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pearlzier · 2 months ago

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────⠀ ⠀FRESH LOVIN' w/ CHRIS.

NOTES .ᐣ ana writing chris ????? its a literal miracle..... yeah hes been lookin a little too good lately... also ive been thinking of this for weeks now so uhh yeah !

WARNINGS .ᐣ p in v. uhhh dirty talk. afab!reader. no protection 🙀. im not great at writing chris i dont think... better at writin matt but i tried.

IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN AS AROUSING AS IT WAS to see you wearing his merch. chris gives you the pieces you like for free anyway, you're his girlfriend—half of the time you help with the designing process anyway. so he's used to seeing you in.. well, his brand. the sight of 'fresh love' written across your chest is nice, he likes it a lot, but he's used to seeing it when you're with him. you'd told him plenty of times that the hoodies and shirts are super comfortable, so you wore them often.

so that is exactly why he was so confused as to why the sight of you modelling his merch made his dick as hard as it did. it wasn't.. that different. was it? he doesn't get it. maybe it's the professionalism of the photos, or just how official it all is. that's his girlfriend wearing his brand. no one else's—just his. a funny feeling fizzes in his abdomen, a warm feeling flooding his chest. both of those things at the instance he sees your pretty body wearing something he created.

his baby wearing his baby—that kind of thing. its corny, sure, but still. it made his head all murky and fuzzy, and his jeans tighten around him so uncomfortably it was impossible to ignore it. being at the photoshoot was a fucking nightmare, let alone seeing the photos all over instagram. people loved the photos, of course they did, you looked really good in them, and yeah, he loved them a lot too. which was why it was agony going on any social to find the exact thing that gives him a raging hard-on.

it was merely a coincidence that you'd walked in wearing merely a fresh love shirt and not much else. he lets out a low groan at the sight of you, his tongue darting out to wet his bottom lip for a moment with his eyes raking up and down your figure. matt and nick weren't in, the entire reason you were wearing so little, so.. it wouldn't be completely wrong of him to have you bent over the couch due to your little get up, right? he's hoping so, since that's the only thing clouding his brain right now.

"actin' like you're not just as bad as me," he mutters, scoffing in return as you'd done previously. "actin' like your panties ain't soaked."

"you're starin'," he glances up at your words, his blue eyes wide and surprised for a moment before a smirk flits at his plush lips. yeah, of course he's staring. your nipples are hard beneath the cotton of the shirt, poking out a little and drawing his attention directly to them. soon, his eyes drop down to the curve of your ass beneath your underwear. slowly, he slides his hand down to adjust himself over his sweats with a quiet grunt.

"can you blame a guy?" chris murmurs, biting his tongue for a minute before he looks you up and down. "bein' such a fuckin' tease walkin' 'round like that," you scoff at his words, a soft smile playing on your own lips. a tilt of your head, and you're looking him up and down too. he looks good, he always does, but he does look really good. folding your arms beneath your chest, you lean against the kitchen island. "we both know you're soaked, baby." his words are practically a growl.

"you ain't got any proof," you grumble, feeling a surge of heat pool between your legs despite your own words. he wasn't wrong, you know, and he knows that too. all you wanted was to make something to eat, albeit wearing the least amount of clothing possible, but sure.

his smirk widens, "no? do you want me to check?" he knows you're wet, he can see it. from the way your thighs press together and how you're a little stiff whilst wandering around. all tell tale signs that you're just as horny as he is. "you're drippin', baby. don't even try to pretend with me," chris is quiet for a moment, before he pushes up off of the couch slowly. his eyes rake over your frame, and it only makes you feel more flustered in a way.

"don't gotta check 'cause i ain't wet," you mumble immediately, your skin warming up. you're lying through your teeth right now, and chris knows it. he knows you better than literally anyone, even if you don't want to admit it. trying to focus your mind on anything other than well, that, you turn away to open up the fridge and get something to eat. chris is making his way over, eventually standing in the doorway with his arms folded across his chest.

chris chuckles quietly, a low and rich sound. wandering a little closer to you, he stops right behind you with a click of his tongue. you shiver almost immediately when his hand slides over your side, skimming towards the swell of your chest. "liar," he murmurs, letting his nose trail along the skin of your neck lazily as he draws you a little closer to him. "you're always drenched for me, just as much of a mess as i am."

your eyes flutter over to him for a second before you swallow hard, "ain't a liar," you insist, head tilting to the side a little bit at the feel of his head by the crook of your neck. but back to the food, you tried to will yourself, as you bent over to grab a cutting board from a lower drawer. "yeah, can feel you pokin' my thigh with that ragin' hard-on of yours." chris scoffs at that, corners of his lips flitting up at the corners in a lazy smirk.

"s'not exactly a trade secret, is it?" chris mumbles with soft amusement, leaving gentle, warm kisses over the skin of your neck. his hands roaming gently over you doesn't stop him from pulling you back into him. he presses up against you as you're bent over, slowly rocking his hips up against you with a small, strained noise escaping him.

"you feel what you do to me, princess?" was pretty hard not to.

a soft gasp followed by a soft moan escapes you, "chris—" and you grasp at the drawer to keep yourself steady. a shaky breath slips past your lips and you feel it soon hitch in your throat. "don't," in the kitchen? matt and nick could walk in at any moment, you knew, but chris seemed like he didn't care at all, actually.

"don't what, baby?" he coos, taking a breath as he slowly alides his hands down to your hips. at the same time, his own hips grind enticingly into your ass, his aching erection pushing up against you. he needed you so bad. there, in the middle of the kitchen, he shamelessly grinds up against you. "don't what? don't touch you, don't make you feel good, don't love you?"

you let out this pretty moan, folding your arms beneath you to lean up against the counter. "no, no, no—mmh," you wanted him to keep going, you knew he'd make you feel good, he always did. made it his mission, actually. chris grind at your words, head tilting to the side a little bit now. "keep goin', please," well, you don't have to ask him twice, he'd do anything you asked of him.

"mhm.." chris hums quietly, considering whether he should take off the shirt so he can get his hands all over you before he decides not to. the shirt's the appeal, seeing you wearing something he made. fucking you in something he made. "keepin' this on," he adds, letting you know what was going on in his head.

as much as he'd usually keep you waiting, he was far too pent up to do so now. he lets go of your hips momentarily, his free hand moving to his sweats already hanging low on his hips to push them down a little bit to free his cock. a groan escapes him at being exposed, and he shuts his eyes for a minute when he wraps his hand around at the base and gives himself a languid stroke. he could get off right here at the sight of your ass clad in pretty panties pushed up against him like that, but the warmth of your cunt was a safety he couldn't deny.

"probably soaked all the way through these panties of yours, huh?" at the sound you let out, he smiles a little more, his hand slipping inside your panties almost immediately to test his theory. his fingers slowly start to brush against your clit, feeling how slick you are from just his words alone. "told you," you're sopping wet, and he loves it. his head tilts to the side a little, and he applies a little more pressure before gliding his fingers through your slick folds. biting his bottom lip at your sounds, he groans.

"chris, shit," you mewl softly, hips slowly bucking up towards his fingers as he pushed them up against you. he lets his thumb brush against your entrance, gliding over it easily before he glances back over at you. "that's it, let me feel you," for a few long moments, he makes tight circles over your bundle of nerves before his impatience gets the best of him. "feels so good—"

"i know, mmh, gotta feel you, baby," he tells you, tugging down your panties in a swift movement. you gasp quietly at the cold air hitting against your warm folds, and secondly at the feel of his cock pushing against your entrance. he's gentle, always is, his free hand moving to hold you steady at your hip. "you alright?"

you swallow hard, trying to figure out a way to say it without sounding desperate as all hell. "uh, yeah, yeah," you nod, shifting your hips back against him to feel him properly. a laugh escapes chris, and he hums, slowly easing himself inside you with a little buck of his hips. his hand moves to join his other one at your hips and he groans gutterly, eyes squeezing shut. "so fuckin' tight, baby."

"holy shit," you're clenching on him like a damn vice already, a moan escaping you as well in a similar fashion to chris'. he takes his time with it, lifting his hand from your hip to place it on the kitchen counter and grasp at it to keep him steady. he soon enough buries inside you to the hilt, hands roaming over your hips and ass, occasionally squeezing as he looks you up and down.

"such a dirty little thing, aren't you?" slowly, he shifts his hips back so just his throbbing tip is inside you, before he snaps his hips forward again so he's back to where he was moments prior. the sounds you let out practically have him coming right there, but he's got enough restraint to hold on for maybe a few minutes more. "lettin' me fuck you in the kitchen against the counter, knowin' anyone could walk in."

his words barely register to you with how he thrusts in and out of you, practically molding your insides to fit him, taking him so good like you do every damn time. "chris, mmh—! feels so.. ah, shit—!" your tits bounce beneath the fresh love shirt, drawing his eyes there almost immediately. he moves his free hand to cup your chest, thumbs circling over your hardened nipples and pinching momentarily.

"can't even think straight, can you? too busy thinkin' 'bout my cock, mmh.. i know it feels good, baby, feels right," chris keeps up the pace of his thrusts, practically pounding you up against the counter. "feels so, fuckin', good," he punctuates each of his words with a sharp buck of his hips, but making sure that you didn't hurt yourself in any way and holding you up.

"can't.. think straight," you agree breathily, practically panting with every push of his hips and feel of your pussy tightening around him. you shut your eyes, lashes fluttering as you practically squeal around him. "can't think straight, that's right. just focused on makin' a mess on my cock," and making a mess you were, feeling that burst of pleasure as he brought you over the edge.

soon, he got there too, the movements of his hips stuttering as he let out out a low sound, finally coming to a stop once he'd stuffed you full of his cum. "did so good for me," he murmurs. eyes darting up to yours when he managed to coax your eyes open with his hand. "did perfect.."

"yeah?" you ask, voice all airy and breathless. you feel so warm and fuzzy, a bliss washing over you. with a soft sound, you relax against the counter with his help and the feel of him easing out of you. his eyes dart down to his release leaking out of your hole, and he hums quietly, letting his hand trail back down and circle his thumb around the mess he'd made for a moment.

"and i thought you were hungry, baby."

ִ ֹ ★ @mattybsgroupie, @dayzeandhaze, @mattslolita, @stellasturns, @stevelacylovebot, @55sturn, @jetaimevous, @phone4pills, @aesthetixhoe, @venusiers, @chrissdollie, @stvrnmc, @sarosfilms, @beetlejenna, @funkycoloured, @v3nusasagrl, @imwetforyourmom, @deansbite, @beridollie, @pr3ttyf4wn, @sincerebabydoll, @pillwebb, @cayleeuhithinknot, @j2ss7, @sweetrelieef, @l3sbiancvnt, @fallbhind, @beausling ִ ꒱

#𐙚˙ ana writes ⋆.˚#chris sturniolo smut #chris sturniolo x you #chris sturniolo x reader #chris sturniolo #matt sturniolo smut #matt sturniolo x you #matt sturniolo x reader #matt sturniolo

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here2bbtstrash · 2 years ago

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sunday (explicit)

genre: straight-up smut baybey, i did it y'all i wrote a pwp again

pairing: seokjin x reader

summary: you got your boyfriend exactly what he wanted for his birthday.

word count: 5k

contains: explicit sexual content~*~ say it with me: BRAT 👏 TAMER 👏 SEOKJIN 👏 established relationship, reader is uhhh 😬 Extremely bratty lmao, jin takes care of that, BDSM dynamics (mention of safewords and hand signals but neither are used!), reader gets spanked with a belt oop 🤭, fingering/a lil bit of eating it from the back, orgasm denial, big dick jin 😏, praise kink, mouth/throat fucking, a bit of breathplay, begging and apologizing, oh yeah she cries... like.... kind of a lot 🥲 there's a dacryphilia moment in there too (~*~add a little spice~*~), unprotected sex but they're in love it's fine, lots of subspace at the end, use of a vibrator, overstimulation, she comes.... idek how many times, and a smidge of aftercare 🫠 also i promise there's no food play, you'll get why the cake's there at the end ok lmao

A/N: a day late and a dollar short but hey that's my mental health rn 🫡 this was fun!!! always nice to dust off the ol' pwp muscles and frankly i've been itching to write proper BDSM for a bit now. sometimes you just wanna get the shit beat out of you lovingly and that's valid and sexy ya know. anyway feel free to silently skip this one if it's not for you!! and i know i'm gonna get a comment on it so 🙄 i used his korean age on purpose lmao 🙄 yes i can count and yes i know their system is changing~ ANYWAY i sincerely hope you enjoy babes and that you all had a lovely seokjin day 🥺 i loooove y'all !!! 💜

thank you to @haliiimede for beta reading and being my soulmate 🥺

read on AO3!

~*~

The slam of the front door tells you that your plan for today has worked perfectly.

Standing in front of the full length mirror in your bedroom, you adjust a final strap on your bralette, then quickly scramble to pull your clothes back on. You attempt to keep your expression innocent as you slip down the hallway to greet your boyfriend.

Before you can even make it, you hear the unmistakable pop of a wine bottle being uncorked, and you enter the kitchen just in time to see Seokjin leaning up against the counter with a glass of white in hand. He doesn’t look particularly pleased to see you.

“Hi baby,” you say, sweet as can be. “Can I have a glass?”

A muscle works in his jaw as he looks you over, and the expression on his face already has a flame licking in the pit of your stomach.

“That's all you have to say?” he finally answers.

You blink up at him, feigning ignorance. Your heartbeat has started to race behind your ribs, sensing imminent danger— the good kind.

“I haven't heard from you all day today,” he tries again.

You shrug. “I was still sleeping when you left this morning, and then, I don't know. I was doing things. Does it matter?” If Seokjin wasn’t already pissed, you know your last question will get him. You turn away to busy yourself with retrieving a wine glass so he can’t see the smile you’re trying to bite back.

The tone of his voice makes you freeze, glass in hand. “I don't recall saying you could have any.”

Your lower lip juts out automatically, and you do your best to steady your breathing without making it apparent. Even your voice comes out a little shaky. “But we always share.”

The silence in the kitchen feels deafening, punctuated by the soft tap of Seokjin setting his glass on the counter. You mirror him, swallowing hard as he steps in to close the distance between you. It never gets any less exciting to have him tower over you, big and broad-shouldered, tall enough that you have to look up through your lashes to meet his gaze. A dull ache starts to pulse between your legs.

“Do you know what today is?”

You lick your lips and try to speak. “Sunday?”

It’s like you barely get the word out before he’s gripping your jaw with one large hand, and you can feel your heartbeat in your throat. Anticipation buzzes through your body, all the way down to your toes, as he forces your chin up.

“Anything else?” His voice sounds like a warning.

Your mouth pulls into a grin beneath his grasp, one you can’t quite manage to keep innocent. “Oh, Seokjin, is it your birthday? I knew I was forgetting something. Oops.”

“Fucking brat.”

All at once Seokjin locks an arm around your hips, and you let out a shrill squeak as your feet leave the floor entirely when he outright slings you over his shoulder. This is, of course, exactly what you’d hoped for, but you struggle a little in his grip nonetheless. All part of the fun.

You’d left the bedroom door cracked on your way out to greet him, and he takes the opportunity to kick it back open. A shiver runs up your spine at the sight, and then you hit the bed hard enough to knock the breath out of your lungs.

You push up onto your hands as you sit up, slightly dizzy.

“That hurt, Seokjin,” you whine, but you both know you don’t mean it. You have agreed-upon methods of telling him when he’s really hurting you in a way that doesn’t feel good: safewords, even hand signals for when you’re rendered non-verbal. Anything said that isn’t one of those is just you running your mouth on purpose, winding him up. Like now. “You’re being so dramatic.”

“And you’ve got a fucking attitude today,” he snaps. “Is this really how you want to do this? On my fucking birthday?”

You blink up at him with the same sweet smile. “What if I told you I got you a present?”

This seems to surprise him a little, and he pauses, like he doesn’t quite buy it. “A present, huh?”

“Mm-hmm.” You nod as you get to your feet. “Let me unwrap it for you.”

Taking your time with it, you peel off your sweatshirt and leggings to reveal the lingerie you pulled on as he was coming home. It’s a soft pink set with a floral design, thin straps, and romantic lace, and you happen to think it does wonders for your curves.

“What do you think?”

You can see the hungry gleam in Seokjin's eyes even as he scoffs, feigning disinterest. “Oh, this is my present? A disrespectful brat that I have to teach a lesson? I should rip this shit off.”

“Hey, this was expensive!” you snap, and he arches an eyebrow as if to give you a final chance to behave. It just makes you want to push him that much further.

You step closer, allowing a perfect line of sight to your tits that threaten to spill out of their confinements, and you soften your voice when you speak again. “What, you don’t forgive me, Seokjin?”

The corner of his mouth just barely ticks up. “You know the rules. Forgiveness is earned.”

He reaches a hand down to undo the buckle of his belt, and your nipples are suddenly painfully hard against the lace fabric. You can’t remember the last time he used his belt. Fuck, he’s really mad.

“Bend over.”

You huff a sigh as you drape yourself over the edge of the bed, and his hands are already on your ass. He makes a low noise of appreciation as his fingertips dig into your supple skin, pressing firm enough to make you wince. He's not being gentle, and you don’t want him to be.

Your eyes flutter closed in enjoyment of being manhandled like this, and you get so lost in it that it takes you a second to realize Seokjin has asked you a question. By then it’s already too late.

He gives a warning slap to your ass as he repeats himself. “I said, how old am I?”

You peek over your shoulder, wiggling your ass against the flat of his palm, only for him to smack you hard over your left cheek. You bite back a whimper, not wanting to give him the satisfaction.

“I don't know,” you lie, blinking up at him. “You’re so old now, it’s hard to remember.”

In one swift move, he yanks his belt out from around his waist, and you swallow hard as you watch him fold it over in his hands.

“Then why don’t you fucking count for me.”

The belt cracks down over your ass, and you flinch at the first real rush of pain. It takes you a second to regain focus, your brain still buzzing from the hit, and then his words come back to you.

“One.”

“So you are capable of listening, huh?”

Another hit, equally as hard on the other side, and you grit your teeth.

“Two.”

“Aw, where’d that smart mouth go? Not so chatty now?” Seokjin cracks the belt again, and you can barely get the word three out before four is being delivered just as harshly. You squeeze your eyes shut and try to breathe. He's really hitting hard tonight.

“Four,” you gasp, and you hear Seokjin exhale a dark laugh above you.

“Better toughen up, sweetheart. We’ve got a long way to go.” Another hit in the same spot, this one enough to really sting.

“Five.”

“You know, since I'm so old.”

The next blow he delivers is so hard, the word comes out as a cry of pain. “Six!”

You flatten your pelvis down against the sheets, as if in an attempt to hide from the beating, but there’s nowhere to go. The extra pressure makes you feel how hard your clit has started to throb from your punishment. You bury your face in the crook of your elbow, your hips jerking reflexively as you moan through seven, eight, nine.

Every muscle in your body seizes taut as you prepare for ten, trying to encourage yourself to breathe through it, though all you can get out right now are shallow gasps for air. I can take this, you tell yourself, I can take this.

But it doesn’t come. You’re pulled so tight you think you might snap, and you manage to lift your head up from your arms to look back at Seokjin.

“There she is,” he says, and the soft tone of his voice in no way influences how hard he brings the belt down over your ass.

“Ten!” you groan, and the sharp bite of pain over your already raw skin nearly brings tears to your eyes. And he’s not even halfway done.

It’s all you can do now to remember what number you’re on, especially as Seokjin continues to allow torturously long pauses between his hits. He'll wait just long enough that your heartbeat starts to slow, teasing the thin length of the belt up the backs of your thighs, sometimes even with a laugh.

But it’s not relief: the waiting keeps every inch of you on edge, all wound up with anticipation of the next dose of pain, so tense you’re not sure you’re breathing.

You’ve hardly choked out fourteen when you flinch at a brush of contact, the warm touch of skin where you were expecting the crack of leather. Letting your forehead drop against the bed, you pant like you’ve just run a marathon as Seokjin's hand moves over your abused flesh, groping and massaging as he did before. You can’t tell if it’s been minutes or hours since then, but his touch is grounding, calming, even when his fingers sink into your fresh bruises with enough force to make you whimper.

You can feel the way the seam of your panties sticks to your center now, and you can only imagine that they must be entirely soaked through, your slickness already starting to paint the crux of your thighs. With a soft whine of need, you spread your legs a little wider in search of anything but more pain.

“What do you think?” Seokjin's voice is dark when he speaks, thick with lust. The thought of him straining hard against his pants has you practically drooling on the mattress. You want nothing more than that cock stretching you open right now. “Starting to learn your lesson?”

As much as the rational part of you appreciates the check-in, you can’t ignore the new rush of rebellion that surges up at the question. What, does he think you need him to go easy? Does he think you’re not tough enough, that you can’t take everything he’s willing to give you?

You push up to look over your shoulder at him again, your jaw set firm. “No.”

Anger flashes over his face, but he can’t quite hide his smile. “Then I guess I can stop holding back.”

Shit, he was—? You don’t get the opportunity to finish that thought before the loop of his belt is whizzing through the air, and the impact it makes against your ass hits so hard, you momentarily see stars. “Fuck!”

“That's not a fucking number.”

“Fifteen,” you gasp, dropping limp against the bed like a ragdoll, breathless with relief that you didn’t lose track. “Fifteen.”

“The brat can count,” Seokjin remarks, and then he delivers sixteen just as hard and your whole body spasms from the pain as you choke out the number. “If only you knew how old I was, you might have some idea of how much longer I have to beat your ass.”

Your eyes are really starting to well up now, but you force yourself to keep breathing, to focus on his words. It might be coded to fit the scene, but it’s a clear reminder nonetheless: you’re more than halfway. You can do this.

By twenty, the tears have started to spill down your face, but Seokjin knows you well enough to know the scene doesn’t stop unless you call a safeword. He trusts you to know your own limits, and you do. But fuck, he can really test them sometimes. You’re dying for him to touch you, fuck you, do anything but keep fucking beating you. It’s taking everything in you to keep going, your feet kicking helplessly each time he brings the belt down over your tender backside. He hasn’t lightened the weight of his hits up even in the slightest. If anything, they’re only getting worse.

“Twenty-one,” you breathe. You only have ten hits left, and you’ve already gotten through ten hits twice now. You can do this.

“Twenty-two.” You tell yourself not to fight it.

“Twenty-three.” Just give into the pain.

“Twenty-four.” Submit.

Your shoulders heave with sobs as the twenty-fifth strike finally, finally breaks your last resolve. You press your face into the mattress; you’re crying so hard you can scarcely breathe. Even though your body keeps flinching with the reflexive animal reaction to try and get away from the pain, your mind has fully accepted your punishment, all the fight gone out of you.

It’s like someone else is counting for you now, so much so that you don’t even realize what number Seokjin is on until the words leave your mouth.

“Thirty-one.”

You hear the jingle and thud of the belt hitting the floor, and then his gentle hands are encouraging your legs to spread apart. The brush of his fingers over your aching core is sweet, overwhelming relief from the pain still coursing through your system. You’d think it’d be enough to make you cry, if you weren’t already.

“Good girl,” he says softly, and that small praise alone has you floating straight up to the ceiling.

His hands move quickly to pull your panties down and off, and you work to get your breathing back under control, letting your sobs dissolve into sniffling gulps. You whimper when his palms slip under your hips, encouraging you up onto your knees. Your body shivers all over as you try to hold yourself up, to be good, and then you feel Seokjin slip two fingers into your drenched center.

“Oh my god,” you groan as he starts to rub diligently at the ridges of your front wall, his free hand gripping your ass to spread you open. His touch in both places at once, pressing down on fresh swollen bruises and curling up into the sweetest part of you, it’s so good. It reminds you why you willingly give yourself over to this man, the one you love so much, the only one who can make you feel like this. You’re so turned on from the mix of pleasure and pain, you might be close to blacking out.

The bed creaks as he shifts a little, and then he replaces his fingers with his mouth, and you keen. You bury your sounds in the crook of your elbow as his tongue plunges into you, and he snakes a hand between your legs to rub slow circles over your clit. Your mind is reeling; you can barely manage to speak.

“S-Seokjin,” you gasp. “You’re g-gonna, ngh, gonna make me—”

He pulls off just enough to mutter, “You better fucking ask first.”

You swear he ups the intensity on purpose when his mouth returns to your pussy, as if to drag you that much closer to the edge. His thumb is working so perfectly at your clit, you can feel your thighs starting to shake as you writhe back against him. “Can I— can I please come, Seokjin? Pleaseplease, please?”

“No.”

His voice is firm, unbothered, and paired with the painful loss of his touch all at once. A strangled sob of frustration escapes you as you collapse against the bed, exhausted from holding yourself up and from your denied release.

“Not yet,” Seokjin continues. “Not until you’ve learned to be a little more obedient.”

His strong hand closes over your bicep, and he easily flips you over onto your back, causing you to hiss at the graze of your sore flesh against the sheets. Your lower lip trembles, your eyes threatening tears as you stare up at him, but you stay quiet.

“Be a good girl,” Seokjin says, dragging one finger up the column of your throat. You willingly tip your head back for him as a shiver rolls through you. “Let me fuck this smart mouth, then I’ll make you come as many times as you can handle. Okay?”

When you nod softly, he hauls you up to your feet. “Get on your knees.”

You do as he says, sitting back on your heels and watching as he works his pants and boxers down to free his cock. He’s thick and long, flushed dark and dripping hard. Big enough that you go slightly cross-eyed trying to take him in. Your cunt clenches desperately at his size, at how badly you need all of him inside you, bottoming out into you again and again.

But even moreso, you want to be good.

“Mouth open,” Seokjin instructs, and you comply, letting your tongue loll out for him as he tangles a hand in your hair.

He guides himself between your lips, and your eyes roll back at the weight of him on your tongue, the feeling of your jaw stretching open to fit him. He’s so fucking big, it’s uncomfortable, but you do your best to breathe around him and give into it.

Trying to hold still, hands placed sweetly on your thighs because you know he likes it that way, you blink up at Seokjin as he starts to thrust into your mouth. You can taste the salt of his precum as his length drags along your tongue, and you fight back the urge to gag when the tip of his cock nudges into the back wall of your throat. He groans softly as he rubs himself there, his grip on your hair tightening until the pain stings your scalp. Your eyes start to water as you try to keep yourself from choking.

“Fuck,” he hisses when he pulls out, saliva stringing in thick strands from your mouth to the head of his cock. He squeezes at the base of it, eyes glazed dark with lust, and you take in as much air as you can, the cool rush painful where your throat is sore from the stretch of him.

You sit up taller as if to ask for more.

Seokjin’s gaze meets yours as the hand on his cock guides it back toward you, but he doesn’t slip back into your mouth. His eyes are fixated hungrily on your face as he drags the head of his dick down over your bottom lip, teasing it around your mouth and along your cheeks, clearly enjoying that he can do whatever he wants with you.

Your pulse drums loudly in your ears as you sit there, mouth open, and take it. The whole lower half of your face must be slick with spit and precum now, given how easily he glides across your skin, and then you’re hit with the heavy thud of him smacking his cock once, twice, three times against your flat, willing tongue.

“Are you done being a brat now?” he prompts, and you can feel drool spilling down your chin as you nod, his cock still weighing heavy on your outstretched tongue. He slips it in a little further, just past the ring of your lips.

“Gonna be a good girl for me?”

A soft whine escapes around his girth filling your mouth. You nod again, desperate, and then he hits the back of your throat with enough force to make you gag noisily. Your body shudders beneath him, and you try to keep it together.

“Learned your fucking lesson?”

Tears start to sting at the corners of your eyes as he keeps sliding himself into your mouth, the head of his cock dipping down into the tight clutch of your throat, as far as he can go until your nose is flush with his abdomen. You can’t make another sound, your mouth crammed too full, but you do your best to nod even as you lose the ability to keep breathing.

Seokjin’s thumb brushes over the bulge in your throat, and you know what he wants. Tears slip down your cheeks as you squeeze your eyes shut and swallow around him, and he rewards you with an unabashed moan that lights up everything inside you.

“That’s it. You look so good when you cry on my cock,” he rasps, his hand closing over your throat as you swallow again.

You can feel yourself starting to get light headed from lack of oxygen as more tears stream down your face, but the praise spurs you on. You want it too much, it makes you eager to please at any cost, despite the dizzying surge of adrenaline, despite the way your throat is spasming painfully now. You’ll pass out with his cock down your throat, if that’s what it takes.

He pulls out all at once, and the rush of air you heave in is like broken glass against your raw throat. You fall forward, your palms just barely catching you from landing directly onto your face, and you can’t do anything for a moment but breathe in ragged, shaky gasps. Tears are still welling up in your eyes, dripping down onto the carpet beneath you.

Your world tilts as Seokjin easily scoops you up in his arms just to drop you onto the bed, flat on your back. There’s still the dull ache of the bruises he beat into your ass, but it’s like someone’s turned the volume down on it. All your physical sensations seem distant, like they’re happening to someone else, even the dull ache thudding between your legs, a desperate desire to come that was only made worse by being used as your boyfriend’s fucktoy.

Your eyes flutter closed as his hands slip up your body to undo your lacy bralette and peel it off of you, and you don’t fight it.

“Hey, hey. Look at me.” Seokjin's voice pulls you back from the edge, and you fight to open your eyes again. He's hovering over you, fully stripped now, his brow creased slightly with concern. “Stay with me a little bit longer, okay?” His tone is still serious, and you sniff softly as you nod.

He slips a palm encouragingly under your thigh and you do the rest, so out of body that it’s like you weigh nothing at all as you pull your knees up to effectively bend yourself in half for him. He practically growls at the sight of you spread for him so willingly, presenting a cunt swollen with need, painted glossy with arousal.

You watch through heavy-lidded eyes as he kneels up on the bed, and then his thick cock is grinding over you, dragged right up your center. The feeling of finally being touched where you need it most has you exhaling a moan of relief.

“Is this what you want?” Seokjin's breath is hot on your neck and chased by the scrape of his teeth, earning another noise of pleasure from you. Your clit throbs as he rolls the head of his dick over it, up and down, slow teasing.

“Yes,” you manage to gasp. Your voice comes out a little broken from your scraped-up throat. “Yes, please. Please fuck me, please, want it so bad.”

“Which do you want more?”

You’re so gone, choking on whimpers and whines, that his hand closes over your throat to make you focus on the rest of his question. The look on his face is so dark, it sends a shiver down your spine.

“My dick, or my forgiveness?”

Tears spring to your eyes immediately as an overwhelming wave of emotions floods through you. There isn’t a doubt in your mind what your answer is, you don’t even have to pause to consider it. As badly as you want, need him to fuck you, the thought of Seokjin discarding you when he’s finished, still upset, not kissing every inch of your skin, not praising you for being so good… you can’t bear it.

“Your forgiveness,” you sob, doing your best to keep breathing despite his hand around your throat. “Please, please, please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I just wanna be good, wanna be good for you, I don't need anything else.”

You can see his face soften even through the tears that blur your vision. “There she is,” he murmurs, and then he tips his head down to brush his lips over yours. The warm touch of his mouth is all the reward you could ever ask for, and he sucks sweetly on your bottom lip before pulling back.

“Good answer, babygirl.”

Before you can even process what’s happening, he’s fucking the whole of his thick cock into you, and you can only keen as he stretches you wide enough to fit all of him. Your walls are immediately trembling tight to him from how edged close you’ve been all night.

“Thank you,” you moan, your head dropping back against the pillow. A gasp rips through you as he bottoms out, your spine arching when the crown of his cock presses firmly on your cervix. “Thank you, oh fuck.”

“Yeah,” Seokjin purrs, his mouth against your collarbone. You think he might be sucking a mark into your skin, but it’s already getting hard to tell what’s happening. “You always take it so well after I beat the brat out of you. Let go now, baby. You’ve earned it.”

You’re grateful for the permission, because you’re not sure you could stay tethered any longer if you tried. Not when he’s splitting you open, thrusting hard and deep because he knows you can take it, with a cock fat enough to light up every sweet spot in you at once. Your eyes roll back as you start to float, so out of it that you barely even notice a faint buzzing sound until you realize Seokjin is pressing your vibrator down against your swollen, aching clit.

Fuck, when did he even grab it off the nightstand?

You’re vaguely aware of someone moaning, but it doesn’t even feel like you. You’ve given up entirely to it now, a sweet surrender to this all-encompassing pleasure. It’s so good, too good, it slips you out of your mind and body alike, like he’s fucking your brain right out of your skull.

“That’s it, come on my cock,” Seokjin groans, and fuck, you are, you’re coming hard enough to drench his cock with every pulse of your needy cunt. “Such a good girl.”

He doesn't even pull the toy off to give you a moment of recovery, just keeps it nestled between your folds as he pounds into you. Your hips shudder violently as you coast out of your first climax and straight into another one.

It all starts to blur together now, wave after wave of orgasm washing over you until you’re drowning in it. You come and come and come until it feels like you’re melting into the bed, pinned through by this massive cock and the endless mind-numbing buzz on your clit. You can distantly tell that you’ve soaked a wet spot into the sheets beneath you, that your thighs and even the muscles of your ass are shaking from overstimulation.

“S-S-Seokjin.” It takes you three tries to get his name out, and you’re still not really sure if you said it until the toy switches off. The humming sensation is still reverberating through your body even in the absence of it, enough to make you tremble all over as he picks up the pace.

“Gonna fucking— fill you up,” Seokjin grunts, voice thick with effort, and then his cock twitches at the very back of you, buried deep as it can go, pulsing heavy as he paints you with rope after rope of his release.

You’re still not here, not really, not when he pulls out with a heavy sigh, when the cum starts to drool down your legs, when he drops onto the mattress beside you and pulls you into him. It comes back to you in pieces: you’re shivering all over, breathing hard, your face is wet— fuck, when were you crying?

It takes you several moments to realize Seokjin is murmuring in your ear, that his fingers are carding through your hair, his breath ghosting over your skin. “Just breathe, baby. Did so well, it’s over now. You’re safe.”

As the post-scene comedown settles into your bones, you bury your face into his shoulder, trying to breathe through the myriad of emotions and chemicals flooding your system. He pulls the blanket up over your chest, and the warmth of it and his body help to gently bring you down from the high.

You don’t know how long you lay like that until you finally manage to squeak out a question. “Y-you’re not really mad, right?”

Seokjin laughs gently as he presses a kiss to your hairline. “No, baby. I know you didn’t really forget. The birthday cake in the fridge kinda gave it away.”

The words take a second to hit you, and then a dazed giggle bubbles up in your chest. It’s like you’re floating as you start to laugh, your face still pressed into Seokjin’s skin, and you can feel the rumble of him laughing too. It didn’t even occur to you that he would’ve seen the fucking cake when he grabbed himself a bottle of wine.

“Oh,” is all you can think to say, and you keep giggling as his lips move over the line of your jaw, trailing kisses.

“You’re cute when you’re trying to get punished,” he says softly. “It's part of why I love you. You’re my perfect little brat. And this was the perfect gift, seriously.”

A warm glow blooms in your chest at the praise, and you sigh happily as you curl up against his side. “Can we eat cake in bed?”

Seokjin leans down to brush his mouth over yours, sweetly adoring. “Anything you want.”

#seokjin smut #seokjin x reader #seokjin x y/n #bts smut #bts x reader #bts fanfic #💜 happy seokjin day 💜

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gooseworx · 1 year ago

Note

Hi Goose!

I really want to tell you about something.

It's kind of related to TADC.

So I joined a discord server where i could chill out, talk about the show, that stuff, etc.

And I was like "I should share some things about the story I'm making!"

It's basically one where the reader and the canon character (the setting was Demon Slayer: it's an anime where demons exist and there are people who serve to destroy these demons. The specific canon character I picked for the story was a Swordsmith, who is also kind of important in the storyline.) that has an 8 year age gap. Back in the old days of Japan, you could marry someone if you were 13 or older. The reader was 29 while the canon character was 37, it's not really a good age gap, but it's acceptable, right? A few people in the world has that kind of age gap.

I was inspired by the song Older by Isabel Larosa in making the story.

I went on to tell the other members, but they were all acting weird about it. They kept saying "wtf" and "uhhh" and I had a feeling they were uncomfortable, so I apologized, and they warned me for it.

They also went on to kick me out of that server.

And then I went on to realize they thought the reader was 13 and that the canon character was OLDER. They thought I was being a weirdo and actually supported a child being married to some adult.

Their reason for kicking me was: "for discussing writing a story about having an 8 year age gap. even if the practice of marrying an older person as a child to continue a bloodline is apart of a country’s history, modern ethics are different."

And I was so confused!

I know this isn't really related to any of your works, and I apologize for that, but I needed your opinion.

Were they right for kicking me? Was it all just some big misunderstanding? Do you think what they thought was wrong and should've asked me for confirmation instead of thinking what they thought of? Or was it something to let go, don't let it come back and never let it return to you, because it's not worth my time?

Either way, I'm glad I'm not there to cause any more trouble. I feel deeply ashamed for mentioning it in the first place.

Again, I'm so so sorry for talking to you about this. I just needed some clarification from you.

Feel free to ignore this. But if you could, I'd love to hear a reply!

Hope you are well, and continue your marvelous work!

Huh?

1K notes · View notes

lowkeychenle · 7 months ago

Text

Guilty As Sin? [ZCL] (M)

Description: Chenle is everything you want--everything you need. Somehow, the thought of him manages to pull you back in even after you were free. Messy kisses, late night trysts, and him tracing the word 'mine' on your thigh--barely anything, so how could you possibly be guilty as sin? (based on Guilty As Sin? by Taylor Swift)

Genre: Smut/Fluff/Angst (there are like text message screenshots in here too!)

Content Warnings: Smutty smutness, use of the word 'slut' in a couple different instances, uhhh self...help lol, explicit, rough, unprotected sex, and I think that's it for now *MDNI*

Word Count: 9k

Taglist: @niinjo @dinosaurtoothbrushwithninjasauce @sleepyvic @christinewithluv @lostinneocity @thisisnotjacinta @toursworld

Permanent Taglist: @neozon3nha @sunnybutcloudy

Pairing: Zhong Chenle x fem!Reader (features roommate!Renjun, Mark, Jaemin, aespa Karina! and other Dreamies sporadically lol i don't even remember who's in here)

A/N: sorry if this feels a bit rushed :( busy season approaches again

Juliet's Masterlist | Tell me what you think? :)

Lips brush against your neck and trail up to your ear, and you feel his smile before you hear his chuckle. His hand grips your thigh, but as he pulls back, his eyes travel along your face. His irises have gone dark, and he gulps. The room is far hotter than it should be, and as you sit next to Chenle on your couch, his fingertip traces a single word on your skin, over and over again.

MINE

“(Y/N), are you listening?” Chenle’s voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and hopefully nobody notices how your stare was stuck on the way he taps his fingers on his jeans. Your face heats up, but you try your best to hide it.

“What? Sorry, tired today.” You sit back in your chair, glancing around the room to see your roommate, Renjun, and several of your other friends sitting on the various seats around your living area.

“You don’t look tired.” Karina raises her eyebrow at you.

You glare back at her. “How do you want me to fix that?”

“Chenle was asking us if we wanted to go to a party next week,” Jisung adds. “A friend we don’t know of his is turning twenty-three.”

“Uh, sure. I’ll be right back.” You launch up, heading for the kitchen. Before you turn fully, you make eye contact with Chenle. He leans back on the couch cushion, legs crossed, and head tilted. He’s dressed so simply, sweatpants and a dark, loose-fit T-shirt, but you could ignore those things for your own sanity.

What you can’t ignore?

The quirk of his eyebrow. Did you just imagine the way he looked you up and down? Every inch of your skin feels hot, and you think of those fucking fingers on your thigh all over again.

Before you embarrass yourself any further, you quickly move towards the kitchen, throwing the door of the refrigerator open to grab a water bottle. You set it on the counter after inhaling half of it, and then brace your palms on the edge, too. Closing your eyes, you take a deep breath. You’re not sure why you can’t stop fucking thinking about it.

His hips slam into yours while his hand covers your mouth to keep you quiet. Your eyes roll back in pleasure. No matter what, you’re lost in the feeling of him inside you, the sweet stretch and how his jaw is clenched hard to keep his own noises at bay. You want to feel him everywhere, to truly lose yourself in the moment.

You wrap your legs around his waist to get him closer, and he curses a little louder than he should—

“You okay?” Chenle’s voice startles you so much, you jump and let out a loud gasp.

“Fuck, why would you sneak up on me like that?” You try to focus on this Chenle, and not the one you’d been thinking about two seconds ago. Your body is on fire, and all you can do is hope everyone leaves soon.

“I…I didn’t.” He chuckles.

As soon as his fingertips graze your arm, you stop breathing. Your gaze darts down to the contact and you gulp. “What are you doing?”

“Uh, nothing? Are you okay? What’s gotten into you today?” He retracts his touch, concern flashing across the deep brown color of his eyes.

“I think I’m getting sick or something.” You scratch your forehead. “Sorry if I’m being weird.”

The next thing you know, he’s stepping closer to you. Your back is pressed into the countertop, and he slowly lifts his hand to press the back of it to your forehead. You try to control your breathing, but it’s no use.

“Hm,” Chenle murmurs. “You feel hot. You should go lay down and get some rest.”

That alone has embarrassment traveling through you at the speed of light. What the fuck is happening right now? He’s much too close, smells too good, and his voice is making your insides flutter.

“I…” You clear your throat and pull him away by his wrist. “Yeah, I’ll go.”

You grab your water bottle and practically run away from him, not stopping to acknowledge the rest of your friends as you travel the distance to your room. Closing the door behind you, you rest your back against it and let out a shaky breath. You pat your cheeks, trying hard to force it all out of your mind.

You can’t want Chenle right now. It’s severely inconvenient.

To be honest, you’re not even sure how it got this bad. How you got to the point where being around him has you on fire, craving to take off everything you’re wearing and cool yourself down.

You crawl into your bed instead, lying flat on your back and staring up at the ceiling. Mark’s obnoxious laugh sounds from the living room, but you try to tune everyone out. You don’t realize your hand resting on your lower abdomen until Chenle comes barrelling back into your thoughts.

“You gonna be good for me?” he murmurs, kissing your shoulder and breathing you in.

“Yes,” you say.

“Good girl.” His lips press against your jawline. “Can you show me? Show me how you want me to touch you, baby.”

You curse under your breath, the heat finally becoming too much. The stickiness between your legs is humiliating with your friends really only a few feet away, but you can’t find it within yourself to care. You lift your hips and quickly remove your shorts.

“Don’t be shy now,” Chenle scolds you, grabbing your wrist and guiding it down. “How else do I learn what you like, huh?”

You slide your hand beneath your panties, biting down hard on your bottom lip as you come in contact with your clit. A whine gets stuck in your throat, and you dip just a bit lower to gather wetness from your entrance. You pant, your arousal easily coating your fingers.

“Don’t rush.” His voice fills your ears, resonating deep inside you. “Make yourself feel good. Mean it.”

As your fingers make it back to your throbbing bud, you look at him. He sits on his knees, gaze locked on your core. He seems just as impatient as you—his hips rock his cock into his fist as he watches you.

“You’re so fucking wet. Little slut wants my cock that bad?”

“Yes.” You don’t mean to let it slip out for real, but the fast, tight circles have you lost in the clouds.

“Bet I’d make that tight little cunt feel better than you could, huh?”

“Fuck me.” You’re basically pleading at this point. “Fuck, I need it so bad.”

You lift your hips up, desperate for more. Your other hand grips the pillowcase next to your head. Pleasure tingles up your spine as you give yourself some much needed relief. Whispering curses under your breath, you allow yourself to slip two fingers inside. He’s right—yours would never compare to his. So long, so precise, so able to take you places you’ve never been before.

“I’ll give it to you soon,” he whispers, strained. “I need to see you cum first. Make a mess for me so I know you’re ready for my cock.”

You have no fucking clue what it is, but Chenle always has you cumming fast. As you pump your fingers inside, you use your other hand to stimulate your clit. Butterflies flutter in your stomach.

“So fucking desperate. Bet you want me to cum inside, don’t you? Fuck you full of my cum and watch it spill out.”

Just a little more, that’s all you need. You mutter his name quietly, refraining from whining as your hips buck.

“It’s okay, baby, I know you need me.” Chenle’s lips brush yours as slowly rocks against you. Your walls stretch so perfectly around him, you think you’ll go crazy. He lets out a curse when you dig your nails into his back, wreaking havoc on his skin.

God, you swear if you close your eyes and think hard enough, you can feel it. Your stomach twists and turns, and your high approaches way faster than you’d like. You want to savor him and all he has to offer.

You call his name, your body matching his every movement. Sweat covers both of you, sticking your chests together as his tongue wrestles with yours. He pulls away to meet your gaze and stares at you through hazy, clouded eyes.

He releases his grip on your hand, and you immediately lift it from where he pinned it on the mattress to his hair. When you tangle your fingers in it, he gasps, his hips stuttering against yours. He lets out a shuddering breath as he reaches down to thumb your clit, his forehead dropping onto your neck. Your entire being vibrates from being touched by him. It doesn’t take long for you to reach your high, your walls clamping down as you quickly bite down on his shoulder to muffle yourself.

The moan that leaves his lips is high pitched, short, and mixed with a few pretty curse words, and his hips buck one more time before he spills inside you. You clench your eyes shut as the two of you take a moment to regulate yourselves.

When you open them, you’re met with your ceiling instead of a sweaty, blissed out Chenle. You sigh in disappointment, but remove your fingers and try to recuperate your oxygen. You let yourself rest for a second, and then you’re swinging your legs over the side of your bed. Even the mere thought of Chenle doing those things to you has your legs tingling, almost uncomfortable to walk on as you make your way over to your dresser.

Once you change into a clean pair of panties and slide your shorts back on, you go into the bathroom and wash your hands. You look into the mirror and gulp, letting different thoughts take over.

Your towel is wrapped tightly around you as you walk back into your room, surprised to find Chenle still scrolling on his phone in your bed. Heart caught in your chest, you blink away your shock. “You’re still here.”

“Do I seem like someone who would leave after something like that?” He quirks an eyebrow at you, letting his screen fade to black before he tosses it on the bedside table. “C’mon, now, you should know me better than that.”

“I…” You clear your throat and scratch your forehead.

“Do you want me to go?” he asks. “I don’t want you to be uncomfortable or anything. I just thought…”

“No, no,” you interrupt him. “Of course not. It’s…different, though. This is us.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, it is.”

“Okay.” You nod, almost as if convincing yourself. “We can still…be us.”

“We can,” he confirms.

You splash some water on your face to get yourself to stop thinking about him. Nothing good will ever come from it. When you’re back in your room, you check your phone. A single notification is on the screen from Chenle. Embarrassment floods through you as you type a response, unable to shake how this is the man that had your legs shaking less than ten minutes ago. Not that he had to do anything to make it that way.

You slap a hand to your forehead. Guilt replaces your embarrassment. Chenle is a sweet guy, and always looks out for you as much as he can. You shouldn’t be lying to him like this.

His typing bubble comes up and disappears several times, like he’s debating on what he should say to that. He wants to take care of you. You shouldn’t let that mean this much to you, but you can’t help it. Finally, your phone dings with his response.

Being alone with Chenle makes you more nervous than you’d care to admit. You pace until you hear the knock on your door. The rest of the apartment is silent as you quickly make your way over to let him in. Of course, tonight was the night Renjun had to leave you alone.

You take a deep breath before allowing him inside. His form takes up the doorway, the darkness cascading over his features and making him that much more defined. You step out of his way, and he walks in without hesitation. He sets the plastic bag on the counter, but doesn’t look at you even as you approach.

“You really didn’t have to.”

“I know,” he says. “I wanted to.”

“Why?”

He shrugs.

“Chenle.”

“It’s a family recipe,” he replies, pushing the bag toward you. “I won’t stay, but make sure you eat it, alright?”

“I don’t have a fever,” you insist.

“Can you stop being so stubborn?” He frowns as he turns to you, his eyebrows furrowed. “What’s going on with you lately?”

“With me?”

“Yeah. You don’t even want to be in the same room as me. Did I do something?” He shoves his hands into his pockets. “I came up to you in the kitchen earlier and you acted like I’m the scariest person alive. So, was it me? What happened to make you so uncomfortable with being alone with me?”

You let out a nervous laugh. “I don’t want to do this right now. It’s past midnight and, according to you, I’m sick.”

“Alright.” His annoyance pulls his lips tightly together. “You’re going next week, right?”

You chew the inside of your cheek and nod. “Of course.”

“Cool. I guess I’ll see you then.” He doesn’t let you say another word before he leaves, and as soon as the door closes behind him, you let out a long sigh.What the hell are you supposed to do? He brings you food when you’re sick, texts you to make sure you’re okay, and is always conveniently timed in all of it. You push that thought away. The last thing you need is more to think about.

From the car, you and Renjun can hear the music from inside the house. You look the property up and down. People are everywhere, and you suddenly feel way too overwhelmed to actually go inside.

“Before we get out,” Renjun starts. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“You and Chenle.”

“Well, that’s not a question.”

He glares at you. “So he shares his location with me, and the other night, I clicked on his contact so I could give Jaemin his number. He was at our place and I definitely watched him leave before I did.”

“Yeah, and? Chenle and I are friends.” You stare back blankly.

“Come on.” He sighs. “You were basically ready to pounce on him from across the room, and then he comes back after everyone is gone?”

“Pouncing across the room is a little crazy, Jun.” You roll your eyes. “I promise you, I didn’t do anything with Chenle that night. I wasn’t feeling well and he came back to give me soup.”

He pauses. “In the middle of the night?”

“I can literally show you the text messages. And I solemnly swear I did not fuck nor intend to fuck Chenle.” You purse your lips and give him a pointed look. “Can we go inside now?”

“If you like him, you can tell me. We’re friends, you know.”

“Like Chenle?” Your voice raises a few pitches. “Renjun, this is ridiculous. Let’s just go.”

“And you should know, he wouldn’t just leave his house in the middle of the night without a reason. So, you being a little sick must be a really big deal to him.” Renjun covers his chuckle with a fake cough. “But yeah, let’s go.”

It’s been decided. You need a drink.

As you walk through the door, your phone buzzes in your pocket.

You send a quick glance over to your roommate, only to find him already deep in conversation with Jeno. Using that as your opportunity, you head to the direction of the kitchen, hoping you’ll find it in this giant house.

Chenle’s laugh sounds over the music, and you snort as you continue your path. You walk in, and Jaemin throws back a shot of…some mysterious liquid while Chenle and Karina grimace at him. His face scrunches up and a loud groan passes by his lips as he shakes his head.

“That shit is strong.” Jaemin fakes a gag and immediately grabs a can of Sprite to use as his chaser. “Disgusting.”

Chenle sees you first and smiles, and your heart plummets into your stomach. You’re not used to feeling this way around him, not really, but after the other night, everything feels awkward. Maybe he somehow secretly knows what you did.

He beckons you over, immediately grabbing another empty cup and mixes you a drink. You pause, blinking at him. He knows what your favorite is, and you have to wonder how.

Instead of standing next to Chenle, you take Karina’s other side and accept the cup. His smile falters but he doesn’t let it show for too long. Soon enough, he’s back to making fun of Jaemin.

Jisung peeks into the room, waving the four of you down. “You guys. Truth or dare. Living room. Now.”

“For fucks sake.” You sigh, and before you follow Jisung, you grab the bottle from Chenle and dump more alcohol into your drink.

You’re gonna need it.

The good thing about playing this game with your friends is that if you don’t want to answer, you just have to take a shot. Knowing Renjun, he’ll try to do something to make you admit the truth, and you can’t let that happen.

“Okay, drink penalty is two shots per skipped question,” Donghyuck starts. “Three if you skip a dare.”

There’s a devilish gleam in Renjun’s eyes from where he sits across from you, and all you know is you’re in for a whole new world of mental torture.

“I’ll start.” Renjun raises his hand.

“Cool.” Donghyuck replies. “Have at it.”

“Chenle,” Renjun says, making his selection quickly. “Truth or dare?”

“Me first?” Chenle inhales through his teeth. “I don’t trust you. Truth.”

“When’s the last time you got laid?”

Chenle visibly recoils, scratching the top of his head. “Wow, that’s crazy. I don’t know, a couple weeks ago?”

You don’t allow yourself to have a reaction to that. How can you?

“Jaemin.” He points to the pink haired man across from him.

“Dare. Obviously.”

“I dare you to remove one article of clothing every time someone skips a question.” Chenle grins.

“Sure.” Jaemin shrugs in response. “Easy. Mark, what about you?”

“Truth. Your dares are ridiculous.”

The night goes on like that, and eventually, Renjun is asking you the dreaded question.

You roll your eyes, but pick dare. Mistake.

“I dare you to kiss whoever you think the most attractive person is.”

You turn to Jaemin. “Looks like you’re finally taking your shirt off.” You grab the bottle of alcohol and the shot glass, much to Renjun’s dismay.

As you lift the first one to your lips, you catch Chenle’s gaze. His eyes are narrowed as you throw the first back and cringe. While Renjun refills the glass, you and Chenle are in a staring match, almost like he wants to know who you would’ve picked.

Renjun hands you the alcohol. “I’m trying to help you, you know.”

“I don’t need help,” you shoot back. “Stop helping.”

It doesn’t take long after your third for you to feel it, the room spinning slowly as you fight to pay attention to the game. Jaemin found that his shoes counted as an article of clothing, so all he’s got left are his pants, underwear, and one sock.

“Chenle, truth or dare?” Mark asks.

“Dare.” A chorus of ooh’s flood after Chenle says it.

When Renjun leans over to whisper something to Mark, you almost groan out loud.

Mark turns his attention back to Chenle. “Pick one of the girls, and they have to sit on your lap for the rest of the night. If they say no, you have to do the three shots.”

With the alcohol raging through your system, you wouldn’t have the energy to pretend you don’t want that to be you. You won’t hesitate to climb over, despite that being the last thing you should do.

He looks at you, his eyes dancing over your figure before he beckons you over with a single nod. He’s already done his fair share of passing on truths this round, so there’s no way you’re making him take three more shots. He’d be cooked.

Giving yourself a mental pep talk, you shuffle over to him. You hesitate about actually getting on top of him, but he doesn’t hesitate to wrap his arm tightly around your waist and pull you as close as he can get you. All you hope is that the catch of your breath isn’t noticeable.

In the split second you look back at him, your gaze travels down to his lips. He’s so close, but you know you have to stop. You can’t let this happen right now. But as soon as you feel the warmth of his body pressed to yours, your thoughts run rampant all over again. It takes every ounce of barely existent willpower to get you to turn towards the group again.

“Relax.” Chenle’s breath tickles your ear as his arms wrap around your midriff. “They want a reaction.”

“How do you—”

“Jaemin, truth or dare?” Chenle ignores whatever question you were about to ask, and your shoulders slump.

A few more rounds pass, and Renjun asks you if you’re interested in anyone. Drunk you can’t lie, so you take two more shots. You shift on top of Chenle to get your shots, and he loosens his grip a bit to give you more room. Without hesitation, you throw the shots back and watch as Jaemin pulls his sock off.

As you take your spot on Chenle’s lap again, you move to try and get comfortable. He holds you still suddenly.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers to you. “I’m drunk and you’re just moving and I can’t help it—”

“What are you—” And then you feel it.

“Please don’t freak out,” he says, panicking. “They’ll all know and I’ll literally never live this down. If you want to move, just…do it fast.”

“It’s okay,” you tell him. “Relax.”

“Huh?”

“You don’t pick when it does that.” You shrug. “If I move, will they see it?”

“Um, yeah.” He gulps. “It depends on if they’re sober enough to look, I guess.”

“Next time one of us gets the chance, we’ll just…dare the other something to get us out of here,” you suggest.

“Us?” he mutters, and you feel his breath shudder against your neck.

“Is it really just because you’re drunk?” you ask.

Before he has the opportunity to respond, Renjun’s voice catches you off guard. “(Y/N), truth or dare?”

“Dare.” You grip Chenle’s arm tightly.

“I dare you to kiss Chenle.”

You immediately think of the three shots you’ll have to take if you skip this one. Rolling your eyes, you decide you’ll show your friend up this time. You turn around so you’re straddling Chenle’s lap instead. The hard bulge in his sweats presses right against your core, and you swear you’re going to lose your fucking mind.

“Is this okay?” you ask him, shamelessly staring at his lips.

“God, yes.” He tangles his fingers in your hair and pulls you in, his mouth meeting yours harshly. You have to keep reminding yourself not to grind against him.

Your core throbs with want, and you’re sure your panties are ruined at this point. The only thing that pulls you away from the man beneath you is the woops and hollers of your friend group. The tips of your ears burn as you realize what you’ve just done, but you want to get him out of there now more than ever.

“Chenle,” you say, loud enough for everyone to hear. “Truth or dare?”

His fingers are still in your hair, like any shame the two of you would’ve felt is out of sight. He wets his lips. “Dare.”

“Come upstairs with me.”

The uproar around you almost drowns out Chenle’s question.

“Are you sure?” he whispers. “Even if we don’t do anything, they’re gonna think—”

“Stop worrying so much. Walk close behind me so they don’t see.”

Chenle glances up at the ceiling like he’s contemplating his options. Before long, he’s nodding. You carefully lift yourself off his lap, and the two of you stand at the same time. While you’re in front of him, the bulge in his pants is undeniable, and you almost grin in triumph. As he leads you through the group with your back basically pressed to his chest, you glare at Renjun, who smiles widely as if he’s won or something.

He leads you up the stairs and down a hallway, stopping at one of the doors in the middle. “This is where I stay whenever I drink too much.”

“So open the door, then.”

“You need to decide what you want right now,” he says, scanning over you. “If all of that was to save me from the embarrassment of our friends seeing how you made my dick hard, you don’t have to come in here.”

“If you knew half the shit I’ve thought about when it comes to you, I think you’d stop talking to me.” You let out an airy chuckle. “Open the door, Chenle.”

He does, gesturing for you to walk in first. You don’t even take a second to admire the room, because as soon as the outside world is blocked off, you pull his wrist until he’s pressed against you.

“You think about me?” He tilts his head. “What kind of things?”

“I’m not the one who popped a boner just from me sitting on your lap. Do you have some thoughts you’d like to share?”

“Oh, come on, now.” He narrows his eyes and weaves his fingers through your hair to tug your head back. “I fucking know you’re soaked. The way you kissed me out there? Whatever way you’ve thought about me must be…”

“Why tell you when I can show you?” You lean up, his lips brushing yours.

His chest rises and falls rapidly, his grip tightening as he kisses you and walks you backwards. The back of your knees hit the mattress, and he lets you fall onto it. When he moves to climb over you, you spread your legs to accommodate him. His mouth is back on yours in an instant, his hands everywhere.

“Need you so fucking bad,” he groans against you. “You drive me fucking crazy.”

You roll your hips up, and as his hands slide under your shirt, the rest of the night gets blurred.

When you wake up, you’re surprised to find your headache isn’t that bad. At first, as you’re staring at the ceiling, you forget what happened yesterday.

But then you feel the warmth of Chenle’s body next to you, his bare skin lighting fires on yours. He looks like an angel while he sleeps, but you feel an overwhelming urge to run. This wasn’t how you wanted it to happen. At the end of the day, you’ve wanted him for a long time, to the point where you’d created versions of him in your head.

The Chenle you daydreamed about is not the one in front of you, but you wonder how similar they could be.

You wish you could remember last night–the way he felt inside you, how he treated your body. All of that waiting to not even remember what it felt like.

You carefully remove his arm from around you and gather up the courage to get out of bed. As quietly as possible, you dress yourself and make your way to the door. With your hand on the handle, you blink at his sleeping form. You wonder briefly if he’ll remember the events from last night, if he’ll remember it was you, and if he’ll be upset you’re leaving.

The thought is quickly squandered and shoved away, and you leave him curled in his sheets like an angel. You sigh as you make your way down the stairs. Whatever peace you may have known within your silent daydreams are gone, considering your entire friend group watched you go upstairs with him last night. You and Chenle had been friends for years, but you’ve always wanted him in more ways than you’d let everyone think. Years worth of daydreams and hopes and wishes led to some form of delusion where you felt like you knew him cosmically.

Now you’ve done exactly what you’ve craved for so long, but it doesn’t feel right. And even though you feel like you know him, you only know the idea of him, truly. A made up version in your head that has you all kinds of fucked up.

You curse under your breath, letting your eyes roll as you blink back tears. The kitchen comes into view, and you’re surprised to be met by Jaemin and Renjun, too.

“Well, well, well.” Jaemin tsks, narrowing his eyes. “Are you sneaking away from the man of the hour?”

“Sneaking away is a little strong,” you mutter. “Renjun, you drove.”

“I figured you’d be wrapped up all day.” Your roommate pouts.

You glare at him. “Could you stop that? And get your ass out of this house so you can take me home? I need to shower.”

“I’m sure Chenle wouldn’t mind if you—”

“Renjun.”

The serious tone of your voice has both Renjun and Jaemin losing their smiles. They exchange glances, and then your roommate grabs his keys and follows you out of the front.

“Is everything okay?” Renjun asks once you get in the car.

“I—” You sigh. “Yeah, it’s fine. I just feel…sticky, and I’d like to shower and change my clothes.”

“Does he know?”

“Know what?”

“That you left.” He raises an eyebrow at you.

You gulp, wondering if it would’ve been so bad if you’d stayed until he woke up.

But it would’ve. You’re closer to him than he’ll ever be with you, and you have your own mind to thank for that. You’ve imagined late night trysts, laughing with him over nothing, kissing him just because you felt like it. If you’re going to let yourself cross a physical line with him in the real world, how the hell do you build something with someone you’ve already mentally created an entire home with in your head?

“He likes you, you know.” Renjun taps his fingers on the steering wheel, but his eyes are locked on the road. “He wouldn’t have slept with you otherwise. And this is just gonna make him think you don’t like him back, and literally everyone knows you do.”

“It was…all wrong, okay? And I can’t even remember it, so does it even count for anything?”

“So…you left?”

“I don’t want to talk about this anymore.” You shake your head, cross your arms over your chest, and stare out the window. “I’m sure he’ll bring it up.”

As soon as you get home, you get in the shower. You mentally chastise yourself the whole time, and then you get out and change your clothes. Logically, Chenle would be up by now, and he’d notice you were gone. You don’t even want to look at your phone. None of it even has to do with him—you’re just not ready to shatter the image of who he is in your head. What if he’s nothing like the Chenle you’ve created?

But when you grab your phone, you have no notifications on your screen. You swallow hard, knowing that in attempting to save your precious image of him, you might’ve hurt him by leaving him alone.

The Chenle from your head would’ve rushed over the second he realized you were gone. You lay on your bed, grab one of your pillows, and cradle it to your chest as you stare at the wall. How do you explain you’re in love with a man that’s not real? That you’ve made him into someone he’s not and spun stories upon stories that he’ll never actually share with you?

A knock sounds at your door.

“Go away, Renjun,” you grumble, still facing the opposite direction.

It opens anyway.

“Does Renjun usually come to your room a lot?” Chenle’s voice startles you from your fetal position, and you drop your pillow as you whip around to face him.

His shoulder presses into the doorframe and his arms are crossed over his chest. A different pair of sweats clings to his hips, and a simple, long black T-shirt covers his upper half.

“Why do you look so surprised?” he asks. “Did I tell you I wanted you to leave?”

“Chenle, I—”

“Do you regret it? Is that why you left? I’m just trying to figure this out because, at the very least, I don’t want things to be weird between us. So, let’s talk about it.”

“Aren’t things already weird?” You bring your knees up to your chest.

“Well, they were. And I kind of figured that’s what resulted in last night. It doesn’t matter what happens at the end of the conversation as long as we’re good, okay? I’m not expecting anything from you except for us not imploding our friend group.” He taps his foot on the ground.

“Okay.” You take a deep breath and pat the spot next to you. “Close the door.”

He does as you ask and then takes the spot next to you, keeping his hands flat on his thighs. Staring forward, he can’t seem to sit still.

“Do you have something you’d like to say?” You tilt your head. “You seem nervous.”

“I just—I guess I just really want to know why you left.” He laughs at himself. “Not even for my ego purposes, but…did you not like it? Was it bad for you?”

You scratch your forehead and scrunch your face up. “To be honest, I don’t remember any of it.”

Realization dawns on him, and his cheeks paint a gentle pink as he averts his gaze from yours.

“We were drunk, Lele, I didn’t forget on purpose.” You want him to say whatever it is on his mind. He looks like he’s biting his tongue.

“No, I know that.” He nods. “It was kind of a big deal for me. Not that I’m trying to make you feel bad or anything because that’s also not your fault, but I…I really like you, (Y/N). So, that was…real for me, I guess.”

His confession takes you off guard, despite Renjun already telling you. You created a perfect version of Chenle in your mind, but never for a moment did you believe he might live up to those expectations. Now, you’re not sure.

“Drunk or not, I wouldn’t have slept with you if I didn’t like you, too, you know.” You nudge his shoulder. “It was a lot. And I was pissed at myself for not remembering it.”

“Yeah, I’d probably be freaked out if I didn’t remember.” He pauses. “Are you okay? If I’d known that would happen, I wouldn’t have—”

“Relax,” you reassure him. “It’s embarrassing how long I’ve wanted to do that. Even more embarrassing that it actually happened and I have no clue if I made a fool of myself.”

He clears his throat, eyebrows jumping up. “You did not.”

“Well, in that case, everything is right in the world.” You shrug.

“So…” Chenle sighs. “What now?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, what do we do from here? Are we…a thing? Is that what you want?”

His fingers trail up and down your spine, his eyes meeting yours through the darkness. He’s gentle with you, and the brush of his skin on yours is almost too soft to feel. With every blink, his eyelashes flutter against his cheeks, and you trace over his features mentally. You stare at him, the stillness of the room around you making him that much more heavenly.

“I think I’m in love with you,” he whispers, pulling you closer. “I don’t know if I’m allowed to say that, but I think I am.”

In order to be with this Chenle, you have to let the one in your head go. But how can you do that? How do you erase complete storylines?

“I think I need some time.” You inhale slowly. “It’s a lot all at once, and I just need to make sure it’s a good decision—”

“You don’t need to explain yourself to me,” he says, putting his hand on your knee. “I get it. Do whatever you need to do, and I’ll obviously respect whatever you decide.”

“You okay?” he whispers, pulling you closer. “You seem sad today.”

“I’m never sad when I’m with you.”

“I…I’ll see you around, okay?” He doesn’t do well at hiding his hurt and disappointment, and while that tears you apart, you need to figure out if this is something you’re willing to risk. The perfect image of him might shatter, and is that really fair to either of you?

You place your hand on top of his and nod, finally looking into his eyes. “I’m sorry, Lele.”

“I promise, it’s okay. I get it.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m here for you if you need anything. Seriously.”

His words sink in, and your stomach twists.

“You know I’m here for you if you need anything,” Chenle tells you, brushing your hair behind your ear. “You don’t have to be alone anymore. Not when I’m here.”

“You scare me,” you admit to him. “Falling for you scares me.”

“I’d be more worried if you weren’t scared.” He laughs and leans back against your couch, spreading his arms across the back.

“Come on,” you deadpan.

“How about you relax a little? C’mere.” He beckons you closer. “I’ll show you how nice it is to be with someone.”

At this point, it all feels real. Every thought you’ve manufactured about him has become so real to you, you can’t fathom the Chenle sitting in front of you isn’t the same person.

He leans forward and presses his lips to your cheek, but within the blink of an eye, he’s standing up and walking away from you. If your vision didn’t blur, you wouldn’t notice the tears welling in your eyes. It feels like the end. The end of a beginning you never really had, but you know something has to happen. You have to figure your own shit out before you can even think about him.

They’re the same person, but an overwhelming feeling of guilt takes over. You’re lying to him. Both versions of him, actually. And now you’ve got yourself caught up in the real world with no way to explain why you can’t move forward with him. How do you tell him it’s because he’s not who you pictured him to be?

But how do you know that if you never give him the opportunity?

You bury your head in your pillow and scream. The answer would come sooner or later.

When you fall asleep that night, the answer comes quicker than you thought it would. You fade into your dream world, which is the only time you get with him uninterrupted. These always feel so…real.

Dreams and imagined thoughts become fact, reality. Where do you draw the line?

His form is warm next to you, but here, fear doesn’t exist. You curl closer to him. He hums in content and kisses the top of your head.

“What’s going on?” he mumbles, voice deep with sleep. “You okay?”

“I don’t know.” You inhale shakily. “Why does this feel real?”

“What? Because it is.” Laughter intertwines with his voice, but your irritation sets in. Now your delusion has a mind of its own.

You sit up in the bed, looking over at him. “Chenle, I’m serious. We both know this is all fake.”

“The love isn’t fake. The admiration and the way we want each other. You didn’t want to sleep alone, and this was a safe option. What’s changing your mind?”

“You.” After a brief pause, you drop your head into your hands. “The real you. No matter what I do, if I stick around here, I still wake up alone. I don’t have anything without this, and this is barely even…”

“I can’t tell you what to do,” Chenle replies. He reaches over and intertwines his fingers with yours, rubbing his thumb against you. “Do what you think is right. If you don’t give him the opportunity to prove himself, you’ll be stuck here. If you do, and he fucks it up, you can always come back. I’ll always be there for you.”

“That’s the problem, I think.” You furrow your eyebrows and shake your head. “As long as I know you’re here, I’m never going to want him. It’ll always be you.”

“Then you know what you need to do.”

“I’m scared.”

“That’s natural. He’s not going to hurt you. He loves you.” This version of Chenle is so soft with you. So gentle. So overly cognizant of everything going through your head.

Because you created him. Because he knows every corner of your brain.

Expecting the real Chenle to be this way is…unfair, to say the least. He’s separate from you.

“But we—” Your voice breaks. “If I do that, you’ll be gone. Everything we had will be gone.”

“We don’t have anything, (Y/N). You know that. Don’t let him slip away because you’re scared he won’t live up to expectations. Go, and love him. You deserve to be happy.”

He wipes away the tear that falls down your cheek with his thumb, a small smile gracing his features as he regards you with all the care in the world.

“I’m so sorry.” You sigh and pull him away by his wrist. Quickly, you press your lips to his forehead and hug him. “Thank you for everything. But I have to let you go now. I can’t believe I’ve let it go on this long…it feels like I already have a life with him. Like all of this is real and he’s waiting for me to admit it, too.”

“Thoughts don’t make you a bad person. Wanting someone doesn’t make you evil. Not giving them the opportunity to love you back does. Don’t think of all of this as a vow to him, but a vow to yourself. You know what you need, and you shouldn’t accept anything else.” His gaze travels over your face. “Let me go. It’s okay.”

Your jaw quivers as you will reality back in. As you watch this perfect, handmade version of the man you love dissipate right in front of your eyes. He gives you a reassuring smile as he fades into nothing, and your heart pangs as you see the same thing happen in all of the memories you forged.

You’re free. And that can only mean one thing.

You give yourself a week of space from Chenle. Any version of him. In that time, you find the one created in your head doesn’t appear nearly as often. On the seventh night, you’re alone, staring up at your ceiling while trying to sleep.

At times like these, you’d usually depend on the man you crafted, but the longer you’re away from him, the more you crave the real version. He admitted he likes you, and all you have to do is tell him you feel the same. It shouldn’t be that hard.

Your phone tells you it’s just past midnight. You throw your blanket off of you, and you don’t even change out before you’re preparing to leave your house. Maybe showing up at his place at this hour with soft pink shorts and a matching shirt would introduce some problems, but you don’t care about any of them.

His lights are still on when you pull into his driveway. You give yourself one last mental pep talk, and then you’re launching out of your seat and approaching him for the first time in a week. You knock on his door. Inside is silent, so you pace while you wait for him to let you in.

He opens it, blinking in shock at you. Everything about him is so simple right now, and you might like him best like this. A thin, silver chain is clasped around his neck, dipping beneath the neckline of his oversized T-shirt.

“It’s freezing outside,” he scolds you, pulling you into the house. “Are you alright? You didn’t tell me you were—”

You wrap your arms around his shoulders and kiss him. He lets out a short gasp, but he quickly recuperates and gives you back everything tenfold. His hand lies flat on the small of your back as he presses you as close to him as he can. He spins you around and walks you back until you’re between him and the wall.

You don’t realize the force behind the action, but something around you clatters to the floor.

“Shit,” he groans as he pulls away from you.

When he looks over his shoulder, you peek past him, and find Jaemin, Karina, and Renjun staring at you with wide eyes. Your face burns as you drop your forehead against Chenle’s chest.

“I…yeah, they’re here right now.” He lets out a breathless chuckle. “I would’ve told you, but…you know.”

“Actually, we’re about to head out.” Jaemin clears his throat. “Like don’t let us interrupt anything. Karina was just saying how tired she was, and Renjun really doesn’t like being out this late anyway. So we’ll…see you guys tomorrow. Or not. Depending on how tonight works out. But it looks like she’s a woman on a mission so—”

“Jaemin, shut the hell up.” Karina glares at him.

“Right. Bye!” Jaemin giggles as the three of them exit, leaving you and Chenle alone to bask in whatever the hell this aftermath is.

“You—you’re here.” Chenle leans away from you to catch your eyes. “Are you okay? Sorry, they probably made that awkward.”

“I’m okay. Great, actually. I…I thought about it, about us, and I want to try. As long as that’s what you still want.”

You fidget with your hands, and he reaches down to stop you. Intertwining his fingers with yours, he grants you a soft smile.

“Of course, I still want that. I’ve liked you for so long, I’m not gonna randomly stop now.” He pulls you in for a hug, breathing you in.

When the two of you move away from each other, you can’t help the way your gaze naturally locks on his mouth. Nothing compares to the feeling of them on yours. You cup his cheek, and the next thing you know, both of you are leaning in.

He stops just before your lips brush. “You’re sober this time, yeah?”

“Seriously?” You push at his chest. “Of course, I am.”

A smile breaks out on his face, and he cuts his chuckle off by kissing you. You mold into his body and sigh against him when you feel his hand on your lower back. A shaky breath escapes you as his palms travel downward, squeezing your ass before reaching your thighs. With his unspoken hint, you allow him to lift you up, and then he’s taking you down the hall.

Before you’re even in his bedroom, he’s putting you down and sliding beneath your shirt, pulling the silky fabric over your head. He pauses at the sight of your bare breasts, immediately leaning down to latch his lips to your collarbone. You sigh and grab the hem of his T-shirt.

“Tell me how it was last time,” you whisper, the ache between your legs already too much to bear. “Was it good?”

“So fucking good,” he confirms, dragging his lips up your pulse to kiss your jaw. “I laid you down on the edge of the bed and made you cum on my tongue. Did you know how much you fucking squirm?”

You press your thighs together. “Chenle…”

“You were so wet when I fucked you.” He pushes your shorts down. “How long were you waiting for that moment? Hm?”

“Why don’t we do it all again?” You grab his hand and guide it between your legs. He easily complies, his fingers finding your clit through your panties.

You grind down against the pressure he barely applies, throwing your head back at the sensation. He nips on your neck before sliding the embarrassingly wet fabric away from your core. Two of his long fingers stretch you open, and you can’t help the moan that falls from your lips.

You don’t know how you possibly could’ve forgotten this last time, because you certainly never will now. His palm hits your clit with every thrust of his hand, and your brain quickly turns fully focused on finding a way to reach euphoria.

“So wet for me again,” he mumbles. “So fucking perfect.”

You grab at his wrist to get him to remove his fingers, and then you’re turning him around and pushing him to sit on the edge of the mattress. Like you’ve lost every sense of control, you climb onto his lap, tugging at his shirt. He finally takes it off while you work on pulling his sweats down enough to get his cock out.

“You gonna ride me?” He grips your ass and squeezes. “Gonna show me how bad you want me?”

“Is that okay?”

“Of course.” He moves his hands to your hips and lowers you a bit more on his lap.

You reach down and line him up with your entrance, watching as he inhales in anticipation. Sinking all the way down, you whine at the feeling of him stretching your inner walls.

“Pretty pussy’s all mine,” he murmurs, rocking his hips up. “Wanted me so much you can’t even wait ‘til I make you cum first.”

Your body urges you to move. Nothing is enough to satiate this growing urge except for him. You slowly lift up to tentatively sit back down, and then you hold on to his shoulders, keeping a steady pace in how fast you take him. His eyes grow hazy at the pleasure, and he digs his nails into your skin. Everything else in the world disappears as he stretches you out, as he reaches a deep spot inside you that has you crying out.

Short, low moans leave his lips as he thrusts up harder, leaving your body shaking in his grasp. Nobody has ever made you feel the way he does. Your thighs begin to ache from your increased pace, but when he reaches down to rub circles on your clit, you easily forget the burning sensation.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” His eyes roll slightly, but he’s determined to keep his pace. “You gonna cum for me? C’mon, baby, squeeze my cock.”

Your speed increases more, but your movements are more erratic, chasing a high that’s so, so close to you. He leans forward and wraps his lips around your nipple, and flicks it with his tongue.

Your orgasm hits you like a truck, and as you spasm on top of him, you attempt to keep your pace. Curses spew from his mouth, and he wraps his arm around you to flip you onto your back. He puts your legs on his shoulders and grips onto your hips. His skin slaps against yours and despite your overstimulation, he finds your throbbing, sensitive bud again as he thrusts hard enough for the bed to join you in crying out.

“That’s it, baby,” he groans. Strands of his hair stick to his forehead in sweat, but he doesn’t relent. “Almost there. You can give me one more.”

You whine his name, squirming wildly until you feel another knot tying deep inside you. He stretches you to your limits, and never fails to reach that spot that has your eyes rolling back.

His eyebrows furrow in concentration as the bed squeaks unforgivingly below you. He moves your legs and turns you to the side, digging his nails into your thigh as he picks up his speed. His hips smack into you so hard, your whines and moans are loud and distorted from the movements.

He thrusts into you one more time before he spills his load. You’re both panting. Shock courses through you at the course of events, but you fucking loved it. He pulls out slowly, guiding you onto your back.

He pushes his sweats all the way down but settles his cock back in his boxers. Leaning forward, he presses a kiss to your cheek.

“I’ll be right back. Gonna grab something to clean you up.” He heads toward his bathroom and leaves you on his mattress.

You’re asleep before he even comes back.

When you wake up, you’re staring at your own ceiling, in your place in your own bed. Disappointment weighs heavily on your shoulders, but you know exactly what this is. The emptiness on the other side of your bed proves to you all you needed to know—It’s getting pathetic at this point.

There’s an ache between your thighs from the aftermath of the dream, but since you’ll be meeting up with everyone later, you’d feel bad for taking care of yourself at the thought of one of your closest friends railing you.

But that’s the thing, isn’t it?

Soon enough, you'll confuse yourself between the fantasy you've built in your brain and the real world. You’ve never actually touched him, not really. So, at the end of the day, is there anything to be guilty about?

But that thought does more damage than it helps. It’s not going to work out for you, and you’ll always be here, Chenle heavy on your mind, all while you’re guilty as sin.

#nct dream #chenle #nct #nct dream smut #nct imagines #nct smut #chenle smut #nct scenarios #chenle imagine #chenle fluff #chenle angst #chenle scenarios #nct fluff #nct au #chenle au #nct dream au

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starb3rrys · 1 year ago

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Hiii I'm kinda new to Tumblr so idk how stuff really works here😭 but anyway are your requests open? If so, then I'd like to make a req but if not just ignore this!!

Umm so basically an nsfw oneshot(idk what you call it) or headcanons of how bsd men would react/deal the situation when you two are hiding in a very tight space and your crotches accidentally rub together? RHRHHT it's kinda weird describing it but let's just say [character] pushed you along with him into a locker/box with you sitting on top of his lap OR with you too close ttp that you two could feel each other with every inch you move

Uhhh and yeah that's it and feel free to add some touches and changes on the scenario, and I'd greatly appreciate it if maybe you add Nikolai in it😁🙏AND AGAIN IF U DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING MY REQ OR ISN'T ACCEPTING REQS RN THEN FEEL FREE TO IGNORE I HONESTLY DON'T MIND!!/lh /srs

OMG YES?! Ugh, I love this request! I wanted to add some more characters as well, So I picked the DOA (sorry) ＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／

If y’all want a part 2 with different characters just let me know, Im at your service! <3

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

A Tight Fit~

Ft. Nikolai, Sigma, Fyodor

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

Nikolai

Scenario: You were out on a mission with Nikolai, it should’ve been an easy “break in and grab important documents” type mission. But now, you two were squeezed together in a small closet, fearing that any small movement would get you two caught.

“Stay quiet...” Nikolai said as he listened closely, his face looked concentrated and serious, a change from his usual happy and calm face

You quietly nod, as you press against the wall behind you to try and get some more space in between you two

The closet is pretty small, hence why nikolai is leaning down, his hands are pressed firmly on each side of your head, inevitably pinning you in place

Nikolai thinks of a way for both of you to escape this situation without being spotted, “maybe I can teleport something”, he thought to himself

He reaches for his cape, unintentionally pressing against you

Your eyes widen as you feel something press against your area, you slowly look up to see if Nikolai noticed

His cheeks are flushed, hes frozen in place and there is an obvious smirk forming on his face

Yeah he definitely noticed.

You start to speak “Niko-… you’re so clo-“, he cuts you off as he places his hand over your lips

“Shh...” He says as he places a finger against his own lips with a small smirk

Moments later you hear the door of the office close, you two are now alone

“They’re gone now...” Nikolai says in a quiet gentle tone, he turns to you “But, i mean…we could just stay in here~” he says with a mischievous grin

Even after you two get out of that closet, he would keep on teasing and reminding you of the “incident”, he will make sure you never forget!~

Sigma

Scenario: You really don’t know how you got in this situation, one second you and Sigma were walking the streets of the city at night, after your wonderful date. The next, you were hiding in a small dark alley, your body pressed tightly against sigmas as you both hid from a certain jester.

“Damn it.” Sigma cursed under his breath as he kept his guard up, looking around frantically with a worried yet annoyed look

You looked up at Sigma, “Why are we hiding?” You whispered

Sigma looked down at you as he let out a sigh “I saw Nikolai roaming the streets, We can’t be seen together by anyone in the decay, if they were to find out about us...I’m sure horrible consequences would follow” he explained

You nod in agreement, “I understand..but um, why did we have to hide in such a...tight space.” You say as you look away, you can feel his body pressed tightly against yours, you can feel his every breath, his every shuffle and every slight movement

Sigma realizes this and blushes as his eyes widen, “I’m sorry, I didn’t even notice our position in the heat of the moment”

As he says this, you hear a slight noise come from the alley which causes you to slightly jump in a fright

Sigma let’s out a small grunt as he feels your crotch roughly brush against his, he grips your shoulders and holds you in place “Love please…try and stay still…at least for now” he pleads as his face flushes

Your eyes widen as you feel something slightly poke you “Sigm-“ you’re cut off as his hand covers your mouth, “Keep quiet..” he whispers as you hear footsteps around the corner

You feel him press more onto you, trying to hide your body from view as he lays his head against you shoulder, next to your ear

You slightly shuffle which causes sigma to groan in response, he quickly grips your hips with slight force

“Keep still..” he says in a low tone

Once you two finally get out of the alley way…let’s just say- his head was full of scenarios that caused him to blush profusely, as he practically dragged you to your apartment…

Fyodor

Scenario: Work has been so busy lately, new mission reports coming in everyday. Piles of finished and unfinished documents decorate your desk. All of this caused you to become stressed and overwhelmed, which caused you to become clumsy. So clumsy that you didn’t even seem to notice Fyodor turning the corner, not until it was too late.

**THUD**, is all that can be heard as your bodies crash together and fall to the floor

You feel extreme pain on your head as you let out a small groan of pain

You soothe your head and begin to slowly open your eyes, you try and comprehend what just happened as you hear a soft pained groan come from under you

You slowly begin to look down, your face flushes when you and Fyodor’s eyes meet

His eyes show slight shock as they quickly return to their neutral state, he just stares up at you…not uttering a word

You take a minute to process what is currently happening…and thats when you feel it, you feel something pressing against your area

You quickly get off Fyodor as you begin to apologize, “I’m so sorry! I should’ve been paying more attention!”, you ramble on apologies as you quickly stand up

He lets out a small chuckle as he stands up and brushes himself off , “No worries, more importantly…are you alright?” He asks with a bit of concern present in his tone

You nod as your face grows red, you begin to remember what you felt under you as you pray to god he didn’t notice

But, its like he can read you like a book, he smirks as he reaches for your chin, making you look at him “Yes,…I did notice and feel it” he says with a sly tone

You freeze in place as he says this, he then pulls away and softly smiles “Just be more careful and aware in the future, alright?”

He narrows his eyes as his tone changes to a more stern one, “Next time I won’t be so forgiving…~” he says as he begins to walk off

You’re left standing there shocked and frozen in place

He definitely enjoyed it, especially your cute reaction when you thought he didn’t notice. But for your sake he won’t bring it up, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t think about it constantly…~

₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ. ₊˚ʚ ᗢ₊˚✧ ﾟ.

Hi Hi! Sorry for the delay, work has been getting in the way but no worries im clearing out my requests!

I changed the scenario up a bit for Fyodor! (Sorry)

I appreciate everyone sending in requests! Love yall! <3

#bsd nikolai gogol #nikolai x reader #bsd sigma #sigma x reader #bsd fyodor #fyodor x reader #bsd #bsd x reader #bsd fanfic

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livesworthlivingau · 6 months ago

Text

Lives Worth Living Chapter 10

ISAT spoilers below! CW: Uhhh... talking to your family? That's pretty traumatizing right?

"30 YEARS?!" (You flinch as you hear everyone shout in unison from the other side of the wall. It took everything in you to finally tell Isa the truth, so thankfully he offered to explain it all to the others for you... Oh Isa... I swear I don't deserve you... You lay your head against the wall, pressing your ear closer to try and hear their muffled chatter.)

"So how many times has he looped this go around?"

"... He said only one but... I don't know, I don't think he's ready to talk about that yet..." (...)

"... Does he know what caused him to loop again?"

"..." (The room goes silent... it seems Isa didn't want to say it either.)

"... Ah..." (Odile pipes up, having gotten whatever hint Isa was giving.)

"So does this mean Frin is the oldest now?"

"We are NOT going to discuss that Boniface." (You can't help but give a little chuckle at that, despite the overwhelming dread washing over you.)

"Let's just be sure to take it easy on him, okay? It took a lot for him to admit that... we should try our best not to overwhelm him. Let him go at his own pace, yeah?" (Oh Isa...)

"You're right, this is... a lot, for all of us I'm sure..."

"S-So this means that... Siffrin knows the future?! Like THAT far in the future?! Oh no this is bad, that NEVER goes well in the books! What if we mess up the timeline or something?!"

"Well the world isn't falling apart yet... I don't like the idea of simply ignoring this but... it's not exactly a rush either, now is it?"

"I guess it's not... b-but if anything weird starts happening, we should be careful!"

"Definitely, but for now, we should just be here for Sif. He must be really going through it right now..." (You sigh as you pull your head from the wall... You suppose it's time to face everyone, for better or worse. You stand up, leaving the room, and knocking at the door. You wait nervously for what feels like an eternity, terrified to face this moment. Finally the door slowly opens to Isa... just seeing his sweet smile calms you down.)

"Hey Sif... You ready to talk for a bit?" (You nod, entering the room as he steps aside. Everyone is standing there... staring at you... You retreat a little behind your cloak and hat.)

"Oh Siffrin... I can't imagine what you must be going through..." (Odile starts, Isa approaching from behind and placing a hand on your shoulder. You lean back against him out of habit and need for comfort. The rest of your family start to approach, and you give a light nod of approval, being encased in a wonderful hug from everyone. Safe, Loved, Safe, Loved...)

"Th-Thank you... Okay... I'm ready to talk." (You sigh out, trying to keep from crying again. You know they'd support it but you're just sick of it at the moment. You walk over to the nearest chair and flop down into it... just sitting in awkward silence until-.)

"So when do you two finally kiss?"

"BONNIE!"

"DSKALJDSAJLSDAFJLSF" (You face burns darker, looking away as you hear Isa's very flustered noises. You take a moment before deciding to answer.)

"two months..."

"HAH!" (Odile can't control herself for snorting, Bonnie giggling to themself as well while Mirabelle looks mortified at their behavior. You don't even need to look at Isa to know he's absolutely writhing, but you do since it's fun to watch.)

"canwemoveonprettyplease?"

"Do I become a head housemaiden?!" (Mirabelle shouts out, as if having been holding it back this whole time. You open your mouth to answer-.)

"NO WAIT SPOILERS! DON'T TELL ME DON'T TELL ME SORRY!!" (She panics, covering her ears as a precaution.)

"So much for not overwhelming him..." (Odile sighs, rubbing her temple before continuing.)

"Well, since you have some of foresight on the matter, do feel free to keep us informed of things to avoid. Especially for your own sake." (You nod in response, sharing that familiar appreciative look you both are used to.)

"Do I become a master cooker?!" (Bonnie's eyes light up brightly, leaning closer in awe as they await the fated answer.)

"Hehe... Yup, got a famous cook book and everything." (Bonnie raises their fists in triumph, running around excitedly and shouting about their future accomplishment. They help break the tension as always.)

"Uhh... Sif?... Uhm... A-Are we... Y.. Y-know..." (Isa begins, trailing off as he can't seem to find the words. You just blush some more and giving a light nod. You reach for your earlobe and rub it a bit, helping ensure you're on the same page. His face grows several shades darker.)

"Alright everyone, let's not get too focused on our futures. The more we know the less likely things will play out the same anyways. As I said Siffrin, if it feels important then please bring it up. Otherwise I think we're all best off knowing as little as possible..."

"R-Right!"

"Y-Yeah, probably a good idea..."

"Awwww, no more future secrets?! No fair, Dile!"

"Heh, sorry Bonbon, granny's orders." (You tease, thankful that you don't have to divulge your entire previous life.)

"But you're older now! That means you're in charge!"

"I said we're not discussing that Boniface!!" (Bonnie just snorts and sticks their tongue out.)

"Regardless, there's still an important detail we haven't discussed... What are we going to do about this?" (Odile asks in a serious tone, looking directly to you for some sort of answer.)

"... I... I don't know... now that Loop is back, I-"

"Loop? What do you mean they're back?" (… Crab.)

"... Right... I forgot to mention that.." (You take a few deep breaths to calm yourself.)

"I can't... I can't explain everything right now, but Loop never showed up again in all those years. B-But as soon as I looped back I heard them! They're here, I saw them, b-but..." (Your voice trails off. You realize you were starting to sound desperate, everyone giving you those same concerned looks they always did whenever you got rather frantic... How do you explain this? What CAN you say?...)

"... I'm sorry... I-I just can't explain it right now..."

"Well, I suppose telling us at all is a major improvement from before, so we'll take that victory where we can." (Odile teased as she walked over, lightly ruffling your hair some.)

"And no matter what anyone says, I'm the elder around here." (She added... you weren't quite sure if that was a joke, or some sort of threat.)

"But it's been a long day for everyone, let us get some rest and maybe we'll figure out what to do about this in the near future. For now, our plans remain the same, off to Bambouche to find Boniface's dear sister." (Stars, you completely forgot...)

"Uhh… actually..."

"... She left to try and find us, didn't they?"

"... I don't remember where they ended up either..." (Odile pinches her temple and gives a long sigh.)

#lives worth living au #lwlau #isat au #isat spoilers #isat fanfic #isat #in stars and time fanfic #in stars and time spoilers

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b1ackbunny · 1 year ago

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LOVE LIES

CH. 1 | SIN CITY

A Bada Lee smau-ish ff

pairing: bada lee x fem!dancer!oc (jia mei yu)

synopsis: bada lee wasn’t looking for love when it found her. jia mei yu couldn’t truly comprehend the feeling inside when she was with her, on and off the dancefloor. when these two dancers meet by chance, a bond is formed and uncharted territories are explored.

word count: 2.9k

warnings: definitely au-like… no mentions of swf or smf, uhhh idk any more, bad writing, friendly violence, a little inaccurate, unedited

previous: prologue

next: chapter 2

masterlist

a/n: first posted ff on here obviously has to be with my wife ofcccc!!! I’ve always wanted to do a smau-ish type story so I wasn't gonna pass up this opportunity 🫶🏽 this is just for funsies take nothing seriously so if you guys want to comment feel free I hope you enjoy! planning for this to be a series

Jia sighed and opened the practice room door, shrugging her bag off her shoulder and placing it by the mirror. She spent most of her day with Leejung and Deukie, although she got breakfast with her main friend group beforehand.

Looking down at her phone, she saw a couple of notifications displayed on her lock screen. She ignored them for now and opened Spotify, scrolling through her different playlists. Jia wanted to end the day with a calm freestyle session, so she settled on her playlist containing relaxed but danceable songs.

She clicked shuffle play and stretched for the duration of the first song. Setting her phone on the floor to record some of her session for potential sparks of genius, Jia made sure her shoes were tied as the first notes of Waves by Normani began to play.

Jia swayed to the beat before beginning to be immersed in the music. It was like second nature to hit each beat for the girl. Every move she did matched the vibe of the song. She stared at the mirror and couldn't help but criticize her dancing a bit.

Yes, her body control was exceptional, but she believed her lines could've been better. She took off her hat and ran her hands through her hair. She crouched down and took multiple sips of water. After she finished, she put her hat back on and stopped the recording before standing up straight and waiting for the next song.

The playlist continued to shuffle play and each song that played reminded her of the one person she didn't want to think about. After dancing to Too Late by SZA, Jia decided to take a break. She looked at the time and saw it was 7:16 in the evening.

Taking her water bottle and drinking a decent amount, she looked at it and saw that it was a little less than halfway. She picked up her phone and water bottle, put her phone in her pocket, and exited the studio. She felt comfortable leaving her bag in the room since YGX was her usual studio.

Jia walked down the hall, occasionally peeking through the windows of other rooms to see if any of her friends were in. Just as she was about to peek through the window of a room, she heard her name being called and hurried steps.

Her eyes widened once she turned her head to see it was her friend J-Ho. “J-Ho! What are you doing here?” She beamed at the Just Jerk dancer with a slightly confused smile. Jia and J-Ho’s friendship was one of those low-maintenance ones so it's safe to say she hadn't seen him since June.

J-Ho answered while pulling the girl into a hug, “My friend is hosting a workshop here so Howl, Hulk, and I wanted to sit in and support.” Jia let out a sound of understanding and pulled away before looking through the room window and seeing two familiar faces.

“Wait- it's in this one?” J-Ho confirmed with a nod and a grin. “There's a 10-minute break so I took a bathroom break,” J-Ho explained as he opened the door. Jia was getting ready to walk away before seeing J-Ho’s confused face.

“You’re not coming in to say hi to Hulk and Howl?” Jia glanced at the window before looking back at J-Ho. “I don't want to intrude or anyth-” Her sentence was cut off by J-Ho laughing and pulling her into the room. Jia smiled and bowed at the students she passed while the two made a beeline toward their friends.

“Guess who I found lurking in the hallway.” J-Ho joked as the two reached their target. It seemed that they were in a conversation but when J-Ho spoke, they all turned their attention toward the two. Jia only recognized two out of the three dancers they approached.

Hulk was the first to pull her into a hug and sway side to side. “G, I haven't seen you in so long!” Jia laughed a little and nodded as their hug ended, forming the Scout Honor sign with her right hand and standing up exaggeratedly straight. “I've been extremely loyal to YGX since about early August.”

The three rolled their eyes at her statement with a smile, knowing that her statement was only half-true. Jia greeted Howl before glancing over to the girl she was unfamiliar with. She looked her up and down, not in a rude way but in one with genuine curiosity.

“Oh, right sorry. This is the friend I told you about. Jia, meet Bada Lee. Bada, meet Jia Mei Yu.” J-Ho introduced the two. Jia and Bada bowed toward each other, a smile spreading across Jia’s face when she started to recognize the name. “Wait, you're the one that choreographed for Aespa and NCT, right?”

Bada nodded her head with a smile, causing Jia to smile more and slightly bounce on her toes and quietly clap. “But, you choreographed for Le Sserafim and Itzy, if I'm not mistaken?” Bada asked her smile still prominent when Jia nodded and covered her mouth.

She felt she was smiling too hard so she pulled down her hat, hoping it would swallow her face and smile whole. Bada glanced at the clock and saw the break was almost over. She made it known to the class before making her way back to the group.

“It was nice seeing you guys-” Jia started to say her goodbyes before she was cut off by Bada. “You can stay and watch the rest of the workshop…” Jia furrowed her eyebrows, glancing at the boys who nodded in agreement with Bada then locking her eyes back on the beautiful girl in front of her.

“Only if you want to or aren't already busy, of course..” Bada rushed out and the corners of Jia’s lips slightly curled up when she saw a hopeful glint in the girl’s eyes. “I didn't want to be a bother or anything but if you insist…” Jia trailed off, the smile that threatened to escape fought a winning battle.

Bada nodded and grinned before moving toward the front of the class. Once she left the group, Jia turned toward the boys and punched J-Ho in the arm. He winced in pain and moved away from the girl before she could hit him again. “That was for saying my full government name when introducing me to the Bada Lee.”

Jia sweetly smiled at him and patted his arm, summoning laughs from Howl and Hulk. J-Ho rolled his eyes and mushed the girl’s head to the side. “You’ll be fine.” Jia folded her arms and shifted her attention to the girl she stayed to watch.

Jia found Bada undeniably attractive and couldn't have been any more unprepared for what she was about to see. Since Bada had already taught and ran through the dance moves before the break, it was time to do the choreography full-out once again.

Jia and her friends stood toward the back while the first group, including Bada, moved to the center where there was a space cleared for them. The cameraman signaled that they were recording and the song started.

The girl recognized it as Sin City by SAAY and began to feel excited that she was able to experience this in person. She grinned at Bada through the mirror and caught a glimpse of the corners of her mouth twitch up.

She was completely and utterly caught off guard as soon as the group started dancing. Although both Bada and her students were doing an amazing job, Jia couldn't seem to shift her gaze onto anyone other than Bada.

She clapped and cheered for the dancers but as soon as she made eye contact with Bada for the fourth time she had to cover the lower half of her face with her hoodie’s sleeve to hide the rising blush that took over her features.

The other dancers stepped away, leaving Bada to perform her freestyle at the end. At this point, Jia fanned her face a bit, feeling unbelievably embarrassed and flustered at the way her body seemed to respond to seeing the girl dance.

Hulk laughed at her expression and how pink her face seemed to be getting, causing Jia to feint at him before going back to watching the phenomenal dancer in front of her. Once Bada finished with a bow, everyone began cheering for the dancer.

Jia clapped, cheered, and bounced on her toes before being pulled down to stand flat on her feet by Howl. The girl’s smile dropped and she side-eyed him before shooing his hands. “Let me applaud for this talented woman in peace!” Howl laughed and shook his head.

“You just met her, you're embarrassing yourself.” Jia rolled her eyes and looked over at the girl who was picking out the dancers for the next group. She held a dimmed smile, knowing that there was most likely some truth to Howl’s statement.

After the next group danced, Jia decided she wasn't going to stay for the other groups and it was time for her to head back to her practice room. “Well, this was fun thank you guys for convincing me to stay!” She said with a smile while glancing between all her friends.

She peeked over at Bada who was now stationed at the back of the room with them and saw she wore a slightly bummed expression. “You're not staying for the whole workshop?” Jia sighed at Bada’s question and shook her head.

“I should get back to the practice room I was in. It was great meeting you and I hope we meet again!” Jia kindly stated before saying her goodbyes to the group and bowing. She walked toward the door, greeting some students who recognized her on the way and exited the room.

Remembering the original reason why she left the room in the first place, she walked to the water dispenser at the end of the hall and began filling her bottle. She couldn't deny that Howl’s words ran through her mind a bit.

Why did she get so excited over a girl she just met? Especially when less than thirty minutes ago Jinhyoung was one of the only people on her mind. Speaking of him, she still couldn't wrap her mind around how he basically ghosted her for four months and then commented on her tweet.

Jia grimaced at the thought and stopped filling her water bottle. She walked back down the hall to her practice room while tightening the cap of her bottle. Opening the door, she was met with the room exactly how she left it.

She connected her phone back to the speakers and began stretching while searching for her next song. After deciding on a song, she set her phone up against the mirror. Only by J.cob began playing and Jia smiled when she took off her hat, running her fingers through her hair.

Before the lyrics began, she made the quick decision to ditch both her hat and her hoodie. Thankfully she had a black crewneck tank top underneath. Right after she tossed the hat and hoodie to the side, the lyrics commenced and she began dancing.

With each dance move, she found herself getting more and more hyped. She looked at herself through the mirror when the pre-chorus hit. She slowed down her moves and incorporated some hip movements before picking up the speed when the chorus began.

Due to this being one of her most listened-to songs, she was able to tell a story with her moves. They were smooth and looked pretty good for it being a freestyle. When Nathania’s verse on the song began Jia smiled at her reflection.

She was truly having fun. With her notifications ultimately being silenced and left in the company of herself and the music, Jia was honestly at peace. She smoothly danced to the verse, coordinating her body in ways she felt went with the song.

As the song came to an end, Jia felt that some parts of that freestyle could've been rearranged into a choreography. She slipped over to her phone and bent down to stop the recording.

She disconnected it from the speakers and replayed the recording. While watching the video, she cringed at some parts and felt like an intellectual at others. Overall, she ruled the freestyle as a stroke of genius.

When this happens, Jia usually locks herself in the room until she is able to transform it into an adequate choreography. This time is no different. She stood in the middle of the room, rerunning the video and dissecting the routine.

Jia decided that she would only make choreography for Nathania’s verse. She debated with herself on whether she should make the choreo more sensual or hip-hop-based. After some deliberation, she chose the latter and began working.

Since she didn't bring her notebook, she opened the notes app and started writing out elements that she liked from the freestyle, flipping between the recording and the notes app.

She added to, subtracted from, and rearranged the choreography until she was satisfied with her end result. This took close to three hours and many recordings later. Once Jia finished her final take, she smiled at her reflection and held her hips.

Her shallow breaths were heard once she picked up her phone and stopped both the recording and the music. She laid on her back and took deep breaths, the cool flooring helped her body cool down.

Hating the feeling of her hair sticking to her skin, she got up and walked to where her bag was. Once she reached it, she pulled out a hair tie and put her hair up in a ponytail while looking at herself in the mirror.

She heard a knock at the door and looked at her watch. It was currently 10:30 p.m. She remembered renting out the studio till 11 p.m., so this made her eyebrows slightly furrow. Jia turned toward the door and slightly smiled at who she saw.

Calmly striding over to the door, Jia swung the door open and leaned against it. “Well, well, well, what do we have here? Didn't your class end hours ago?” She joked with a tiny smile and happily maintained eye contact with the girl in front of her. “Yeah, it did, but I stayed to work on some new choreography.”

Jia hummed in understanding before putting a hand on her hip and quirking her eyebrow. “So, Bada Lee… why are you here?” Jia observed as Bada rubbed the side of her neck.

“I didn’t get the chance to ask for your number before. I think we should collaborate on a choreography or two in the future.” Bada vocalized and Jia put on a thinking expression. She looked up at the ceiling before glimpsing back at the girl.

“Yeah, of course! To tell the truth, I was honestly hoping we could potentially be friends…?” Jia hopefully drew out. The pause that occurred was mortifying and made the girl stare at her shoes.

Jia held back the urge to cover her face and right when she was about to take the request back, she heard a laugh from Bada. Her eyes immediately snapped up to meet Bada’s and what she was met with made her smile.

Bada was staring at the girl with a grin while nodding her head. “I’d love that.” Jia slightly giggled and tried to smoothen down her ponytail. Her eyes scanned over Bada’s face, stopping at every minute feature before meeting her eyes once again.

“So, the phone number?” Bada reminded and Jia could hear a slight tease in her tone. Jia shook her head and laughed to herself before turning toward the inside of the room. “Right, yeah, of course, duh!”

She signaled for Bada to come inside as she walked toward her phone lying in the center of the room. She picked it up and speed-walked to where Bada stood by the door. Unlocking her phone and opening her contacts, she swiped on the keypad and turned the phone toward Bada.

Bada did the same and the pair took each other’s phones. After they typed their phone numbers into the other’s phone, they both handed it back. Jia smiled at the contact and slowly tapped her phone against her hand.

“I guess we’ll meet again sooner than later.” Jia joked and watched as Bada backed up toward the door, holding up her phone. “I’ll text you.” She said once she reached the door and shook her phone, grinning.

Jia nodded and put a thumbs-up before Bada excited the room. She waited a couple of seconds after Bada’s departure to start celebrating. The giddy feeling inside was still apparent and Jia couldn't help but start hopping out of excitement.

She started doing her victory dance and punching the air before stopping and looking out the window to make sure nobody witnessed that. With a sigh, she fell back on the floor and smiled at the ceiling.

It feels like it's been forever since she truly liked someone, and though she's okay with how her life was, she missed the feeling a new crush brought her. Although she proposed the idea of being friends, Jia couldn't help but want for more and she hoped Bada would soon feel the same.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

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ohbo-ohno · 1 year ago

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.. that purge playlist screenshot got me thinking..

the annual purge has started. Soap is confident in himself, staying alive tonight. Locked up in his home, which is out of the way and secured properly(he’s an explosives expert, what did you expect?), so, yeah! He’s making it through. He already does enough killing in his job, he doesn’t want to spend leave doing what he’s no doubt gonna do when he gets back.

all’s well, it’s late, and Soap’s getting ready to head off to bed in his basement. Simple, easy, super secure. He’d hear anyone trying to get in, and his weapons are right at his side! An easy night! .. right?

it’s late. Or early? It’s still dark out when he jolts awake to a crash. Did- did something just break? Where was it? He climbed out of his little makeshift bed, grabbing his gun, just in case.

goes upstairs, there’s nothing there.. musta been a ‘coon! Yeah.

except, it wasn’t. When Soap gets back down into the basement after doing a quick patrol of the house, someone’s down there. A big hulking someone who looks.. familiar.

before he can put his finger on it, that big someone lunges for him, pulling Soap’s back against his big chest as he wraps his hands wrap around his throat, cutting off his air.

that’s when it hits him. That smell. That’s Ghost’s cologne!

uhhh the brainworms stopped brainworming so blah blah Soap wakes up, groggy and chained to a bed. Not his own. Tries to look around, all he sees is the large bed he’s laying on in a dark room. maybe an hour or so later, someone comes down into the room. Ghost. Mmmmakes a comment about how Soap was out longer than he thought he would be, how he should have closed the door behind him going back down into his basement, uhhhhahhdsh yeah

(this is really fucking long I’m so sorry feel free to ignore I JUST HAD TO GET THIS OUT sorry if you don’t want long things like this sent into your inbox 😭😭)

-👑

that purge playlist is because im writing a ghoap x reader purge au (that i hope to have finished today) for the love of my life lumi

there's soooo much you can do with a purge au!!! you could have ghost use soap as basically a hunting dog, dragging victims to his master for him to kill. you could have reader as a bonkers insane murderer who ghoap become obsessed with after see her kill someone. you could have poor ol' johnny get taken and kidnapped :/

i loooooove your idea, and i'll add a tiny little layer to it if you don't mind:

maybe johnny's a barista and ghost is one of his regulars. he comes in at the same time everyday (not super weird at a coffee shop) and always waits in johnny's line, even if the other line is shorter. he's intense and creepy as hell, barely ever speaking - as soon as johnny figured out his regular order, he stopped speaking at all. he gives johnny heebie-jeebies, but he tips like $20 every day, so whatever

except the day of the purge, he finally speaks. says something super generic like "goin' out tonight?" and johnny gives back an easy answer (no, i'm no fool, smth like that), and ghost says "good. make sure you don't leave your place. never know who you might run into out there."

which like. creepy, but no creepier than ghost (which is the name he always gives, and there's no way it's his actual name yeah?) has ever been. johnny brushes it off, forgets it by lunch

and of course, simon is very glad to see his boy listened to him when he stops by his apartment that night and sees he's locked in. too bad he couldn't afford a better security system

#👑 anon #i love my ghoap anons #asks and answers #ghoap #purge au

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thesuperiorgenshinaddict · 5 months ago

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can u do smthing with hiori yo and like reader has like abusive or like just toxic or something just wrong with the family and like hiori and reader like get closer cuz they both deal with the same stuff at home (strangers to friends to lovers)? long or short idc accept or ignore idc. Have a good day =)))

AN: ty for the request!! for what reader has going on in their family, i kept it vague cuz i obvs wouldn't want to assume anything, i hope you're doing okay though :> for this specifically, i did this pre-blue lock but feel free to ask for anything different! and more important AN: yeah i pumped reader w/ characterization kinda. like there's an actual plot which kinda makes sense kinda doesn't. ermmmm i might as well say i got slightly sidetracked but that's cringe!!!!!! CRINGE!1!!11 whatev hopw you enjoy... god im a failure

Pairing: Hiori Yo x GN! Reader Warnings: Hiori gunning down zombies in video games idk what else to say, uhhh shitty cliffhangers (less of cliffhangers, more like hillhangers or something)

HCs first:

Hiori's probably reserved at first. Let's just say that the two of you go to the same school or something, because I can't think that he would just randomly approach someone he doesn't at least recognize. I'd reckon that the two of you end up bonding because of coincidences, considering how he pretty much just does school -> home -> gaming and wouldn't go out of his way to talk to someone he doesn't have to talk to.

Coincidences as in being at the same park at the same time, or trying to get the same thing at a store, stuff like that. Honestly, he would probably not talk to you much and would just mind his own business. After he ends up running into you for the millionth time, he'd probably make some polite conversation because it's just getting too awkward. Something like 'Oh, you're from Class yap yapyap, right?' or 'Oh wow the weather's so nice today' (there's a typhoon).

At some point, rather you or him would end up saying something that breaks the awkwardness. Like maybe saying a less than normal joke but it ends up being funny, making a game reference, or shitting on a teacher that you both mutually dislike. From then on, Hiori starts actively hanging out with you.

Those coincidences end up becoming apart of his day to day schedule, morphing it into school -> park -> home -> gaming. He gets out of his house by telling his parents he's going out for a run to ease his nerves or whatever and spends as much time as physically possible away from them. Hiori will occasionally bring a handheld game console and explain game functions while sitting next to you because he still needs to finish the campaign, even if he's outside.

Even though he spends a lot of time with you, the both of you avoid the topic of spending time at each others' house. Hiori takes it as a win, but he still finds your aversion to it a bit off. As much as he tries to think of other things to do besides sitting on the rusted swings and having you watch him as he shoots goals for 2 hours straight, everything else seems redundant. He tried going to a café with you once, but after he saw the protein to calorie ratio of the drinks, he went straight back to semi-enjoying nature.

After a bit of contemplation, he asks for your contact information. He then has to convince you about the beauty of Discord and why it's better then Line messaging and gives you his username. Majority of his messages are 'hru' or 'r u up?' or screenshots of his homework so you can copy it. Or you don't if you're a very awesome cool honest student. Good for you.

Hiori does long calls with you and just plays video games in the background. Although, it's slightly difficult to focus on his voice because his button mashing is insanely loud and because the playing game status has been running for a while (21 days straight).

Now that he acquired the ability to communicate to you from his phone, he is able to actually plan stuff to hang out. As soon as he finishes his football practice, he heads off to see you.

But, of course, all good things must come to an end. Or a pause.

Slinging his tote bag over his shoulder, he opens and closes his mouth like a fish before he starts searching around the park. A bypasser walking their dog turns the other direction as the six foot man crawls around on the playground slide. Despite his usual calmness, his heart races in his chest.

After 7 minutes of just wandering around, it clicks in his brain. Oh. You ghosted him. His shoulders slack and he picks up his bag; now dirtied with mud and woodchips, and he goes back home.

When he greets his parents at the door, his eyes flit to the floor. There's nothing to distract him from this sickening feeling. Hiori goes into his room, shuts the door, and turns on his console. He shoots the zombies until his eyelids start drooping and he falls asleep.

The next morning, he checks his phone from muscle memory. There's no good morning text. The only notification he has is from one of the cheap mobile games he downloaded out of boredom. Every class period, he raises his hand to go to the bathroom, and checks his phone again. Nothing. He goes to football practice and kicks the ball until the back of his heels have friction marks on them. His feet drag him to the park, across the damp ground, and he sits on the rusted swingset for an hour.

You don't come.

He doesn't see you at school. Days feel like years. Then months pass. He doesn't feel that... upset, per say, he just feels hollow. Like if someone was chipping away at his heart with a toothpick, or something. Weird ass analogy.

He still goes to that park everyday. Instead of talking with you, he jogs around the park and waits for you to randomly pop up and tell him 'haha lolz i was just trolling sry 4 ghosting u OwO'.

The brainrot is got so strong that he literally found himself accidentally buying two Yakult drinks, one for himself and one for you. He still religiously checks his phone every hour. With his pent up energy, he gets seventeen more achievements in his shooting game.

At last, the day you come back. It's pouring rain and he's carrying his umbrella. When he lifts his gaze from the ground, he sees that you're at the park. He can't tell if he's mad or happy or confused or what. Hiori's heart races as he hovers his umbrella over your head and he says the most ultra cool uber awesome thing ever that expresses all of his strong emotions about your absence.

"Heya."

The conversation is stiff and Hiori kinda just talks. Not even about how he misses calling you or whatever. He talks about schoolwork, a new game he added to his steam library, and the weather.

He has a whole yapfest in the most polite manner possible.

Then he makes one snide remark about his parents and you actually join in on shitting on parents together and he feels his face heat up at the slightest. He's getting demolished by the rain and all he can think about is 'this is fun.'

It kinda becomes a bit of an inside joke. Hiori finds it funny. His parents' expectations feel a whole lot lighter now. 'Yo-chan, did you do football practice?' and 'Good job! I'm so proud of you for scoring that goal!' feel hilarious. It's like he's on top of the world, laughing maniacally. Whenever he teabags on the guy he successfully guns down in the games he plays (good sportsmanship my ass), he imagines it's his parents taking the L instead.

He makes it his unofficial mission to spend as much time with you out of the house. Aquariums, libraries, theaters, things of that sort. When it starts getting dark outside and you both have to head home, he reminds you that you can always call him.

While he's playing a new game that's more story-based, there's a side romance plot that makes his jaw slack as he realizes. Hiori's been taking you on dates. And he enjoys them. When he goes to sleep that night, he has a dream where he runs away with you into the horizon, away from both of your families and away from his parents' expectations.

It takes him a long time to think of the optimal confession plan. In between practice and football matches, time passes a lot quicker than he would like, and he needs to confess soon. Or else, he'll be swept away and graduate and become a professional football player, where his life will revolve around football and not what shitty movie he should watch with you.

His plans are ruined when he sees that you seem a bit off. Your eyes are a bit redder than usual and your posture is slouched. He ditches the movie and the two of you go to the park and walk. When the sun starts setting, he swallows down his fears of rejection and gently squeezes your hands.

"I- I like ya a lot. Will," He pauses, and he notices that his grip is shaky. "Can I be yer boyfriend?"

boom cliffhanger i'm tweaking the fuck out hope you enjoyed (please tell me you did im so sorry if i fucked up big time) Fic... thing?

Hiori is a perceptive person. Whether it's because he's gotten used to making note of things while on the field or just programmed into his nature, he doesn't know. For the most part, it's not something he cares much about. The things he notices are buried to the back of his mind. It's mainly unimportant things that he ends up noticing; the gossip that the kids sitting in front of him are very unsubtly whispering about or whatever TV show everyone's watching; none of which he cares about.

It had rained despite the what the forecast had said, and afterschool football practice was canceled. The students who were unlucky enough to not have an umbrella had speedily biked away, trying not to get drenched by the rain. The lucky ones strolled around and talked about going to karaoke. Although his peers' clothes were drenched and a few of them had slipped in puddles, even under the safety of his umbrella, Hiori didn't feel particularly lucky. "Yo-chan, we saved up and bought you this nice umbrella!" His free hand reaches up and runs over the smooth material of the handle. 'That's right,' Hiori thought bitterly. 'If I catch a cold, I can't play football at my full potential.'

Keeping his gaze focused on the ground, he walks and all he can hear is the sound of the rain. The sleeves of his uniform get a bit wet. His legs move on autopilot and before he processes it, he's at the same park that his parents used to bring him to. He avoids the mini football field like the plague and goes to the playground.

It's empty. The rain must have drove everyone away. The first time he sees you, you're sitting on the swingset by yourself. Hiori momentarily thinks about how he's seen you in school before, but he minds his own business. He drowns out the sound of the rain and the creaking of the swings and puts his headphones on. He blasts death metal to avoid his thoughts. For some reason, his so called 'perception' is giving him a weird, murky feeling about you.

He chalks it up to be another football skill and doesn't think about it for the next month.

The next time he thinks about his perception is when he's on a call with you. He explains game mechanics while sharing his screen. "This one has higher health, but lower defense. It's better to shoot it from a distance, it only takes a few shots if ya have good gear," He rapidly clicks a few buttons and does a triple kill combo.

You're adding to the conversation, so it's not just him talking, but he still feels just a bit off. "This one runs fast. It's better to kill it off quickly than worry about it later." With a wry smile, the zombie dies. "This is currently the most meta weapon. Ya can get it from the battlepass. It has a lot of ammo, quick to reload, and has better than average range. The best part about it though is its fast shooting and aim function."

His eyes flutter shut before he mentally prepares himself to ask if you're okay. and boom cliffhanger because me big tired AN: uhhhhhhhhhhhh what was i gonna say i forgot okie toodles :3

#blue lock #blue lock x reader #hiori yo #bllk #bllk x reader #hiori x reader #hiori yo x reader #i heart skibidi toilet

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bestworstcase · 10 months ago

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Sooo, I've been going through some of your posts, reading up on your personal opinions on certain characters I like. I'm trying to understand why you think certain things, so sorry if I come off as rude at any point. There's likely some posts I've missed lol

Uhhh, I'll be the first to admit that I don't agree with most, if not all of your takes, but regardless I find your train of thought pretty interesting cause you do make a few points I agree with.

One thing I wanna ask is- why do you see Ozpin as someone who's a needlessly paranoid religious zealot that doesn't understand Salems point of view and is demonizing her for basically no reason?

I've probably bastardized your opinion somewhere in my attempt to paraphrase it, but I'm really curious since your opinion is pretty much the exact opposite of mine lol.

Feel free to ignore the tangent I'm gonna go on, I just want to share my opinions and debate a little (I need a little mental stimulation lol).

Personally, I honestly don't see Oz as a religious zealot, or as someone who follows the GoL unquestionably. His first reaction to the GoL offering him his task is to say- "No." Oz, thinking Salem is dead, does not care about what the GoL wants or needs from him. And when Oz takes his task (which imo he was manipulated into by the GoL) and reincarnates, he immediately ignores the GoL's incredibly vague warning and goes looking for Salem. Not only that, but when he's asked by Ruby if he has a plan to defeat Salem/unite humanity, he says he doesn't. Plus, he actively refers to his immortality as a curse, despite the GoL not framing it that way. Oz deems his task impossible, and has thus given up on it. Imho, none of this says that he unquestionably follows the Gods. Maybe he had more faith in the beginning, but by referring to his immortality a curse, he's basically insulting the GoL's task. Oz isn't as vindictive or as hateful towards them as Salem is (at least not yet, with v9 and all), but imo he's definitely not fond of them, or at least doesn't hold them in such high regard anymore. The only reason why he continued with his task in the first place is because he was already there with Salem. He doesn't exactly have a choice now, and now he's given up with it, just trying to keep the peace. And, if Jinn is as unreliable as a narrator as you say and the lost fable is from Oz's perspective, it paints the Brothers as petty and manipulative and changing their mind at the drop of a hat. The same is true in the fairytales (which I need to read in full, I currently only know a wiki summary so my knowledge is limited, I won't lie), which Ozpin helps create. I really don't think these things would exist if Oz worshipped them so thoroughly and unquestionably. It's very likely he sees them as petty and manipulative brothers whose fights result in needless death.

I'd talk more, but I don't want to make this ask too long 😅 I think your perspective is interesting, even though I don't agree with it. If/when you answer this, is it okay if I reblog so I can share my own perspective more? It's fine if not, I just like debating (in a friendly, respectful way ofc) different points like this. I really enjoy Oz as a character. He's far from perfect but I think he gets a bad rep, some of it just being different perspectives and others being completely unfair. No one can agree on him so I have fun reading lol

you’re fine—& if you want to rb with your own thoughts feel free.

to start with ozpin’s paranoia, aside from the obvious factor that he explicitly does not trust anyone in his own inner circle and justifies keeping secrets on the grounds that every ally is a betrayal waiting to happen: there is zero evidence that salem has been waging a sustained campaign against him ever since the collapse of the ozlem kingdom.

in the lost fable, ozma sees two beowolves attacking his settlement and assumes that salem must have sent them: jinn implies that he sees her hand behind every grimm, hence “her presence was always felt.”

but… not every grimm in the world is under salem’s control. we know this. the grimm that attack the argus express are not hers—they’re wild grimm drawn to the relic. salem had no knowledge of where the relic was or that oz had reincarnated until hazel told her. similarly, the leviathan that attacks argus later is attracted by cordovin (the WOR episode on grimm implies that grimm are drawn to violence and violent emotion specifically). she didn’t send the grimm of mountain glenn to vale; she sent cinder to kill a child on international television to incite mass hysteria that attracted grimm in huge numbers. and during her siege of atlas, it’s noted repeatedly that salem’s forces have not advanced, but wild stragglers are trickling into mantle, drawn by the fear in the crater.

so ozma, in assuming that salem is the mastermind orchestrating every grimm attack in the world, wildly overestimates her actual influence and blames her for the natural behavior of the grimm.

at the same time, over this period of time between their kingdom collapsing and the beginning of the story, ozma has been phenomenally successful in hiding salem’s existence from the world and erasing her from history. there used to be legends about her everywhere—the witch in the woods who commanded dark powers among the beasts and monsters—and those are gone. before ruby revealed her existence to the world, no one had the slightest idea that she existed.

the only way for ozma to bury her like that is if salem herself did not do anything to draw attention to herself and stayed very far away from civilization. ozma is just one person, and there are significant gaps in his presence and influence whenever he dies and reincarnates. there is no way he could have kept salem a secret if she periodically razed his cities to the ground or made overtures to groups like the white fang on a regular basis. what she’s done in the story isn’t a pattern of behavior: salem calls the fall of beacon her first move.

and then in v9? this happens:

SUMMER: You know how Ozpin gets. Mystery after mystery… TAIYANG: And when it turns out to be yet another run-of-the-mill patrol, it’ll be— BOTH: “I always preferred discretion!”

during summer’s time as a huntress, ozpin regularly sent her and her teammates on Urgent Top Secret Missions on short notice in the dead of night only for them to turn out to be… nothing. yet another run-of-the-mill patrol. ozpin was fighting a war that salem didn’t start to dignify with her participation until she met summer rose.

<- paranoid behavior.

but the real uh, meat of this is the zealotry.

to be clear, i think that before all the tragedy, both salem and ozma were religious and had faith in the brothers—i’ve written plenty about salem’s religiosity in the lost fable so i won’t belabor that point, but she believed in the gods until they shattered her faith by, you know, condemning her to eternal suffering because she worshipped both of them. and i see no reason to think that ozma didn’t have the same faith. the same flowers that salem brings as an offering to the god of light are hung up on the walls of their home; this was a religious household.

so. when the god of light wakes him up, ozma believes what light tells him without question—by which i mean, he literally does not ask questions. light says that humankind will rise again, a mere fraction of what their predecessors were, and that they if they are not changed when the brothers return, they will be judged irredeemable and obliterated. ozma does not question the truth or rightness of this premise. he’s frightened and sorrowful, but he doesn’t question the god of light’s implication that humankind, as it is now, does not deserve to exist and needs redemption.

his refusal is not predicated on a rejection of the mandate itself, and he’s very polite and respectful about it: “i’m sorry, but that world just isn’t as dear to me without her. if i may, i’d like to return to the afterlife to see salem.” ozma does not want to be the one to do this—but he accepts without question the idea that someone must, and he deliberately leaves the door open for the god of light to command him to do it (“if i may”). he’s a religious man; he’s prepared to do what his god asks of him, even as he hopes he that he won’t have to.

(the god of light absolutely manipulated him—and he used ozma’s faith, ozma’s belief in light’s benevolence and just nature, to do it.)

and once ozma reincarnates, he actually does heed the warning the god of light gave him: jinn notes that he travels for years, hearing rumors about “the witch” wherever he goes, before he gives in and decides that “he needed to see what she had become.” the god of light told him that the woman he loved was gone, and what was left of her would only bring him pain, and he believed that because, again, he had no reason not to…

…until he reunited with salem. that is when ozma began to experience doubts, because while salem had physically transformed, she was still herself. still the woman he loved. she still loved him. she hadn’t changed; they rebuilt her cottage together and lived happily. and that made him uncomfortable, because it cast doubt onto everything else the god of light had said to him. if light was wrong (or lying) about salem, what else did he lie about?

“though time passed and all seemed well, ozma’s conversation with the god of light still lingered in his mind. he had found happiness, but humanity seemed more divided than ever…”

the stakes could not be higher; the fate of the entire world is on ozma’s shoulders. in his heart of hearts, he knows salem, he wants to believe salem, but… if he trusts her and he’s wrong, the world will be condemned to annihilation. so he’s torn. he can’t stop worrying about it. how could the god of light be wrong? why would his god lie to him? but he’s happy with salem. but the world seems more divided than ever and it’s his responsibility to fix it. what’s the truth?

ozma is an intensely anxious person. he thinks fear is the one truly universal experience because he himself is afraid all the time. in the lost fable, he’s scared of the happiness he finds with salem because he cannot. stop. thinking. about the god of light saying “man will be found irredeemable and your world will be wiped from existence.” but he’s also too scared to tell salem the truth, or ask her for help, because the god of light also implicitly warned him that she was damned. he can’t bring himself to leave her, but he also can’t bring himself to believe her, and if she is damned then he wants to save her, too, not just the world.

so he carefully raises “humanity is divided” as a problem he would like to solve, without giving her any context, and when she answers “we can do that!” he decides to just… go along with her first suggestion in the hope that he can eventually ease her into accepting the rest of the divine mandate. because he loves her. because he’s terrified of losing her, and his faith in the god of light is in conflict with his love, and he tries desperately to square that circle by redeeming her.

which fails, because salem’s faith in the brothers shattered long ago and she sees them clearly as the monstrous tyrants they truly were—so she rejects the mandate entirely and asks ozma to reject it with her.

here is the part where my interpretation of ozma depends heavily on my interpretation of salem, because:

i do not think salem was proposing genocide; i think by “replace them” she meant “replace the gods who demand redemption,” in accordance with her longstanding ambition of overthrowing the brothers, and

i think ozma knew that.

frankly, in my opinion, this is the most charitable possible interpretation of what ozma does when salem holds out her hand because HE HESITATES. he looks at her hand, frowning, and then his eyes flick downward and to the side as his expression crumbles into indecision. ozma wants to take her hand. he wants to stay with her. so either salem said “let’s kill everyone!” and ozma a) seriously considered it for a moment and b) did not challenge that idea or demand an explanation from her, or… salem made her point clumsily but both she and ozma understood what she meant, and what she meant was “nothing the god of light told you matters anymore, the brothers aren’t here, why should we spend our lives trying to redeem these humans when we could make a paradise without the gods, like we planned?”

(since you’ve not read the fairytale anthology, i’ll note that “what they could never be” is a paraphrase of the closing lines of the shallow sea: “And the descendants of the Humans who turned away from our god’s great gift have always carried envy in their hearts. To this day, they resent us for reminding them of what they are not and what they never can be.” just as ozpin uses fairytales to make sense of his life and ease people into his conspiracy, i think salem quoted from this old oral tradition to express her opinion of the brothers; like the faunus in the story, she chose to leap into magical waters and was transformed into something new, and she believes that remnant has the potential to be the paradise the “old gods” failed to achieve. she’s implying that the brothers are envious of remnant and resent these humans—and her—for reminding them of their failures.)

then… you know, they murder each other and kill their children and raze their own kingdom to the ground. and ozma wakes up behind somebody else’s eyes, again. he sacrificed everything and it shattered him and now he has nothing left except the mandate.

was it worth it?

the answer is no. the answer is that this world isn’t as dear to him without salem, and if the only way to save the world is to lose her, he can’t do it. he doesn’t want to. until the end is his song. “to live free or die, it’s all the same/the enemy was right, there’s no reclaiming/in waves of shame/we’re desperate to make amends/but through a simple soul we lie complacent”—like. he knows salem is a person. he knows she’s right about the brothers. he wants to make amends, but he doesn’t believe he can, because the man fucking despises himself.

in his commentary on ‘the infinite man,’ ozpin describes the man—himself—as both a hero and a fool who made such grievous mistakes that to some he is a villain, and suggests that he may not be worthy of forgiveness. in ‘the girl in the tower,’ the character of ozma is simply called “the hero,” and in ozpin’s commentary he says that “if you look far enough ahead […] heroes may turn out to be villains.” he isn’t talking about salem. he’s talking about himself. he sees himself as the villain in her story, and taken as a whole ‘fairytales of remnant’ reads like a tortured apology to her more than anything; he closes with a story about humans breaking the sun and creating the moon, and in his commentary: “[people] not only replaced the sun, a celestial gift from the all-powerful god of light, but also improved upon it through their own ingenuity.”

he thinks it’s too late. if he could go back and do it again, he would take her hand, but the truth is that he didn’t, and he doesn’t believe she will ever forgive him. no second chances. nothing he can do to make amends. ozma’s mindset is that he made his choice and now he has to live with that forever.

and it’s unbearable. it’s torture.

after everything that happened, ozma clings to zealotry as a coping mechanism. in his heart of hearts, he has no real commitment to the mandate: he’s distorted it to be about salem. ozma sought the relics so he could use them to “destroy salem.” jinn told him he couldn’t; he proceeded to devote countless lifetimes to fighting an (imaginary) war against salem. he has No Plan. beacon academy is modeled after her father’s castle and ozma put his office in her tower! in her prison!!

his inner circle is a cult dedicated to the god of light and he built the academies as fortresses to safeguard his reliquaries forever and ever while he fights to protect the people of remnant from enemies like “panic” and “division” whom he represents with her face, her name, and the way he truly feels about All Of This is trapped. it’s been so long that he’s convinced himself that his lies are true—that she’s an inhuman monster who craves only death and revels in destruction—but he built her tower and locked himself inside.

ozpin lies to everyone. even himself. especially himself. the intensity of his guilt and regret drove him to weave an elaborate fantasy casting salem as the villain and himself as the fool destined to be her enemy, and he clings to it desperately because he has to believe that. he has to believe that she lied to him, too. he has to believe she’s the one who manipulated him. if it isn’t all her fault, if she isn’t the Great Evil, then his own choices have no justification.

the lying becomes so habitual, so ingrained that he lies without even thinking. why didn’t he tell the kids that the lamp might attract grimm? when they demand an answer on the train, ozpin freezes. he doesn’t have a real answer. he just… withheld vital information because that’s what he always does. a reflex.

the zealotry is of a piece with the lying. he had faith in the god of light—and he still believes that the gods will condemn and destroy the world if they’re summoned, and i think he believes it’s futile to fight them and that if salem tries they’ll crush her again, so he truly does not want her to try and he’s not lying when he claims she’ll bring about the end, because he believes that’s the only possible outcome of rebellion—and he believes himself to be beyond forgiveness. this is all he has, and the only way he can cope with that is… the fairytales. palliative fantasy. a story about a monster and the man destined to fight her. lifetime after lifetime until the lies seemed almost true.

ozma’s trauma is religious in nature. he’s a religious man who lost his faith a long time ago because his god is using him to punish salem and he hates himself because he fell for it, and now he thinks it’s too late. she’ll never forgive him. he can’t see a way out, so he clings ever harder to the mandate because it’s all he has and it gives him a shred of purpose in being her fated enemy. all he wants, all he’s everwanted, is to be with her, and if he hadn’t believed in his god when all of this began, they would have lived happily in her cottage forever.

all of which is to say, yeah, ozma does not hold the gods in high regard. his obedience does not come from reverence or love—he’s fucking terrified of them. the main difference between him and salem in their view of the gods is that she believes they can be resisted and beaten, and he does not. zealotry doesn’t require that he think the god of light is good or just, only that he obey. he’s still under light’s thumb even as it kills him inside, and he can’t escape until he stops lying to himself about what salem is.

bc she’s… not a monster. she didn’t lie to him, and she certainly didn’t manipulate by not… being able to read his mind when he hid things from her. she made it clear from the start that she wanted to replace the brothers and create a new, better world without them, and in the present all of her rage is directed at his deception and his cowardice in obeying the gods. what he did is not unforgivable. he can make amends, if he finds the courage to try. there is a door he can open to leave the tower. the first step is letting himself believe it’s possible.

(this is why it matters that he asks the kids to forgive him and give him a second chance in V8. ozma has never forgiven himself for anything and for lifetimes he’s believed himself to be irredeemable; not just recognizing the possibility but actively choosing to ASK for forgiveness was so important, and so necessary.)

#‘trust love’ is About Him

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