#ultralean

[rj-drive-in]

E-I GMO Department:

The legalities are left as an exercise for the student.

JACK AND THE BEANSTALKS © 2024 by Rick Hutchins

“Does it have cancer?” asked his mother warily. It was the strangest damn cow she had ever seen.

“No, no, it’s perfectly healthy,” said Jack. “Although I did incorporate segments of DNA sequences from cancer cells to promote rapid growth.”

She leaned forward slightly; she wanted to get a better look at the beast, but hesitated to get too close. It gazed back at her placidly, chewing its cud. Jack took her by the arm and gently led her closer.

“It’s not going to bite you,” he chuckled.

Standing in the middle of the pasture, grazing peacefully, the cow was a mostly ordinary Hereford heifer, except for the rows of bulbous growths along its sides. Each growth was the approximate size and shape of an apple, and was connected to the animal by a thin tube of flesh a couple of inches long. There were two rows of six on each side.

“Here, check it out,” he said.

He plucked one of the bulbs off the side of the heifer and tossed it to his mother; she caught it reflexively.

“Ewww!” she cried, throwing it away. “That’s gross!”

Jack laughed as he recovered the fleshy lump from the tall grass. “It’s not gross,” he said. “It’s meat. Grade A-Plus, ultralean, prime American beef, to be exact.”

“It’s edible?”

“That’s the whole point. One of these bulbs, when picked, will grow back in just about eight hours. Old Bossy here will produce the same amount of beef in one week as a typical slaughtered cow. Using these animals, farms will be able to produce many times the meat at a fraction of the cost.”

“It seems kind of cruel.”

“As cruel as killing them?” asked Jack. “Here, watch this.” He plucked off another bulb with a quick tug and the cow lowed softly, turning her head to look at him. “I wired the nerve endings in the bulb to the pleasure center of the brain. Breaking the connection produces a low-level erotic surge, kind of like nipple tweaking.”

She gave him a dirty look.

He shrugged. “Well, the animal rights groups will have nothing to complain about.”

“But how long does it take to breed cows like this?”

“They don’t have to be bred. The changes were written to their existing genetic code by a virus I engineered and released into the environment. Within two years, every bovine on the planet will have the necessary chromosomal alterations.”

“You did what?!”

“It’s perfectly safe. I programmed in telomeric obsolescence. The virus will be extinct in three years.”

“But how will we profit from this if you gave it away?”

Jack waved his hand toward the North forty, where row upon row of green bean vines grew on poles. “The new gene sequences are encrypted and can only be unlocked with a proprietary enzyme that is found exclusively in those genetically engineered green beans, which I hold the patent to.”

“You mean..?”

Jack nodded. “I gave away the cow,” he said, “but the magic beans will make us billionaires.”

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[pedallingthroughlife]

2020 First Entry

Intro:

Here is my blog entry for 2020! It has gone fast with my season starting next Saturday. In terms of training, I have been quite lucky with getting my fitness back up to where it was. Up until a few weeks ago, the weather has been fairly bearable with relatively good weather, ie the relentless storms of the UK were not raging on and we had to result to Zwift. Regarding illness I have suffered a little, I had some much needed time off over the Christmas period where I did not touch a bike for a month, this was due to being away in New Zealand back home with my mum and partner, when I got back I had to start base building again, I struggled at the start but it came back really quickly, I'm not really sure why this is, I guess it's because I have improved my nutrition, actually thought about the amount of sleep I need and taking time to recover from training sessions.  This year I am also super happy that I will not only be riding for Gorilla Coffee but also be representing The Fry Group Unfound Racing who are a race team based out of Asia which is something im passionate about supporting and what the team and unfound.cc stand for.

Getting Back Into It:

As I mentioned I had some time off, when I came back it started to struggle, id essentially detrained but its something I needed to do after 2019 as it was a tough year. I feel rejuvenated and I've got a structured training plan in place with an awesome coach. not to mention I need to drop 7kg to get back to race weight because I repeatedly ate too many pies whilst in New Zealand. Im happy to say I am now back at the weight I want to be and my stamina has improved massively. 

Nutrition: 

I had to take a deep look at to how I was eating and I’ve managed to switch things up a bit, I wasn't getting enough Iron or was low in other vitamins that my body needed to cope with to recover and also maintain my lifestyle choice. I've cut dairy out on the Milk side and swapped to oat milk and although it's not for everyone, I myself really like it. I've also just moved from USN Ultralean to Strong Supplies Supplements, one reason is they are tailored for athletes, you ask questions about what sport you do, when you train, the levels you train and what you would like to improve on, ie; Joint pain, recuperation, mental health or inflammation. They also give you a call. So far so good and I get both pills(natural vitamins) and shakes, this has helped me see a big improvement in my overall mood too. 

What's Next:

My season starts next Saturday the 7th with Milton Keynes Spring series Round 1 - JCA-Equipe Velo, I am also racing every week in March, with some big races on the table later in the year. I will be heading to Mallorca at the start of May for a week to get some serious training in and ready for summer. 

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