#um yeah if I look at this any longer I'll delete it

[pand1on]

[loopingpyre]

Yeah, fair enough on the needing more detail point, I sort of wanted to test the waters to see if you'd even care first, cause I wasn't gonna waste time typing out a whole thing if the notion of JRPGs being fundamentally flawed didn't interest you and then you deleted my ask. So I guess I'll now oblige and explain in more detail.

I've been playing a few of the SMT games because my girlfriend really likes them and I, being a good girlfriend (trying to!) want to show that I care about her interests. Prior to this I've only really played Persona 3 and 5 and Yakuza 7. For this, I played Soul Hackers 2, and Devil Survivor 1 and 2 (1 to Yuzu's ending, and 2 to Ronaldo's ending), and about an hour of SMT V, which I found boring, and she, having played the whole game (I'm pretty sure) agrees with me that it's boring, so I decided to not keep playing it (for now at least)

My main issue with most all of these games comes mostly threefold: the amount of time and commitment they take, the difficulty and in particular the manner in which it is imposed, and the heavily formulaic nature of their plots. These are sort of holistic issues, I guess, so I can't really neatly divide them, but I'll try.

First of all: the time commitment. Playing both Devil Survivors to a single ending took me around thirty to forty hours each, going off of my save files. (I was playing the 3DS versions, mind, and listening to all the voice acting, which surely extended the time played.) I understand that it gets faster on NG+, and in itself, this isn't exactly the biggest of deals, because video games in general take a long time (it's the way it is really), but JRPGs just feel like they take way longer than the average video game and this issue compounds when one considers the latter two flaws I've observed.

So, secondarily: The difficulty, and the way it's imposed. Soul Hackers 2 obviously is not a hard game, and there's not that much variance in its content, and it's not the longest of these sorts of games, either, so I wouldn't say it's the greatest offender here (using that term feels wrong...), but with Devil Survivor 1, I felt this the most. About 80 percent of the way through the game, which I'd generally found to be quite unchallenging for the most part, I found myself suddenly struggling against Belial (the fire demon). During a grinding session in which I was trying to level myself up so that I could weather my way through this (to my annoyance, as I found the grinding incessantly tedious, more on that later), my girlfriend looked over my shoulder, and said "why do your stats look like that?"

You see, my stats, at the time, all four, magic, vitality, agility, and uh... What was the fourth one. Strength! Yeah, um they were *all* at exactly 17 (give or take 1.) I explained to her, rather calmly, that I had done this because I couldn't really choose which of the four stats I wanted more of, and thought it would be best if I made all of these numbers perfectly balanced and equal.

This is an approach I almost always take in most any video game that offers any form of upgrade or skill tree: I struggle with overchoice, can't choose a priority to go for, so every time I have resources with which to upgrade, I just upgrade whatever is most recently neglected such that I have a generally well-rounded skill set and can do a bit of everything.

She, an SMT veteran, immediately went like, "NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO "

And explained to me that the way I was *supposed* to do this, was to specialize in one area or another, magic or strength or tanking damage with high health, or whatever. To which I said "HOW THE FUCK WAS I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT!" She insisted I should have just known it, I guess? Anyway, I considered this a grievous design flaw that irreparably impaired my enjoyment of the game. As I did not have an old save file with which to revert my statting decisions, and did not wanted to restart the entire game, nor did I want to grind the same fucking goddamned shibuya battle over and over and over and over and over again for god knows how many hours until I somehow corrected my stats

I opted to use my (hacked) 3DS to install an external cheat which inflated my protagonist's level to 99 with all four stats at their maximum of 40. I did this because I had decided I hated how this game was balanced and wanted to finish it and no longer waste my time. I felt pleased with this decision, because I was playing through the bad ending in which the cast brute forces their way out of the lockdown and ruining the world, while myself brute forcing my way out of the game and ruining the game balance. *ahem* I mean, fixing the game balance

My girlfriend said "I'm glad you had fun ruining one of my favorite games :(((" In response, I opined that Devil Survivor would have been better if it were a straightforward visual novel.

While Soul Hackers 2 does not have this specific issue, given that Ringo's stats are all mostly preset by the game and you can only mildly boost them here and there, I did instead take umbrage with the way that the later floors of the Soul Matrix dungeon were organized around teleporters which teleport you from one island of the floor to another, with no clear sense of rhyme or reason to their routing. I considered these teleporters to be arbitrary and stupid, as they were frustrating, and demanded that I have the capacity for rote memorization of the layout and teleporter placement of an entire dungeon whose corners broadly look all the damn same. I called these a blatantly egregious example of "fake difficulty".

She warned me never to touch several of the older SMT games.

I booted up Devil Survivor 2, with my girlfriend's advice about specialization in mind. I enjoyed the game a lot more than Devil Survivor 1, but, for the sake of mitigating gameplay frustration, I pirated the DLC. I quickly realized I would not enjoy the grinding, even with the reduction of grinding that the DLC enables, and cheated to have infinite money so I could have more fun with the game. I went for Ronaldo's ending, because he's sort of a leftist and his voice acting makes him sound like Knuckles the Echidna from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I thought siding with "communist Knuckles the Echidna" was a very funny image

Anyway, across all three of these experiences, I generally wondered, "do I like these? do I like their stories? do I like their gameplay?" and I feel like the answer is broadly sort of... yes, sometimes, but generally no?

I kinda just don't really understand the appeal of being railroaded into repetitive tasks for the sake of increasing numbers that then decide whether or not you win, rather than like, your actual skill, which is just down to pressing the same buttons over and over. I get that part of the appeal is the long-term strategy of building your party, and that's valid and all, but I tend to very quickly get frustrated with it because often times I fail to intuit the correct strategy ahead of time, and the solution turns out to be "rewind the clock back several hours!" and I don't want to do that and have to redo all the work I did up to that point, and then potentially have to rewind again if I do it wrong.

So, the appeal is supposed to be the strategy, I guess, which just takes a lot of dedication that I don't have in me, but if I dial that down to make it easier, then the game's reduced to pressing more buttons, and, just isn't really fun at all in the way it's supposed to be. And that all might be fine if the story was worth the effort, but... is it?

All of these games have very thin narratives which all more or less boil down to "humanity good" vs "humanity bad" vs "humanity bad but sometimes good so it's worth it (sometimes)" ideological conflicts that all end up with killing one or another divine or cosmic entity with omnipotence of one or another variety, and like, cool, I guess, is that worth 50-100 hours of effort? Is that something I'm invested enough in to throw myself into an entire series, hell, an entire genre, of games for? I'm not really sure that it is, to me, so. Weh?

Is that really all that there is to this entire game genre? Like, outside of indie games that mostly have their own issues (they're all very derivatively ripping off Mother 3 and/or Undertale and/or Chrono Trigger and not generally bringing a lot of new mechanical ideas, and even still they just kinda find their way back to the issue of the grind not being that fun most of the time)

And my girlfriend has just argued to most of this that maybe I just don't like the games, and I shouldn't force myself to like them, and she'd like to please stop rehashing this argument with me, and maybe she's right, maybe I just don't enjoy JRPGs, and that's okay, but uh...

I don't know. I want to try and see what she sees in them and find out if I can really care about them the way she does. She has a Jack Frost plushie that I sometimes play with, and it's cute, and I want to care about him more the way she does, not just because he's cute but because I've played these games and had fun and know who he is and definitely don't hate his stupid little face aaahh I love him so much

and I keep inventing fun little lore for Frosty the Jack Frost plushie (she calls him Frosty) about how he sells stuff he stole to the Black Market which is owned by Black Frost, and he's planning to kill King Frost and overthrow the Frost Monarchy, and all that, and she seems to find that cute even though she keeps contradicting it with lore and trivia from the games and I keep going "well I dunno *in the back of my mind: but maybe I want to know*" and like

I'm sorry if this seems like an insane unhinged rant but I just really love my girlfriend and I think it'd hurt a little to have to give up on something she really loves, even if I know, intellectually, that she loves me more, and that that won't change if I don't like SMT, and it's okay if I don't like them.

But I want to like them. I genuinely do. I don't know how to like them and I don't know how to tell her I want to like them and am not trying to start a fight with her over something she loves. I don't know. Am I missing something?

for the record I kind of like a lot of things Soul Hackers 2 does and I think I'd like it a lot more if it was finished but that's a can of worms I maybe shouldn't open....

Holy shit this is so much and thank you so much also for caring enough for my opinion because i have a whole lot to say here, and I adore these games.

Let's break it down point by point.

Belial is fairly challenging, the game is hard. And I think your girlfriend has done you a severe disservice. If she wanted you to min-max your stats in a certain direction, she should have told you about that straight up. I can understand her immediate reaction due to it being uncommon, but how is that your fault? The game is actually designed for it anyway.

You're given party members that focus on different niches, Yuzu and Midori and Keisuke can all perform powerful magic offensive roles, Atsuro is a strong tank, Kaido has powerful offensive stats, and you share a skill pool, so having a less specialised build is really only going to make it that much harder if you try to make your protag the main attacker, which some SMT vets seem to instinctively do in these games. Having a mix means you could play the healer, carry an extra element or phys attack or status condition to cripple a foe.

I personally would have leant towards a code that lets you boost levels faster, but I think her response to cheating was unreasonable. I think the game is balanced well even if you make an even spread but you're trying to have fun and try her thing. Kind of rude to you really, because sometimes you just need to cheat, these games are HARD. Remember that escort mission earlier on? Kind of needlessly tricky.

There's a reason that new versions of these releases have additional easy modes. In some of their PS2 game promotion, Atlus PR famously said 'we get off on your tears'. That mentality has somewhat changed since. Whilst some, like I, say that the difficulty is kind of part of the point, there's only so much you should have to put up with. I actively reccommend cheats in some games as a way to ease you in, when they are so challenging.

(Were you playing the DS version? The Yuzu ending certainly isnt a 'bad ending' on 3ds. The 8th day makes it one of my fave endings. Trying to complete every ending is a fool's endeavor in my opinion, and you should only lean towards what you think is best. Maybe look up an ending guide on the offchance the cool ending you want is hidden in some way so you never have to touch the game again unless you actually want to. The point is about you making Your Choice.)

Moving along, Ronnie my beloved. Love that guy, his route is easily the best. I love Soul Hackers 2 despite it's frustratingly flaws of 'they ripped half the game out and sold it as day 1 dlc' and 'the fucking soul matrix', and a lot of people just dismiss it out of hand based on early dungeon design and miss out on the way it deals with it's cast. Im so glad you can SEE IT.

Within many Shin Megami Tensei games, the stat grinding difficulty is the point insofar as you are fighting a world that is falling apart and wants you dead. And even so, you keep fighting and surviving. These titles can be rather samey as they go over their various aspects of humanity over and over, but thus can they really be made a representative of the JRPG genre? What about Pokemon, which is about adventuring and bonding with your creatures? SMT has a distinct theme they stick to that they repackage in different flavours. Fuck it, play old ones and cheat in them. Load up on macca and buy a gazillion healing items to cut down the grind and overall playtime.

I've noticed a distinct absence of the Persona games too? Which is strange given how they all differ from traditional smt in terms of theming.

My favourite RPGs are 'The World Ends With You' and 'The Caligula Effect 2'. Entirely different from SMT and dont focus on 'humanity' in that way at all and they absolutely aren't representative of more mainstream JRPGs.

(sidenote, what are your favourite RPGs out of curiosity? I can probably help you hunt down some specific titles that you would like more?)

I adore your Jack Frost lore. Why can't that work in canon? Little fairy friend SHOULD overthrow the frost monarchy!

(and that sort of stuff is encouraged in Atlus' other series Etrian Odyssey, which is a dungeon crawler where you make a team of customised guys (you can start anywhere).

I think the only thing you can really do is play more, but i dont think you should push yourself either or you could burn out and appreciate it less. I'm sorry that I don't have magical advice that will solve that conundrum.

Thank you so much for coming to me though, it means a lot and I hope this ramble does anything for you. Im trying to check on my phone that I covered everything in your post and Im so sorry if I missed anything (please point it out if so).

Best of luck?

[littlemissmedicalmalpractice]

looking in my drafts and i found this half completed :''') sorry this is so late but thank u sm for the tag :D!!!

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

1. why did you choose your url? it's based on ieiri shoko from jujutsu kaisen :D (especially her in jjk 261.ajkhafks) though it's not super connected to her so i'd also say it's just cause i like it lol

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. @tibia-soup for tgcf and tlt, @sashisusupremacy for silly sideblog things, @a-nice-place which is shared for happy things :)

3. how long have you been on tumblr? i've been lurking anonymously on tumblr longer than i've been alive lol. um...i've probably had an account since 2019 or 2020, though i've made a lot of new ones and deleted far more than i've needed to :')

4. do you have a queue tag? i'm not nearly organized enough for that

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? mcu reader fanfiction...don't murder me please!!!

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? it's a beautiful ferret from this post to match with some mutuals <3

7. why did you choose your header? it's some very happy people who will never have anything bad happened to them ever 😇

8. what’s your post with the most notes? hm idk, i don't make a lot of original posts. probably one of the jjk haikus i wrote

9. how many mutuals do you have? mutuals that i actually interact with? around a dozen or twenty. mutuals that have been in the trenches with me through fandom wars but i've never spoken to? probably another twenty

10. how many followers do you have? 74 plus a handful of bots :)

11. how many people do you follow? 455 wonderful magical people

12. have you ever made a shitpost? have i every NOT made a shitpost is a better question 😎 (yes i have, got a whole blog for them)

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? very sporadically...sort of one day i'll be on it for hours on end but another day i'll only go on for five or ten minutes

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? i got very mad at a blog for insulting a book that i liked and i complained aggressively to my friend but i didn't say anything. i sort of get in a fight with someone being mean in the notes of my friend's post but after a couple replies i just blocked them

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts depends if they're joking or not. not my favorite type of post definitely

16. do you like tag games? yes!!! i'm bad at doing them bc procrastination 😌(edit this is even funnier now that i'm picking it up again) but they're fun to get to know people :)

17. do you like ask games? yeah :D, same thing as tag games

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? probably @godmodebeginswithlesbians though im not sure if we're technically mutuals...big blogs are intimidating to interact with :')

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? no but i think they're all so cool 👍❤️

20. what is the last song you listened to? 1234 by feist, it's on this old cd playlist my sister gave me

21. what are you currently watching? banana fish (rewatching...send prayers lol) and haikyuu (also rewatching!!! because watching olympics volleyball inspire me)

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? spicy!!!

23. what is your current relationship status? single and uninterested 👍 (aro)

24. what is your current obsession? FENGLIAN, a ship from tgcf....their dynamic is rotating in my brain so fast and all i can coherently think is the word angstangstangstangstangst

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

this is just my current playlist (minus a couple songs) lol, cause i almost never full albums :3

1234 by feist, same as before :)

psycho by kaiyi

superstar by lauryn hill

i hate texas by mxmtoon, which she just released!!!

notes in the stars by laura sherwin

mama's pearl by the jackson 5 (it's STUCK in my head send help)

your best american girl by mitski

csikós post by hermann necke

golden by jill scott

26. tagging (no pressure <3) @shrimpathizer @rumplestiltsbear @wolfspero @falcon-forest @checkeredcookie05 @mingguangsword @f1shpotatoes @fire-in-my-eyes @tea-loving-introvert and @ anyone else who's interested :D

nine albums or songs I've been listening to lately x nine people I’d like to get to know better x tag game with no name

(thank you for the tag @lianhuajing !!)

1. why did you choose your url? uh. it was a play on "rose tinted glasses"

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them. nope!

3. how long have you been on tumblr? I think 2022? i knew about it before, just never bothered to make a blog

4. do you have a queue tag? don't kill me, what's a queue tag?

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? I had some Thoughts about Blue Lock and wanted to post meta for it

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp? uhh Flora.

7. why did you choose your header? Reo is one of my Blorbos and I just really liked that panel of him

8. what’s your post with the most notes? probably the "do you download fics" poll

9. how many mutuals do you have? about 20? i don't remember

10. how many followers do you have? 120?

11. how many people do you follow? 91

12. have you ever made a shitpost? yes. i think.

13. how often do you use tumblr each day? an hour?

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? nope

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts meh. some of them are funny i guess

16. do you like tag games? yep! it's nice interaction

17. do you like ask games? i do! but uh. it's a silent empty void here. an echo chamber, if you will.

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous? i have no idea but i see @kingsandbastardz a lot in the mlc community

19. do you have a crush on a mutual? nope

20. what is the last song you listened to? 若梦 by 周深

21. what are you currently watching? i just finished The Double! probably starting on Dashing Youth next

22. sweet/ savoury/ spicy? savoury!

23. what is your current relationship status? single

24. what is your current obsession? The Double,,,,

25. what are nine albums/ songs you've been listening to lately?

若梦 by 周深

如故 by 张碧晨

如初 by 张碧晨

借过一下 by 周深

万物不如你 by 张杰

Our dawn is hotter than day by Seventeen

Hitorijana by Seventeen

my music taste is kinda...i tend to stick to a few artists...

26. tagging (no obligation to do this!) @randomingoftherandomness @good-vs-evo @chrysofightme @bbcphile

[digisims2]

I'm going through my projects folder and deleting old things I no longer need or forgot what it was all about and I'm finding some really weird things and thought I'd share some with everyone. :D

This is going to be long post with bunch of pictures so I'll put the rest under the read more. Oh um, warning possible bodyhorror / trypophobia right under the cut!

For starters self, what the hell is this?

I wish I had any idea. Clearly it's an eye mask with... a lot of eyes. For what reason? I don't know. I have no recollection of creating this thing but apparently I did so back in October 2019. Maybe it was going to be a Halloween gift? That's like the only sensible idea I have. I think the texture for it is kind of really pretty though:

It just stares at you, unblinking, forever disappointed. Unthreateningly it was just called "facemask" so I had no idea what awaited when I clicked on it. This was not what I expected it to be.

Moving on, what the hell is this and why have I made it?

Also fresh from 2019. Judging by the textures it's a "conversion" of some Sims 4 makeup but I have no idea why it exist. I can't think of a single reason why I'd want this sort of eyeshadow in my game. To the trash it goes.

Then I found these simple eyes:

I don't think I ever finished them, from 2020. Apparently they were supposed to be kinda like this anime/game character since his picture was pasted in the texture:

Yeah I don't know either + the reference image is damn near useless, you can barely even see the eyes so A+ job me! Anyway these eyes aren't anything special so I'm deleting them too now.

Then I found these eyes, they're titled as "newdefaulteye" so clearly I had big plans for them.

Apparently I've exported them somewhere since the .psd in the folder has all the colors. These are from February 2021. I think they're actually quite pretty so I'm confused about why I haven't shared them. Here's a closeup of a better color so you can see the details on the texture:

Seriously, it is nice isn't it? Why did I not finish and share these? I will never know. Maybe I'll slap them on a normal shaded sclera though, I know you don't appreciate my animation friendly one :P and then I'll remake and actually upload them.

Messily made pulled up version of.... I think Trapping's mesh?

This one I actually remember, I had seen plenty of such tops for Sims 3 and 4 and just thought "Hm, wonder if I could do something like that using an existing Sims 2 top?" and then did it. It clips like hell in game but I still have it and its recolors since nobody still has made (a better) such top for Sims 2. Wink wink nudge nudge at anyone with actual meshing skills.

Another unshared eye:

She looks as dead inside as I feel at work. Not going to finish these either since I don't like them so off to the bin with them.

Another eye set:

These were sort of version one for the July2022 eyes I did share. I wasn't happy with these so the version which I shared was born. Now I almost like these more than those so maybe I'll go back to them and try again?

Then I guess I tried painting eyebrows at some point last December?

Pretty sure the idea was to mirror it once I'd be happy with it but then I ended up never being happy with it. I'm still not happy with it and too grumpy to try again, to the trash bin.

Some animation friendly eyes I gave up after finishing the base texture:

And that's it. So many things I've just dropped and never finished. Maybe some of them drew a chuckle out of you or something.

[hyperpsychomaniac]

Bonding Exercise - Chapter 4

DT 17 Fanfiction

Summary: Scrooge is sick of Della and Launchpad fighting over the Sunchaser, which is costing him money, so he sends them on a 40 hour flight and orders them to sort out their differences.

Chapter 1

***

Della snorted awake and blinked the glare from her eyes wearily. The bedspread in front of her was a crisp white, reflecting brightly the beam of sunlight that crept through the window and across the hospital bed to finally rouse her. The hospital bed. And all the events on the aeroplane came flooding back to her.

"Oh hey, you're awake." Launchpad sat upright at the top of the bed, propped up by pillows. His arm was in a sling, a proper one, and the bandage around his upper arm was a lot neater than the blood-soaked mess Della had been able to do for him. He had his phone in his good hand. But he smiled at her faintly and immediately put it face down on his bedside table.

"So are you." When Della had finally fallen asleep last night, Launchpad had been entirely out of it. She had not expected to see him awake.

"I, er… woke up maybe an hour ago. It would've been hard to go back to sleep anyway. You were snoring like a freight train."

Della flushed. "Um… sorry."

Launchpad's gaze lowered. "Did you stay here all night?"

Della nodded. It had been morning when the woman from the station who'd contacted them made it to the aeroplane. Launchpad had still been out of it, and Della had hoped that was simply because he was sleeping off the creature's venom. They'd somehow managed to heft him into their rescuer's jeep. When Della had asked her what the thing that attacked them was and whether it was venomous, she had simply shrugged and said: "Probably. Everything out here is."

It had only been the few hours, late in the afternoon, when they'd finally traversed the miles of red dirt road and got Launchpad to a hospital, and he'd been taken into surgery, that the doctors had insisted Della had to wait outside.

"Of course. I promised I wouldn't leave you alone."

"Thanks, Della," Launchpad said quietly. "That means a lot."

Della glanced at Launchpad's phone. The device was no longer an annoyance to her. He'd been so upset on the plane, and it made sense, but she still didn't fully understand what had gone on. "Did…" she asked tentatively, "did your parents get your messages?"

Launchpad winced. "I said stuff about them, didn't I? Back on the plane."

"Sort of. Look, you were really out of it. I get if it's not something you want to talk about with me…"

"Those messages hadn't sent yet. So I deleted them. I think they would've freaked my parents out. They freaked me out. I know I was stressing about talking to them, but I didn't actually realise…" Launchpad gulped. "I didn't realise how badly I wanted them to be there for me. Even though they haven't always been. I don't even remember writing those messages. But that's what it sounded like from reading them."

Launchpad had his legs crossed under the covers, leaving free space at the bottom of the bed. Della scooted herself up into it. "LP, I'm so sorry. I didn't realise you had all this going on. I get why you didn't tell me. I mean, you've never talked about your family before. But I thought you were playing on your phone because you were ignoring me, and you weren't interested in not fighting, even for Dewey, and… I'm sorry. I've been acting like a complete and utter jerk." She hung her head.

"You weren't the only one. I'm sorry too."

"At least you had a good reason."

"Not really. I mean, yeah, I was distracted. I probably should've just replied to my parents instead of worrying about it for, like, an entire week. But I haven't spoken to them in years. I thought they didn't want to have anything to do with me. So I'm not sure how to talk to them, and I guess I froze up. But… I replied to them just now. I told them I missed them, and… they haven't responded yet. But I think they're probably asleep or something. I'll… I'll figure it out.

Launchpad plucked at the bedsheet as he spoke and wouldn't meet Della's gaze. "But it's not the only reason I've been a jerk and fighting with you and avoiding you. I…." He gulped, then looked up at her as he plunged ahead. "Della, ever since I started working for Mr McDee, and then flying his plane, and Dewey and his brothers came to live at the manor, and we all started going on adventures, and… you guys have been more of a family to me than my parents were. I don't feel like I'm getting in the way, even though I sometimes do and…

"And then you came back from the moon. And I'm really happy for Dewey. It's great he gets to have such a good mom, but… you're a pilot too. And you're way better at it than me, and… you're actually family. I haven't been able to go on as many adventures, and that was okay because I get it but… but now Dewey's learning to be a pilot as well." His shoulders sagged. "I'm pretty sure he's better than me already. I'm sure he'll even be great at landing. I'm really proud of him and all, but… now you've got yet another pilot and… is Mr McDee even going to need me?"

Della stared at him until she realised he actually expected her to answer his question. "Launchpad…" She reached out without thinking and grasped his hand. She felt his fingers tense at her touch, wrapping around hers. "Even if Scrooge doesn't need you, I… I want you to help teach Dewey about flying too."

"Come on, Della. You don't want me teaching Dewey anything. I'm a lousy pilot, and you wouldn't have yelled at me so much if…"

"No, listen to me. Yeah, I was mad. But that was before I freaked out trying to land in a dust storm because I was worried my friend would bleed out behind me. The way you talked me through the crash, you need to teach that to Dewey. I mean, I don't want him to crash, but sometimes you have to, and, well… you didn't freak out even though you'd pretty much just been stabbed…"

"You really want me to help teach him?"

"Yeah, really. Just ask me whenever you want to take him up, okay? Don't do it behind my back."

Launchpad nodded. He smiled faintly. "Hey, I guess we can be nice to each other. If we try."

Della smiled back. "Dewey's right. We should be friends, even if we fight a bit. And that's okay. As long as we promise not to be jerks to each other. Deal?"

"Deal. And thanks…" Launchpad glanced briefly at his phone. "It does mean a lot, you know, that you were there for me when I needed someone."

Della swallowed. "Launchpad, your parents…"

"What about Mr McDee?"

"About…"

"He's mad about how much money we're spending on the… the Cloudslasher. If he gets sick of it, it's not you he's going to fire."

Della sighed. "The… the Sunchaser."

Launchpad blinked at her.

"Come on, LP, I named her when I was like nineteen. Sunchaser suits her a lot more. She might be big and clunky, but she's dependable and… I don't know, she sort of reminds me of you. But like Dewey said, we both love her. So assuming we can scrape her up off the desert floor, if Scrooge doesn't want double the maintenance costs, then between the both of us, we should be able to halve them instead."

Launchpad squinted. "Wait, so half is…"

"Huh?"

"Half of what it should be, or what we're spending on it now, or… ? Do we have to think about fractions because they really stress me out…"

Della groaned. "You know what? I'll get Huey to do the maths. All we've got to do is work together to figure out how to make it less. Plus, we should be taking care of the old girl properly anyway."

Launchpad's phone chirped on his bedside, and he visibly flinched. He reached out his hand for it, then paused.

"You know what, I can go get some coffee?"

"Er, I'm not sure I'm allowed to have coffee right now."

"I… LP, I'm going to leave the room for a bit."

"Oh, yeah, okay." Launchpad pulled the phone towards him, took a deep breath, and unlocked the screen.

Della left him and went in search of a coffee machine. She did feel a little better now. And not just because Launchpad was awake and seemed to be doing okay. Finally, they were talking to each other, and it felt like a weight of frustration had lifted from her chest. She just wished it hadn't taken Launchpad getting hurt to push them into it.

Still, Della was pretty sure one life-threatening experience didn't put them anywhere near close enough for her to start butting into his personal life. It had only been the dose of venom in Launchpad's system, on top of everything else, which had resulted in him breaking down on her. She would give him the privacy he needed to work out whatever was happening between him and his parents.

But whatever that was was hurting him, and Della realised she cared. She didn't want to see Launchpad in a mess like back on the Sunchaser. But, apart from being there for him when he was hurt, she wasn't sure what she was supposed to do about it.

But like Dewey had asked of them, maybe the place to start was to just try and be friends.

***

Author's note: Done! If you've enjoyed please feel free to leave me any comments. I usually try to respond. :)

[osamiiya]

Pairing: Sakusa Kiyoomi x Reader

Summary: Sakusa always gets the same coffee, black with no sugar or cream, but somehow he finds himself asking for a coffee recommendation from the cute barista.

a/n: I don't know what this is really, my fics haven't been doing well, so we'll see how this one does.

Part 2

The warm air of the cafe Sakusa frequents is comforting and provides relaxation, the smell of coffee string enough that Sakusa can smell it throuy his mask.

"Hi, what can I get you?" Sakusa blinks, this wasn't the regular barista, you're probably new he assumes, eyeing the 'Ask me for recommendations' badge next to your name.

"I'll get a black coffee." You look at him, blinking a couple times before realizing that that was it.

"Oh, ok, anything else?" He shakes his head, slightly enjoyed the way you flustered yourself.

"And it's for..." You're not meeting his eyes, flustered, and for some reason Sakusa feels like he's won.

"Sakusa, please." You write his name on the cup, adding a smiley face at the end of his name.

You thank him and he walks over to the receiving area, watching as you interact with customers, and of the two he saw order, both decided to take your recommendation.

He makes a mental note to come back to get your recommendation, clearly if other people were getting it, it should be good.

"Sakusa?" Your voice calls out, and his heart skips a beat for some reason.

Sure he thought you were attractive, but that shouldn't warrant any feelings.

Shaking away any thoughts, Sakusa nods his head as he takes his coffee, pulling down his mask to take a sip, making sure that it was correct.

You watched wide eyed as he pulled down his mask, 'no man should ever be that attractive' you decide, busying yourself by spraying and wiping down the counter that you used.

Sakusa finds himself smiling at the smiley drawns next to his name, before smiling harder while watching as you wash your hands before and after wiping down the counter, then moving to wipe down the coffee machine.

Yeah, he's definitely going to come back.

---

The next morning, he walks in to find your smiling face, taking orders and making them yourself. It was just you this morning, and he supposes it makes sense, Sunday mornings were never that busy.

"Sakusa was it? What can I get you today?"

You both know that Sakusa really wants a black coffee, he made an impression on you yesterday, on that you wouldn't be forgetting soon.

"What's your recommendation?"

Your eyes go wide as you move to delete the black coffee you added to his order, looking up quickly and studying his face.

"How about an espresso macchiato?"

He nods his head, sounds good enough.

At his approval you happily write his name on a cup, this time drawing a star next to his name, keeping with your, now starting, pattern of adding shapes to the end of his name.

He pays and you smile at him.

"It'll be out soon."

---

This goes on for a couple of weeks, Sakusa getting a different coffee every day, eventually become familiar with you and your work schedule, which he always made a point to come during.

Until you weren't there.

"Hi what can I get you?" The boy taking his order looks bored and like he would rather be anywhere else.

Sakusa clears his throat, slightly disappointed tht you weren't here to smile and draw a shape or symbol to the end of his name.

"Black coffee."

"Is that all?"

"Um." Sakusa pauses, is this really appropriate?

"Y/n, the previous barista who worked during this shift. Where are they?"

The boy's eyes light up in recognition at your name.

"Y/n was assigned to be a manager at a different location, I don't know where though."

Sakusa hums and pays, mind elsewhere.

He tries not to cringe when the boy dosent wipe down the counter or machine, not even washing his hands properly.

Sakusa takes his coffee with a nod, and turns to find you standing outside, waving in.

Immediately brightening, he speed walks over to where you stood, dressed in street clothes.

"The boy said you changed locations." It comes out awkward and strangled, because Sakusa's not sure if he's allowed to feel this happy to see you.

'They've trained me like pavlov's dog.' He laughs to himself.

"I was hoping to get here before you got your coffee, to give you one last recommendation, but looks like you beat me to it." You're smiling, and Sakusa dosent ever want to look away.

You let out a gasp in realization and dig through your bag, pulling out a little marker.

"Give me your cup for a second."

Confused, Sakusa hands his cup to you, before realizing with glee that your drawing a smiley next to his name.

You're taking longer than usual though, and when Sakusa gets his phone back, you're rambling about how you're going to be late, and before Sakusa can stop you, you're gone.

He looks down at his cup, trying to see what took you so long, before widening his eyes.

'Call me; xxx-xxx-xxxx - Y/n :)'

---

Permanent Taglist:

@sachirou-senpai @prayerofthehaim @ryusex-wife @x-ia-n @wompwomphq @elianetsantana

[toonformers]

Here's something cool. Know the Redemption AU I talked about a while back? I started a script of the first episode, Transform and Roll Out. It plays out almost the same as the episode, with some added dialogue. I just wanted to show you it n.n

Episode 1

Transform and rollout

[Flashback scene, Autobot prosecution center]

[Optimus, Sentinel and Ultra Magnus are present]

UM: Optimus Pax, Sentinel Minor, you stand accused of exiting the Autobot Academy during curfew hours, stealing one of the Academy ships and participating in an unsanctioned mission to a forbidden organic planet, with the intention of obtaining rare energon from a decepticon cargo ship. And due to this disregard for the rules our society, you’ve lost one of our best intelligence students, Elita One. How do you plead?

Sentinel: [looks at Optimus’ direction angrily and turns away]

Optimus: It was my fault, sir. I had planned this mission. And when we lost Elita, I panicked and intended to pin the blame on my colleague, Sentinel. But I could never betray him, for he’s been nothing but kind to me. I’m sorry I’ve disappointed you, sir.

UM: Sentinel Minor, anything you’d like to add?

Optimus: [Looks at Sentinel sadly]

Sentinel: Yes…. *sigh* He’s lying, sir.

Optimus: *whisper* Sentinel, what are you doing?!

Sentinel: Optimus didn’t plan this mission. I did. I even have the plans in my dorm to prove it. I wanted to make easy money. But I wanted to share it with my friends. I didn’t think anyone would get hurt. Or worse… And when we lost Elita, I snapped and blamed Optimus. But he shouldn’t take the fall for this. He couldn’t have done better. And I’m sorry I ever put you through this Opi.

Optimus: *smiles worriedly*

Sentinel: *smiles, goes back to serious* So please, sir; punish me, but leave my friend out of this.

UM: I see…you did a very brave thing, Sentinel. Admitting your mistakes isn’t easy, especially knowing it could cost your future. However, Optimus was an accomplice to this mission and therefore will receive the same punishment as yourself. Your time in the Autobot Academy will be terminated and will be sentenced to work in space bridge repair and maintenance. [distant scream, male] What in the world…?

[End of Flashback]

[Optimus and Sentinel’s ship, both watching history videos]

Sentinel: [Looks at Optimus, then back at the screen] That one in the back needs to pick up the pace.

Optimus: I’m sure he’ll be fine.

Sentinel: Woop, there he goes. Hey, he’s still going. Here come the medics.

Optimus: Just in time. [Moment of silence] Think he’s still online?

Sentinel: Hard to say. Those wounds aren’t easy to recover from. But I could be wrong.

Voice in video: …the Autobots battled valiantly in the name of honor. Their courageous exploits bringing hope and glory to a beleaguered war torn planet, and inspiring countless generations of robots yet to come online.

[Ratchet enters]

Ratchet: What a load of scrap metal. Why do you two waste your time with those old history vids?

Optimus: All the great Autobot leaders learn from the past.

Ratchet: Look around, Primes. The Great War ended centuries ago.

Sentinel: True. But you were there. In the moment. You saw what happened. We weren’t there. We didn’t see what happened.

Optimus: Yes, thank you Sentinel. What where the decepticons really like?

Ratchet: Trust me, kid; you’re better off not knowing. Besides, looks like the young bots could use a hand.

Bulkhead, distant: BUMBLEBEE! My wrecking ball’s stuck again!

[Sentinel snickers as Optimus sighs]

Optimus: [looks at Sentinel] Want to help?

Sentinel: I’m offended you even asked. *smirk* [gets up with Optimus and both follow Ratchet]

Ratchet: Just take it easy, kid. You may have that new processor, but you’re still healing from the surgery. Don’t overdo it.

Sentinel: Yeah, yeah. I’ll be fine.

Optimus: Ratchet, you ever get the feeling you were programmed for something more than repairing space bridges?

Sentinel: You mean like me, every cycle?

Ratchet: I got a diagnostics program that can delete that feeling like a bad line of code.

Sentinel: Ha. No thanks. Replacement surgery was enough.

[Optimus opens the door, all bots transform to vehicle mode and head out to BB and Bulkhead]

[Pan to Bulkhead, dangling from a cord. His wrecking ball wedged in a rock pile]

Bulkhead: I don’t like heights, Bumblebee!

[BB appears running up Bulkhead]

Bumblebee: Cool your circuits, Bulkhead. I’m working as fast as I can, and you know there’s no bot faster. *shoots rocks, no effect*

Bulkhead: [looks at BB unimpressed] [watches BB kick rocks then looks down covering mouth] I think I’m gonna blow a gasket!

Bumblebee: Try to hold it in a little longer. [Rocks tumble, BB and Bulkhead scream and fall on top of each other]

[Optimus, Sentinel and Ratchet arrive and transform to robot mode]

[Sentinel is snickering]

Optimus: Alright, what seems to be the problem?

Bumblebee: I think the technical term is “bunch of big honking rocks jamming space bridge”.

Sentinel: So I see. If that’s all, we’d just need to do a standard clean up and we’ll be good to go.

Optimus: Seems so. Thank you, Sentinel.

Bulkhead: Know what I can’t figure out? Why would anyone want to transport to this All Spark forsaken sector?

Optimus: That’s not the point, Bulkhead. We have a job to do. And no problem is insurmountable with the right tools…and a little teamwork. [Optimus wields his axe and begins smashing rocks] Everyone lend a servo. Bulkhead…[Bulkhead is punching rocks] …and you, Bumblebee. [Bumblebee is shooting rocks] C’mon, Ratchet. [Ratchet uses electromagnets to levitate the rocks] [Optimus suddenly stops and looks at Sentinel. Sentinel smiles] Go on, Sentinel.

[Sentinel wields his plasma knuckles and punches away the rocks at an extremely fast pace. After every fifteen seconds or so, he would stop and a hiss would come from his arms followed by steam. Then he would start again]

Sentinel: I think I’m getting better at it!

Optimus: I see! Very nice! You too, Prowl! *looks around* Hey, where is Prowl? [Shuriken suddenly appears and breaks a rock next to Sentinel, who was startled. The shuriken returns to Prowl]

Prowl: Just have to know the weak spot.

Sentinel: Maybe a warning next time, you malfunction!

Prowl: That would just mess up my time. *Ratchet sighs as Sentinel crosses arms and mutters*

Ratchet: Young bots. Can’t live with ’em. Can’t melt ’em down for spare parts…

Bulkhead: *whisper* Why is he so grumpy all the time?

Bumblebee: *whisper* You’d be grumpy too if you had one servo in the scrapheap. [Ratchet smacks the back of BB’s head as Sentinel cackles]

Ratchet: I may be one servo in the scrapheap…but I can still hear!

Optimus: Okay, I know where stuck out here in the middle of nowhere on a thankless assignment, but remember, we are all cogs in a great big Autobot machine.

Prowl: *facepalm* Not this speech again…

Optimus: A machine that’s stronger as a whole, than any one component part. [The ground begins to shake and rumble] Together, we can move mountains. [Space bridge opens, the sudden opening pushing the Autobots away from it]

Sentinel: How about space bridges??

Optimus: Not funny! *looks around* Protocol Alpha 1-3!

Sentinel: You got it! *runs to Bumblebee, smashing incoming rocks* Go, kid! *Bumblebee runs off. Sentinel catches Prowl in mid air and gets him out of the way.*

Optimus: *Nets incoming rocks heading toward Bulkhead. Shuts off bridge with grappler*

Bulkhead: *mouth opened in shock*

Prowl: Impressive. *shuts Bulkhead’s mouth*

Bulkhead: Where did you learn moves like that?

Optimus: We trained in the Autobot Academy.

Ratchet: So how did Academy bots end up in a broken down maintenance crew?

Bumblebee: Yeah. Shouldn’t you be in the Cybertron Elite Guard or something?

Optimus and Sentinel: …

I'll leave that as a part 1 haha. If you liked it, I'll do more n.n

[yanyanderederechan]

Speaking about Mercy I had a dream where I was in what seems to be this fancy apartment and the only thing I remember is throwing the items around the place at kai. That got me thinking: what if the reader, after recovery/time skip moves too(sprinkle some amnesia in there) and kai sees them moving in and is like "I should at least finish the job" but her conflicted feelings come back and so instead of a B&E quick kill its a grown woman hovering over your sleeping body silently weeping

Now my computers broke so this is unedited. Sorry, this took so long, longer than necessary, I apologize. Kaya’s hair is blonde in this btw.

Mercy pt 2

Kaya didn't notice it at first, too absorbed in her phone to care about the people that weaved around her before someone grabbed Kaya, causing her phone to clatter against the concrete as a car speed in front of her.

"Miss, um, sorry about that. You oughta, watch where your walking. We wouldn't want you to get hurt, now would we?" Kaya's orbs remained fixated on her shattered phone; irritation flared across her face before she closed her eyes and turned to face her savior with a timid smile.

"r...right, sorry to give you any trouble." her eyes fluttered open with a slight glare as they bent down to pick up her phone, allowing her heart to stop when they gazed back at her with (e/c) orbs.

"here," they smiled at her; with a shaky hand, she reached out to grab the device, "Hey, do you live in the area? I just moved in, and a friend of mine wanted me to try out this cafe. Do you know where it is by any chance?"

"Yeah, it's right down there across the street from the antique store," She gestured to the right of her; Kaya smiled when they thanked her and took off in the direction of the cafe. "You're not supposed to be here," she mumbled as she dug around in her bag for a cap, phone, and a spare hoodie, tossing her phone in the closest bin as she took after the familiar face.

She shadowed them for a week, now normally she wouldn't have had they not deleted their social media accounts there was no way for her to get through to them. it's as if after the accident they went off the grid.

Leading her to this very moment, her fingers danced across the railing of their apartment building, counting the doors down, as she arrived at theirs. Pulling the key, from her pocket, she walked into the apartment; making a beeline towards the bedroom.

The knife was shaky and clammy in her grasp, turning them over to straddle them. Vision stirring as things began to blend and blur together, she bit her lip as it began to quiver. Pressing the knife against their sternum, quiet sobs began to slip from her lips.

“I was wondering when you'd find me, ” startled kaya was quick to wipe her tears away, they smiled up at her. She pushed the knife against their chest harder”

“You know I was so confused when I got out of the hospital, I couldn't remember a thing two years ago, it wasn't till halfway into the year I started to get snippets of you and what you did, ” their hands cupped her.

“Sh..shut up, I'll kill you... I’ll fucking kill you!” her hands were pulled above her, as she was pinned down to the bed, a look of surprise flashed across her face.

“If you wanted to kill me you would have done it right the first time, ” they pried the knife from her hands, “ your hair, it was longer and darker wasn't it? Things are still a little fuzzy.” kaya started to thrash and kick around, their smiled widened.

Their name fell from her lips like a mantra as she began to beg and plead to be let go. An endless stream of tears trickled down her face as sobs and screams, a hand pressed against her nose and mouth.

“You see kaya, dear, you've told me you love me, it echoes in my mind constantly and now that I have you, im not letting you go.” kaya couldn't see straight, she felt light-headed, and a part of her told her that if she could feel it, her lungs would burn.

Kaya has never hated herself more than in this moment, she never should have shown them mercy. The more she thinks about it the more she thinks she should have shot them left to rot in that broken building. 

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Enough lowkey happened on that camping trip that this can be near the start of the holidays, like we already been knew but we're pretending still at this point that none of this is real okay lads, obviously they at the stage of pretending to be more life and soul than they actually are 'cos all the fakery so when she's in a mood and gone off it's more noticeable, you feel?] Jimmy: [that's a whole fat mood even if he doesn't actually find her with Harry he'd still be like UM hello] Janis: [I don't think she shoulda 100% come out with the intention of doing this but when she wanna (cos Jimmy, obvs, we know Harry is not that hot or charming really lol) can't it's like well this isn't real so I can't ask him so I wanna be with someone who I can for real, like it could be anyone but he's the obvious choice...apart from that, I think we can go] Jimmy: [100% agree it's not like a calculated bitch move and we know how messy they get at parties so] Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yep Janis: fresh air Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: 🚽 Jimmy: Oi you're not 🤢 are you? Janis: Fuck off Janis: 'course I ain't Janis: only room with a lock Jimmy: what's up then? Janis: that song was so offensively shit Janis: can't hear myself think Jimmy: come outside Janis: why? Jimmy: I'll pick you a 🌹 obvs Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: a valid one Janis: if I've gotta act 😍 over that, how big the crowd I'm walking into is, etc Jimmy: it's quieter out here, dickhead Janis: idk, could run a bath and go under Jimmy: 💀💀💀 pact's for two Jimmy: can we both fit? Janis: the bath is suitably impressive Janis: no marble though so I'm disgusted, obvs Jimmy: won't somebody think of the blood splatter? 😒 Jimmy: let me in then Janis: What kind of proposition is that? Janis: Give me five minutes Jimmy: so high maintenance, you Janis: If you wanna be known as the kind of boyfriend who has to watch their girlfriend take a piss, be my guest Jimmy: who are you talking about my kinks to, girl? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no need Janis: all 👀s on us at all times Jimmy: yeah and I look like a right dickhead Jimmy: hurry up, Janet Janis: go 🚬 Janis: I'll be there in a few Jimmy: love when you tell me what to do Jimmy: 😍😍🤤 Janis: I'll add it to the kink list to 📢 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when it's so awkward like hope there ain't an audience bye] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos standard but is looking at her like ??] Janis: [taking it and just smoking for a bit 'some nights, this is just more inconvenient than others, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['Nah, it's inconvenient every night, mate' shrugs but is clearly like what the fuck do you mean] Janis: [🙄 'obviously but-' shrugs but in a idk how to word this now kinda way '9/10 when we ain't putting on a show we can still do what we want, yeah?'] Jimmy: [nudges her like go on and taking a big drag while he works out what that means and then takes a hot sec to answer we all know why 'depends'] Janis: ['yeah, it's the depends, ain't it' nods like we're on the same page now 'the shit you wanna do but technically can't 'cos it jeopardizes the whole performance, even when you ain't'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like what even though he knows cos gonna make you say it always #thatbitch] Janis: [just the longest smoke break lmao 'like if we actually wanted to hook up with someone at this party, we can't'] Jimmy: Bathroom door's got a lock on it Jimmy: you said Janis: Obviously Janis: as if there's any chance of 'cheating' without every cunt seeing Janis: they seem thick but they're well up on all this gossip bullshit Jimmy: not with that 🥉 attitude Jimmy: 💕 conquers all, Jules, ain't you heard Janis: Now I'm an amatuer, yeah? Jimmy: do you need me to say it again using the 📢? Janis: how many lasses you had in there tonight then Jimmy: As many as I want Jimmy: [walks away rudely] Janis: alright Janis: message received Jimmy: is it? Janis: Nothing cryptic about it, really Jimmy: we don't need coded 🗨 Jimmy: save that for whoever's meeting you in the bathroom Janis: I doubt I'd be meeting anyone if I had to go to that length of espionage Jimmy: Oi 💀👑 would go to the ends of the earth for you, my dear Janis: 💀👑 can also manage a game of chess, so I hear Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: as romantic nights in go, you could do worse Janis: Romance would not be in his vocabulary, if he knew he had one Janis: thank fuck Jimmy: 💔 or 👍 Jimmy: Delete whichever one Janis: Doing someone else to make you jealous is a cliche too far, I reckon Jimmy: good job that ain't why then Jimmy: you can crack on Janis: Bill would be well let down Jimmy: I ain't got a balcony for him to haunt, it's alright Janis: 🤞 the lack of marble don't vex him then Jimmy: wouldn't be my first 👻🥊 if he really wants to get a mard on Janis: 👍 in a bit Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [later but not like hours obvs] Janis: you still about? Jimmy: weren't gonna just do one without telling you Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [in my head he's having a drink with some art hoe from his class cos saying they're chatting would be a stretch lol] Janis: 💕 Janis: [obvs like oh but recovery of coming over and having a swig of his drink like bonjour] Jimmy: [gives it to her so he has the excuse of going to get another one cos doesn't wanna talk to either of them rn] Janis: [oh the small talk you are not making, this girl, soz hun] Jimmy: [when you just in the kitchen like this takes longer than it does/you can't poss push through the peeps to get back] Janis: what's her story then Janis: why is she so 😪 Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: Got enough to 📢 about you Jimmy: and what? Janis: so stalker or you should at least be able to pull a name out your arse, like Jimmy: Why? I don't remember yours and you're my missus Janis: Hmm 😏 endearing quirk or a sign of early-onset dementia Jimmy: weren't that early 👴 me Janis: True Janis: be back in 🚼 'fore long Jimmy: if you've forgotten how old I am, might wanna get your own 🧠 checked, mate Jimmy: and yeah, your kinks are blatant, calm down Janis: I've been around enough actual babies to know I don't wanna pretend to look after one in my me time Jimmy: I ain't around you in your personal time Jimmy: let you off the 🕛 Janis: no one wants to fake hear about my adult baby kink, dickhead Jimmy: Dunno where I put my 📢 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: are you lost Janis: you've been ages Jimmy: now you miss me Janis: She wasn't much company Jimmy: I don't need to tell you, she ain't the only dickhead here Jimmy: or to crack on Janis: We'll have to be seen in the same room at some point Janis: or I'll just go home, like Jimmy: Off you go then Janis: yeah, 'cos I can just go Janis: you know how this works Jimmy: You ain't been caught out yet Jimmy: maybe the fans weren't as bothered as we reckoned Janis: 'cos I'm not an idiot Janis: which is what we'll both look if we have a weird domestic now Jimmy: you can leave that right out Jimmy: it's how I've looked for ages Janis: You said I could Jimmy: Piss off Janis: You did, you pretty much challenged me to do it Jimmy: Take the out Jimmy: I don't fucking need you here now Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: if I wanted an out, I'd do it Janis: that was the whole point of talking to you Janis: if you had a problem with it tonight you should've said so Jimmy: If you wanna go home, go home Janis: No, 'cos you want me to go home, I'm not going to Janis: and if you want an out, you'll have to fucking say that too Jimmy: I don't care, Janis Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yeah, fine by me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [storms through this party to go smoke again because that's the mood he's in] Janis: [when you'll have to go break something somewhere 'cos it is not okay, thank God we don't care about whoever's house this is] Jimmy: [honestly there better not be anyone annoying outside cos he will smack you lads] Janis: [seriously I'm like flat whites don't be there we can't be having the levels of violent rn 'cos can't deal with emotions] Jimmy: [likewise thank god he ain't going home to Ian rn cos that'd be a brawl and a half nobody needs] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [he is not drunk enough for this lol] Janis: [when you're so frustrated that was a blatant flop and now you can't leave but can't stay, fun poll] Janis: *lol rude Jimmy: [you had one job Harry ffs] Janis: [must assume he's left 'cos highkey and you'd have to sleep with him and not happening boy] Jimmy: [what do you think she did do before she was like ABORT MISSION] Janis: [it probably got to the usual point and it's like hmm still nothing so maybe she gave him head 'cos frustration honey but then was like good day] Jimmy: [I don't feel sorry for you sir but I do feel sorry for Jimothy because he'd be doing drinking games rn throwforward to their other domestic at that party remember cos only time he ever joins in with that kinda nonsense] Janis: [they're always so grim and you are gonna get so drunk boy, I truly dunno where you're gonna be, casually barricaded in some room you're trashing, like] Jimmy: [imagine some time has passed so he's drunker] Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Jimmy: you in the 🚽 again or what? Janis: no, I'm not Janis: all yours, mate Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: [sends her some flirty shit he's been sent meaning like I gotta hide but it comes across now like I'm gonna hit that #miscommunication ftw] Janis: There's that out you wanted Janis: good for you Jimmy: What? Janis: Don't what me like an idiot Jimmy: Don't be a twat like a twat Janis: Good one Janis: We'll pretend it'd be more scathing if you weren't pissed Janis: I said good for you, what more could I do to not be a twat? Jimmy: How about you pretend to have a word, you've only got the one job, rich girl Janis: What are you talking about? Jimmy: What did I just say? Janis: Why would I fake jealous of a girl you're gonna go fuck Jimmy: Why would you do owt to help me out? Fuck knows, tonight's obvs not the night for that Janis: You're making no sense right now Janis: and like fuck, this whole thing is about helping you out Jimmy: you Janis: me what Jimmy: You're making no sense Janis: This is stupid Janis: we ain't talking in circles Janis: you've got somewhere to be Jimmy: No I don't Janis: well, I'm not the one you need to let down gently then Jimmy: just Janis: I've already given her dirty looks Janis: ['cos you can't be in that room forever, like] Jimmy: [be extra like it's all for that girl's benefit okay boy] Janis: [when you're gonna respond like for like 'cos casual state you are in lawd] Jimmy: [have a MOMENT because god knows you're not gonna talk about any of this so obvs such a good idea to take your mood out this way instead of course] Janis: ['scuse the SHOW everyone but they can't get a room or the pretense is gone so] Jimmy: [also you all love it so] Janis: [ya perverts, lowkey start a softcore pornsite with all the footage y'all take] Jimmy: [honestly] Janis: [I get it, they're hot and this is low-key exhibitionism at this point 'cos frustrations] Jimmy: [when he's saying he missed her in between this intense sesh but is he saying it for the unnamed girl and the rest of the audience or because he actually wants to and has drunk enough 🤔] Jimmy: [because not saying it in a really extra fake way just genuinely like 'I missed you' bye] Janis: [excuse you, when neither she nor I is drunk enough to deal with that in a sensible manner] Jimmy: [it's fine we know they're not sensible rn or lowkey ever] Janis: [just gonna be saying his name like a reply, can't pretend you don't know his, babe] Jimmy: [nobody can pretend they don't know how into it he is, look away please art hoe gal] Janis: [there's some things you can't fake lads we know it] Jimmy: [especially when you're basically going as hard as you did on the school trip when you wanted Grace and Co to leave that room] Janis: [remember when, Grace does #triggered] Jimmy: [thank god we said she's not there cos this would be worse than that cos Janis is frustrated/angry af and he's angry/jealous af like imagine] Janis: [someone be shameless enough to stop them please 'cos we can't] Jimmy: [I know we've done the police before but have we done someone's parents rocking up? cos how shaming for this party thrower 🤞 it's not my boy Dan] Janis: [I don't think Dan is cool enough to throw a party at all, god bless and goodnight but yes a good idea, we shall do it] Jimmy: [when you have to go from 100000-0 cos nobody's gonna hear the parents key in the door over all that music and chaos so they just there like] Janis: [just running like lowkey what is happening but gotta go] Jimmy: [handholding for Winnie! at least until this boy has to stop cos can't run as fast or far as her] Janis: [don't vom that wouldn't be cute] Jimmy: [catch your breath and you'll be fine my beloved soft sir] Janis: [patting down his pockets like she's looking for an inhaler but obviously is looking for and gets out his pack of cigarettes like there you go, that'll sort you out 😏] Jimmy: [when he's gotta be so 😏 like steady on girl cos he's actually so 😳 and not just from running clearly, thank god for that 🚬 which we can all pretend suddenly needs the most intense concentration on earth like] Janis: [pushes him like shut up but is also 😳 so carrying on walking ahead so you can hide that and take a moment] Jimmy: [not even trying to catch up cos you also need a minute] Janis: are you going home? Jimmy: Are you? Janis: nah Janis: not when I can help it Jimmy: [shrugs like that's the most casual thing he's ever heard but looking at her like where are you going] Janis: [looking back and shrugging, continuing to walk on like let's see where I end up] Jimmy: [checking his phone to see if there are any other parties cos easter hols so obvs and showing her the options like do you fancy any of these] Janis: [a look like 'you wanna do more faking?' like you don't know oh girl and picking the party that's the closest to where they are right now] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I'll take free drinks over going home cos yeah that's the only reason okay] Janis: [nods like I hear that] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her like so come on] Janis: ['alright, alright' and walking needlessly fast 'cos minimal time alone is required] Jimmy: [when you automatically go to pull her back and then stop yourself cos no] Janis: [whether you notice that or nah, clearly pretending otherwise] Jimmy: [smoking and walking even if you have to light another one immediately idk how far this is and neither does he cos never knows where he is lol] Janis: [looking like 'aren't you gonna give me one?'] Jimmy: [looks back like not if you're 6 miles ahead of me but obvs does give her his and then lights a new one] Janis: [slowing down to take it but still keeping a pace ahead] Jimmy: [and he's just on his phone texting back and forth with Cass cos she's not asleep but should be but obvs he could be doing anything cos Janis don't know his life yet] Janis: [shamelessly like oh, take this time to think about your life and choices, babe] Jimmy: [let us take a moment to appreciate the state of them though like all the skin she's got on show and what he would've done to it, enjoy that in a sec Mia you nosy bitch] Janis: [gonna make her night truly, also he's probably feeling even more pissed 'cos cold air has hit him, like] Jimmy: [yeah that's always fun, thank god he didn't have time to get properly wasted cos Janis has enough catching up to do] Janis: [when you're low-key not even tipsy at this point 'cos the dramaaa] Jimmy: [Oh Jimothy you're clearly not serving as much of a look and you're too drunk, I'm disappointed in you] Janis: [we all know he looks good all the time it's rude] Jimmy: [get in this party and get her a drink boy but handholding cos coupleyness activated the second you're in] Jimmy: [I think he should share her drink because cute but also you don't need more rn and you know it but also he should put a song on he's worked out she likes so they can dance because remember when he thought a shit song started this lol] Janis: [make an entrance you two god bless so mad your mood about to get ruined lol] Jimmy: [omg can we say Harry is talking to Mia but bins her off for Janis when we need that to happen because funny and even funnier when they end up dating later] Janis: [ahh the levels of hate just going up every second, obvs needs to happen] Jimmy: [have your OTT dance moment first though like cos Mia cannot compete there even if she wanted to] Janis: [can't risk a collapse like] Jimmy: [literally how is she alive] Janis: [when he's probs shamelessly watching this but you don't notice 'cos 'course you don't] Jimmy: [he'd be so mad that this isn't a moment like soz jj are too busy having one] Janis: ['cos you think she's literally followed you here like oh God, hence she's gonna freak when she does actually see you're here like gotta go, maybe hit a bathroom again but drag Jimmy with you] Jimmy: [boy you wish she'd follow you anywhere bye] Jimmy: [meanwhile Jimmy just sitting in a bathtub like ?] Janis: [washing me and my clothes bitch, but seriously, just breathing so shallow like full freak out] Jimmy: [can't not notice so literally but very gently pulling her into the tub with him like sit down] Janis: [reluctantly getting in 'cos you're not ready to walk back through to get out even so may as well, leaning back and sighing like well] Jimmy: [taking off her jacket for her not in a saucy way cos that actually might help her feel better you think] Janis: [just rubbing at your now bare arms and straightening up your posture literally pulling yourself together like] Jimmy: [just giving her time cos not that dickhead who's gonna be like WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU TELL ME RN] Janis: ['I fucked up'] Jimmy: [looking at her like elaborate please, but in your own time cos still not that dickhead] Janis: [a look like I truly do not want to do that please lol 'there's someone here I don't wanna see, like more than all the other people I don't wanna see, like'] Jimmy: [nodding like okay that's all I need to hear, getting up like let's go as if they haven't just got there and peeps won't be like ?? or anything because he's not thinking about the fake just the real of what she just said even though it hasn't clicked with him that this could be anything to do with earlier because why would she not wanna see that person as far as he's concerned and putting a hand out to help her up and out too which he so doesn't need to do we see you boy] Janis: [is shaking her head like no wait then makes a 😒 face at herself 'cos does not wanna be this contrary bitch or this bitch freaking out ever but like, it's happened now so- 'we shouldn't go, I already fucked up earlier, we should make the most of that lot being here' 'cos obviously Mia also made herself #seen 'cos when doesn't she lol] Jimmy: [when you touch her 😒 face unthinkingly and softly which shakes you to your core because get control of yourself boy so you make a big show of checking yourself in the mirror for an age like okay I'm ready] Janis: [when you fuck up his hair 'cos a. just that bitch and b. you're meant to be getting it on in here so don't be looking all put together 'amateur' but with feeling] Jimmy: [returning the favour because 1. oi and 2. her hair would be a MESS if you had and everyone knows that and tying her jacket around his waist so he can carry it for her without having to and it's like that thing when boys wear girls scrunchies on their wrists and girls lose their minds] Janis: [raises a brow like what are you doing at first but then nods like touche, as much as you've just said you should make a show for the flat whites, when Mia is talking to Harry again you gotta be like, let's get another drink first ty, hopefully some of the others are in the kitchen] Jimmy: [when you're about to question it by typing cos would never out loud obvs cos you can clearly see 💀👑 but yeah then there are others in the kitchen so you go with that] Janis: [#dutchcourage, least you can be cute/in everyone's way by getting on the counter and just casually wrapping your long ass legs 'round him to 😍] Jimmy: [just gently kissing all those lovebites you made at party 1 making a big show of how sorry you are for each one like thanks for all the bare skin I can use to put on a show yet again bitch] Janis: [truly out here in a bra lmao the confidence] Jimmy: [we're all jealous as hell that she can and looks amazing doing it, especially the flat whites] Janis: [Asia like he wanted me first though lol] Jimmy: [oh girl you wish] Jimmy: [we should have him come into the kitchen to get drinks for him and Mia which she can't be fuming about even though we all know his real motives] Janis: [ugh the level of smug, knowing looks that just make her wanna die, leaning into Jimmy's ear and cupping her hand like she's whispering something saucy to him but is literally just hiding like go away] Jimmy: [when he whispers back but uses the opportunity to ask her if she's alright because not an idiot] Janis: [nods 'I just missed you too' when you say it loud enough it could be for the benefit of the audience but is it or nah, we'll never know] Jimmy: [when now isn't the time or place to push her on what's actually wrong so you just go harder instead which equally begs the question are you trying to distract her/make her feel better or is it for the audience] Janis: [just do the most 'til he says something or goes away kids, speaking of, kinda torn between him not saying anything because he thinks it'll happen again ('cos like it has been repeats thus far so fair) so he's just kinda like smug but not gonna outright be saying something dead obvious to Jimothy to start shit...or getting him that drunk that he does, 'cos we could do it when they're outside smoking or something so the whole party don't actually hear for once? idk] Jimmy: [I like that idea like he doesn't say anything here and now so she's like thank fuck I might have actually gotten away with this but then later when he's drunk he could be like about to go and wants her to go with him or whatever] Jimmy: [I also like the possibility that he could say something to Mia at any point #mildperil] Janis: [that's a good idea, bide your time, dickhead] Janis: [also we know she's snekky so instead of being like um why do you keep looking at her and being salty she can probably get something out of him, she's smart and he ain't really so] Jimmy: [yeah that's what I thought and she'd love knowing that Janis 'cheated' this early on for JJ so] Janis: [exactly, hence she can nudge Harry into making that post after the basketball match drama] Jimmy: [OMG yeah I never even thought of that] Janis: [masterminding] Jimmy: [ironically Harry getting with Mia cos she doesn't play games which he thinks Janis is rn] Janis: [lmao good luck with that you already being played now and you got no clue] Jimmy: [I almost feel sorry for him but he didn't need to post those nudes so I don't] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [live your best life at this party til later though JJ my babes] Janis: [hells yeah] Jimmy: [it hurts my heart cos they'd both relax thinking shit's okay now and be actually having a good time, fuck you Harold] Janis: [he probably thinks whomever it was has gone, like] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and like not gonna think about it too hard cos her mood has clearly changed and that's the important thing] Janis: [is there anything we wanna do specifically or, how we doing this?] Jimmy: [I think we can probably just skip to when Harry fucks things up because we know the vibe but yeah how do we wanna do that like maybe we can just plot out how it would have gone and see from there cos like she might run away or Jimmy might smack him we don't know lol] Jimmy: [like what do you think he should say/do?] Janis: [Hmm, like you said maybe he comes over and is like okay come back with me though, like enough 'games' now and is ignoring Jimmy so obvs he's like excuse you piss off then when Janis is also like fuck off no so then he's salty and says something when he's walking away like 'tell me how my dick tastes' 'cos he would] Jimmy: [well that's lovely thank you Harry, you're so getting smacked now boy cos his ex was a hoe and he doesn't need to be triggered like that] Janis: [when the worst you were expecting happened and a hoe gotta go] Jimmy: [clearly should try and follow her because how's that gonna look if she leaves without him but doesn't because literally doesn't care about any of that in the moment obvs] Janis: [we're not keeping up the act rn, hopefully there were minimal people about and we can just call Harry a liar later like he's not a trustworthy bitch peeps be known] Jimmy: [yeah I doubt there were many people outside and they'd all be drunk af whoever were and like you said he's not coming through with proof but I hope Janis ain't going to mcvickers gaff cos if Jimothy is going home they'd have to go the same way lol] Janis: [lol imagine, I'll make her run off in a different direction don't worry] Jimmy: [poor bitch she doesn't need the awkward walk of shame] Janis: [she know some places, go work out that aggression again, not that you can but you know] Jimmy: [mhmmm god only knows what Jimothy is gonna do when he gets home cos you can't just casually go to sleep like this is fine] Janis: [I'm like what are you gonna do, what are you gonna say, oh girl] Jimmy: [and how long are you gonna leave it to have the convo too like] Janis: [right, when you wanna do it now to say it, but then you're like, he's not gonna wanna and you're scared too but you don't wanna leave it too long, gay] Janis: [gaaaaaaaaaay 🙄 GAH grammarly GAH ] Jimmy: [he's gonna have to act like he's so not bothered cos it's such early days I'm gonna die] Janis: [okay, I'm gonna say next morning, torture yourself, and inadvertently him, all night] Jimmy: [yassss] Janis: Hey Jimmy: Morning Janis: You alright? Janis: sorry about that idiot last night Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: If you're gonna apologise for every dickhead from last night, do it in a bit, I'm short on time Janis: I won't take on accountability for every cunt, like Janis: just that one Jimmy: Alright Janis: Yeah Janis: you at work? Jimmy: Nah Janis: Oh, alright Janis: well, my bad then Jimmy: I'm in later if you wanna erase your guilt using the tip jar Jimmy: might have another fight in me if it's for 💰💰💰 Janis: Come on Jimmy: what? Janis: Don't take the piss, like Janis: I'm trying to say sorry properly Janis: it was fucking embarrassing Jimmy: he's 💔 give it him Janis: He's an idiot Jimmy: who here ain't? Jimmy: yet to meet 'em, me Janis: Best of luck on that score Jimmy: Tah Janis: I appreciate you punching him regardless Jimmy: it weren't for you Janis: Obviously Janis: still Janis: and he chats shit all the time so, no one will care to remember if they heard anything Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Hopefully they're all too hungover to show their faces in CG today 🤞 Jimmy: 💀👑 don't get hangovers Jimmy: she'd have to swallow Janis: Do spirits have calories 🤔 Janis: oh 👻 Jimmy: give her a bell, you'll have your answer Janis: I'm not feeling that guilty Janis: no need to punish myself like that Jimmy: I get it, you're a fake catholic an' all Jimmy: nowt's real with you Janis: Bit harsh Jimmy: is it? Janis: Yeah Janis: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔🎻💔 Janis: Don't be a dick about it Jimmy: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: I ain't gonna be nice to you, Jill Janis: Alright Janis: well I've said what I need to say so that's that then Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: yeah right Jimmy: [posts something extra like mhmm yeah right] Janis: [as extra a response like this convo isn't even going this badly rn] Jimmy: [being even more extra back like gotta remind her how fake this is and how much you don't care] Janis: [oh lads, just a back and forth] Jimmy: [for ages like is anyone but Mia THIS invested] Janis: [the answer is no[ Jimmy: [but like it's also shade on his part cos it's like him saying we've done this so now I don't have to see you today, job done] Janis: [we know it and she knows it honey] Jimmy: [and we know the flirty undertone that's real af isn't there that usually is, they are so phoning this in rn] Janis: [this is so sad tbh] Jimmy: [what if they run into each other somewhere that they don't expect to idk where but like they can't pretend they haven't seen each other cos other people have seen them but like it's not a party so can't be that OTT] Janis: [where could it be hmm] Jimmy: [like it could be something he's taking either of his siblings to even but then why is Janis there 🤔] Janis: [tis the issue, unless we go for the park, like we always do but it's real, and if we make it a nice day, teens would be hanging to peep 'em] Jimmy: [oh true] Janis: [I can't think of anywhere else they'd both be and other people to see, 'cos I was thinking we could steal when Ellie was doing the family shop 'cos Janis could do it too for something to do but idk if any other teens would really be there to the level you'd be like 'we must go 'round this shop together' maybe when they're more 😍 again though] Jimmy: [yeah unless like someone worked there and clocked them but even then a bit of a flimsy excuse probably] Janis: ['cos I doubt any of the flat whites are working in a supermarket so yeah] Jimmy: [exactly and my other thought was maybe it was the pool or like a sports thing but Janis already did the school trip for extra credit so I doubt she'd have to do anything else] Janis: [unless she is just there working out 'cos said about being underwater and not able to hear shit so good throwback] Jimmy: [OOOH] Janis: [also the levels of awks like oh hi we're all just here in our swimsuits lollll we're mean but it makes sense, especially if there's like a kid's holiday deal or some shit you know the vibe] Jimmy: [I'm just imagining in angus thongs when her tan 😂] Janis: [thank god you ain't that hoe lmao] Jimmy: [if Asia is there though lol she is] Jimmy: [she could totally have a little sister and be there like] Janis: [just swimming like a mum] Jimmy: [sending Mia JJ updates with her waterproof phone cos that bitch don't swim so she ain't gonna be there] Janis: [when you just want the ground to swallow you up and you're just saying and looking like I am SO sorry whenever you can 'cos you can't just leave] Jimmy: [casually regretting giving her all those lovebites last night now cos that's all you can see and it's not helping you pretend to be unbothered haha] Jimmy: [thank god 😒 is his default expression] Janis: [up in this pool like a woman shamed in so many ways lol, at least the kids are there for some distraction] Jimmy: [we know Bobby is a shy clingy lad so that'd take a lot of his focus and save us all from dying even more than we are, Cass just trying to drown him cos she's mad he stayed out for ages last night too probably]] Janis: [and you're a #seriousathlete so you can go do some laps without Asia clocking anything God bless] Jimmy: [I really hope the Cass and Jimmy playfight splashes Asia and she gets her hair wet] Janis: [the least she deserves for enabling this awkward rn] Jimmy: [imagine how annoying her little sister would be, stay away from her Bobert you are too sweet] Janis: [fucking little Europe or some shit Jimmy: [We should do China or America cos both on this list I just found] Janis: [ew hate/love that] Jimmy: [maybe there's two of them oh lord] Janis: [Grace be so jelly] Jimmy: [not making them twins though cos she would die] Janis: [forever triggered lol] Jimmy: [I'm thinking one around Bobby's age and then one older but still younger than Cass like] Janis: [sounds legit to me, should we skip forward or try to do this a bit and see what happens, idm] Jimmy: [at least if there's two of them she'd be busy herself so she can't stalk them as hard, I say why not try and see what happens] Janis: [so obviously we wanna do races, who can hold their breath longest, handstands, whatever other tricks you can do in a pool] Jimmy: [Cass throwing her key on the bottom to swim for it, Jimmy like no bitch cos she always loses em and he'd have to get so many cut without encouraging that behaviour] Janis: [gotta lay down the law with a child just attached to you lol God bless] Jimmy: [how awks because this is so early on so like they know nothing about each other's lives and Cass has probably instantly decided she hates Janis and Bobby is like 👀 deer in headlights] Janis: [we're all dying lol like Asia please leave] Jimmy: [Jimmy like neither of you say anything about our missing maybe dead mum or dickhead father please while trying not to betray how he feels about this fake dating/ Harry situation...so chill] Janis: [the stress good lord] Jimmy: [thank god he does have work later I said so he can use that as excuse to leave sooner than he actually needs] Janis: [Asia probably gon follow] Jimmy: [ugh true so then he has to ask Janis if she wants to come so she can hear because 😍 obvs] Janis: [at least she'll have the sense to make up an excuse 'cos we don't need to prolong this casual torture lol] Jimmy: [and at least he has his sibs there so the 'goodbye' doesn't have to be extra af] Janis: [at least we're buying ourselves more fake dating time here 'cos the awks and anger] Jimmy: [I'm proud of us but I'm sorry lads before he goes you've gotta have hot chocolate like I always did after swimming I don't make the law] Janis: [my boo insists, also the kids obvs, like he doesn't work in a cafe and you could swing by there, no no] Jimmy: [yeah fuck your pretentious latte art bitch] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: the ☕️? Janis: not bad but don't reckon they'll replace you with a 🤖 quite yet Jimmy: 💧 on my apron Janis: no doubt help with the 💸💸 tips Jimmy: they'd be more 😍 for 💦 or ☔ Janis: too nice a day for the latter Jimmy: [shrugs cos it's april so could happen] Janis: shouldn't have dried your hair Janis: very music video Jimmy: [when you're amused but you have to hide it so you get your phone out for selfies like she gave you the idea cos tbh not trying to get put on a register by taking 📷 in the pool] Janis: [🙄 but 😏] Jimmy: [casual selfie sesh and then busying yourself putting them up like] Janis: never off the clock, eh Jimmy: two jobs'll do that Janis: wouldn't know Jimmy: bit rude to rub it in, rich girl Jimmy: this ain't a 🎻 sorta place Janis: just the kinda rich girl I am Jimmy: You're alright, I'll keep the 🔪 in my back out of shot, know enough 📷 angles, me Janis: it's really bad manners to bleed everywhere, you know Jimmy: I know how to clean up after myself,  that'll be the kinda poor boy I am Janis: 🚫🎻 Janis: you said Jimmy: I weren't saying it to 💔 you Jimmy: not my job Janis: just saying, follow your own rules Jimmy: make me 😘 Janis: not really got room to lecture there Jimmy: room for nowt 🦒 Jimmy: 🚫🎻 Janis: don't be short about it Janis: you're almost entirely in the right, you may as well take it Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: almost Jimmy: I've done nowt wrong 😇 me Janis: Nah Janis: you told me to do it Jimmy: convenient that Janis: is it? Janis: doubt that Jimmy: for you Janis: Yeah, clearly Jimmy: dry your eyes, mate Jimmy: were obvs such a good idea at the time Janis: You only set all this bullshit up for failure, not me Jimmy: how did I? Janis: You literally said it was fine Janis: I was the one saying it'd probably fuck it up Janis: I did it and I've tried to make it up but you don't care and you're offering no solutions so fuck it Jimmy: we don't need owt 'cause nobody knows owt and even if he says owt it'll sound like bollocks Jimmy: sort your head out Janis: yeah 'cos it's ideal for you to have to punch out lads all the time Jimmy: might be Jimmy: might make my dad proud of me Jimmy: a scrap might just be a laugh Janis: you want me to say you're welcome then Janis: alright, that's that then Jimmy: want you to carry round a 🪥 next time you fancy cracking on with dickheads like that Jimmy: but alright Janis: cheers Janis: you give great advice Jimmy: might do, if we were mates Janis: well we obviously aren't Jimmy: 😮😮😮 Janis: whatever Janis: [making these awkward goodbyes] Jimmy: [when you don't want her to go even though this is awful] Janis: [when you cannot take any more though] Jimmy: [pulling her back like he wanted to last night but couldn't cos he can pretend it's so fake lol lol lol] Janis: [when you're like 'what?' all light and jokey for the fake but then you look at him like actually though] Jimmy: [boy quick tell your face, Daniel will be livid, that you're giving yourself away like this] Janis: [just in a stare-off rn] Jimmy: [leaning in like he's gonna kiss her but obvs can't cos too real rn so he's like 'stop being a dickhead' in a whisper like that's what he was gonna do all along] Janis: [when you're actually like stunned lmao 'great advice as always, Taylor' under your breath and then a faker 'see you later' moment for the rest] Jimmy: [😏 because annoying her is easier and safer as is blowing her a kiss like bye babe] Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you're so irritating Janis: please don't need me for another 3-5 working days yeah Jimmy: I gave you an out, girl Jimmy: It ain't my fault that lad's 🏆 an' all Janis: I knew he was a dickhead before I did it Janis: not 💔 Jimmy: massively your type every 3-5 working days Janis: you reckon, do you Jimmy: you just said Janis: I didn't Janis: I said I knew he was one, not that I was about it Jimmy: if you weren't about it you wouldn't have done it Jimmy: unless you're not about this, and if that's it, take your out Janis: 'cos those are the only two possibilities Janis: I'm 😍 or sick of this and ain't got the balls to say it Janis: well it's neither, tah Jimmy: I never said you were 😍 Janis: alright, my type, whatever, it's the same thing Jimmy: if you wanna get with lads then you obvs ain't gay so we don't need to do this anymore, that's what I'm saying Jimmy: he'd have been happy enough to brag about how straight you are Jimmy: next time take a 📷 and you're 👍 Janis: you really think that thought had never occurred to me prior to this? Janis: if I wanted that, I would've done it ages ago Janis: not my first time, whatever popular opinion dictates Jimmy: weren't gonna chuck you a penny for 'em, my dear Jimmy: If I wanted to wait around at some shit party while another lad sorts out the lass I'm with, I'd have my ex back Jimmy: not my first time at that Janis: all you had to do was say no Janis: not even, just agree with what I was saying Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: tell yourself no, I'm not your fucking conscience Janis: conscience has got nothing to do with it Janis: obviously it'd be wrong if we were actually together Janis: but it's fake so it's just a matter of logistics and if you say you don't care then that's what I'm going on Jimmy: I've got nowt to do with it Janis: Jesus, yes you do, this is a deal between me and you Jimmy: that you were acting put upon about all night so yeah it were fine, to get you to stop marding for 5 seconds Janis: so now it's your turn? Janis: that's a mature way to deal with shit Jimmy: I'd have legged it but you beat me to that, Janet Janis: 'cos you were well in a talking mood Jimmy: I took that hint from you ages before, that'll be why Janis: I tried Janis: this is some bullshit Janis: I tried before, and after, and both times it was all good except it clearly fucking ain't Jimmy: how about you try not to put me in the path of lads you wanna fuck? or have or will do Janis: It weren't even Janis: fine Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: It weren't even what, that you couldn't have called me after you were done? Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: No Janis: I didn't think of it from that perspective, alright, that's fair Janis: this shit is a headfuck Janis: it's not like there are rules, that I've done this loads, enough to navigate it perfectly Jimmy: the only rule is that we don't mess each other about Jimmy: helping each other out is the whole point Janis: Yeah Janis: I seriously didn't think it would, believe that or not Janis: he hasn't bragged about it before but lesson learned Jimmy: I weren't here to mug off before Janis: No Janis: well, like we said, no one's gonna listen to him so as far as damage control goes Jimmy: I heard you the first hundred times you told me that Jimmy: there's no damage control for all the 🕧 waiting around for you in different parts of that massive house Janis: then tell me what I can do Jimmy: if we ain't gonna be in the same room for longer than 10 mins don't bother to invite me Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Janis: I'm not going to do that again, not that you asked but Jimmy: He'd have you back, I never hit him that hard Janis: shut up Jimmy: Alright don't, you can do better Janis: we can all see what he is Jimmy: I weren't giving him 😍 soz to piss on that threesome you had your 🤞 for Janis: 🤢 Janis: stop Jimmy: you can give it all that after you let me be all over you when you were all over that dickhead? Top one Jimmy: if any dickhead's 🤢🤢 it's me Janis: it were complicated Janis: yeah, we should've left Janis: I just Jimmy: weren't trying to have a chat then were you? Jimmy: not a word Janis: so that was selfish Janis: never said I weren't Jimmy: just Janis: I'm sorry Janis: I should've gone when you offered Janis: I wanted the night to be worth it somehow though Jimmy: What does that mean? Janis: Like you said, we'd barely been in the same room so Janis: would've been a wasted night if we left then Jimmy: I'd take a wasted night night over a weird one Janis: Yeah Janis: it made sense at the time Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't emoji at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I dunno but I was close to absolving some guilt Janis: bit rude Jimmy: save it for confession, babe Jimmy: I'm in black but that's where the similarity ends Janis: I've never been Jimmy: first time's the charm, Nah? Or is that the third? Jimmy: I dunno 😴 Janis: Cheers Janis: I really have to ask for eternal forgiveness before you're gonna bother Jimmy: If you were my real girlfriend, ain't getting The Lord involved for owt less Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: sorry your ex was a bitch too Jimmy: leave it out Janis: just saying Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: it ain't your problem and she ain't been mine for ages either Janis: okay Janis: still Janis: shit Jimmy: shut up Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: Doubt that Janis: Oh now I talk too much Janis: convenient Jimmy: yeah well chatty, you Jimmy: never know when to stop Janis: yeah well Janis: one of us has to keep the conversation going Jimmy: so #goals girl Janis: Obviously Janis: I feel like my fucking sister right about now Jimmy: Has she been with him an' all? Jimmy: taking the #twinning a bit far there, mate Janis: I hope not Janis: I dunno why you'd make me think of that Janis: I just meant general slagginess and regret Jimmy: I reckon you'd know, hardly the type to keep that to himself Jimmy: Why do you regret it? You said you knew he were a massive twat Janis: I don't know Janis: 'cos he's made me look stupid Jimmy: Only in front of me and I knew you were an idiot 😏 Janis: Thanks Janis: very supportive Jimmy: Do you want me to belt him again? Janis: Only if you feel like it Janis: but it ain't really about him Jimmy: not what I asked, 'cause nah, it ain't about him Janis: No Janis: If you never have to think about him again, that's best for me Jimmy: That all I can do you for, Jules? Jimmy: you don't fancy an overpriced latte or owt, I get that Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: Am I that demanding? Jimmy: Do you want a fake answer there or what? Janis: Cheek Janis: and after you dared to offer me a latte as well Jimmy: I never Janis: Hmm Janis: likely story Jimmy: what's tonight's? Jimmy: we in or out? Janis: I reckon we've done enough to earn a night off Jimmy: Alright Janis: don't you Jimmy: I asked you Janis: Yeah, and I asked you back Jimmy: and I said alright Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Try not to kill yourself at work today Jimmy: And be stuck haunting the CG, you're alright Janis: and you ain't allowed without me Janis: more importantly Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: You're the only one I wanna haunt, baby Janis: Yeah, I better be Jimmy: You are Jimmy: 💔 as Asia is about it Janis: she's lucky I didn't drown her Jimmy: If you really loved me, you would Janis: always coming out with this after the fact, aren't you Jimmy: What's more #goals than murdering a love rival? Jimmy: if you dunno that, Jasmine, I dunno what we're even doing here Janis: Rival is a stretch Janis: if you reckon that then you only gotta ask her Jimmy: Calm it down, bighead Jimmy: The DM asking her to attach ankle weights in the deep end has already been sent Janis: gonna be 😭 over her cankles forever now Jimmy: I were 😭😭😭 first Janis: you mean you didn't just have chlorine in your eyes? Janis: awkward Jimmy: it were already awkward Jimmy: leave my 👀 out of it, tah Janis: but they're so dreamy Jimmy: Send tweet Janis: 😏 Janis: working overtime for you, boy Jimmy: I asked you what you wanted, you never answered, girl Janis: I don't know the menu Jimmy: I have to do everything, I see how it is Janis: You wanted demanding, babe Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Stop flirting with me for 1 second so I can make you a drink! Janis: Bet that's what you say to all the customers Jimmy: Depends Janis: if you like it or nah, sure Jimmy: Nah, what I like is nowt to do with it Janis: Tips? Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's kinda fucked, you stop and think about it Jimmy: I don't get long enough breaks to stop and think Janis: Poor baby Janis: I've got all the time in the world to ponder for you Jimmy: just keep rubbing it in, you Janis: 😂 Janis: you know you'd hate it if I weren't a rich girl Jimmy: You ain't paying me nowt last I checked Janis: you'd have nothing to take the piss out of me for if I weren't Janis: worth it's weight in gold, surely Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Bollocks would I not Janis: Bollocks would you Janis: I'm 🥇 Jimmy: You're 🥈 Janis: Psh, fuck you Jimmy: And you're only that 'cause my 🥇 makes you look good Janis: Oh please Janis: you must've bumped your head 'cos you sound downright delusional now Jimmy: Beg all you like you ain't having the 🏆 til you pry it out of my 💀💀💀 hands Janis: Me? Beg? You? Janis: now you're hearing things Jimmy: I can barely read and I still saw that please, girl Jimmy: Felt it an' all Janis: shut up Janis: I was asking the LORD to give you some sense, that's all Jimmy: Convenient that Jimmy: Getting him involved again Janis: I'm a good friend and a good Christian 😇 Jimmy: You ain't either, unless you were chatting shit earlier Janis: Who knows Jimmy: He gonna deliver this drink to you on a ☁ or what? Janis: If only Janis: not a service you provide either, I suppose? Jimmy: I could do Janis: Impressive Janis: if dubious Jimmy: Depends where you want it Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: I'll come get it, not that much of an arsehole, usually Jimmy: You're still not having 🥇 Janis: not even if I say please AND thank you? Jimmy: Go on Jimmy: I'll see how I feel Janis: 🔮 so mysterious Jimmy: Old news that Jimmy: And not what I'm waiting to hear off you Janis: You'll be old news, soon 🤞 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: that's the whole point, yeah Janis: or do I accuse you of being closeted too Jimmy: can do Janis: I'm bigger and better than that 🥇😇 Jimmy: 👏 Janis: you thought I was gay too then Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: Nowt to tell Jimmy: I don't know you Janis: Neither does anyone else who's reached the conclusion Janis: it's not personal Jimmy: Alright, I don't think about you as much as they do Janis: 🙄 Janis: they don't think that much period Janis: but my sexual history ain't playground knowledge so obviously Jimmy: Who started it? Janis: I dunno Janis: you know how it is, only one person needs to say it once Janis: pack mentality bullshit Jimmy: It'll be a lad you didn't wanna get with or a lass who's fuming you're fitter than her Janis: That don't narrow it down Janis: bighead, remember Jimmy: 😏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: is it? Janis: I mean, Bill said it best Janis: telling everyone I ain't wouldn't do shit but make it seem like I was Janis: why else would I have agreed to this Jimmy: 'Cause I'm so fit and mysterious obvs Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm not Asia Jimmy: I know 😭💔 Janis: Could've asked, dickhead Jimmy: She has a BOYFRIEND, Jenna Janis: She wants a NEW ONE Jimmy: duh Janis: ask her then Janis: she'll have so many good ideas Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Fucking hell, I'd sooner put up with your bad ones Janis: Gee, thanks for the reminder Jimmy: 😘 Janis: no one is there, right Janis: like, no one who's gonna want a show Jimmy: What do you think? Janis: hold on then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🖐 Jimmy: 👀 Janis: how do you live like this Jimmy: What? Janis: having to be around them, even in the holidays Janis: without going postal Jimmy: I ain't got a choice Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: I know, still doesn't mean I get how you do it Jimmy: What's to get? It's a job, even rich girls know how they work Janis: Never mind Jimmy: No, go on Janis: Nah Jimmy: We're back to 🙀 are we? Janis: Nah, we're back to there's no point 'cos you always act like you're so superior when that's not even what I'm saying Janis: so forget it Jimmy: The point is that I serve dickheads all day Jimmy: Mia wishes she could take the 👑 Janis: And you can never just say that Jimmy: They're the centre of your 🌎 not mine Janis: Keep the drink Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: Neither do I Janis: another customer to complain about Jimmy: You can have that 🥇 at least Jimmy: well done Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Later Jimmy: Yeah