#umph *

[pseudowho]

Cunt-Drunk

18+, MDNI, just a filthy little drabble...

For @delirious-donna , my Higuruma brainrot muse

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

Hiromi didn't often go out with his colleagues. But one week, duty called, and he was obliged to attend karaoke and drinks with his firm's new clients. He was going to be out for hours. It was a Saturday night, and you were off too, and he was absolutely incensed because--

"They said no spouses allowed! Can you believe it?" Hiromi ranted, clattering around the kitchen in a strop, shoving scattered files into his briefcase, "It's almost like they think I'd spend the whole evening talking to you, and squeezing your thighs under the table, and--"

"--well let's be honest, Hiromi, you would--"

"--and who could blame me, really--"

"---Hiromi it's just one night, I won't be doing anything interesting anyway, just go, and have fun, and send me videos of you doing karaoke--"

Hiromi scoffed, clipping his briefcase shut, "I do not do Karaoke."

He stood staring down at you, straight, and tall, and serious for a moment. You bit your lip, barely hiding a smirk. Hiromi slumped dramatically, his face crumpling into a look of abject despair. He cupped his hands around his mouth and nose, head tipped back.

"...do I have to?" He whined. You did not answer. You simply sidled up to him, straightened his tie, and pulled him down by it, pressing a kiss of promise to his lips, so prophetic that he moaned into you.

You whispered against Hiromi's lips; "Off you go, my brave soldier. Have a drink or six for me."

+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+

You worked your way through the usual bottle of Shiraz that you and Hiromi shared on a Saturday night, but, without him there, being drunk just felt sad. You took yourself to bed, in just one of his shirts fished out of the laundry, and fell asleep in the thunk way that only drunk women do.

You woke in the small hours of the morning with a jolt, feeling yourself dragged down the bed by two strong arms looped around your thighs. You squeaked, reaching down and tangling your fingers in a familiar shock of grey-streaked black hair.

"I-- Hiromi--" you started, mumbling and half-asleep. You heard a giggle from between your legs.

"Shhhh," Hiromi slurred, and giggled again. You heard a p-tuu, and felt a glob of warmth, slippery-wet, dripping down your labia. With little warning, Hiromi lathered his tongue between your folds, and you cried out, your body still sizzling with the wine.

"...missed you," Hiromi whined, nuzzling between your puffy folds, "...wanted...to see you...our S'day night...ruined...s'boring without you..."

"--Hiromi--" you panted, dazed and disoriented, "--just come to bed--"

"Shhhhhh," he whispered again, loudly, "m'fine...right here...pull m'hair...jus' hold onto somethin'..."

Hiromi ate your pussy without remorse, without restraint, as drunk as could be, and fucking the bed in his sloppy, rumpled suit. Hiromi moaned, pornographic and dirty, every time he fucked his twitching, aching length against the sheets.

Still suckling your clit between his lips, Hiromi reached down to hook his cock up to press against his belly, his cockhead frictioned deliciously between his black happy trail and waistband.

You had never been eaten out in a way that was so primal, with Hiromi fucking his tongue into your heat, massaging the area around your clit with his liquor-soaked lips, and rolling his tongue over the hard little pearl of your clit until you almost blacked out, your nerves stripped bare by the shock and wine.

Hiromi was rough, looping his arms over your thighs and dragging you back to his mouth every time you mewled and tried to crawl away from him. He'd respond with a sharp nip to the inside of your thigh, and an admonishing look, before rubbing his face savagely from side to side over your sopping cunt and clit, growling into the wet mess he'd made of you.

As you squirmed and yanked the roots of his hair, clamping your thighs around his head, Hiromi mumbled into your pussy, focusing his tongue and lips on your clit before abruptly sliding three bunched, long fingers into your hole, fucking you hard and fast with them until he felt your silky sweet spot.

Hiromi fucked the bed in time, imagining in his drunken stupor, that the wet squelches and frantic cries from you, were from his cock slamming in and out of you instead.

"--c'mon baby...in m'mouf, cum in m'mouf...good girl, so good, s'good...gonna cum...m'gonna cum...fuuuuckkk, shit--"

Dragging you with biting, sucking, growling urgency through your orgasm, Hiromi came in tandem; his ruts into the mattress, and his pitched, desperate moans became slower, and softer, as his seed poured out under his shirt, soaking the white fabric, sticky and cloying against his twitching belly.

His fingers still inside you, his nose and mouth still between your folds, face-down on the bed as you came down from your absolutely feral high...you heard a snore.

Rising on shaking elbows, you looked down the bed. Cum-soaked, drunk, and sticky with your arousal, Hiromi snored soft, drunk snores into your pussy.

In the morning, you showed him the photo you took of him, this way, before watching the video Hiromi's colleague sent you of him singing old rock songs while the whole karaoke bar cheered him on.

[borednhungy]

Mid-RoW, so you're telling me i could potentially disrupt fused activities with a shit ton of these things?

Man imagine being an all powerful enemy spirit and your true weakness be fucking aluminum. Too bad wit couldn't carry them worldhopping :/

[moodysnowflake]

Sir, can we talk first?

No seriously, can we talk...Please?

No? Ok...

[icecream-and-gadreel]

Think about tocuhed starved Gadreel begging for affection after a really rough hunt ughhhh

A/N: Lemme go ahead and write a drabble before I start teaching cause asghdgjhgkjjfhdgsf

Gadreel crawls above you, a look on his face of pure exhaustion. You brush a hand over his arm, eyebrows shooting up as he immediately leans into the contact. "Gad..." you let your voice trail away as his head falls down to your chest.

"Touch me," he says, hands gently creeping up your sides. "Hold me." He nuzzles into you, gently guiding your arms to wrap around his back. "Hold me tight, please," he says, voice coming out in a shuddered breath. You wrap him tight in your arms, and he damn near moans, tangling his legs with yours and pressing impossibly close. "Don't let go."

"I won't baby," you say, pressing a kiss against his forehead. He's never been the shy type, but this is new. He squeezes you tighter, a moan rumbling in his throat as you give him the same treatment.

"My light," he begins, pressing kisses along your shoulder blades. "The dawn of my day," he adds, kissing along the length of your neck. "I've missed you so, so much." You take him into a kiss, and he shudders, hands reaching to cup your face. "Every touch from you is intoxicating."

[theempressar]

Juuuussttt gonna leave this here...in case anyone was interested...

[serpentide]

° • * ˚ ⁀ ➷ @wolvensden , the horror and the wild : ❝ I won’t let you turn our last night into this. ❞ ptn :)))

　𝐈𝐍 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇, 𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐎𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐆𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐍 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 ▬▬ when one's life is wholly barren of promises, it is easy to find refuge in the comforting thought of death. no matter how old she was, or in which place she abandoned herself to such macabre reveries, her death was always the same: it was cold, it was dark, it was yet another instance of utter and soul - crushing solitude. and mayhap, this is why his words evoked not a concerned grimace or a desperate sigh out of her, but a silver - belled laughter that instantaneously painted over any emptiness that she might have previously felt. sett was undoubtedly being much more dramatic and pessimistic than he ought to be, but there was something intimate about the prospect of spending her last moments in the company of another [  ... ] it was a grotesque kind of delight, a pleasure that could have roused the flames of only the most monstrous hearts, but the ophidian vixen had long since ceased to regard herself as humane and thus, with claws and fangs, she held tightly onto it.

a merry simper, dulcet but sharp - fanged. ❝ do you really think that we're both going to die tomorrow ? ❞ although it is in obvious jest that she speaks, there is a coarse type of curiosity intertwined with each syllable that she coats in honey: even now, her voice is feather - light and mellifluous, the song of an hypnotizing snake that no longer wishes to be alone. her claw - tipped hand finds his own, and serpent observes for a moment just how great is the difference in size ▬▬ her hands may be even bloodier than his, yet they look so petite and harmless when he is the one to intertwine their fingers together. color - less gaze now returns him again and albeit through the silent language of fluttering lashes and jester - like smiles, she beckons him to give all of himself to her. ❝ since you are already stepping into your grave with one feet, why don't you tell me how we should spend our last night ? tell me, sett, how do you wish for us to meet our end ? ❞

[michelleleewise]

so...i was looking through my phone and came across this...

Someone...thought this was a good idea...

...and by 'good idea,' I mean, someone thought that they would ignite a rabid fanbase by showing Hiddleston's thighs in a wet bathtub!

look how smug he is about it too...hands behind his head...with shades...and the w-wet tshirt!

😫gawd the wet t-shirt!!

😳😳😳

The shirt......the thighs........umph!!!!

Ooooh....he knows EXACTLY what he's doing.....😏

Now......I would like to know whose idea it was to put this man in military fatigues because....*clears throat*........ the smug little smile......that swagger.....the rolled up sleeves showing off those.....forearms......😳🥵 I can't!!

[charlieswanismydad]

i can’t stop thinking about siren call help

[alleycatking]

[borednhungy]

i will stand by what i said, the leafs are cursed when their ancestors dropped the cup in the fire

[moodysnowflake]

Vash is deliberately getting his ass beaten to give Nico the freaking time to think (also getting the check back right into his chest - klang).

Kangaero Nico.

Fucking kangaero!

[phosphenemoth]

When he makes you feel so good, you start listening to lana del rey's unreleased hits and heavy sigh while staring at the ceiling.

[borednhungy]

Invite the doctor in the bathroom?

If you’re an American when you walk in the bathroom, and an American when you walk out of the bathroom, what are you while you’re in the bathroom?

…

European.

(By the way Jeff I promise this joke is a lot funnier if you read it out loud.)

Solid!

[musicinthebranchesoftheveins]

Manish Boy wouldn't be the same without guys yelling in the background

[blkwag]

bad bunny so foine

[deanaferal]

saw a post that made me remember:

Olsson draped a wool jacket over the shoulders of hostage Kristin Enmark when she began to shiver, soothed her when she had a bad dream and gave her a bullet from his gun as a keepsake

Olsson’s benevolent acts curried the sympathy of his hostages. “When he treated us well,” said lone male hostage Sven Safstrom, “we could think of him as an emergency God.”

the Criminal podcast episode about this (#113 Hostage) is one of my favorites