#uhh just warning kids if your schools progressive enough to change your name in their system and on your id collegeboard isnt

[wellijustfinnihedoneofthebooks]

Oh i should probably give context, i got kicked out for the name on my school id (which was actually my legal name at that point, i believe i got the name petition back that month) not matching up with the name i had to register for the test under (my deadname) so i got taken to a room off to the side where some poor guidance counselor had to call collegeboard to ask what to do. Lady on the phone was immediately sick of it, probably the most aggressively ive ever been misgendered, said i had to leave. Guidance counselor reluctantly told me to leave. I was the second student to get there, i left before the test even started.

Being turned away from every legal process imaginable has been kinda reminding me of that time i got kicked out of the SAT for being trans, and like man, has that happened to anyone else? Like is that just something that routinely happens to us but gets no media coverage or am i just the unluckiest person on the planet?

[woozisnoots]

light up kicks | lee chan

° pairing: chan x reader ° genre: fluff ° summary: an unexpected ‘visit’ at chan’s first day at work. ° word count: 1153 ° warning: none! ° a/n: thank you to @cha-lan​ and @interludeshadow​ for beta reading !! biggest hugs and kisses to you both <3 and hbd to the one and only lee chan B)

masterlist!

okay, it’s your first day. obviously, they don’t expect you to be perfect. but then again, you’re also just passing out shoes… so leave little room for error or else that would be so, very incredibly embarrassing. like, come on? what can possibly go wrong?

it was wrong for chan to think that friday night would be anything other than busy. as a first-timer handing out shoes (really his first time working at all), chan was not prepared to work one of the hardest shifts on his first day.

kim’s bowling stones is known all throughout town, and better yet - they’re notorious for their mind-blowing, great deals. on fridays, every kid and teen come from far and wide to experience one hour of bowling for unlimited tokens at their arcade.

and not only are every mother and uncle get lured in by such an offer, but also a certain someone chan isn’t expecting to see.

“can i have size six shoes, please?”

spoke too soon. not to jinx it, but- everything might go wrong.

chan mentally smacks the back of his head. duh, of course, you’re gonna be here! he isn’t as much of a bowling fanatic as his coworkers, but as cliche as it sounds - and yes, it makes many people laugh, chan landed this job because of you.

well, maybe not directly. you didn’t know chan at all. the times chan could go out with his friends on the weekend were always spent at the bowling alley out of convenience. none of his other friends knew how to drive, and chan avoided the freeway as much as possible for his “passengers’ safety.” the place was only about three blocks away from his house anyways.

yes, chan knows of you, but he doesn’t know enough about you to think you’d also be there. and the day after, and the day after that. no, each passing day doesn’t help him to get used to you within a few feet away when he was used to being a few meters from where you stood up in the ‘cool kid table’ as people would call it.

tonight is also no exception; it doesn’t make things easier. in this moment, chan could feel the beads of sweat forming on the corners of his hairline and the calluses on his hands from gripping under the counter too hard.

wait fuck, did i ever respond back?

“oh yeah!” chan’s voice suddenly changes, lowering his tone. he ruffles his bangs forward to cover his forehead, mostly in an attempt to distract you from how awkward his stature is, not at all to try and make himself look good now that you’re up close. “i’ll go get that from the back for you.”

now, this may not seem like a big deal  to anyone else, but to chan, it means everything. in every coming-of-age teenage movie, the not-so-popular nerd (whichever breed they may be) ends up with the astonishingly popular main lead—the one everyone knows and loves—so this is chan’s moment!

chan comes back, hands clammy and wet, hoping that none of the residue transferred to the actual shoes. “here ya go!”

okay, maybe the moment is a little more short-lived than chan expected, but this is a good start.

that is until he hears the light tone of your voice come back in hesitation, rather than the thank you he’d been expecting.

“uhh, chan?” this is the first time hearing his name fall from of your mouth, and now he’s embarrassed for two reasons, not knowing which one is worse.

however, the responsible side of his right hemisphere steps up first. “oh shoot, is that not the color you wanted?” chan says, clearly aware that he knows the ins and outs of the small shoe rack corner of the entire facility. “dammit, i should have known. i’ve seen you play a few rounds on the weekends before, and i- i don’t mean to sound at all creepy, but you actually prefer the light up purple shoes over the blue ones.” as soon as the words leave his mouth, chan already knows he’s said way too much. after only a few minutes, your first impression of chan probably resembles that of a creep. “sorry about that! let me just-”

“no, that’s not it all!” you’re quick to say, noticing the distressed, flustered look on his face. “the color is lovely. it’s  just that-” chan prepares for the worst, even though at this point, he already bears the weight of this unfortunate incident. “i think you gave me the kid’s sizes instead.”

yup, everything is definitely going wrong.

“i am so sorry! i’ll go ahead and change those out for you.”

stupid. stupid. stupid.

nothing more as embarrassing than when it happens in front of your crush. that’s not an actual saying, though it sure as hell should be. from the back of the storage room, chan grieves the deepest of sighs and slumps his head on the nearest cabinet.

“here you go, i got you the purple ones to make up for it,” chan shyly nudges the shoes towards you, keeping his head down so his bangs at least hide the tips of eyelashes. out of all the things that could have happened, today just isn’t chan’s day.

“thank you very much,” you say with a smile and a nod to the head. thank goodness you are alone at the booth—who knows what rumours would have started to circulate at school if anyone had seen this unfold.

chan watches as you carefully sort your things and proceed to grab the shoes from the booth. he holds in the heavy sigh at the back of his throat when he sees you turn your head back towards him.

“if giving me a smaller pair of shoes is your way of telling me that you think i’m cute,” chan almost laughs at the statement; not at you, of course. this isn’t exactly the stop-motion, picture-perfect confession episode of iCarly he longed it to be. “i think you’re also pretty handsome.”

chan barely manages to save his hand from slipping off the counter, placing his free hand at the edge to catch his balance after hearing your words. his surroundings are disoriented at this point, alongside his peripherals, which are now starting to blur. shaking his head, chan babbles incoherent sentences to no one in particular, realizing you were no longer there, leaving him to rethink and sort out his thoughts.

scratch that, maybe everything just turned out right?

the job slows down as the night progresses, but you remain there until late. even in the midst of massive crowds of needy children and demanding parents, chan notices the subtle, stolen glances from across the bowling aisle. and again from the skee ball machine. then one last time at the exit, along with a smirk and a wink.

yeah. yeah, i think it did.

[twilightvolt]

Twilight Thoughts (BEASTARS Episode 5)

WARNING: SPOILERS IMMINENT FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO’RE DECIDING TO WAIT FOR NETFLIX TO RELEASE THE SHOW FROM PRISON. But hey, if you don’t mind, then let’s get this show on the road!

Episode 5: GoodboigoodboigoODBOIGOODBOI-

Finally we get some lighthearted fluffy stuff after what had happened the past episode or two. ESPECIALLY last episode. goodness, if episode 4 was the craziest episode, episode 5 has to be, like, the cutest. although there was some crazy shiz going on while Legoshi wasn’t around.

- First off,

Jack.

I luv him. bless this wholesome labrador retriever.

It may have been, like, 4 episodes in, but i’m happy he finally has more to say cuz i really wanted to see more of him considering he’s Legoshi’s best bud and i was sad he didn’t get much screen time aside from the hot minute he was in in the second episode. you get to see the dynamic between them and i can tell right off the bat just how close they are. i mean, he cared enough to bring him lunch in the empty pool while he hides from his classmates and knew right away that what he did on stage during the previous episode wasn’t acting at all.

Also when he was following Legoshi as he speedwalks his depressed butt to class, he was onto him that he did what he did out of love and tried to guess who he liked out loud. like, really loudly. like, the kids they passed by in the halls were staring. and i was dying but also thinking “Good lord, if we went to the same school, my friend Gao would TOTALLY do this to me. lmao”

- C....can we talk about what happened during that in the meantime?

I saw Haru and was like “Ok, looks like she’s gonna do it with another gu-”

*Sees a familiar hand reach out to her*

“....No.......n O .”

*Hears the start of Persona 3′s Mass Destruction blaring in the distance*

LOUIS NO PUT THAT TIE BACK ON WHAT IS HAPPENING WHA-

Like seriously, i did NOT see that coming. i mean i could’ve put two and two together considering Haru’s supposedly slept with a ton of different guys and Louis is popular so i can see them already knowing each other. but when i saw that i wasn’t thinking about that. why? cUZ IT WAS FRIKKIN’ OUTTA THE BLUE, THAT’S WHY.

I can already tell there’s gonna be....maybe not necessarily a love triangle, but Legoshi’s gonna find out sooner or later and i can imagine there’s gonna be something coming out of this.

Speaking of which,

The second half of the episode is basically snippets of things followed by Legoshi and Haru’s uhh....pseudo first date. like, it’s not a date, but it feels like one tbh. we’ll get to that in a bit.

- About those snippets, there’s apparently some weird annual fur cutting day. probably cuz all the animals with fur are....well, furry. i find it funny the guys in Legoshi’s dorm decided to do it outside rather than in their room cuz y’know....they gotta do it in their underwear. ^  ^’

- Ok, i know there’s a TON of cute, upbeat things in this episode, but as i’ve quickly learned the past few episodes, it’s not BEASTARS without angst. Legoshi, after the events of the play, gained a sorta.....negative reputation of sorts. like, the school newspaper of course twisted it to hell and back, but that didn’t change the fact that him snapping on stage was kinda terrifying. and although Louis played it off to the press like it was intentional, deep down Legoshi knows what he did was stupid. and he beats himself up for it for the majority of the episode. heck, one of the stage crew even blurts out that one of their members is essentially making things kinda awkward now. news flash dude, even if you don’t state their name, he’s not THAT stupid. he can tell you’re talking about him. and ngl that was kinda rude.

After all this, i feel bad for him despite knowing he did something stupid. which is exactly my point. he’s an introvert. and coming from experience, when we introverts do something stupid, we feel like absolute garbo and wanna crawl back into our corner. the one time he tries to stand up for himself and take action, he screws up horribly. and while this is a stepping stone to break out of his shell....it hurts. and i can totally understand that all too well. *remembers that time i blurted something self deprecating out on stage at EMCon’s cosplay contest years ago*

But hey, at least Jack is still supportive of him despite where things went. he’s a good friend.

- Bunny bish and her sunshine gang from the first episode is back and i still hate her. but....i kinda wanna know how her relationship with Haru got so bad to begin with. there’s gotta be something more there than just petty love stuff, right? like, every character i’ve seen in this show was sort of a usual trope, but when it progressed, i realized they’re not the complete trope, just bits of various tropes put together and it makes each character unique (for example, Legoshi is the big softie but with parts of the shy nerd and/or wallflower mixed in). THIS bish is the most stereotypical thing in this show so far. and honestly, i am not convinced that’s all there is to her.

- Ok, now onto the “first date.”

....IT WAS ADORABLE.

Like, it’s super awkward cuz neither of them could really get past their thoughts, but it was super believable and cute and i don’t normally say this much when watching anime bUT I SHIP IT LIKE FEDEX.

To elaborate, Haru can’t get past her innate herbivore instincts telling her to run from him, while poor Legoshi is so nervous that he can’t even ask her for her name! you would think after that last episode, he’d become a bit more outgoing. but nope! still the same dorky teenage wolf as ever. guess change can’t happen THAT fast, amirite? XD

At some point, i think they start thinking it just can’t work out between them. at least, it sounded like Haru was friendzoning him right from the start.

but eventually as they return to their dorms, he bends down to help her and their eyes meet and i was like “k I S S  K I S S  F A L L  I N  L U V--no seriously, kiss.” even though i knew very well that it’s far too soon for that. lmao then they finally exchange names and he says to himself “If it means i get to see your eyes again, i’ll get my tail dirty any day.” and i was like OW MY HEART. <3

This episode was a much needed breather after the Play Arc ngl. i hope to see y’all again after Episode 6! ^  ^