#unfortunately my circus unfortunately my clowns but we can just ignore them it's fine its fine!

[therealslimshady]

obsessed with Nami saying "that's the Luffy that fought Kaido!" when she sees him in gear 5 for the second time. that's the Luffy.......

[themonkeycabal]

Wandavision Ep 7 Spoilers

Spoilers below

Good morning. There's a guy power washing the sidewalks at 12:30 a.m., and the drone from the generator is drilling into my brain. So I will watch WandaVision instead of doing something I might regret.

Previously on: Wanda was getting sick of Pietro's shit. Vision knows/thinks his wife is behind all the creepy shenanigans, and he tried to escape the Hex, only to fly to pieces in the real world. I can relate.

Outside, Monica, Jimmy, and Darcy were banished from the SWORD circus by Acting Director Dick, because of course. They snuck back in, also because of course. Darcy hacked AD Dick's files and found out he's Up to Something. Then she ran to try and help Vision and got herself arrested and handcuffed to a jeep. Which is where the brave SWORD agents left her when they ran away as Wanda, attempting to save Vision, expanded the Hex, swallowing Darcy and the SWORD compound, turning it all into a sitcom circus. Well deserved. Well, not Darcy, but anyway.

AD Dick escaped. Unfortunately. But, so did Jimmy and Monica who were off to her mystery aerospace engineer friend to find a way into the Hex.

Also, Tommy and Billy have powers.  

The episode 7 summary is a delight: "Two super-powered beings living ideal suburban lives suspect that everything is not as it seems." You don't say, Disney+.

Wanda wakes, regrets everything, and hides under the covers.  Understandable. Cut away to her addressing the camera The Office style "Look, we've all been there. Letting our fear and anger get the best of us; intentionally expanding the boarders of the false world we created". (cut to screaming running SWORD minions lol).

The boys come to get her, their game is freaking out. The video game controllers can't decide what decade they're in and are glitching it up.

Billy says his head feels weird and noisy. Wanda isn't terribly responsive. Mommy needs some her time.

"As punishment for my reckless evening, I plan on taking a quarantine-style staycation. A whole day. Just to myself. That'll show me." lol

Wanda eventually rouses herself, goes downstairs in her robe and sweats, ignores the boys fighting over a video game controller, and goes for the sugariest cereal. The milk container keeps glitching, she tries very very hard to ignore that.

Interesting Office-style opening credits, where it's just her name on everything. Vision is only added at the end, with the tag "Created by Wanda Maximoff".

Out in the real world, what is the point of SWORD? Like how do they have jurisdiction? Where is SHIELD. Director Mack, wtf, dude?

Anyway, now that part of their camp has been swallowed by the hex, they're further out, staring at the angry glowing force-field. AD Dick is a dick. He wants to know what's happening with the broadcast. His little minion says the signal's gone. Ominously he says "we launch today". Mmmm, what delightfully heavy-handed dipshittery will we have to endure?

Back inside. Vision wakes in the field at the edge of town that is now a circus. And lots and lots of clowns. He gets yelled at by a strongman who seems to think Vision is the new clown and tells him he's late for rehearsal with the escape artist. Who is Darcy. lol

"I put in for the bearded lady. But this alabaster complexion wasn't fooling anyone."

Darcy is chained to a ye olde fire engine or tractor or something. Vision walks up to her making a weird face and kind of waving his hand back and forth between them.

"You don't remember me from last night? We locked eyes, there was an unspoken understanding." Darcy tells him "um, hard pass." lol She busts out of her chains and walks away, Vision chases after.

Back at home, Wanda wants to know if the boys have seen dad, they haven't, but Billy wants to know about that whole thing Uncle Pietro said about dad being dead again. Wanda says Pietro is not their uncle. The boys don't understand, and Wanda has a little rambling breakdown about how she has no answers and maybe there's no meaning to anything ha ha don't worry boys mommy's just having a little depression.

Agnes knocks and then, you know, strolls in, when Wanda magics the door open.

"Hi Agnes. I'd get up but I just don't, ahahahah, want to." If I was Billy or Tommy I'd mount a search for dad. Stat.

Agnes: "I think I got there in the nick of time, 'cause she was one split-end away from cutting her own bangs."

(It's 1 a.m. and I swear to God, that man is still power-washing the sidewalks.)

Agnes suggests the boys go with her and give mommy that 'me time' she so desperately needs. The boys are reluctant but Wanda is ecstatic.

Once alone with her certainly soggy cereal, Wanda settles back to watch crappy daytime TV. But, damn it, the furniture is glitching through the eras.

"I'm fine! I'm fine hahahah. *sigh* I'm fine. i'm fine. … I'm fine."

In the real world. Jimmy and Monica are still on the move. The file on project whatever it was from last episode (Cataract), that Darcy forwarded to Jimmy's email, has finally found its way to him. It's R&D reports.

Oh, that asshole, AD Dick was trying to bring Vision back online. Monica puts the pieces together "Heyward wants his sentient weapon back."

Jimmy says somebody has to tell Wanda.

Good thing they arrive at the other side of the Hex, I guess? Where Monica has another team waiting. An Agent Goodner. They brought her like some sort of big Mars rover thingy.

Vision is still trying to talk to Darcy. "You tried to help me." "Doubtful. I'm notoriously self-involved."

lol, some amusing back and forth. Darcy is an f'ing delight and I don't just say that because I am obviously hideously biased.

Vision distracts her with a mime and takes the opportunity to do his brain mojo on her, waking her up. "Part of me secretly wanted a guest spot on this show, but seriously that sucked."

"Dr. Lewis. I have questions." "I have answers."

And then they steal the funnel cake truck.

"Dr. Lewis, my questions. Are my children safe?" "That I don't know." "And who was that Pietro?" "Beats me."

Wanda is still working on her bowl of cereal. Give it up, sister. The house redecorates itself around her.

Uh-oh, in her talking head segment, about how she doesn't understand whats going on, the person behind the camera speaks, and asks if maybe it's what she deserves. "You're not supposed to talk."

Commercial time. For a depression medication. "Nexus, a unique antidepressant that works to anchor you back to your reality. Or the reality of your choice."

Back in Westview. The boys are hanging at Agnes's. Billy has a rabbit. As happens at your crazy neighbor's house. But, he says he likes it there, because it's quiet. "You're quiet, Agnes. On the inside." J'ACCUSE, AGNES!  

Back at Monica's backup camp, she's getting suited up in her SWORD astronaut suit. Jimmy's sad because Darcy's missing the fun. But, Monica will rescue her. SWORD is worse than SHIELD for slapping their name all over everything.

Monica and the little rover zoom off to the hex. Should she really go that fast? Maybe this is something to take cautiously? Oh, and look, she hit it hard and she's stuck. The Hex doesn't want to let her in, but she keeps trying. And now the Hex is eating into the rover — sorry, *re-writing* it. Well that was a dumb plan. Sorry guys, but come on.

Monica escapes, but the hex eats the rover and then spits it out, the front half transformed into a truck. Monica is shocked, Jimmy calls for a medic, and as they run forward, Jimmy, who has known Monica for like two days, recognizes she's got 'I'm a heroic dummy' face on and he's all "noooooo!". She runs for the hex and pushes her way in.

This is a really long sequence of her going through the hex. Like … too long. Sorry, but it is. There's a whole thing where she's hearing voices from moments in her life, and she hears Carol tell her how she's a tough kid, and now Monica is Filled With Resolve and breaks through the Hex, still in her Astronaut outfit, so like she resisted the sitcom wardrobe department.

I enjoy this show, but there are moments of hokeyness that I find very trying.

The hex rewrites you at a basic level as you pass through it. So, third time through and Monica's eyes are glowy blue and she can, like, see electrical currents, or electromagnetic fields (it looks like). Trippy. She can see power along the power lines, fields around streetlights. Closing her eyes and shaking her head makes it all go away. Of course.

Meanwhile, Darcy and Vision are on their slow-speed getaway in the Funnel Cake truck. She's trying to catch him up on what's happened since he's been dead. They keep hitting red lights and obstacles. Vision thinks Wanda's doing it to keep him from getting home. "I'm not amused," he tells the camera with a very not amused face on. lol

Vision is trying to understand what he is now. It's not going well. "My corporeal form was born from Ultron's plan for global genocide?" "Correct-o." Darcy might not be the best person to be explaining this to him.

"What am I now?" Poor Vision.

Darcy takes a deep breath. In fairness, she looks like maybe she'd rather not be the one doing the explaining, either. "Honestly, I'm a STEM type of lady, so I thought she just flipped a switch on your head and brought you back to life. What I don't get is why you can't leave the hex."

Vision is having an existential crisis. But, Darcy assures him that based on her week-long experience as a fan of WandaVision, he and Wanda do really love each other. So, there's that. "You belong together," says the shameless shipper.

Meanwhile, Monica has arrived at the Maximoff residence and busts into the house, breathlessly trying to tell Wanda it's all Heyward being a dick, but Wanda's stunned by the sudden entry and then too pissed to really listen. "The drones, the missiles, Pietro." "No, Pietro wasn't us." "All you do is lie." She's tossing Monica around with her powers.

Monica, friend, buddy, pal, was that really your plan? To barge right in and just … what? Talk fast and hope she didn't yeet your ass again? Okay, she didn't have a lot of time, I get that, but surely she could have come up with something. Like, she should have found Darcy and Vision first, and then the three of them could approach Wanda. But, no. Jimmy Woo would have a plan, Monica.

Well, fortunately for Monica she's been rewritten into Electricity Lass. She hits the ground with a staticky crackle and her eyes glow blue again. Wanda's all "bu-whu?"

"The only lies I've told are the ones you put in my mouth," Monica says all angry like. Mmmkay, I thought you were trying to help? Wanda does not care for this response. Because, no offense Monica, but the last time she heard your voice, she had a missile launched at her head.

Monica challenges her. "Do it then, take me out." Not an approach I’d go for, but it seems to work, and Wanda hesitates and Monica tries to warn her again, that unlike Wanda who isn’t actually violent and evil, Heyward will burn down Westview to get what he wants. "Don't let him make you the villain."

"Maybe I already am."

Next door, Agnes is looking out the window, watching them, with a considering look on her face. BECAUSE SHE IS IN ON WHATEVER THIS IS.

Monica is still trying to talk down Wanda. Agnes interrupts. Creepily. And shepherds Wanda away.

Vision and Darcy are thwarted in their journey again. "Oh come on! Kids? What's next? Puppies?"

Vision takes the faster way and intangibles himself out of the van and flies off, leaving Darcy at the endless intersection. "Go on! I'll just meet you there then?"

Back at Agnes's shack of creepy ladies who are freaking up to something. Where are the boys? Oh, Wanda notices the half-eaten PB&Js and the nightmarish kids' show on the telly. Behind her the bunny is in its cage. No sign of the boys. Agnes says they're probably playing in the basement.

Wanda wanders off to find them. But, there are no boys, only horror show creepiness. The basement turns into some weird sort of domed cavern with arches all around and in the middle a weird glowing rectangle.

Agnes comes up behind her. "You didn't think you were the only magical girl in town, did you?" I was wise to you, Agnes. Which, given she was a featured co-star, was probably no great insight on my part. BUT STILL!

"The name's Agatha Harkness. Lovely to finally meet you, dear." OH! LOLOLOL! OH, I didn't see that one coming. Wow, you got me, show. It never occurred to me for a second that it was Agatha Harkness.

And now a fantastic montage of Agatha doing tricksy things as Agnes through the series, with the best theme song ever "Who's been messing up everything? It's been Agatha, all along! Who's been pulling every evil string? It's been Agatha, all along. She's insidious. HA HA! So perfidious." Oh man, this is great. "And I killed Sparky, too."

LOL. Great ending.

Hey, an unexpected mid-credits scene of Monica trying to get into the house. Maybe Agnes's? Oh, yeah, she finds a storm cellar and opens the doors, to see a stone stairway with vines or roots growing all around it and zippy electrical sparks and such. Pietro appears behind her. "Snoopers gonna snoop."

Credits!

Well then.

I KNEW IT! I didn't know what I knew, but I knew I knew a thing!

[haberdashing]

and if that was me, then who am i?

Stranger Martin AU. A young Martin runs away to the Circus.

on AO3

Martin Blackwood was nine years old, and his mother’s health was getting worse by the day, and his father was gone never to return, and his world was crumbling around him. Things he’d taken for granted, responsibilities that he’d figured the adults around him would attend to for him for years to come if not for the rest of his life, were suddenly falling on his shoulders, left undone if he didn’t step up to the plate. He wasn’t working, as it wasn’t exactly an option at his age, but he did just about everything else he could to keep the house up and running. Even then, it seemed like it was never enough, like the perpetual frown on his mother’s face grew deeper by the day.

For all he did, though, Martin was still nine years old, still just a child, still prone to youthful flights of fancy. Perhaps it was little surprise that he spent every minute he wasn’t busy with schoolwork or housework with his nose stuck in a book, desperately longing to escape his reality by delving into another, at least for a little while.

Martin knew well enough, when news got around that a circus was coming to town, that he wouldn’t be able to go. There was too much to do at home, too little money to spare for such luxuries. He still asked his mother, though, despite knowing her answer before he voiced the question. He did want to go, after all, did want to enjoy himself in an evening of pure escapism, and this way it was her word forbidding it, not just simple logic that he could try to weasel his way out of. And it burned, knowing that all the other children would doubtlessly be talking nonstop for weeks about something he would never see, would never be a part of.

As the circus’ performance neared, Martin yearned to find some way to attend the circus, despite all logic, despite his mother’s refusal, despite everything... and something occurred to him.

He’d read more than one story involving children who, when stuck in a living situation they couldn’t tolerate anymore, ran off to join the circus. And technically, his mother had told him not to attend the circus, not to not join it.

It wasn’t fair to his mother, of course, but she seemed unhappy enough regardless, and Martin could swear just the sight of his face made her frown all the greater for some reason, so maybe she’d be better off without him. And then he could start a new life with the circus, one less mundane and brutal than the one he had to face on a daily basis. A win-win situation.

Three days before the circus was set to open, Martin grabbed a handful of his dearest belongings, shoved them into a bag, and sneaked into the circus grounds with them in hand, a mix of anxiety and sheer desperation pushing him onward, fueling every step he took deeper into the heart of the circus.

Opening a random door exposed Martin unexpectedly to a view of the stage, albeit a skewed one, far from the sort of angle an audience would normally get. Even though the circus wasn’t open for business yet, a performance of some sort--a rehearsal, perhaps?--was going on just the same, and Martin was lucky enough to be its only audience member.

Colors and lights and music and movement intermingled until it was hard to say where one part of the action ended and another began. It was a dizzying, dazzling, overwhelming performance, and it was impossible and it was illogical and it was beautiful, and as Martin looked on he knew that he’d made the right move, that somewhere this wonderful must be where he was meant to be.

Martin let out a soft gasp at one point that caught him especially off-guard--something to do with knives, or a tightrope, or maybe both, it all blended together into one strange jumbled blur in his brain--and seconds after, a cold hand pressed against his shoulder.

“Here for a sneak preview?”

Martin turned around. The outlandish and blindingly colorful outfit of the man in front of him marked him as a member of the circus troupe, though Martin couldn’t remember if he’d seen the man before, either when making his way through the circus or when watching the stage.

Did... did he think Martin was just there to get out of paying? Or out of impatience, too eager to see a performance that was just days away anyhow? Because that wasn’t right at all, and he didn’t want that to be the first impression any of the circus members got of him.

“No, no, not like that--I mean, I watched some, I guess, and it was great and all, but--I came here because I want to join you.”

The man raised an eyebrow. “You want to join the Circus?”

Martin nodded, desperately, trying to ignore how his hands were shaking, how his vision was blurring with half-stifled tears, how what this strange man decided in the next minute or two might change the course of Martin’s life forever. “I do. I want to be a part of- of all of this. I did before I saw it in action, but even more now. It’s- it’s wonderful, and I want to help make it happen again.”

“Hmm.” The man tapped his fingers against the nearby wall, and Martin flinched a little as the man’s arm drew awkwardly close to him in the process. “That’s a new one.”

Martin hadn’t thought it would be a “new one.” This happened all the time in stories, didn’t it? Were the stories all lies, then?

“Tell you what, how about we go see Nikola.” The words suggested that there was a question involved, that Martin was being given a choice, but between the circus member’s flat tone of voice and the way his fingers curled around Martin’s wrist, Martin was left very sure that he was going to see this Nikola whether he wanted to or not. “Rehearsal’s wrapping up, so she should be free soon, and if anyone’s going to decide if you can stay with us it’s her.”

“A-alright. Sure.” Maybe the choice being offered was a false one, but Martin wanted to make it clear that he was willing to go along with it all, that he wasn’t going to put up a fuss or disobey at the first sign of trouble.

The walk between where Martin had been spying on the stage and where Nikola stood in front of a crowd of circus performers wasn’t long, but it was dizzying just the same. It wasn’t quite like the performance, but just walking through the circus was enough to fill Martin’s head with colors and lights and sounds the likes of which he had never imagined, let alone experienced, before that night.

Martin wasn’t sure whether he’d know which of the people around him were “Nikola” at first, but he figured it out pretty fast. Most of the circus performers seemed normal enough, at least by circus performer standards; sure, they were all strangers, and something about those surrounding him gave Martin a pit in his stomach, but they could easily have been pulled out of one of the storybooks Martin enjoyed so much, the sort of stock characters one would expect to see around a circus. Nikola, on the other hand... well.

She wasn’t actually a mannequin, was she?

No, of course not, that didn’t make sense. Living mannequins were only a thing in stories, and Martin had already learned that stories couldn’t be trusted as guides to reality that easily. It had to be some sort of elaborate make-up that made her look more doll than human. Though why Nikola then had clown make-up over the mannequin make-up was a little confusing... it seemed like one or the other would make more sense than combining the two... but it wasn’t his call to make, of course.

Besides, Martin had already gathered that making sense wasn’t the be-all and end-all here, and that was part of the attraction. Staying home and caring for his ill mother would make sense, but that wasn’t the life Martin wanted to live. The circus promised him so much more.

“Nikola?”

Without warning, the man that had led Martin to Nikola gripped Martin’s wrist hard and used it to hold him up.

“Hey!” Martin did his best to wriggle his way out of the circus member’s grip, but to no avail.

“I found this boy intruding on our property, watching the rehearsal. He says he wants to join the Circus.”

“Oh? How fascinating!” Nikola’s voice was high and energetic, and the bright red lips drawn onto her face didn’t move when she spoke. “Come here, boy.”

The grip on Martin’s wrist loosened as abruptly as it had tightened, and Martin half-walked half-stumbled over to Nikola, shaking out his hand to try and reduce the ache lingering in his wrist from where he’d been held.

“Let me get a closer look...” Nikola’s hand shot out and cupped Martin’s chin, tilting his face so that it was staring up at hers, and her hand felt cold and plastic and lifeless and the feeling of it pressed against his chin made the hairs on Martin’s back stand up straight.

“Do you have any special talents, boy?”

“Um... not really, honestly, but-” Martin could feel his face growing hot. “But I’m a quick learner, and I can do a lot when I put my mind to it, so I’m sure I can help you out somehow!”

“Oh, that’s fine, I’m sure we can find a place for you somewhere.” Nikola withdrew her hand, though Martin still looked up at her, hoping to see some sign in her facial expression that’d give away whether she’d allow him to stay. (No such luck, unfortunately, as her face was utterly still, acting less like make-up over a regular face and more like paint atop a doll.) “I’m Nikola, by the way. I run the Circus these days.”

Martin considered saying that he’d already gathered as much, but decided to stay silent instead.

“And who might you be?”

“I’m...”

Martin hesitated, considering his options. If he just gave his real name out, would they report him to the authorities, send him back to his mother? Even if they didn’t, he was hoping to start a new life here, and did he really want that life to be tied to the same name as his old one? If he was going to reinvent himself, why not go all the way?

If he wasn’t Martin, though, who was he?

Martin’s mind wandered back to all the books he’d read over the years, remembered an old, beaten-up library book about mythology that he’d come back to time and time again, and settled on an answer.

“...Loki. I’m Loki.”

“Wonderful, wonderful! It is a pleasure to meet you, dear Loki!”

He’d realized that he was being tested, before, but hadn’t realized that being asked for his name was part of the test until looking around and seeing the broad smiles on the faces of all the circus performers.

When was the last time he’d seen a sea of smiles like that?

When was the last time he’d seen even a single smile like that, wide and genuine and mirthful?

“I think you’ll fit in just fine here, Loki. Welcome to the Circus!”

Nikola extended her hand, and he took it, and her hand was cold and inhuman but he was surrounded by smiling faces and unnatural beauty and if a cold handshake was the price he had to pay to fit in here, that was a price well worth paying.

Loki looked out at the crowd and gave a smile of his own, weak but passionate.

He’d found a place in the world, now, and he was never looking back.

[junker-town]

Why were we all so wrong about the Browns?

Baker Mayfield and the Browns have had a rough 2019 season.

Most of us had high expectations for Cleveland in 2019. Most of us were fools.

One look at the Cleveland Browns, and it’s easy to see why they’re not winning. The offense isn’t working at all as they try and move away from being a power running team to one that feeds Odell Beckham Jr. and forces Baker Mayfield to win games with his arm.

There are some real problems on defense, too. The Browns are allowing 25.6 points per game, 141.3 rushing yards per game, and have only managed to force nine turnovers — all of which rank in the bottom third of the league.

And while they’re a mess on the field, there are concerns off the field as well. Mayfield has been getting into it with reporters. Beckham keeps getting fined, and safety Jermaine Whitehead was released after some controversial tweets. Individually, these incidents may not create a narrative. Together, it suggests first-time head coach Freddie Kitchens is in over his head managing all of this.

This type of dysfunction is nothing new from the Browns. They’ve been an NFL punching bag for most of their existence, especially since the franchise returned in 1999. In the two decades since, they’ve made it to the playoffs just once: in 2002, which ended in a wild card exit.

Yet many of us thought this year would be different. They opened the season tied for the eighth-best odds to win the Super Bowl (alongside the Packers and Cowboys!) and NFL fans were clearly buying into the hype.

Why did we fool ourselves into believing in another reality for the 2019 Browns? Why were we so hasty to ignore the warning signs? Let’s dive into it.

It was easy to overlook Kitchens’ inexperience

Cleveland has had so much instability over the years — the team is currently on its seventh head coach this decade. That made it easier to believe it was a good idea to retain Kitchens, an interim offensive coordinator without a full season of coordinating or any head coaching experience under his belt. The players liked him, which counted for a lot, especially in the wake of the Hue Jackson era.

Before the season, SB Nation’s Geoff Schwartz warned us about the unrealistic expectations being placed on Kitchens, and he was right on the money.

Kitchens might be well equipped to handle every situation, or just some of them. He’s going to be learning on the fly. But, unlike other first-year head coaches, if Kitchens makes a mistake that leads to a loss, or if there’s too much drama, or if the Browns don’t make the playoffs, this season will be a failure. That’s a big weight for a first-time head coach!

Unfortunately, things haven’t been good under Kitchens. The Browns might mostly be defined by their lack of discipline. They have had 17 giveaways, third-worst in the league, and have a turnover differential of minus-8. They have been called for 75 penalties in 2019, the most in the league.

If that wasn’t enough, Kitchens has drawn the fans’ ire for several mistakes in game management and playcalling. You can point to most Browns games this season and find a pretty glaring error he’s made, and most of the time, Cleveland was still in the game when it happened.

In a Week 3 loss to the Rams, the Browns saw multiple red zone opportunities evaporate as they tried to force passes to Beckham and Jarvis Landry, despite strong play from the offensive line and Nick Chubb. They scored once in four red zone trips, a crucial failure in a game they only lost by a score of 20-13. Kitchens admitted after that game that he was still learning how to call plays, even though he had done it (successfully) in the second part of 2018.

Three weeks later, a near-touchdown to Landry in the fourth quarter against the Seahawks showed Kitchens’ inexperience. Kitchens eventually challenged the call, but first, the ball was snapped and Chubb ran it on fourth-and-goal. The play didn’t count, and Kitchens lost his challenge. So what did Kitchens do? He called the exact same run to Chubb that he had just shown the Seahawks. It didn’t work, and the Browns lost 32-28.

Then in a surprisingly competitive Week 8 game against the Patriots (at least initially), Kitchens made his most egregious mistake yet:

So false start in 4th & 11, with punt unit, Freddie pulls them puts offense out for 4th & 16. Baker sacked. Nathan Zegura just reported, #Browns deliberately false started so the offense could return to the field because Kitchens didn't want to burn final timeout. Clown show.

— Daryl Ruiter (@RuiterWrongFAN) October 27, 2019

So the Browns went for it from their own 19-yard line, on a fourth-and-16 attempt, which apparently was his plan all along. They failed, as expected.

In hindsight, it was unreasonable to expect Kitchens to be able to turn things around so quickly, though I think at this point, he’s doing worse than even the doubters expected. The Browns, at 2-6 on the season, are no better off in the standings than when they fired Jackson at 2-5-1 last year.

While Kitchens has emphasized that the Browns simply need to execute better, it falls on the coach to put his team in position to do that. So far, he hasn’t.

The talent was — and is — there on paper

When the Browns made the move to acquire Beckham, it was clear they wanted to win now. That’s an aggressiveness we hadn’t seen from them in a long time. Looking at their roster heading into the season, there was a lot of talent to get excited about.

Let’s start with the quarterback. Mayfield threw eight touchdowns before Jackson and OC Todd Haley were fired last season. But in the final eight games of 2018, he threw for another 19 for a total of 27 touchdowns, setting and NFL rookie record and surpassing the likes of Peyton Manning and Russell Wilson.

He threw fewer interceptions than he did in the first half of the season and seemed to flourish with Kitchens running the offense. Once Jackson was gone, Mayfield began to thrive in a way that had the No. 1 pick looking like a franchise quarterback.

And he had the offensive pieces to excel in his second year.

Landry made the Pro Bowl with Mayfield throwing passes, but what he really needed was another receiver to take some of the load off him. Beckham, aside from making circus catches that dominate the highlight reel, is a production machine whose addition was expected to boost for Landry.

Then there’s the running game, led by an emerging Chubb. As a rookie alongside Mayfield, Chubb rushed for 996 yards and eight touchdowns. He’s been even better this season, too.

Instead of all of those offensive pieces coming together, though, Mayfield has regressed. That’s not all on Kitchens. Mayfield is clearly forcing passes and he’s been extremely predictable outside the pocket, always rolling out to his right and focusing in on a single receiver — notably, on a fourth-and-4 play against the Broncos with the game on the line:

Baker went across the middle to Landry with two defenders instead. Ouch. pic.twitter.com/bB0zlW3tgV

— Will Brinson (@WillBrinson) November 4, 2019

He’s thrown just seven touchdowns against 12 interceptions, and his passer rating has dropped from 93.7 as a rookie to 71.3 this season. He’s also become a meme.

Combining his sophomore slump with Kitchens’ playcalling errors, the coach-quarterback combination has floundered.

Defensively, the Browns have a deep, young core that should be far better than it is. Pass rusher Myles Garrett, another first overall draft pick, is the star of the unit. Garrett is one of the more complete defensive ends in the league, and has 30.5 sacks in 35 career games.

This offseason, the Browns added veterans Sheldon Richardson and Olivier Vernon to the defensive line. Vernon had seven sacks in 11 games with the Giants in 2018, and pairing him with Garrett was expected to result in fireworks. That hasn’t gone as planned, either.

While Garrett has amassed 10 sacks, he is one of the most-penalized players in the league. Vernon has only registered three sacks so far. Richardson has also struggled against the run, and the defensive line hasn’t made big plays when it needs to. Instead, Cleveland has allowed the five-most explosive running plays in the league, per Sharp Football.

Two highly drafted cornerbacks, Denzel Ward and Greedy Williams, lead the secondary. Despite being banged up there, it’s one area where the Browns haven’t disappointed too much, allowing just 216.3 passing yards per game, sixth-best in the league. However, they’re merely average when it comes to explosive pass plays allowed.

This team is loaded with playmakers. The fact that they aren’t executing — and in the case of Mayfield, regressing — is another black mark on Kitchens’ record.

We like rooting for the underdogs

Let’s get this out of the way: schadenfreude is a favorite pastime of sports fans, to a fault.

I don’t like people getting fired or hurt, but when the team owner tries to overhaul the way NFL front offices work while dealing with multiple criminal investigations, well ... maybe it’s OK to laugh when the on-field product resembles a dumpster fire made out of turds?

Pretty much everybody interested in the NFL, including Browns fans, has enjoyed a joke at the team’s expense over the years. I’ve certainly had my share. But I, like many, was fully on board with the concept of the Browns being good again. The humor can only last so long before the situation just becomes sad.

It’s also our natural tendency to root for the underdogs. The Browns being good again would have been endearing, in the exact same way that the Patriots missing the Super Bowl would be cathartic. Things have been soul-crushingly bad for the Browns for so long, that seeing them succeed would do a lot for my cynical and frosted-over heart.

The Browns having a reason to cheer for the first time in literal decades would be a strike against the status quo. The shittiness of the Browns represents the shittiness of the world, and it’s nice to be able to forget about the latter by rooting for something positive happening to Cleveland.

But when the Browns suck and the Patriots are still stupidly good, it feels like nothing ever changes.

Sadly, the Browns are getting in their own way the same they have for a long time. I still feel for Browns fans, but at this point, there are no easy fixes. The team will either have to stick with Kitchens, who doesn’t inspire confidence, or move on and face more uncertainty in another offseason filled with change.