#unfortunately brains dont work so logically but i dont want readers to feel guilty or bad for 'not doing enough'

[sweetalnazar]

I saw your tags about people not reading fics bc its not smut but I just want to assure you you're underestimating the ammount of people who dont actually want smut in this fandom

Aaksjdhakjdas i didn't expect someone to read my vent post much less reply, so thanks for the reassurance, anon, it's very kind of you 💖

Don't worry, I don't think no one at all would read, it's more of the reception I'd receive I guess?

Statistically speaking, lemons (to use old fanfic speak) tend to perform much better than most fics. I wouldn't be surprised if reader fics were the same (fun fact: my most popular fic is both smutty and a reader fic lol). Those types of fic are just easier for a larger audience to get into imo, and as a result, will have a higher chance of getting more kudos/comments

It’s not a bad thing, but, well I have a lot of self esteem issues, particularly in regards to Validation™ (thank u childhood trauma). I compare myself against ppl automatically and if I don't 'perform as well‘, if there's an absence of sufficient Validation (in this case, a certain number of comments/kudos/etc), it feels like a rejection. I tend to take those quite hard and I almost always end up just quitting a project partway through when that happens

Good news is I'm getting a Lot better at managing my feelings and responses and being more mindful of my mental health in general, and preventing stuff like this from happening. 😁😁

That's why I'm doing my best to finish this entire fic so I can post the whole thing and not leave readers hanging (also bc i would rly rly like to finish a WIP one of these days 😂😂)

But I really appreciate the ask, and well, for the curious, here's the current summary I've come up for the fic:

“Let’s make a promise. From now on, let’s see each other again every year, no matter what. Even if it’s only once.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

This is a story of a love that was an almost, a nearly-meant-to-be.

This is a story of a quiet love that went unspoken, that could have been but never was.

This is the story of you and me.

Also another snippet from my (super duper extremely super) rough draft

Once, there was a little 5-year old, in his warm home with his parents. His mom had taken out her qanun, her most treasured possession, while his dad carried him, riq in the young child’s hand.

“Ready, habibi?”

The child bobbed his head excitedly.

“Just like I showed you,” his dad whispered, squeezing the child close.

Aisha began to play, and the small child joined in, his tiny hand slamming the riq as hard as he could while his dad laughed and sang snippets of Zadithi along with the melody.

The room grew brighter, pink light washing over the room, crystallizing the memory.

And then, Asra awoke.