#usually it’s def the women that get the shit end of the stick but tonight it was def the men

[wasteofanarrow]

cowboys at da club

Thank you to @jelliebeansaregood for the prompt!

Remember, requests are OPEN!

Group Headcanon:

Lemme tell y’all, these motherfuckers go HARD to Friends in Low Places

I’m talking full on dancing with their arms around each other

Just the thought of this has me up in my feelings

Dutch:

Overdressed because he’s extra

Top shelf liquor ONLY because he’s def lying to himself

Works with Hosea to get into the VIP section

Chain smokes cigars in the comfy velvet seats

Chats up a few women and ignores Molly’s text messages

Only dances to a few songs

Dances way too hard to SexyBack...ends up throwing out his back

Hosea:

Didn’t really want to go because he’s “too old

But if he’s gonna go out he’s gonna do it right

Works with Dutch to get into the VIP section

These females are all up on him and he’s kinda shocked because he’s an old man—really boosts the confidence

Is up dancing until 4am...he feels like death the next day cuz he’s not used to this kind of life anymore

Arthur:

Arthur “stays at the bar until I’m sloshed” Morgan

Feels awkward at first but those whiskey shots tho

Once he’s good and drunk he’s super affectionate towards his friends—lots of “I love you, man” and slinging his arms around their shoulders

Dances super awkwardly on the outskirts of the dance floor but he’s having a great time and it shows

Chats with some ladies, and has a few dances but he doesn’t take anyone home—not the kind for one night stands after Eliza

Gets his ✨choice✨ ass slapped at least ten times by random people—he blushes furiously each time it happens

John:

Honestly he’s happy he got to come out tonight, he wanted to chill with the boys

Abigail didn’t have an issue with letting him go...so long as he wear a cock cage (we stan Abigail as a dom)

She’s not afraid of him cheating, she just wants to make sure any women grinding on him on the dance floor knows he’s taken in a humiliating way

Don’t worry it’s all consensual

Goes ham whenever an emo banger starts playing

Definitely requests Welcome to the Black Parade

Very sweaty

Gets drunk super fast because he’s a light weight, Arthur has to carry him to the car...and he definitely feels the cage John has on (through his pants of course) and he’s 100% uncomfortable. Thankfully John won’t remember this the next morning

Charles:

Sticks around Arthur and Javier

He doesn’t drink enough to get super wasted, just has a few and offers to drive the fellers home

Dances a lot

Buys people he’s attracted to drinks from across the bar

Hella phone numbers and people grinding up on that b o d y

Doesn’t do hookups too often because it’s not as fulfilling as a sexual encounter with someone he cares about, but he does ask a pretty girl on a lunch date on Sunday afternoon

Javier:

RESPECT THE DRIP

He looks incredible as per usual

He even accessorized for this y’all

Tears it up on the dance floor

Legit getting so much attention and he’s living for it

Goes hard to despacito even though he claims to hate that song

Takes home a guy and a girl ayyyy

Bill:

Is confused as to why men keep coming up to him and asking if he’s a “bear” what does that mean

Instantly regrets it when he asks Sean what it means

Orders Miller Lite even though he’s out on the town

A bit awkward at first, but he loosens up

Don’t even talk to him when the cha cha slide comes on because he’s ‘bout to risk it all on the dance floor

Sean:

Requests Cotton Eyed Joe and goes HARD to that shit

Definitely took some mdma, he’s having a fantastic time thank u very much

He and Lenny fuck it up on the dance floor to the point where people gather around them to watch

Starts a bar fight when he gets overly fucked up, gets kicked out

Micah:

Vodka shots every five minutes

Takes people’s leftover drinks because hey it’s a free drink (clearly has no regard for his own safety—the gang keeps tabs on him)

Tries too hard to chat up the ladies but manages to charm one woman enough to dance with her and take her home later

Super sexual dancing—if it weren’t for the clothes, it would look like he’s all up in them guts on the dance floor

Lenny:

When I say boy’s got moves I mean boy’s got moves

He also went ham to Cotton Eyed Joe

Took shots with Arthur so he’s super fucked up

Is embarrassed when people hit on him because he’s a sweet cinnamon roll who doesn’t know how to romance

Still manages to get a phone number or two as well as a few dances

Throws up in the Uber back home

Kieran:

Sweet, shy, anxious angel boy didn’t want to go out so he’s home in his softest pjs watching tv with Mary-Beth