#uuugggghhhhh my chest still feels very tight and painful and I'm struggling to breathe properly
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I am literally shaking from the stress of trying to clear mental hurdles to place an order for a planner and stickers lmao 😭
Like, I might actually for realsies have to grab a paper bag in a minute if I can't get my breathing under control 🫤
#logically. rationally. i KNOW that *everything* i have or will order that's potentially going to be used for my 2025 planning and journaling#*will* be used at some point. like. stickers will keep. i don't have to use 500 (or whatever the actual number is idk) in a year#it's fine and even good for me to space that out instead of covering everything i own in stickers on day one#i also know that the journals i got will 100% be used and i will love them dearly#even if it takes 2+ years to decide to use a particular one#these are not perishable items and I've almost completely broken myself of the habit of hoarding notebooks etc without using them#because they're too pretty or I'm afraid of messing them up etc#i might put off starting to use one until i can actually put in the time to make the inside look how i want it to look#but that's not fear of messing up so much as ''fun project! but need the right head space first'' so i do actually enjoy it#uuugggghhhhh my chest still feels very tight and painful and I'm struggling to breathe properly#it's just the up front cost is so stressful#even though i *know* a lot of this will last for years and years
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