#usually im okay with these but the level designs actually look pretty fun! especially when i saw the chao themed one ough

[asamlambung]

Gush about your fave DR character! ♡

WVJHKHKHKHK anon whoever you are please know that youre unleashing a beast but also thank you im….. 

(actually i made a tierlist for this though it might not be as accurate since it was a few months ago)

(also sorry for the characters that are in the lower tiers i swear even if i don’t like them most of them are still good memes. and the ones in “c” and “b” i’d definitely like more if there’s some good art/fics that explore their characters better though i might not actively look for it.)

OK so just to preface i havent seen most free times and most of my impression came from joseph anderson’s playthrough sooo i might be biased but im definitely planning on rewatching at least v3 in its entirety with all of its ftesO i guess it’s best if i start chronological and lemme just say. SAKURA OOGAMI IS BEST GIRL

it’s easy to say that im weak for big stronk gal who can lift me easily. and there is /definitely/ that point.

this is gonna sound weird but i really like the level-headedness she brings to the trials. i wouldnt say she’s the smartest but she rounds up the whole cast in a way that keeps the trials from being too absurd and non-sensical. there are other characters that also do this but seeing it come from her makes me happy somehow? maybe it’s because she also balances asahina in that sense and also that she’s the fourth trial stronk person who’s the most level headed compared to gonta and nekomaru. not saying those two are bad either, they’re great characters in their own right but i feel like their function is more on the side of entertaining rather than weighing in on the discussion. i especially think nekomaru’s whole thing with shitting is funny and it’s kinda a shame that sdr2 cut him from trials starting from the third.

speaking of sakura, yes i ship her with hina. no, duh. they’re good together. but i was also kinda touched when she talked about kenshiro. idk, sakura has two strong beefy hands and she can hold her girlfriend and boyfriend at the same time ok.(pretty sure kenshiro appears in udg but i havent experienced that game outside of seeing a few cutscenes so i wouldnt know)

also the fact that we get a callback to her in the strawberry house was. idk if i should say cool or if it was funny but it was something. and yep, her death was the saddest out of the fourth trials the games had. nekomaru’s death was more respectful for me and i felt more sad about gonta during his trial than his death. it’s more gruesome than sad, to be honest.(and ok the smoothskin joe gives to sakura is also kinda funny)

with other dr1 characters i like most of them are usually because of my friends’ (who got into dr years before i did) influence like kyoko and celeste. there are some others i laugh at but it’s more because of the inside jokes of the streamer i was watching.

.

ok so with sdr2 komaeda is easily one of the top. but tbh the reason why it is is bc a few years ago i read this (illegally distributed) doujin that had written his character really well. tbh i feel kinda bad now knowing that the doujinka stopped circulating their doujin bc of that and some of the subject matter of their doujin is… a bit too much for me. but the ones that are good are really good and when i came into canon i was like, “oh, this is the fingers in ass guy who got memed to death" nowadays, i see him more as pickle nagito though. i am interested in seeing how his character can be… well, not redeemed but i want to see him heal. whiiich might never happen in canon bc his hope bagel personality is too infamous now.

also i know everyone hcs nagito’s voice as smth along the lines of nico’s voice or john’s voice but like consider jph’s stoner voice. please. it’s so fucking funny with the fucking pickle komaeda meme. maybe it’s bc although im not obsessed with hope or despair, i related to his way of seeing karma. 

after experiencing sdr2 thoough, lemme just say that johnny yong bosch did a great job voicing hajimmy hinata. like im not even kidding i really like that voice and if i was ursula i would steal that voice for my own use. buutt i cant do that. unlike komaeda, i’m pretty indifferent to his character arc and enjoy his one on one interactions with the characters more and how he reacts to the immediate events that happened over the course of sdr2.

soo yeah komaeda and hinata are literally opposites in my head, ain’t much of a surprise that i ship them i guess. but!! i like a lot of the gals in sdr2 surprisingly.

like, ok. maybe i’m biased but the designs for the gals in sdr2 are so goddamn adorable. like okay there’s the obvious ones like chiaki and sonia. and i don’t know why sonia’s personality is so goddamn adorable. like not in the “awww you’re so fucking uwu” type of way but more in the sense that she’s funny? it feels like even through all her weirdness that she still manages to make genuine connections with the characters.

with peko, it’s hard to dislike her considering her whole arc with the second trial. of course liking her goes in hand with liking fuyuhiko’s character too but i just like.. how stoic she sounds??? it’s adorable????? and with mikan yeah she kinda went… off in the third trial but consider???? her voice when she snaps was so goddamn hot?????????????? sdr2 has the best voice acting cant change my mind.

and i don’t know why, gundham is so goddamn funny and if i wanna show how absurd sdr2 can get i show my friends gundham’s scenes. he’s fucking funny, ok. and alongside nekomaru i can respect his death in a way. i goddamn saluted when i first watched his execution (with the full context of the trial) because i just really liked the conviction he carried with his murder.

.

aand with v3…

miu’s one of the funniest character ever!! i swear. i know some people look at the sex jokes and go, “ugh” but im a manchild so i ended up enjoying her moments so much. though i’m kinda a bit meh on the fanservice side, i like how she’s one of the characters who sticks out more. in my language we call her “pentolan” i guess.

tenko’s kinda an easy character for me to like considering… stronk lady. would love for her to carry me. the misandry can get a bit too much but she’s also a pretty funny and genuine character on top of that so she came out with me liking her.

kaede and tsumugi are characters i grew to /love/ after i thought about them a lot.

with kaede, the point i started to relate to her… was with her thirst with girls. i swear im not joking. but. okay. i like her position as the protag and all her ideals. one thing i was surprised that didn’t manage to make me relate to her was her passion for piano considering i’ve also studied it for like, around 12 years. maybe it’s because i kinda fell out of it around 2 years ago because reasons. despite of that though, i like how assertive she was in her time as the protag. and her execution was goddamn beautiful.

tsumugi, though, i wouldn’t grow to love as much if it weren’t for 郁十‘s works. like. please. go watch all of their videos it’s all so good. i think someone else talked about this, but tsumugi’s position as the mastermind feels a lot more “human” than what we got with junko enoshima. compared to kaede, i feel like we could’ve gotten so much more with her as a villain and i just want to see more of her outside of her “plain bread” facade.

it might also be due to my own hcs for them so they’re on my head a lot more than most of the other v3 characters are. even more than my two actual favorites!!

ok, ok. kochiki and shuichi are definitely my favorites of the bunch. like, the toppest tiers of fav actually. it’s kinda hard to talk about these two separately tbh. maybe it’s because before danganronpa, my previous otp in my previous fandom had these two’s dynamics as well. and like, there’s a certain pairing to a fandom i haven’t caught up to in years who also have a detective/phantom thief dynamic. aaand also persona 5 and that one pairing that i don’t have to name for people to know which is my otp.

yeah i’m a sucker for these types of characters. it’s kinda typical that they’d be popular in the fandom. which i’ll  h a p p i l y  eat up.

soo it’s kinda easy to start with kochiki. i think i don’t have to go into every minute detail and go all meta on why i like him as a character because a lot of people have articulated better on why his character works. he’s fun to watch when interacting with other characters and figuring out his motivation put my brain on work. i’ll say this though, i actually enjoy kokichi better when he’s not being woobified. he’s a rat through and through and i will enjoy this possum boi for that.

(oh wait, possum boi is rantaro. nvm.)

and now mr. detective himself. so i loved his character at first. didn’t love him more than kochiki but. liked his arc, he was a fun protag. then the fan content came and he became very moe in my eyes so i guess it’s easier to say that i uh, like fancontent of shuichi better but i like canon kokichi better. and also how is it that the majority of ousai e-rated works has shuichi as a top SHUICHI IS NOT A TOP um yeah anyway. i feel like out of all the main characters he’d be a pretty nice person to hang out with.

also his eyelashes are nice. im totally not embarrassed while typing this out. im literally physically restraining myself from typing out more so i can not embarrass myself even further.

.

okay congrats anon here you are i hope you enjoyed this embarrassing mess it took me more than a day to type this out because i don’t know where i should stop myself regarding some characters. but uh yeah. i have gushed. now i shall return to the abyss.

(unless anybody asks me to gush about my ocs which might actually be thrice as long as this)

[sol1056]

hey im the anon who asked about how you knew the stuff, sorry i wasn't too clear on what. i just read the post explaining EPs and how the behind the scene stuff worked and i wanted to know how you knew all that, like are you involved in the industry? or just a nerd?

gotcha! Well, remember how back in S1/S2, people kept pointing out Hunk could be… awfully nosy? always getting into things, asking questions?

I was over here going, YES HUNK IS MY PEOPLE. 

It’s a hallmark of a certain type of engineer: insatiable curiosity, and never satisfied with only one answer, always sure there’s more to discover. Okay, we’re not all engineers — a lot of us are Russian Lit majors — but the key is our drive to discover. We take apart, put back together, connect dots close and far, turn things around and study them from a new direction. We’re those people who randomly show up in your part of the building, poke our heads in the room and say, “so, what do all y’all do here? what’s this do? hey, what’s that?”

Despite the fact that most of us seem to be (strangely) strong introverts, that doesn’t stop us. We’ve got questions for everyone. We’ll talk to total strangers all day if we’re on the trail of a particularly interesting idea. In a nutshell, we’re utterly shameless.

I did post-production back when NLE was relatively new and the compositing applications required massive nearly-mainframe computing power. I was mostly in the sfx/cg areas, but I weaseled my way into the color suite pretty regularly. I sat in on editing sessions and was a happy lunch-fetching lackey if it got me a chance to watch the compositing team. Any lull meant a chance to chat up directors, cinematographers, producers, etc. I totally took advantage. 

It’s been awhile since I did that – and since then I’ve been a roady, a mental health & substance abuse admin, a doorman, and even owned a bookstore, before going corporate. But for every wacky thing I’ve done, I’ve also kept in touch with people I met. Frex: the friend who got me the post-production job is now an executive producer. Yes, I do call him with questions. He’s used to it. If he doesn’t know an answer, he sends me to someone who does. (Another reason we’ve been friends for so long.) One answer is never sufficient, never a reason to stop there.

Meet one novelist, get introduced to six more, and three of them write for TV. Oh, that’s handy. Should save that contact, could be useful someday. It’s actually rare for someone to say no, come to think of it. idk, as long as I can get access, I can usually get the person to tell me something I can use. 

However, since my actual area of expertise applies across many industries, I’ve worked all kinds of places. A lot of it’s client-facing, and if you think that means I’m not wandering around the client site poking my head into rooms and cheerfully interviewing people on the spot, then you haven’t been paying attention.

Now that I work at a multinational corporation, I have literally thousands of people in my network, including everyone who’s moved on to a new place. You might be surprised how many people are fine with, “hey, I work at X with Y, and Y told me you’d know this.” Of course, everyone has a bias and a view limited to their own experience, so you can’t stop there. You can’t really understand a situation without knowing the agendas of all the players. You gotta ask a bunch of people, make sure you’re getting the most rounded sense of things. 

Not really a hardship for me. It’s kinda the whole point. 

People are people everywhere (outside cultural quirks), and it’s rare I’m ever researching a single person (I’m not an investigative journalist, if you were wondering). Most of the time, I’m looking for the industry-based cultural expectations. As in, “given X and Y, what would someone who does A generally think is a reasonable action, in this situation?”  

The key is to have a believable reason for asking, and being a writer definitely qualifies. “I’m researching for a story, and I have a character who do X. I wanted to know if it’s realistic for them to know Y. Who do you think would be the best person to ask?” I frequently cold-call, and I never ask “is there someone there,” I ask who they think is the best person. A lot of times it ends up being someone that the phone operator knows (personally or by reputation) who’s full of bizarre trivia and enjoys a chance to show it off. (Plus, it’s amazing what you can learn about a person from all the other subtle cues people are unaware they’re telling, when they’re focused on their area of expertise.)

That’s how I ended up interviewing the Director of the DEA about whether a non-US-university degree would satisfy the education requirement. His letter of introduction got me monthly lunches for awhile with the DEA director in my city. (Oh, the stories I heard.) It’s how I learned about sheep subsidies from one of the top execs at the USDA, and that there’s a single surviving Civil War widow still getting a VA pension. Going in person is even more fun. You could wind up talking to one of the very few artists in the world whose speciality is touching up pre-Renaissance books so the repairs aren’t visible. Or the art historian whose job is going through the nation’s attic and identifying century-old fakes. 

I’ve talked to embassy officials from five different countries, NASA biophysicists and astrophysicists, OSHA inspectors, Nobel prize-winning economists, police detectives, celebrity chefs, environmental lawyers, arena-level sound-people, race-car drivers, potters, opera singers, patent examiners, train mechanics, fire marshals, foley artists, and club DJs. I’ve interviewed fashion photographers, farriers, puppeteers, lighting designers, Catholic bishops, bioethicists, rabbis, fighter pilots, public radio personalities, newspaper editors, chemists, club organizers, war correspondents, Episcopalian nuns (yes they exist), textile artists, prison architects, midwives, cabinetmakers, tall ship sailors, haute couture seamstresses, and civil engineers. On and on and on. 

Don’t neglect official avenues, either. The Department of Labor, the International Brotherhood of Carpenters and Joiners, the Screen Writers’ Guild, the list is nearly endless — any organization, union, or federal/state dept that sets or guides policy. Everyone has a bias, so what people consider normal is sometimes… not. Or they just didn’t know (or saw no need to know, the fools) the reason for A over B. You have to check the rules, because a discrepancy between what you’re told should be done versus what people tell you is actually done… is also useful to know. 

(Labor practices are definitely one of those areas, since federal labor policy is something every company must observe. It’s the law. So when a workplace seems to be violating the law, it raises a lot of interesting questions.) 

And finally, of course, there’s traditional research. Textbooks written by people in an industry can be particularly interesting, especially if it’s a book meant for readers outside that industry (which usually means a lot of firsthand anecdotes to round out the gaps). Popular articles, academic essays, post-mortem white papers, TED talks, interviews. You need to do your basic homework, because there’s no waste of someone’s time quite like asking them a question that’s patently absurd once you get past common assumptions. 

I once explained the plot of a popular SF show to a NASA astrophysicist, and his response was simply, “Every word you used was English, but those words in that order make absolutely no sense at all.” Kind of a dead-end, there. You can’t come at a top-level expert with intro-level questions. 

Since I don’t always know who I’ll stumble over next, being an information sponge means I at least have a whole encyclopedia of analogies. If I can find  common ground (cars and houses are two of the best), I can at least get a basic idea of the person’s meaning. “Oh, so it’s like when you turn the key in the ignition, and the lights don’t come on because the battery is dead?” 

It’s asking the right questions, using an open and friendly approach, and having the right timing. Remember: there is no such thing as unskilled labor; there is only undervalued labor. That is, their time is also valuable, so be brief, open, and sincere. Treat every person as if they’re an authority in something, even if you haven’t figured out what that is. 

The world is a massively complex place, and contains more things than are dreamt of in our philosophies, all of it waiting to be discovered.

Or, the shorter version:

btw: I don’t actually recommend going in person to the Dept of the Interior, though. You’ll get lost. Like, instantly. That place is MASSIVE.

[dragonasheswrites-blog]

The Heaven We Didn’t Choose, Chapter 8: In Which The Internet is Invoked

...And Sans nearly loses his edgelord club membership card. 

First: Chapter 1: In Which a Child Makes a Friend

Previous: Chapter 7: In Which Skeletons are Explained

Next: Chapter 9: In Which Dog Marriage Saves the Day

Click here for the story overview.

The next day went about as well as Sans expected.  He was once again woken up by the flurry of alarms reminding him of Undyne’s impending invasion of the apartment, but he made sure to have Attie up and dressed in ’training clothes’ before she arrived.

It was worth the extra effort.  Undyne had calmed considerably, having apparently slept at some point, but she kept eyeing him with a very...intense expression.  Attie demanded enough of her attention that she didn’t say anything, but he felt an overwhelming sense of foreboding.

Either Frisk had made good on her threat to talk to Undyne about Boss or Sans had messed up on his paperwork again.  Possibly both.  He was betting on the former, though, especially since Boss hadn’t come back to the apartment the previous evening.

This meant that Undyne wound up giving them a crash course in breakfast...literally.  The kitchen looked like a war zone by the time they were finished, with globs of oatmeal across the ceiling, floor, and stove top.  The oatmeal itself was full of dark brown flakes that made Attie wince every time she took a bite.  He made a mental note to look up an oatmeal-making tutorial on Youtube; there had to be a more efficient way to do this.

“No paperwork today,” Undyne said once she’d scarfed down her own portion of oatmeal.  “The queen’s doing the morning visit before she meets with the...well, with...important people.  We’re also moving her room and posting a guard outside.”

Sans blinked at her, slowly.  “...What are you talking about?”

She growled.  “Frisk.  The ambassador.  Queen Toriel is going to see her this morning to assess her status.  You,” she gestured to both of them with a strange figure eight motion, “stay here.  You can see her this afternoon if you get the all-clear, but text me first.  We’re relocating her to a more defensible room and posting a guard.  Make sure you bring your ID, ass-clown, or you’ll be locked out.”

“Don’t lock me out!”  Attie said, grabbing Undyne’s arm.  “I wanna see my mommy!”

“Oh, you can go on in just fine, punk; the guards won’t bother you.  They’re just gonna make sure no one gets to see your mommy without permission.  If a bad guy tries something funny they’ll beat ‘im up!  It’s for security, right?”

“Cool!”  The girl bounced in her seat.  “Can I be security for Mommy too?  I wanna beat up bad guys!”

“Haha!  You’ve gotta train a little harder than THAT if you wanna be in the Guard!  Ready?”

“Ready!”

“I’ll be here,” Sans said, staring intently at the last globs of oatmeal in his bowl.  “You guys have fun.”

Being lifted by his skull was a new and special kind of painful, he discovered.  Also, Undyne’s grin was even more terrifying close up.

“You’re not getting out of training THAT easy, nerd!  A little exercise never hurt anyone!”

Attie made a mad dash for the living room, screaming about training and friendship and how wonderful everything in her little life was.

The next hour and a half could only be described as torture.  Sans didn’t know a whole lot about humans and fish-monsters (or whatever Undyne was), but he was very certain that skeletons were not designed to bend in some of the ways she was trying to make him bend.  He could feel the strain on his joints; he was sure he was going to dislocate something.  It didn’t help that the stretches were interspersed with periods of intense movement, pushing his still-sore bones well past their limit.  He hoped Boss never found out about this; the big guy had enough punishment ideas to last him a lifetime.

He collapsed onto the couch when Undyne finally stopped.

“That was a GREAT warm-up,” she said.  “Now for the REAL training!”

Sans debated crawling under the couch.  There wasn’t a lot of space under there; his skull and ribcage would be a problem...

She laughed at him.  “I’m just kidding, NERD!  Don’t you know how to take a joke?  Hey, hey Attie, look at this loser!  He can’t even do a little exercise!”

“Mr. Sans isn’t a loser,” Attie solemnly reminded her.  “He’s a asshole.”

“You BET he is!  Anyways, make sure he doesn’t fall asleep, huh?”

“Okay!”

His phone went off.  Oh, right; he hadn’t texted Frisk all morning.  He’d get on that.  Just as soon as he could feel his arms again.

“Mr. Sans?”

His vision started going...a little fuzzy…

“-ey?  Hey?  Can you hear me?”

Sans looked up at Undyne.  She was looking a little worried or angry, one of the two.  He wasn’t sure why; he hadn’t actually passed out, had he?  “‘Mfine,” he mumbled into the couch cushion.

“Yeah, no, punk.  Attie, go grab me the bottle of green juice in your fridge and a cup.  Sans, talk to me.”

“‘M fine."

She huffed.  “You’re an idiot.  No, listen to me: you’re an idiot.  Anyone knows to speak up when they’re being pushed too far.  Except you, I guess.  Do you know what’s happening?  Your magic levels are so low you’re losing HP.  Slowly, but still.  You’re literally killing yourself.”

“Thought a little exercise never hurt anyone.”

“Yeah, a little exercise.  We didn’t even do much, really.  Heck, Attie’s had more exercise over the past few days than we normally do in a week, and she’s just fine.  You?  You collapsed under your own lack of magic.  We’re not even practicing magic, beyond whatever’s holding you together and making you move!  You’d have to do...well, pretty much no exercise at all on a regular basis AND be super low on magic to get to this point.”

“Sounds ‘bout right.”

“And that’s why you’re an idiot.  Oh - thanks, Attie.”  She took the bottle of juice, poured some into the cup, and pushed it towards Sans.

He managed to get himself upright and tipped... most of the juice into his mouth.  It tasted like something that was brewed in a froggit’s armpit, but he did feel better after.  “...What is that stuff?”

“Magic-infused sports drink.  Good for the body AND the SOUL!  The Royal Scientist came out with it a few years back.  You never heard of it?”

“It’s disgusting.”

“I’ve seen what you leave behind at your sentry post; you have no right to criticize anyone else’s eating or drinking habits.”

Fair enough.

“Also, next time we do this, frickin’ tell me when you’re about to collapse, would ya?”

“Gee, didn’t know you cared.”  Also: next time??

“Oh, I don’t.  Someone needs to watch this little punk, though, and she seems kinda fond of you.  Stars know why.”  She ruffled Attie’s hair.

The kid grinned widely.  “It’s ‘cause he feeds me hot dogs and lets me do fun science and lets me color and takes me to see my mommy.  And he didn’t let Mommy die and he helped me beat Mr. Papyrus and stuff.”

Sans eyed her.  “...Right.”

“I told Undie all about the fight with Mr. Papyrus!  I have her phone number in my phone and I was texting her last night when I was supposed to be sleeping.”

“‘M I gonna have to take your phone away at bedtime?”

“Noooo!”  She flopped over onto the couch next to him dramatically.

Undyne laughed.  “Well, since you’re not about to dust, I’ll be off.  Drink another glass of that stuff, asshole.  Attie, make sure he does.”

“Okay!”

“And Vice Captain Papyrus will be back sometime this evening.  If he scares you at all, even just a little bit, you tell this worthless lump here to get you out and you text me.  Okay?”

“Okay!”

“Oh, and a word of advice, Sans?”

He raised his head a fraction.

“Walk around a little.  You’ll be even worse off if you don’t.”

The very atmosphere seemed to deflate when Undyne left.  Sans felt like melting into the couch cushions and just...not moving until Boss came back and kicked his lazy butt into gear.

“Come ooooon!”  Attie whined, grabbing the back of his jacket and trying to drag him off the couch.  She was succeeding.  “Undie said you have to keep moving!  If she says so then we have to do it!”

“Noooo.”  Sans dug his claws into the couch, trying to anchor himself without leaving obvious rips that Boss would scream at him for.

His phone went off again.

He reluctantly disentangled himself from the kid enough to sit up (though she wound up clinging to his back) and pulled it out.

Frisky Dreamer 9:22 AM Sans, I’m waiting for a check-in.

Frisky Dreamer 9:42 AM I’m calling Undyne if I don’t hear from you in five minutes.

You 9:44 AM Undie just left We were doing morning torture

Frisky Dreamer 9:44 AM Explain.  Now.

You 9:46 AM U know the stretching and the posing and the running in place that kindve thing The usual stuff undie likes

Frisky Dreamer 9:46 AM Training?

You 9:47 AM Yeah that

Frisky Dreamer 9:47 AM Don’t call Captain Undyne’s training ‘torture,’ or I’ll tell her you called her “Undie.”

You 9:48 AM U got it

“Oooh, ask her if we can come see her this afternoon!”  Attie said, leaning over his shoulder.

You 9:49 AM Kid wants to know when we can come see you this afternoon If ur up for it

Attie dragged him off the couch when no answer came immediately.  He reluctantly shuffled his tired bones around the living room a few times, but gave up when his phone remained silent.  “Uh, you’d better change your clothes, kid.  Maybe your mom’ll text us back later.  She’s probably busy, remember?”

“Oh, yeah!  Granny Ree’s visiting her this morning, right?”

“Right.  So let’s see if we can find something your mom’ll approve of, okay?”

“Okay!”

Attie wound up in a yellow and white striped shirt and jeans.  He mentally reviewed the fashion lessons from the morning before.  It looked...pretty good?  Jeans went with everything, right?  He couldn’t tell if the yellow was supposed to be ‘good’ or ‘bad’ for Attie’s skin color (all of that had gone clear over his skull) but Frisk wouldn’t have bought her kid a shirt that looked bad on her, right?

...Hopefully?

He snapped a picture and sent it to the overbearing mother, hoping for the best.

Schoolwork went better than the day before.  Sans was still mostly lost, but a few subjects (mostly Math and Science) weren’t too different from what he’d been taught in the Underground.  At seven years old, Attie wasn’t doing anything too complicated; he was able to follow along and help out fairly well.

It reminded him of teaching Boss, really.  The sad structure that passed for a school in Snowdin had burned to the ground around the time Sans graduated (in a completely unrelated incident, not that he hadn’t been tempted), so Boss had been deprived of a few years’ formal education.  It had been challenging to get an excitable babybones to sit still long enough to do a page of multiplication, but he’d done his best.

His best, he knew, wasn’t great.  It was probably the reason Boss turned out the way he had.

Attie, at least, was used to the routine.  She knew to check her list of schoolwork (Undyne had left it on the counter this time, and had removed the one she’d pinned up with the knife) and found her assignments based on the numbers associated with each subject.  It boggled Sans’s mind.  Teaching kids at home was, apparently, something humans had simplified greatly.  There was a whole system of what to do each day and everything.  It made remembering to text Frisk a little easier, too; he just shot off a text as they finished each subject.  Attie did the same, happy for an excuse to use her new phone.

Lunch was hot dogs, again.  Attie, predictably, demanded that Sans eat his all in one bite.  He initially refused, but...well, the thing she did with her eyes was growing on him.  He caved and swallowed his hot dog whole.

He didn’t sit still long enough for Attie to take a picture of him doing it.  She did her best, but it wasn’t quite enough.

Ding!

Frisky Dreamer 12:58 PM Sans, what exactly are you teaching my daughter?

You 12:59 PM Nothing were just having lunch

Frisky Dreamer 12:59 PM So bragging to a young girl about how you can swallow weiners is normal for you?

Sans squinted at his phone, trying to make sense of the message.  He knew ‘weiner’ was another word for ‘hot dog,’ but...he felt there was something he was missing.

You 1:00 PM Kinda i mean i run a ‘dog stand Dont really talk to the customers but sometimes onell wonder y a skeleton needs food Where r u going with this?

Frisky Dreamer 1:02 PM I can’t decide if you’re naive, stupid, or far more creepy than I ever gave you credit for.  Where is Attie now?

He looked around.  The kid was at the table doing more Grammar.  He snapped a picture.  

You 1:04 PM *1 picture message sent

Frisky Dreamer 1:05 PM Okay.

You 1:06 PM Kiddo what the hell is going on

Frisky Dreamer 1:07 PM You can’t do that anymore.  And stars, keep Attie from talking about your ‘hot dog trick.’

You 1:08 PM Uh y

Frisky Dreamer 1:09 PM BECAUSE I WON’T HAVE YOU INVOLVING MY DAUGHTER IN YOUR DIRTY PRANKS!!

Yep, he was definitely missing something.

You 1:10 PM U high again?  I have no idea what ur talking about

Frisky Dreamer 1:10 PM Stupid it is, then.  Look it up. NOT around Attie.

Sans double-checked that Attie was studying and not peeking over his shoulder, then opened the web browser on his phone.  He typed in ‘eat a weiner.’

Oh.  OH.

...Humans were disgusting.

You 1:12 PM So uh what the hell U humans r crazy Like what even Y would u do that with ur mouths With all ur gross fluids Thats unsanitary Like wow

Frisky Dreamer 1:15 PM That’s about the reaction I was expecting.  So NO MORE, OKAY?

You 1:15 PM I may never eat a hot dog again What the hell Y didnt anyone say anything Like do people think im some kind of weirdo for working at a dog stand Like theyre just in the store with other food Is that normall Is tht what huans do

Frisky Dreamer 1:17 PM Oh, you sweet, innocent child. You have no idea.

You 1:17 PM Y do humans destroy everything good This is a travesty against Science Like y

Frisky Dreamer 1:19 PM Sans, calm down.

You 1:19 PM O ok Uh So No more dogs for the kid

Frisky Dreamer 1:20 PM They are just normal food.  Deal with it however you want. It’s just that said food happens to vaguely resemble part of the human anatomy that a little girl DOES NOT need to know or think about. Just watch your words, okay?

You 1:23 PM O so im off the hook

Frisky Dreamer 1:23 PM Not hardly.

“Mr. Sans?”

Sans quickly pocketed his phone and looked over at Attie, holding her Grammar workbook to her chest.  “What’s up, kid?”

“Are you okay?”

“Uh...fine?  Why do you ask?”

“You’ve been texting for a long time now.  And you look kinda sick.”

“Heh, yeah?”  He gripped his phone, wishing he had some of that...what did humans call it?  The stuff that makes you forget stuff?  Brain bleach?  “Your mom was just telling me that ‘dogs aren’t good for ya.  So I guess that’s out.  For now, at least.”

“Awwwww.”

“Yeah, me too, kid.”  He was never going to live this down, he realized.  

“Say, uh, you done with your school?”

“I’m done with Grammar.  It was easy today.”

“Yeah, uh, great.  What’s next?”

Sans fought for focus the rest of the afternoon.  It wasn’t so much that humans apparently had some weird kinky ideas about what to do with their gross squishy body parts and fluids (though that was part of it); it was the fact that he’d lived on the surface for seven years and had never come across such an idea.  Did humans think it was weird that a monster had a hot dog stand?  Why had no one said anything to him?

Oh, right.  He was a rude, violent asshole who hated people.

That...probably explained a lot.

Still.

“Can you help me with art today?”  Attie asked.

“Uh, I’m not really an artsy guy, kid.”

“It’s okay.  Everyone can do art.  Making art is a way of showing other people how you see the world; that’s what Mommy says.”

“That sounds…” kinda whimpy, actually, “...cool?”

“Yep!  And today I’m feeling spikey!”

“Wait, what?”

“Do you have toothpicks and glue, Mr. Sans?”

As it happened, Sans found an unopened jumbo box of toothpicks in the back of a drawer.  Attie found glue...somewhere.  He wasn’t sure he wanted to know where.  “What now?”

“Now, we build stuff!  Here, can you hold this?”

Over the next hour or so, Attie glued toothpicks (and half of Sans’s fingers) into a spiked wooden death trap.  It was actually a little impressive.  The design was basic - a pit trap with spikes in the bottom - but the pit cover had working hinges that allowed it to drop open in the middle...once he disentangled himself from it.  They’d found a pair of old bottle caps, and gluing one on each side of the pit cover gave the two halves enough of a counter-weight to reset themselves each time.  She found a bag of grapes in the fridge and amused herself with rolling them over the top of the pit and watching them fall to their squishy deaths on the toothpicks below.

There wasn’t enough force to actually impale the grapes properly, but it was the thought that counted.  For a seven-year-old, she was well on her way towards carrying on the proud monster tradition of death traps.  Not for the first time, Sans wondered if he should be worried.

Then the kiddo surprised him.  She’d been rolling grapes onto the death trap, watching the cover open and close, and out of the blue she asked why it worked the way it did.  Sans hadn’t expected that, not from a kid her age, but gave her an overview of the physics.  She was trying to understand, he knew, but her eyes glazed over halfway through his explanation.

“...Well, that’s enough for today.  We’d better head out if you wanna go see your mom.”

“Okay!  Can I bring my deadly death trap of grape death?”

“I...think that’d be a bad idea.  You don’t wanna scare the humans, do ya?”

“Yep!  I wanna scare ALL the humans!  Well, except for the people at the Embassy.  They’re nice.”

“Oookay.  You don’t think the doctors are nice?”

“Nnnope!  They give you shots and take your temper’ture and do things that make your soul feel funny.  They try to bribe you with stickers but Mommy said that she got candy as a kid and that’s way better than stickers.”

“Eh, fair enough.  Put your shoes and jacket on and we’ll go terrorize some doctors.  Uh...without your death trap.”

“Aawww!  Why?”

“Think of it as...a challenge?”

Attie whooped a wild war cry and charged off to find her outerwear.  She really was like a little Boss in some ways.

He was sure he was forgetting something.  What had Undyne said?

Oh.  Right.

You 4:42 PM Hey undyne im gonna take the kid to see her mom

Capn Undie 4:44 PM HANG ON ASSHOLE

There was a long pause, and Sans took the time to retrieve his ID from where he’d left it in the pocket of his other pants.  He hated disturbing the sanctity of his laundry pile but showing up without identification to one of Undyne’s checkpoints was always unpleasant.

His phone gave a loud ping.

Capn Undie 4:53 PM You’re cleared with security.  Room 249, down the hall and around the corner from the old room.  BRING YOUR ID and we’ll have no problems, got it??

You 4:56 PM Got it

Capn Undie 4:59 PM And don’t even THINK about causing trouble or I’ll have you KICKED OUT.  You can sit outside while Attie does whatever she does visiting her mom.  I’m sure there’s a kiddie chair we can grab for you.

Sans narrowed his eye sockets.  “Hey, Attie?  You ready to go yet?”

“Not yet!”  Attie appeared with her shoes on, holding her jacket.  “My laces were being doo-doo-butts,” she said conversationally.

“...Right.  Okay.  Hey, why don’t you grab that death trap after all?  And some grapes; we can show yer mom how it works.”

“Physics!”  Attie screamed as she stumbled off to find her creation.

Sans grinned.

[my-job-is-to-fangirl]

This is such a random post, but I watch a lot of youtube and it’s the best distraction/ way to pass time. I watch a variety of channels, and I’m subscribed to over 80 channels, and have about 1900 videos in my watch later list soooo :))) enjoy. No particular order but I’m doing 20 channels because 2020 (which needs to end right now). I’m going to link my favourite video of theirs as well, so you’ll have something to start with if you’re interested.

fashion and lifestyle

1. bestdressed

I already talked about her in my light content to consume while in quarantine post, but I’ll do it again. She is hands down my favourite youtuber. I had this phase where I was watching clothing hauls nonstop for some reason, and then I found Ashley’s channel. I couldn’t stop watching her videos. They’re fun, they have actual content, and she talks about stuff like how youtubers make money, and she gives the whole truth. Her fashion videos are so inspiring, I love her style, I love how she pairs things that you normally wouldn’t and her favourite word (say it with me, kids) juxtaposition of pieces that would ‘normally’ not be paired together.

She puts in so much effort into filming her videos, and even more into editing them. She doesn’t just do fashion videos, she does apartment makeovers, real talks, everything, but overall a fashion channel. I’ve seen her channel suddenly blow up and I think she had 500k or 600k subscribers when I started, and now she has 3.1 million :’) I want to raid her wardrobe for her thrifted pieces. Anyway, here’s my video pick(s) for her channel-

how to look cute when you’re out of f*cks

the ultimate guide to closet essentials

2. Yoora Jung

I wait for her videos more than any other channel, she just has the most relatable content because her days comprise of (other than her work, which is a lot) scrolling through instagram, watching youtube, snacking, rolling around in bed and procrastinating- I love her. Also her editing is on another level, all her intros are unique and fun. She can literally sit in a chair and talk about grapes for 40 minutes and I’d still watch. Also when she speaks in Korean, its the cutest thing ever.

I followed Jungkook’s workout routine for a week // getting fit with yoora season 1 ep 1

Waking up at 5 AM for a week in college    (she works really hard as you can see. I’d never have the motivation to get up at 5)

3. ohnonina

neeeeeeen < 3 Watching her videos makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Not to mention she gives a virtual hug at the end of every video :’) She does GRWM’s, k-pop, fashion, art, day in the life, studying and bullet journal videos. Everytime she hits a new 100k+ number of subscribers, she does a cooking with nina, those might be my favourite ones because she always does a korean dish. Also not really studying with nina I LOVE THOSE.

study korean with me but i actually study intensely | not really studying with nina 14

i made tteokbokki 떡볶이 (korean spicy rice cakes) | cooking with nina

4. ur mom ashley

She does fashion videos, but other content as well. She does thrift hauls, dressing out of her comfort zone type videos, and a lot of content with her siblings and boyfriend. Honestly, it’s a crackhead time when they’re around, especially her younger brother. She also makes what I eat in a day videos and I genuinely haven’t seen any other vegan person at least try to eat foods other than avocado and kale. She makes some nice recipes and eats good portions like a normal person, I really appreciate that.

what i eat in a week as a college student (vegan!!)

REVAMPING MY WARDROBE for 2020 (Princess Polly Haul)

5. Nava Rose

Firstly, I’d like to point out how much I love listening to her talk, I don’t know what it is but I love it. She has some great DIY videos, it is a DIY/ fashion haul/ hacks channel so ya. She does a lot of revamping/upcycling videos where she transforms men’s oversized clothes and makes them cute. I was very inspired by her and I did some myself! She has an amazing sense of style I wish I had some of her clothes.

50 WAYS TO STYLE DENIM | easy everyday outfit ideas!

6. Nuria Ma

She’s eighteen, lives alone some of the time and is possibly one of the hardest working people I’ve seen, juggling school and youtube. When I started watching her I think she just turned 17 and I was going mad wondering how someone could be so organized and put together at 17. She makes her own food- three meals every day, works out, studies for hours, does youtube, and what not. She’s genuinely amazing, also look how pretty she is.

KOREAN FASHION HAUL | Yesstyle

7. Erna Limdaugh

I found her channel only a few months ago, her videos are so calming and soothing to watch. She does a lot of day in the life type vlogs with her friends, morning/night routines and unboxings. She lives in Seoul that’s how I found her when I was looking for Korea content. Her fashion sense is amazing, and her cat, Yuri, is adorable *_*

A DAY IN MY LIFE – WHAT I EAT IN A DAY Life in Seoul | Erna Limdaugh

8. Jenn Im

I don’t watch her makeup and beauty videos because I don’t know much about makeup, but her vlogs, fashion, and book videos are great. I feel like she’s a wise older sister that I don’t have =p I especially love her cooking videos where she makes Korean dishes that her mom used to make. She has her own clothing line too, she does some promo videos and stuff, they’re cool.

What I Eat in a Day Easy Korean Recipes

9. Michelle Choi 최 혜림 (the seoul search)

She deserves so many more followers. Productive q u e e n. My friend and I are always discussing how the hell she can be so productive. She studies, does freelance design work, does assignments, cooks, does youtube, cleans, what is she?? Her videos make me want to be productive but instead I sit and watch more of them =)

(daily vlog) Finals Season: lots of coffee, cooking, + workspace tour!

food

10. Nino’s Home

Really yummy looking food, the babiest cat in a myriad of sweaters, and the funniest captions ever. No jokes, he’s truly hilarious. He has some really interesting recipes too, I think he takes from all over Asia, there’s a great variety of sweet and savoury.

Fried Milk Melt in Your Mouth

11. Maangchi

I legitimately call her maangchi aunty that’s how much I love her. Look how cute she is!!!!!! She has the happiest videos, they can brighten your mood in no time. Although many of her videos include meat, I still watch them so I can perhaps sub the meat for something else. She has a different headband/ head gear in every video, watch for that! I have tried three of four of her vegetarian recipes and I love them. I’ll link my favourite one, it’s become a staple at my house.

Vegetable Pancake (Yachaejeon: 야채전)

12. Pick Up Limes

Her videos are aesthetic, her recipes are easy, her voice can calm everything. It’s a vegan channel. I’m not vegan, I’m vegetarian so I can use her recipes by substituting whatever I want.

Cozy drinks to warm you up

13. Wil Yeung – Cook with Confidence

Also a vegan channel. I love his simple cooking and his style of narration. He doesn’t overdo it with the voiceover, he just says ‘medium sized pan’, ‘2 cups water’, ‘stir’. I’ve tried his gochujang and chili oil videos, they’re so good. I had to make do with what I had but still really good.

HOW TO MAKE CHILI OIL ***EASY 5 MIN RECIPE*** CHINESE HOT SAUCE

14. Zoe 조에

Her videos are so pretty to watch!! She works at her mom’s cafe so the videos are vlogs of that. They have beautiful desserts and drinks too. There’s always a montage where she shows their canning machine it’s mesmerizing xD

prettiest dessert cafe vlog on earth | Cinematography, Zoe, Blessroll (this was the first video that I watched)

Art

15. AmandaRachLee

Bullet journal videos, daily vlogs, productive days, organizing, doodling videos. I started bullet journaling in July 2018 and I follow her themes even now. I think I might have skipped two or three themes because I didn’t like them but bullet journaling is a huge part of my routine and I don’t know what I did before that. Also it makes me feel better about my stationery addiction when I watch her videos. She’s worse than me so I feel good. I love her stationery hauls.

Korea Stationery Haul! (HUGE Giveaway!)

16. cup of jasmien

The one and only art student I am subscribed to. She is SO talented, her paintings are great, but I appreciate her pen and ink pieces the most. Her videos are usually paint with me’s, a week/day of art school or travel vlogs.

before art school went online haha…

17. milkcloud

milk and cloud are two sisters xD They have painting videos, vlogs, lots of unboxings. Very nice to play in the background while doing something. Also they play k-pop piano covers for their videos.

finding joy in little things / a vlog

Books

18. BookswithEmilyFox

I watched a lot of book youtubers and she is the most honest one out there. If she hates a book she will say h a t e not put it lightly by saying it was okay. I read some of the books she recommended and I actually loved them, so I put her here because I can trust her reviews.

JANUARY BOOK HAUL 2020 + HUGE BOOKOUTLET UNBOXING! || Books with Emily Fox

Random

19. Banana Milk

This is so random but has provided me with several hours (minutes) of entertainment. She makes NCT crack videos they’re brilliant I swear. Please wait for the end of the video for the outro it’s the best part. Linked my favourite video.

Literally just NCT ruining twilight for two minutes

20. Buzzfeed Unsolved Network

Do I even have to talk about them?? I can binge their videos for hours, especially the supernatural ones. They’re freaking scary but I will watch them all. They go to real haunted places with their cool equipment (and holy water). I’ll link two of the ones that creeped me out the most.

Return To The Horrifying Winchester Mansion

3 Horrifying Cases Of Ghosts And Demons

    my favourite youtube channels (20) This is such a random post, but I watch a lot of youtube and it's the best distraction/ way to pass time.