#until i've written something as beautiful as this i cannot live my life in peace

[bedforddanes75]

preacher's daughter deserves more praise than it's gotten

[rollercoasterwords]

i was just rereading the last chapter of the hand that feeds - as i often do when i need to feel like a knife is digging in my chest and i need to some absolutely scrumptious gut-wrenching angst - and OH MY GODDD!!! i forget how fucking good that ending is and then i reread it and im telling you - literal goosebumps!!! the first section ending with 'This is a story about war.' i literally get chills everytime i read that!!! and the final few lines:

'A butterfly lands in the palm of her hand. She watches it flap its wings once, twice—and then it flies away.

Here is a secret.

Are you listening?

This is a story, and a story is not its end.'

my god reading this part after the emotional turmoil of the previous chapters is literally an out-of-body metaphysical experience. i feel like im dying!!! i love it!!!! :)))))

anyway it just sums up the fic so well and feels like such a thematic like thesis?? it just so perfectly presents such a compelling outlook on life and what defines its meaning and true value. like what makes a tragedy isn't its violent ends or its hateful and tense moments!! its the love and the family and the joy that truly make their lives a tragedy!!! and i love how you so beautifully execute that!!

anyway im getting serious brainrot right now, so i really just had to rant!!! now i have to reread!! kicking my feet and giggling for the angst!!!! <3

AHHHHH screaming u literally Get It. like...YES the ending to thtf is truly so special to me and one of my favorite things i've ever written. gonna use ur brainrot as license to ramble lol SPOILERS obviously

ok so the thing about the ending of thtf is that it is not at all what i originally had planned! like, i don't think it was until i was maybe...halfway? or like two thirds done with the fic that i just sort of had a moment where i was like NO i cannot end it this way it doesn't feel correct...and then i had like a eureka moment where everything fell into place and that last line appeared fully formed in my mind TRULY it was spine-shattering

so like. ok. when i started writing the fic i KNEW that i was not going to do any kind of afterlife epilogue, just because...well personally i was raised to believe in heaven and hell and center my life around that, and i lost that faith as i grew older, and now the idea of an afterlife just. is not something joyful or happy to me. like i know many people believe in some form of afterlife, but personally try as i might i have never been able to, and so i have had to seek meaning in life while believing that like. death is just it. i think ur brain dies and ur done and gone like i don't believe in souls or ghosts or anything lol. but even aside from like whether or not u believe anything happens or exists after death to me personally it's just been so much more meaningful to seek meaning in life absent any conception of an afterlife.

so i knew there wasn't going to be an afterlife. but i also knew i wanted to kill both dorcas + marlene in these very tragic and abrupt ways. like i specifically did not want to give them peaceful deaths. marlene dies afraid and alone and begging a god she doesn't believe in not to kill her here and now with so many things unfinished. dorcas dies consumed by rage and revenge and violence without ever getting a chance to heal from any of it, leaving behind friends and family who love her. and i wanted that partly because i love tragedy, yes, but also because...that is so often what death is. and that is so often what is terrifying about death. like most of us don't get any control over how or when we go, and it could be today or tomorrow and it could be peaceful or violent or painful. and that's so scary!

but i didn't want to end on that note, obviously. because the point of the story i was writing was not just to go "death is terrifying and the End and we don't get to choose when or how it happens!!" what i wanted to say was--death is terrifying and lonely and we can't control it, but life is beautiful and worth living anyway, perhaps even moreso because death is so out of our control. all the painful and scary and beautiful and joyful moments we experience are life, they are living, and there's no one experience that is objectively Better or Worse. like...grief and pain and sorrow are part of the experience of human life, just as much as joy and love and happiness.

anyway, so originally i was going to end with a little epilogue chapter from mary's point of view, sort of her and emmeline after the end of the first war like reflecting a little bit on their friends' lives and moving on. but honestly...that didn't quite fit with what i was saying, because again, what i wanted to say was that life doesn't need to be like...this endless continuing thing to have meaning. like you don't need to be remembered or leave A Mark on the world in order for your life to matter. i didn't want to make it seem like marlene and dorcas's lives were meaningful because of the people who would continue to live after them (although i do think that can be meaningful!! it just. wasn't what i wanted to say).

so what the final chapter ended up becoming is really this synthesis of like. my own worldview regarding life and death--and i feel like writing this story honestly helped me to like pin down that worldview which was a little more nebulous and difficult to articulate before. but like--last chapter. i wanted to take all these moments, both good and bad, from marlene and dorcas's lives--again, to emphasize that the "good moments" are not somehow inherently more important or meaningful than the "bad," that all life is experience and humanity and just...worth it. even the painful moments have meaning. and i also wanted to chop those moments up in time, to show that--hey! time doesn't matter.

like, we're so bound to this very linear view of timelines where life is like...i dunno. a straight line or a road or something. something you start and then you follow through to its end, and it's supposed to be like...a journey with a Final Destination. and we get scared of the End of that linear journey and we try to find ways to prolong it or tell ourselves that it doesn't have to ever end, that it can just keep marching forward in time.

and i mean, i'm still young. maybe my views will change. but as much as we are bound by linear time, i don't think that we need to measure life by those standards. all the moments of your life, good and bad and beautiful, they all exist somewhere in the fabric of the universe, forever. maybe that's a little optimistic streak of the spirituality i was raised with, but...yeah. all moments in life are meaningful, and they all exist somewhere in time, and so why does it matter what the "last" moment is? maybe death will be peaceful, or maybe it won't, but it's okay, because your death isn't your life. and that's what i'm trying to get at with the very last line--literally, a story is not its end. you can go back to any moment of a story and experience it again, you can skip around and read your favorite parts, and a story wouldn't be a story without every word and page in the book, y'know? so why should we fear the very last page? and why should we despair over the conflicts and the bits of the story that make us cry? it's all part of the story! it's beautiful! i love life and i love being human! and dorcas and marlene's lives were beautiful and tragic and wonderful and that's what being human is, and they died alone but they didn't live alone, and just....yeah! this ending is so so special to me <3

[wtsnapchristal]

"Where oh where did you come from? In my darkest hour - you lit up the world like the moon in the night" - I love you

It's been awhile. The world is different now. Life isn't what it used to be. There is no more yelling and cursing. There are no more purple and green bruises hiding under sleeves. There isn't an overwhelming urge to inflict pain upon myself in the night. Into words... how can I explain the peace you've brought to me. I don't flinch when you move past me. I'm not afraid of you in the slightest.

I've written of many loves on this blog. I've grown and shrunk in my emotions. I've cried and cried until my heart couldn't take it anymore. I accepted pain and hostility at one point - as what I truly deserved. It was all that I knew. All that I wanted because I knew nothing else.

How did you manage to find your way all the way over here? We were on complete opposite sides of the country and somehow you snuck your way into my life. Quietly and observant you watched me as I hid behind my smile and my squinty eyes. I sparkled for others to bring as much light as I could so I felt like I had a purpose. I never looked people in the eyes until you showed up. Our eyes met and I looked down - then by the time I looked back up I could tell your eyes never stopped looking at me.

I remember one time - you spoke to me with vigor. Not hate or anger. It was with strength almost in an effort to offer it to me. Much like my best friend had tried to do. You asked "Why do you love him?"

I told you I couldn't help it. That I will always live my life loving others whether they deserve it or not. And what a life to live? For others to feel kindness and love in their darkest times? - Said the very stupid girl.

I told my best friend the same thing as she begged me in the car at 2 AM to please leave him. I told her I cannot help who I love. I told her I am okay. I promised her with my fingers crossed under my thigh that I was okay. I put my best foot forward. I wish I didn't hurt her in that moment. I wish I didn't break her. She sobbed and I just sat there numb, wanting to hug her and crawl into her arms and tell her I'm dying. She gave up because I was incessant. I tore every word she gave me with love, to complete shreds in my absolute stupidity. Then went home to a person who saw me as an object and not a person. I pretended that was love. I thought if I kept pretending it would surely come true. How silly.

I was down so bad. Gasping for air and you all gave me yours. The people I love. He kicked me over and over again while I was on the ground and you all lifted me up and told me I was beautiful. You told me it wasn't right. He lit me on fire and watched me burn into something I never wanted to be. You all brought me water and held me while I crumbled. I bled in front of him from my wrists to my thighs. He saw the cuts turn into scabs. Never realizing that I had brought myself to a point where I felt deserving of those wounds.

But then here we are. What felt like a lifetime ago creeps it's way into my mind as I try to express these thoughts of mine. Did I really live like that? Poor... poor sick child. I can't help but cry to the skies. I begged god for so long to show me something good and they brought me you. They brought me all of the wonderful people I love so dearly. When I finally wiped my eyes I saw the light I was turning my head from.

Slowly I gained my strength back again. I didn't want to love you so soon. I wanted to love myself. I wanted to be my own strength and teach myself how to breathe on my own. I wanted to pick myself up from the ground. I wanted to learn more about myself.

I'm seeing now that you bring out the best in me. You congratulate me and offer me strength to pick myself up. You love me and remind me that I can love me too. You breathe life into me. You teach me about myself everyday and encourage me to learn more about myself. I know you love me. I know you love me like I love you.

This is unlike anything I've ever known. The future holds something so bright I have to shade my eyes. I would let myself fall over and over again. In every universe I would find you and fall without hesitation. I'd cross my arms and let my hair fly up into my face and lean back without a doubt that you'd be there to catch me. All of you.

I love you.

[books-and-catears]

Right everyone hold on to your feels, you will shortly be boarding Angst Express 101. Just look at this brilliant and angsty ask I'm speechless. Even the pairings you asked for are so unique and well thought this is a perfect angst concept. And I really hope I could do this justice. Thank you so much for this ask @saltypaperdestiny

So very sorry for the delay, this was the longest ask I've ever written and boy was I delighted. Though I have to admit I had to cry through some of them myself. This is PART 1. Rest of the brothers and the newly Dateables coming soon in part 2.

Who loved you first? Pt1

Lucifer : Simeon

It was time, he decided. After months of being in your presence, his prideful heart had melted enough to recognise his feelings for you. You were the only he'd truly humble down for, because the affection and care you displayed was unparalled.

"MC please get dressed in something nice. I'm taking you to Ristorante Six as a thank you for helping me with Cerebus and the council paperwork" He says to you, barely containing the excitement. He couldn't wait to see the look on your face when he confessed and how you'd blush when you kissed your knuckles and your cheek and wait - What is Simeon doing in your room at this hour?

He didn't want to interrupt, surely it might be nothing to bother about. He patiently waited outside until he heard what Simeon said.

Simeon: MC... You look beautiful, what's the occasion?

MC: Aw thank you Simeon. You're always so kind. It's nothing much, Lucifer is taking me out as a thank you.

Simeon: Oh do you have to leave right away...?

MC: Oh no no. It's okay I have some more time.

Simeon: Well I originally came here to invite you to try Luke's latest attempt at some new recipes but now there's something else I feel like I must tell you. *Blushes* Something I've been holding back for too long.

MC: *joking* Oh what have you been hiding from me, angel? Speak I beseech you!

Simeon: *laughing and then going solemn* MC... *Takes your hands in his* I love you. I love you with all my heart.

MC: ....me? You love..me? But I'm not nearly-

Simeon: You're the most beautiful soul I've ever met. You radiate kindness and forgiveness and everything pure, overcoming the seven biggest evils you reside with. How can I not love you? Tell me, MC, will you accept me as yours?

Lucifer had a half a mind to storm in and laugh in Simeon's face. What a failure this attempt was going to be. His pride grew inside him as he stifled a laugh. MC was his and only his and now he would take pleasure in watching Simeon learn that. Surely MC was going to turn him down nicely but still. He creeped closer to the door, looking through the open crack.

MC: *in tears* Oh Simeon, I love you too! I never thought an angel could ever love me back!

Simeon: *kisses her knuckles* So... It's a yes?!

MC: Yes yes yes! Oh of course it's a yes! *Hugs him tight* My guardian angel who protects me in the dark, oh how I love you.

Simeon: *laughing as he picks you up and spins you around* Oh how happy you've made me MC! I'm the happiest being alive!

MC: *kissing his cheek* So am I, Simeon. I love you with all my heart.

It took Lucifer all his strength to not collapse or go into a violent frenzy. He balled up his fists so tight, the gloves started tearing at the seams. He watched you smiling so gleefully in his arms, looking so radiant. When Simeon dipped his head down to kiss you, the moonlight poured in through the window as if blessing your union.

It was supposed to be him. If only he made it to your room sooner, it could have been him. Embracing all your beauty, being the cause of the shining smile. IT COULD HAVE BEEN HIM.

At his best

"Are you really that happy with him?" he asks you later that night. The blush on your cheeks and that cheeky smile says it all.

"Congratulations MC." You look so joyous even at the thought of Simeon, how could he ruin that?

His temper is worse, more unforgiving towards all his brothers. He has to bear with your absence in the house all day. The fact that he knows you're at Purgatory hall, sipping tea and arm in arm with him pains him to think.

You bring Simeon along to the council to help him too. He outright denies and asks both of you to leave.

He only ever feels calm to see you alone, but that is even rarer with his brothers around to hog his remaining time.

Eventually makes his peace with it, maybe you're better off with someone as pure as yourself than a demon like him.

At his worst

His wrath is back. It's almost bad enough to birth another Satan. His sense of entitlement is through the roof.

He snaps three weeks later when Simeon and you tell everyone about it and decide that you'll be moving to Purgatory hall soon. Everyone claps and rejoices while Lucifer, drunk off Demonus, crashes the fun.

"Simeon, you dirty cheat, pretending to be all pure with your white wings and devious smile. How dare you?!" He says in calm and deadly rage.

"Lucifer... what's wrong-" You approach him to ask. He looks at you and you see the little tears in the corners.

"MC WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE THAT NIGHT. MINE. NOT YOURS. THE ONLY BEING THAT CAME CLOSE ENOUGH TO STEAL MY HEART AND YOU TOOK HER AWAY FROM ME."

Lucifer was louder now, hysterically angry, throwing his glass on the floor. "AND I KNOW THEY WOULD HAVE PICKED ME IF I GOT TO THEM FIRST! I LOVED THEM TOO DAMNIT." Simeon stood in front of you to protect you from Lucifer's rage. You hid your face in your hands, breaking down in sobs. What is happening? Where did you go wrong?

"Look at them, Lucifer. Look. At. What. You've. Done. And don't tell you've forgotten how many times you've threatened their lives before." Simeon said, holding you tight as you cried into his chest. "How dare you still feel like you deserve them?"

Lucifer sees you broken down, clutching onto Simeon for dear life, crying. You were smiling just a minute ago what has he done? Simeon blocked off his view with his pearly white wings. A reminder of what Lucifer used to be and cannot be again.

Mammon: Asmodeus

You were his human. And he was your first demon. No one was more territorial about you than him. So he finally made up his mind to seal the deal. No more lying about his feelings. He was going to claim you, once and for all. He imagined you smiling and running your hands through his hair and kissing him returning his feelings.

"MC! I brought the movie of the day!" He barged into your room excited, but you were nowhere to be found. Where could you have gone? It was your movie night with him. You were supposed to be waiting for him inside. He asked his brothers and they said you were with Asmo. He stomped his way up to Asmo's room and called out your name. No response. Not till he peeked inside the dark washroom. You were holding Asmo who looked very unstable and weak, sitting at the side of the bath.

MC: Asmo why don't you listen to me when I tell you not to drink so much!?

Asmo: I'm sorry MC *hic* I needed it today...

MC: Why? What's so scary that you don't have the confidence to do sober?

Asmo: MC do you think I look beautiful?

MC: Of course Asmo, you always do.

Asmo: Even with my runny make up, red nose and swollen eyes and this horrible complexion?

MC: *grabs his face* You're always beautiful to me MC.

Asmo: I...I stopped sleeping around MC. I couldn't do it anymore. *tearing up* Because to them, I'm only beautiful with a perfect covered up face.

MC: Asmo...they're blind and shallow demons who don't know anything! I know you, and I know how much more beautiful you are inside out. Don't listen to them.

Asmo feeling insecure about his appearance? What a big fat lie. Is this his new ploy to get to you? How irritating. It's not going to work, Mammon knows you're smarter than that. The Avatar of Lust can manipulate in many ways. Surely his human was smart enough to see through that!

Asmo: MC, I knew you were the one only who truly loved me. And today, I found the one I love too. Much more than I love myself. So I needed a drink to tell you this.

MC: Asmo...

Asmo: *holding your face gently* MC you saw past this pretty face. You saw the things I do more than what I am. Or what I pretend to be. I know it's hard to believe coming from the Avatar of Lust... But MC, I truly really love you. *looks down and sobs* But you probably can't believe me right?

MC: Asmo. Look at me. *You run your fingers through his hair and he looks up with teary eyes* I believe you. And I've loved you too. You're the only one who never hurt me. The one who willingly made a pact with me. You've been so sweet to me since I came. How could I love anyone else?

Asmo: MC I want you all to myself. Will you be mine? Only mine? I swear I'll keep you happy always!

MC: Of course Asmo. I'll all yours. I'm your little human. *giggling and kissing his head*

Asmo: *grabs and kisses you* MC, if you want, I can be your actual first tonight.

Mammon fell to his knees. He wanted to barge in and scream. He wanted to wrestle Asmo to the ground. He wanted to break his face for saying the words that were special to him and you. But your response had him paralysed. You...accepted him. You agreed to be his.

Silent tears streamed down his face as he watched you embracing Asmo, peppering kisses all over his face, running your hands through his hair, laughing and frolicking in the water with him. The colored moonlight through the stained glass danced on their skin like a scene from his favourite movie.

At his best

He cries to himself for days. Spends as much time outside as he can.

Maybe he is an idiot for thinking he had a chance with him. How could he compete with Asmo's charms.

Maybe it hurt more because Asmo didn't even have to use his charms.

Only ever tries to talk to you if he's sure your alone. One time he barged into your room and caught you and Asmo tangled up together and it broke him all over again.

He watched as you twirled around in a new outfit Asmo bought. He scoffs. He could have bought it for you too.

You both look so cheerful and in love, he decides to accept it. For the sake of his little brother and the human he loves.

At his worst

Breaks down and lets his emotions out in the worst way possible. Too desperate to win you back somehow.

Asmo and you were just telling Solomon and Simeon about your relationship when Mammon barged in through the doors of Purgatory halls.

"MC look! Look what I got you!" He came in all ragged. He knelt down and pulled out a ring. "Take me instead! I was your first wasn't I MC? Don't let him take my place please!"

"Mammon no... No please don't be this way...I'm sorry..." You kneel down next to him as he screams and sobs like a child. You feel guilty. You caused this. You lead him on. You fight your own tears as you keep apologising.

Asmo yanks you up and wraps his arms around you, staring down angrily at Mammon. "Mammon, leave."

Mammon lunged at Asmo. "I was going to tell them. That night was our movie night. You stole that night from me. YOU STOLE MY CHANCE AND MY MC!"

Asmo mocked at him with a sardonic laugh. "You still assume MC is yours without even telling them. You kept lying about your feelings and hurting them in the process. And yet, when they finally look happy, you come and make them cry. You are a scumbag Mammon."

Mammon looked at your tear stained face, nestled inside Asmo's arms and wings. He really felt like nothing but a scumbag.

Leviathan : Belphegor

Levi fell in love with you since your first act of kindness. As a shut-in whose only conversations were with his own eccentric and dismissive brothers, you were an angel who had brought him the gift of true companionship. Honestly he was okay being your best friend, until the day he started craving more. So he decided it was time to tell you.

'MC come to my room! I have a new game to show you!' It was a virtual dating game where he was going to confess digitally. You always loved his creative ways of doing simple stuff after all. He decided to play your favourite game while waiting for you. He even left the door ajar. Now he wished he didn't.

Belphie: MC do you have a minute?

MC: Yeah I was just heading to Levi's room what's up?

Belphie: I think I fallen in love with you, MC.

MC: .... Huh?

Levi almost burst out laughing hearing Belphie's confession. What kind of a bland confession is that? How can someone say that so easily? No that was definitely a joke on MC or something. Surely MC wouldn't take this seriously.

Belphie: I had a dream just now. About you.

MC: Uh huh?

Belphie: In that dream, we were up in the sky, among the stars. And you looked so pretty glittering along with them all. So I kissed you impulsively. And you kissed me back.

MC: ...that's a sweet dream. *blushes*

Belphie: *takes your hand* I woke up and my first thougt was I wish that was real. And then I realised it can be.

MC: ...

Belphie: I want to be able to kiss you always. I want to be able to take you far away. I want all your time. I love you MC. Be mine.

MC: Belphie I-

Belphie: I know, how can you possibly love your own murderer...? *Sighs* I cannot undo what I did. I'm sorry MC. I can only swear that I won't ever let that happen again.

MC: *smiles and cups his face* You were locked away for 3 millenia I can imagine your endless anger and grief for your sister. I forgave you long ago.

Belphie: So does that mean you'll accept me?

MC: You're already mine, silly. And now I'm yours. You're the only one I can relax with in the whole realm.

Belphie: MC... Come here. *holds you close and kisses you*

Levi's game screen displayed the message "GAME OVER: You lose". Levi couldn't see it clearly. His vision was blurred by the tears brimming on his eyes. You and Belphie looked to distant shadows on the moon.

He blamed himself for even thinking he had a chance with you. But maybe just...maybe if he had gotten there before? He stared at the screen and then at his spare console that he had declared yours. He picked up it, and locked it inside. Probably won't be needing it anytime soon.

At his best

He barely comes out of his room anymore. He tries to return your smile at breakfast but then returns hurriedly, leaving Beel to finish most of his food.

"Are you sure you want to play games? Wouldn't you rather go up to the attic" He mutters under his breath sometimes and then says it's nothing when you ask him.

Pains him when he sees you curled with Belphie in random places, dozing off. Might cover you with a blanket. Just you though.

Spites Belphie. A lot of people have said they look and act alike. But somehow you like sleeping more than anime and gaming?

Just accepts it as his fate. Atleast he's still your best friend, right?

At his worst

He's called the Avatar of Envy for a reason. He can barely hold it in seeing the both of you together constantly.

Belphie you and Beel were having a jolly time watching a movie and eating snacks while Belphie slept curled up in your lap. Levi happened to walk in while you were rubbing Belphie's head soothingly.

For some reason, Levi couldn't hold it in anymore. "UGH YOU FUCKING NORMIES!" he screamed out of frustration.

Belphie woke up drowsily when you stopped at stared at Levi holding back tears in the doorway. "Levi..what's wrong.." you call out to him.

He barges in and pushes Belphie off you and grabs your hands, tears falling and him screaming. "Why do you care, MC?! I'm a just disgusting shut in otaku right?! But guess what even as that I do more than just sleep and drool all fucking day! AND MORE IMPORTANTLY ATLEAST IM NOT THE ONE WHO KILLED YOU! So why him? WHY NOT ME MC?!"

"Levi...no..." You plead with him to calm down, tearing up yourself. You should have known. You should have known this would happen.

Belphie violently pushed Levi off you and grabbed him by the collar. "You were the first one to attack MC in this house. And I'm sure you would have killed them if not for Lucifer. So stop pretending you're better than me, you ridiculous creep. A shut in like you is worthless. The only thing you're good at is making MC distressed."

Levi looked at you trying to pull Belphie back, tears streaming down your face and hung his head low. It was simply an Otome game and MC didn't choose him.

Satan: Solomon

Satan took his time to fall. With late night studying session, every cat cafe date, every trip to the museum - he fell more and more each time. To the point where he wanted to spend every waking moment with you. And he was ready to tell you.

For a whole week, he kept writing and scrapping the perfect love letter for you. Then he realised you were someone who preferred simple honesty. "MC please wait for me in the library I'll be there shortly." He'd said before he dashed out to bring a boquet of your favourite flowers and a book which reminded him of you. He'd almost made it to the library, he saw you waiting inside for him eagerly. That was until someone flew in through the window.

Solomon? What's he doing at this hour? Satan peeked in through the half open library door. He wanted to be alone with you so he'd wait till Solomon was gone. He shouldn't have waited.

MC: Solomon! You scared me silly!

Solomon: *laughing* Your face just now MC...so adorable! Like a scared kitten!

MC: You wooshed in through the window!

Solomon: Okay okay my bad. Now what are you doing in the library so late at night. I went to your room and couldn't find you.

MC: Oh Satan called me out here. Told me to wait for him. Maybe there's a new book he wants to read.

Solomon: Do you guys do that often? Reading books this late?

MC: Haha yeah usually we just read in my room or his at night, in case we fall asleep.

Solomon: *sigh* So unfair.

MC: What's unfair?

Solomon: You and I are the only humans here. Why did they put us in different houses? Shouldn't we... be together more often?

MC: Well logically yes we should. Just classes and magic lessons aren't enough! You should live here too!

Solomon: I doubt Lucifer would be okay with that. But well.. here's the real reason I'm here now. *brings out a little basket*

MC: That's...that's a kitten! Hi baby! What's her name!?

Solomon: MC.

MC: Yeah what?

Solomon: No I named the kitten MC. This way I get to call your name as much as I want haha. The silly things us humans do for love, huh?

Satan had a sick feeling in his stomach. Watching you and him sitting in the moonlight, surrounded by books, cuddling a kitten and confessing...that should be him. Him not Solomon. He didn't like where this was heading. But just like you can't help but stare at disaster - he couldn't look away. What was MC going to say...?

MC: Solomon... *blushes*

Solomon: Does my affection scare you? *reaches for your hand*

MC: Of course not...I.. *gets closer and intertwining your fingers together*

Solomon: Is this your way of showing-

MC: *blushes* Yes. I love you too.

Solomon: I believe I've lived for a 1000 years just to hear those words. *kisses you against the bookshelves*

MC: I believe you've gotten 1000 years worth of romantic lines stored away in that head of yours. *Laughs and kisses him back*

Solomon: Let's take this to the moon shall we?

Satan watched as he took you and kitten in his arms and flew out the window. Satan rushed in not wanting to lose sight of you, dropping the flowers and books. Balling his fists, he choked on his angry tears as he watched you both laughing and kissing against the bright light of the moon. He felt like his own happy ending was stolen from him.

When you disappeared from view, he let out a blood curdling scream, pulling at his own hair and knocking over the bookshelf against which Solomon kissed you. The wrath inside him made him thrashing around in pain, burning him inside out. The flowers he dropped, lay there next to his sobbing body, wilting in his pain.

At his best

He manages to put on his best fake smile and go about his day. Tries hard to hide his annoyance if you bring him up.

But you seem so happy and you often invite him to new cat cafes and shelters. So despite Solomon's presence, he feels calm because of you and the cats.

Is secretly happy you get to spend more time with him than Solomon. Takes advantage of that and hogs you all to himself while in the house

While he can't hold or kiss you the way the Solomon does, you're here next to him, reading his recommended books. That's enough to soothe his yearning heart.

At his worst

The war for love is on. He doesn't care if Solomon already won. He will still declare his love no matter what.

It started out as subtle, he did what he knew Solomon couldn't. Cooking MC's favourite dishes whenever it was his turn to cook.

Tries to subtly reinforce his intelligence over Solomon when you're around. What's 1000 years of knowledge worth, Satan has been there since the first millenia ever

But the day Solomon and you announced you'll be moving to Purgatory Hall, he charged at him, his demon form angry and glowing. "How dare you think you can take them away from us? You think you can win against us... against me? You may have taken my chance with them but I won't let you take them away! They belong here with me!"

You inched closer to Satan's form. You'd never seem him this angry. "Satan please calm down-" Satan wasn't listening. He let out a feral growl and attacked Solomon.

Solomon held MC by his side and made a protection shield Satan couldn't get through. You started crying, watching his wrath take over, he must be in so much pain.

Solomon felt you curl up against him in fear and guilt. Gritting his teeth, he grabbed Satan by the scruff of his neck, like you'd do with a misbehaving cat.

"You say you want to protect them and yet look what you did instead." Solomon said. Satan looked helplessly at you, crying with your face buried in your hands. Glancing at his horns in the mirror, he called out to you sadly, "MC..."

Solomon creeped closer and said in a deadly low voice. "You love fairy tales right Satan? Well in the story of Beauty and the Beast, they could only be together because the beast was actually a human." And Satan was far from being a human.

Asmo : Mammon

It happened the day Asmo looked into the mirror and felt something missing. Suddenly his own reflection wasn't enough anymore. He pondered what it was when you happened to walk into his room and hug him from behind. And then he found the missing piece. You. He simply had to make sure you would become a part of him now.

Now contrary to popular belief, he did get nervous while thinking of proposing. This man is all about lust and a little kid when it comes to love. It's a whole new emotion and he's unsure how to deal with it. With some advice from Satan's romance books he lights your room up with candles, groomed himself perfectly, waiting for you to return to your room. Only you don't come. "What's taking MC so long?!"

He headed out and found you in Mammon's room instead. Asmo saw in the reflection off the mirror, Mammon's shirt off and him lying on his front as you poured ointment over his scars.

Mammon: Oi MC please don't be so upset...

MC: You didn't deserve this. You didn't. I did.

Mammon: MC, not again.

MC: You took my punishment. You took the blame for the broken vase for my sake.

Mammon: I didn't want ya getting hurt ya stupid human!

MC: Don't be calling me stupid and then go off doing stupid stuff yourself! *cries*

Mammon: MC...no don't cry. Please I'm sorry.

MC: Don't apologize for this! Mammon you're too kind... You keep taking blame for others, and the others just UGH.

Mammon: I've gotten used to Lucifer's punishments, MC! I'm more used to it than my brothers so I can take it!

MC: .... You're such a sweet big brother. You can't stop protecting the people you love, can you?

Mammon: *turns around to lie on his back* Now you get why I need to protect ya, don't ya?

Asmo's eyes flew open as did yours. Mammon just confessed to you. Albeit indirectly, but really did. But he felt pity for his older brother. Sure he was caring and sweet sometimes, but mostly he was a thief and a scumbag who constantly gets into trouble. He didn't stand a chance against Asmo's charms.

MC: Mammon... You silly demon. I love you too. *Lays their head on his chest*

Mammon: *blushes and coughs* Of course ya love the Great Mammon, human!

MC: *smiles against his skin* Swear to me, you won't ever do that again else I will fight Lucifer myself!

Mammon: *smiles* He's attacked ya thrice and yer face still loses its colour whenver he's around and yet yer thinking of fighting him for my sake, MC?

MC: OF COURSE!

Mammon: But I don't want that. Ya did too much for all of us when ya sacrificed your life to bring Belphie back. I should know, I held ya in my arms. *Tears up* Ya know ye were smiling still?? So calm and undisturbed as if ya didn't care what happens to ya now that all the brothers are together?

MC: You caught me...

Mammon: And I never want to catch ya like that again, get that human!? I will be a good protector as I was meant to be.

MC: Mammon... you're far too kind to be a demon. *Kisses him and gets on top of him*

Mammon: *grips their arms and holds them close* Stay with me tonight.

Asmo watched as you nodded and took off your top and lay down over him again, your skins in gentle and intimate contact and you both wrap your arms around and you presses kisses onto each other. The moonlight danced on your entangled bodies.

He stared and stared, his insides burning with an alien feeling. He hadn't known envy till you came along. His signature move would be to call both of you out and suggest a threesome, but what you both seemed to have was impenetrable. And in the mirror where he saw your reflections, he couldn't see himself.

At his best

This demon had never known love. He might have if Mammon hadn't decides to confess that very night.

But who cares? What's done is done. It's time to root for the both of you. He still has his followers to turn to.

"Mammon finally confessed huh?" He asked jokingly. Until he saw you blush and nod.

"You both must have fun together huh?" He says with a dry laugh.

Your hugs and headpats still keep him going. He takes you buy new dresses knowing it's to impress Mammon instead.

Tries so hard to conceal his tears and tantrums around you. He doesn't want to lose the small part of you that he had left.

At his worst

He cannot stay home. The sight of you both together makes him irritated and stressed both very bad for his skin.

He drinks and parties uncontrollably, bringing home demons and succubi that always seem to resemble you.

One night, Lucifer had enough and caught him by the collar, forbidding him to go to his room. Asmo giggled until Mammon and you showed up.

He swiftly escaped Lucifer's grasp and lunged at you, holding your face between his trembling hands. You look at him closely, his make up was messier than usual, the cresent underneath his eyes was darker than usual.

"MC...look at me. Look at only me. Just for a little while." Asmo said and his eyes glowed. He'd turned on his charm on full force as he leaned into you for a kiss.

Mammon pushed him back and stood before you protectively. Asmo fell back, laughing like a maniac. "Stupid Mammon they are with you out of pity! How long do you think you can make them stay with that stupid brain and sub par beauty?"

You teared up and screamed, "Asmo stop saying things like that! You dont even know anything about him!" Mammon hugged you tight, trying to calm you down.

And then in a lowly growl he said, "Asmo don't let me see ya laying a finger on MC again. Ya would see how people really see ya if you learnt to look away from your own reflection!"

But Asmo did. He did look away from his reflection. He looked at you. Only you didn't look back at him.

Keep reading Pt. 2

[fireheartfaery]

As the year comes to a close (thank the gods) I have one group of people to thank for getting me through it: And that's fanfic authors! You guys have saved me every single day this year and I can never thank you enough for it❤️

I started this list in July sometime and it has been steadily growing since then, and I'm sure it will continue to, but I cannot close out this hell-year without thanking these blogs in particular because wow I would not have survived without y'all's works!

@stardustroses Bruna! I discovered your Headcanons first and I fell head over heels in love. I haven't read your gen 2 yet but I promise I will. Thank you for giving us that sweet sweet manorian content we are being so (rudely) denied! And thank you for all the warnette and dramione. Most importantly, thank you for your original WIP. I cannot tell you how much I love your beautiful characters and I hope with all my heart that one day I can hold your book in my hand and know that I read its contents all that time ago and loved it even then.

@ladywitchling Ams! You know I love your writing. You write raw and real and it makes me so sad but heals me so well. Thank you for becoming a friend. Your presence has been a light in the darkness of this year. I will possess your heart is one of the greatest pieces of writing I have ever had the pleasure to read and I cannot tell you how blown away I was! Also Zillah is everything. EVERYTHING

@noodlecatposts Jess! (I hope it's okay to call you that) Firstly I hope you're really really proud of yourself for all you've written and done this year because holy crab cakes you took on a lot of projects. I think I found you because of Noisy Neighbours but I think I only got a few chapters in before I had to call it quits because I cannot handle angst until I know I'm going to get fluff resolution and that did not come for a hot minute👀(I will catch up on NN that's a promise to myself) but obviously I stalked your account because I love your writing style and I found so many beautiful fics! Also I just need to tell you that this one particular ask (and your response to it) will pop into my head randomly and I will die laughing! It was around 20 chapters into NN and the asker said something along the lines of "In another 20 chapters will see rowaelin doing [cannot remember]" and your response was roughly "Oh God I don't think I can write 20 more chapters" and now I think NN is on 60 chapters? That interaction just makes me laugh all the time, and especially when I see a new chapter is up. When you started Kingsflame I knew it'd be my favourite by far. That fic has a special place in my heart and I think about it on the regular.

@sassyhobbits your One Night Standards fic is b r i l l i a n t. I haven't finished it yet but please know that Princess Aelin and Prince Rowan own all the parts of my heart and I loved their characterizations so much! That scene where they go out into the city all disguised and then they have greasy burgers at the diner is so soft and I think about it constantly! Also the one where they had to stage that picnic and the little girl came up to Aelin? Freaking adorable. I adore how badass and wonderful Lysandra is as well! THANK YOU!

@charincharge your Cruel Summer fic was!!! Mind blowing. I loved everything about it and when it ended all I wanted to do was dive back into the world and read about rowaelin having theme park adventures. Thank you thank you thank you for creating that beautiful AU!

@simping4bookboisngrls Cass! The minute you interacted with my crackships post I knew I'd adore you forever!! Your Everybody Talks fic lives rent free in my mind and I love love love every relationship (platonic and romantic) you've created! Also getting to interact with you has been one of the best things about my year so thank you for brightening my dash! (and my life)

Special Mentions:

@tacmc @snelbz Your "Swipe Left" one (two?) shot fic was SOOOOOO freaking cute!!! Everything about it! I love the collaborations you guys do.

@ourlovelybones your manorian fic hello princeling, hello witchling yea I love it and it's so cute and you providing us with the manorian content we deserve? QUEEN! thank you

@highqueenofelfhame I think I've read your writing in pieces here and there and I loved it all but my fave thing is "Sleight of Hand"! That fic gave me so much happy thank you

@rhysanoodle finding you quinlar one shot after reading the blue-balls that was CC was like finding water in the flipping desert!! You are a life saver thank you

@westofmoon your "12 17 days of Rowaelin" was *all the heart eyes* and I think I had like 6 strokes from the cuteness alone!

@darklesmylove your perspective fics where you write about things that could have happened are wonderful!! Specifically "intentions" and "the stars pale" I just loved them so much! I always need me some rowaelin

@starseternalnighttriumphant your kinktober obliterated me!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVED ALL OF IT SO MUCH. Thank you for spoiling us. Also your daddy!Rowan AU is g e n i u s

@dawninlatin Queen of Peace is one of my fave manorian AUs of all time and I love that they're just blushing idiots who don't know what going on and need to be pushed together in order to realize they're perfect for each other!! Also Manon rebelling against her grandmother is the greatest thing to ever happen. And Asterin continues to be iconic in any universe

@empress-ofbloodshed THANK YOU FOR THE ROWCAN! I didn't expect it to be such a big part of my year but it has made all the difference in the world! Your roommates AU is the cutest ever

@rhysand-vs-fenrys YOUR CAZRIEL???? Unreal. Unbelievable. Show stopping. You made my cazriel binge that much better and I love you for it!

@nalgenewhore thank you for the rowcan content!! Between you and @empress-ofbloodshed my 2020 has brought only the best crackship! Also I love Kohana!!!! Like I would die for him

@sacksvilles I will never ever be over the perfection that is Nezriel and I want to live in the universe where they're canon instead of nessian!! Thank you for creating the nezriel monster that is me. Also your fic "Illyrian Oral Lessons" is perfection and nothing less!

[urujiako]

hey jia this ask is going to be really long but i just want to tell you that i am here for you no matter what, even though i'm just a friend on the internet- hearing what you've said breaks my heart. i can't say i know exactly how you feel because i'm not you and i will never be in that exact situation, but i will say that i've walked through some rough patches in life before as well, and i want you to know that in the end, there is clarity; and in the end, things will be okay.

it's easy to find ourselves in difficult situations. that's how life is, i guess; one moment we are full of joy and feel as if we're living our best life, the next moment it seems as if everything can come crashing down all at once. and sometimes it's very, very hard to understand why we get stuck in situations that are seemingly impossible to get out of; sometimes it's difficult to wrap our heads around why we, out of all people, we who try our best to be kind and loving, have to experience the heart-wrenching pains of life.

and i just want you to know you're not alone. you are loved, even if it may not be the kind of love that is ideal to feel in these kind of situations. you're loved by me, and all of us here who appreciate you so, so much. i say this truthfully and honestly that you are one of the friendliest people i've met online and irl combined; the first time i saw you in my notifications i was overjoyed because i'd seen how you interacted with my other mutuals, and you were so full of love and i instantly felt comfortable.

but your compassion and care for the people around you is evident, whether it be us or those you know in real life. and i know how difficult it can be when you feel as if the emotions (and possibly future) of someone you care about is in your hands, it can feel like a heavy burden, even if that's not how we want it to feel- but it's okay, it's okay to acknowledge that. and it's okay to take care of yourself, and leave space for you, because at the end of the day you are the most important, you should be the most important. and even though it sounds self-centered, we can only care for others when we care about ourselves first. it's okay to not always be positive and radiating energy to everyone, because sometimes you need to be cared for too. you deserve just as much as you give.

i know it's a lot harder said than done. but know that pain is always temporary, and there is always relief to be found, there is always happiness along the way. and it's okay to feel down, it's okay to feel lost sometimes.

and i know this isn't what comforts everyone, but perhaps knowing you're christian i'll leave you with something that often guides me and gives me peace.

God will guide you through life, even when you feel as if you're unable to escape. He will never put you in a situation which you cannot handle. and maybe the way of "handling" the situation is out of your comfort zone, maybe the experiences you go through will hurt. sometimes people and things come and go in our lives for reasons we may never fully understand until we look back on them in hindsight. inevitably, we will go through difficulties in life that change us, and we won't know at first whether it's for better or for worse. but either way, they shape who we are, and i don't think that you should ever be ashamed of who you are. because you're wonderful. and believe in yourself; even if you may feel unfit to "suit" a certain role, whether it be in someone else's life or in your own, just know that you are worthy, and you are strong.

and know that everything will be okay.

i hope the troubles ease soon, and that aside from all the loving and beautiful humans on this earth, God will always love you, too, and he is always watching over you.

sarah.

(this is a bit long, so full msg under the cut!)

this post made me so unbelievably happy. you should have seen the smile on my face TuT genuinely cried, this was such a sweet ask! i love you so much – thank you for making my day a little brighter!

firstly; yes. i'm here for you too, my love! my dms are always open when you want to talk. <3

secondly; i love that. there will be clarity – this whole phrase is just so comforting :") this is true, everything will work out for the best one day. it may not be today, nor tomorrow, nor next week – it'll happen one day.

thirdly; yeah, def! life fluctuates so much its really disappointing but change is the only constant ig haish. even if it is really painful at times. comfort zones are called comfort zones for a reason :""")

fourth; sarah, this part just made me cry. i love you so much. this was genuinely what i hoped this blog would be – a safe shelter with warm food and blankets that just.. radiates a space of love, you know? part of being a christian is also advocating for love to each other :") i'm so happy you feel this way about my blog. this means so so much to me. i'm so happy that you're comfortable around me, it means a lot. i love you dearly, sarah <3

fifth; this hit hard. this is exactly whats going through rn. and it sucks ass. i don't think it's self centered to love yourself first – thats basic human decency XD you're absolutely right, my dear.

sixth; pain truly is only temporary. <3 this is such a lovely reminder honestly.

seventh; this makes me so happy. thank you for the words of encouragement – of peace, of comfort, of assurance. this was beautifully written and i'm so glad that it was for me! He will always be there to ground me when i float too high, and i think that's truly something worth living for. my anchor, my hope. thank you for this sweet message!

sarah, i love you. you've been the absolute sweetest since day 1 and i genuinely cannot imagine not having you in my life. you've been such a big blessing and inspiration (all glory to Him!) in my life and i'm so happy that God put us on these crossed paths! i love you so much, have the most wonderful day/night.

mega big hugs from me. mwah. xx

[owowatsdiss]

Gays in Space

In light of recent troubles you may be asking yourself, "What the hell, can't I have one good thing?"

Well as a matter of fact,

you can.

Welcome to gays in space, a masterpost

~

Perhaps japan has stolen your heart and dyed your hair when you were thirteen, if so maybe Sailor Moon is right for you

I'll admit this probably isn't your introduction to sailor moon but you also didnt realize how incredibly gay it actually is.

Thats because for this you're going to have to be exceptionally careful about where you watch it.

The sailor moon on your tv as a kid had all the gay erased and told you they were cousins. With the right kind of japanese dub thats faithful to the original you get playful flirty quips and uncensored lesbian romance.

~

Perhaps you like to locally source your entertainment and only the freshest, indieist, content can brew your morning cup of joe, if so maybe what you need is On a Sunbeam

Words cannot describe how gay this is. Its only job is to be a lesbian romance in space and it is fucking acing it. This comic is beautiful and more importantly should get you that fix of positive gay space content you crave.

~

We've all gotten a plastic lightsaber as a child and subsequently broken it over the side of a tree, or at least I think we all have, lets not debate it too hard, point being what you need is some gays in Star Wars

~

Star Wars: Aftermath

Welcome to your new favorite book trilogy. Forget lord of the rings, hunger games is over, and for the love of fuck, burn those copies of fifty shades because I've got something better.

Thats right our man Sinjir is one of the main characters of this book and taking us on a gay journey through space while a bunch of assholes lose their shit about it.

Admittedly it takes until about book two to get to the level of gay you crave. But with the introduction of Conder we've got full on gay romance, gay tension, gay pinning, in star wars.

Now this is the first thing I've pointed you towards that isn't free, here's how youre gonna make it cheaper.

Check your local library. Maybe it's free for you. Who knows. Sit in barnes and noble and read it in it's entirety. What are they gonna do kick you out?(maybe)

If all else fails check your email and see if google play sent you five bucks off a book, which they do sometimes.(use the email search bar)

~

Another gay star wars book, sortof, From a Certain Point of View

From a Certain Point of View is a collection of 40 starwars related short storys and we care about exactly one of them.

MSE-6 and Men by Glen Weldon is a short story about a mouse droid capturing the love affair of a stormtrooper and an imperial officer.

It's cute, it's short, and near as I can tell it's the only star wars story that's sole focus is gay romance.

Now I probably wouldn't buy the whole book, for this one you've seriously just gotta head into a book store and read the part you're interested in.(not to say the book isn't good but alas the other 39 aren't gay related)

~

The Kotor series

A series of videogames taking place in the extended universe it's got space combat, space romance, and writing so sharp it could kill a man.

Kotor is a game series riddled with gay romance, but for this one you'll have to look up whichever one you're interested in and see what your gay romance options are. There are sooooo many choices. I actually can't list them all. Seriously look them up. In a world where you get maybe one token character on the side, here you'll have more gays then you can romance.

~

Perhaps you hate Star Wars, perhaps you're bummed out that the only videogames options mentioned involved my favorite laser space jesus, worry not because Mass Effect 3 is what you need

I've got only one thing I need to say about Mass Effect 3. Gay sex controversy. That is a real honest to god article. Shit my life is a gay sex controversy. Fucking iconic.

For this one yet again not really free.(for kotor games it depends.) But its also kind of an old game. So you'll find a used copy or maybe even pirate it.

~

Well you knew it was coming. Honestly shocked I managed to hold it back this long. So with all the casualness someone can recommend a webcomic longer than war and peace, let me tell you about Homestuck

It's beautiful guys. It's just literary perfection. I love everything about it. It's hilarious. It definitely understands life better than I do. The characters bounce off eachother and you can actually see the way they make a dent in eachothers live. The interests they have they actually geniunely have those interests. I'm almost positive hussie actually has all of the hobbies he's given his characters. It's just shockingly well written. And I recommend it more than anything else on this list.

Not to mention it's gay. It's so gay. Every grey character in the picture above is a gay space alien. And thats just the people I can show you.(tumblr says im at my photo limit)

It's literally a race of pansexual polyamorous space aliens. Seriously find me something gayer than that. You can't.

~

Honorable mention Neon Genesis Evangelion

Gay for only the briefest briefest sliver of a second. In a series this interesting it warrants perhaps a moment of your consideration.

~

Well I'll admit this is sortof for the voltron fandom. They definitely seem to be having a rough time of it. And recommending steven universe a million times doesn't really do them justice.(but if you haven't gotten a steven universe recommend yet it is also well worth your time) And if anyone knows of any others I'm very interested and I'll add them to this list.

[enlightened711-blog]

Enlightened The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science. Albert Einstein Look deep into nature, and then you will understand everything better. Albert Einstein Enlightenment: The act of enlightening or the state of being enlightened. Enlighten: Give greater knowledge and understanding about a subject or situation. Give spiritual knowledge or insight. Enlightened: Having or showing a rational, modern, and well-informed outlook. Spiritually aware. Meditation and mindfulness are useful tools in this process of creating a more accurate perception of reality, a more focused life and a more joyful experience. As we delve into our inner world the study of the sciences, psychology, the brain and consciousness can help us interpret our experiences. Our enlightenment is effected by our ego's need to see the world in a certain way and to maintain it's own existence. Meditation can help us see the world more clearly, not as we as we think we need to see it. When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. Mark Twain All this worldly wisdom was once the unnameable heresy of some wise man. Henry David Thoreau Delusions are normal parts of existence, assume that they are there even though you can not see them.   Mindfulness helps us live in the present without the demons of the past tearing at us or the desires and fears of the future distracting us. It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer. Albert Einstein We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us. Joseph Campbell And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. Anais Nin Participate joyfully in the sorrows of the world. We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy. Joseph Campbell The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up. Paul Valery For all life is a dream, and dreams themselves are only dreams. Pedro Calderon de la Barca Myths are public dreams, dreams are private myths. Joseph Campbell Living in dreams of yesterday, we find ourselves still dreaming of impossible future conquests. Charles Lindbergh One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today. Dale Carnegie The Universe is one great kindergarten for man. Everything that exists has brought with it its own peculiar lesson. Orison Swett Marden There are always flowers for those who want to see them. Henri Matisse Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors where there were only walls. Joseph Campbell Most sets of values would give rise to universes that, although they might be very beautiful, would contain no one able to wonder at that beauty. Stephen Hawking The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it. Henry David Thoreau To live is so startling it leaves little time for anything else. Emily Dickinson Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies. Erich Fromm It takes a long time to become young. Pablo Picasso There is always some specific moment when we become aware that our youth is gone; but, years after, we know it was much later. Mignon McLaughlin An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself. Albert Camus Alas, after a certain age every man is responsible for his face. Albert Camus Beauty is unbearable, drives us to despair, offering us for a minute the glimpse of an eternity that we should like to stretch out over the whole of time. Albert Camus For if there is a sin against life, it consists perhaps not so much in despairing of life as in hoping for another life and in eluding the implacable grandeur of this life. Albert Camus He who despairs of the human condition is a coward, but he who has hope for it is a fool. Albert Camus How hard, how bitter it is to become a man! Albert Camus That God does not exist, I cannot deny, That my whole being cries out for God I cannot forget. Jean-Paul Sartre There is only one day left, always starting over: it is given to us at dawn and taken away from us at dusk. Jean-Paul Sartre We do not judge the people we love. Jean-Paul Sartre When we love the world we do not judge it, rather we make a choice in the moment. Respond intelligently even to unintelligent treatment. Lao Tzu Always respond intelligently to unintelligent treatment even if to an outside observer it appears that you are not responding intelligently. Everything happens to everybody sooner or later if there is time enough. George Bernard Shaw Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. Henry David Thoreau Until you value yourself, you won't value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. M. Scott Peck The more you value yourself the more that you will be able to focus your efforts. He that would live in peace and at ease must not speak all he knows or all he sees. Benjamin Franklin Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. Confucius Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. Lao Tzu For in all adversity of fortune the worst sort of misery is to have been happy. Boethius The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched - they must be felt with the heart. Helen Keller All men are children, and of one family. The same tale sends them all to bed, and wakes them in the morning. Henry David Thoreau As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives. Henry David Thoreau A pathway starts with a single footstep. Friends... they cherish one another's hopes. They are kind to one another's dreams. Henry David Thoreau It is a difficult decision to wake someone from a delusional dream. Wake oneself first. How can any man be weak who dares to be at all? Henry David Thoreau If you can speak what you will never hear, if you can write what you will never read, you have done rare things. Henry David Thoreau Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them. Henry David Thoreau The greatest compliment that was ever paid me was when one asked me what I thought, and attended to my answer. Henry David Thoreau The squirrel that you kill in jest, dies in earnest. Henry David Thoreau There is no remedy for love but to love more. Henry David Thoreau There is no value in life except what you choose to place upon it and no happiness in any place except what you bring to it yourself. Henry David Thoreau True friendship can afford true knowledge. It does not depend on darkness and ignorance. Henry David Thoreau You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment. Henry David Thoreau A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou. Omar Khayyam Drink! for you know not whence you came nor why: drink! for you know not why you go, nor where.   Omar Khayyam Living Life Tomorrow's fate, though thou be wise, Thou canst not tell nor yet surmise; Pass, therefore, not today in vain, For it will never come again. Omar Khayyam The moving finger writes, and having written moves on. Nor all thy piety nor all thy wit, can cancel half a line of it. Omar Khayyam That though the radiance which was once so bright be now forever taken from my sight. Though nothing can bring back the hour of splendor in the grass, glory in the flower. We will grieve not, rather find strength in what remains behind. William Wordsworth Thinking isn't agreeing or disagreeing. That's voting. Robert Frost Adapt or perish, now as ever, is nature's inexorable imperative. H. G. Wells Fame will go by and, so long, I've had you, fame. If it goes by, I've always known it was fickle. So at least it's something I experience, but that's not where I live. Marilyn Monroe For every person who has ever lived there has come, at last, a spring he will never see. Glory then in the springs that are yours. Pam Brown Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair. Kahlil Gibran I've made an odd discovery. Every time I talk to a savant I feel quite sure that happiness is no longer a possibility. Yet when I talk with my gardener, I'm convinced of the opposite. Bertrand Russell Let us learn to appreciate there will be times when the trees will be bare, and look forward to the time when we may pick the fruit. Anton Chekhov Every religion is true one way or another. It is true when understood metaphorically. But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors, interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble. Joseph Campbell I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it. Groucho Marx A truly good book teaches me better than to read it. I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint. What I began by reading, I must finish by acting. Henry David Thoreau