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vacantgodling · 2 days ago

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💋 100 Question Sex and Kink OC Ask Game ❤️‍🔥

by the lovely @ink-flavored

i’m gonna do this entire questionnaire for my silly guy KING RICAUD OF CONCORDIA, who—to explain very simply—is a fantasy 15th-century/king arthur inspired ruler who is just, and good, and sticks his dick in literally fucking everything. NOW WITH DOODLE!!

answers below the cut 💛💛 (i will skip ones that don’t apply to him or that i don’t have much of an answer for that’s worth talking about)

✅Biggest turn ons? Something they'll always be into?

fellatio/cunnilingus, giving and receiving. it’s always a good time to him, having his mouth occupied or someone else’s (OR BOTH!!! AT THE SAME TIME!!!!!) and losing himself in the bliss of that wet hot feeling or the taste of the other person. it’s no secret that he has an oral fixation and likes shit in his mouth.

he’s also super into cum-play, coming inside or on someone or getting cummed on is >>>>>> to him; he likes the physical evidence of his own or his partner’s satisfaction.

🛑Biggest turn offs? What are their hard-nos?

humiliation and especially degradation aren’t really his thing. he respects people who are into it but honestly he’s too nice of a guy and he takes it personally and can’t really get into the “role” of the person doling out that kind of talk. sex to him is about joy and pleasure and intimacy; so he just can’t really jive mentally with fucking someone and telling them they suck (derogatory). he can kinda get on if he’s the one receiving humiliation a bit (the whole “you just can’t control yourself can you so naughty” vibe) but that’s only really from specific people and situations where he’d be into it. but giving is very hm no.

🚗High or low sex drive?

HIGH!!!!! to the point where the whole kingdom is kinda familiar to some capacity his sexcapades. no one even bats an eye.

💋Do they like kissing? Anywhere in particular?

GOD YEAH…. he loves kissing so much. everywhere is preferred but he really enjoys neck kisses (giving and receiving), thigh kisses (giving), and cheek kisses (receiving—though which cheeks i’m referring to is up to you LMAO)

💊Are they vigilant about birth control and safe sex, or more flippant?

flippant. firstly, this is my fantasy world and if i say idc about worrying about safe sex and stds then if be like that. 🤷🏽‍♂️ but also, ricaud has a magic vasectomy because of a magic sword he pulled that helped him become king (tl;dr, he king arthur’d got the sword in the stone but the sword came with a few magic rules and stipulations; one of them is that so long as you wield the sword you will never be able to conceive heirs to your bloodline and that’s so totally fine by him he was practically yanking that thing out on that ALONE. so he magically has perma-birth control unless he decides to re-seal his magic sword and he’s not doing that anytime soon if not ever. he, his mage hyhfrit, and his knight gleriath are also the only people who know about this clause of the sword lol.)

↕️Do they prefer to bottom (be penetrated) or top (do the penetrating)? Both? Neither?

pretty much 90% a top; he does enjoy getting his ass played with mind you but he loooooves making other people feel good so if it’s penetration related he’s doing the penetrating lol. the only time he’s really been bottom as far as i’m currently aware is (1) when he “slayed” two dragons (he got dp’d by two literal dragons to convince them to not burn down the kingdom tm) (2) gleriath, his right hand knight and best friend has topped him before. but despite what most people assume about him, gleriath very much enjoys servicing his lord in all manners of the word. cough.

🧘Favorite position?

he has a favorite position for each of his lovers so i’ll quickly list ‘em:

gleriath (his knight, best friend, bodyguard, always by his side at all times) -> missionary. gleriath gets really embarrassed about his expressions and being seen but ricaud is in love with him and wants to see every expression he makes

calohan (his favorite royal advisor who is NOT trying to coerce him into getting married) -> sitting on his lap either facing him or away from him. he actually finds the sitting up-reverse cowgirl enjoyable because that usually means calohan is in the middle of doing something important and he likes to see how long it takes for calohan to get distracted lmao

teise (his court jester) -> reverse cowgirl leaning up against his chest; especially on his throne and especially with his fingers in his mouth and his hand on his clit {teise is transmasc}. though to be fair he has a LOT of favorite positions with teise he just kinda tosses him around like a ragdoll

prince lisanet (the brother of the princess his royal court is trying to get him to marry. every time he visits their kingdom SOMEHOW he ends up in the prince’s chambers) -> face down ass up. the prince finds it humiliating in a turn-on kind of way (it’s the juxtaposition of being in a position of power and the expectation to be chaste but fucking like a dog. tm) and ricaud finds him cute and breedable like that SO

nareth (an eleven royal that ricaud chances upon and has a 6 month sex vacation with that almost led to him being declared a missing person lol—) -> spooning. nareth is very touch starved when they and ricaud meet so they want as much skin to skin contact as possible with him. ricaud is EXTREMELY happy to oblige

morsa (a milk maiden who ricaud uh. milks. cough) -> bent over and braced against something; usually leaning over her back to reach her cock. sooo much cumplay with these two actually.

rivant (an assassin of an organization that wants to depose ricaud. even though he’s the one who got the closest to the king, he uh. is also not immune to the king’s charms. and dick) -> dp’d between him and gleriath. getting the sarcastic assassin strung out and boneless is Quite Enjoyable for him.

queddred & quadorrat (the dragons hired by an evil sorceress to try and kill ricaud. they found a different agreement though) -> one in his ass, one in his mouth = bliss. he didn’t know he was a size queen until he was presented with magic dragon cock LMAO

astonna (said evil sorceress who ricaud ends up lowkey domesticating after her plans keep failing bc everyone is addicted to his dick. apparently she is no better) -> lays back and lets her ride OR amazon position. she likes to be in control and take what she wants to feel like she’s in charge and not like everyone else who got wooed by his stupid pretty eyes, charming demeanor, and amazing bedside manner. she is lying to herself, of course, but ricaud only wants to indulge her 💛

👄Oral sex? Giving or receiving?

Yes.

📺Do they enjoy porn and/or erotica?

unsurprisingly yes! he loves orgies and likes watching others get off or get fucked in front of him. despite being “annoyed” (only in jest) that his personal mage, hyhfrit keeps refusing his advances, watching hyhfrit and gleriath fuck was a Transformative experience for him lol.

♟️Favorite sex toy(s)?

yknow he doesn’t really have any. the way i’m keeping this “true to times” is that there’s not much by way of the types of sex toys we have now (though certain things like restraints and blindfolds exist)—though if he lived in our time/world he would have an entire sex room with toys galore i won’t even hold you. of the things available to him, blindfolds are actually something he quite likes especially on himself; the sensory depravation is enjoyable ;3

🎶Do they have a sex playlist?

the sound of his lovers’s moans 💛

👯Threesome? Foursome? Orgy?

YES. PLEASE. i still gotta get more details down of this “fertility festival” that he spearheads the creation of but best believe he’s got multiple people in his bed at once that night

🫂Was it hard to come to terms with their sexuality, or did they embrace sex from the beginning?

ricaud actually has quite a lot of Trauma and fully throwing himself into all aspects of Love and Sex was actually his response to it. his father was a tyrant and dictator (literally) and ricaud ended up having to kill him when he was just 17, to tl;dr it but when he and his sister grew up their home was devoid of love, care, safety, and compassion; so he craves it. it’s much healthier now than it was when he was younger bc now he’s more healed from them, but he always pretty much knew that he wanted desperately to be loved and to be shown a tangible form of love so physical contact and eventually sex became really important to him to feel cared for.

🏳️‍🌈How does their sexual orientation impact their relationship to sex and kink?

so, if i had to label him with modern terminology, i’d say that he’s a polyamorous pansexual non-monogamist at the broadest sense of the term. i kinda specify both polyamorous (loving multiple people at once) and non-monogamist (not interested and generally incapable of having a one person relationship) just because of the whole “the council wants him to settle down and have a wife even if he has lovers on the side” but ricaud is more like “if i can’t marry multiple wives/husbands and have them all be the same level of political and societal importance then i’m not getting married at all” bc his circumstances are kinda Like That. because of his whole non-monogamy thing, it actually sometimes prevents him from pursuing certain people in a sexual sense. to put it in perspective with an example ig, he actually wouldn’t have a problem sleeping with the princess of hellefrie that his council wants him to marry, princess lyneviana, BUT he is aware that she would want to be More Important than his other partners and he simply isn’t willing to do that. basically, there is no relationship hierarchy to him. if you decide to be his lover than you have the same level of importance to him as someone who he’s arguably been with for longer, like gleriath. if morsa is having a terrible day and needs his affection and love then he’s going to drop everything for her, no different than if calohan is stressed and needs a listening ear. and if multiple people need him at once, HE’LL MAKE IT WORK DAMMIT. he can’t bring himself to be with someone who doesn’t get that even if he would Really REALLY like to fuck them. so like even though that’s not a “traditional” sexuality label it affects how he goes about sex and whatnot for him.

the pansexual mostly affects how he’s uhhhhh very open to nonhuman lovers p much. if it’s sentient and down to fuck he’ll fuck. DHDHDH

🤝Would they consider a "friends with benefits" situation? With who?

pretty much most of his relationships now started as fwb and transitioned into a more steady partnership of some kind on each lover’s kinda individual terms (the exception kinda being queddred & quadorrat bc that was more of a one time thing but if it weren’t for the laws of this land— sorta similar thing with nareth; elves can’t really leave the enchanted forest nor can Most magical beings sans like wizards and sorceresses and those who they make paths for and the like and time passes differently there so when ricaud went ‘missing’ in the enchanted wood he thought it was only a few days but it was actually 6 months whoops—he does still keep in contact with nareth and wants to go back to see them but being a king and not having a Sure Way to tell time in the forest has kinda prevented it. it’s something hyhfrit has been working on among other projects for him. RAMBLING ASIDE THO) basically ricaud is open to fwb with anyone lol. if it becomes more then it becomes more 👀

🥸How do they feel about hook-ups and casual sex? Would they ever seek out sex from a stranger? How would they react if propositioned?

he loves hook ups and casual sex, he loves being intimate with people in general regardless of how well he knows them. he’s sought it from strangers and he’ll do it again, and he’ll strip faster if he’s propositioned by someone LOL

✨Would they ever go to a sex club? Alone? With a partner(s)?

to a brothel you mean? yes & yes.

but in a more modern sense he would also go to a sex club; he’d be a regular member at several

💗How often do they masturbate, if at all?

actually he doesn’t that often—if he’s horny he goes and finds someone to have sex with. it’s not because he has an issue with masturbating it’s just hard for him to finish if he’s alone. he NEEDS another presence there and to interact with to get off lol

🤪How crazy is their O-face (the expression they make during orgasm)?

honestly not suuuuper crazy but with the dragons it was VERY wild (there was a lot going on ok)

🔥What's the state of their sex life? Are they happy with it?

very active and VERY fulfilling. it’s honestly his dream to have it as active as it is now and he’s honestly looking to keep expanding it (meaning i gotta think of more characters LMAO)

🎤Are they good at communicating their needs?

pretty good yeah! he’s generally a good communicator and he has very little shame whatsoever so if he wants something he’s definitely gonna ask

💌What do they seek out in terms of sexual compatibility?

i think probably (1) willingness to bottom—like i said he’s usually a top except on rare occasions so masc or femme, if you’re willing to buss it open then yall are good to go (2) open to affection during the act. there are some people who are strictly business about it like in the hole, cum, out, and he’s just not into that. he wants to laugh and talk and kiss and cuddle while fucking, the whole nine. (3) generally attractive to him—but he finds most people attractive tbh so that’s not hard lol (4) good personality. does he like talking to you? yes? let’s FUCK!!!

🩷Do they prefer soft sex, or rough sex?

of the two, soft. he’s down for rough sex but he likes sensuality a lot so softer sex is always a huge turn on for him

💯When a partner says "do anything you want to me," what do they do first?

kissing down their neck, leaving hickeys, and grinding against them until they’re wet and begging him to quit teasing <3 then he’s getting his mouth on some sort of genitalia

🌌What's their "best night ever"? Have they had one yet?

he has a few for differing reasons:

first time he and gleriath fucked -> it was his first time in general, they were young and confused and scared but very much adoring of each other and so that night while a lot of fumbles happened is still really special to him

dragon sex -> i mean yeah there’s nothing else to explain fr it’s the most exotic and wild sexcapade hes ever had and it feels Extremely unreal that he got to experience that at all

being magically restrained and made (consensually) to watch gleriath and hyhfrit get it on -> he’s never not been allowed to touch or participate but it opened his mind to how actually fucking hot it is to see other people having sex too and it helped solidify that he just loves love and he just loves sex in his brain so hooray for self discovery!!

astonna and he’s first time -> astonna has been a one-sided antagonist to him for many years, and finally getting to the point where they were able to sit down and talk about her grievances but then also he could show her that he wasn’t a bad guy in a variety of ways… he really felt like That Moment encapsulated his personal belief that love and conversation will pave all paths to good fortune <3

👎What was their worst night ever?

he had a fwb (stranger) ask him to degrade them during sex and it was his first time experiencing it and he’s down to try most things once. so he said yes but when it got to the point of saying “mean” shit while they were fucking he couldn’t do it and kept pausing the scene to make sure they were okay;;;; it’s how he learned the kink wasn’t for him and the person took it well (he also still got them to cum tho so it’s fineeeee) sooooo yeah. worst night in comparison to other times he’s had

👂Are they into dirty talk?

HELL YEAH. very much more the giving side—he loves to tell people what he wants and how good they look and exactly how he’s gonna give it to them until they’re squirming and begging and then he makes good on those promises

🛏️Do they like pillow talk?

yeah 🥺🥺🥺🥺 its a must for him frfr

🏃Are they confident about pursuing sex?

extremely. it’s bc his dick is magic. (jkjk—unless—)

🔢How many sexual partners have they had? How many do they have now?

overall? god that’s too many to count. of his MAIN partners currently tho, he has 6 (7 if i include nareth; not including the dragons bc that was a one time thing p much)

💖Favorite erogenous zone on themself? On others?

on himself it would be his wrists and the back of his neck (and his back in general). on others its p much whatever makes them scream the loudest, but he does think nipples and thighs are >>>>>

😍Do they see themself as sexually desirable?

very much so. he is very much Not Lacking in confidence LMAO.

🦵Favorite non-sexual body part on themself? On others?

on himself, perhaps his hands (though whether or not that's sexual is subjective). he more enjoys the stories behind their scars and callouses and he appreciates how much he's been able to do with just his own hands. on others, it's hair (definitely subjective because hair definitely CAN be sexual to him but he does enjoy it generally without sex attached). he thinks how a person styles their hair really says a lot about them and their personality so he enjoys it for that reason.

❤️‍🔥Do they know their sexuality intimately or are they repressing some (or all) of their desires?

he knows his sexuality very intimately. but to be fair he's had years of time to discover himself, what he likes and what he doesn't.

⛓️How important is kink in their sex life?

kink isn't terribly... important? he's fine with very vanilla sex in terms of doing the actual act bc like i said before for him it's more about the intimacy of being close to someone. the more wild and outlandish things are definitely fun, but if he can just enjoy his partner's body and presence that is more than enough for him.

though you Could make an argument that everything he does is 'kinky' to some extent bc of his whole, non-monogamy thing.

❤️How did they discover their favorite kink(s)? && 🧭How adventurous are they in the bedroom? Would they try something they'd never done at the drop of a hat? Would they automatically refuse? [cuz these basically lean into each other]

in general he is a very much "try everything once to see if you enjoy it" type of person; the only things he really turns down are things relating to violence and things he already kind of knows he won't enjoy based on other kink experiences.

🤔Is there a kink or other sexual experience they've never been able to try, but want to?

he is curious to what it would feel like to have alternate genetalia; a pussy instead of a cock and soft round breasts instead of the hard planes of his chest. he's very secure in his gender and masculinity so this isn't like a "he's secretly trans" type of thing but he can't help but want to know what its like. for instance, would he enjoy bottoming more if he had those parts? (not that he dislikes bottoming or anything, but would the experience be heightened in some way, or dulled?) he's just generally curious about it. he COULD PERHAPS try and convince hyhfrit to mess around with his anatomy if he really wanted to give it a go but he isn't sure he's willing to commit to whatever side effects of that there would be lmao.

‼️What's the kink most people would be surprised they have?

i think people are usually a bit surprised when they discover he has a praise kink (receiving). to you and i that might seem pretty obvious, but to others he constructs his entire persona around being the ultimate lover and carer, a playboy but softer if you will? so to know that he can be just as affected by words of affirmation and praise and devotion in a more "good boy" way and less of a "yes daddy" way (for lack of distinction lmao) can surprise some people. but many of his lovers are more than happy to oblige <3

⁉️What kink did they surprise themself with?

again. the dragon thing. he just was not expecting that to turn him on so much. he thinks about it uhhhh way more than he'd probably like to admit and if he didn't have reason (gleriath), practicality (calohan), and sanity (hyhfrit) on his shoulders telling him NO he'd probably be wandering the magic woods looking for willing monster fuck buddies as we speak EDFBCK. i think he deserves many a good romp with some monsters frfr free my mans.

🙊Are they embarrassed about any of their kinks?

the dragon thing, a bit just because it is so foreign to him but with experience he'd definitely get over it. but in the most part no, he's pretty shameless generally speaking.

💞Dom, sub, switch? Do they like to play with power dynamics?

veeeeerrrrrryyyy soft dom. kinda goes back to the degrading thing that he's not really into, and the desire for like love and passion and all that, so he doesn't mind taking charge but he's not necessarily the "dom" that we would think of; unless you're thinking of a soft dom then yeah he's that. he's somewhat of a switch, but not often enough to claim that title.

🫴What do they need from their Dom/sub?

from his subs he only wants 2 things: their love (in whatever form that may take) and their pleasure. whatever that looks like. he is in the business of love making and he wants to pleasure them until they can barely stand it. he'd make a GREAT incubus tbh.

🗨️Favorite titles (Master/Mistress, pet, toy, etc.) for themself? Their partner(s)?

'my lord' is an easy favorite, especially when said with affection. 'your highness' is mostly amusing to him from prince lisanet and teise so he enjoys it from those two specifically. 'love' from morsa; she just has him wrapped around her finger fr. 'my king' will produce a especially violent but loving burst of affection from him if gleriath says it (he's been calling him that since they were young and its the most ardent form of i love you that his knight has to say and how is he NOT supposed to jump him when he says that???). calohan also calls him 'my headache' affectionately especially when ricaud does something that he knows he's going to have to clean up later LMAO. prince lisanet also has a habit of calling or referring to ricaud as 'stag' because the two go on Many hunting trips together *wink wink*

for his partners (you KNOW its list time again!!):

gleriath -> my knight, my sword, or my keeper are all ones he tends to default to; though there is a certain indulgence he gets out of saying his name outright ie; sir gleriath.

calohan -> i haven't come up with his formal title bc obvs as a royal advisor, calohan is nobility of some kind; but duke of (insert place here) is how he usually refers to him especially around others; its like a little inside joke between them even though it "shouldn't" be because that's how he refers to all advisors. its all about the tone of voice and the meaningful look when he says it.

teise -> 'little tease' obviously, because teise is pronounced 'tease' (lmao that's literally why i picked the name PFF). 'doll' or 'marionette' or 'nettie' or 'maria' are all common as well

prince lisanet -> 'princeling', 'your highness' (especially when the prince is in the face down ass up position because the Juxtaposition Okay), 'doe' to go along with the prince calling him stag.

nareth -> he actually doesn't have that many for nareth, because the wonder of saying their name is kinda >>>>

morsa -> often calls her 'my lady' or 'lady of my heart' especially when buried to the hilt! :D

rivant -> 'little thief' is common (though rivant always protest that he's not stealing anything, to which gleriath will reply you can steal lives, where ricaud is more of the 'you stole my heart!' variety lmao. the duality of man)

astonna -> he doesn't quite have one set title for her, though he does come up with increasingly grandiose things to call her such as 'my divinity' or 'my heavens and earth'. its very cheesy but she enjoys it and she hates that she loves it EIDFKBCN

🍵What do they do for aftercare?

cuddles, affirmations, getting food/drink, making sure they're bundled up and any marks or soreness is addressed. he's very attentive overall :)

👔Do they dress up for sex (lingerie, collar, maid dress, suit and tie, etc.)? What's their favorite outfit?

he can! if his partner has a specific outfit that they want him to wear or a specific fantasy they want him to fulfill he's veeeeery indulgent. prince lisanet tends to be the one doing the most dressing up because he has uhhh wildly specific fantasies that ricaud finds both endearing and amusing. he himself doesn't really have a favorite fit bc he really prefers to be naked at all times. if it weren't for the council's continuous disapproval of him trying to make laws of this land, he would make it so clothes were optional in public spaces PFFF

🙌Do they prefer praise or degradation? A mix of both?

PRAISE. degredation isn't on the scale at all.

😖Are they a huge tease, or the one being teased?

prefers to do the teasing, but is never against when he is teased <3

❤️‍🩹Sadism or masochism? Both? Neither?

this one kiiiiinda falls in his he's not really into violence or negative heighteners of feelings during sex, however he can be a bit sadistic in terms of stamina, if that makes sense? prolonged orgasms and overstimulation are definitely things that he enjoys and that can be its own kind of sadism in a way though he does try to be mindful of his partner's limits and when its ow it feels good to OW stop right now!!! yknow lol.

🧛Are they into biting others? Being bitten?

yes and yes <3

👀Exhibitionism or voyeurism?

YES.

🙈Do they have any particularly taboo kinks? Age-play, fauxcest, race-play, etc.?

he's a bit into somnophilia or the whole sleep sex thing. its with specific partner's tho for both giving and receiving cuz obvs it requires a lot of Trust tm.

🏙️How far would they go in public?

all the way lmao which is why the fertility festival exists PFFFF

🏰Sex drawer in their dresser, or kink-dedicated sex dungeon?

his room in the palace is technically a kind of dedicated sex dungeon soooooo 👀

🆓Free use? For themself or their partner(s)?

YES for both

🚦Do they have a go-to safe word? Do they use other kinds of signals?

for him it's 'poppies' for whoa slow down we might be reaching some not great territory for me. and then 'lily of the valley' for stop and regroup. he's never had a sexual experience go so south that he lily of the valley'd and then completely removed himself from the situation but he has used it more when he's feeling like. trauma feelings coming up (with the ptsd and all) and he needs a second to Get a Grip.

🎀Bondage? Ropes, leather cuffs, nylon, or something else? Are they the rigger or the rope bunny?

bondage >>>>> super into it. at some point he'll really get into some sort of shibari equivalent because tying people up is one thing, but when the ropes are pretty... that's another story. bc of the setting rope for tactile bondage & magic for non-tactile bondage scenarios (these happening only from that one time hyhfrit fucked gleriath in front of him, and some of the times that he and astonna play since they're the two magic users he's boned for now LMAO). he is both a rigger & rope bunny.

🤕What kind of pain are they into, if any?

only into like. dull and unintetional pain that comes from being a bit rough. like soreness after a lotta fucking or some spanks, hickey bruises or restraint marks, and scratches down the back are kinda his limit.

🔪Are they into weapon-play? Knives, guns, etc.?

extremely no lmao.

⚠️Are they into consensual non-consent (CNC)? Which role do they prefer? Any particular scenarios?

not really? he'll kind of dabble with it in a very very lose roleplay way (ie: with astonna he's had a 'oh your evil plans have won and you captured me' roleplay on a few occassions, and with lisanet, he's had a 'i'm the big bad king who captured you now' tm) but like nothing actually HARD cnc. he doesn't have much of a preference, this is one of those things where he can get into it bc his partner is into it but he doesn't seek it out bc its a kink he specifically has.

🫁Do they like breath play or choking?

nah that triggers ptsd for him baybee.

🩸Bodily fluids? Blood, spit, cum, piss, scat?

cum >>> spit >>>> piss (he's gotta be in a specific mood) > blood (only on accident like if it happens it happens but he's not fond of it) =/= scat is not for him lol

🙄Brat or brat-tamer?

tamer. he loves his brats <3 (rivant, teise, and prince lisanet lmaoo)

🔐Are they into orgasm control/denial? As the giver or receiver?

MY LONGEST YEAH BOI EVER TO BOTH.

🍫Would they bring food into the bedroom?

god yeah, he loves the decadence and indulgence of it.

🫄Are they into breeding or pregnancy?

breeding kink is SO STRONG with this one which is also why cum is a big kink of his. morsa is his biggest breeding fantasy indulgence with all the milking/cow/lactating imagery tm.

pregnancy in itself doesn't do anything for him tho. he's never wanted to be a father tho lol.

🦄Do they have any pure fantasy kinks, things that aren't possible in real life (or the world your story takes place in)?

technically anything he may dream of is possible he would just have to find someone willing to do it with him. a lot of the more outlandish kinks he has reason, sanity, and practicality (gleriath, hyhfrit, and calohan) holding him back tho lmao.

🩺Are they into medical play? As the doctor or patient?

he's not into it in the sense that he wouldn't seek it out, but he has had sex due to or after injuries sooooo if that counts?

🧊Temperature play? Hot or cold?

hot. he loves wax play and hot oil

🕯️Wax play? Scented candles or plain?

both! he's pretty spontaneous and grabs whatever is available at the time. if he's in his room at the palace he has Many scented candles for the occasion but on the go, he'll make do.

🌿Are they into intoxication or forced intox? Which substances?

this kind of falls into the realm of using magic in sex and he hasn't dabbled with it as much as he'd like but in the times he has he's enjoyed the aphrodisiacs he's consumed or had fed to him. astonna tends to be the main one he's tried this out with bc its the compromise of doing it in a relatively safe environment.

🖊️Body writing? What would they write on their partner(s)? What would they want written on them?

he's not super into it but he does find it interesting; he's seen it a bit when he's gone to brothels and he's like "huh. neat" about it lol. no positive or negative feelings.

🙇Are they into body worship? For themself or others? Do they like to worship a specific body part?

his entire partner's body is a temple and he is but a pious, grovelling sinner begging for a Crumb. i need to make him a religious monk or nun to get it on with it is a necessity cough. anyway, its mostly for others. he's a very giving lover and there's really no specifics, he wants to worship everything.

🪮Do they like hair pulling, or pulling a partner's hair?

partner's hair >>>>>>>

🙏Are they into begging, or making someone else beg?

he loves when his partner begs but he also loves "dominant begging" -- idk how to explain it but basically when like the dom is all like "please baby i need you so bad" type of energy

🔮Are there any unique or fantastical aspects of sexuality in the world of your WIP that they engage in? Non-human characteristics, magic?

magic and magical creatures to a certain extent are the main things that exist in this world. its again kinda king arthurian + magic + ren's usual nonsense adjacent. mostly the main fantastical elements that ricaud (or anyone) interacts with is the wizards/mages/sorcerers whatever tf im calling them that are able to exist between the enchanted woods and the human lands tm. i don't really know the specifics of this dynamic yet, but magical potions and aphrodisiacs are probably the most common thing that people interact with, as well as occasional magic users who can use spells during sex.

🗺️Does their culture have a strong impact on their sexuality? Which parts?

in some ways the backdrop is still like a 15th century arthurian vibe of court (and i KNOW kind arthur is more 12th century but like as usual i am pulling from multiple vibes bc this is a fantasy world anyway i do what i want) so especially with the nobility and elders, there is more pressure to be traditional, despite the things that are very much outside of that realm. however, bc i am who i am, i have people of all flavors and variety of colors and queerness. so like for some people, it does like take a toll on them to like live the right way, but in ricaud's case bc he's king he and bc he's so jaded that it circled back around into optimism and a love of life, he just kinda doesn't care about society's expectations.

👪Did their family or how they were raised impact their sexuality? How?

sort of--ricaud's father like i think i mentioned at some point in this giant mass of text, was a tyrant, dictator and abuser to his family and all other manner of shitty things. because of this, ricaud grew up craving love and affection and found that love and compassion were the strongest drivers of how he wanted to live his life; as he never wanted to return to the cold and unloving (at the bare minimum) way things were under his father. so it kind of contributes to his pansexual, love seeking tendencies even if he's always kind of been Like That anyway. its a combo of nature and nurture.

💏How do their past relationships impact their sexuality?

⛪Does their faith impact their sexuality? In what ways?

📕If there was a book about their sexuality, what would it be called?

'if you can't beat 'em, fuck 'em (literally): a guide to overcoming your adversaries with the power of your magnum cock" by king ricaud of concordia.

📢How private are they about their sex life and sexual preferences?

literally not private at all the entire kingdom knows what's going on with him lmao.

🪨Do they identify with stone sexuality? Have they in the past? ("Stone" refers to not wanting to receive any sexual touch and/or only desiring sexual touch in specific ways with specific partners. Popularized by Leslie Feinberg in Stone Butch Blues.)

nope

😤Do they seek out sex when angry or frustrated? Would they offer sex to a frustrated partner?

he's more likely to offer sex to an angry or frustrated partner. it's not that it's "hard" to get him angry; its just that if he gets that pissed off, he starts reminding himself of his father which is Trauma and that's always a boner killer.

🍷What never fails to get them "in the mood"?

smile at him and bat your eyelashes and look like you wanna get fucked he'll stroll over to you in a heartbeat.

🕳️Would they ever use a glory hole? Have they used one before?

yes, and yes :)

😭Have they ever cried during sex? What happened?

he's only ever cried once during the dragon incident (over stimulation) but only really in front of gleriath, but it didn't have much to do with sex and more to do with having flashbacks in the midst of it and gleriath is one of the people he feels comfortable breaking down like that around. he does eventually get to that point with his other partners but even in general he doesn't like people seeing him like that :((

💵What are their feelings on sex work? Have they ever done sex work, or paid a sex worker for services?

he has spent much of his reign fighting for the rights of sex workers ngl; he feels like for all the practical reasons sex workers obviously benefit the economy and outlawing them just means people will practice it in dangerous ways and that's money that could go to the kingdom soooo you see how the math isn't mathing?? but on a personal level, he thinks that you shouldn't be degraded for something as trivial as your occupation.

he is a frequent brothel goer (especially in his younger years when he had less partners and less responsibilities) and brothels LOOOOVE when the king is in town <3

👃Are there any scents that arouse them? Do they wear a scent to arouse their partner(s)?

nothing specific when it comes to what he wears though musk and sweat is something that he is shamelessly horny about; astonna does tend to wear scent based aphrodisiacs when she wants to be more coy about wanting ricaud's advances, but she's not subtle because neither is he LMAO

#s: king concordia #this took FOREVER but it was really fun and enlightening to do #i’m just spinning him in my brain <3 #thank u again annika for this GREAT game and i highly suggest you do it or any of his for ur ocs #she's got a Great Mind tm

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personality-corner · 9 months ago

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How to Avoid Mistyping

I’ve actually wanted to make a post like this for a while, I just hadn’t really gotten to it yet. Here’s how to know if you’re mistyping a character.

Mistyping vs. A Differing Opinion

When it comes to fictional characters, a lot of it comes down to interpretation, which means there will always be a level of differing opinions when typing a character. However, I do think it’s undoubtable that some types don’t fit characters at all.

At the end of the day, it comes down to argument. Does your argument make sense? Is it understandable to those who aren’t inside your mind? Is it obviously biased.

And here’s the thing- everyone has bad arguments. I’ve had bad arguments, even on this page. However, I am making this post, to maybe help people to think more critically about their arguments.

Are you grasping at straws trying to defend your opinion?

Honestly, this is a good sign that you are mistyping a character. Does it feel like you are trying way too hard to defend your typing of a character, like you can’t come up with any good arguments for it?

This could mean one of two things; you need to rewatch or reread the material you’re typing from or you need to consider a different type for them. Now, I would definitely rewatch or reread said thing first, because there have definitely been times I thought I was mistyping a character when in reality, I just didn’t remember enough about a character to type them appropriately.

But you should at least consider the fact that you’re mistyping a character if you’re struggling to construct an argument.

“This type would not do that!”

I do think there are times when this is appropriate, for example, when discussing a character’s actions, saying “this character’s interest in their environment really gives more Se than Ne.” However whenever I hear XXXX would never do that! It grinds my gears.

Usually, when people say this, it’s highly stereotypical, because technically speaking, each type is capable of anything… it’s why they’re doing it, what’s going on in their head that matters. Now is it unlikely for, say, an Si dom to make impulsive decisions? Perhaps, but it’s not that they can’t. In fact, some of the ISTJs I’ve typed have made very impulsive decisions when their Te or Fi kicked in.

Using your personal relatability to a character to determine their type.

Now this one, out of everything on here kind of annoys me the most. Now, there is nothing wrong with relating to a character and considering the type for them. However your relatability to them also cannot be your only argument to why they fit that type, because you don’t have to be the same type as that character to relate to them.

I’m an INTP, and there are plenty of ISTJ, INFP, ISTP, hell even ESFP characters I relate to. I also don’t think I’ve ever, at least not since starting this blog, have typed a character INTP solely because I find them relatable… in fact, it’s the second to last most typed on this blog.

Have you considered other possibilities for this character?

Typically, unless I’m really sure about a character’s type, I’ll consider at least a few types before deciding on one. I’ll keep these types in mind when watching something, and sometimes will decide on something completely different.

Obviously, you don’t have to do this, everyone’s system of typing is different, but the important thing is, don’t be so fixated on a particular type for a character that you refuse to see or listen to any other argument regarding them.

Don’t automatically assume a character is in a loop or a grip when you type them.

Now, saying a character is in a loop or a grip is not inherently wrong per se- but I will say, that I often see people use this to avoid typing characters certain types.

I have a post I’m working about on loops and grips, but I will say that if you can’t legitimize why a character wouldn’t be that type, even at their healthiest, it’s probably not a good type for them.

#mbti #mbti types

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1moreff-creator · 4 months ago

Note

Not related to DRDT, But I saw in your pinned post you like FNAF. If you haven't answered this before, which FNAF game is your favorite? Or who is your favorite animatronic/character? I like fnaf1 foxy :)

Yee FNAF! I might not talk about it here much, but it is the fixation that Always Comes Back for me, so I’m glad to have an excuse to ramble about it :D

Favorite game is a bit complicated because I haven’t played all of them (my computer couldn’t handle the FLAF demo it is not running Security Breach), but depending on the day, it’s one of FNAF 1, Sister Location or Help Wanted.

FNAF 1 gets a ton of nostalgia points, the atmosphere is immaculate, and the little story it has is fantastic, though without as much complexity as later entries.

Sister Location is horrible on the replayability department… except I count the Custom Night DLC as part of the game, and that’s pretty fun. The game itself is fine on a first play through, has pretty good atmosphere, and (in my opinion) beats FNAF 1 in terms of self-contained story, themes and narrative weight, wider lore and character building. Night 5 is (in my opinion) one of the best written segments of any FNAF game, both Real and Fake ending.

Help Wanted also beats FNAF 1 in terms of self-contained story (those tapes are genuinely an awesome evolution of the Phone Guy concept), and the introduction of Vanny is genuinely captivating (regardless of how much they fumbled her in later entries), but it also added certain elements to the overall plot that I don’t quite like the ramifications of (even if I tend to ignore the “in-universe games” debacle, I dislike what it represents for theorizing). In gameplay it’s generally better than SL, but it’s not as charming as FNAF 1. Though I feel my opinion of it would change if I could actually play it in VR, but alas, that is not my situation.

It’s hard for me to pick between those, frankly. Probably Sister Location though, I just like the characters too much…

What shit I forgot Into the Pit. Yeah no it’s Into the Pit probably. Even accounting for recency bias the game’s insanely peak lol. Still gonna leave those other three there, for posterity xD

Speaking of liking SL characters; Baby and Puppet are my favorite animatronics, though admittedly that’s more of an extension of my favorite characters being Charlie and Elizabeth (that order). Btw, FNAF 1 Foxy is a very good and solid pick, I respect it :D

I genuinely think Baby in Sister Location has an argument for best written character of the entire franchise bar maybe Movie Mike, and I am willing to defend that take. A ruthless killer born of horrible circumstances, yet compassionate at heart (see: the very fact she chose to form Ennard instead of leaving with Michael’s body on her own, “the scooper only hurts for a moment” line), in her eyes betrayed by those she saved because of being… well, a child.

Shame her character got absolutely assassinated in FFPS. Unless she was trying to manipulate William. I know it’s not ever even remotely suggested, but I genuinely would have no (serious) complaints about Baby’s character if that’s what she was going for in the “I will make you proud” speech.

As for Puppet, old fan favorite for a reason. It was always a standout of the cast, which obviously meant I loved them, and the exploration of its personality in UCN in particular is pretty cool. To be clear, my enjoyment of Charlie as a character is based on highly specific interpretations of certain lines, but when literally 90% of the story is up to interpretation, I feel that’s not too surprising.

In particular, taking Charlie as a deeply regretful person, who realized how badly she fucked up by reviving the children only after dozens of night guards had been killed and they’d already been trapped for years, with possibly hundreds of deaths on her hands, just trying to make things right again. And, just, so, fucking, tired, by the time Lefty happens (see: Lefty UCN lines). And don’t even get me started on the angst potential of being tortured by her supposedly loving father in the Bear Torture Contraption, the mistakes of her past haunting her because Henry sees her as the bloodthirsty night guard killer that no longer exists (see: she doesn’t attack Michael in FNAF 3), and hearing that he wants to “save her now” as she burns half-alive. Etcetera.

Again, hyperspecific. But I like it, so.

For the sake of completionism:

My favorite Silver Eyes character is probably Elizabeth/Adult Charlie/Baby (why is this character so hard to refer to).

Favorite Frights character is probably Eleanor. She’s just so sassy and girlfailure and somewhat intriguing she’s fantastic (or, at least, better than other Frights characters in my books).

Favorite Steel Wool Era character is Gregory if he dropped the elevator and probably Vanessa if he didn’t (I wonder what that says about me lol).

Favorite Mega Cat games character is Oswald (not that many to pick from tbf).

Favorite movie character is Mike. Just a really amazing spin on the already solid basis of Michael Afton.

Favorite Interactive Novels character is Ralph (is it cheating if I mainly like him cuz he’s Phone Guy?).

And… do I really not like any character from Tales? I don’t remember almost any of the stories very well, but I guess if I’d liked the characters enough, I’d remember them.

Since I don’t care about Edwin for now, I guess the Mimic is the only real option, but I’m not the biggest fan. I have hope Secret of the Mimic will sway me to actually caring about the guy, though! I’m already enjoying what we have of Jackie, because in case it wasn’t obvious by the fact I picked Eleanor over Jake or Larson, I kinda enjoy the fucked up clown women quite a bit! Mimic will never be Ennard, but he can get close, and there’s worse things to be than worse-Ennard.

Thanks a lot for the ask! I might have been wanting to write about FNAF more than I’d realized lol.

#fnaf #ask #reminder to ask me about any interest listed on my intro post if you want!#i have to update that lol

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acircusfullofdemons · 8 months ago

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ask game by @/maddgical-boy [link]. didn't answer some bc I either didn't feel like it or didn't have an answer.

how long have you been daydreaming for? (bonus if you can remember: what was your first daydream scenario/paracosm?)

Ever since I was a little kid. My teachers would always make a note along the lines of “good student, but daydreams way too much”. My memory is dogshit so I can only fathom what 6yo Luka was daydreaming about.

if your paracosm had a popular fandom, what do you think it'd be like?

Well. 2/3 of my main paracosms are technically fictparacosms, so I don’t have to imagine. But overall, a nightmare. I would probably get canceled for cursing out a fan lbr 💀

do you have any paracosms that aren't huge, but that you fall back on when The Time Is Right™️?

Yes! Crystalized Dragons & Life After Death are both paracosms that don’t have much, but I get fixated on them every so often and it’s a fun time.

WOULD YOU RATHER: have your daydreams projected onto a screen attached to your head at all times OR be entirely unable to daydream ever again for the rest of your life?

😳 how big is this screen ... cuz unless it’s phone size/easily coverable, yeah no just erase the daydreams from my brain.

how did you come up with your paras' names? did they come to you randomly or did you spend hours researching name websites?

Some are random/based on vibes, but I like to give their names meaning depending on what happens to them. And there are others whose name is a pun, because they aren’t tormented enough 😂

do you do extensive worldbuilding for your paracosms? if you do, what are some of your favorite elements?

yes … that is. nearly all i do, like 90% of my daydreaming is just lore shit ngl. there’s a lot of things I like about worldbuilding, but I guess the magic systems are my favorite since I think about them the most.

if your paras found out you were their creator, how would they react?

Not well, I’d imagine! I’ve put them through … a lot of shit. So. I think they’d take turns cursing me out and trying to kill me.

if you have a self insert/paraself, how similar are they to you?

Technically Calypso is a self insert, he was originally supposed to be one but then I thought he was better as an OC. I kind of still consider him one though, ngl. Anyway, he’s nothing like me at all!

Vincent, on the other hand, is much more similar to me. I’m not gonna state how, because yknow. Personal shit. But they’re more in line with being a self insert/paraself.

is there any time of the day where you can't/don't daydream?

… not really?? I guess during work, but unless it’s really busy (which it rarely is unless it’s the holidays) then yeah, I basically daydream all the time. Well, not like 24/7, I take breaks and get daydream blocks. And it’s not like I’m doing full daydreams either, most of it is just running on in the background, like a tv show.

are your daydreams linear and structured, or do you jump all over the place?

A mix of both! There’s a set story, but I jump around in said story.

what's a song you've been daydreaming to lately, and what's your favorite moment in said daydream?

My Alcoholic Friends by The Dresden Dolls. My favorite moment is during the lyrics “Should I choose a noble occupation? / If I did I'd only show up late and sick / And they would stare at me with hatred / Plus my only natural talent's wasted on my alcoholic friends” because the whole song reminds me of Salem but especially that part and by god are they a mess. That part in particular is them once again comparing themselves to Norman, wondering if she’d be better off getting a “normal job” like he has, but knowing that ultimately she’s not built for that life like Norman is.

do your paras age with you, or are their ages static? does it feel weird to be older than a para you were previously the same age as?

I used to have them age with me, but it fucked with the paracosm timeline a little bit so now I think they’re more “static”, though they still age in-paracosm. bc of timeline shit.

if you had the opportunity to leave this world and live in your paracosm forever, would you? why or why not?

Yes. I mean, ideally I’d be one of my paras, but sure I guess if I’m just me that works too. Why? Have you seen the fucking world lately. Anyway like always I’d choose to live in Phantasmagoria, even though I’d get killed within the hour.

(if you have multiple) which paracosm of yours is most grounded in reality? which is most fantastical?

Most fantastical is probably just Eternal Labyrinth as a whole. I don’t really focus a whole lot on realism in my daydreams — fantasy bitch through & through — but I guess my current MaaC AU “This Life is Mine” can be considered the most “grounded”, even though it’s a superhero thing.

do you move a lot when daydreaming, and if so, in what ways?

I pace, run around a little bit. Go crazy go stupid etc. But I try to mostly stay still by sitting or laying down so I don’t seem Weird.

have you ever wanted to make a piece of media of your paracosm (comic, animation, visual novel, novel, tv show, etc.)? what are elements that would be apart of it?

Oh absolutely! I truly believe a lot of my ‘cosms would work well as VNs, but I’ve also imagined some as animated shows.

when you actively want to start daydreaming, what is your mind's process? do you tune back in like it's a tv show? flip through imaginary files? let it come naturally?

I kinda tune back in with a mini “previously on”, otherwise it just comes naturally since they’re usually in the background of my mind.

do you ever daydream about yourself (not a self insert, just you)?

No. I used to, but it just felt weird.

what para would you absolutely hate in real life?

Oh…a LOT of them, probably. They are dumbasses, serial killers, and just terrible people after all.

when you experience a daydream block or crash, what are things you do to try and fix it? (or ways you cope. lmao i get it)

I try to consume new media to try and get some inspo or whatever. Most of the time I end up rewatching the same shit over and over again bc I got that flavor of brain that makes getting into new media hard for some reason.

for fictparacosms, do your daydreams affect how you perceive the media and/or the fandom?

Kind of. I don’t really engage with fandoms that much anymore, and yeah my fictparacosms tend to be why. They’re usually AUs so I already feel…insecure, I guess, sharing them. And I haven’t had good experiences with fandom in the past, either.

With the media it’s based off of, it’s typically something I got hyperfixated on, which means my daydreams are an outlet for that lol. Once the hyperxitation is over the paracosm tends to fade a little bit or disappear entirely (which is why I don’t typically talk about my fictparacosms — they’re so short lived). Still, when it’s active, there comes a point where I stop engaging with the media altogether in favor of the fictparacom. I might watch some clips here and there, but that’s about it I think.

if you ever write down things about your daydreams (truly anything at all — notes, dialogues, descriptions, etc), share a random snippet with no context.

I try to. I was a lot…better(?) at writing down my daydreams — and just writing in general, I guess — when I was younger. idk. I know I should document my daydreams more often, it’s just…hard.

if your paras had madd/daydreamed immersively, what would they daydream about?

Reverie does have MaDD! She daydreamed about having a daughter, though thinking of her daydreams is weird to me. I will say, Rev is the goddess of daydreams & imagination, and made her para daughter, Lucid/Lucinda real, making her the goddess of lucid dreams. idk thats kinda all I know.

I’m sure some of my paras would have MaDD, especially those in AM or have interacted with Arcaynis in some way. Oh, Jervis has MaDD! He has two paracosms: an aiw one, and one about magicians. I don’t really like putting my paras on the daydream spectrum, it feels weird to me lol like breaking the fourth wall in a way. Even if, realistically, a few would indeed be MaDDers/IDDers.

if you have tried to make your paras in character makers (picrew, meiker, etc), what is an aspect of your para that these makers never/rarely have?

An option for both horns and wings! Usually it’s either or (if an option at all). And the option to make the eyes different colors, or change the whites of the eyes.

are your daydreams clear in your mind's eye?

Depends on my energy level, but generally speaking, yes.

if you have multiple paracosms, what would it be like if they had a crossover?

Chaos. Pure, unadulterated chaos. My most fleshed out crossover AU is actually an apocalypse au, if that tells you anything. Granted, none of my paras caused the apocalypse, but still. Why can y'all only interact in an apocalypse goddamn.

#paraportal #luka.txt #madd ask game

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nightfallsupon · 2 years ago

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Letter I wrote to the 'doctor' in 2018. They did not listen, clearly.

...

“When a flower doesn't bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower.”

I believe it is society and your profession that is broken, damaged, callous, judgmental, stigmatising, pathologising, and trauma inducing.

And whereas the drugs you enforce on me may have helped me in the short term to block everything out, they have also made me most deeply unhappy and in incredible pain long term.

I’m sorry that you cannot see from my perspective, that your labels induce only pain for many people, including me, when you are so fixated on your medical model of jargon and belief that you know so much better than me because you are trained in psychiatry and the terminology, language and fixation on stigmatising labels you produce. I am not saying you in particular are like this, because I do not know you. But from my experience of psychiatrists they believe they know better than you, and they put you down by saying you lack insight because you disagree with the cruel and hurtful and damaging label they place upon your body, mind and spirit. My opinion is that you lack insight as to the reasons, and cause of my behaviour, because you have never really listened and heard the words that have come from my mouth. And because I am much better at expressing myself through writing then talking. Which is something you should understand. I have no one to stand up for me, so it is up to my to stand up for myself. And the most difficult thing in this is your lack of belief for my state of mind being able to make informed decisions for myself. So basically I am not allowed to decide what happens to my body because you say I, for lack of a better word, am too ‘crazy’ to make my own decisions.

I am longing for autonomy and credibility that you do not allow me. And the very nature of this wrecks me inside out, every single day. I am in so much physical and spiritual pain from the drugs injected into me every month, and your profession’s only thought is that these are helping me to be tame, to be well, to be normal.

I recognise that I have made desperate and bad decisions in the past which I obviously still feel terrible about, but I don’t believe I should be constantly reminded of these and that they should be held over me for a lifetime, let alone years. I should be allowed a fresh start, the very thing your profession refuses to offer - HOPE, with your constant notes and negative analysis. It has been seven years since this began, and shockingly I make my own decisions in life. I chose to make bad decisions in the past, and this will never happen again. Even prisoners get a chance at rehabilitation and starting over. The mental health system holds your mistakes over you for a lifetime.

You need to understand that you see yourself as helping me, but I see the hurt you place in my heart. The wreckage you do to my body and spirit. If you really wanted to help me, you would not expect me to just lay out my traumas on the table, with a massive lack of empathy from the majority of psychiatrists I have ‘worked’ with in my past. This is my body, this is my life, and I am asking you for a chance to make informed decisions on my OWN body. I am hurting deeply, and I cannot exist within a healthy and happy life, unless there is a change. The state of my life is as if I was a curtain who a person was clinging to with their full body weight, waiting for the dragging to fall. I don’t want to feel this way anymore, and I believe I should be given the opportunity and chance to go on oral medication. This would increase my joy for life so, so much more. I am currently finding my life unbearable on paliperidone right now. I don’t want to go on living if this is the way it is going to be from now on. I would rather die than continue on in this vane. I want the chance to be happy again, and if you cannot offer me hope that I do not have to continue having needles stuck into me and that I can regain some control over how I take my medication than I may as well give up now. I’m getting to the end of my tether, and I am so tired of fighting for the right to autonomy when few ever listen to me. It is cruel what has been done to me, and what is still being done to me, and I want to wake up in the morning without feeling horror and fear and deep sadness at what is being done to me.

I have been reading about the effects of being on paliperidone, and I know it has been proven to cause infertility. I want to have a baby in the near future and I am so afraid of what this has done to my body, and what it may do if I remain on it. No doctor tells you this when they put you on this drug, and personally I believe it is akin to chemical sterilisation. It puts a deep fear in me and is very traumatic to have to undergo a needle stuck in me every month when I know the very real effects of what it could be doing to my body. How can this be acceptable to enforce me to take such a drug when it could make me infertile. How inhumane could you be? Even pedophiles are not chemically sterilised. I certainly don’t deserve such treatment. How can you strip my ability to be a mother from me and still sleep at night?

Of course I can admit that I have experienced what you like to term ‘psychosis,’ in the past, but your labels and the way you operate with coercion does not help me, it just increases my trauma and ptsd every time you put me back in hospital. If you want to truly help me, then you will at very least try to understand my experience of the mental health system, and the extreme hurt I have felt throughout it by many different psychiatrists and drugs. A fact I have recently read is that if you experience five types of adversity in your life, you are over 190 more times likely to experience psychosis. So why doesn’t the majority of your profession believe in healing trauma based wellness?

The truth is my body has been a tool for men multiple times to get what they wanted. The truth is I have felt incredible pain in my life from many traumatic events that changed me as a person, and left lasting effects for decades. If you honestly believe that these events did not create in me unsteady reactions to fear and life in general, then you do not understand what it is to experience the things I have experienced. My behaviour is a product of my past, not a birthright. There is no such thing as chemical imbalance in the brain. You cannot even test for it. And if you keep telling people they will have to live with this illness for the rest of their life, then you are stealing hope from us. You need to see there is hope, and you need to realise this is only possible if the people who surround the person, who is suffering with how to deal with life and society and all the hurt that surrounds it, believe they can heal, and give them what THEY need to do so. Whether that is talking through what they have been through, or finding alternative therapies. Not just medication, the only medical model you seem to know.

My body is a temple, and I have researched the damage anti psychotics can do to your body long and short term. I know that they shrink the brain and I know that they can cause memory loss and even dementia later in life, and even you would say you are unaware of the lasting effects they will do to my body and mind. This has never been spoken about, just pushed under the rug, another thing that your profession deems unnecessary to speak about.

I’m not saying I want to come completely off of them, because that would be dangerous for my body, and mind, considering the side effects and withdrawal from coming off these drugs. But I would like to go on oral medication, as we have already tapered down the paliperidone considerably after working with Zoe, who had an open mind in helping me through this. I cannot remain within this damaging state of existence I now live in with the constant fear and pain of needles and massive side effects to my body and spirit from this drug. I have begun clenching my teeth while I sleep, my body’s way of dealing with the stress, and hurt I am under living this way. I also suffer from a loss in sexual feeling, a constant incredible unliveable pressure in my forehead, akathisia, memory loss, migraines, huge weight gain which I have to work so hard at the gym every week just to keep off, low blood pressure, when I stand up I get dizzy, which I never used to experience, I mean the list goes on.

The power you have over me and my life is immense, and my belief is that this power balance is inhibiting and tilted in your favour with your qualifications and regard as a recognised psychiatrist. I have been through some rough times in the past, and I know your paramount is taking my safety into consideration, but you are prioritising risk management over my health. Risk management; so cold, inhumanly placid, and calculating. I believe I am able to heal, I don’t believe this will stay with me for life, if I am able to find the right help and ways of dealing with my past trauma. I don’t believe your labels are correct, and you can call me lacking insight for saying this because that is your easiest point of call, not having to deal with and confront the truth that your education is hurting me, but the reality is I am the only one who knows what it is to live within my body. And only I am able to change my behaviour and my mind. Only I have the right to decide what I believe. You are welcome to your beliefs, but the words that you write, and the actions that you take, should never be to enforce these beliefs onto me. To say I lack insight, because I do not believe what you believe, well I didn’t think we lived in a dictatorship, but that is my experience of how your profession operates. And for you to take control of my body because I do not believe what you believe, well that is incredibly unjust. Just because within society, psychiatry is the first point of call, does not mean this is correct, and does certainly not mean what you have learnt, is helpful to every person on earth. Fifty years ago, people were still using straight jackets, and that was a common route of accepted reaction to people who behaved a little different than normalised society. And of course straight jackets are now considered utterly cruel and inhumane. Things clearly change, and I don’t believe the world will always accept what you dictate to your subjects. Because I have hope that people will see the real damage you are creating within so many people through every single psychiatric term that spills out of your mouth. Can you not see the hurt I carry with me from your words and your behaviour which treats me as a human test subject in a cage. I was treated like a human pinball machine when I was last in hospital. Told by the doctor he wanted to make me more quote ‘animated,’ because I was happier in my room escaping to the internet on my phone alone, because I did not feel comfortable in those hospital walls dealing with the obvious analysis so clearly engrained in the fabric of your imprisoned hospital system. You need to find the love in your heart, because only love, kindness, empathy and understanding are capable of healing a person at the very end of the day.

I hope, I pray, that you are not like the rest of them. I really do.

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fruit-of-infidelity · 2 years ago

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♱ DIABOLIK LOVERS: Haunted Dark Bridal ー Sakamaki Ryuuto | Maniac 07 ♱

⌜ Scene: Ryuuto’s Bedroom ⌟

Yui: …Gosh…

( Of all things… Making me dust his room? Didn’t Ryuuto-san say something about having servants to do all this? )

( Come to think of it… He’s been very particular about me being where he says, when he says more often than usual, lately. )

( He probably enjoys seeing me exhausted, rushing around like this… )

What a bully...

ー The door suddenly opens, and someone steps in. ー

Yui: …Ryuuto-san? I’m almost done in here.

Ryuuto: You’ve been in here an awfully long time, alone. You haven’t been lonely? Or up to something, perhaps?

You have quite the habit of snooping, after all.

Yui: I…! I didn’t snoop around.

…But, I do have to wonder something…

Ryuuto: What might that be?

Yui: …That painting, on the wall.

I noticed it as soon as I walked in; Why is it covered over?

( I can’t imagine Ryuuto-san covering over one of his own works… He seems way too proud to hang an uncompleted painting. )

Ryuuto: …Aah, that.

Once of my best most prized pieces... Though, let us just say, even Vampires are susceptible to paranoia.

Yui: Paranoia…?

( Ryuuto-san feels… watched? By his own painting? )

━─┉┈◈ Selection ◈┈┉─━

　　❈ I know how you feel...⎨M⎬

Yui: Feeling watched by something you hold dear…

Even I can understand that.

Ryuuto: …Oh?

Yui: Like whenever I attend Church.

Being in front of so many holy idols remind me that I’m always watched by God, no matter where I am.

And that can be a little scary… Even though I love him dearly.

Ryuuto: …Fufu, I suppose it is comparable even to that.

　　❈ It’s only a painting⎨S⎬

Yui: You must know it’s only a painting though...? It’s not like the canvas can come to life, so what’s there to worry about?

Ryuuto: ...How presumptuous.

You may as well call me ‘crazy’, as that’s what you’re trying to imply.

Yui: ...!

No, I didn’t mean...

Ryuuto: As if the likes of you would understand, anyhow.

━━─┉┈┈◈◉◈┈┈┉─━━

You see, that painting is… Hm?

Yui: …?

ー Footsteps approach in the hallway. ー

Ryuuto: ーーThis smell…

Yui: Smell? Ryuuto-sa…n!?

( …! H-He suddenly put his hand over my mouth!? )*

Ryuuto: …Silence.

Don’t make a sound. Not one. Unless you’re hoping to be passed around to someone else this evening…

Yui: …!

ー Richter enters Ryuuto’s bedroom. ー

Richter: …Aah, Ryuuto.

Ryuuto: ーーIs there something you needed, Father?

Yui: ( Richter-san… He seems fixated on Ryuuto-san. Almost like he doesn’t even notice me here… )

Richter: Must you ask? There is only one reason why I would be here.

Hand her over.

Ryuuto: I would happily do so… That is, if she were here.

Yui: ( ‘If’…!? Can Richter-san not see me? )

( Has… Has Ryuuto-san somehow made me invisible!? )

Richter: Don’t play games with me, boy. I can smell her.

Ryuuto: I’m not surprised; Scent tends to linger. She was here not too long ago, dusting just as I had instructed, after all.

It seems she must have moved on. Perhaps check the library?

Richter: …There is little time left before the awakening. I want to be certain that we haven’t gotten ahead of ourselves; That she is the one.

Ryuuto: ーーShe is!

Richter: How can you be so sure?

Ryuuto: …All the signs are there, aren’t they?

Richter: That is what I want to be certain of. I want to taste her blood.

Ryuuto: ーーThere is no need for that. I think I know what She tastes like.

Yui: …!

Richter: … …

Yui: ( He glanced my way! )

Richter: …I don’t appreciate your recent possessiveness over the human; I thought I taught you to share better than this, Ryuuto.

Ryuuto: Possessiveness? I beg your pardon, Iーー

Richter: You’ve always had a hard time coming to terms with second place, haven’t you? First me, then Laito.

Yui: ( Laito-kun…? )

( What has this got to do with Laito-kun? )

Richter: Don’t tell me your greed is a by-product of Her favouritism?

Ryuuto: … …

Richter: …Kuku.

ー Richter slowly heads toward the exit. ー

Richter: …Oh and, Ryuuto?

Keep that painting unveiled. How ill-mannered.

ー Richter snaps his fingers… and the covering is torn off. ー

Ryuuto: …!

…Of course, Father.

ー Richter exits. ー

Yui: ( The painting! Is that Ryuuto-san’sーー )

ー Yui’s heart loudly beats. ー

Yui: ーーKuh…!

???: 「 Ryuuto! Ryuuto! 」

Yui: Ryuu…to-sa…n!

Ryuuto: …You.

Come here.

ー He closes in on her. ー

Yui: N…No!

ー Yui struggles against Ryuuto. ー

???: 「 Don’t push him away, fool! 」

Yui: ( That voice… I-I can barely think, it’s so loud in my mind! )

Ryuuto…san…

???: 「 Come to me, Ryuuto! 」

ー The screen fades to black as Yui collapses… but Ryuuto catches her. ー

Ryuuto: I can hear you… Mother.

━─┉┈◈ Time Skip ◈┈┉─━

ー Yui regains consciousness… back in Ryuuto’s room. ー

Yui: Nn…

( My head… is pounding… )

( I’m… still in Ryuuto-san’s room…!? )

Ryuuto: Finally, you’ve come to.

Yui: You…

( He must have helped me into bed once I blacked out… )

Ryuuto: How are you feeling?

Yui: Well... Iーー

Ryuuto: Are you dizzy?

Yui: Aah… no, but…

Ryuuto: Nauseous?

Yui: No.

Ryuuto: Good. Then, enough words.

ー He begins to climb into bed with Yui. ー

Yui: Wh-What are you doiーー

ー Ryuuto suddenly kisses Yui. ー

Ryuuto: Mwah…

Yui: …!

( He’s kissing me! )

( My mind feels completely blank… )

( Ryuuto-san’s lips… His kiss is so tender, just like the first time… )

ー Ryuuto begins to undress Yui. ー

Yui: Mmf…!

( His hands…! He’s trying to get my top off! )

Haa...

( For some reason, I don’t want to stop him. )

Ryuuto: Nfu, that’s it… Hold me closer.

ー Ryuuto begins to undress himself too. ー

Ryuuto: You choose me, don’t you〜?

Yui: I…

( If I’m playing into him like this… )

( Do… I? )

Ryuuto: Feel me, Yui… Feel all of me.

Your body is already hot to the touch, and the smell of your arousal is… Fufu. You can’t help but imagine what’s to come, can you?

I’ve held back enough… I’ve taken your first bite, and your first kiss… And now, I’ll take you entirely; I can’t allow another to steal this from me.

Not them… Not either of them, not anyone.

Tonight, we’ll be one.

I’ll make sure it hurts… And in return, you’ll receive all the pleasure I can give. I’ll leave my lasting print upon you; Inside and out.

Yui: Nn…

( This is all so sudden, but… I can barely form the word ‘no’. )

( Ryuuto-san, I… )

( Want this? )

⌜Monologue⌟

“She is the one”.

ーーWhat on earth did Richter-san mean by that?

What’s more, the voice and Ryuuto-san mother…

I can’t help but feel that they’re somehow connected through me (連絡している).

Deep down… I fear I’m in terrible, terrible danger.

Despite that, tonight I gave Ryuuto-san my first time.

His fangs, his touch; It was painful and pleasurable all at once…

Most of all? I felt safe ( 安全 ) in his arms.

And to say that with my whole heart terrifies me…

✥ TO BE CONTINUED ✥

─────── ≪ °♛° ≫ ───────

← [ ✥ Maniac 06 ✥ ] ⎥ [ ✥ Maniac 08 ✥ ] →

━━─┉┈┈◈ Notes ◈┈┈┉─━━

　　1. Once again, another mirroring of Laito’s route. This mimics (in a sense) the scene in Laito’s route where he hushes Yui (and makes her invisible to the eye) upon Richter’s arrival/snooping around.

━━──┉┈┈◈ ◉ ◈┈┈┉──━━

#diabolik lovers oc #Diabolik Lovers #ryuuto sakamaki #sakamaki ryuuto #ryuuto sakamaki route #sakamaki ryuuto route #ryuuto route #haunted dark bridal #haunted dark bridal maniac #hdbryuutomaniac07

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bleachbleachbleach · 2 years ago

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Hello there! Idk have you ever talk about this or not, but I just found out a translation of an interview with Kubo called 'Bleach Jet' from local Bleach fanbase. One of the question said 'are the captains married? Since the only confirmed married one is Byakuya and he's actually younger than other captains'. Then Kubo answered 'well, tbh I never thought about it. But when I think it over, it would be sad if somebody as old as Yamajii is not married. So let's assume that they could be married, but it's just not necessary to be included in the story so I never write about it'. You know, I was so excited when I read it lok. In your opinion, which captains are apparently married? I only could imagine Ukitake since he's a perfect husband/daddy material (well I also want to know who's that lucky woman). But the others, seems kinda impossible lol. I'll be happy if you responded to my question. Thanks!

OH MAN. I’m interested in this in a couple of ways. The first way I am interested in this question is that neither of us had ever once wondered this. It did not even occur to us to wonder this, LOL. Too busy fixating on WHEELS, apparently.

Because of this, it feels like a magic trick, where the source material has asked you to look in a particular direction at a particular thing and sleight of hand (spouses) might occur before your eyes without you ever seeing it. I truly just took for granted that everyone would be single unless explicitly noted otherwise--Byakuya continues to be married to Hisana in his heart as the only married captain, until eventually Rukia joins him.

But it’s exciting to me that there could already be secret spouses who never came up simply because the narrative was never pointed in their direction. I’ve experienced this with people IRL before, and I think there’s plenty of precedent for this in Bleach itself, given that there are a fair number of shinigami with relatives whom we know to be alive and well and never meet.

For instance, Yoruichi’s brother seems really young, which suggests that their married parents might…? still be alive?? Unless they died tragically in the decades immediately preceding TBTP when Yuushirou was a baby, which I guess is equally possible and probably further justifies Soi Fon’s distaste for Urahara/her being high-strung about the kind of company Yoruichi keeps/depends on. Maybe the Shihouin Parents died when all of Soi Fon’s brothers did. 😬 (Speaking of family members it never occurred to me would have existed until we were told they existed…)

As for our currently or were-recently serving Gotei officers: In my mind, Yamamoto and Sasakibe were together. Not romantically—in a different universe, maybe, but in theirs the fact that Yamamoto is Captain Commander and Sasakibe is his VC precludes all else. Because this relationship exists, it forecloses all notion of other romantic partners, even as they themselves are not romantic partners.

I’ve always imagined Kyouraku and Ukitake having a different but kinda similar thing going on, though I’d be more willing to imagine that Ukitake also has a spouse out there somewhere than Yamamoto having one, re: your suggestion in the original ask. It makes me think about all of Ukitake’s siblings. I assume they’re all well into adulthood at this point but… how much do they know? About how Ukitake died? How much were they depending on his care (financially, family leadership-wise, family mediation-wise, etc.)? :(

One other person I could imagine having a spouse is Rose. Specifically, I could imagine him having had a spouse, past tense—pre-exile. If he were Seireitei-born to some middling noble house. Imagine with me a wife, and a noble marriage put together on the expectation that the line should continue by the birthing of children. It was arranged; they’re well-matched and get on quite famously. They have similar interests and pedigrees and if their marriage is not driven by fiery all-consuming PASSION, well, many marriages aren’t and they always have music to turn to if they’re in need of that kind of enchantment. When Rose was sentenced to death/exiled, his marriage was annulled and his wife was re-married to a different Outoribashi or related clan. I don’t think Rose would have wanted otherwise—it’s been 100 years now, and she and her new husband are quite happy; heirs were produced, etc.—but it’s still sad. The Vizard exile had more consequences than many in the Gotei will ever know, and more still that will never be written.

—

The second way I am interested in this question is that I actually really enjoy Soul Society as a place where social roles—specifically as they relate to romance, marriage, and children, in any case—are a lot less circumscribed than they are often understood to be in the mainstream of the Living World. If the prototypical narrative in the Living World is, say, "by age 20 you will be married to a spouse of the opposite sex and children will follow thereafter," that doesn’t seem like the case within the Gotei, at least from what we see, and I love thinking through potential factors.

Some baseline examples:

A billionty of the people in Soul Society weren’t born in the first place, and instead arrived.

Shinigami lifespans differ from humans and life milestones may not function in the same way (even as it seems like shinigami spend a LOT of time in what are optimal child-bearing years for us).

Shinigami biology also differs from ours, potentially in ways that matter--who knows what fertility is like for them.

It seems like shinigami are dying just like, all the time, which I can imagine genuinely altering baseline assumptions around what interpersonal relationships are like and what they mean.

I feel like there’s a lot of opportunity here for a lot of different types of relationships being much more normalized and understood alongside the marriage/children route. (And, additionally, the marriage/children route being more naturally understood as itself quite individual and rife with complexities that the boilerplate version of the Living World’s Notion of Marriage tends to leave out.) So that’s all very exciting to me.

What is the prototypical sexuality in Soul Society? Idk, all of them? What is the prototypical formal relationship arrangement? Idk, all of them? With probably more heterosexual coupling (or at least heterosexual-reading coupling), and more monogamy/marriage in noble circles, proportionally-speaking. I mean, I don’t think people getting married and having kids would be exceedingly rare, in the sense that Renji and Rukia probably weren’t making scandalous tabloid splash pages (though maybe on slow news days Hisagi has threatened this—idk I’ve never read WDKALY); but it feels like it would be one option among many, rather than the norm to which all other potentials are compared. I’m very enamored by the idea that D. All of the Above is Soul Society’s default in this one regard.

They might live under ridiculous authoritarian hierarchical military whatnot, but AT LEAST LOVE IS FREE.

#Q: which captains are married?#B3: clearly the place to start here is soi fon's dead brothers also rose has an exwife do shinigami get pensions what about their bereaved #i hope people are sending these in expecting that this is what will happen #thank you for the ask! i am now married to rose's ex-wife #shinigamiology #bleach headcanons #asks #no brain just bleach

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thefanficmonster · 3 years ago

Text

Casual

Ranboo x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None, unless talking about the future counts

Genre: FLUFF, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Following the arrival of the dreadful invitation to his cousin’s wedding Ranboo turns to the only cover-up he can think of to keep his still-single status hidden from his family.

Requested by Anon. Hi darling! Thank you so much for your wonderful request! I’m so glad you sent your idea to me and I’m so glad you were my first official Ranboo request. I’m really sorry it’s taken me so long to write it but I still hope you’ll come across it and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Heyyy, so Y/N, I have a favor to ask you...um yeah, call me back, it’s awkward sending it via voicemail. Bye“

Huh - that’s the first thought that goes through my head when I listen to the voicemail left after a missed call from my best friend Ranboo. The favors he usually asks for consist of requesting assistance for his videos in which I also appear with a mask and sunglasses to keep the brand running. I genuinely have nothing against my face being shown but when I think about it, I’m honestly a bit glad people can’t identify me.

Anyways, back to the favors, Ranboo is no stranger to asking me for them but they’ve never been considered too awkward for a voicemail which is why I’m no slightly concerned. I’ve been swamped with work for school and studies for the graduation finals for the past two weeks and it seems like I’ll never get on top of it and I know Ranboo’s been in a similar situation too, so maybe he needs help with that? He’s not used to asking help for school stuff, he sometimes even has a hard time accepting it when I openly offer it to him.

I eventually sigh, decide that playing this guessing game will not get me anywhere and settle on giving him a call as I make my way home from the gym with my legs barely putting up with the task of carrying me around.

He picks up on the second ring.

“Hey! Wh-...“

“Would you pretend to be my girlfriend for my cousin’s wedding next weekend?!“

My legs take that opportunity to stop moving in the middle of the sidewalk which is luckily void of any people at the moment. It’s not my fault my body’s first reaction was to freeze up at the question that came flying at me like an out-of-control jet, almost as though he’s been dying to say it and get it over with.

“Um...run that by me again please, I think I misunderstood.“ I say, blinking blankly as though awoken from a fever dream. No, actually as though I’m IN a fever dream right now.

“Ok, now that the cat’s out of the bag, wanna grab some coffee and talk about it face-to-face. I need to see your facial expressions to gauge what response to expect.“ He says, the previous nervousness gone and his voice calm as regularly once again.

I’m this close to face-palming but I squeeze my eyes tightly shut and bring myself to utter a reply, “Our usual spot. Be there in ten minutes.”

* * *

“No freaking way.“ I shake my head, folding my arms over my chest as I lean back in my seat in the booth we picked when we arrived. Good thing I got an iced coffee cause even a hot one would’ve gone cold by now considering I haven’t yet taken the time to have even a sip of it. I’ve been too busy listening to the long and short of the explanation and begging speech Ranboo probably made last night to try and convince me to agree to this nonsense. “Dude, we’ve been friends since middle school-...“

“Exactly! Who else was I gonna ask?“ He cuts me off, pleading gaze meeting my unimpressed one.

I huff before continuing my previous statement, “We’ve been friends since middle school so you know my opinion on weddings.” I put extra emphasis on the word ‘opinion’, giving him the clear hint at the distaste I’ve expressed on the topic multiple times before.

“And you know we’re on the same page there but there’s no way I can avoid going unless someone kidnaps me.“ He too now gets in the same stance as me, his coffee forgotten too.

I can’t help but snort out a little laugh, “I’d be more than happy to kidnap you considering the other option is far less appealing to me.“

He, of course, rolls his eyes at me as though he didn’t offer to do the same thing so I could avoid an exam but anyways. “So you’re gonna choose to fake a kidnapping that has the potential of landing you in jail over coming to eat some great food and maybe even have some fun at a wedding with your best friend? I’m hurt.“ He says, frowning to cover up the smile that’s fighting its way onto his face.

Now it’s my turn to roll my eyes, “I’d be kidnapping you, dummy...” I cut myself off to let out a long sigh and calm down before I go off at him. His smirk isn’t helping me much with the task either. I’ve known Ranboo long enough to know he’ll eventually convince me and he’s known me long enough to know how to do that exactly. With that in mind, there’s really no point in getting so worked up and wasting my energy. And so, despite my own rationality, I cave. “Fine, but I’m not staying the whole wedding.“

His eyes immediately light up and almost makes me feel the compromise was worth it. Almost. I mean, when you’ve been best friends with someone for so long, seeing them happy is worth more to you than your own comfort sometimes.

And he knows it too. Which is exactly why he outstretches his hand for me to shake and says: “Just one dance and you’re free to go. Deal?”

I take his hand without hesitations. That’s a better offer than I could’ve ever imagined. “Damn straight it’s a deal.“

* * *

“How long until you kick the heels off?“ Ranboo asks, bringing me a non-alcoholic cocktail and sitting down next to me.

I take a sip and giggle, “You kidding? I already kicked them off and replaced them with flats. I need mobility if we dance. They also lower the risk of me severing off a toe of yours if I step on you on accident.”

He laughs, clinking his glass against mine before he gets a bit more serious, “By the way, thanks for handling my family’s attack so well. I know it might’ve been a bit much but you handled it like a pro. Still, I’m sorry on their behalf.”

I shake my head and wave my hand dismissively, “Don’t mention it. I’d probably react the same way if my brother or cousin brought a date to an important family event like this.” I instinctively turn to look in the direction of where the majority of his family has gathered around, chatting with guests, smiling brightly. It’s hard not to immediately take a liking towards these people. They’ve been a second family to me ever since Ranboo and I started hanging out so I completely understand why they were so shocked to see me in the role of his ‘girlfriend’.

“I’ll tell my parents the truth later, our extended family is the ones I wanted to fool to be perfectly honest.“ He looks around as do I and we catch more than a few pairs of eyes fixated on us that turn away when they realize they’ve been spotted, “Mission accomplished by the looks of it.“

I chuckle. I’ve never felt so comfortable at a wedding before. I don’t feel stressed nor anxious despite knowing that there’s quite the number of eyes on me and there are whispers going around about my ‘relationship’ with Ranboo. It’s oddly calming and relaxing to be surrounded by some familiar and some unfamiliar faces. This cocktail is pretty great too.

Speaking of which, if it had any alcohol in it I’d blame it for the decision I’m about to make but this one’s entirely on me: I tap Ranboo with one hand while taking out my phone with the other. “If we’re already the talk of the wedding, let’s give them something to talk about.“ I say as I put up my phone, pretending to be taking a selfie leaning in to give him a kiss on the cheek.

When I pull away I can clearly see that he’s still processing what just happened. I can’t help but burst out in a fit of laughter as I reach out to wipe the lipstick stain I left on his cheek. He looks like a lost, clueless puppy with the question: ‘what on Earth just happened???’ replaying in his head and it’s so freaking cute!

Wait....what was that? Since when do I use the adjective cute to describe Ranboo? Didn’t I think he looks handsome in a suit earlier too? The hell is with me today?

Then it hits me - the feeling isn’t foreign. Like, I know I’ve felt it before but I never analyzed it or even bothered to acknowledge it. But now that I do, I’m afraid of what it might be.

“There!“ I say, desperately trying to push the thoughts away along with this little firework show in my stomach, “Now you have pinker cheeks. Well, cheek, singular.“

As if snapping out of his state of confusion, he returns to Earth with a smirk, “Kiss the other to even it?”

Alright, his blush might not be even but mine now is and it’s ten times as intense and very much apparent but I don’t let the feeling shine through anything else as I proceed to actually kiss his other cheek too, wiping the lipstick stain.

“Thanks. You’re the best.” And just like that, as though it’s no big deal, he kisses my forehead.

See, that’s the thing, it shouldn’t be a big deal! It’s never been! This is far from the first time I’ve kissed him on the cheek or the first time he’s given me a forehead kiss. These are regular occurrences after years of this lovely friendship we have. Why do they feel so different now?

Then, much to my relief, the music starts and the lights turn off leaving only one spotlight for the groom and bride to have their first dance. They look absolutely astonishing and I can certainly say I’ve never before stopped to think that about any newly weds of the weddings I’ve preciously been to. I don’t know if it has something to do with the company I have for this particular wedding or it’s maybe the fact that my mindset’s changed over the years without me realizing.

Then I automatically look at Ranboo who just so happens to be looking at me too and all I can say is: my mindset hasn’t changed.

A loud applause takes over when the couple finish their dance, officially opening the dancefloor for any other pairs who’d like to occupy it and I’m happy to see how many people are eager to rush up with their partner.

Ranboo gets up, putting the glass down and offers me his hand, “So, wanna dance? Don’t take this as a sign to leave though, we said one dance and you CAN leave, not SHOULD.” He says, giving me a warning look.

I roll my eyes and am about to give him some sass right back but he takes my hand and picks me up from my seat, leading me to the dancefloor. And I gotta admit maybe it’s a good thing he did. If he left it to me I would’ve probably said no to the dance and ran the hell away. Why? - Cause I’m freaking terrified of this new mindset and point of view and these intense emotions I never used to pay any mind to before in regards to my best friend.

Friends don’t feel that way about friends. Friends don’t look at friends that way. What’s happening to me?

When I gotta look him in the eyes like this, not for the first time might I add, I can finally understand how the friends-to-lovers trope works: it’s all meaningless until it starts to mean so much to you. It’s all platonic until it reminds you of a romantic movie moment. It ‘best friends’ until it’s ‘I wish we were more than that’. It’s all casual, until it’s not.

And, unfortunately, it’s irreversible.

Damn do I wish I ran away now...

#ranboo #ranboo fanfiction #ranboo x you #ranboo fanfic #ranboo fluff #dream smp #ranboo imagine #ranboo x y/n #ranboo x reader #fic #fanfic #fanficiton #fandom #fluff #friends to lovers #x reader #request #requests open #reader

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sugar-petals · 4 years ago

Text

:: SCENARIO: exo eating you out

- length. 1k (total)

➼ genre: smut

warnings. lube, fingering, spit play, brat taming, sloppy, rimjobs, without chen

author’s note. i see you being interested in sub!exo, now since i’m from the oral fixation squad we gotta extend the repertoire 🕵 with a bonus sorting into the alignments.

⎡SUHO⎦Suho is not a wild and technical one. No stunts, no crazy shit. No dramatic antics. No weird toys. No major kinks. No particular preferences. He won’t make a big deal out of it either. A true neutral among all the chaos. Unlike the other members. Who are, unlike him, far from being a normal kinda person, that much is certain. So there he is, your uneventful man, doing uneventful things. And you know what? Who even manages that nowadays. Everyone cracks under the pressure of being perfect and super sexual. Suho simply isn’t fazed and that’s good on him. Even if Baekhyun might roast him for acting like he’s not 29 but 122 or something. What he does he does. With deliberation, stamina. If Suho was a tarot card, he’d be temperance. Junmyeon typically asks for eating you out casually when the mood is comfy, or calmly agrees when you ask him. Gets ready stoically in his work clothes, polite as ever. He’ll indulge you very carefully and walks his line. That tongue moves like Suho is deep in meditation. Getting to every spot but not in a provoking way, thorough stuff right here. Moderate and patient. Simply by not challenging himself or putting the bar higher than possible, Suho will never disappoint.

⎡MINSEOK⎦What a nasty hyung. Xiumin knows methods that would make Suho want to bury his face in the ground worrying about the reputation of EXO. Minseok really has seen and done and tried it all. Even a full-blown blowbang type of orgy in Gangnam sometime back in 2018 where he went ‘just to try some things out’ after going raw on lord knows how many ‘dating’ apps to organize people. Get ready for a firework. Fair enough, Xiumin is too clever and too private to let these things surface. Suho will never know. Unless Xiumin’s mouth slips and he feels the need to brag. Which may or may not happen... though, he keeps his secrets. Introvert advantage, nobody bothers him anyway. Talking about mouth slipping — yes, he’s keeping it wet and juicy. Expert he is, he comes along with lube. Xiumin also likes to swallow, while you cum. Where Suho is a literal wiseman resting on top of a mountain, Xiumin will break every rule there is, be loud, be provocative, be fun. And he seems to be uncaring about much else. Chaotic evil if I’ve ever seen one.

⎡KYUNGSOO⎦Oh shit. Oh shit, shit. I don’t even know what to say. Kyungsoo makes an entire protocol out of this. A grand plan. A state affair. In the most romantic, sensual way you can think of. Candle light... rose petal bath, chocolate cake that’s all homemade, back massages, self-recorded music. SM isn’t giving him a solo album or it just never happens but Do Kyungsoo has a phone with recording function and he’s not afraid to use it. What better evening than getting a dose of Kyungsoo lip service in two kinds of ways: As a background track for your sexy time, and in person between those shaking legs. It’s just that good, you aren’t ready for that level of pleasure. Make sure you’re at least mentally prepared for several drawn-out orgasms. The stamina is going hard right here. As we know: The sweettooth appreciates what mommy serves. Bon appetit. The truth is, his style is kinda lawful good even if people would expect it to be lawful evil.

⎡CHANYEOL⎦Is messy as fuck and proud of it. Chaotic good overdrive. No semblance of a technique. It’s called eating after all, gotta dig in, keep it instinctual. Chanyeol treats this like a fucking hobby. Remember, he’s a rapper. Chanyeol will drop a whole array of tongue twisters, deep moans, and a whole bag of bars on your clit so get ready. Guy takes ‘spitting’ a verse way too literally for his own good. Head without a towel, risky idea. Not in the bathroom, risky idea. Saliva everywhere, very sloppy head movements. Dips in the tongue so randomly, it’s unpredictable, which is exactly what makes you come every time. He’s just so happy he could make you feel so excited, and making himself excited, man he’s pure. Despite his drippy, twitching lips saying otherwise, but you blame Baekhyun’s bad influence. And besides, Chanyeol basically corrupts himself. No need to do anything, he escalates and is self-learning at this point. Because damn, he’s good at reading your feedback.

⎡BAEKHYUN⎦Seeing you have a big fat orgasm is Baekhyun’s lifeblood and day-long fantasy. He’s going about it with the most creative, unfair, and outrageous methods. The man’s obsessed. Is he turning into BĀĖKHYÜN? Seems like it. Baekhyun wants to see your face like that all the time. Would absolutely hate not being able to use his hands. He gotta unleash both. Goes nuts with two fingers inside of you and his naughty tongue exploring. Can and will nibble at you with his teeth, folds and clit and thighs, smiling from all the mischief... brat move. He’s easily tamed by pulling his hair, but you ask him beforehand. Who knows it’s bleached so often, the follicles might just give up. Like your legs because Baekhyun is chaotic evil unstoppable and addicted to slurping and sucking you down. Talking all kinds of nonsense while he’s at it. The madman will eat ass all day, Jesus Christ what a triple threat. The only thing that can stop him is a) Taeyong calling on the phone or b) the safeword.

⎡YIXING⎦God of cunnilingus. I am the sheep = GOAT = greatest oral and tongue. Descended from above, a different realm. Fantastic, outstanding, incredible, sexy, hot as hell, scream- and OSCAR-worthy. He gets to work. Properly. Is there something he can’t do? He’s so unafraid and full of ideas. Lay is here to get that honey. Sweet and dripping all over him. He’s a mad bitch for being so good at having his face ridden and you can’t blame him for digging in like it’s the last day. Tongue goes all over the place without stopping a heartbeat, you could request anything from him and he would do it. Let me tell you something. People don’t wanna give him credit for it, but Lay ‘Chaotic Good’ Zhang sinned with confidence before it was cool. He was the first one in the group to get it down. Fastest person to find the clit back in the day because someone paid attention. Even Xiumin hasn’t done the things Yixing has pulled off. Sure, Lay likes his own portion of head if his partner is down, but it’s not important when he’s immersed.

⎡JONGIN⎦Behold and beware. Jongin never plays. Serious business kinda dude. He will set up the room, the music, sets aside a certain time window. Just for you, it’s meant for nothing else. He’s been getting off twice that day out of frustration and anticipating your little date in the evening. Kai will talk to you about it very honestly, and it’s clear why very soon. He. Goes. Off. A whopping 45 minutes of entering other dimensions at the mercy of these big lips. He knows what they feel like and what they can do. Yep, he warned you, I warned you. You probably see EXO planet at some point in your delirium. Yes, it’s real. You just have to unlock the portal by having Kai make you scream and shout and twitch the roof down. That’s the whole trick. His own body erupts with pleasure but he’s trying to control it so hard. And you? Eye contact fail number #205 this night, looking right at him is so dangerous. This guy is the actual Lawful Evil member my dudes.

⎡SEHUN⎦Shawty imma party till the pants down... No problem. Here you go, get yourself a nutritious meal Mister Oh. While I take over your game and your chair, and you gimme all that pretty head until I get to the next level. That’s how it’s gonna be. Just like he’s all about lazy blowjobs (huge how he is, speed is impossible anyways), Sehun really takes it slow giving head as well. True Neutral business. Most easy-going and concentrated. Although, Kai has that focus as well, it’s a maknae thing for sure. Definitely the least likely to just power through: when something can be done to increase either of your comfort, he will easily pause. Sehun is so handsome, you’ll hardly keep it together. Taking a break is going to be necessary anyway, to just get back to normal breathing. When he isn’t comfortable with something, he will tell you right away, no prodding for feedback or anything needed. As the opposite of Suho, Sehun’s not over-polite in that regard.

#exo #exo smut #exo x reader #exo scenario #exo imagine #exo hc #exo headcanons #exo reactions

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padfootastic · 2 years ago

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talking about jilypad, I have always wondered what would happen if suddenly one of them is taken or walk away, like stop being in that relationship, be it by choice or not. James is the balance between Sirius and Lily i guess, so if he is the one who deserts the relationship, Sirius and lily 's relationship probably will take a v platonic turn. Tbh I think S and L are platonic anyway but without james it would turn into a comfort thing, like Sirius brewing tea for a sleepless sad lily or lily slowly persuading an absolute devastated padfoot to come out of underneath James' bed sheets and turn into his human form to at least eat something. I think it would be easier for them if it is lily who has deserted the relationship. I mean, james and Sirius are codependent and in sync, so they can fix each other after sometime. Not that it won't hurt for them or lily is less important in the relationship but because they know how to handle each other's feelings. But when I think about Sirius being the one who deserts the relationship, I can't help but to think that James would blame himself constantly, thinking he had not given enough love to Sirius and feeling guilty ( specially if Sirius has moved away on his accord) I can imagine him panicking because of Sirius's sudden absence, trying and spend time on things Sirius likes ( to distract himself from driving himself crazy albeit unsuccessfully) like how a motorcycle works or buying muggle men fashion magazines, just to show Sirius how important he ( and his likings ) are to James later. He is a type who never accepts not being with Sirius. Like, he involved Sirius in his private life and marriage by making him harry 's godfather in the books. God forbid though, if Sirius is not there because he can't be there (for whatever reason ) , James would probably end up silent and numb for the rest of his life. After all this rants, now that I am thinking, it is lily who balances this two not James. Because Sirius and James practically ignore all the laws of physics in codependency. I would have said the prophecy in the book 5 ( Neither can live while the other survives ) is about them with slight change of neither can live while the other one is dead ( or while the other is away or sth like that)

ngl, i’ve never considered this bc it’s on the road to angst and my heart can’t handle it but now that i’m thinking about it…

i actually can’t see a lily/sirius working without james tbh. i mean, i’ve read the ship and it can definitely be written well but with how i see j & s, it just doesn’t compute. for one, l & s are way too similar and james is the balancing act between the two. also, sirius wouldn’t ever do anything that could hurt james & being w someone that james liked w/o him being there? man, idk. i think i also struggle w seeing sirius in a relationship that’s not james (i kinda see him as needing an extremely close bond before he’ll be in a relationship & there’s no way that happens organically w lily unless it’s a jilypad scenario). if james does, though, i can definitely see them clinging to each other for comfort, doing things like u mentioned. both of them are trying (unsuccessfully) to fill a gap that refused to be filled.

if it’s sirius who leaves in the relationship, tho? especially after they’ve had a taste of what it’s like to be together at the same time? i absolutely don’t think james would be able to go on as before. i mean, in a jily + sirius scenario, he’s already relegated s to a particular position, right? and he knows he’ll have him like that always. i’ve talked ab how i think james is super possessive of sirius and wants as much of him and his time/attention he can get so once he’s gotten a chance to have s in a relationship context, he would absolutely not want to give it up. he’ll definitely fixate on sirius to the point that james/lily won’t work either, i think.

this is gonna sound mean but i don’t think lily leaving would have a lot of impact on their existing relationship 💀 i mean obv there’ll be grief and sorrow and anger/hurt etc but ultimately, they can bounce back from it because she was transient in comparison to these two. if it’s like a,,,post harry world, there’ll be an added layer of grief bc they’re also losing the mother of their child in addition to a partner but i still think they can pull through w/o devastating consequences just bc of the strong bond they already have.

#sirius black #james potter #lily evans #jilypad #ngl my mind cooked up so many angsty scenarios for this that i didn’t put here #see aforementioned lack of filter due to…reasons #also i dont usually think of sad prompts but now i am #and god there’s so many ways u can torture sirius #or lily #but that’s the obvious way i think #but the evil part of me rly wants that to happen lol #i wrote this answer over three days and i feel like it’s so disjointed lol #but yeah. there’s so many potential dynamics w jily #it’s interesting to think about #pen’s asks

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iamanartichoke · 3 years ago

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Another totally unprompted ask, on the assumption that you are definitely no longer in need of them… another thing I’m trying to work out about Loki characterisation in preparation for perpetrating fic torture on him is how suicidal the poor sod is most of the time. This is another thing I’ve seen referred to a lot but only in passing. Though obviously this is a pretty triggery topic, so ignore if you want.

I am always in need of totally unprompted asks, otherwise I just assume no one wants to talk to me lmao

So, hoo boy. I have been mulling over this for, apparently, three days now bc there's just ... there's a lot to unpack here. Putting under a cut for obviously triggery content and also for length bc fml.

In my opinion, the response to "how suicidal is Loki most of the time" is "very, but whether or not he wants to do anything about it varies from moment to moment" (see what I did there? I'll see myself out). In other words, I have always had a headcanon that Loki is consistently, passively suicidal. This is a headcanon that comes straight from TDW, bc I'm certain that Loki never had any intention of surviving their mission. And that could be a whole other post, really, but the point is that even though this is a TDW-centric headcanon, I have come to adopt it as applying to Loki in general as well, not just in those specific circumstances.

When I say passively suicidal, I mean that Loki is just sort of ambivalent about the value of his own life. He feels like he doesn't deserve to be alive, and feels like there's little point in being alive. Which - I don't mean to sound all gloom and doom, like, poor uwu emo Loki (and I kinda hate that I have to pause to disclaim that, no, I don't just have a fixation on Loki being depressed for funsies/the aesthetic/whatever); I think that this mindset stems from really complicated places that I'm not sure I can articulate, but I will try.

I view Loki as someone who suffers from a severe inferiority complex, and I feel like it stems from being abandoned as an infant. Loki's life started with a traumatic event and, even if he doesn't remember the event itself, the feelings he experienced stayed in his subconscious. Feelings of loss, of fear, of despair and abandonment, of suffering - these are all feelings that burrowed into his bones and lived there for his entire life, feelings that colored how Loki viewed himself as a person as well as how he compared to the people around him.

Keep in mind that Loki didn't know he was abandoned until the events of Thor 1, obviously. We don't really know how old Loki is, in human years, but I have always assumed that he and Thor were at least adults (not teenagers), maybe the equivalent of early twenties - and the reason I bring that up is because it means Loki made it all the way to adulthood carrying the weight of a trauma that he did not remember or even knew had happened, so to him, there was no real reason for how wrong he felt. There was no explanation for the feelings of loss, of neglect, of fear. So on top of struggling with those feelings, Loki was also burdened with the alienation that comes with wondering why one can't just be like everyone else, why one can't just "snap out" of depression, why one's sense of self-worth has always been lacking.

So imagine what it's like to grow up as Loki. He was traumatized as an infant. The trauma has been with him his entire life, along with the confusion/alienation of not understanding why he feels the way that he does, and then on top of that, his basic personality lends itself toward introspection and isolation, so he likely felt even further removed from Thor and from his peers. Loki's too smart for his own good, and he's got an enormous capacity to feel and I feel like this is a combination that works against him as much as it does for him, bc it probably means he spent a lot of time examining himself and identifying all of his perceived flaws - and then berating himself for said flaws.

People with depression are probably pretty familiar with the bully that lives in your head, the one who is always there to remind you that you're stupid, or ugly, or that nobody likes you, or that you have nothing of value to contribute to anyone, etc. Loki's no different; he's got that bully in his head, too. Add onto this the fact that his brother is literally perfect, that he feels his father doesn't love him (or love him as much), that his interests in things like magic are looked down on in his culture, and that he's a prince (meaning that along with the privilege comes pressure, and being in the public eye, knowing that everyone around him is comparing him to Thor as much as he compares himself to Thor, well.) and you have a total clusterfuck of a mindset, and Loki's been existing inside of that clusterfuck for nearly all of his life.

I always go back to the quote where, when filming I think the vault scene, Kenneth Branagh directs Tom by saying, "This is the moment where the thin steel rod holding your brain together snaps." And it's such a significant moment for Loki bc this is where it all crumbles for him, learning the truth, but I also fixate on the "thin steel rod" part of the quote bc that's not how one would describe a healthy, stable person's mind. The implication, to me, has always been that Loki wasn't that stable to start with due to his general upbringing, his internal struggles, and his personality, so of course the devastation of learning he's adopted, and Jotun, would send him over the edge. One doesn't go from zero to 60; one doesn't fall over the edge unless they were balancing fairly close to it in the first place. And to me, the "thin steel rod" basically equals the aforementioned clusterfuck of a mindset.

THE POINT IS. (Holy shit, I ramble.) This is the foundation on which I'm basing my headcanon that Loki neither values his life nor feels as if he even deserves to live it - bc his default mindset is one of inferiority, of loss, of pain. And I think that going from being a general unstable person pre-canon to being passively suicidal post-canon is a thing that happened because, somewhere between the vault in Thor 1 and the dungeons in TDW, Loki just stopped caring.

Life is exhausting for everyone, but even moreso when your mental load becomes more than you can carry. Loki is exhausted. His experience is that things just keep getting worse and worse for him - he's never been valued, he's always been found wanting. He discovers that he was literally thrown away as an infant, unwanted and left to die, and things haven't gotten much better for him since then. Everything that can go wrong, does go wrong. His plans spin out of control. He's unable to prove his worth and his value and when he is, in fact, rejected, he literally tries to kill himself (only to survive and end up in an even worse situation).

It all just continually goes downhill, and Loki is fucking exhausted. He's done. He has no hope that anything is ever going to change - he will never be valued or even seen, he's unable to connect to anyone, he has no family (aside from Thor, but their relationship is so fraught with pain). As far as he's concerned, his life has been nothing but a waste since he was born and if no one else values it, why should he?

So - passively suicidal. He places no value on his life, and doesn't shy away from situations that could cost him his life. It's possible that the only reason he's not actively suicidal is bc his previous attempt not only failed but led to such a horrible situation that he's probably too afraid to intentionally seek out death again. He doesn't want to fail and end up worse off for it.

And - not that you asked this in particular, but - my biggest disappointment in the series is that none of what I've just written is addressed in a satisfying way (to me). That is, we don't get any real explicit acknowledgement of the trauma of Loki's abandonment as a baby or how that affected his mental health growing up; we don't get to explore how devastated he was to learn of his adoption; we don't ever see him reconcile his ingrained belief that jotuns are monstrous savages with the fact that he is jotun. He says "I betrayed everyone I loved, but I'm different now" and we're supposed to infer what he means without Loki actually articulating why he feels that he's the only one who should be held responsible for all these things that had happened or what "I've changed" even means to him (aside from not betraying Sylvie).

I would have liked to see these things addressed for a lot of reasons, but one of those reasons is that I would want to see how Loki comes to terms with all of his issues and his pain enough that he stops being passively suicidal. We never get to see that; after TDW, the time that passes allows for Loki to kinda chill, resulting in the Ragnarok version, but if there was any real healing or recovering going on, it was happening off-screen, with the audience expected to just go with "yeah Loki was going through it for awhile but he's kinda better now."

Furthermore, much of what I've written here is based on prime Loki's development through TDW, but doesn't account for series Loki's split from that timeline nor the theme of "Lokis survive" that's so prevalent in the series. So I don't think the "passively suicidal" headcanon is really appropriate for series Loki but, at the same time, I'd like to have seen why. I'd like to have seen Loki learning to value his life, or where the "we survive" mindset comes from, since that's not really been a thing before now. (Out of universe, I suspect it comes from the context of Loki just not dying whenever he tries to, but since TDW and IW haven't happened, and Loki didn't intend to survive his fall from the bifrost, framing Loki as an innate survivor doesn't really make sense, but to be fair, I'm just being picky.)

So, yeah. I'm not saying Loki doesn't experience growth or development in the series, I'm just saying that his arc left much unsaid and, furthermore, framing his growth as "wanting a throne to not wanting a throne" without addressing that Loki doesn't actually want the power of the throne, he wants the value and self-worth he associates with the throne, is - well, again, unsatisfying. Not bad, but it leaves viewers like me wanting bc we're cognizant of how much more could have been done.

I ... am going to end this now. This is probably nonsensical and all over the place, so I'm very sorry, and I'm sure this is why I don't get meta-starter asks lmfao bc no one's out here trying to read my dissertation submission for a Ph.D in Loki, but well, sometimes it just be like that.

Thank you for the ask and the opportunity to ramble.

#asks #charlotte replies #loki pokey artichokey #loki series #loki series criticism #loki meta #tw suicidal ideation #tw suicide attempt #tw suicide #tw mental health #tw depression #i spent two fucking hours on this yet i still feel like it's rambly nonsense #i hit stream-of-consciousness at some point and just went with it #and now i'm too lazy to revise #so i'm sorry #this'll probably only get like 10 notes anyway bc that's how it be on tumblr #put effort in and get little validation; put no effort in and everyone loses their minds

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