#update: i went to the thing. i'm sitting at the uni thing now waiting for it to start

[airenyah]

currently crying over the lol fanfest performance of รักแรก

[benijbol]

Things Benjicot Blackwood would tweet;

A/N; Going insane waiting for uni to start so I'm taking my lack-of-a-schedule boredom out on writing stupid shit like this.

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@/BenjiNOT: "Should probably update my bio to 'professional shitposter, part-time knight, full-time pain in Crispin Cole's ass.' Thoughts?"

@/BenjiNOT: "Here’s a meme of Otto Hightower looking like he just stepped out of a crypt. Oh wait, that’s just his face."

@/BenjiNOT: "Do you know how hard it is to keep an ancient household from crumbling under the weight of a million scrolls and zero actual heirs worth a damn? One of my cousins thinks he’s a literal tree. Like… a TREANT. I wish I was kidding." @/BenjiNOT: "Keep playing in my mentions and I’ll show up to your house with a raven that won’t shut up until you apologize. Consider it an emotional support bird."

@/BenjiNOT: "I just KNOW Lord Larys has an OnlyFans but instead of feet pics it's just like, random people's deepest secrets and blackmail material. Dude’s out here monetizing dirt like it's 4D chess. We’re not the same." @/BenjiNOT: "Finally went to therapy and the therapist told me that my ‘feud complex’ isn’t normal. Imagine paying someone to tell you that the Brackens aren’t worth your mental health. Not sure I can trust the process anymore." @/BenjiNOT: "So, the next family gathering is coming up and I'm trying to figure out how to get out of it. Can I just… fake an illness? The plague maybe? Will my auntie Blackwood buy it if i tell her I've contracted "Dragonscale flu"? probably not but It’s worth a shot. Anything to avoid another 3-hour lecture from my uncle about legacy. Literally nothing makes me want to die more than hearing a man say “legacy” in a serious tone." @/BenjiNOT: "Currently sitting at the Ravenry, watching my cousin (definitely Davos) try to court an actual tree. Guess I’m the only normal one left around here. If I start knitting it’s over for all of you." @/BenjiNOT: "So I took up candle-making. Accidentally summoned a minor forest spirit instead. Long story short, I think I’m married now. To a bush. And like, I’m fine with it? Anything’s better than dealing with my family at the next feast."

Probably tweets about it five days later at 3AM being like,

@/BenjiNOT: "I’m still thinking about that tree, though. Could it work out between us? I mean, it doesn’t talk back, doesn’t care if I drag Brackens or wear my cloak wrong… Y’know, for a bush, it’s low-key perfect?"

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Bonus;

“Listen up, you utter knaves and simpletons,” he types furiously, the caps lock an angry beacon of rage. “If I see one more take about House Blackwood being ‘literally so irrelevant,’ I swear on the Old Gods, New Gods, and whatever pagan deity you’re praying to that I’ll hunt you down with a crossbow. And I’m great with a crossbow. Won archery tournaments before you were even a twinkle in your stupid House Bracken-supporting mother’s eye.”

[unlimitedgolden]

Another Important Life Update

Hey, seems like only a bit ago I was having to do one of these. Unfortunately I'm back with bad news. So, if you haven't met her already, this is Penny. She was everything to me, and today we had to put her down.

My nan and grandad got her a decade or so ago, and we all fell in love with her the day we got her. She was more than a pet though. When I was around 12-13 I was incredibly miserable, suicidal and such and there's no beating around the bush with that. Back then I didn't feel like I had anything going for me, I thought my whole family hated me and I felt like a total outcast in school. And then we went to my nan and grandads, and she was there.

She was a rescue, her old owners treated her like garbage and then she was rescued. My nan saw her online, and fell in love with her beautiful eyeliner-like pattern, so she got my grandad to drive miles to get her and she was with us ever since.

Suddenly, I had a reason to live again. When I really thought of going on ahead with things, I thought: She'd have no idea where I've gone. And I didn't want to break her little kitty heart. So I kept going. Through Secondary school, through college, and now my University.

During Uni, I'll be honest, I used to come home having panic attacks and her soft fur would soothe me. When I'd come home exhausted because my Ulcerative Colitis was kicking my backside, I'd lay on the floor with her and she'd purr me to sleep. It got a point when I'd come home, she'd most often be waiting for me to come through the door, take my coat off and we'd lay there together. Just me, and my Penny.

I knew someday I'd have to let her go, I didn't think it'd be a few months after my mums passing though. My dad texted me yesterday, told me Penny had a mass in her stomach. Cancer, great. The thing that took my mum from me too. We visited her, and I thought that was the last time I'd see her. Then I texted my grandad asking if she had passed in the night, she hadn't. But 6:30, she was set to be put to sleep. I wanted to come along, they spoke to my dad, and I got the chance to spend one more day with her.

To say I miss her is an understatement. I hope she knew how much she changed my life. She kept me alive, she kept me going long enough to learn my family didn't hate me, to learn I could keep going, to learn I was loved, to learn life was worth it. And sure, I still feel suicidal now I mean if you were in my shoes you would be too, but I want to live for her.

I wish I could hold her one last time, I can't even look at the spots she used to sit in, or laze in the sun. One day I will be able to again, but this is gonna be tough. This whole year has been nothing but tough for me. Hospital, funeral, now this. But I was with her till the end, and someday I'll see her again.

[rubyleaf]

Went through my blog again for the funsies and discovered an old, old tag game from 2016. And boy, am I shaking my head at it. Not only is 17-year-old me hilariously and stubbornly convinced she's straight, she's also very self-deprecating and generally not in a good place.

So I thought: why not answer these questions again, over seven years later, just to see how things have changed?

So here goes. The update.

MOST RECENT:

Drink: Water! I have a glass next to me right now and I'm staying nice and hydrated :) Phone call: Mom, earlier this afternoon, to make sure I'm still healthy and haven't died from acute Moved Out And Living Unsupervised Disease. Shockingly, I'm alive and well. Text: Dad, joking about the Berlin lioness boar thing. I still refuse to believe it was a boar BTW. I don't know what it was, but those pictures do NOT look like a boar.

Song you listened to: Saosin – "You're Not Alone" Time you cried: You know, I genuinely don't remember. Might've been weeks ago. I barely cry anymore these days, except from laughter or the occasional tearing up over a heartwarming scene in a show.

Dated someone twice: No, and unless the circumstances were very special, I wouldn't. If the ship has sailed, it has sailed for a reason. Been cheated on: Single, thriving, in my lane, cannot be cheated on if I don't have a partner. Peace and love on Planet Earth. Lost someone special: Lost touch with many friends over the years. Staying in touch is still hard. But honestly, some of them turned out to not be that special after all in the first place and a lot have stayed too, so really, it's fine. Been depressed: Nah. Been drunk and thrown up: Still don't like alcohol, still don't drink ✌️ Your three favourite colours: Purple! And pink, and the third one…maybe red!

IN THE LAST YEAR, HAVE YOU:

Made a new friend: So many. So so many. Fallen out of love: Yep! Laughed until you cried: Just this week alone! Met someone who changed you: I think so! Found out who your true friends are: Yes. And to the people who turned out not to be—thanks for making it easier to watch you leave right now. Found out someone’s talking about you: In the "bringing up my existence" way? Yes. Badly? No—someone probably did, but not my problem.

EXTRAS

How many people from your fb list do you know irl: What Facebook? Do you have any pets: Not at the moment. Hard to keep any in a dorm room. I'd like to maybe get a small dog someday though! Do you want to change your name: Not anymore. When I was little I used to hate my name because everyone kept misspelling or mispronouncing it, but now I like it even if people still get it wrong all the time. Sometimes it still feels weird and othering, in an irrational sort of way, but I can't imagine myself being called anything else. What did you do for your last birthday: Had drinks with some people from my orientation group in one guy's dorm apartment. Casually came out as bi over a game of Never Have I Ever. Wound up at a party even though I had an 8:30 AM class the next morning. Zero regrets. What were you doing last night at midnight? Sitting on my bed and hitting play on the brand-new Meet Me @ the Altar song that dropped last night!!! Name something you can’t wait for: MM@TA EU tour in October! I've been obsessed with them for two years and finally they come here to play some shows and the first time I saw the announcement I legit busted a lip in my excitement. Unfortunately not a hyperbole.

Last time you saw your mum: Last time I visited home—early May I think? What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: Better executive functions so I struggle less with getting stuff done, especially uni stuff and household chores. Currently trying to do something about that, actually! If I'm really lucky I might get an ADHD diagnosis in the foreseeable future and maybe meds…? What are you listening to rn: Fall Out Boy – "We Didn't Start the Fire" Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Often. It's quite a common name where I live! What’s getting on your nerves rn: One word: THESIS. Which I for some reason struggle to do anything about. Blood type: Still unknown! Nickname: Several shorter forms of my civilian name. On here, Ruby. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius Pronouns: she/her Favourite tv show: At the moment: ATLA (and Legend of Korra), Ted Lasso, Good Omens. Probably more I'm forgetting. High school: Graduated in 2016! College: In my Masters! I have an undergraduate degree in law now :D Long or short hair: Long, down to my hips. I used to have short hair as a kid, but I’ve always wanted long hair. Height: 159 cm or 5′2.5′’. Do you have a crush on someone: I try to tell myself that no, I'm just very fond of the person. Platonically. What do you like about yourself: I'm creative and adaptable! I'm good at winging it when the situation requires it, and I usually get things figured out one way or another. I'm a hype woman for my friends, and I like the way I can find joy and excitement in all corners of life. Also, not to toot my own horn but I'm really proud of my style right now! Right or left handed: Right-handed. First surgery: None. Piercing: None. First best friend: Probably Rebecca, in first grade. It’s a shame I moved away, I wonder what she’s doing now. First sport you joined: Ballet, when I was five or six. Kept doing it until early fifth grade, then changed to horseback riding. First vacation: Probably to my grandparents’ vacation home somewhere at the North Sea. Don’t remember a thing though, I was one or something.

RIGHT NOW:

Eating: Nothing. Drinking: Water, still! I’m about to: Hopefully write a bit more for the mystery project 👀 Listening to: Meet Me @ the Altar – "Give It Up"

WANT:

Kids: Yes, eventually. I'd like a stable partner first (although if push comes to shove I wouldn't mind raising my kids solo), and most importantly I'd like to be my own person for a couple of years and not be bound by duty to everyone else. Travel, explore the world and myself, get all that out of my system so I can truly go into motherhood with no regrets. Get married: Yes, if I find the right person to do it with. Career: Study law and work for the EU or an NGO.

WHICH IS BETTER:

Lips or eyes: Eyes. I don't pay much attention to lips outside of someone having a cute smile! Hugs or kisses: Kisses are nice, but I still prefer hugs! Taller or shorter: IDGAF. I still love my tall lanky noodle men, but I'm not picky. With women, even less so. Girl is taller than me? Awesome, great for being held. Shorter than me? CUTE. Older or younger: Around my age, rest doesn't matter. I'm at an age where anything between 20-30 is fair game, but any younger or older and it gets creepy. Romantic or spontaneous: A mixture of both. Nice stomach or nice arms: If the person is nice, their body will be nice too. It's an automatic process. I don't make the rules. Sensitive or loud: A combination of both! Troublemaker or hesitant: Secret third thing where they're chaotic but also too shy to really make a move.

HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: Does "someone I talked to all evening but didn't know before that and didn't meet again afterwards" count? Drank liquor: Tried a bit, same as everybody. Found it nasty. Didn't try again. Lost glasses/contacts: Don't have any to lose. (Given the way I've been treating my eyes: yet?) Had sex on the first date: I'm asexual and I refuse. Broke someone’s heart: Yes, and let's leave it at that. Turned someone down: I'm a woman existing in public. Having to turn down random men is a recurring part of my experience. Cried when someone died: Not really—I seem to shut down and go blank more than anything else. I used to feel guilty about it, but now I've learned that everyone processes grief and loss differently and it doesn't mean I care less. Fallen for a friend: Yes, repeatedly, it has yet to end well, and it will probably happen again.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN

Yourself: Mostly yes. There are some things I need help with before I can unlock my full potential, but one thing I've learned is that I always manage in the end. And once I get proper help, I have no doubt I'll be just fine. Miracles: I don't like to rely on them, but I do believe that unlikely good things can and do happen. Love at first sight: Not for myself, I need to get to know a person before I fall for them. I do believe in attraction at first sight though. Heaven: It's a nice thought, but whether or not it exists doesn't matter to me. Our task in life is the same regardless: try to be kind and treat others well and hopefully leave the world a slightly better place. Santa Claus: No, and never really have. My parents never claimed he was real; my Christmas presents always came from the family that visited on Christmas Eve. Kissing on a first date: Did it once, it was okay. I think it's one of those "take it or leave it" things—if the chemistry is right, sure, go for it, but it's definitely not for everyone in every situation.

[tjerra14]

1, 3, and 14 for the weird writer asks please?

The little blue dot I left to remind me that I still have to answer this is bothering me so I guess I won't leave this until tomorrow after all--

1 What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting? I'm eternally cursed with Office 365 because I had free access in uni and then got used to it, so I went through the list and chose the font that was the most pleasing to my eyes: Constantia. And just--it is very pleasing.

3 What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed? Make tea. Sit down on bed, open tiny tablet PC that's overwhelmed by Windows because the CPU can't take it. Boot up said PC. Despair for the first time because the screen is all black. Was there an update? Is it broken? Sometimes it takes a while, but does it always take this long? Realise you've forgotten your tea in the kitchen, acquire the tea. Return to lock screen. Log in to PC. Despair the second time because it takes another eternity until the process is complete, and also, do you want to set up Lenovo Vantage right now? You've got this device since 2018 but now we really need to finish device set-up, trust me. Try to take a sip from your tea, burn your lips: right, it's only been ten minutes since you saved it from the kitchen. Open Windows Explorer. Tab down four times, press enter. Realise you've finished that fic and need a new document altogether. PC is having another hiccup, use the time to switch back and forth between the two songs you've deemed most fitting as background soundtrack for writing (Spotify Wrapped will bully you for it, just you wait. No, I did not listen 994 times to Ed Carlsen's Cage last year because it took me five weeks to write Unfold Your Empty Space, what are you talking about). Open new document. Word insists text language is German. Set text language to English. Watch Word reset it two words in. Despair a third time because why is writing so hard. Alternatively, spend forty minutes reading all 5k words you've already got in a hushed voice "to get a feel for the fic again" as if you didn't do exactly the same thing in the morning, when you copied yesterday's edits to your main HDD. Realise you've forgotten your tea an hour in. It's cold now.

14 Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back? I doubt I've ever lent a book to someone. I did borrow one from my sister, though. It resides in my book shelf now catching dust. I really plan on reading it someday. However, life-- (She hasn't asked about it in two years, though. I wonder if she even remembers she owns that particular book.)

[chromium7sky]

The Devil wears Armani | chapter 12

A/n: I'm really sorry for the long hiatus of this au 😭. Finally got some spark about this update and I hope you guys enjoy it. Btw, guess who finally meet Raven? 😆😆

Raven finally reached her home after outing and small reunion with Karen. She remove her heels awkwardly as she yawned. It was a long night.

She tell Karen everything about what happen between her and Damian and of course minus the intimacy in his office.

-flash back-

Karen land her chin on her palm propped on the table as she listen to Raven's story. "You know, this is an interesting story though but did he knew about Melchior?"

Raven narrowed her eyes. " Why would I mention that jerk? Besides me and Damian still haven't declare about our relationship, I mean, he does flirt me back. Not to mention we did kiss..." Raven stop at the kissing part.

"Men can be complicated sometimes." She sighed as she take a bite from the cake she ordered.

"Couldn't agree more since I'm about to marry one." Karen wiggle her fingers that had betrothed ring on it.

Both designer and ex model giggled.

"I...I just hope Damian is serious about it. I'm quite invested my feeling for him." Raven chewed her lips.

"I hope so, Rachel. I hope he does." Karen smiled.

- end flashback-

Raven sighed on her bed after she change her clothes into night gown. "Gotta get some sleep because I'm going to meet him tomorrow. Should I ask again about us?"

Raven's mind wander about the golden question, her eyes start to droop as the cold night beckons her to the land of morpheus.

--------

Damian watched the E! Entertainment as he tidy up his studio to catch up any news on fashion industry then the anchorman, Josh Dirkmann said about a known designer from Europe came to town known as Melchior Draco.

"Melchior?" Damian arched his brows. Another designer in town? Maybe there's an event? And as soon as the reporter had some short interview with the silver hair gentlemen with black suit.

"So what makes you come to Gotham?" The reporter pointed the mic towards the designer.

"Well, a big company invited me to launched both of our collaboration and they said Gotham fit the aesthetic." He answered as he tug his silver hair behind his ears which earn a sneer from Damian as he watch the interview.

"Do you know Raven the designer?"

" Oh, yes. We did compete each other in Paris Fashion Show. She won first while I won second. It was a tough decision for the judges. Just so you know, between you and me, we kinda close during that time." Melchior slip out some interesting info towards the reporter.

The reporter almost gasped and demand for more answer but Melchior quickly waved away and walked towards the hotel lobby.

Damian quickly grab the remote control and closed the show.

" What do you mean close each other?" Both of his eyebrows knitted together. He closed his eyes and throw the remote at the couch. "It doesn't matter."

-------

Raven now in mess. The phone call came in nonstop just because of a statement when Melchior mention that both of them were close and the paparazzi possible sniffing out a scandal.

She sighed and landed her head on her desk. A hard knocking landed on her door makes her jolted. " Come in." As she turn her head towards the door.

Mona came in a hurry with an apologetic face. " Miss Rachel, I forgot to inform you that there will be a journalist came for your gala interview today. I'm really really sorry." Mona bow her head.

Raven stare blankly at Mona while her internal having conflict. 'First it's was Melchior statement and now interview? What...what should I do?'

Her palm start to sweat but quickly she fist up her hand. " When will be the journalist comes?"

The assistant girl check through her tablet. " In two hours."

"Who from where?"

"Jonathan Kent from Daily Planet, ma'am."

"Oh?" The same journalist who interview her winning success in fashion show. " Well, make sure escort him to my office and prepare our boarding room. Easier to execute it in there." Raven gives a stern order.

Mona nodded her head vigorously then quickly exit her room.

------------

She straighten her back as she heard a knock. She breath in. "Come in."

"Ms. Rachel!"

"Mona."

"A journalist came to meet you for Wayne's Gala interview." She gesture her hands towards a young man with curly hair and those prominent square glasses. "Mr. Jonathan Kent."

"Ah, Jonathan. Hi! It's been a while." Raven stretch her hand towards him.

Jon adjust his specs then handshake with her. "Thank you for letting me interview again , Ms. Roth." His face display his friendliness towards her.

Mona bowed her heads and quickly went out of her office. "How about we bring this interview to boarding room? More comfy?" Raven suggest about changing place.

"Yeah, you're right." Jon nodded.

Raven stood up and escort Jon to the meeting room for more proper place to interview.

She open the light switch and pull out a chair. " You can sit here."

"Ah, right, thank you." Jon smiled sheepishly as he pull the leather chair and sit, opposite with the owner of AMZ company.

" So, how long does this interview lasting?" Raven asked him as soon as she's in her seat and lean on the table with both of her hands propped on her chin.

"Well, not long, more or less 10 minutes." The journalist smile sheepishly. "Anyway..." He pull out his notebook, voice recording and a pen."Let us start with, how long you know Damian Wayne?"

"Well...since I was freshly involved in this industry, Mr Wayne offered me to promote myself at Gala." Raven calmly answer as she tried to cover Damian from being involve with fashion drawing class back in those days.

Jon then stopped the voice recording which made her jolted then adjust his specs. "You are the one who have the same class with him right?"

Raven almost gasped but she quickly act nonchalant as she tried to deny it . "Are you try to dig something from me, Mr Kent?"

"Ah, yes. Such as wanted to know more about Dami's secret girl." He smiled.

Dami? Her eyebrow arched as she heard the name. Why in the world he would address Damian that way? "You must be mistaking. We were only in term of business."

"Seriously? I thought you guys were serious." He's moping. "He did ask me about how to flirt a girl too. Man, he's really an emotional constipated." He laughed. "Besides, Dami said he haven't meet her in 3 years after he's graduated."

Raven with her eyes wide as she heard it from him. "HOW DID YOU KNOW ALL THAT?!" She quickly rised from the desk.

Jon jolted as he seen her reaction. " Ah, I guess that's why he keep a secret about his girl." Sweat drop start to rolled down on his forehead. "I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable. Let me introduce myself again."

Jon straighten his back and stretch his hand. "Hi, I'm Jonathan Kent. Dami' s childhood friend and school mate, same goes with roommate at uni and currently, a journalist." He smiled.

Raven tried to process all the information at once and it takes a few moment. "So, you are Damian's close friend?" She point out with as she narrowed her eyes.

"That's right!" Jon's smile getting wider.

"Ah, hello." She slowly put her hands on him which Jon grab it and makes a several shake as he excited to met her.

"It's really pleasure to meet you by the way! For sure if Maya and Colin knew about you they will be screaming or teasing him saying Dami has finally grown up!" He laughed.

Raven sit on her chair with unsure feeling. First the confession, then his childhood friend meet her, and then what? A wedding? She press her lips into a thin line.

"You know, Dami is not that kind of guy when it comes to women. He always thought they were hyenas." Jon chuckled.

"Hyenas?" Raven puzzled. "What's with hyenas?"

"Ever since he lives in Gotham, he always seen his father been in and out with other women who prey for money. Still, poor him having lack of parent's love." Jon sighed.

That explain why he's being hard on anyone. Raven attentively listen to Jon's story. "You know, he has pets like a zoo at his house. From cow to snakes. I remember when I came, This Alfred the cat always sulking and threaten to scratch me."

"An animal lover? That much?" Both of Raven's eyebrow jumpy as she heard it. She could imagine if Damian standing on the field, as birds will land on him, it either makes him look like Disney princess or a scarecrow.

"Most of them are animal rescue." Jon nodded.

"I see..." Then Raven suddenly remember something. "How did Damian took fashion drawing class by the way?"

"Actually we suggested to him. I mean seriously, you haven't seen his potrait and figure drawing, Those are amazing! He most likely to observe the surrounding and draw on his sketch book while on his free time."

Wait. Does that means Damian has a secret sketch book like her? Raven unconsciously put her hands on her lips.

"Still, what makes you suspect it was me? I mean we haven't contact it for a while."

"Other than he told me that he haven't met her in three years, I've seen a drawing that looks just like you at his studio." Jon smiled.

There it is.

Raven sighed and there's a slightly red tint on her ears.

"Why you haven't contact him when he's in middle east?" Jon asked curious question.

"It was because when I know that he's Damian Wayne, I..I was screwed. I mean, Wayne as in Wayne Enterprise. The biggest contributor on east side. Me? I'm just, just an orphan girl who try to rise my own feet."

"Oh?"

"My mother died when I was 14. I still don't know who were my father is and all I got is this necklace from my mother." She showed the necklace to Jon.

The young journalist seems to be fasinating with it's design. "I wonder where did your mother got this?"

Raven sighed as she try to remember. " I'm not sure. All I remember that it's been in heritage for years."

"I see." Jon rubbed his chin. "Well, Maybe you should hang up with us sometimes. I'm sure Colin and Maya would love to see you." He smiled.

"The thing is, Jon. I'm still unclear about between us." Raven chewed her lips.

"Ah nonsense, he really likes you. I can see from the way he look at you."

"Is it? Wait, where did you saw him see me?"

"I think it was two day before?"

Raven slap both of her cheeks. OH MY GOD, HE SAW BOTH OF US KISSING.

"And don't worry. I won't tell a soul, though, I've been warn by him and probably will be dig out by Colin and Maya." Jon widen his smile as sweat start to rolled down on his cheek."Dami has been my friend of more than a decade. I understand the way he express himself."

Raven nodded slowly. " Jon, a question."

"Yeah?"

"Since you are a journalist, do you know anything about Melchior?" Raven voice change to serious tone.

"That Silver Blond guy?"

"Yeah."

" I heard he's having collaboration with a big company. However, another speculation I heard that he choose Gotham because of its mysterious aesthetic."

"Well, uh, there's something I heard during interview. He claimed that we were close during the fashion show competition."

Raven as stared at the desk.

"Been wondering myself too. Are you close to him?" Jon's curious eyes start to lit.

"We do only for a while but the thing is he stole my design during that time which I never forgive myself for letting me get fooled by him." Raven sighed then she looked at Jon. "Wait. Don't tell me you're going to put this on paper?"

"Wait, I get it." Jon again propped his hand on his chin. "No wonder I've seen familiarity design between both of you. Plus you're having a hard time too."

"Uh, Jon?"

"I think I found something to investigate." Jon's mischievous smiles start to paint on his face.

"Now you act like Damian."

"Damian is more hardcore. I'm still on the average level." Jon beamed his happy face on her.

"Well, I think our interview stopped here. Besides, I need to cover some story from Me Wayne itself about the gala."

"Dami?"

"Yep."

"So, nice to meet you, Ms. Rachel Roth. It's been a pleasure talking to you."

"It's been a pleasure to spill tea with you." Raven smug.

Jon blinked then put on his mischievous smile.

-------

Somewhere in his office, Damian sneezed for no reason. " Is it me or is this office are getting colder?" He looked at the air ventilation.

[heyyyharry]

Chapter 1: Blast from the Past

(from the My Girl Trilogy: Stay Mine)

…in which the ghosts from their past come knocking on their doors.

Word count: 6.5k

AU: actor!Harry, older!Harry, younger!Y/N, (4-year age gap).

Wattpad link

I wrote this chapter before Eroda/Adore You came out so the goldfish thing was totally a coincidence lmao.

.

.

.

When Harry was six, he had a goldfish.

He'd asked for a dog for his birthday, but his mother didn't think he was responsible enough to take care of a dog, so she bought him a fish instead. Despite not being as cool as a puppy, the goldfish was actually a great companion, and Harry loved him a lot. He called him Mr. Finny.

Mr. Finny died a week after coming home. It took Harry a month to get over Mr. Finny's death for it was his first experience of losing something that meant a lot to him.

He was too little when his father went away. He was four, and his sister was six — the same age as him when he lost Mr. Finny. So he guessed it had been rough for both his mum and Gemma to deal with such a big loss. He'd had nightmares for a whole week after losing his goldfish, imagine losing a person.

Losing things were easier because things couldn't walk away from you and if you couldn't find them, you could just replace them with something new and better. With people, you couldn't do that. Once you'd lost them, you could lose them forever. Just like goldfishes, even if Harry had found another one that looked exactly the same, it just wasn't Mr. Finny.

Ruby was his second experience of loss which had taken a heavy toll on him. He had lost a part of himself when he lost her. But then he found a better piece to fill that empty space when he returned to Holmes Chapel for Y/N's mother's funeral. They had both lost someone they loved, but they found each other, and now they were exactly where they wanted to be.

They had spent the last month of the summer travelling around Europe after attending Niall's concert in Italy and a friend's movie premiere in Paris. Y/N had only agreed to go because she couldn't say no to Paris, but she was genuinely happy during the trip, which made him happy too.

That was only until summer was over.

There was no perfect timing for finding out your loved one had passed away, but it certainly shouldn't have been at the airport just five minutes after he'd landed in London. It was Gemma who called and broke the news to him. She said their mother was devastated and they needed him to come home, so he immediately called his chauffeur to pick him up at the airport, and of course, Y/N wouldn't let him go alone.

Harry wasn't very close to his stepdad, but he loved the guy because he'd made his mother happy. Now she cried herself to sleep every night like she used to when Harry's father left. Harry had never thought he'd see her like that again, but he guessed it had taught him something new about loss.

Mr. Finny died because Harry had overfed him. He lost Ruby the same way, by loving her too much. When he tried not to love someone more than they loved him, he ended up losing his Bambi. Then there was his mum and his stepdad, who'd had a beautiful and healthy marriage, until death stepped in and took him away. Loss had no expiration date, people did. And no matter how old you were or how hard you tried, you would keep losing people anyway.

.

.

.

"Harry, wake up! Wake up!"

The first thing Harry saw when he opened his eyes was two bright eyes staring right back at him. He blinked fast, trying to get a grip on reality when he felt his girlfriend snuggle her face into his neck.

"You're safe, baby. I'm here," she said as he pulled her closer.

It was the third time that week Harry had had a nightmare. The first time was when he'd just got back to London after the funeral. The second time was just two nights ago.

"Is it the same dream?" Y/N asked. She seemed very concerned, so he gave her a smile and pressed his lips against her forehead.

"You didn't even leave a note this time," he said. "I came to your place and someone else was living there."

"No wonder you kept asking, 'where is she?' in your sleep." His girlfriend chuckled as she combed her fingers through his unruly hair. He loved it when she did that, it always calmed him down.

"I'm sorry I woke you up," he said with a pouty face.

"Nah, woke up a long time ago. I was watching you sleep."

"Creepy."

"Shut up. You love me."

"I do." Harry grinned as she got on top, straddling his waist and holding his face between her palms.

"You know, you can talk to me about anything that's bothering you, no matter how trivial you think it is."

"I know." He nodded. "I've been stressed out lately, that's all."

Y/N didn't seem to believe him but she knew him too well to continue asking questions. She leaned down, her lips brushing against his and her hand going from his chest, down to his belly button, and under the covers. His soft gasp turned into a moan, making her smile devilishly.

"Let me help you relax, yeah?" she whispered into his mouth, tasting every sound he made while pumping him agonisingly slow. "God, you're so hard. Is this for me?"

"Fuck, Bambi."

"Say you're hard for me."

"I'm—I'm hard for you."

"Hmm," she hummed and bit lightly onto his bottom lip. "It's so big in my hand, always makes me feel so full. God, I want your big cock in my tight—"

"Move in with me."

If a four-word sentence could instantly kill the mood, that would be it.

"What?" Y/N's face was almost paralyzed when she pulled away.

Harry had blurted out many things he shouldn't have said during sex with other people, like those couple of times he had called out her name instead of whoever he was with. But never had he been more embarrassed than this moment right now.

Cheeks turning red, the man sat up with his back resting against the headboard. His girlfriend was kneeling in front of him with her hands on her knees and waiting for him to break the silence.

"I'm sorry, I—I didn't...didn't mean that."

"You didn't?"

"Well, no. I mean...yeah, I did, but I—"

What the fuck are you rambling on about, Styles?

"I-I do want that. I want you to move in with me," he blurted with his eyes squeezed shut and when he finally opened them, she was staring at her hands, not at him anymore. He knew that question had come out at the worst moment, but he hadn't expected her reaction to be like this.

"You—you want me to live here?" She raised both eyebrows, pointing down. "In this house?"

"Yeah. I mean, you're basically living here now. It's not like anything has to change."

"It changes a lot, H. I love my flat and I...well, I just—You know..." Now it was her turn to stutter. "I mean, are you...sure this is what you want? We've only been together for three months."

"We've known each other for twelve years, Bambi."

"Still..."

It wasn't exactly an answer, but he had a feeling that it was. To say the least, he was disappointed.

"Look, it's okay. Let's just...just forget I ever asked. I'm sorry for making this weird."

"No, no! I—"

When she paused, he guessed she was trying to come up with a reasonable explanation for how she'd reacted, not an answer. But after a moment, she glanced back up and told him, "can I have more time to think?"

"Of course." He nodded quickly. "Take as much time as you need."

So that was a maybe, he assumed. A maybe was still better than a no, even though most of the time when someone said maybe, they actually meant to say no.

"You know I love you, right?" she spoke after a quiet moment. "Because I do. A lot. It's just—"

Before she could finish the sentence, he smashed his lips against hers. She tend to ramble when she got nervous or excited and that was the fastest and most effective way to shut her up. She called him rude for it but never seemed to mind.

Slowly, Harry pulled away, letting his lips brush hers. He loved the way she was gazing at him with hooded eyes and their foreheads against each other. He clasped his hands on either side of her face and whispered slowly, "I'll wait for your answer. Whatever it is, I'll love you anyway "

Y/N’s reply was only a hurried nod as she pulled him in and kissed him again.

They stopped the discussion there and went on with their usual morning routines: sex, shower, sex in the shower, breakfast, then him dropping her off at campus, and them sitting in the car for five minutes straight because she was too nervous to go on her own.

Normal people returned to uni after the summer with a new haircut or a new nose, not a new millionaire boyfriend who just happened to be a famous actor. Y/N kept telling herself she would eventually get used to it, but everyday passed by and she kept wondering when that would be.

"Want me to hold your hand?" Harry asked when he noticed the way she was pinching her thighs, and without waiting for an answer, interlocked his fingers with hers.

When they were little, she used to ask him to hold her hand as they walked to school on the day of an exam. Exams made her anxious, and even though holding his hand didn't solve that problem, it did temporarily put her at ease. Now, everyday felt like exam day...

"Want me to walk you to class too?" he joked, smirking as she gave his shoulder a nudge. "Well, if you don't feel like going to class today, maybe we could just go home and have more sex."

Giggling, she booped his nose. "You're cute. But I think I'm gonna man up and get out of this car."

"That's my girl. Keep me updated?"

"Sure, baby. Have fun at the photoshoot."

Harry kissed the back of Y/N's hand when she opened the door, but he didn't let her go right away.

"Hey! You forgot something!" He pointed to his lips, pouting like a little boy.

"You're like my mum!" she grumbled before kissing him quickly. "Bye, mum!"

"Bye, sweetie! Be good in school!"

Y/N waved her boyfriend goodbye for the last time and walked straight ahead, ignoring all these strangers' eyes on her. It was insane how just a few months ago she was a nobody on this campus. She could have worn her pyjamas to lectures and nobody would've cared. But now she couldn't even leave home without having to make sure her outfit that day wouldn't get her trending on Twitter. To be honest, it was nice how he loved showing her off to the world and was proud of having her as a girlfriend. She really hoped their relationship would be considered normal once she'd become a famous writer. Well, if she became a famous writer.

"Another agent rejected me today!"

"Good morning to you too, Y/N!" Alice giggled as Y/N took a seat in front of her at the library desk. "Did they give you feedback this time?"

"Nope. Just 'wish you the best of luck in the future'. That was all they could come up with and they had the nerve to say no to my book!" Y/N breathed angrily and turned to see Alice raising an eyebrow at her. "Sorry. I got a bit riled up."

"Really? I couldn't tell."

Y/N chuckled as she jokingly flipped her friend off. "Anyway, I know I'm supposed to get used to rejection because JK Rowling also got rejected twelve times before becoming the JK Rowling but—"

"Y/N, Y/N," Alice cut her off and reached out to hold her hand. "Your book is great! I'm sure you'll find an agent who appreciates your talent. If not, you can always ask Harry to hook you up with someone."

"Taking advantage of my boyfriend's name and connections would be the last thing I would want to do, thank you," Y/N said while kneading her temples, making Alice laugh.

"It's only the third time you've been rejected. Relax!"

Relax.

Y/N didn't know how to do that anymore.

It wasn't just her book. It was also Harry, their relationship, and her newfound 'fame'. Maybe people didn't want to work with her because of what they'd heard. Maybe they were afraid that she'd be known as Harry Styles' girlfriend and not for her writing. Or maybe her book just wasn't good enough. Either way, it sucked.

But those things were just minor problems at the moment. Alice must have thought they were driving her crazy, but the truth was, she was so stressed out about her boyfriend's question that even the tiniest problem could trigger her. She wished she could've just said yes. In fact, she had almost said yes. After all, he had a good point. It wouldn't make a big difference because they were practically living together now. Still, there was something so scary about moving in with someone you'd only been dating for three months.

If something happened and you two broke up, you wouldn't have a place to go back, physically and emotionally, which was why she never wanted to rely on him. She needed to make sure that she could still get back up on her own if something went wrong. Y/N just didn't know how to explain that without making it sound like she was sceptical about their relationship. She had never been more sure about anything else. But then again, nobody could predict the future. And seeing how fragile he was after losing his stepfather, she didn't think it'd be a good idea to have this conversation now.

"Hi!"

The high-pitched voice pulled Y/N back to reality. She and Alice both looked up and saw a brunette with the kind of smile that they would put on the university's brochures. Without waiting for Y/N to figure out if they'd met before, the girl extended her hand and said enthusiastically, "my name is Mandy and um...I'm a big fan of Harry...your boyfriend. Nice to meet you!"

"Oh, okay...Hi.” Y/N smiled awkwardly as she shook the girl's hand. Meanwhile, Alice was trying her best not to crack up.

Mandy happily went on, "there's a new club opening tonight and I'm going there with my friends for a girls' night. So if you're interested, you should totally come with us."

"I appreciate that you asked but—"

"We'll be there for sure!"

Y/N's jaw dropped when Alice gave her an unapologetic grin after taking the offer on her behalf. Mandy, however, seemed overjoyed. "Great!" She clasped both hands together. "I'll send you the address on Instagram. My friends will be so happy to meet you."

The girl left as quickly as she'd arrived, but Y/N was still sitting there and staring at Alice with her mouth agape. It took her a moment to speak, "no! I won't be there! Are you insane? This is a trap!"

"Y/N, don't be crazy."

"They want me to come so they can pull some shit and embarrass me!"

"Or..." Alice lifted her shoulders, "they just hope you'll bring your celebrity boyfriend. If he can't make it, they still get to hang out with his girlfriend. It's a win-win situation."

Sucking in a breath, Y/N blew out her cheeks and ran her hands over her face.

"It's been hard, isn't it?" Alice asked.

"So fucking hard!"

"Don't worry, big sis. I'll be your bodyguard tonight."

Y/N rested her head on one hand while Alice was holding her other. It didn't feel as good as when Harry did it, but it'd do for tonight. She hoped so.

Before the drama last year, her life used to revolve around partying, drinking, and writing. Now she spent most of her time on her own or with Harry, and as much as she enjoyed this new lifestyle, she still missed the good old days.

Thanks to Alice's motivational talks, she had gained enough confidence to let herself be excited for tonight. She had put on makeup and a cute outfit and even curled her hair. She was ready to have fun. But all that excitement only lasted until she arrived at the club.

"Is that Harry Styles' girlfriend?" someone said as soon as she walked in.

People were staring at her like she'd shown up in her sleeping gown, but she turned a blind eye to them all and followed her new friends to the bar. It might take more than a couple of drinks for her to relax.

Alice, on the other hand, was really enjoying the atmosphere and bobbing her head to the loud rock song she normally wouldn't listen to.

"What's with the long face? Have some fun, sis!" she told Y/N, who responded with a snort and a side-eyed look. She was just about to say something to justify her being awkward when a guy and a girl walked up to her and Alice and asked if they could have a picture with her. That had never happened before so Y/N could only smile as the guy handed Alice his phone.

"Right, I'm not dating an actor," Alice mumbled, rolling her eyes.

Y/N managed to contain herself until the strangers left and then started bouncing like a little girl. "I'm famous for no reason, Al! I feel like a Kardashian, but in a good way."

"I told you it wouldn't be so bad, didn't I? Come on, let's dance!"

Alice grabbed Y/N by the arm and dragged her to the dance floor. It was only then that Y/N allowed her body to move freely to the music. She loved the quiet life, but she relished the crazy fun times like this when there was no distraction and intrusion. Tonight she would be that main character in a rom-com, just having fun with her friends and not giving a fuck about anything else.

But then, she saw him.

Like a ghost, he disappeared and reappeared every time the light flicked from red to blue. Or maybe it was really a ghost that she'd seen. The thing about ghosts was that they weren't always the spirits of the dead, they could also be memories and people you had lost as you grew up, and sometimes those were the things that haunted you forever.

"Blake..." the name slipped out of her mouth as she watched the man say something to his friends and make his way to the nearest exit.

Her entire body went stiff. The music was muffled as the buzzing in her ears became louder and louder. She'd had only one drink, she couldn't have been so drunk that she started seeing things that didn't exist. That could've been someone who looked like him. Someone with the exact crooked smile, black hair, and pale eyes. She told herself that only to push her way through the crowd and go after the man.

Just like Alice in Wonderland, she knew she shouldn't have followed the white rabbit, but she was too curious to let him go. What if it really was Blake? Then what? What would she do?

Before she could process those thoughts, a person bumped right into her at the door and almost knocked her over.

"Watch where you're going!" she snapped at them, but then her eyes were wide with shock. "Isaac?"

"Smiley!" Isaac exclaimed, looking more uneasy than happy to see her. "What...what are you doing here?"

"Girls' night out." She pointed to Alice and the girls. "What about you?"

"Oh, I'm here...um..with a friend. Are you in a hurry?"

Y/N glanced back to the exit, staring longingly for a moment and then heaved a sigh. "No, I thought I saw someone I knew, but...never mind. What's happening with you?" she changed the subject. "I haven't seen or heard from you since the funeral. Harry is having dinner with Niall tonight, I thought you were with them."

"Well, Niall asked me to come but I've got plans," Isaac said, staring at the drink in his hand.

She found it odd that they hadn't made eye contact for more than a second, but she didn't want to think too much about it right now.

"About the funeral..." he trailed off. "How's H?"

"Where do I even start?"

"It's that bad?"

"Well, he keeps saying he's fine but I don't think he is," she breathed. "His mother is heartbroken and he cannot stay with her because he still has to go to work."

"That's awful..."

"Yeah, he's been worrying too much about Anne that he doesn't give himself time to grieve."

Isaac didn't respond as he threw his head back and gulped the rest of his drink. He seemed nervous and distracted tonight, which was nothing like him. Was there something about this club that got people acting strange?

"So where's your friend?" Y/N changed the subject again to help him loosen up, but if anything, it only made him tenser.

"My friend?" He cleared his throat. "Yeah, about that, I—"

"Y/N?"

Y/N turned around when she heard her name, and in front of her was a girl, brunette and petite. She skipped the introduction and jumped right in for a hug and Y/N's first instinct was to shove her away.

"What the fuck? Who the fuck are you?!"

"My name is Emilia," the girl said abruptly. "Emilia Styles..."

"Is this some kind of joke?" Y/N snorted and squinted her eyes at Isaac, but Emilia didn't give the man a chance to think of a response.

"I thought you said she knew! Were you lying to me?"

"Please let me explain! Emi!"

"What the fuck?!" Y/N caught his wrist before he could run after the girl. "How about you explain to me what just happened!"

"Look, Smiley. I gotta—"

"No!" She gritted her teeth, her grip only tightened. "You're not going anywhere until I have my answer! Did she say her name was Styles?!"

Isaac tossed his head back and took a deep breath while Y/N was patiently waiting for his explanation. He was stuttering again. It'd all he'd been doing tonight and she'd thought it was weird at first, but now it was really getting on her nerves.

"She's Harry's half-sister," he finally said. And Y/N stilled for a second.

"Harry doesn't have a—" Then, it hit her. "Oh, fuck..."

"Yeah..." Isaac gave a nod when her fingers loosened around his wrist and she eventually let him go.

"Does Harry know?"

"No." He shook his head. "I met her in a cafe two months ago."

"Have you met...him?"

The man swallowed and slowly shook his head again. "But he...um...he knows about me and that I'm friends with Harry."

"So let me get this straight." Y/N took a few steps backwards until she was standing against the wall. "You've known this girl for two months and you haven't said anything to us?"

"I couldn't. You two were in Europe and then there was the funeral. I didn't want to break this news to Harry when he'd just lost his stepfather!"

"Then why did you tell Emilia that I knew about her?!"

"I fucked up, okay?!" Isaac buried his face into his palms, his head hung low. Y/N had never seen him like this before. He was supposed to be the one who kept people calm no matter how bad the situation was. He was Isaac. The Isaac she knew never freaked out!

"She was very eager to meet Harry," Isaac uttered as he tugged at his hair and ignored the look of doubt she was giving him. "She asked me to introduce her to you both but—"

"But you knew Harry wouldn't want to meet her, and you didn't want to let her down, so you lied."

That wasn't even a question because it was the answer. And honestly, Y/N didn't know how to feel about this. Disappointed? Maybe. Worried? Yes. Probably scared too. There was no way Harry could take this news better than she had.

"You're telling him tomorrow."

"What?"

"You heard me." She crossed her arms. "You're only making it worse by keeping a secret from him."

"Didn't you just say he was going through a lot?"

"Yes. That's why you can't let him find out the truth by himself, he has to hear it from you."

Isaac opened his mouth to argue, but he came up with nothing because she was right. There was no excuse for him to continue keeping this a secret.

"I will," he said at last and she finally let go of that sigh of relief. "But please don't say anything to him. I'll talk to him first thing in the morning."

"Alright." Y/N bowed her head. So much for a fun night, she told herself.

.

.

.

"Stop checking your phone, Harold!"

"Sorry, I just—"

"Put it away!" Niall said as he reached across the table and turned off Harry's screen. "I didn't take you out to dinner so you could stare at the screen all night. Were you even listening to what I was saying?"

"Yes, you were telling me about your ex, Beth."

"Jess."

"Yeah, her." Harry shrugged and drank down the last of his wine.

"Who were you texting?" Niall gestured at his phone, raising an eyebrow. "Was it Y/N?"

"No, she's out with her friends. I'm waiting for her to text me back."

"Chill out, mum." The singer chortled as he leaned back in his chair. "You remind me of my high school girlfriend who didn't give me space."

"I'm not clingy!"

"Didn't say you were. You said it yourself."

Harry rolled his eyes at his best friend's snarky remark but then went on anyway, "I'm just afraid she's mad at me or something."

"Why? What happened?"

"This might be embarrassing but," he said with a pause, "I asked her to move in with me...right when we were about to have sex."

"Are you serious?"

"Yeah...It's dumb. I know."

"Fuck yeah it's dumb!" Niall slammed his hand on the table and three other people turned to look at him but he didn't care. "Well? What did she say?"

"She said she'd think about it, but I might have scared her a little."

"Or maybe you're just overthinking." Niall calmly adjusted his napkin and poured himself another glass of wine. "Being angry about something so insignificant just doesn't sound like Y/N to me. I think you should ask her how she really feels."

Harry put down his phone at last, his eyebrows furrowed. "Should I?"

"Why not? I know this whole serious relationship thing is new to you but communication is key. I mean, just look at me and Jess."

"You were together for a week and I haven't even met her."

"Exactly! That's why you don't wanna end up like us, Harold."

For almost seven years they'd been friends, that was the first time Niall had given him good relationship advice. So Harry decided to listen to the man and stop by his girlfriend's place after dinner.

He left her a text to let her know he was coming, but she probably didn't bother to check her phone. Why couldn't she be one of those people who couldn't live without their phones? He loved that about her, but her missing his texts and calls constantly could be frustrating.

Harry was out of breath when he climbed five floors to get to his girlfriend's flat. It'd been over a year, and the lift was still broken. How could she do this everyday? If he was her, he would've moved out as soon as he could; but he didn't come tonight to tell her that, of course.

Before Harry could ring the doorbell, his phone buzzed with two new messages.

⌲ Grumpy Little Deer: I'm almost home.

⌲ Grumpy Little Deer: You won't believe who I saw at the club.

He was just about to ask who it was, but then he heard footsteps going up the stairs.

Y/N appeared with a weary smile and immediately went in for a long passionate kiss. She smelled like alcohol mixing with the sweet scent of perfume that he loved, and he almost whined when she pulled away.

"What's that?" she asked, staring at the paper bag in his hand.

"Oh, right." He smacked his forehead, chuckling. "I thought you might be hungry, so I bought you noodles from your favourite Chinese restaurant."

"Aww, yes! I'm really hungry," she said and kissed him on the cheek. "I swear I've gained a lot of weight since we started dating."

"Your perfect boyfriend puts all your exes to shame, doesn't he?" Harry popped his dimples at his own joke, but she said nothing and only smiled in return.

"So, earlier at the club—"

"Wait!" He grabbed her hand. "Before you tell the story, can I say something first? It's kind of important."

"Oh, okay, s-sure." Y/N nodded, looking a bit worried and puzzled as he sucked in a shaky breath.

"I want to..um...apologise for this morning. I think I came off as a bit too pushy when I asked you to move in with me. You're not ready yet, and it's fine if you want to say no. Just know that I would never pressure you into doing anything you're not comfortable with. And if you think I'm being too clingy, you can tell me anytime."

"What are you talking about? You're not clingy." The girl squinted her eyes as she cupped his cheeks. "Baby, you're not. I love being around you."

"Really?" Harry said under his breath, his lips curved into a bashful smile.

"Absolutely!" She scoffed. "So don't you ever say that again or I'll—"

Without letting her finish, he pulled her closer to a full-body contact and buried his face into the crook of her neck, freezing her to the spot. His strong grip had told her everything he didn't want to say, and the story that'd been on her mind since she left the club had gone out of the window.

After a quiet moment, he pulled away and another smile appeared. "Who did you see at the club?" he asked.

Y/N's brain started screaming 'Blake, Blake, Blake' as her lips parted and she began to stutter, but what came out of her mouth wasn't that name.

It was, "your half-sister."

Watching his smile slip slowly, she wished she could just take back those words. She was supposed to tell him she'd seen Blake, or at least someone who looked like Blake, and nearly had a heart attack on the dance floor. But she had chickened out and ended up breaking the promise to Isaac. She had never felt shittier.

"H-How?" was all he said, his trembling fingers were withdrawn from her face.

"I ran into Isaac," she admitted. "He was with this girl...Her name was Emilia. He said she was your half-sister..."

Harry's face twisted before slowly turning blank. Y/N felt her heart pounding in her chest as she started second-guessing what his next move would be. She expected him to say something. Anything. But then he shoved the paper bag in her hand and stormed off, leaving her no choice but to chase him down the stairs.

.

.

.

"Okay, where the fuck is she?!"

"Harry!" Y/N shouted when her boyfriend shoved Isaac aside and charged into his living room. She stood at the door, pale with fright, and the regretful look in her big eyes had told Isaac everything he needed to know.

He clenched his jaw, staring her down in disbelief. "You fucking told him?"

"I—"

"Do not speak to her that way!"

"You need to calm down, mate," Isaac told Harry as Y/N rushed forward to stand between them, pushing them apart.

"Calm down?" Harry laughed bitterly. "You don't get to tell me to calm down, mate."

"Baby, please, don't—"

"And don't fucking raise your voice at my girl. She told me the truth, which you've been keeping from me for two fucking months!"

Isaac stayed quiet, only giving Y/N one last glance before turning away. She knew what that look meant. If she was Isaac, she wouldn't forgive herself either.

"Why...why don't we all sit down and...and talk about this?" she stuttered, one hand holding her boyfriend's shoulder, the other pressing against his chest, but neither of the men paid attention to her now.

"Why did she come to you?"

"She didn't come to me. I met her by accident." Isaac drew in a long breath. "It's a long story, so please calm down and then we'll talk."

As Harry leaned on Y/N for support, Isaac leaned against the door. Once the silence had filled up the room, Isaac was the first to speak.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier...All of this is my fault. But Emilia didn't lie about who she was, H. She's shown me photos of her parents."

"So you haven't met him?" Harry glanced back up to meet his best friend's gaze. "That man."

"No." Isaac rubbed the back of his neck. "But Emilia told him about you and he wanted to see you."

"Bullshit." Harry exhaled a laugh as he looked away, his lips drew back in a snarl. "That fucking asshole could've 'wanted to see me' twenty years ago, but guess what?"

"I know you're mad at him—"

"No, not at all!" Harry chimed in, interrupting Isaac. "You can only be mad at the people you care about. And I don't want to have anything to do with that man or his family."

"Emilia did nothing wrong. If you would at least talk to her—"

"I don't fucking care. Tell this Emilia girl I don't want to see her and I don't want her to bother the people I love."

Isaac tossed his head back and inhaled deeply when Harry stormed out of the room, but Y/N was still standing there, tugging at her earlobe.

"I'm so sorry, I—"

"Please leave," he cut her off, putting his head in his hands.

"No, you don't get it. I didn't tell him on purpose!"

"Y/N." The way he said her name made her shiver. "Just leave."

Y/N clenched her fists as her shoulders slumped. He didn't even look at her when he called her by her name, not Smiley, so she guessed she should go. Enough damage had already been done tonight.

She left his house with her head hung, and he slammed the door right behind her. She deserved that. But Harry didn't. Now he was sitting in his car with his forehead on the steering wheel and didn't even flinch when she got in and shut the door. So she sat there for almost a minute, just pinching her thighs, not knowing how to start.

"I'm so sorry," he spoke, at last, his voice was shaking as he lifted his head to look at her. "I don't want to get angry and raise my voice when you're around. Like...like that night in the hospital."

"But you weren't yelling at me."

"Still, I shouldn't have yelled. Whenever I yell, I lose someone I care about," he whispered, twisting the silver signet ring she'd given him on his birthday. "Do you think I'm a bad person for not wanting to see that girl?"

"Of course not." She took his hand away from the ring and placed it on her thigh. "The only bad person here is your dad. And you shouldn't let his mistake many years ago make you feel like this is your fault."

With a gentle smile, Harry reached out his hand to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. He looked into her eyes, thinking for a bit. "You know, I used to wish he would come back one day. I believed that would fix everything and our family would be happy again. But as I grew up, I realised some people left for a reason. And most of the time, it was the same reason they should never return. I-I just...What if he tries to get back in touch with my mum? I don't want him to ruin everything, Bambi...Not again."

"He won't. We won't let him." She held his neck and stroked his cheek with her thumb. "I'm sure Isaac will respect your decision and ask the girl and her father to stay away. Everything will be fine."

Neither of them knew for sure what could happen next, but hearing it from her put him at ease. Pressing her lips against his, Y/N gave him a reassuring smile. "Want me to hold your hand?"

"Yes, please," he said, making her chuckle as their fingers intertwined.

.

.

.

"You're not coming up?"

"No, thank you.” Harry put on a grin as he watched his Bambi unbuckle her seatbelt and open the door. "I think it's better if I spend some time on my own."

"See? You wouldn't get this option if we lived together," she said and snorted when he raised an eyebrow. "Too soon?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry." Beaming, she folded him in her arms and gave him a chaste kiss. "Goodnight, baby. I'll call you tomorrow."

"Bambi, wait."

Harry quickly rolled down the window as she turned back, putting one hand on the top of his car.

"I forgot to ask you if you had fun with your new friends."

"Oh, yeah..." She tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, smiling at her feet. "They were nice. And some random people asked for a photo with me!"

"Ooh, you're famous for no reason now, like the Kardashians, but in a good way."

"Exactly!"

The way her nose crinkled when she laughed never failed to make his heart jumpy.

"Goodnight, kid. I love you."

"I love you more," Y/N said before they shared one last kiss. And she stood there, waving goodbye until his car was gone.

It was 2 AM. Y/N felt like her legs were falling apart as she climbed all those stairs up to the fifth floor. After a whole year of filing complaints about the broken lift in this building, she had come to terms with the fact that they would never have it fixed. She could either suffer once in a while, or move in with Harry and never have to suffer again.

That should be added to the pros and cons list of living alone and moving in her boyfriend. She would make that list later, now she couldn't wait to fall into bed and sleep until noon.

Boyfriend: 1

Y/N: 0

Caught up in her random thoughts, Y/N almost didn't notice the empty boxes in the hallway. It seemed like someone had finally moved into the flat in front of hers, but honestly, she didn't care. She'd never talked to her old neighbours anyway, so it wouldn't matter if she didn't say hello to her new one.

The girl was digging through her bag to look for the key when she heard footsteps on the stairs. They stopped right behind her, then a familiar voice that she wished she hadn't recognised froze her to the spot.

"Y/N?"

[phantommoonpeople]

Time to cry

Ok so I love love Sims!!

And I am just paying for 20ish for a new pack

And I was so exited and them when about to play it around 11 at night I get a pop up

" must get a legacy or something and another because of out dated software"

...and I'm like.....

I had this computer for less than a year....

It's new

And like?????? Outdated??????????

And so I go and get this legacy pack

And guess what

I don't have any God damn room!!! On my " outdated" computer?????? And im just sitting here after waiting two hours for it to finally tell me I don't have anymore room for it?

So I sat there uninstalled Sims and just tried getting the legacy pack which in my mind makes sense right? Like just have two different versions of the same game right? For " outdated " software....

But nope so I waited a while and went back to check on my God damn game

Please note I'm a big sims player

I have spent money getting the game and around 40ish dollars getting a few packs and happily know the legacy pack for " outdated software is free" and thus us why I'm upset... It's not that this is a bad game because yes progress happens but like...

I went back and nope you have to have the sims 4 + the legacy pack which doesn't leave room for another packs.

I finally got the new ish wichy one and i was so exited to play but lol nope my " outdated software" isn't compatible so now I shall somehow save up a lot of money on a computer which I don't need a new computer.

But I got to anyway.

Because of stupid sims, " outdated software" and God damnit I paid for this game i will play it.

And yes I stayed up way later than intened trying ( and failing) to figure this out and it's just so stupid....

Edited : and yes I do have a bigger hard drive on my computer because I'm supposed to use it for school but most of the time I use my tablet?

But like I was looking this up more and even people with 64 bit drive ( I hope I'm making sense it's late and I am tired ) are having issue with "" not enough space "" even when they have plenty. Another issue was players pre ordering and being really happy about the collage/ uni pack that just came out only to realize... They...like just can't play it.... At all.... Because of this update.....

So yes I am happy with all the new free things that they gave us!! But like I wish I could play it....