going to be sitting in this chair embedded with all your slutty juices from being fucked by your best customer." He laughs at the thought while relishing as he watches your eyes go back into your skull as your walls clamp down around him. "Fuck baby, are you gonna cum for me?" He growls, grabbing your wrist and bringing it to his face, kissing each tattoo that graced your skin. "So, fucking beautiful. You look so fucking sexy with these tattoos, baby. That fucking scumbag didn't know what he was saying." He moaned out, his thrusts becoming sloppy. You moan, your nails digging into the flesh of Toji's biceps. 
"Daddy~ am I really that pretty~?" You whine, wanting to hear his praise again. Toji smirks as he presses his lips to yours in a passionate kiss while cupping your cheeks in his hands, his thumbs rubbing your tear-stained cheeks. "The prettiest baby. You're so fucking sexy crying under me, covered in your art. Fuck baby, let me mark you~ I want everyone to see you, mine." He growls as he feels himself reaching his limit, gritting his teeth. You moan as you feel your orgasm quickly approaching. "Mmmh~ I won't be labeled like one of your whores." You admit causing Toji to scoff as he bites at your lip, his lustful green eyes locking with yours as he presses a deep kiss to your lips letting out a deep moan. "You're nothing like them, baby; ~ You're only mine~ I'll make you a new mark, yeah? Would you like that princess?" He leaves messy kisses across your face while gritting his teeth. "Daddy will give you a mark that only you can have~" He moans before giving you one last harsh thrust, his cum spraying all over your walls as he roughly bites into your shoulder to muffle his noises. 
The two of you stay still for a moment, both recovering from your highs as Toji caresses your body, his hands admiring each tattoo he knows you worked hard on. "Yeah…I know what I'm going to do." He cooed, slowly pulling out from you and kissing your cheek as you whined from the sudden loss, causing you to feel empty. Toji hummed as he watched his cum spill from your messy hole, pride filling him as he reached for your tattoo gun, carefully turning it on as he gave you a sadistic smirk. 
"Be a good girl for Daddy one more time tonight, baby~" 
_______
Ding! 
Your eyes slowly travel to the front door, where you see Toji standing with a new girl by his side. Ichigo giggles as she watches you lead them to the back and start tattooing the usual name onto whatever body part she's chosen. As you sit there carefully tattooing the girl, Toji stands behind you, his eyes landing on the tattoo, still healing on your shoulder. The detailed bite mark slightly starts to peel from the healing skin, causing Toji's eyes to narrow as he walks closer to you. "How's it looking Toji~?" The girl questioned with a giggle. Your body stiffens as Toji gently cups your shoulder, running his thumb across the healing tattoo. His eyes fill with lust as he licks his lips, noticing the deep blush on your cheeks. 
"Oh yeah… it's looking perfect baby~"
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theresthesnitch · 3 months
Text
It's about community, y'all.
I’ve found myself recently in a fandom interaction that has left me feeling very uncomfortable, and I want to talk about it. 
I will not be sharing usernames or fic names, so please do not publicly mention who they are if you figure out who this is. 
About a month ago, I was messaged by an account that doesn’t follow me, asking me to read their friend’s fic. The initial message was very flattering–their friend was a big fan of my work, and it would be so nice for them to get a comment from me on it. Honestly, it was such a sweet message, and I said I was busy right then, but I’d make time to read it.
When I opened the fic, it was a username that I didn’t recognize. Which is not terribly surprising, but I do recognize and notice regular commenters and people who regularly interact with me on Tumblr. (Which, by the way, is a good thing. These people all have a special place in my heart, and I love seeing their interactions.) This person also had no other fics published to AO3, and no bookmarks on their account. 
 I am an email hoarder, which means that every comment, kudo, and tumblr follow I get an email notification for is still stored in my email. I searched my inbox for the writer’s username, and nothing came up. I don’t mean nothing significant, I mean not one single comment, kudos, or follow from the account. I searched the account who messaged me, and got the same result. No one single comment, kudo, or follow. 
The thing that may not be immediately obvious from the outside is that many writers connect with each other as well. We share fic recs, snippets, and plot bunnies. We also talk about comments that we love, fans that we enjoy seeing in our notes, and significant interactions. 
Which is to say that the first thing I did was drop this fic with an explanation of what happened into the “fic recs” channel of our discord. Immediately, I find out that this is not a unique situation. Many of the writers in that discord were also approached, either by the actual writer or a friend, and asked to read it. 
I messaged the account again and asked if their friend was operating under a new username because I didn’t recognize them. Which is valid and I know people change their usernames sometimes. The friend responded that they did, but that the friend wouldn’t like them sharing it. I looked into the tumblr that messaged me then, and the account had been set up one singular day before they messaged me, with nothing more than a few art reblogs on their blog. 
At this point, I’m getting a really weird feeling from this, and I decide to just not respond anymore. I’m not going to call them out, but I’m also not going to engage. 
Yesterday, the “friend’s” account sent me another message, asking if I’d read it and telling me again that they can give their friend’s old account name if I really want it. They also mention that their friend read through and commented on a bunch of my older fics–which they did. Between May 24 and June 1, they left 17 comments on some of the very first fics I ever wrote and published. However, the way she tells me this feels very much like a quid pro quo - I commented, now where’s yours? 
I jumped back into the discords of some of my mutuals, and asked about this again. It turns out that all of us have gotten a weird vibe from them, and that this all feels like such a manipulative, creepy way to ask for exposure on your fic. 
And, because I’m me and needed more information, I went back to their fic and looked through the comments and bookmarks. 
There’s an ongoing discussion in many writer’s circles about interactions being lower, particularly comments, which you’ve probably seen crop up around Tumblr as well. While I don’t want to rehash this discussion here, the basic consensus is that most established writers are seeing fewer comments than ever, even when there’s a significant number of kudos. 
This fic has a not insignificant number of kudos, but a surprisingly large amount of comments and bookmarks, comparatively. Enough that just seeing the stats shocked me. I looked through the comments and saw lots of well known fandom writers, as well as some otherwise blank accounts. It strikes me as very odd–especially from a new, blank account and for a one shot without chapters to build up an audience. 
I jumped back in the discord and asked my mutuals about this again. Several people described really weird interactions with this individual. I heard stories about this person being really flattering when they initially reached out, vaguely complimenting the writer, then completely ghosting after the writer comments on their fics. 
I’ve debated for a bit about whether to post on this or not. The entire interaction has left such a bad taste in my mouth. I’ve no doubt that the writer and their friend are the same person, and I suspect some of their comments are fabricated as well. It’s elaborate, to a weird degree, and I feel so uncomfortable by it. 
The thing is, I love talking to people who have read my work. I love getting sent a fic rec. I read so little at this point just due to life and limited time that basically everything I read is something a mutual wrote or something recommended to me. I also really love the “it would mean so much to me if you read this” message, but only if it’s genuine. I have read first fics of new writers who sent me their own work, with their name attached, and asked me to. 
Fandom writing is a community, and that works best when we have a little give and take. But when you’re out there manipulating interactions, building up fake flattery to only not follow through, that breaks down our community. It’s unfortunate, manipulative, and honestly, a bit creepy. 
I don’t know if they just thought we (the writing community) wouldn’t notice, but we did. I’ve talked to other writers about this, and if any of my mutuals had a similar experience, I’d love to hear about it. 
To my “friend” who wrote this fic, I know you’re proud of your fic, but you’re not doing yourself any favors with this behavior. I will not be reading it. I also will not be responding to you or “your friend” any further. I wish you luck, and I hope you find what you’re looking for. 
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diamondcitydarlin · 1 month
Text
I don't think I'm going to say anything here that hasn't been said better a million times by other fans, but I feel as someone who has been a fan and supporter of his for an upwards of 20+ years now (so like, most of my fucking life) I need to. As a victim of SA myself, I need to. As someone who frequently sang his praises, reblogged his snarky commentary, spoke with him a few times, never thought a bad thing about him before now, and otherwise lauded him a 'safe person' (without good reason, I now realize) I need to. Staying silent indefinitely just doesn't feel acceptable.
(Under the read more is stuff that might be triggering, but is largely personal)
I took my time because for a long while after this broke I had to deal with my own feelings of grief. I know for some that sounds weird, but learning that someone you thought was a good person is in fact not a good person and was very likely just always putting that 'good person' mask on for show, finally seeing the truth of them does feel like a death- the death of the person you thought they were, the death of a person you came to like and respect that never existed in the first place. There was a divorce of identities I had to make there in my mind. I think that's the denial phase, right? Except I never wanted to deny the victims' stories, as much as I didn't want to believe any of it was true.
Of course, what else is true is that I never really knew him. Most of us didn't (even some who were actual close friends with him apparently). We accepted the personality he presented to us as a genuine person who laid all his cards on the table, assuming that this meant there couldn't be darker sides to him that he was carefully hiding so as to ensnare more victims. It seemed unthinkable. Until it wasn't. Until it was exposed to those of us who didn't already know about the underground whisper campaign of his predatory behavior and so much of what he did and said in the past years now seem unavoidably creepy. But they didn't back then. How could they? (Here's one- He has a 'bathtime' tag on his blog that he apparently used to get fans to take pictures of themselves reading his books while taking baths. Most of the 'bathtime' fan pictures he reblogged were of young women in close to NSFW/spicy bath positions with his books. This was around 2012 and it's blowing my mind that I didn't see the creepiness of that then)
This is about the time in my thoughts that I've started pivoting towards my own personal responsibility in the situation, as I have before when I've found myself in an unfair or victim position. Not to overly blame or be critical of myself for not knowing things I genuinely had no idea about until they became public, not to blame myself for being lied to as millions of fans were by a bad person, and definitely not to blame others for what happened, but rather to regain some kind of control in the future over a situation that feels very much out of my control (and ofc it is, on the whole).
While famous people being 'cancelled'/revealed as monsters using their platform to reel in victims is nothing new, I still allowed myself to be charmed and carried away by the persona Gaiman put forth publicly, allowed myself to think that THIS time it'd be different, not all famous men, etc, to the point that despite this being a clear pattern of behavior for a number of people in positions of power/wealth, I still allowed myself to believe and wholeheartedly accept that it could never be him.
Well, as far as I'm concerned, that's done with. While I will still have famous creators/actors/artists etc that I will go on 'liking', I have to remember from here on out that I don't REALLY know them, no matter how genuine or down to earth or open they seem, I do not know them or what they might be capable of (or have already done) and I cannot let myself fall into a feeling of personal trust with someone I don't fucking know just because I like their work and because they might SEEM like a decent person. It was never my conscious intention to put Neil or anyone else on a pedestal or think of them as gods or something, but even in assuming that everything he did and said publicly was genuine, I ended up putting him there anyway and it blinded me to who he really was, the signs of which were there from the fucking start, now looking back. I can't again let my unwillingness to face red flags keep me from fucking seeing them.
And, unfortunately, from now on I am going to be hyper-suspicious of famous people that ingratiate themselves into fandom spaces as though they're part of the group. As fun as it was to believe a creator could coexist alongside us without nefarious intentions, that was clearly just a fantasy. I'm not saying it would always be that way, or that anyone who interacts with their fans is a positive way is trying to prey on them, but the level to which Neil interacted with his fans and the fandoms therein should be regarded with a bit more suspicion in the future, I feel. We have to ask ourselves why a creator would be SO immersed, what are they hoping to gain, particularly if most of their fans are young and impressionable? Sure, their intentions could be pure, but there are a lot of predatory reasons for a much-loved creator with huge swaths of fans to try to ingratiate himself in their spaces and that's worth considering in future when someone is trying to be Mr. Popularity- I'm not naive enough, especially not now, to think that it won't happen again with someone else.
Anyway, this is all, the last thing I'm going to (try) to say about him and my feelings on this issue, because as a fan that wasn't directly preyed on by him but is feeling a sense of grief for personal reasons, my voice isn't nearly as important as those of people who were direct victims of his predation. Those are the ones we should be listening to and amplifying, especially as it seems likely even more women will come forward in their future.
I'm furious and disgusted and so so sad for all the women that were made to suffer from his manipulation. I'm sorry no one was willing to listen to them until now.
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katy-l-wood · 1 year
Note
Delete your Threads account. You know what Meta as a company has done, you know the kind of person Mark Zuckerberg is. You've lived through Gamergate, the elections, covid, the fucking lot of it, and yet you're still willingly making an account on Threads. How can you possibly justify that?
Second ask: Scratch that, I hadn't read your most recent posts. Sorry for being so rude.
Third ask: "Still going to keep an eye on it" For what exactly? For it not to be as bad as it is? For it to get even worse before you decide it is wrong? You know who Mark Zuckerberg is. You know what Facebook is. Be up front: you don't actually care or stand for anything, you're only afraid of losing business. Have some dignity.
So you decided to be rude as fuck, "apologize," and then come back and be more rude?
I was incredibly clear in that post of why I am going to keep an eye on Threads, despite the concerns: Twitter was a valuable source of live news, especially during natural disasters, and Threads is the first potentially viable replacement for that. IDK if you actually follow me, but if you do you'll know I do a lot of work around natural disaster communication. Twitter was invaluable as a communication source during natural disasters. Full stop. It is not up for debate. But hey, if you want a source with more authority than a random tumblr blog, here, have a nice shiny research paper:
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Mind you, that was written in 2010 and the importance of Twitter as a communications tool during natural disasters has only increased since then. There is no other tool out there, no other website--news or otherwise, that can provide such granular, specific updates when shit hits the fan as Twitter did. The only better, quicker source of information I have found during natural disasters is listening to actual radio chatter from the departments involved in whatever problem, and that can be very tricky to do if you don't know where to look or have the right equipment. There is no other site where I can go specifically follow so many of my local fire departments, my local emergency services, my local National Weather System stations, and get live pushed updates from them every single time they post.
When Twitter DDOSed itself last week and put a limit on the amount of tweets people could view and forced people to be logged in to view anything at all, the effect was immediate and BAD. People suddenly couldn't view things like missing person alerts, or weather alerts. I had people messaging me because they were trying to check the National Weather System autoalerts for their area on Twitter due to being caught in a sudden storm, but they couldn't get on to check.
Love it or hate it, Twitter had an immense amount of value and it got that value--at least in the case of natural disaster communication--because the stubborn ass government decided it was big enough to be trusted with official lines of information. Very, very few other social media sites have ever had that trust from the government. Look at how they banned TikTok on all government devices. But they DO trust Facebook, and Instagram, and Meta. Which means their chances of trusting Threads and migrating over there when Twitter finally takes its last breath are ASTRONOMICALLY higher than expecting them to go anywhere else.
We can debate the privacy and moral issues of the Metaverse and those involved until the cows come home, but it does not change the fact that if my mountain is on fire I'm gonna get information about where that fire is from wherever the fuck I can. I'm not going to wait around for it to maybe show up in a "live" updates news article from CNN from some reporter half a continent away in New York who doesn't know anything about where I live and gets the roads wrong because they just don't know. I'm going to go to the website full of my neighbors and local firefighters and see what's happening right that second.
Do we need to fix the privacy and moral issues? Yes. But we can't throw the baby out with the bathwater either. Not using Threads or any other Meta product isn't the answer here. Using them with extreme caution and only for very specific needs, for the time being, is. Long term, we need to be focusing on privacy based legislation that would finally put these companies in their place. But until then, again, I'm going to keep following my local fire departments wherever they go.
P.S.: If you're going to keep the shitty attitude, fuck right off and unfollow+block. You're not wanted here.
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hiraethwrote · 20 days
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── thank you so much for 1k followers ⋆˚࿔
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so i hit 1k followers... wth
gonna start of by giving a massive thank you to everyone!! i greatly appreciate every interaction — every like, comment, reblog and follower — and most importantly, the friends i feel like i've made along the way. it means a lot that you've found something you enjoy in my writing and blog
this is going to get a little sappy so you've been warned
it might be a little cringe that i take 1k followers this serious, but it is a little milestone i take a lot of pride in
(if you wanna skip my sentimental part and just read about my writing plans going forward, that's fine, lol, it's titled "the road ahead" further down)
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i had a particularly rough winter — working a lot, making the tough decision of dropping out of university with one year left, going through the worst frienship breakup i have ever experienced, not eating or sleeping well — overall struggling mentally
during all of this, i picked up jjk and was finally blessed with a new hyper fixation. i now had more time on my hands seeing as i was no longer a student. i've always had a passion for writing, so i decided why not
so i made this account just for shits and giggles mostly, not expecting much. but the reception of my works has been beyond anything i could imagine — i am so extremely grateful
it has even helped give me that last little push to pursue writing as a possible future. as a huge reader, i've wanted to be an author ever since i was young, but always been too scared to commit to it, scared i'm not good enough
but seeing how people actually enjoy what i write has given me the motivation to apply for a one year course in creative writing next year. it's rather exclusive, only accepting 12 students each year, but i am going to apply at least lol
that is all thanks to you guys so thank you so so so so much ᡣ𐭩
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2024 looked out to be one of the worst years of my life, but it has greatly turned for the better. this might actually be one of my best years in a long time, and a big part of that is actually due to this blog (meaning you guys)
so, yeah, okay, it's just 1k followers at it's core. but to me, it is also a sign of me actually putting time and effort into improving myself, my life and my mental health. therefore you guys are really important to me
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the road ahead
now, i have quite a few ideas floating around in my head atm. i'm trying to challenge myself in writing more drabbles, bc i seriously struggle with writing shorter pieces, so expect more of that in the future
i may or may not have a series, that has been rotting in my drafts since early june. as of right now, i only have a rough outline for the story and a rough draft of the first chapter. i might feel motivated to continue this
and, as you might know, i am starting to get a little obsessed with haikyuu... i already have a few ideas. but i have to get further into the series before i feel comfortable writing for it
then, lastly, i am tempted to do a 1k follower event (if you guys are interested. lmk). i really wanna do something to celebrate this achievement. however, i am terrible with deadlines and writing schedules so it would have to be very flexible lol. it might take forever until i get around to doing it hehe. but know, that if you are interested, i do have an idea in the back of my mind
(all that being said, i am working more this fall due to the fact that i start the downpayment on my student loans in october, yikes)
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so, one last time, thank you from the bottom of my heart
know that i dearly appreciate all that you guys have done for me, and that you've had a serious impact on my life — more than you know
i am very excited to contiue writing and seeing what i do next
much love, hea ᡣ𐭩
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monstersinthecosmos · 6 months
Note
I'm so glad you're back!! I was so panicked when I saw your blog was gone, because you are truly one of the absolute stars of VC fandom!!
I joined VCblr a few months ago because I have been obsessed with Marius since I was 13, like my Marius obsession literally changed my life in multiple ways and I saw VC was becoming popular again so I wanted to join in! but like one of my first posts got these comments from people I'd never even spoken to before about how I was disrespecting Marius and his fans, and to be a little dramatic the way some of these comments were written, I felt like some of them seemed to actually really hate me personally. It just killed my desire to write fic or meta anymore so I just deleted my tumblr and now I just have an empty one so I can lurk on people. Like I have really limited time and energy for fandom, and I don't want to spend it writing stuff that people just hate seeing and making them feel bad, and then feeling bad myself for liking the stuff I like.
Anyway, I found your blog a little while ago and I am OBSESSED with your creativity and your perspective on like everything, so I'm sorry to be a weird rambling anon but basically I'm just trying to say your blog has made a difference to how I feel about my own freaky way of loving Marius and I just love your openness and acceptance and your ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS A++ MARIUS TAKES and you genuinely have improved my VC experience 100% and I'm glad you haven't been erased from existence.
ugh see this is what I mean dude!! I'm so sorry to hear you had that experience!!!!!! Please talk to me off anon any time, I'd love to see your posts if you wanna come back and share again!
I BRING THIS UP NOW AND THEN so I'm sorry if I'm like a rambling old man telling the same story 400 times, but, now and then I think it bears repeating. But like, when I was 13, a boy at my school bashed my head open on a locker (I had to go to the hospital and get my head stapled shut) and he punched me in the face so hard that I have permanent ligament damage in my jaw. And it was because I was like, a baby bat and I was into numetal and Wicca and I was like the only kid in my small town school who didn't go to church. The day it happened I was wearing a Korn shirt!!! And I had blue hair! And I'd been like very intensely bullied my whole time in middle school, and the adults in my life NEVER protected me. This was RIGHT after Columbine and people were still buying into the propaganda that the killers were bullied goth kids and not fucking neo-nazis, so like, the entire time I was getting violently harassed, every day!, no one protected ME because they thought I would turn out to be the violent one. And yet, I was being put on hit lists. I had a gun pointed at me. A boy one time stole my Wicca book out of my backpack and read it to the class to make fun of me, but *I'm* the one who got in trouble for it because they thought I wanted to cast spells & curses on my classmates. The boy who assaulted me was a KNOWN problem in our school, and I wasn't even the first girl he hurt! MEANWHILE I still got a week of detention for having my head bashed open because they said I started the fight. ((This is up for debate: Yes I actually did throw the first punch LMFAO but he HAD been teasing me incessantly for like ever so like come the fuck on. I deserved that one.))
idk why I was just born like, without any shame or something, I guess it's innate, the rebel streak, I can't explain, but none of this really hurt my feelings? Every time people would make fun of me I was thinking "Yeah but I love Korn and they're so COOL and if you're making fun of me that means you're NOT cool and I don't really value anything you have to say????" And that really sustained me through all of this.
So yatta yatta terfs & conservatives poisoned the fandom well on Tumblr and I always think that it's not so different -- being picked on because you like something weird & offputting or whatever, and being treated like a threat or a danger when you're the one who's vulnerable to harassment and violence. In the digital space on Tumblr it's going to be about like kinky stuff and villainfucking and IRL it was because I was the only goth at my school and I liked horror films. It's the same shit, being harassed because of the fiction you like and the media you consume. And on Tumblr it's people being absolute fucking dickheads and IRL it was me being put in the hospital because a guy put his fucking hands on me, he was that upset that I was into cool shit.
And just. Yknow. It does suck when you want fandom to be a chillout space and you get your feelings hurt. It fucking SUCKS when people show up here specifically to be unkind to others, like I can't think of a less productive use of time. But part of me always thinks "I didn't get my head stapled shut for some grassless little fucking weasel on tunglr dot com to shame me over vampire porn" lmao.
(As an aside if you ever want to look into other examples of people being IRL fucked over over STUFF THEY LIKE, google the West Memphis Three ((innocent metalheads who did 20 years on death row because people thought the weird metal boys MUST be murderers)) or the FBI trying to file Juggalos as a GANG which means anyone who had an ICP phase and got a Hatchetman tattoo as an 18 year old is now in jeopardy of losing their fucking children for affiliating with a gang, okay. And this isn't even to scratch the surface of the way people treat hip hop and way it's mired in racism. Censorship and thought policing are always going to come down to Christofascism and white supremacy, but I digress.)
So blah blah all that to say, I'm not going anywhere and it pisses me the fuck off that people can't keep this bullshit to their private group chats. I have NO idea what anyone gains by acting like this in public.
Like, yeah yeah, fandom is silly, whatever, but hobbies are legit! And we deserve a space to unwind that isn't ruined by capitalism and bigotry and just, some little space to land. ESPECIALLY when, let's be real!, it's very very very common for fandom folks to be neurodivergent. I mean why else would we be so obsessed and blorbo-sick lol. So like, it just feels extra fucking shitty of people to be rude to fans like that, to make you feel shame for the thing that excites you.
Fandoms SELF GENERATE. Someone has to be here posting shit and we have to interact with it and create community. And genuinely if all you can contribute is your horseshit attitude, you can go fuck yourself!!! And I can't begin to tell you how much it breaks my heart when I see this infighting in one fandom, because like, being a Marius fan - BELIEVE ME - when I tell you I've done my time as persona non grata, the antis have fucking come for me LMFAO, I'm on the blocklists, I've been accused of absolutely heinous bullshit for liking a stupid fake vampire character. Like, listen!
I've had my head bashed open on a locker for liking numetal! You're not going to chase me off Tumblr!!!!!!
Anyway this got away from me, idk what I'm trying to say, I'm saying that I'm so sorry you had a bad experience and I hope you come back some time! And I encourage everyone to block & curate your space as needed to make for a happy escape zone. EVEN BLOCKING ME, I KNOW I GET ON PEOPLES NERVES SOMETIMES. And my content isn't for everyone! It's fine! Stay safe please, and I love you, and I have your fucking back dude!!!
AND EVERYONE ELSE JUST, HOLY SHIT BE NICE TO PEOPLE. IT COSTS $0 TO BE FUCKING NICE TO PEOPLE. IF YOU'RE NOT BEING CREATIVE YOU'RE BEING DESTRUCTIVE!
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nerdishpursuits · 7 months
Note
Can you elaborate on your tags about reading jk Rowlings original post?
Just that I admit that at first, when the JKR discourse started back in the day, I didn’t actually go and read the essay she published on her blog, which is the one that started the entire thing. I did go and read it, eventually, because I tend to like forming my own opinions on things. Personally, I didn’t see any evidence of transphobia. Same with her tweets. Sure, she’s a sarcastic troll some days because she’s, probably, tired of this topic. She was arguing there is such a thing as biological sex and people transition from one to the other in order to embrace living authentically. And that kids should be kids as they have no way to consent. They need to be left alone, or helped to make informed decisions they’ll not regret later in life. Perfectly fine and I’m very much supportive of that.
Everyone should love and live as they please, and no one has the right to ostracize them for it. What she called problematic was the complete denial that biological sex exists, hormone blockers in kids who can’t really consent, self IDing as a woman without actually transitioning and some trans activists saying a biological woman’s experience doesn’t matter. I don’t see that as being transphobic. Just logic and concern.
Over the past few days my partner and I went on a deep dive on this topic and found there’s plenty trans people agreeing with JKR. We’ve seen videos of trans women competing in women’s sports and winning, then commenting they don’t care at all about the medals and winning, but simply enjoy having a good time with their friends at the gym. Why compete in the women’s weight lifting category if you don’t care about winning then? Aussie surfer Bethany Hamilton was dropped by her lifelong sponsor in favor of a trans woman who previously competed, and won, in the men’s division. Swimming, wrestling, roller skating even etc. There’s trans women out there claiming they’re the ones who know what a woman is because they’re forced to think about it, whereas a biological woman is simply born and therefore, inferior. Others who claim they experience period cramps or that their genitalia is superior to a biological woman’s etc. As far as I’ve seen. JKR and other trans people have spoken out against these kind of situations, comments and claims. That’s why I think that cancel culture is so toxic. We need to look at the whole picture and stop claiming things are black or white or the damaging adage of if you’re not with me you’re against me.
I think a very loud minority, who doesn’t represent the entirety of the trans community, might actually be doing more harm than good. Not just to the trans community, who deserves nothing but acceptance and support and love, but the rest of the LGBTQ+ community as well. Pushing a narrative too fast, and forcefully, isn’t helping. It’s actually turning people against us and it’s frustrating and depressing. Denying actual biology and elbowing your way into biological women’s spaces won’t win you their love. Calling them birthing people won’t win them over. Calling them lesser won’t open doors either.
There’s a ton of material to be found on YouTube, there’s podcasts, articles etc. Personally, I think people need to sit down and talk and debate and be diplomatic. I’m not saying JKR isn’t without her faults but I do think she’s been demonized for speaking her mind and voicing her concerns about women’s spaces and kids. It’s as if people can’t have a healthy debate anymore. We need to cancel those who don’t agree with us. It’s the all or nothing mob mentality and, personally, I’m sick of it. This is a nuanced topic and should be treated as such. But now you can’t even be a centrist anymore. You have to be for or against and nothing in between. How about we look at what’s right or wrong, for both sides, and decide accordingly. Why this inane ideological war that radicalizes people who should be having a productive conversation instead.
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fuyuu-chan · 5 months
Note
hellu! how are u? i adore the entirety of ur blog, its very cute! : D
i was wondering if you could write vyn with a reader who lets their emotions overtake them? like theyre very sensitive! then they meet a calm vyn that affects them to be more at peace w/ themselves.
thank u sm! i hope ure doing well!! 🤍
Love Who You Are
Fuyuu-chan: Hi Hi. I'm good, how about you?? Thank you for requesting!! Love your idea, also idk if i did this right 🥹 but i hope you like it <3
Pairing: Vyn Richter x Reader
✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧
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You were just here to browse for a new book to read when someone approached you out of nowhere.
"Excuse me...are you perhaps interested in that book?" Someone asked.
You looked from the book you were holding to the person who probably asked the question to you.
"Are you talking to me?" You asked as you let your eyes scanned your surroundings only to found you and this guy.
"Yes I am" he nod and smiled slightly. You looked back at the guy again.
"Oh well...to answer your question..yes, I took an interest on this book, why do you ask?" You asked.
"Oh its nothing...its because its my first time seeing someone took an interest on that book...not many people like those types of book" he explained.
You frown slightly which made the man taken aback. "Oh...are you telling me...never mind" you said as you avert your gaze for a few seconds before turning back to the man. 'Is he telling me I had bad taste in books?' you thought. Seeming to notice your silence the guys asked. "Did...I say something wrong?"
"...umm do you meant that in a bad way or like??" You asked.
The man took a second only to realize what he said earlier. He probably had offended you accidentally considering your also a book lover. "Oh no I'm sorry...I meant it in a good way...that book was actually nice to read while relaxing, I was just surprised to see someone also interested, since whenever I came here no one really looked at that book." He explained. Usually people take his compliment but you...thought it was an insult? Sure maybe bevause of his wordings and all but... People still usually assume its a compliment or sometimes they just dont ask about it.
"Oh...I see" you nod in acknowledgement. "I..never got your name by the way?"
"Ah how could I forget to introduce myself... My name is Vyn Richter, what about yours?"
"(Name), nice to meet you Vyn" you said.
~~~
Ever since that encounter you two usually met coincidentally there at that book shop and sometimes at the café across from that book store.
Of course with those encounters you two exchange a word or two that extends to conversations that extends for quite some time. So at the end of the day you two got to know each other.
Your time with Vyn only grows and he got to know you. He got to realize about your sensitivity for words at your first meeting.  So he make sure that he watch his words much more carefully so he won't accidentally offend you like last time. He also realized your sensitivity for loud noises.
That happened when he invited you to catch up after not meeting each other after a busy week. Vyn invited you to catch up in the usual café you two always meet up.
As usual you also met up at the same time as always. But you noticed, lots of people starts to pack up the café. Like every once in a while you would hear the bell meaning some new people just entered. Then you realized then. "Is it holiday today?" You asked Vyn as you put down your drink.
"I think so..." He said as he looked down and took his phone that is on the table. He opened his calendar and looked to see if it is holiday or something.
He looked up after confirming. "It is holiday" he said as he smiled. "Oh...this café must be really famous" you said as you drink again.
Vyn nods. "Even if it weekday it doesn't have much people but I didn't expect to see this many now that its holiday." He said as he looked around.
"Mhm" you hummed trying to calm yourself down since its starting to get loud by people's chattering.
Vyn who looked back noticed how quiet and how you look uncomfortable. Not to mention the urge for you to cover your ears. (He could see by your body language) After gathering his thoughts he asked. "Hmm its getting a bit hot here too, do you want to go somewhere peaceful and have some fresh air (name)?"
You who was looking down the entire time to calm yourself looked up at the mention of leaving the once peaceful café. You immediately nod and so Vyn stands up as he extends his hand to you.
You took his hand out as you two left the café and goes to a park where its just you two. You sat down at the vacant swing as he too sat down next to yours.
He glanced at you checking if you starts to calm down. "Are you alright?" He asked. You looked at him and smiled softly. "Yeah thanks for offering to leave"
He shook his head. "No problem. Though I'm sorry for not noticing immediately that you dont like noisy places"
"No no I should be the one saying sorry....we were having a good time but had to stop because of..me" you looked down as you said that. "My fault too for not bringing my earphones"
"You should not blame yourself (name), besides I was also about to offer to leave the café because it was getting hot there and so we could also watch the sunset here" Vyn said as he smiled to reassure you and sure enough you smiled back.
"Thank you..." You said as you looked at the view in front of you. "You're welcome, you should tell me next time if you got uncomfortable too" he said as he also looked in front.
~~~
After that day, he made sure to bring extra earphones just in case it became too loud for your liking. And considering your comfort Vyn started to invite you to his home to just relax while listening to his collection of classical musics, have tea, read, bake or anything else because at least there its just you two and peaceful for you.
It doesn't mean that you two won't hangout anymore to other places, you two would still do that. He would let you choose the places you like to go to and when its his turn to pick he would search/research about some places where its quiet, where there is no much people. 
You notice how caring Vyn is, how he watch his words (even though you two became comfortable with each other and even though he made a mistake or two you completely understand since you know he mean no harm). Vyn also doesn't judge you like how people would normally do instead he helped you.
He also doesn't push you to get over the things your sensitive at instead he told you its alright to just be you, since he would be there no matter what. There always at your side but if you want to actually do it he would tell you to do it at a slow pace or a pace were you are comfortable.
Vyn is literally there that helped you through it all and most importantly he helped you to be at peace with yourself. Because of how calm Vyn is, you got affected that you also starts to be calm too (with his help of course).
When in the past you hated who you are and your sensitivity. Vyn...vyn loved who you were and guided you. In the end he is also the reason you start to accept yourself, love yourself, and starts to be a new person.
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Please do not copy, translate, repost to any other social media, Thank you
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devskindawritingblog · 9 months
Note
I remembered to send the ask to your writing blog this time!
Okay, here’s my idea for Shauna: she and reader aren’t dating yet, just best friends (sorry Jackie) and reader doesn’t know what to get her for Christmas. Then Shauna accidentally leaves her journal at their house, and they read it to try to get an idea for her gift. But instead they find all her entries about how she’s in love with reader. Shauna finds out and gets really mad, but she’s actually just embarrassed and scared that she ruined their friendship. But then reader kisses her and tells her they love her too. Turns out the perfect Christmas gift for Shauna was a girlfriend
Christmas Confessions
Shauna shipman x reader
AN: My last Yellowjackets Christmas fic! And of course my lovely tumblr wife requested it😘. I made the reader and Shauna besties and didn’t want to try and include Jackie somehow so I just don’t mention her. Shauna’s text is in green. And I put like the journal flashback things are in italics And the word count is I think the biggest at almost 1.8k. Also now that my Christmas things are done I’ll totally take requests. I’ll take requests about anyone that I have written for so far.
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You and Shauna have been best friends since kindergarten. You have always been inseparable. Always having sleepovers together even joining the soccer team in grade 9. Everyone at school knows about you too and how much you care for one another.
One time in grade 2 a few of the boys were making fun of you and pushed you and that was the first time Shauna punched someone for you. That was when you first realized how much you would do for each other. Sure, Shauna got in trouble but it was grade 2 so she didn’t catch that much slack.
After that point no one messed with either of you. People were scared of Shauna and they were scared of what Shauna would do if they hurt you. And it was like that even in highschool.
————————————————————————
December 12, 1996
You and Shauna are both in your senior year now. She came over for her weekly sleepover. The two of you were hanging out like you normally do. Watching a movie, listening to music, and sometimes just laying there together.
That was the thing you loved about Shauna; the silences were never awkward. You could lay there and talk or just sit. Sometimes Shauna would write in her journal while you did homework.
 You start to think she loves that journal more than you. She always had it around. You learned early that she is very private about it. So you don’t ask to read it anymore. She’s your best friends but she can keep her thoughts and feelings private if she truly wants to.
Shauna had already left after having dinner with your family. Her mom had been in a rush to go somewhere. You go back into your room and that’s when you notice Shauna's journal sitting right on your bed. She must have forgotten it because she was rushing. 
You move it off your bed and place it on your nightstand. You will give it to her at school on Monday you think to yourself as you lay down on your bed. An hour passes every so often you glance over at the journal. 
You realize you still need ideas for what to get Shauna for Christmas. You look over at the journal and grab it. You get a good idea. You might as well take a little look to find possible gift ideas. It couldn't possibly hurt, right?
The cover has her name printed neatly with a pen. For a second you hesitate hoping nothing too personal is in her journal. It will only be for a few minutes you say to yourself. That reassures you and you flip open the first page.
————————————————————————
June 28 1996. You knew Shauna got a new journal at the end of grade 11, because you two found it at the mall together. You picked it up and showed it to her.
“Look Shaunie, it's green. Don’t you need a new one?” You said to her. Shauna ended up buying it. What you didn't notice back then was how Shauna looked at you that day or any day really.
The entry is pretty normal. It talks about your guys mall trip. And how you guys got ice cream. You smile to yourself as you remember how much fun you had with her. It talks about how you got ice cream all over your face and Shauna had to get a napkin and wipe it off.You finally notice how she talks about you. Sure you're close and give each other compliments but this feels different. You shrug it off and keep searching.
The next few entries are all in the summer. Mostly talking about the family vacation she went on .You flip to another entry.
————————————————————————
August 5 1996. You and Shauna were at her house. It explains what you guys did that day. Shauna had gotten a new lip gloss for her birthday and you both were trying it out. Shauna put it on first, rubbing her lips together. She writes about how you put it on as well. You remember how much you liked the lipgloss. The lovely pink shine looked great on your lips. And Shauna definitely thought so too. In fact she goes into great detail about how much she did like it.
You pause a confused look on your face. The sudden realization hits you hard. How did you not notice? You keep reading trying to confirm if you're not going crazy. You blush as you read the last sentence. 
“I wanted to kiss them so badly.” Shauna writes with a few pink hearts around your name. You suddenly feel really guilty but also relieved. You have known you like Shauna for a while. But you have been too scared to confess. How could you ruin your relationship with her like that?
You have so many conflicting feelings. You're happy she likes you back, but nervous as to how she would respond about you snooping around in her private journal.
At this point you can't stop reading them. Each one is a different day. Each entry delves into just how big of a crush Shauna truly has. 
————————————————————————
September 25 1996.
This one was around your first few weeks of grade 12. You and Shauna were in the same English Lit class. You went over to study with her. It was a fun night. but clearly Shauna saw it differently. She spent a good paragraph talking about your silly jokes and describing just how much she loves your laugh.
————————————————————————
October 31 1996
The two of you went to Lottie's annual halloween party. Of course dressed in matching costumes. You spent a long time finding a cute costume that would match with one another. The entry sounds pretty normal except for Shauna’s clear jealousy to you playing spin the bottle with the other girls. You ended up having to kiss Natalie. It was all for fun and games but clearly Shauna didn’t think so. You read it over and Shauna sounds angry.
“It should have been me kissing them.” She finishes off the entry with that angrily scribbled in pen.
The next few entries are about the same. You feel bad for reading all her personal thoughts and feelings. But you can’t seem to stop yourself from reading. You spend 2 hours reading all of the entries. You lay in your bed contemplating what you should do?
Give it back to her?
Confront her?
Keep her in the dark?
You run through all the ideas and scenarios in your head. Your anxiety builds and builds. You decide to sleep on it, you're exhausted from all the thoughts of what could happen.
You wake up on Sunday morning rubbing your eyes as you look over and see her journal staring back at you. You get up and get dressed, determined to tell her.
Your mom went out to do some Christmas shopping and you left her journal open on your bed.
You hear a shape knock on your door. You walk over to the front door and open it to a slightly flushed Shauna. She’s dressed in her iconic flannel .
“Uh,hi, sorry for showing up unannounced but I-uh left my  journal here last night.” She is clearly nervous that you might have read it .
“Oh! Right, come in , it’s uh in my room.” You say ushering her in, your face heating up as your heart pounds.
You bring her into your room forgetting that you left her journal open on your bed. She walks in after you as you quickly grab it, closing it and passing it to her.
“Did you read it?” She says half nervous half accusatory. You stumble over your words as all your thoughts slip from your mind.
“You did read it ! You know it’s private!” She yells pacing around your bedroom. You try to jump into it to try and defend yourself but she’s not having any of it.
Shauna never yells at you and this version of her scares you. 
“Shauna plea-“ You try to say but she cuts you off to mad to listen. “You know how I feel about you don’t you? You know how I feel about you ?” She says her voice quiets a bit. 
“I can’t believe you would do this!” She starts yelling again. She sounds almost disappointed and it makes you feel worse. But you have to tell her.
You start tuning her out as you work up the courage She goes on about how mad she is. But you're not listening anymore. You step closer to her. She stops noticing the look on your face.
“What?” She starts to say before you quickly cut her off. You lean forward cupping her face and pulling her into a passionate kiss.
Her breath hitches and she gasps in shock. You pull back a little, noses touching. “Is this ok?” You say a hushed whisper. Shauna nods and smiles wrapping her arms around your waist, pulling you into another kiss this time.
You both end up on your bed, Shauna's journal discarded on the floor. As you too enjoy your first kiss together. Shauna’s hands behind your neck as you both make out. 
Shauna lays down with you and you smile . “I love you too. You know ?” You say as Shauna blushes remembering that you read all the things she said about you.
“Did you actually read like everything?” Shauna says quietly as she plays with the hem of your pants. You blush too a little embarrassed. “Yeah uh I did , funny enough I was trying to find an idea for a Christmas present.” You say as Shauna’s embarrassment slowly disappears.
“That stuff I wrote was a little uh well you know.” Shauna says turning shy again. “It was really cute Shaunie.�� You say with a little smirk. She groans and covers her face. “Especially when you said that you wanted to fight Natalie during halloween.” You say giggling a little at Shauna’s flustered face. 
“I also heard all about how you love when I wear this shirt.” You say sitting up a little to give her a full look. Her eyes widen a little and she somehow blushes more red. 
“That's mean.” She whines but you both know now that she is loving this. She eyes you up and down and pulls you in for another kiss. “I bought you that shirt for your birthday.” 
“I know silly you went on and on about it.” You tease as you pull her down with you and pull her into another long kiss.
“You know what? It turns out I got you what you wanted for Christmas.”
“Really what was it?”
“Me.” 
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rainba · 5 months
Note
I wanna start a blog and you are really inspirational do you have any advice for people making their first blog?:3
(I got a tip for you, and it's pink..../ref)
Awwwe, that’s sweet of you to say! (´。• ω •。`) ♡ I do have a little bit of advice for people making their first-time blog!
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I would say, to start out with, you should have maaaybe a general play as to what you wanna post? Like, do you want to make just fanfiction? OC content? Etc? You could have a couple of posts planned in a row, and then post them slowly. And if you wanna have a few people notice your stuff, I would say post something as a “hook” of sorts! ( ´ ▽ ` ) I also try to have my posts be a little bit colorful, just so they stand out more... But that's just a me thing.
If you wanna make a blog about one of your OCs, I would say to think about your OCs biggest, most important trait(s), and then really focus on them. After you get the main point in, then you can slowly branch out from there, fleshing out your characters. (≧◡≦) ♡
Like, for me, I think I ended up doing that unintentionally with Kairos– I really focused on how silly and pathetic he is in the fic with him getting naughty with a pillow. (Which… I can’t believe that it has over 1,500 notes?? Silly cute goth/emo boy fucking a pillow might be my magnum opus. Can’t even complain or anything, I actually still like it, hehe ( ´ ꒳ ` ).)
But this is all just general advice–! I’m not even sure if any of it is good advice, really, it’s just something I think I’ve noticed/how I feel.
For advice that I'm confident in, though, here’s a few points!
I’m someone who always feels deeply insecure every time I’m about to post. Like… “Is it good enough? Did I mistype anything? Does the picture look okay enough?” Every time I make something, I find myself stuck in this constant loop of rechecking everything, hoping that I might catch something that’s off. Sometimes I just stare at a piece I’ve made, and I just really don’t like it that much and wanna delete it. My, um... My mouse is forever edging that "post" button. So, here’s my advice on how I’ve been dealing with these kinds of feelings!
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“It’s not that serious.” 
Just go ahead and post whatever you want! It doesn’t have to be perfect. It doesn’t have to be the best thing you’ve ever made. It’s all for fun at the end of the day– it’s really not that serious.
“Just go ahead and post it! The sooner I get this out of the way, the sooner I can work on something else that might be even better!”
After I’ve read over something a couple of times, I usually have to forcefully stop and tell myself that. ^^;;;; The piece you’re making right now might not be perfect, it might not ever be, so… Why fight with it? Writing or drawing anything is good practice, so you can just call it that! Just call it a practice piece, the steppingstone for the next greater thing you’re gonna make. Who knows, when you post a piece, you might eventually come to find that you actually really like it, and you were just fooling yourself as you were editing. ᕕ( ᐛ )ᕗ
“Someone out there might really like what I make, so I should share it!”
I swear, for as long as I can remember, I’ve always been a sucker for yanderes. There’s just something about them that has always spoken to my soft, gothic heart… (o˘◡˘o) But, uh, finding good yandere content has always been a struggle!!
For all these years I’ve been hunting for good content, and I hadn’t really found any until the past 2-3 years. But it wasn’t through big, official content or anything– all of my favorite yandere stuff has been created by small little people on the internet. I’m so very thankful that so many talented people have come around and shared their works!! Without it, I feel like I would still be a lost soul, painfully searching through a barren desert, trying to find ‘water’ known as dark romance content of anime boys… wahh. ( ´ ▿ ` )
So, how does that tangent relate to you and your blog? Think of it like this: your blog could be the water in someone’s desert. Your OCs could be everything that somebody is hoping for! Your writing could be the reason why someone excitedly turns on their phone and checks Tumblr every day! There’s no need to be afraid or nervous about posting. Just post what you love– if you love it, then that means somebody out there is going to love it too. 
One of my favorite parts about this blog is sharing what I love with other people who love the same things. Every comment, every reblog with the silly tags, every ask, etc... It all keeps me really motivated. I'm super glad that I'm able to make fellow yandere-lovers happy!! It's an honor!
☆*:.。.o(≧▽≦)o.。.:*☆
(Also, I just really love seeing people make stuff. Creativity is such a beautiful thing to me. A little more on a serious note... I really despise AI art and AI writing. Seeing the joy of creation being slowly dampened and taken away is really disheartening- so I will always encourage people to make and post genuine stuff, no matter what! Please, put your love and your heart out there, simply to spite AI. ~~~)
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TLDR: go ahead and post! Just do it!
(Also... Help... What are you referencing? 😭)
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heybaetae · 9 months
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gifmaker / cc wrapped 2023!
thanks for tagging me my angel @jkvjimin 💜
i tried really hard not to choose all comp sets, but those take the most effort and therefore are what i'm prouder of than a standard set, but regardless...
here are my top 10 fave creations of the year:
bts chapter 1 insta feed // this was an insanely taxing project and is probably the most work i've ever put into anything, but i was really inspired to do it. it took about a week (one day for each panel) and was repetitive, i literally threw out my back by day 3 from sitting working on it that my body was in SO MUCH PAIN, but i wanted to get everything right and make it make sense which is why i wrote up a detail post breaking it down and explaining every decision that went into this. i still intend to make this a series and do one dedicated to their japanese discography (i actually started on one before i published this but didn't like the concept) and for their solo work, but it doesn't feel like the right time yet as things continue to release. but i look forward to it!
cheesy bts valentine cards // this was purposely corny, but the response was unbelievable! i had fun working on it and was so happy it made people laugh and smile. the tags were a joy to read on this post and it's my fourth most popular gifset ever. thank you!
bts guide to troubled birds // yet another corny idea, but i get a kick out of making silly comps and was inspired to make this. i started with jimin's as an experiment because his poem was the easiest to choose and built the rest of it from there, carefully deciding which poem to apply to each member and recreating them from scratch. i love celebrating their chaos in fun ways, so this was nice!
jungkook's sensitive tear ducts // sometimes i get really random comp ideas and spontaneously start making something with no plan. this was one of those times and it is now my third most popular gifset since making this blog in 2020 lol. ofc i'd never gif him upset about anything serious, so i only chose moments that didn't feel inappropriate to include to keep this set lighthearted and humorous.
long live bts (10th anniversary set) // i always knew i wanted to make something with the lyrics of that song because every word of it reminds me of their story. the 10th anniversary was perfect since it literally says "it was the end of a decade". i wanted the set to just be really simple so i went with a more desaturated look and focused more on choosing a scene from each year that fit the lyric per that gif.
love me again mv // this was my first time bothering to gif a music video in 4k. i usually avoid it bc it slows my computer down and takes a lot longer (i also have to reconvert the youtube download to a different file type to get it to play in my kmplayer, it's a whole process) but i waited a few days after it came out because i originially didn't think i could color it when it premiered so i just didn't gif it. but i gave it a try anyway when i didn't feel so pressured and i really like how crisp they came out.
jungkook's bday set // i didn't have a plan for this when i started, but i searched a lot for inspo and finally found something i felt like i could make something with so i came up with this very barbie-esque rendition for jungkook that i'm still very fond of. i purposely didn't write happy birthday on it anywhere so it could be shared year-round. it's probably my fave set i made all year and everyone seemed to like it too!
jimin's bday set // this was originally just going to include songs from FACE, but i decided it didn't celebrate jimin's work as a whole if i didn't include all his solo songs/endeavors so it turned into a big monster. i like how it came out though!
standing next to you mv // this year i was introduced to HD master files, so instead of rushing to download a new mv from youtube and giffing it fast, i'd wait for a higher quality rip from apple music to show up online. the difference is quite astounding. i made gifs with master files for all three of jk's music videos this year (seven, 3D), but i like how this one turned out the best.
vmin comp // just felt like giffing my two favorite people before they left and needed to channel my sad emotions into something before seeing them seperate for so long. i included moments i've giffed before and ones i've never had the chance to gif. i could have made this post so much longer but forced myself to stop lol. i like the pink and blue colors in it a lot <3 i miss them so much
thank for all your support on my work this year! i have lots of (old) new stuff in my drafts to share in the new year so please keep your love coming x
i'm going to tag @userjiminie @userjungkook97 @btsiu and @cordiallyfuturedwight to do this if they'd like to!
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zylophie · 8 months
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#SUPERSTAR — our esteemed guests ♡
✦ VIP — welcome, dearest friends~! you're probably wondering why superstar? That's because when the night creep in...the stars will shine brightly under the night sky and you, my friends are the stars of the show!
✦ NOTE — this is a list of people that we talk to on a few occasions, feel free to ask to be moots with us because we love interacting with other people ♡
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✦ @nogenderbee — bee
💌 yue is typing...
♡ bee is one of my good friends here, honestly they can make any conversation so entertaining and not to mention THEIR WORKS ARE SO GOOD LIKE MWAH, so if you like genshin, hsr and pjsk as well, bee's blog is highly recommended! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)
✦ @reikaoproducer — kiyo
💌 yue is typing...
♡ legit my first enstars friend that I could brainrot with!! I highly suggest checking kiyo's side blog because their writing was honestly so cute when I found them for the first time even the blog is so pretty like holy I could gush about it all day if I really want to (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.゚
✦ @leeniiyx — leni
💌 yue is typing...
♡ very cool person that I would love to talk with more! I was actually nervous to talk to leni at first but the more we talk on discord, I realized it was just me overreacting haha but honestly if you like genshin and you want to see more works of the girls, leni's blog is the right one for you, we approved for real ദ്ദി ˉ͈̀꒳ˉ͈́ )✧
✦ @lovely-showtimes — jellie
💌 x is typing...
♡ Jellie is one of the nicest and friendliest person I've met in this blog. I really enjoy interacting with them as we have a lot of favourite things in common, not to mention their fics are always so good !! I usually don't read for male characters but when it comes to Jellie's work, I would read everything !! (≧∇≦)
✦ @nian-7 — yugen
💌 yue is typing...
♡ yugen is one of the few people that I honestly didn't think I could vibes with so well, I was sweating nervously when I tried talking to them for the first time but now, it's just come naturally after getting to know how nice yugen is kdhdkbd I highly suggest checking yugen's blog out like please the fics there are so fun to read ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡)
✦ @myunghology — jian
💌 yue is typing...
♡ listen...this isn't a threat or anything but if you love enstars as much as I do, what are you doing here and go check jian's blog out like please for my sake odgekdb I love jian's leo smau, it's so funny when I read them at night especially a certain character remind me of x...(๑´>᎑<)~*
✦ @seangelfish — sil
💌 yue is typing...
♡ my idol in the enstars fandom...used to stalk the blog before I got yeeted here hehe...but seriously, if you want to brainrot with someone about enstars that isn't me and get cute fics with good writing on top of that? what are you waiting for?! sil's blog is highly recommend for you! ( ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ഒ
✦ @chocochiamy — amiie
💌 yue is typing...
♡ conversations with amiie was so fun that I may or may not stay up on a few occasions... anyways amiie is also a writer if you're interested in her works! no worries, she won't bite because she is actually very welcoming, you will feel right at home with her ”ʚ(*´꒳`*)ɞ“
✦ @catelismo — catarina
💌 yue is typing...
♡ rina is a very fun and creative person that I ever met so far, she is one of the few smau writers that I enjoy reading their smau fics so far and let me tell you that is actually hard to achieve because I avoid smau fics like a plague haha so if her works got me interested then it's definitely good, right? please shower her with love and support because she is so underrated klshehbd (。>\\<)
✦ @msith — miika
💌 x is typing...
♡ miika is one of my first few mutuals on this blog >< she's very silly and friendly !! She has one of the prettiest blog theme and one of my favourite writer for PJSK !!
✦ @starfilledsky2810 — star
💌 x is typing...
♡ I only recently met star but OMG, their drawings and artworks are always so edible !! Her drawing of rin is my favourite, very underrated artist !! :D
✦ @shiho-the-rock — shiho
💌 x is typing...
♡ Shiho is your go-to blog if you want to read for female characters !! Their works are an enjoyable read and they are super friendly !!
✦ @definitelynotafurinasimp — henry
💌 x is typing...
♡ henry is one of my oldest mutuals in my other blog. Although we don't talk much, his interactions with others are always funny and friendly !! His works for genshin are always TOP-NOTCHED !! Please check out his work if you haven't already :3
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