#uphang

[glaiveprime]

14!

14) Who's a character your OC cannot stand! It's on sight when they see them!

so originally i was just gonna say it was ballas or something, but i thought about it a little more, it would. actually be his operator self

he hates that opfrey is doing so much better than him in so many ways. frey kind of suffers chronically from the typical traumatized adult pit trap that is feeling like you never matured past 16, this isn't even just void bullshit, this is fully just. frey feeling like he never grew up, despite the fact that he's physically 24 now

(read more because its getting long lol)

that combined with the fact that his 16 y/o self is quite literally still just walking around, living a better and healthier life. it pisses him off to no end, and he knows he's being unreasonable

so much of frey's complexes and uphangings have already been gotten past by opfrey. he has spent so much more time outside in the real world w/ other people.

hes had so many more guiding figures in his life to guide him and teach him that despite everything, he can allow himself to rely on people, he can allow himself to be loved and he can trust them. that he doesnt have to hiss and bite at every chance of help, he doesnt have to be survive anymore like what he had to do on the zariman, he can just live

and then theres. frey. who doesn't have any of that. as a result he sees the lotus/natah's and ordis's affection towards him as pity hand-outs, that the affection only exists because he looks/reminds them of opfrey, not actually because they see him for who he is

because well. he is opfrey. its complicated but he is, but he isnt that same, he isnt the same rough teenager they loved for so many years, hes some messy grown-up that feels like hes walking in the skin of a kid whose far more perfect than him

even when opfrey tries to reach out to him, because he's just. more emotionally mature than frey at this point. but frey just sees any and all attempts from opfrey to help as pity or some sort of cruel joke. he hates it when people's eyes gets like that whenever they look at him. especially when its from himself

frey really fucking hates it when he gets bitter like this, because it truly feels like hes retreating back to his old methods he had to use to survive back on the zariman without a deal from the indifference to protect him. he knows he's repeating a pattern of violence that had made him like this to begin with, but he cant help it.

and this is made all the worst because his brain keeps telling him to just put it behind him. be the bigger person. just be happy! and it'll all go away! but he knows that isn't the case, but what choice does he have? this is the only way his fucked up brain would allow him to act, so the next day it all repeats

he just feels so incredibly frustrated and bitter at everything that opfrey is, because that could've been him instead.

so anyways hes probably really happy about getting to leave sol for a bit to go hang out in 99, sexy man aside

[haikuandy]

haiku 20230630

no breeze todaythe dust we kick uphangs in the stopped air Like my haiku? Buy me a coffee

[fyeah-leedawon]

yeoleumboseog © Do not edit.

[visdiefje]

Being around (nice) people irl is almost healing meanwhile being in obligatory videocalls even with the best of people kills my motivation amplifies my headache and makes me feel like an aggressive animal

[fyeah-leedawon]

yeoleumboseog © Do not edit.

[fyeah-leedawon]

yeoleumboseog © Do not edit.

[fyeah-leedawon]

dain © Do not edit.

[fyeah-leedawon]

다인::多吝 © Do not edit.