#ugh i have to gif videos for you. but like. i effort.

[lunagojo]

Various Anime Boys: Being Told "I love you" For the First Time (Part 3!)

a/n: A late Valentine's Day gift for you all <3 Hope you all enjoy!

Featuring: Tomura Shigaraki, Yuuji Itadori, Shoto Todoroki, & Bakugou Katsuki

Warnings: Tomura being...Tomura, Endeavour being a jerk

~Part 1~ ~Part 2~ ~ Part 4 ~ ~ Part 5 ~

Tomura Shigaraki

“Ugh, I’m not a baby. You go on to bed. I gotta get to level 60.” Tomura whined, grumbling as he thumbed at his controller.

“You’re gonna collapse from exhaustion, Tomu.” You replied, folding your arms.

The villain snorted, his eyes still fixed on the television screen. An RPG was what he was playing, of course. One of his favourites. “You sound like Kurogiri.”

With a huff, you walked over to him and maneuvered yourself into his lap, wrapping your arms and legs around him. He grunted and muttered a few choice words as you did so, but didn’t push you away. He readjusted himself and then continued to play his game.

“…You’re so clingy, you know that, right?” Tomura stated, his eyes narrowing.

“Mhmm. I know.” You replied. “If you aren’t gonna come to bed and cuddle me then I guess I should just cuddle you here.”

“You’re just gonna fall asleep and I’m gonna have to carry you to bed eventually.” He sighed, shivering a little as you nuzzled at his shoulder. “Fuck, I lost.” He grumbled, pursing his chapped lips.

“You’ll get it next time, Tomu.” You assured, running your hands along his back slowly.

“You’re distracting me.”

“Oh am I? The greatest villain in all of Japan getting distracted by little old me?” You batted your eyes at him playfully.

“Shut up,” He said back, but there was no malice in his voice. A small amount of pink had crept into his cheeks. You both fell into a comfortable silence then, the only sound being the effects coming from Tomura’s video game.

A few minutes passed like that until you murmured, “Tomu.”

“Hm.”

“I love you, I hope you know that.”

The ‘Game Over’ sound rang out from the TV. He had stopped playing, sitting stiffly after you said that. A part of him thought he had misheard you. How, how could you love someone like him? You were an angel to him, so kind and patient and caring…you wanted what was best for him.

“Tomu?” You asked, looking up at him.

He glanced back down at you before sighing, finally wrapping his arms around you and letting go of the controller. “Dunno how.” He uttered at last, but then pressed a gentle kiss to your head. “…I love you too, weirdo. Now let’s go to bed.”

Yuuji Itadori

Watching movies with Yuuji was something that never got old, he always made it an event with you. Fridays were designated movie nights, and he went all out, every single time. Yuuji would go buy snacks, rent multiple movies, and set up a pillow fort, each and every time. You didn’t have to lift a single finger.

“C’mon, Y/N! It’s movie night!” He called to you, dragging you by the hand into the basement. Your heart melted at the sight of all the effort he had gone to just to make this a fun evening for you both. As you two snuggled up together under the pillow fort, which was smaller than usual (so you two were smooshed up against each other). Of course, one of the movies HAD to feature Jennifer Lawrence.

You rested your head against Yuuji’s chest, hearing his heart beat soundly in his chest. He had a wide, peaceful smile on his face, his eyes fixed on the screen. His arm was wrapped around you firmly. If anyone had seen you two like this, they would have immediately assumed that you two were together. But you were just friends…right? He was cute and kind and silly…and he was so sweet to you, he cared about you. And you didn’t notice how his gazes lingered on you, how his smile grew wider when you were around, how he laughed harder when he was near you.

The movie ended and you made to get up and put the next one into the DVD player, but Yuuji grumbled and held you tightly to him. “No, not yet.” He said softly. “S’cold without you.”

“Yuuji…”

“Please?” He looked at you with his patented puppy dog eyes, a small pout forming on his lips.

“Okay.” You conceded, lying back down beside him. He nuzzled into your hair, closing his eyes.

A wave of emotion came over you suddenly. You didn’t want anybody else to see him like this, to hold him like this. Before you could think, you said: “Yuuji, I love you.”

His eyes snapped open and he lifted his head, his eyebrows rising. “Huh? Did I hear that right? You mean it??”

You blushed, nodding. “Mhmm. I’ve loved you for a long time and…I don’t know, I guess I just can’t hold it in any longer.”

His lips spread into a giddy, happy grin, his arms snaking around you and pulling you close to him again. His lips brushed your forehead as he muttered back, “I love you, too, Y/N. I always have.”

Shoto Todoroki

“I’m sorry about that whole…thing,” Shoto said quietly as he walked you home. You had been invited by Fuyumi to have dinner with the Todorokis, and it had not been a very pleasant event. Endeavour wasn’t exactly the most welcoming toward you, seeing his son’s interest in you. He didn’t think you’d be a good match, considering your quirk was not something that he considered to be powerful.

“It’s okay, Sho.” You tried to assure him, giving him a wary smile. “Your sister is an amazing cook, and Natsuo’s so funny!” You attempted to assuage his worries, purposely avoiding mentioning his father.

Shoto glanced at you, his hands in his pockets. “My dad, though…”

“Like I said, it’s fine, Sho.”

“No it isn’t. It isn’t fine to me. I won’t have him trying to control who I spend time with, especially when he doesn’t even know you.” He looked down at his shoes, “He doesn’t know how wonderful you are.”

You felt heat creep up into your cheeks at that statement as you two rounded the corner to your street. “Here, it’s dark. Hold my hand,” Shoto offered, taking your hand in his. You were on his hot side, so his palm and fingers were warm to the touch. But his grip was soft and gentle.

You walked a few houses down until you reached your door. Stopping out front, Shoto reluctantly let go of your hand, watching as you got out your house keys.

“Um…I’ll see you later, then, Y/N. I’m sorry again.” He turned, making to head off into the night.

“Wait, Sho?”

He paused, turning back to look at you.

You smiled, “I love you.”

His eyes widened, a heavy blush spreading across his cheeks. He didn’t even realize that he was walking toward you until you were right in front of him and his lips were on yours. To see his family, to not be afraid of what his father had to say, to still love him regardless…he couldn’t let you go, now.

Breaking the kiss at last, he smiled tenderly at you. “I love you, too.”

Katsuki Bakugou

"Stupid dumbass idiot extras don't know a good fuckin' hero when they see one." Katuski grumbled as he walked into your room. He was still decked out in his hero gear, though he was a bit scuffed up. You were perched on your bed, eyebrows rising as he flopped down on a nearby chair.

"I take it the rescue didn't go all that well?" You asked, canting your head.

"Nah, it went fine. We saved everyone, but of course shitty Deku and Icy Hot got all the admiration n' credit. Everyone keeps sayin' I'm too fuckin' aggressive or something." He huffed, throwing off his gauntlets.

"Really? You're too aggressive?" You asked sarcastically, resting your cheek in your hand.

"Shut up, dumbass." He barked back quickly. "M'not in the mood for your attitude."

"Katsuki...do you ever think that maybe hero work isn't always about being admired or fawned over? D'ya think maybe that it's actually about SAVING people?" You rolled off your bed, going to stand beside him.

He didn't say anything back.

You sighed, shoulders slumping. "Why are you even here, Kats? You have your own dorm room."

"...Wanted to fuckin' see you."

You put your hand to his forehead. "Hmm, are you feeling alright? Did I just hear that correctly? You wanted to see me?"

"Don't make me say it again, dumbass." He snapped, swatting your hand away.

You knelt down, your expression softening as you removed his eye mask. "For the record, I think you're a great hero, Kats." You told him, smiling.

"You're just sayin' that." He grumbled in reply, but the slightest tinge of pink was in his cheeks.

"No, I mean it," You said.

"You don't have to put up with my shit, y'know," He said suddenly, looking down. "I dunno why you stick around with me."

"Because I love you, Kats." You replied quickly, not realizing that you had just admitted your feelings for him.

He blinked at you, his red eyes wide. "What the fuck did you just say?!"

"I--uhhh..." You went scarlet and swallowed, your mouth dry suddenly. You didn't get much of a chance to say anything further, because Katsuki grabbed your face and pulled you into a tender (but a bit rough) kiss.

"Wha..." You gasped when you broke away.

He rolled his eyes. "...Damn, I love you, too, stupid." His words were harsh, but his voice was soft and the tips of his ears were red. "Though I wish you woulda waited until I wasn't a fuckin' mess to tell me."

[reel-fear]

one day I'll snap and write a 234 page essay on why BATDR's ink demon is one of the worst character designs I have genuinely ever seen and how while I'm sure they're well intentioned. People who defend it or say its better than the og are genuine proof that most ppl are NOT qualified to speak on what makes good character design.

Hell maybe I'll even make it a video essay but dear god seeing Mike slander the hell out of batim ink demon while acting like the new one is SO much better like SHUT UP SHUT UP YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU ARE NOT QUALIFIED TO SPEAK ON THIS STOP PRETENDING YOU ARE!! STOP BEING SO CONFIDENTLY WRONG AND STUPID ABOUT THINGS YOU HAVE NOT STUDIED EVEN THE BASIC FUNDAMENTALS OF

YOU COULDNT EVEN ANIMATE HIM CROUCHING THAT'S HOW POORLY YOU DESIGNED HIM. HE HAS TO TRIP OVER HIMSELF AND HOLD OUT HIS ARM TO PREVENT HIMSELF FROM EATING SHIT IN OUR BIG DRAMATIC CUTSCENE BEFORE THE CLIMAX.

Genuinely if you have a character design and you cannot animate it Crouching/Kneeling/Leaning Over without it looking unnatural or stupid. Go straight back to the drafts and do some anatomy studies. The basics of art of anatomy of character design are important to understand and this design fails all of them. They didn't even give him digigrade legs THATS NOT HOW DIGIGRADE LEGS WORK, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW HOW I LEARNED DIGIGRADE LEGS AS A KID? I LOOKED IT UP ON FUCKING GOOGLE AND STUDIED HOW MY CAT WALKS. ANYONE WHO HAS DONE EVEN THE MOST BASIC OF STUDIES ON DIGIGRADE LEGS KNOWS THATS NOT HOW THEY WORK. HERES A GRAPH-

This is rough cause I didn't want to make anything too elaborate for a random tumblr post, but genuinely I hope you can feel the struggle as I attempt to pose these legs in a way that SHOULD be natural for digigrade legs. But the hoof isn't able to move on it's own [think like how your ankles can move and rotate your foot] so they just follow the legs rotation in a way that is so stupid looking.

The joints are evenly space out so it looks horrifying and I mean just look at this mess! I couldn't even draw him raising his foot or SITTING in a way that looked natural anyone who has so much as looked up "digigrade legs tutorial" or "Mlp hindlegs tutorial" knows this is WRONG. This is the BASICS the FUNDAMENTALS and yet they got it all wrong showing Mike and Meatly haven't so much as gone through the effort of a god damn anatomy study before rushing to make this design and declare the best god damn creature design ever seen. Embarassing UGH-

[envihellbender]

VIVISECTION COMMITTED TO A CUTE BOY

Characters: Innocence (Avatar to the Slaughter), Carlin (OCs)

Verse: The Magnus Archives

Content: extreme gore

Innocence put a lot of work and effort into their production. The intro music, for example, was a deceptively simple tune - it was important that it stuck into the minds of everyone who heard it. However, it also had to be impossible to mimic, Innocence had an Aerophone AE-10 that they loved that they perfected the sound on. It was almost like the traditional bagpipes, but not quite. It was more upbeat and thus cuter, that was particularly important. Everything Innocence did was about aesthetics, down to their military uniform and pins in their long blond hair.

They spent hours setting up each streaming set, and of course each instrument used was state of the art or specially built. They whistled as they made sure everything was in place, when they were adjusting their ring light and all they could hear was yelling and screaming was when their smile started to falter. They turned to their co-star and scowled. The young man they’d chosen was extremely pretty, his best feature was his lips which were unfortunately hidden by duct tape for the time being. His eyelashes were thick, and his curls were dishevelled and had a week’s worth of greasy clinging to them. He’d been a model, and his starved body wasn’t doing much to help him now. Innocence wrapped the young man on his knuckles with their favourite iridescent scalpel whilst tutting.

“I’m trying to focus. I really don’t wanna cut your tongue out … but if I have to I will, even if it ruins the show,” they said before sticking their tongue out. The young man screamed again and as a result Innocence shoved the scalpel into his mouth in one swift movement. The edge cut open the roof of his mouth and the sharp point hit his uvula. He let out a whining whimper and Innocence raised their eyebrows as he did. “Are you going to behave?” He nodded. Innocence quickly pulled the scalpel from his mouth and sighed in annoyance. “Ugh. Stop bleeding. We’ve not started yet.” The young man spluttered as the blood from his mouth seemed to recede from its wound, pooling and congealing around his tongue. Innocence finished setting up the lights and camera, cleared their throat and began.

“Hiiiiiiii!” Innocence sang into the lense, their hands making a heart into the camera as they bat their eyelashes, with stars drawn on their cheeks in black eyeliner. They lowered their hands and then pressed their index fingers together. “So many new subscribers to our exclusive little club! Thank you so much to everyone who’s got the word out! Every link shared really helps me to make more content!

“Today we’re doing something a little different, I know you usually get to see me work on a group, but today I’m going to focus all my efforts on this one boy in particular,” Innocence said. They spun round and faced the second camera that was pointed directly at their co-star. His naked thin torso had lines of black marker drawn on him. They were more for appearances than anything else, Innocence knew instinctively where to cut and didn’t need a guide. “So, every day to celebrate spooky month, I’m going to perform a live vivisection on a new performer!”

“It’s okay, you don’t need to do anything. You just need to lie there and look pretty,” Innocence said in response to Carlin’s spluttering. “To begin with we have this young man, sorry his gag is torn up, monsters, he couldn’t stop yapping.” Innocence giggled and slipped out their iridescent scalpel with daisies clipped to the handle from their coat pocket. They rested the blade on the model’s Adam’s apple before ripping the gag from his mouth. “Some of you more eagle eyed viewers might recognise him from his cute AF TikTok videos or London Fashion week! It’s Carlin Rider, owner of the best lips and eyelashes in the business. I bet his organs are even cuter! Which one first, monsters?” Innocence looked up to a screen off camera and grinned.

“Intestines? So early in the game? Don’t be silly!! Those are going to be much later-” Carlin began to yell again causing Innocence to sigh and roll their eyes. They stared at their lips and mentally filled Carlin’s mouth with blood until he spluttered and whimpered. “Sorry monsters, we’ve got a chatterbox today! I think that answers our question though. He can’t talk if he’s missing his larynx!” Innocence spun their scalpel over their fingers and cut a smooth straight line from the bottom of Carlin’s chin to the space between his collar bones. Innocence then carefully slipped their fingers into his wounds and expertly pulled his larynx out, blood spurted from Carlin’s throat almost like a comical fountain. “Told ya! Look how cute that is!” Innocence said triumphantly, posing in front of the camera with it. “That’ll keep him quiet, look at this pretty brown eyes! Looking around the room so desperate for help.” Innocence stroked Carlin’s curls, he gasped silently and shook his head desperately trying to resist Innocence’s touch. They held the larynx up to the camera again this time turning it this way and that so the viewers could get a good look at it. Carlin was starting to grow pale and weak, Innocence exhaled in annoyance.

“Oh my, thought he was stronger than that.” They spun on their heel and returned to their desk, picked up their Aerophone and played the similar tune. The result was the wound on Carlin’s throat sewed itself back up without the larynx and colour and life began to return to his face. Innocence gleefully ran their fingers down his throat. “Sooooo pretty. I did such a good job. You can barely tell it’s gone.” Carlin opened his mouth as he attempted to respond, a croaking, quiet, and desperate gasp being all that left his mouth. Tears began falling down his temples and pooling by his ears.

“Good boy. Precious baby. Isn’t he a cutie everyone,” Innocence said, flicking their hair behind one shoulder, a couple of strands getting caught in their military jacket’s shoulder pads. “Next we’re gonna dooooo… Hmm, aw heck let’s take out a portion of is intestines. As a special treat for everyone sitting at home.” Innocence winked deliberately at the camera. They took out the same iridescent scalpel they’d used to open his throat and licked it clean. It didn’t matter if Carlin got an infection, that always made the future streams way more interesting. They pressed the scalpel into Carlin’s pale torso, and wriggled it into his guts. They had a little bit of a dig around until they found a nice thick bit of intestines and snipped it from the rest of them, giggling as Carlin silently screamed, unable to make a noise, and bled out. The yellow fat from his small belly dripped out making Innocence gasp in delight. They held up the bit of Carlin’s guts to the camera and twirled it around. “How pretty are his organs?! I love them. I’m definitely gonna cut up this cutie again. I might even have him long term. Wouldn’t that be fun, monsters?”

Innocence took a bite down on the intestines and sucked the blood and digested food out of the organ.

“Well, if we’re gonna get this babe done by the end of the day we better get going, huh?” Innocence sang, then flicked a peace sign at the camera with a grin.

[fatefulfaerie]

Thanks for the tag @tired-twili !!!

I Forgot The Title Of This Ask Game But Here We Go

What Book Are You Currently Reading?

Relationship OCD: A CBT Guide To Move Beyond Obsessive Doubt, Anxiety, And Fear Of Commitment In Romantic Relationships (to call myself out oof)

What’s your favorite movie you saw in theaters this year?

Hold on I forget what came out this year I need to Google.

Okay probably Sonic 2 because video game movies being a positive experience makes me hopeful and Dr. Strange writers literally dumping my girl Wanda in the trash physically hurts me.

What do you usually wear:

Either something really comfy with very little effort or something really fancy with a lot of effort there’s no in between

How tall are you?

5’4”

What is your star sign?

Aries!

Do you go by your name or a nick name?

I usually go by a nickname because my birth name is aggressively long. (Thanks parents)

Did you grow up to be what you wanted to be when you were a child?

It’s hard for me to imagine BEING something since I’m still in grad school but when I was little I did want to be an author!!

Are you in a relationship?

Yes! I’m in a long distance relationship with a Zelda speedrunner with the username K_Grovyle. We met at the Zelda Dungeon Marathon in July and have been getting to know each other since. He’s so cute and I love him lots ❤️ We also get to reunite in a few days!

What’s something you’re good at versus something you’re bad at?

I’m good at writing sometimes I guess? And I’m bad at calming my anxiety but I’m working on it

Cats or dogs?

Babyyyyy goop

What’s your favorite line from something you created this year?

For a fleeting moment, it was like they were back in Hyrule, no caves, no ruins, no blood on the walls, no fear in his heart. It was like the sun had shone and set, had risen golden and amber like a million worthless, precious days that had once marked their happy ending, their happy, joyous beginning of a future.

What’s something you’d like to create content for?

Star Wars! It’s just kind of intimidating…

What’s something you’re currently obsessed with?

I’m kind of in between obsessions? I just finished season 8 of Stargate SG-1 which is the last season that counts and soon I’ll be watching ATLA for the first time so maybe I’ll be obsessed with that?

What’s something you were excited about this year that turned out to be disappointing?

Ugh

Doctor Strange: Multiverse of Madness

If you want me to do a full rant send me an ask

What’s a hidden talent of yours?

Uhh how would I know if it’s hidden?

Are you religious?

Eh not really. I was raised Christian and hold to some Christian values like caring about other people but otherwise it’s a lot of blind faith and homophobia for some reason so nah

Anyone who wants to do this, go ahead!!

[ageless-aislynn]

...but ya girl here has learned every one of these skips in my effort to get my Legendary time for Reach under 3 hours. Every one of these... except that DANG MASS DRIVER SKIP GAHHHHH. I cannot get the timing down. I've tried 3 different variations, one using a drop shield, one adding a grenade jump (great way to blow your shields off then shoot yourself with a concussion rifle, lol) and a ton of adjustments on jumping from that railing facing different directions, etc. Ugh.

The firefight section is just too long to not skip. If I can just get up there once and clear everything, I can actually get through the next section (that the second mass driver jump skips) by doing an absolutely mad YOLO run straight through the building, right at the Field Marshal with the fuel rod gun, and get to the stairs to trigger the end section to start. Then I hide from everybody and wait for the cue to shoot the Covvie ship.

But I just can't fight out that firefight section in less than, like, an hour. Par time for the entire level is 20 minutes soooooo...

Update! I made the jump for the first time, woo-hoo! Granted, this was after more than an hour of practice fails and then I immediately forgot which way to turn to do the second jump and got absolutely smoked by a really super rude Grunt. Hey, man, I just made that jump after a lot of practice and you shoot me down? SUPER RUDE. 😂😉

I was able to record this from the theater, (Georgette's Game Bar actually does work 🤷‍♀️😉) now to see if I can pop the unedited video into Ezgif and trim it down from there... (Still don't have Vegas so can't edit it first like I normally would have.)

Nope, had to use a site called VideoCandy to edit the video down small enough to get it into Ezgif, hence, the watermark on it. 😉Also, please pardon the fact I have my night vision on, I forgot to turn it off from the section before and so I respawn to the checkpoint with it on each try. 🤷‍♀️

SUCCESS!

IMMEDIATE FAILURE! 😂😂😂

Anyway, I was just excited to finally make that jump, now to perfect it so it can help me get my time down! 💖💖💖

[youremyheaven]

In Claire's video about wealth in astrology, she mentioned that Jyeshta was prominent among billionaires even though Jyeshta's deity is Nirriti and associated with poverty and lack. I truly believe that every nakshatra and planet and house is full of paradoxes and contradictions because that's the nature of life. Since Jyeshta is associated with depletion (and the Moon is debilitated in Scorpio/Jyeshta) I feel like the natives who have this placement have the ability to cultivate that much abundance since they're empty in a sense to begin with. If they had placements that made them "full" so to speak, they wouldn't go on to be billionaires. it's that lack or emptiness that allows them to accumulate so much (literally). Same with a debilitated Mercury, I know several people irl who have Mercury in Pisces (including family members) and they all have a very unconventional way of thinking and processing information, ive felt like some of them could be on the adhd spectrum but I do think an exalted Mercury which would be Mercury in Virgo points to a organised, methodical way of thinking and doing but this conventional approach is not necessarily innovative or groundbreaking, it just means you're good at getting things done efficiently, a debilitated Mercury probably makes the native take other longer routes to get to any conclusion but Pisces is literally one of the most creative nakshatras and it rules the 12h, so the natives process things through intuition or inner knowing that is different from conventional learnt and taught knowledge. Einstein was thought to be unintelligent when he was in school and I think they even tried to kick him out (or he dropped out I'm not sure) but clearly he was smart, he just took a longer time to learn how to express his intelligence.

just my 2 cents hehe but glad u pointed this out cause there's a lot of fearmongering in the astro community over certain naks and placements ugh

edit: I just realised that even a debilitated Saturn is like this in the sense that it's not that the native who has the placement is lazy, it's just that they work too hard/over exert themselves because they don't know how to do it in an easier way /the easier way is not accessible to them so they have to take the hard path. If anything, they work twice or thrice as hard as others to get the same things done. An exalted Saturn means you know how to exert yourself proportionately and in a way where skills match effort.

Crazy how a lot of powerful/influential people had weak planets... The craziest one to me still is Albert Einstein. Dude had Mercury in Uttarabhadrapada (debilitated ass Mercury 💀), Moon in Scorpio (also debilitated). These two planets rule the MIND and INTELLIGENCE. Leonardo Da Vinci also had Mercury in Revati for two possible birthdays (April 23rd and 14th) and also Mercury in Uttarabhadrapada for the common birthday (April 15th). He still likely had Mercury in Pisces FOR FUCK'S SAKE. So for every astrologer that made me shit my pants for potentially having my Mercury in the 12H; I wish them a very big fuck you cause this is my validation rn LIKE COME ONNN MAN LOOK AT THE GENIUSES!!

(...... they did have possible ADHD though which does come with this Pisces placement)

Also KRSchannel mentioned that debilitated Venus natives (Venus in the 6H/Virgo) tend to be very visually stunning and attractive -- may also attract a lot of attention -- or they can just be driven by beauty.

Beyonce has Venus in Virgo.

Beyonce ALSO has debilitated Mars, literally in Pushya. And she was one of the GREATEST performers alive, still is. Mars rules movement, control & energy. And she used to be widely known for her energetic performances.

Also Rihanna is a bad bitch and a billionaire business woman which means she's had to work hard and had confidence in herself to get to where she is now. And she has Sun in the 12H, SUN IN AQUARIUS which is a detriment placement. A very very weak Sun. Yet... 💀

Sorry but debilitated & weak planets can be powerful. It's why a lot of influential people have Moon in the 12H (as the 12H is pretty much the collective's consciousness). Like I just saw a fear-mongering, negative post concerning weak planets and tbh nothing is ever or will ever be set in stone lmao.

[allfattenedup]

I've been in problem-solving mode the last few weeks, trying to figure out what to do for my content going forward. If you're a follower or supporter of any kind, I'd really like you to read this, and I've put some gifs throughout as little rewards for your attention. 😄 Like this one:

Ugh look at that wobbly hang. 😫😫😫

So here's the thing. Unfortunately many people who sign up to my Patreon have been stealing their memberships. That is, signing up, receiving the month's worth of premium content, then cancelling their membership the day before billing and resubscribing the day after. A few people do this again and again, month after month. I'm actually in shock that Patreon facilitates this, they've been around long enough to close this massive loophole. From what I've read it's a big problem for other creators as well.

By the way, I also have a lot of absolutely wonderful, loyal patrons, and if you've never done this then the above is in no way directed at you. Thank you so much for your genuine support.

But with others, it’s become a problem. It's actually really heartwrenching, especially with the level of production that goes into some of my videos, to pour in hours of planning, shooting, editing, spending my own money to buy supplies, watching my patron numbers climb throughout the month and feeling proud that my work is paying off, only to see an enormous drop right before billing, of sometimes up to half. My subscription is so inexpensive as it is, but with some subscribers finding it acceptable to yank their pledge back at the last moment after I've delivered on my end, to save themselves eight bucks, I end up with a measly sum for the enormous amount of time and effort I put in, and it's not sustainable.

For a while I thought I might just leave. It wasn't just about the money, it was about being cheated by people who pretended to be supporters. It made me feel like I just didn't want to engage at all anymore, and that wasn't fair on all the wonderful patrons who are genuine. But to be honest, I don't think I can leave. I love this community so much, putting on weight makes me feel so alive and excited and sexy, and showing it off to you makes it ten times better. Gosh I'm sorry this is getting so long, I'll try to wrap it up quickly. Here's another gif:

So at first it looked like I had two options, and I didn't like either of them - significantly raise my subscription price, or turn on upfront billing. But those would be last resorts, if that, because I really don't want to do either of those. So as I was already developing a new content plan, I started to build in ideas for the ways that maybe the type of content I make could help solve this problem. So here's what I'm thinking:

• Fewer highly-produced videos (not never, I still have tons of ideas I want to film, but maybe not every single month) • More real-time 'insta stories' type content

People have been requesting more raw, unpolished content for a while now, and if I can for example pull out my phone and post a few stories when I've just finished gorging myself and am stuffed to the brim, or moments of me getting dressed into tight clothes, how I'm looking as I go about my day and so on, that may fill that demand and also solve this problem of the people who take my content and run.

The more I've thought about this idea, the more excited I am about it. There are so many possibilities with a more real-time content plan. I could live-post stuffings, show exactly how I'm fattening day to day, maybe even take you out on one of those tight-clothes walks I haven't done in a while. It would be a more intimate, almost feeder-feedee type experience. And ultimately I think the main advantage is that it'll let us engage more. I'm a few shy of 9,000 followers here on tumblr, and the best part about reaching that number is the community that's been created. I love it, it's definitely made me fatter, the encouragement is out of this world, and that's what I want to build on going forward.

In line with that I’ve also made a ko-fi, because I’ve had a lot of people get in touch wanting to sponsor a stuffing or something similar, and we don’t have venmo or cashapp in Australia so I never knew how to accommodate that, so I think that might work. The page is up and I’ll figure out how to start offering that in the next few days. You can DM me in the meantime if you’re interested.

If you've read this far, thank you so much. I'm sorry it was so long but I wanted to give proper background and I also probably needed to vent a little bit. I want to say I'm also open to suggestions and ideas, even other platforms I could try out. Advice from other content creators who've dealt with this problem would be especially helpful, but for now I think this plan is a really exciting way to move forward. I hope you do too!

[aprillikesthings]

It's 2:30pm I've had breakfast and coffee and my adhd meds, let's go

EDIT I got partway into the second episode wooo

okay so you know that moment of Catra THONKing her head on the locker that I couldn't stop laughing at yesterday? I recorded it with my phone just now, including me laughing

OKAY THE VIDEO SHOULD WORK *NOW* Anyway now you know I watch all of these in an open tab of Netflix. I don't even fullscreen it bc I'm constantly bouncing between that tab and this one.

(The long fic that is the whole reason I'm rewatching is the left-most tab in case you were wondering--it's literally the fic, netflix, this tab--mmmmost of the rest of the open tabs are other fics, the wikipedia list of episodes, a couple of fanvids, and a bunch of meta)

Also my laugh sounds weird to me here I blame my allergies

Also I really did have some wine last night, huh

OKAY back to Glimmer giving Scorpia that little speech

And yeah I know I just mentioned the parallels between Catra and Glimmer, but like--Catra also did this. She also gassed up Scorpia with the specific intent of encouraging her to do something she wanted Scorpia to do (attend Princess Prom).

And neither of them said anything un-true! But they were still both manipulating her for their own ends.

yeah! by blowing it to smithereens

Anyway back on Beast Island they're trying to gtfo

Except Entrapta doesn't want to go D:

Like she flat-out says, "I'm staying."

There's creepy-ass vines climbing all over everything and knocking out some of the power

"-was so confusing. I just wasn't suited for friendship. I belong here."

(Ohhhhhh I get it--it's the same "crippling self-doubt" thing this place does to everyone.)

ALSO THAT'S CREEPY

She-Ra is just like, Absolutely Not

Man I feel bad for both of them. But also there's a bunch of creatures with sharp teeth surrounding them

Anyway the fight scene that happens is too much to go into detail about, but Micah gets bit, a much bigger creature attacks them, the vines keep trying to take over Entrapta who keeps saying variations on "nobody understands me, that's okay, just leave me here"

Those vines are a great Metaphor for some kinds of mental illness, like depression--that lie to you and tell you this kinda shit.

Bow, who is as always Mr. Emotional Intelligence, says "Did you think friendship is easy? It takes WORK to be there for other people!"

Bow: "Because we're not EVER going to leave you behind again! And we never gave up on you, even when you were with the Horde! Because that's what friends do!"

(oooh that's some tasty foreshadowing! Seriously this is a great scene in general but also HMM who else might they not give up on)

(...wait multiple people actually now that I think about it)

;_;

OH GOD Micah's magical protection shield breaks and Adora, bless her, is like "WE ARE OUT OF TIME. Entrapta, we flew here on an ancient First Ones ship."

Adora might be a littttttle infantalizing in tone here but tbh it worked, so

lol there's more monsters so Entrapta calls her robot to beat them up

"I'm glad we're friends."

(Ugh they wrote Entrapta SO WELL. Like yes it was her special interest that got her to want to leave, but she does care about her friends and she makes an effort--and it's obviously AN EFFORT--to thank Bow for being kind to her. Her words sound slightly stilted, bc saying these sorts of things is a learned skill that doesn't come naturally, but she still means them!)

I had a split second of confusion before realizing this is definitely Double Trouble lol

headcanon: when Double Trouble is alone, they twist their hair all the time the way I do

OH GOD oh shit okay I'm going to just copy/paste from the fanmade transcript:

Double Trouble: I was looking forward to meeting this Entrapta character before I left Bright Moon. But of course, as you know, she wasn't there. Hordak: What did you say? Double Trouble: Oh, you don't need keep up the charade with me. I figured out the truth. You had Catra send Entrapta to Beast Island, so She-Ra would run off to rescue her. A brilliant idea! The perfect distraction. I have to applaud your work, you really had me going. So scorned by Entrapta's betrayal. ...Even now you look like you had no idea! Double Trouble: Brava. I mean, I did consider the alternative...

Double Trouble: That she made you think she was your partner in crime, while really she is the one who betrayed you... Double Trouble: But between you and me, there's no way she's that good of an actor. Double Trouble: Well, I'll leave you to it. Congrats again. Great work all around.

OOOOOH DOUBLE TROUBLE IS SUCH A LITTLE SHIT (and I love them)

Hordak is so pissed he blows some shit up. And shows A Real Human Emotion!!!

in the meantime, they got Entrapta et al safely on the ship

but Bow properly tells the ship to take them back to Bright Moon

And the Horde sends off a bunch of troops as Double Trouble watches and says, "Too easy, as usual."

to quote Double Trouble themself from an earlier episode, "Espionage is a long game, kitten."

OH HO THEY'RE IN CONTACT WITH GLIMMER!

(Oh, that means Double Trouble didn't actually escape, they switched sides, right)

AAAAAUGH

Glimmer and Scorpia teleport out JUST as Bow, Adora, Swift Wind, and Micah show up oh my god that is some Shakespeare-level shit. Like the "camera" backs up and we see Glimmer and Scorpia sparkle away JUST as everyone else runs in from the side D:

But yeah Micah goes looking for Glimmer (his daughter he hasn't seen since she was A CHILD) and

this BITCH

Micah knows what's up. "What is this traitor doing here???"

Catra doesn't know Hordak knows oh god do I hate this my adrenaline is through the fucking ROOF, she just knows Hordak wants to talk to her

Yeah she only barely gets missed by a blaster shot

NOT EVEN USING HER NAME, HUH

AAAND ROLL CREDITS

okay just gonna jump into the next episode, will reblog only when I run out of images

Adora: Stay here, King Micah. The Sorcerers Guild is on their way to help protect Bright Moon. I promise, Your Majesty, we'll bring Glimmer home to you. Swift Wind, take Bow and Entrapta to the Fright Zone. Find Glimmer, we can still stop this. Bow: What are you going to do? Adora: I'm going to the Crystal Castle. I have to keep Light Hope from activating the Heart of Etheria.

She turns into She-Ra

Roll intro!

I usually skip the intro but

eheheheheheheh

*ahem* anyway

oh lord that door is going to open to something

I WAS RIGHT

Scorpia tries to say Glimmer's "a new recruit! Glimmax....Pinkhairton."

Okay but also Lonnie is clearly on Scorpia's side here. "We thought you got out??? If Catra sees you here--"

One of the themes of She-Ra is actually that bad and abusive management causes high turnover. (Like for real my manager is great and that's why I've been at my job eight years.)

Lonnie: "But you're one of us, Scorpia. We won't stand in your way."

Which makes Scorpia emotional

ANYWAY back to Hordak's perfectly justified temper tantrum at Catra

Catra continues to play the "She was a traitor!" card. Anyway he just keeps blasting and she just keeps running

Hordak: "And after I'm through, you can't even begin to imagine the punishments Horde Prime will inflict upon you."

Everyone in the Horde is literally like "Just wait til your father gets home!!!!"

Hordak is just blasting shit all over the place as Catra runs!!

And I've run out of images again, time to reblog

The next episode itself is a two-parter, and I think that rather than split them up I will just watch through, which might mean I have to reblog this post multiple times.

Finishing out season four!

s4, eps 12&13 Destiny

Usual reminder: this is a REwatch and there’s spoilers ahoy, I make a lot of bad jokes (some of which are Adult In Nature), I reference other cartoons, I make random asides.

(also, this time specifically, I had some alcohol)

Tbh? it's a lot like watching things like this with me in person aaahahaha I always want to pause and infodump shit -_-

lol Emily is destroying Shadow Weaver's garden

Emily acts like Mal the cat does sometimes. WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH you are not supposed to have that! Get out of there!

UGGGH

it's easy to forget how BIG Scorpia is??

LOLOL oh my god I went downstairs for like an hour and a half talking to my partners about the most random shit and then playing with the cat and also: I've had most of a can of wine.

One of these:

YEAH (that's a huge image)

so if these get weird: blame the wine I guess

oh also @corpseauthority and I picked out fake fur and minky fabric for the ears and tail of my Catra cosplay :D :D :D I'M SO EXCITED

OKAY BACK TO SHE-RA

the only thing better than Scorpia's "huh?" is Shadow Weaver's flat "what"

Shadow Weaver: no we need the other princesses Glimmer: well they're gone but-- Scorpia, Shadow Weaver, and Emily: WAIT, WHAT???

AND THEN

okay but is the guard telling you this Double Trouble

ROLL INTRO

that thing was not meant to hold four humans and a horse with wings

why are you SNIFFING HIM

Entrapta: "I don't know you" Micah: "Yes, you do. You stole my food." Entrapta: "OH YEAH! It was delicious :D"

oh god Adora's like "....but are you okay? we came here to find you 🥺"

and she's like YEAH I'M GREAT

"each more deadly than the next??? it's PARADISE"

I love her so much oh my godddd

Bow: "We're here to rescue you" Entrapta: "didn't I just rescue YOU?"

Bow mentions Hordak and Entrapta pulls her little new bug-eye mask down :(

Adora: so hey we uhhhhhhhh really need your help due to a terrible secret of the First Ones that nobody but us knows

"WHy didn't you say so???"

well that's a callback to s1 ep1

THERE SHE IS!! MY BABY 😍 I LOVE HER SO MUCH

nooo

anyway Kyle, Rogelio, and Lonnie come in and Catra's like OH UHHH so...what's happening

Lonnie: "we just got back from conquering another Rebel town" Kyle: ":D You should've seen us!! It was all:"

and then he kicks Scorpia's old locker, with the drawings on it, and Catra gets mad

Ironically the degree to which Catra is UPSET is making me ship them harder lol

bb you need a break you are getting feral

Man Lonnie has her number lol. "What is wrong with you? We're winning! Even you should be happy."

god I love when she's this deranged

she slams poor Lonnie against a locker

john cena dot gif

but also OH DO THEY REMIND YOU OF WHO YOU USED TO BE? HMM? what you really wanted??? what actually gave you something like joy or contentment????? are you trying to just erase any part of you capable of feeling good?????????

Kyle is RIGHT

The cinematic parallels between Catra and Glimmer in this episode ("forget my friends I'M IN CHARGE HERE and YOU NEED TO FOLLOW ORDERS") are *chef's kiss*

Catra realizing this isn't what she actually wants: part ....a lot

STOP REMINDING ME I HAVE FEELINGS!!

The other three leave, she yanks the drawings off Scorpia's old locker, then THUMPs her head on it. And then Double Trouble shows up!

okay wait tho the way she pauses and then thumps her head on it is so funny I wish I could gif it, it's so cat-like and also Very Emo

I don't think this is supposed to be funny but it IS and I cannot stop rewinding and laughing. I blame the wine.

THONK

help i've rewatched it like five times now

okay

lol right??

Me, when I was info-dumping my own fic at myself: is it weird to imagine these two banging??? Me now: nope

Double Trouble: "Apologies for the delay, kitten. I got ...held up...in Bright Moon"

Anyway they give a little speech about how the Princesses keep fighting and She-Ra is away

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK

(now THERE's an old fandom reference ahahaha)

"We can't let them return to the Fright Zone!" TOO FUCKING LATE

YOU STOLE HER GARNET YOU WOULD THINK SO

Anyway they argue about the possibility of Glimmer taking Scorpia back to the Fright Zone

GOD I HATE IT WHEN SHE'S RIGHT UGGGHHHH

lolol I am. like. less than ten minutes into the FIRST OF TWO EPISODES and i've hit the image limit.

[bearseulgs]

IVE as girlfriends

gn!reader x ot6

genre: fluff

wc: 891

warnings: food

requested!! tysm

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Gaeul ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

i see Gaeul as being a very playful gf

y'all love joking around w each other

you don't see each other much during the week due to school and work so you've dedicated saturday night to y'all's night where you watch movies, bake, and play board games

you would expect twister to be cute and stuff but no twister is WAR

she probs likes those group hangout dates where you're with friends but y'all two end up going off to do your own thing

y'all're just so enamored by each other

also on game/movie nights, you sometimes have little showcases where you get to show off your interests in powerpoints UGH an autistic's dream date tbh

but she also knows when to be serious

she's very good at talking things out, and bc of this arguments rarely occur

that and you just match each other very well

the perfect relationship tbh

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Yujin ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

loml fr

you can always lean on her, she loves helping people, esp you

but she also needs support bc becoming leader at such a young age can be stressful, esp after debuting at 15

anyways what's it like having the coolest gf ever??

y'all love going on fun, adventurous dates together, like hiking or amusement parks

yujinnie trying to win you a plushie at those game booths I'M CRYING 🥹🥹

y'all would defo make each other playlists, and she listens to every one you send very carefully, always wanting to hear your music taste

she thinks it helps her get to know you a lil more &lt;3

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Rei ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

other loml

i really like Rei's art, and she seems to like making art, so i feel like y'all would sometimes have those dates where you do that thing where you share a canvas and every 5 minutes you switch so the other person adds onto the painting until y'all are done

sorry if i didn't explain that right 😭

or if you aren't an artist or singer or anything arts related, she'd love watching you do your own little thing and learning about it

like if you play video games, she's always down to game w you, or if you keep a garden she'll tend to it w you

but if you are a musical person she loves hearing you perform, whether it's at a school concert or just you and her

y'all are each other's biggest supporters

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Wonyoung ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

she'd be such a good gf

always very caring and attentive, your needs would never go unnoticed by her

but she expects the same energy in return

Wonyoung values you a lot, but she's also very sure of her worth, so for the relationship to work y'all have to put the same amount of effort in

different types of effort is okay tho

like i see Wonyo as being very physically affectionate and liking to praise her s/o ☺️

but say you sometimes don't want physical touch, but like being in the same room doing separate things?? she loves you for that

y'all go on all sorts of dates around the city, whether it's lunch at the local cult's deli (yes we have that where i live), afternoon tea at the park, or shopping at a local bookstore

y'all always exchange little gifts and do small tasks for each other, it's like your thing

whether it be her bringing home a flower she found that she thought was pretty like you or you doing her laundry bc you know she's been busy

overall a very healthy relationship, y'all are absolutely perfect together

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Liz ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

she's so shy and i find it so endearing

definitely was scared to be affectionate at the beginning bc she didn't wanna seem clingy

but over time she got much more comfy with you and now she's always cuddling up to you aw 💞💞

aquarium dates

i honestly think Jiwoo would love the aquarium

y'all taking pics of each other next to the pretty jellyfish wall 💞

or when both of you are tired and want a stay at home type date, baking/cooking

esp if you've been watching food shows together,,, the kitchen is your professional workshop

she loves you so much, she is the sweetest girl so please take care of her ☹️

- ͙۪۪̥˚┊❛ Leeseo ❜┊˚ ͙۪۪̥◌

she's the absolute opposite of Liz lmao

she seems so confident, she defo asked you out and asked you to be her s/o

Yujin said that Hyunseo has a lot of friends that she's close with so i feel like she'd love introducing you to them

ARCADE DATES

going bowling and then hitting up the arcade after 😩 GIMME NOW

she spends like,,, $5 at the claw machine before you intervene

(whether to show her how you do it or drag her away depends on your claw machine skillz)

going insane on the hammer thing and competing to see who can hit it the hardest

y'all are so competitive fr

but at the end of the day you really do love each other and would do anything for each other

a/n: bruhhh this should not have taken me as long as it did 💔💔 anyways get me a Liz, also lmk if you want a more detailed version for a member!! i'd be more than happy to do that

©️ bearseulgs 2022

[nari-nim]

san as your boyfriend

nari-note: got some time and finally got back to writing! san was the reason I got into Ateez before Seonghwa biased wrecked me so hard I never looked back but I feel like this is a common experience so I’ll shut up now. gif creds go to @ateazes​

He is beyond ambitious and action-oriented wbk. Once he realizes he has such a huge crush on you, he’ll chase after you in such an intense, focused way. Guns blazing. Pulling all the stops once he gets over the initial shyness. Hot as fuck.

He’ll feel very compelled to take care of you. 

He’s really sentimental. Even the smallest things can trigger big emotional reactions from him, whether it be a small note you left behind or a love song that reminds them of the night you met.

He thrives off of your praise. Give him any compliment and just watch him swell with adorable pride.

He thrives off of any sincere, loving words from you, whether it’s spoken or written.

He’s a slut for love letters. He will take them with him wherever he goes and read it constantly. 

Very vocal about his “I love you”s

Compliments for you comes so easily to him and he pays them often

Wants you to pat his head to signify a “good job” a lot. Or give his the verbal equivalent of that if that makes sense

Likes to be constantly reassured that you love him and give him the reasons you know, compliment him so so so much and he will be glowing 

He will ask you questions that seems like he’s fishing for compliments but you oblige because you know he loves it so much

He would never want to feel taken for granted, so make sure you’re reciprocating or verbally acknowledging his efforts.

He’s pretty family-oriented. The type to immediately tell his family about you because he’s so excited y’all are dating! 

All of Ateez knows about the two of you even before the two of you fully realized your feelings for each other.

The type to start talking about kids and starting a family, not to pressure you, but because he’s just so excited about that concept

Really likes resting his head on your shoulders or laying on your lap

He is a clingy teddy bear. 

PDA? Yes. A lot. Will not hesitate unless there’s cameras, higher ups, etc.

You’re always having fun around him. It may be fun to tease him with the other members or laugh at your own jokes together. Or literally integrate a bit to the WooSan duo/WooSanSang trio and literally laugh until your sides hurt 

He’s super smiley already but he’s smile grows like 20 times wider and more genuine around you. Wooyoung teases him a lot about it.

He’s actually really emotionally intelligent. He’s pretty in touch with his own feelings and highly intuitive when it comes to other people's emotions. If you don't mind doing a lot of sharing, you'll feel incredibly supported because he’s great at sympathizing and being a great listener. 

Let him cuddle you while y’all are being little emo lovebirds 

Like the king he is, he falls in love with who you are and not who he wants you to be (this is an easy trap for a lot of couples) because he really aims to accept his partner as who they are. 

He really likes to have long, deep, and vulnerable conversations about each other, life, and any dumb topic you can think off

A lot of video calls where you stay up late and chat if he is on break

But even if he isn’t, he tries to call you for at least 10 mins before knocking out

Please there was this one time he set an alarm for himself to wake up at like 2 am because you both missed the scheduled call just so he could see you. When you picked up, he looked so tired and you forced him back to bed but the effort he puts into the relationship makes your heart melt ugh

Can get moody 

Clingy

Needs and loves constant reassurance

Likes pet names a lot! 

Any pet name goes but he would basically never call you by your full name unless you’re both being serious about something

Speaking of being serious, can get territorial and possessive as fuck

So can get jealous easily ngl

This might be a bit difficult because he’s the type to bottle things up. He tries to keep things in harmony and hates confrontation/disagreement. This usually leads to stability in your relationships, but try making him work on the problem together because keeping frustrations inside could mean the detriment of his own priorities and sense of self in the long run

The type to love getting kisses pressed all over his face!

Will end up coming up with some way to ask for them

You know how those cats head bump their owners for pets? He will head bump your should gently and put his face close to you, staring at you with a soft smile, and wait for his kisses

He wants so many kisses so much

You know that tik tok challenge of you refusing your partners kiss

So you tried that on him once 

He pouted the first time, confused 

And he whined after your avoided his peck for the second time

After the third he grabbed the sides of your face and holds you still as he just lunged at you, roughly kissing you squarely on your lips before shoving his tongue down your throat

Started kissing you so hard and so deep, pushing you a little back, you had to grab onto his shoulders to maintain your balance and ground yourself a little

Aggressively made out with you before pulling away with that sensual ass expression

“Had your fun?”

With that smirk ugh

And then proceeded to use his strength to his advantage as he fended off your horny ass out of pure pettiness

But don’t worry you brought out the demon in him, see more under the cut ;)

NSFW after this

Switch with sub lean

Caring and sweet

He loves teasing you and obsessed with foreplay and spends a lot of time on that before anything else happens

He loves seeing how much his sultry expressions and verbal teasing can get you so turned on! So he’s the type to want to see your face at all times so he can get those constant ego boosts 

Sex in front of a mirror helps this goal

Oh my god he is so loud in bed

Moans so much

Type to moan while eating you out, he just tastes you and looks up at you through his super hooded eye (you know exactly what I’m talking about) and pant as his licks his glistening lips

Moans into kisses 

I’ve seen a lot about him being an experimentalist

And I agree

He’s so confident about switching things up in bed. Lucky you.

This means that he would be very down with you doming him a lot if that’s what you’re into. Like he would really want you to power bottom or wreck him <3333

Will try anything you bring to the table

One very important thing to add is that he has the mentality that he will be the best at any given thing. So even if he’s introduced to a new kink of yours a few days ago, he will work so hard on refining his craft and by the end of the week, he is actually making you feel a whole new level of that kink

Gets off in the idea that only he can make you feel this 

This leads into his praise kink

He will always want you to moan/gasp/scream his name and just how good he makes you feel

Can get a little possessive and needs to hear you affirming that yes, your pussy belongs to him and you’re all his and only he can make you scream like this

Just be very vocal together 

His ideal level is where you’re both literally so lost in the moment that people can hear you both through the thickest of walls

Oh um also jealous/possessive sex with him happens more frequently than he likes to admit. 

Because sometimes you just think he wanted to dom that day and don’t think too much about it. He’s grabbing your rougher and pounding you into the sheets,

Other times, he’s shit at hiding it because he starts growling “mine, mine, mine” as he rails you into sub space

Um into exhibitionism

Likes letting other people know how good he is making you feel

Into marking

Likes getting hickeys from you in places only he can see

One time you left a few marks on his lower waist when he was subbing the night before and it definitely didn’t fade by the time his stylist tried to don him in a mesh shirt 

The next morning, it’s you that has marks all over in some highly visible areas

Oh he will send you nudes.

Sends you videos of him cumming

Sends you photos of his more provocative stage outfits

Sexts you, taunting and teasing how he knows how much you want to tie him up and edging him until he’s begging for you

Sends you voice clips of him moaning and whining about how much he wants you when he’s feeling horny

He begs for you in these vids it’s so hot

Would be very into making a sex tape

He likes watching your expressions carefully in his own time haha

But I also think he’s very much into soft love-making...that doesn’t get enough attention I think

Sex is actually all about emotional connection for him

So he takes commitment very seriously and he’s very committed to your pleasure

Very clingy and cuddly after

Aftercare may be 50/50, usually y’all try to get cleaned asap because we both know you might fall asleep so fast before the mess is cleaned up haha

[timetravelassasin]

Valentine’s Day with you ❤

Summary: It’s Valentine’s Day and Kenma has the day planned out for the two of you. 

A/N: This is late but I still wanted to post something about it. I hope you guys like it!

___________________________________________________________

It was that time of the year, Valentine’s Day, a day you really had no thought about. Valentine’s Day was just a regular day for you. The day was always spent working or spending the time distributing homemade chocolates. This year was different, you would be spending it with Kenma. He had asked you to take the day off from work and make no plans. You were surprised that he had asked you to take the day off. 

“Y/N, wake up,” you heard Kenma say, shaking your shoulder. 

“Hm, morning,” you yawned, sitting up and rubbing your tired eyes. 

“I made you breakfast,” He said setting a tray on your lap. 

The tray had a cup of coffee just the way you liked it along with a stack of fluffy pancakes with strawberries on top. You smiled as he went and sat next to you on the bed. 

“They look tasty,” you said, taking a bite of the pancakes. 

“I found a YouTube video on how to make them. I hope they came out good,” he said, taking a strawberry from the top. 

“Really, they came out really good. I should have you make me some every day,” you chuckled, eating the amazing pancakes. 

“Um, I wanted to spend the day with you playing games. If it’s ok,” he asked. 

“You read my mind,” you chuckled. 

“Get takeout,” he said. 

“Of course, spending the day with you playing games and eating take out is the best thing we could do together,” you smiled. 

“I got you something too,” he said, looking down at his hands. 

“Kenma, you didn’t have to get me anything,” you said, finishing up the food. 

“I wanted too. You do a lot for me and I wanted to show you just how much you mean to me,” he said. 

“Alright, what did you get me,” you chuckled. 

“You have to get out of bed to get it,” he chuckled, grabbing your hand. 

“Ugh, but I’m so comfy here with you in bed,” you pouted, rolling over to snuggle into your blanket. 

“We can get back in bed after,” he chuckled, pulling you out of bed. 

“No, my comfy bed,” you pouted as he pulled you out of the room and towards the living room. 

He walked you into the living room to show you a complete setup of pillows, snacks, chocolates and games. Some of the books you had yet to start to read were stacked on the side. 

“I thought we could spend the day together. I know you have been meaning to read your books and thought maybe you could read your books while I played my games or maybe even teach you how to play some,” he said, playing with your fingers. 

“I love you,” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck. 

“I-I love you too,” he said, his face flushed. 

He led you to the center of the pillows and blankets and handed you a box of chocolates. They were homemade. Kenma confessed he made them after watching a YouTube video on how to make them. 

“Here I got you a pack of your favorite drink,” he said, handing you the drink.

“Kenma this is so sweet,” you smiled, taking the drink. 

He started the TV and set a game up. You decided you would read one book before joining him in playing some games. He took it easy on you at first but once he saw you learning fast he started to really put a lot more effort into it. The door bell rang around lunch time meaning someone was here. 

“I’ll get it,” Kenma said, walking to the door. 

He paused the game before heading to the door. After a couple minutes he was back with a bag of take out from your favorite restaurant. He set the bag on the coffee table in front of you and took everything out. 

“You know since you did this all for me on Valentine’s Day, I will have to return the favor on White Day,” you chuckled. 

“We can take a trip if you want,” he said, handing you some chopsticks. 

“Yes, let’s take a trip somewhere. How about the beach,” you asked. 

“The beach sounds good,” he answered. 

The two of you spent the day eating and playing games. You beat him a couple of times and he later got revenge and beat you. It was a Valentines you were sure never to forget and looked forward to White Day.

[cartoonist-ks]

Ass Thermometer! (Donatello x Reader)

About: Donatello was at your apartment resting because he came down with a cold. You take it upon yourself to play nurse, while also playing a little prank on him.

Note: This was based on another KidBehindACamera video. Enjoy

Ratings: PG-13

Warnings: Mild-Swearing

-------------------------------------------------------

Your terrapin boyfriend came to your apartment not looking his best. He seemed tired, he sounded like he was losing his voice, and he was coughing and sneezing a lot. He says it's just a small cold, but you saw the huge impact it left on him. So, after all your efforts, you finally got him to lay down on the couch and rest. It was time for you to play nurse of the day. You came into the living room to check on him. He seemed a bit agitated.

Y/N: "Hey, babe. How are you feeling?"

Donnie: (sniffs) "Filled with mucus. In other words, not any better."

You put your hand on his forehead, his skin felt very hot. Which obviously, wasn't a good sign since he's cold-blooded.

Y/N: "Gosh, you're burning up."

Donnie: "Yeah, no kidding! Ugh..."

Y/N: "I'm a little worried for you, hun. Want me to get you something? Like water? Or maybe some soup."

Donnie: "No. I just...uh...I just need rest, okay? That's all I want right now. I'm tired, hot, my nostrils are stuffy! I feel like crap, Y/N. Something's up."

Y/N: "I think you might have a mild fever, hun."

Donnie: "You don't know that."

Y/N: "On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate how bad you're feeling?"

Donnie: "Like a...like a 9." (Sniff)

Y/N: "Yup, it's a mild fever."

Donnie: "You can't just guess like that."

Y/N: "I should take your temperature to be sure. I'll be right back."

You then leave to go get a thermometer from your bathroom. You then come back to Donnie laying sickly on your couch.

Y/N: "Alright, open up."

Donnie opens his mouth. You drop the thermometer in and he starts to gag. After his gagging fit, he removes the thermometer from his mouth.

Donnie: "Went too far down my throat."

He then puts it back in his mouth and waits. You are unsure if the thermometer was on or not, so you asked.

Y/N: "Is it on?"

Donnie: (groan)

Y/N: (slower) "Is it on?"

Donnie: (irritated groan)

A few seconds later and you ask him for the last time.

Y/N: "Donnie, is it on?"

Donnie: (angry) "YES!"

After a few more seconds, the thermometer beeps and Donnie gives it to you all agitated.

Donnie: "There! God!"

You take it from him and check the numbers. It read 38°C. Also, you didn't like Donnie's attitude towards you. Of course, you understood he was sick and tired, but it's still no excuse to be rude. So, you thought of a little prank to pull.

Y/N: "Oh, shoot! I forgot. My friend came over with her dog earlier and I used this exact thermometer to check the dog's temperature because she wasn't feeling well."

Donnie: "What?!"

Y/N: (giggles) "In his ass!"

Donnie: "WHAT?!"

Donnie takes the thermometer from you.

Donnie: "Y/N. You better be JOKING WITH THIS!"

Y/N: (laughs) "I'm not! I'm not, I'm serious- hey! Stop!"

Donnie then attempts to bend the thermometer in anger to no avail as you tried to take it from his hands. He then throws it to the side and turns his body away from you pulling the blanket over his head.

Donnie: "Gah! You gave me an ASS THERMOMETER!"

You then laugh at loud at his reaction.

Donnie: "I knew something was up!"

Y/N: (laughs) "Oh, my God!" (Laughing)

Donnie: "You're a cold, witch!"

Y/N: "I was kidding, Don! It didn't go up any dog's butt."

Donnie: "Yeah, I don't believe you! This is something you would do to me! That's screwed up!"

Y/N: "Nah, I promise. It was a joke. Maybe next time, you shouldn't have an attitude with me."

Donnie: "What?! Over that?! Oh, my god- get outta here! And leave me alone."

You then laugh another time, still enjoying the situation you've created. This was the best prank you pulled for a while. And of course, it wasn't your last.

@turtle-babe83 @exovapor

[fromaliminalspace]

For the gif makers ask meme... 14, 16, 34, and 48?

[ask meme link]

14. How long does it usually take you to make a set

for real, while technically i can make a gifset within a day or a few, i have a nasty tendency to procrastinate everything, literally everything, even stuff i actually enjoy. and when i do get around to actually making sth i overthink it. sometimes for months. yup. lbr overthinking (alongside chronic lack of spoons) is the main reason i create stuff so rarely and post it even rarer even if i have it finished for a while. i'm trying to improve, okay..? just gonna kick myself more often into calling things finished and posting them, i literally have dozens of gifset ideas waiting to be executed, several art wips (as well as finished pieces), two videoedit ideas, and quite a few k words of both fic and meta… the tricky part is just to get around to all of it

16. How long have you been making gifs

oof lemme see… in June 2020 i made my first gifs that weren't completely horrible cuz before that i was using merely a phone app for this with video editing software (this and this were made this way). and then in February 2021 i finally figured out what was missing from my PS and preventing me from editing gifs there and fixed it. so yeah, i've been relatively new to this, i guess..? though ngl the experience of very spontaneously making two videoedits before trying out proper gifing was a nice starting point

34. A set that took you a long time/was really hard but you’re really proud of how it came out

hm the stardust one is the first that came to mind even though it's more the case of "it didn't receive as much attention as most my other cql gifsets but i'm still quite fond of it" rather than it being particularly time/effort-consuming. not to mention that i'm hardly ever actually proud of anything i create but well, that's just my brain cockroaches messing stuff up. back on track, the WWX gifs in the trust parallel set were a pain to edit but eventually i ended up learning new tricks while groping my way around it so i'm not complaining

okay, if i were really to pick a gifset i'm proud of that'd be the ripples one, no doubts (gonna add the link once i actually finish and post it, i promise). it's the most advanced technically (don't even ask me how long i've been nitpicking it from all directions and how i'm still tempted to drop the current version in favor of approaching it from a whole new direction bc surely it can be done way way better if i just go nitpick it some more! ya know, the usual overthinking) and it's sth very personal to me thematically. the underlying meaning of it is too closely related to liminal spaces (or more like what i simplify as "liminal spaces" as i suspect my own understanding of this concept in general can differ quite a bit from that of other people) so putting it into actual words gets tricky. but this kinda comes with the territory so nothing unusual

48. How would you describe your giffing style

ugh honestly idek if i have one..? for real, i don't think there's anything about my gifs that makes them stand out much. at least there surely isn't anything that i deliberately make sure to integrate every single time (maybe i do unconsciously though, who knows). so i feel like it's more for others to judge ¯_(ツ)_/¯

what i can say is that when i do make gifsets i apparently tend to illustrate some narrative parallels or sth with them..? or just combine scenes with a quote that strikes me with fitting vibes. or both. also i like to have fun with the colors and lighting and use adjustment layers quite heavily (but gotta admit it's hardly an option to halfass this if i wanna my Yi City gifs to look vibrant and alive enough). i suppose alternative subtitles to all my cql sets are a feature of my so called style as well since i always translate them myself instead of going the easy way and copying any of the already existing ones. which is also fun! even if, well, adds to the amount of time and spoons i put into it but what can i say, it's a matter of habit by now

[shhhlikeme]

F*cked Out 💤

Ojiro Aran Domestic Smut (NSFW) part 2

A/N: I wrote this as a Part 2 to this fic, but it can be read as a stand alone!

18+, Explicit smut, praise kink, Aged up obvs, Timeskip spoilers

Tagging: @saitamastamaticsoup & @chunhua-s b/c these Aran stans found part 1 last night & their comments made me thirsty enough to write a pt. 2. Hope you like it!

also my lovely @qyuanon who I just read is back and I missed her💛

Futilely, you knocked on the door to yours and your man’s home office. Leaning on the frame, you crossed your arms. Being a literal isolationist when you had to work, you never understood why your man liked keeping the office door open. But then he told you once that he didn’t like the fact that he couldn’t hear you calling him if the door was closed. ‘What if something happened and I didn’t run to you?’ He had explained, pouting when you laughed at him. It warmed your heart, but you decided not to call his name tonight, instead opting to physically pay him a visit. You had to, because what lead you here in the first place was serious! You had just woken up in the middle of the night because his side of the bed had turned cold. Yeah, that deserved nothing less than a visit from you! 

From your spot in the doorway you could see Ojiro sitting at the grand desk, his back turned to you, the lights from his laptop playing some Team Canada highlights. The screen bluelight shone brightly on his gorgeous dark skin, the back of his head bobbed up and down as he dutifully wrote down any important plays he was seeing so that he could tell his coach tomorrow.

“Babe,” You announced your presence with a soft smile. Your man is such a hard worker and he really doesn’t get enough credit for it. You tighten the robe you were wearing because it was always kind of drafty on this side of the house. “You have a game tomorrow.” 

Your boyfriend, captain of the Japanese National Volleyball Team’s shoulders slumped when he heard you, but he didn’t turn around. 

He didn’t have to.

He never had to. Even though you’ve only been dating for a bit over a year, you two knew each other so well that you could accurately tell exactly what kind of expressions, feelings, and thoughts permeated the other without having to be vis-a-vis. When you first met, your dates were—objectively speaking—oddly silent for the most part. The waitress once asked you if you were uncomfortable through an inconspicuous napkin note, which was kind of her—but the truth was that on that date you were actually more than Okay! It might have seemed odd to an outsider or eavesdropper that no sentences were being finished, and both people on said date were constantly staring down, away, or into each others eyes in silence… but realistically, neither of them could grasp the fact that words weren’t necessary when there existed a connection like yours and Aran’s. 

‘It’s fate. He’s the one.’ You had told your friends after the second date when you realized your mind reading wasn’t a fluke. Because as corny as it sounded then and even now in your memory; it was true, tf. 

Doesn’t mean you weren’t going to kick his ass for letting his side of the bed go cold, though. You were used to Aran being gone for volleyball so you had no problem falling asleep alone, but when you were ecstatic to have him home it was important for him to REMAIN home, which means staying in bed if you fell asleep on his chest! He has never done it before, so This is not Okay!

“I know, baby, I know…” your boyfriend calls to you, scribbling on his notepad faster. “I’m almost done. I-I think their setter could be doing one of two plays to start tomorrow, and I don’t think it’s the one I was sure about before we went to bed. And I mean, we play them until 12pm, so—“

“So nothing. You still have to be up by 6. The stadium is far and knowing you, you won’t sleep on the Team’s bus, you’ll still be watching these videos even then. I’ll—“

“Please don’t tell Iwaizumi-san, he will kick my ass! We’re playing Team Canada tomorrow and they are ranked just under us but—“

“Not by a lot, I know. I understand, but you guys will still pull the win. I know it....because Your team has you.”

Aran chuckled heartily, continuing to scribble with his back still turned, but his voice turned a little more endearing. “Thank you, baby. But.... I can’t seem to sleep tonight... I just can’t. I’ve been up this whole time so I—” As your boyfriend babbled on, you quietly interjected, 

“I know a way to get you to sleep.” 

“—won’t use my laptop in bed and wake you up when you’re sleeping so….wait….what did you—?” 

You smirked, knowing that your man knew why your voice had dropped a few octaves. He knew you were up to something, not because you two could practically read each other’s minds—moreso because you two had already established that that specific tone of voice of yours made his dick hard. The pen he was scribbling with stopped moving, finally, and you could just picture the way he gulped just now. 

“I know you can’t sleep, Ar…..” You made sure he could hear you clearly now, in the voice you only reserved for fuck-me-o’clock. 

A sexy smirk that Ojiro could see without looking at you played in his mind and on your face simultaneously. 

“Yeah?” He asked, his deep voice cracking. 

You kept speaking in that voice with one goal in mind.

“Yes, baby…” You hummed thoughtfully before stating,

“So why don’t you come over here and fuck me so hard it puts you to bed, then?”

Drunk off horniness caused by the amount sex dripping from your voice, the captain of Japan’s National Volleyball Team slowly turned the office chair so that he was facing you. 

Boldly, you turned your back to him at the same time and fiddled your hands that just tightened your robe. This time, instead of tightening it, you loosened the strings fully so your robe was wide open, facing the emptiness of your house. Knowing that your boyfriend was checking out and admiring your ass in that short silk robe and desiring the shock factor—in one motion you tossed the robe over your shoulders so that it pooled at your feet, exposing your completely nude back and backside to your man. 

“🤤 Shit,” Ojiro groaned, sounding as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. You just knew your man was biting that full and juicy bottom lip of his.

Swaying your hips to give your man a tiny show, you sauntered precisely where he didn’t want you to: away from him; heading towards the master bedroom. 

You kept yourself from giggling when you heard the aggressive shutting of a laptop, a volleyball announcer being cut off, and a certain volleyball player’s stumbling and cursing because Ojiro was practically chasing you out of the office.

***

“Mmmm…. Fuck..”

A few minutes later, your mind displayed a valiant effort by attempting to guess how your boyfriend looked right now, but it would be in vain. You couldn’t picture your man like you usually could because you were currently being fucked way too fucking well. Ojiro was filling you completely with just half his length, whispering horny-nothings to help you understand his feelings anyway:

“God damn, Y/N… Every. Time. Feels. So. God. Damn. Good,”

Now, If your mind was clear you’d be able to perfectly visualize how Ojiro’s face was scrunched up in pleasure right now, a coat of sweat coating his nude dark skin, the skylight over his head allowing the moon to reflect an insanely sexy glow sheen over his muscles due to the perspiration. 

“Auuh there’s nothing better than this, baby…”

If your mind was clear you’d be able to perfectly visualize how Ojiro’s head was tilted backwards right now, his mouth slightly ajar as he focused on not cumming inside you within the first few minutes of this because he needed to feel you cum around him first. As always. 

“Not when I hitting a line shot, not when I get a service ace.... nothing feels—auuuh f-uck— better than your pussy, baby girl..…”

If your mind was clear, you’d be able to see Ojiro on his knees behind you, holding your hips in his giant hands while he drove into you from behind, inserting only half his cock in and out like a pro, then surprising you with a fully thrust every now and then when he sheathed all 10 inches inside your heat.

“Mmm, so ti-ight, always so wet… damn,”

Despite your mind being clouded by immense pleasure, however—you did know that you looked absolutely wrecked with your face pressed in the pillow, blindly reaching behind you to tap or wave or pinch or do something to him since you couldn’t speak. You could barely made any sounds other than choked out moans because it felt so spectacular… but you didn’t have to! Aran knew that you wanted your boyfriend to stop playing and give you full strokes. His half thrusts filled and pleasured you more than any one ever could because he was huge and skilled in bed, he knew just how your insides liked to be stroked, but that didn’t stop you from silently pleading to him..

Even if Ojiro wasn’t holding back like always because he was very aware of his size and girth, even if you both knew that it would hurt you the next day like after a good workout, even if you walked funny when you had to attended his Olympic game several hours from now—you fucking needed it.

HE fucking needed it!

“Harder, Ar,” You commanded, “Deeper!”

“Fuck,” Your boyfriend panted, still not giving you what you asked 7 amazing strokes later. 

“Harder, now!” You cried as if you were whispering to the fucking pillow. You hadn’t the strength to lift your head. Your orgasm was fast approaching because HALF your man’s dick was too good and there was no way you weren’t bringing him with you. “Deeper, baby!”

“Y-you su-sure?” He asked worriedly. He always did this shit 🙄. He always worried way too much about your body soreness and way too little about both of your impending orgasms tonight rocking your motherfucking worlds. 

Ugh!

Good boyfriends and their fucked up PRIORITIES, amirite?!

Needless to say, you didn’t have time for compassionate Aran tonight. You needed him to fuck the both of you to sleep the way you knew he was capable of if he stopped holding back. Besides, he should have been in bed hours ago. You had to do this for the sake of the National Team! You had to this for JAPAN! (A/N: lucky b*tch shut your horny ass up)

So that’s why, in response to his asking if you were sure or not, you responded by clenching your insides so that your slick hole squeezed around your boyfriend’s cock. 

As soon as he felt you pulsing impossibly tighter around him as he fucked you halfway, his eyes rolled back in his head. 

“Fuuuuuuuuuuck…” He moaned deeply, so of course you continued doing it.

“Shit, Y/N, Okay, Okay,”

Without having to beg for mercy, your man did as you asked him to. He moved his hands from your waist to splay them on each of your ass cheeks, spreading them apart to make more room for his member that already barely fit (with your hasty prep and not his tentative one), but especially when your pussy clenched around him like that. With a loud moan from both of you, he bottomed out and stayed there for a bit to get you used to the size. You almost passed out by how good it felt pressing against your g-spot.

When Aran couldn’t take it anymore, and he started giving it to you: hard, fast, and deep. 

“Ye, baby, make room for me just like this…..” He moaned, gripping your ass tighter. “You want all of me? You think your tight hole can handle all of me?” He asked, no growled, still giving shallow but gratifying thrusts.

You whimpered, knowing that Ojiro knew the answer to that. Even so, you egged him on, “Sh-Show me why you’re the best top,” playing into your dirty talk from the last time y’all had sex like this but he was under you. 

Your boyfriend let out a long groan in his smooth deep voice and picked up his pace in reaponse, sending a new wave of wetness to your private. You were so soaked down there that it sounded like y’all were having sex in the bath tub, fuck. 

Your man loved it. 

“Mmmm, —m’ close beautiful,” He called, snapping his hips forward to meet you g-spot again and again. “It’s you, baby, it’s you,” Your man groaned. “Your pussy feels too fucking good……. I’d never pull out if I had to co-couldd,” 

“Oh, God. Aran!" You moaned loudly due to his dirty talk and praise, teetering on the edge of your release. Knowing that you maybe had 30 seconds left if you focused, you must have decided that you didn’t want to walk tomorrow at all because being the weakness of your bf you are, from your position being pounded into the sheets, you propped yourself up on your weak arms so that you could use the fact that your elbows were digging into the mattress as leverage to push your body back so that you met Aran’s deep thrusts. 

Like your boyfriends does every rare time he’s able to see your glorious ass bounce on his hard dick, his eyes flew open and he felt as though he’d been transported to heaven itself. 

“Y/N—auh, s-so sexy, aah, ooh, ohhh, fuck, Y/N,”

entranced, Aran couldn’t even last another second before he was stopping your movements with his hands, sliding them back on your hips to hold you still as his orgasm took his muscular frame by storm. He saw stars.

Of course, his orgasm triggered yours immediately, and you cried your man’s name as you came on his dick. He whispered yours as your insides milked him without influence this time, effectively lengthening your man’s finish. Panting, Aran just barely caught himself before his now exhausted body toppled over you. 

His last wakeful act, being the gentleman that he is, was to roll over so he wouldn’t crush you with his body weight, pulling out at the same time. 

You wondered if he registered that he said, “thank you baby,” before he began softly snoring—a sign that he was completely worn out and sleeping.

You smiled softly to yourself when you heard his snores, finally turning when you caught your own breath, to fully see your boyfriend’s stunning face. You endearingly brushed his goatee with the tips of your fingers, turning his sleeping face to yours so you could peck his lips. Then, you just barely had the leg strength to stand up on limbs that barely worked, removing his condom for him, then using the furniture in your room to support you as you cleaned the two of you up. You almost fell asleep standing up as you used a cloth on the two of you. Five minutes later, you were back in bed, under the covers with your lover and amazing man. 

Usually, Ojiro Aran slept like the dead (when he first moved in you occasionally have to check if he was still breathing...) , but you knew now that if he snored, that was a sign that he was so fatigued. You knew about the snoring, but the talking was new to you. Ojiro was so deep in his sleep after that round, that he was talking to himself in his slumber, whispering sweet-nothings about you that you’d never let him know he vocalized to spare him the embarrassment.

Besides, he didn’t say anything too embarrassing.... and you knocked out as soon as your head met his chest, not even feeling his arm sweetly wrap around your waist to pull you closer. So, you didn’t even hear most of his sleep-talk.

And maybe you were right when you called it fate, that drove the two of you.... because if it wasn’t fate that had you place your head on Aran’s chest at that exact moment, if it wasn’t fate that made you fall asleep at that exact moment..... then, I mean, you would have heard Ojiro not a second later declare aloud that he’s hiding your engagement ring in the office’s cabinet drawer. You would have heard theis the real reason he wasn’t able to fall asleep: because he was so nervous about asking for your hand in marriage before his Japan vs. Canada game tomorrow, when you least expected it.

Cause like, well, that totally would have ruined the surprise.

But you did fall asleep. Fate did that. So him sleep talking honestly never really happened.

And you know what else never happened? 

You never had to feel the cold side of the bed again where your man should be, at least not that night, because Aran Ojiro your new fiancée’s body kept it warm all night, because you were great and helping him fall asleep like a baby....making him just that:

 f*cked out. 

[bbhyeoliskooks]

❀.’* 𝟕 𝐒𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐂𝐫𝐮𝐬𝐡 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐬 𝐘𝐨𝐮 ❀.’*

Wasn’t spending Christmas Eve with your friends supposed to be special? 

.’*/ (ㅇㅅㅇ❀)＼*’..’*/ (ㅇㅅㅇ❀)＼*’.

Pairing: Soobin x Reader (female)

Genre 4 cups of fluff ! And perhaps a cup of angst in there too !

Warnings: Jealousy, a toxic friend who does not care about your feelings, unedited towards the end hehe

(Awe, it’s been quite a while since I wrote for Soobders !! Wanted to do a cute thing for a confession, though it turned out a bit angsty with the jealousy :// but i promise the end is so so cute !! Girlie here snapped on this one, i hope you can see the improvement~~ The fact that I had to do research on this is quite... something.)

.’*/ (ㅇㅅㅇ❀)＼*’..’*/ (ㅇㅅㅇ❀)＼*’.

1. He steals glances at you. 

Wasn’t spending Christmas Eve with your friends supposed to be special? Wasn’t it supposed to be warm and all with interesting gifts and sugary sweet smiles decorating the room? Yeonjun sincerely promised that upon inviting you that this specific one wouldn’t flop unlike the last where you felt the need to go. As of this Christmas Eve dinner with all of your friends, it simply didn’t feel like it. If any other feeling than emptiness, the strong monster of envy rattled against your ribs as your eyes dart to your hidden phone underneath the table.

Fingers swiping on one video, you come into contact with a cheesy title, “7 signs your crush likes you.” The creature of curiosity pulled strings in your head, and you clicked the video with a small grin painted on your lips. Memories of being a middle schooler flooded back into your head that you couldn’t help but smile because of it. The one that you decided to watch reminded you of the good old days where you’d play mash with Yeonjun and Soobin. They’d always believe  they’d get together with their crush in the future as stated on the paper- and you couldn’t lie though; they were such adorable students back then before high school made them grow up with deep voices and long legs for nothing. Nostalgia was really one hell of a drug.

You were sadly snapped out of your trance when said former boy tugged on the sleeve of your stylish red coat. 

“Hey, look,” Yeonjun murmured towards you. You glanced to what he was saying, turning your head over to the direction where he was looking at. When your eyes were met with Soobin’s, you sighed out a breath of relief. Thank gosh he made it. Gratefulness poured out of you as soon as your eyes dawned upon him.

Ah wait a second, Soobin really was here! Finally, you were able to wish him a few seasons greetings! Slowly getting up, you were planning to run up and throw him into one of your tight embraces until Yeonjun dragged you back down by the coat. You were going to yell at him to let you go since that boy can choose to be annoying as heck, but he begged you to stay with him. The needy glint in his eye told you to sit back down. Confusion washed over you in waves, yet once you looked at what he was gazing at, you needed to thank him for saving you to a close mistake. 

Your delusions of being with that boy were crushed when you saw a chic girl linger behind him, holding his hand with a luminous ring on her index finger. Yeonjun’s breath hitched in his throat upon seeing her, and you felt sick to your stomach. She was the perfect embodiment of what people called Heather- a pretty smile and a charming aura whichever place she entered. Insecurities you tried your best to conceal inside rose back up again, and you felt the need to throw them up on the empty plate before you. Self doubt like these were the worst, especially when it could play a key role in losing the love of your life. 

With that being said, it was safe to say that you hated her already. 

It’s just... ugh, that girl gifted you with a weird gut feeling as if you’ve seen her before. Morals and views reminding you not to became a greedy monster, you knew you couldn’t hate her without evidence that she was a terrible person, but seriously, what else could that suffocating feeling be? Why did she seem so familiar to you with that long, platinum blonde hair dancing whenever she swayed and deep, indigo eyes who could capture about anybody there? 

Platinum blonde hair... deep, indigo eyes.... a pretty face- 

Wait a minute... isn’t she your old best friend from sophomore year?!

As if on cue, you watch as Soobin’s hands trail to the back of the same girl, feeling the world you imagined with your unrequited love to crash down on your weak shoulders, harshly and indefinitely. 

A blaring advertisement pops up from your phone, warning you that what you were watching made a grand finish. A soft grunt of frustration left your lips. This night was going to be the worst one yet, you felt it resonate in your bones. And the endearing way he chuckles at whatever she says is enough. The video is stupid; you already have enough information to know that he doesn’t like you. 

2. He flirts with other girls but when you aren’t around, he immediately stops.

The night was going... so-so.

At first, you planned to dip and make it up to Yeonjun later, but something in your heart urged you in place whenever you stole a glance at Soobin. Maybe it was the way he sent reassuring looks towards your direction, telling you that he’ll be right there later. Maybe it was the way his doe eyes twinkled if you chose to join in the conversation. Maybe it was how you knew deep down inside that no other girl could compare to you. You felt selfish because of these burdening feelings. It was as if fate was making fun of you, mocking you for falling for Soobin. You watched your old friend and Soobin flirt all dinner, so the last thing you wanted to do was eat.

Your attention instantly snaps to the other side of the table where your friend is grabbing a keen knife. Soobin offered to give his to you since there were none left in sight- perhaps a mistake from the waiter, but you declined with a tense jaw from gritting your teeth for too long. The food had already arrived, although you barely noticed due to the envy. Yeonjun ordered fancy steaks for all of you, and guilt seemed to swallow you up from how much you were visibly hesitant to dive into what the others were eating.

A strange, constrained grunt from your old friend snaps you from out of your thought bubbles. You hurriedly glanced in her direction, surely not disappointed at what she was pulling. You swore you almost burst into laughter at what foolery she was showing. Who knew someone could be this- this stupid?! No matter how much she tried, she couldn’t cut through the steak with the knife given to her, causing her a lot of embarrassment. The tips of her ears turned tomato red as she daintily pressed through the meat with all of her might.

Well, wasn’t this certainly a sight to see. 

Unknowingly, the corners of your lips curl up into a smirk. Did she know how much of a fool she looked right now? She couldn’t be that stupid, you remembered how smart she called herself back in high school. What’s wrong with her that she couldn’t even cut a measly steak?

...oh my goodness, what’s wrong with you? Your hand flew up to slap yourself in the forehead, but fortunately no one saw. You were crazy, absolutely crazy. Did you deem yourself as a horrible person for thinking about their downfall? ...yes, but it doesn’t matter! 

Soobin saw how much trouble she was going through and like a good person, smiled and lent a helping hand. Literally. 

He gently placed his hand on top of theirs, guiding the knife so that it could pierce through the meat. She giggled at his kind efforts, having the audacity to move much closer to him by shuffling her chair. You covered your mouth with your hand so that you wouldn’t audibly gasp. Both you and Yeonjun share a knowing look towards each other after that, eyebrows furrowed and all. 

Looking back down at your plate, you forced yourself to eat through the situation. But you weren’t able to at all. It seemed the repulsion at how flirty and good looking both of them were made your stomach do flips. Suddenly, the steak on your plate looked disgusting.

In no time, it seemed that all of the appetite you built up earlier somehow disappeared into thin air. You no longer felt like eating whenever your eyes took a look at that new cute “couple” over there. They could’ve been dating for a while now, and you had no clue, like you always did. It just wasn’t your business. You swam a little bit more into your memories with her. She knew you liked Soobin from long ago, and she still did this? Guess who has no intention to get in new touch with an old friend after this “warm, loving dinner” as stated from Yeonjun’s invitation.

Drawing a heavy sigh from your lips once more, your eyes steadily dart to the food on your plate again. In response, your stomach churned as if you were riding a heightened ferris wheel. The feeling of fear penetrated your throat, pulling out a lump you couldn’t control. You had no clue how you were going to finish so much of this Christmas dinner that you sincerely desired to throw up. 

3. He gets protective whenever someone he doesn’t like comes near you. 

“Hey, you good, Y/N? You’re basically picking at your plate and not eating any of it,” Yeonjun whispers over to you. You look up from the abandoned green veggies on your plate and plaster on a smile for him. Obviously he would be able to tell right away since he was one of your best friends, but that’s what you wanted him to see. Good thing you were close to him so that nobody would be able to hear what you were saying.

With a shrug of your shoulders you inch closer to him, whispering in his ear as well, “yes, I’m clearly doing fine here. It’s not like jealousy is literally eating me alive because he has a crush on my best friend who knows I like him.”

Yeonjun chuckled a little bit at this before punching your shoulder. “Cheer up, bun! I promise it’ll all be alright in the end. After all, I am one of Soobin’s friends who knows everything about him~~” You only smiled at his supposedly sweet gesture. His words were of course comforting, but it did as little as it could to ease your heart.

Placing your head on his shoulder with a timid frown on your face, you murmured a quick thank you to him. One way or another, you were going to have to pay back your debt to him even if he got you all red in the face. “Yeah, you definitely are, bun. You definitely are.”

Little did you know that Soobin was frowning at how you and Yeonjun suddenly went all buddy-buddy with each other before stuffing a few more pieces of bread into his mouth.

4. He gives you a nickname.

From the corner of your eye, you see Soobin shoot you a worried look. His lips are pursed together into a straight line which only makes you roll your eyes. So he was acting like he cared about you after ignoring you for a rat, huh...

“I can see that you’re not eating, buttercup? Is there something that’s bothering you... on Christmas Eve?” That boy did not just- the word buttercup was really not the word you wanted to fall out of his lips right now. He could’ve called you whatever, heck even your name although it wasn’t a serious situation. Buttercup was a cute nickname he gave to you when you first became friends. You tried to convince yourself that you absolutely hated what he called you, but the quick pace of your heart begged to differ.

Choi Soobin is not the boy you love. Choi Soobin is only your best friend! Choi Soobin does not like you! Choi.. Soobin is who you’ll always love, regardless. Your twisted mind kept tugging you back and forth so briskly that you wanted to throw up from all of those flutters. It was clear that insanity was stretching you as if you were a four year old’s putty judging from the sour expression on your face, but of course nobody seemed to notice. 

Furrowing your tense eyebrows at him, all of the anger built up from tonight washed over your body like a dangerous tsunami. 

“Aren’t you supposed to be courting my old friend right now? I thought you guys were going to be a couple judging from how stupid you two are acting, so don’t worry about lil’ ol’ buttercup me!,” you deadpan, gradually becoming enraged enough through the sentence to slam your poor phone onto the wooden table. It’s like you couldn’t control yourself anymore. Your face is furiously burning with anger at the sight of them holding hands, and you happen to sigh exasperatedly which makes all of the customers turn their heads from worry. Some of them were raising amused eyebrows at your attitude so much so, that you wanted to disappear from the face of the Earth.

Crap. You should’ve been watching what you said as to not cause a scene. Did it really matter though? You needed to let out your emotions one way or another! Yeonjun helps alleviate your overwhelming emotions by tightening the hold on your hand under the table but you simply couldn’t help it any longer. Why the hell did you have to have a crush on someone who was too oblivious for his own good? He shouldn’t be that dense! You swore that he was a wall; you couldn’t talk to him about what you felt because for sure, he wouldn’t understand. 

And as always, Soobin nods his head nonchalantly at your words- causing the hope that he’d know about what you felt inside to eventually shrivel up and die. 

5. He stares at you longingly whenever you aren’t looking.

“Woah, take a chill pill, Y/N,” the girl in front of you croaked out after sipping on a little bit of her special red wine.

You shoot a glare at her, and go back to eat what was expected of your steak- which was pretty much 75% of it left. That was the only thing you could be proud of to arise from this night since you didn’t want to throw up whenever you chose to speak. Speaking of which, there was no point in talking anymore when you knew that everyone would stare at you. Which reminds you. You should probably hide your face now since at least ten people are watching this scene go down. Upon realizing this, you shoo them away with your hands and a few of them awkwardly turned back as if they weren’t watching what happened. Yeonjun chuckles hysterically, shaking his arms around like a lunatic so that the attention would be shielded away from the table. 

Under your breath, you mutter a few words lowkey wishing that she would hear. A few words couldn’t her, right? With someone who’s personality was bigger than their plastic lips, you were sure it wouldn’t hurt. “I bet he doesn’t even like you since you keep hogging him all night.”

Something told you she heard due to the sour expression written all over her face.

Immediately, the “kind girl” as Soobin called her started insulting you out of the blue once she comprehended your words. Deeper and stabbing into your heart, her voice was as civil as she could put it to be, but the comments she made were totally out of line. You wanted to respond back with something, however she kept interrupting you with that degrading voice. 

“God, it’s like you’re trying so hard to stay with these two! Haven’t you gotten the memo that none of them like you? Who would’ve known that lil’ ol’ buttercup here would be such a slut when back in high school, was the prude of the school?”

You were going to say something- anything to retort back to her until she cut you off again. You really had no power compared to that witch at all, she only made you feel smaller as vulnerability surrounded you, overwhelming your thought process. Her words dripped venom while the anger rose in you similar to that as of a bread rising up under the influence of yeast. It was getting difficult by the minute not to slap her since Soobin was right there and easily unknowingly holding you back. 

“After all, you don’t want to embarrass yourself like you do every day. I’m surprised your friendships stayed long enough from high school,” her eyes wandered to your reddening cheeks, feeling much satisfaction fill her for clearly hurting your feelings. “And with that ugly Christmas sweater too? Poor girl, I can see why Soobin would reject you even though I know for a fact you hadn’t even confessed your stupid feelings to him.”

Not a sound of Yeonjun’s endearing chuckles echoed beside you, not a clatter from Soobin’s fork crashed against his plate, and not even a customer’s murmuring voice filled the whole restaurant. All of you remained silent- even the staff and chefs to see what happened next, witnessing that of a melodrama. The only thing repeating in your head was... how could she have the audacity to do that in a public restaurant?

It was like she could see all of your insecurities, both inside and out. The boys couldn’t bring themselves to say anything in fear that it would only do more damage compared to their intentions. Soobin was just as shocked as you were that she would say that aloud where anybody could hear you. Yeonjun shut his mouth, not being able to protect you because he knew the girl would only keep him silent with menacing words. Basically, both of them were wimps who chose not to help you, and that hurt you the most. 

As if she could read your mind, she laughed off all the attention towards your table. “Acting innocent now, are you? I’m not surprised. Just leave if you’re not going to let anything come out of that big, stupid mouth.” 

That was the final straw.

6. He plays hard to get.

“I-I guess I’m not needed here, then.”

You get up from your spot next to Yeonjun, fumbling to grab your phone on the table. Your eyes are practically brimming with tears as you do your best to hide them with the sleeve of the ugly Christmas sweater she was talking about. Both Soobin and Yeonjun are yelling for you to come back, but you no longer have the pride to see the smirk on that insane woman’s face. If she was going to insult you just to raise herself up, then you could leave one night to save you the embarrassment. She just degraded you in front of everybody, and didn’t say an apology if not more, feel sorry for doing so.

You sprint over to the entrance with tears in your eyes, slamming the door against the brick wall of the building. The customers were gossiping about what just happened, but you didn’t care anymore. All of the emotions were pouring out of you while you pathetically let tears out like a love-struck fool. Now you certainly had no reason to stay, even if the boys were waiting back for you. Good thing nobody was there or else you would’ve gotten angry at them for the littlest of things. Kicking the pile of snow that built up over the events of the dinner, you could see that your frustration was barely restrained.

The crystal snowflakes did little to calm you down as some caught onto the tip of your nose. It had been a while since snow waltzed from up above on this very day, but you couldn’t care less. 

A clear night sky is what you’re met with before you feel yourself plop onto the wooden bench. A disappointed sigh is undone from your lips due to the fact that Soobin or even Yeonjun hadn’t chased after you. You made a scene for one of the reasons one of them would chase after you so that one person, at least one would come over and give you some form of attention- unlike what happened all night! Of course you wanted Yeonjun to come so that you could rant what occupied your head, but you bothered him more than enough. He was always one to listen and somehow had a couple pieces of advice every time you asked him for a solution.

You felt your eyelashes flutter by themselves in the frosty air before forcing them shut. You were simply disappointed that the dinner was all wasted because of a stupid crush. 

This Christmas Eve was supposed to be special with everyone there... if only your toxic friend chose not to stir up some trouble tonight. Why did Soobin have to invite her anyway? He didn’t know what she could do to sabotage anyone there, including you. For the time being though, you chastised yourself for being so stupid months before. It wasn’t the first time that she made a move on Soobin in order to anger you, but that’s for another day. Foolish enough, you thought back then that forgiving and forgetting would be good to salvage the remnants of the warm friendship you once had. 

7. He makes it clear that he likes you. 

Perhaps 15 minutes passed before you decided to go back inside and apologize to the boys for ruining the dinner with your temper tantrum. It would be so so so awkward with Soobin, considering that she screamed you liked him, but a little bit of acting would cover it up. Perhaps you were a good actor already! He was oblivious to those warm feelings you owned anyway, and maybe after leaving with Yeonjun you would tell him that none of the things she said was true. Apologies and kindness would be able to make up for it, they just had to. Of course you wouldn’t say sorry to that monster, but hey! It’s Christmas Eve and acting civil is the best thing to do in this situation.

Christmas Eve, and yet you were still disheartened nobody showed up. 

Dropping your phone into your purse, you get up from your icy spot on the bench and reluctantly took a few steps to the entrance. The death ring of the jingling bell ceases you in place, and you gasp at the boy who was staring at you with soft eyes. They looked much warmer than earlier when you got the guts to yell at him, so you felt guilty for blaming all of your faults on the boy who was only worried for you. 

Breathless, he dashed towards you- heels clicking against the pavement and gently intertwined both of your hands. 

“Buttercup, I’m so sorry for what she said. Just please don’t cry. I can’t stand seeing you cry.” With the tip of his thumb, he delicately wiped what was left of your tear stains. Then rubbing both of your cheeks in an attempt to warm your face up, he stared down at you obviously worried. 

Seeing how much he cared for you made you grin at his endearment. “Soobders, it’s not your fault! She said things that she shouldn’t have, but I know you guys wouldn’t believe it...” your voice trailed off when you glanced at him, afraid that he really did, “r-right?”

Raising an eyebrow, the tall boy seemed to grow taller in front of you, looming over you in disbelief. You gulped that weird lump in your throat that arose from crying earlier and tried to present yourself as not nervous. Surely, he had to believe you! There wasn’t enough preparation you could do to be rejected from a best friend... Scared and creeped out by how that monster remembered, you hoped that you wouldn’t have to tell them for the second time that you actually really liked him.

The way he remained tall in front of you begged to differ.

Bringing his face closer to yours, a deep frown was etched onto his lips each second he stared at your nervous features. You were grinning awkwardly at how close you two were, but he didn’t seem to notice. Instead, he was more focused on the fact that you couldn’t trust him even if he was one of your confidants. Suspicious, he pulled away at the last second when both of your noses were barely touching. “Something’s wrong with you, and you’re hiding it. You tell me everything and I want to know it, so... what’s on your mind tonight?”

Boy, was he persistent. That caused you to roll your eyes. Couldn’t he just act oblivious for this once? You would gladly get on your knees to beg for him not to barge in your business for the meantime. There’s no way you could confess without preparing first since it’d shatter you once the deed was done.

Unbeknownst to you, Soobin only found this gesture to be confusing since you’d never had an attitude once in front of him. He assumed something was seriously wrong because you tried not to let rude words from others affect you... His date back there must’ve hit a nerve, and done a good job at that. One thing he would do tonight was comfort you until both of you could go back to the dinner table together, plus scare off the woman if you allowed him.

“How about we go back to the table? I didn’t mean to cause a commotion.” Soobin shook his head slowly, his black bangs moving to cover his brown, chocolate eyes. “Tell me what’s wrong,” he presses on further while moving closer to you. It was unbearable- everything. From how near he was to feel his breath fan over your lips, from how his dark eyes urged you to tell him what was going on, to you holding your breath, not allowing to suck in a pocket of air for the pounding beat of your heart. You became flustered at how close he is and backed away into the pile of snow you saw earlier. 

Stop, stop! You needed to keep composure!

“Like I said, you don’t have to worry about it. I just wanted to get some fresh air because I felt suffocated in that place where everyone was staring at us. I’m so sorry for making you guys feel embarrassed, this is all my fault.”

“But it isn’t your fault! I should’ve dug deeper into her intentions before inviting her over. You know fully well that nobody will replace you so please, buttercup? Tell me what’s bugging you,” he pleaded, “I know everything about you, but you’re hiding something and that’s making me go crazy.”

Well, that little- of course you had to hide it! Was he that dumb?!

“Are you serious?! You know everything about me?! She said that I liked you since I met you- and hell, that’s true! I just- I really really like you! You haven’t been seeing all the signs I send you, no matter how much I try. It’s clear to everyone that I like you, but you don’t know it- the only person I desperately want to know about how I feel! Something in me must’ve snapped when you flirted with them back there, and I couldn’t help myself! The jealousy just slammed me against the ground and-” before you could speak any longer, Soobin shushed you silent with his lips against yours softly.

It was a way to shut you up; you instantly stopped ranting as soon as he brought you in deeper with his intoxicating lips. He tasted as sweet as strawberries, encouraging you to relish in the feeling of finally having someone you pined for so long. Your words fell into his mouth as you kissed him back immediately, bringing him closer to your freezing arms. His chest pushed against yours until your back hit the cold brick walls.

Warm butterflies fluttered in your stomach, shooting out swirls of what you called fuzzies to run through your veins. It was finally what you waited for. 

It’s love.

Soobin’s hand lingers to the one you placed on his chest, clutching it as if it was the last time. You chuckled at his eagerness, but that doesn’t mean either of you pulled away! Because seriously, you don’t have to watch a video to know that he likes you for the nth time. It’s the way that he giggles into the soft yet passionate kiss you both share that you finally know- after all this time, your crush really does like you. 

.’*/ (ㅇㅅㅇ❀)＼*’..’*/ (ㅇㅅㅇ❀)＼*’.

Posted: 11/18/20- 1:08am

Tags:

@honeijun-writes !! honeibunch, i finished it after a while !! yayaya, thank you for waiting 🥺<33

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Second Chances - Mark (Midsommar)

Warning: Major spoilers for the movie, drug use, this fic is dogshite, toxic relationships, and just overall fucked up situations

~~~~~~~~~~

(my gif actually)

“Dani, do you really think it’s a good idea to go?”

Dani sighed heavily when you asked that exact question for the fourth time while she was marking her calendar for when their flight to Sweden would take place. “Yes, Y/N. I’ll be fine. I’m fine.”

You knew she wasn’t fine.

“I just, I do think getting out of this tiny little apartment would be good for you...but does it have to be on the other side of the world?”

Dani scoffed. “It’s not on the other side of the world, babe, it’s just across the Atlantic.”

“It’s far enough.” You pouted. “Plus, going with that guy isn’t a good idea either.”

“You’ve known Christian as long as you’ve known me, Y/N. You should know his name by now.”

“I do know his name, I just don’t like saying it.”

Dani frowned. “He’s my boyfriend, you’ve gotta learn to accept him at some point.”

You shook your head. “He doesn’t give you what you need, Dani. He’s terrible at supporting you all the time. He’s an asshole.”

“It’s my relationship. Not yours.” Dani snapped, quickly sighing in frustration and sitting next to you. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped.”

“No, I’m sorry. I...just want what’s best for you, that’s all.”

Dani smiled weakly, placing an arm around your shoulders and pulling you in for a side hug. “I know, babe, I know. I gotta believe this trip to Sweden is exactly what we need.”

“I really hope so, for your sake.”

Dani subtly wiped away a shed tear off her face, faking a wide smile. “So, did you decide if you wanted to go to the party tonight?”

“Depends, is Mark gonna be there?”

“You know he is.”

“Then no.”

“Come on, Mark’s a good guy.” She’s stifled a chuckle.

“Girl, you can’t even keep a straight face.” You laughed.

“You used to be date him and actually enjoyed spending time with him, ya know.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me.”

“Please, it’ll be fun! Pelle and Josh will be there too, it won’t just be Mark.”

“Josh is a smart ass who gets on my nerves. I mean, who the hell studies anthropology?”

“Hey!”

“Oh hush, you’re studying psychology.”

Dani rolled her eyes. “Okay, Ms. Environmental Scientist.” She said, making you chuckle. “So, are you coming to that party with me or what?”

You didn’t really enjoy going to parties...like, at all. Even if Dani invited you to one, you always made some sort of excuse to get you out of going. But ever since the incident with her family, you felt you needed to spend every waking moment with her, mostly out of fear that you’d lose her forever. You probably spent more time with Dani than her so called boyfriend. 

You felt selfish for feeling pained that Christian was the first one she called when she got the news. You knew her family, actually made an effort to get to know them unlike Christian, and always saw her parents as your own and her sister was always kind to you. You felt like you lost a lot too, but you didn’t allow yourself to feel that way for long, not when they weren’t actually your family. If you were being honest, you haven’t allowed yourself to grieve at all. You spend most of your time taking care of Dani, never having the time to do anything for yourself.

The company Dani kept also was one of the reasons you never wanted to go to one of those parties. Pelle was nice, you could actually see him as a friend. Josh was a know-it-all. To be fair, you were a know-it-all too, but at least you didn’t brag about it every chance you got.

You couldn’t stand Christian. You always saw how awful Christian treated Dani, and how she just took it. One day, you actually almost got into a psychical fight with him for how he gaslighted her. Dani didn’t talk to you for a week after that, and after that, you tried not to let your anger out because you didn’t want to lose your best friend.

Mark...god, Mark could be so annoying. You used to be a couple, it’s true. But after seeing him not do anything about his “best friend” mentally abusing his girlfriend, you couldn’t just stay with him anymore, it just didn’t feel right. Plus, him being way too overprotective was not something that you liked in a person. It was heartbreaking since you actually liked him a lot, you could’ve truthfully say you loved the guy.

You didn’t dislike Mark as much as Christian, but he constantly got on your nerves after your break up. But Dani always reminded you how insecure he must’ve been after the fact. Doesn’t excuse his behavior, of course, but it did help keep your anger in check whenever he tried to push your buttons. If he wasn’t such a dick, you probably would’ve seen an actual future with him, that could’ve been happy.

Yeah...you really didn’t want to go to this party. But seeing Dani’s almost pleading face, you couldn’t argue with her.

So, you were dragged to the last party you would attend before Dani and her friends were shipped off to Sweden, until she got back.

You could see the obviously look of annoyance from Christian when you and Dani entered the apartment. He took Dani to the one of the corner’s of the room and you could faintly hear their conversation, “Why’d you have to bring her, Dani? She almost punched me in the nose last time...”

Your fists clenched instinctively, making your nails dig into the soft flesh. It hurt, but at least it kept you from socking the dude in the face like you’ve always had the urge to do. A dull glared expression settled on your face.

“Aw, is someone happy to see me?”

You immediately rolled your eyes when you heard Mark’s voice, him walking up to you with a shit eating grin plastered on his pale freckled face. “No, I think she’s probably thinking up ways to kill you, friend.” Pelle joked, making you smile a little.

“Honestly, he’s not that far off.” You shrugged, half joking.

Mark scoffed, rolling his eyes, brushing off your hurtful comment with a bitter smile. “Why are you even here? We didn’t invite you.”

“I’m here for Dani.”

“Well, we didn’t explicitly invite her either.” Pelle smacked the boy behind his head so you didn’t have to. “Dude, ow! Hey, it’s not my fault Dani’s a buzzkill.”

Almost as if you could only see red, you were about to punch the ever loving fuck out of his handsome stupid gorgeous face when Christian came up and pulled you out of the room.

“What the fuck do you want?” You hissed, forcibly pushing him away from you.

“Hey, hey, hey, I’m not looking for a fight. Okay? I have to ask you something.” He sighed.

“Spit it out then.”

“Do you want to come to Sweden with us?” He asked monotone, not hiding the glare directed to you.

“Wow, you must really want me to go.”

“It was Pelle’s idea. He thinks it would be good for Dani.”

“Since when do you care what’s good for Dani? Oh, wait, you don’t. It seems Pelle cares more for her than you do.”

“I care about Dani, okay? I care. That’s the only reason I was convinced to ask you. Please, just...she needs you. She’s your best friend, you don’t want to let her down, do you?”

Gaslighting. You knew that Christian wouldn’t be able to convince you without his number one douchebag power to make your heart bleed more than it already does. He didn’t even have to ask a second time.

And next thing you knew, you were on a plane headed to Sweden. Of course, they had to torture you with booking you a seat next to Mark. But you could handle it for Dani.

“God, I can’t wait to see all those Swedish ladies.” Mark mused, a slight smirk on his face, knowing that comment would upset you.

If those Swedish ladies had any sense, they’d stay away from the giant man completely, is what you wanted to say. But deciding to keep your comments to yourself, you just tried not to gag, rolling your eyes and keeping your eyes trained out the window, seeing the ground getting farther and farther away until your flying above the clouds.

“Silent treatment, huh? I always took you for a social butterfly.” He teased.

You took a deep breath, turning to look at him with a sickeningly sweet smile. “You do know there’s a mosquito flying around your head, right?”

The smirk on Mark’s face quickly went away, turning into a panicked expression. “Where? Where?” He almost shouted, flailing his arms around his head to swat away the imaginary insect. His panic made you laugh. You felt evil, but you convinced yourself he deserved it. When he heard you laugh, he quickly realized you lied. “Not fucking funny.” He pouted, running his hands through his hair, still paranoid.

You sighed when he kept a frown on his face, still looking around for that fake fly. “I swear, there’s no fly. This is the cleanest plane I’ve ever seen in my life, okay? There wouldn’t be any bugs in here.” You never could stay mean for long, even if it was Mark. The small grateful smile Mark gave you made it worth it, and suddenly felt your heart yearn for him against your will.

Many hours later and you finally arrived in Stockholm, only to be told you guys had to travel four more hours to get to Hälsingland. “Oh my god!” Mark whined, like a little bitch you might add.

Thankfully, you always came prepared, sticking some ear buds in and blasting music at full volume to avoid possible small talk and annoying remarks from the two frat bros. You really loved your preparedness after taking your ear buds out for one second only to hear Mark talking about seeing some video about a woman with three clits, what a moron, a cute moron...

You looked at the time, it was nearing 6 pm, but the sky was still blue as ever. It was a bit unnerving, but you tried to ignore the sense of dread you felt when you guys finally arrived to one of your destinations.

You tried not to laugh as Mark pulled his socks over his jeans and walking in a panic to try to avoid potential insect threats in the grass. “Dude, just fucking walk!” Josh fussed.

“Don’t you see all the bugs?!”

“I’m sure all those bugs are much more terrified of you than you are of them.” You voiced.

“Yeah, well, what if they’re so scared that they gang up to attack me in retaliation, huh?”

You rolled your eyes, speeding up your pace to catch up with Dani. Pelle introduced his friend, Ingemar, and his friends, Simon and Connie. They seemed like good people, until they pulled out the shrooms.

It’s not like you hated drugs, you smoked pot pretty much every other day before bed, but shrooms looked hardcore compared to grass. You did not want to partake. But Dani surprised you when she accepted the offer of the tea. “Do you think that’s a good idea, Dani?” You asked concerned.

“She can think for herself.” Christian voiced with a happy and calm tone, but you didn’t mistake the threatening undertone in his voice.

“Hey, it’s okay. Promise.” Dani reassured. You just didn’t want her to have a bad trip or anything, it’s not what she needed, as if you actually knew what she needed. You didn’t even know what you needed half the time. “Are you going to?” She asked, her hand holding onto the bag of shrooms outstretched to you.

“Oh, no. I’m good.” You backed away slightly.

“Are you sure, Y/N?” Mark asked mockingly. “You gonna be a pussy?”

Your eyes narrowed in annoyance. If only looks could kill...You grabbed the bag, popping a couple mushrooms in your mouth, immediately cringing in disgust at the taste. You chewed quickly and swallowed, almost regretting the action as soon as you did so. Since when was Mark of all people able to successfully peer pressure you into doing something you didn’t want to do? The fuck?

“There’s a nice place to sit over here, guys!” Pelle voiced, motioning the group over to a tree in the middle of the field.

It didn’t take that long for the drugs to kick in. You’d never taken shrooms before, but you definitely noticed when you came up due to how the world around you was starting to look warped, almost like nature was breathing. You felt more appreciative of nature in that moment, and with Pelle talking all philosophical like, it wasn’t hard to relax into the sweet embrace of the drug.

You looked over to Dani, she was the most calm you’ve ever seen her, but you weren’t sure if that was a good thing. You snapped out of the thought, not wanting to hyper focus on a drug. “Oh fuck, a new person.” Christian groaned.

“What? I don’t want new people right now!” Mark whined.

“Now who’s being a pussy.” You mumbled, loud enough for him to hear it.

“I’m going lay down. Everyone else lay down too.” Mark settled on the ground, still breathing heavily. “Guys, do it, it feels so nice. Josh, Y/N, can you lay down please?”

“Fuck off.” You spat while Josh did as he was asked.

“Y/N, please, lay down.” You furrowed your brows when you heard the desperation in his voice, almost like he was going to cry.

“Jesus, fine.” You huffed, laying down on the soft grass.

The sun shining through the leaves of the trees was enough to put you back into a relaxed state, almost giggling at the warped rays of light. “This is nice...” You whispered to yourself.

You jolted when Dani stood up all of a sudden. “I need to go for a walk.” Dani voiced, the waver in her voice clear as day to you.

“Dani, are you okay?” You stood up, wobbling slightly, Dani’s figure waving as she walked away.

“Fine, I’m fine.”

You wanted to follow her, but were you capable enough to give her support if you were high as a kite? It didn’t matter at the point. You probably stood there trying to decide for about five minutes before you actually starting walking in the same direction Dani went, but then it was too late. You didn’t see her anywhere.

Walking into the woods, you immediately got lost in nature, enjoying the colors that seemed to be amplified from the drug. You smiled to yourself, not even the arms wrapping around your shoulders could force your mouth to pull downwards. “Hi.” Mark whispered, giggling as he tightened his embrace.

“What?”

“What?”

You turned yourself around in his arms. “Why’d you follow me?”

“I’m not allowed to see what my friend is doing out in the woods?”

“I’m looking for Dani, and we’re not friends.”

Mark pouted. “We used to be more than friends. Why’d we ever break up?”

You frowned. “Cause you excused Christian’s behavior towards Dani. Plus, you were always a dick.”

“Rude. And to be fair, I’ve been trying to convince Christian to break up with her. They should’ve called it quits awhile ago.”

“The first thing you’ve said in your entire life that’s actually correct. How’re you an undergrad again?” 

If you were sober, you would have never let Mark lean in and kiss you. At least, that’s what you hoped you would’ve done. But his lips were so soft and he was so gentle, you almost wished you were sober to experience the kiss better. It almost felt nostalgic in a way, even though it hadn’t been that long since you two broke up. You had to stop yourself from leaning back in for more when he pulled away.

“You reciprocated.” Mark smiled softly, caressing your face gently.

“Did I? I didn’t mean to, sorry.”

“I miss you, Y/N, a lot. I know you miss me too.” He whispered.

You shook your head and quickly walked away, not feeling like talking about...well, your feelings. Sobering up quickly after that, you kicked yourself for allowing that to happen, even if you happened to enjoy it very much.

You pretty much avoided Mark after the encounter in the woods, you were too awkward to confront your problems with other people, in that regard anyway. But thankfully, six hours after finding Dani peacefully sleeping off the drugs, it was time to hike through even more woods to get to Pelle’s village. 

“So, we’re stopping in Waco before we go to Pelle’s village?” Mark joked.

Yeah, the all white clothing everyone wore did put you off just a bit, almost giving you Jonestown vibes. But they were so nice, taking your bags and giving you strawberries. They seemed like okay people.

You looked over to Mark, rolling your eyes as you saw him exhale smoke from his vape pen. Even in the presence of strangers, he still had no respect apparently. Josh even had to stop him from eating prematurely during one the first meals of the day. The ritualistic part confused you, but you just wrote it off as culture shock.

Sitting in between Dani and Pelle, you almost hit yourself for not remembering a very important fact. “Happy birthday, Dani!” You grinned. “I can’t believe I forgot, I’m so sorry.”

“Oh, it’s okay.” Dani rubbed your shoulder. “Pelle actually gave me a drawing, which was incredibly sweet.” She said, causing him to have a slight blush on his face.

“I actually did get you something, but it’s in my luggage. Make sure to remind me tonight. But what about Christian?” Dani frowned. “He forgot...of course he did.”

“It’s not his fault. I forgot to remind him, that’s all.”

“Dani, you shouldn’t have to remind him.” You scoffed. “Let’s just hope he remembers soon, else I’ll have to castrate him.”

“Anyway, what’s up with you and Mark? You’ve been avoiding him ever since we hiked here.” She whispered.

You internally groaned. “I always avoid Mark.” Dani just gave you an unimpressed look. “Can you like, stop being a mind reader for once in your life?” You whined.

“What happened?”

You sighed, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “We kissed...” You quickly put your hand over her mouth to stop her from squealing like a school girl. “Shh. It was when we were both high. Didn’t mean anything, at all.”

“You’re a terrible liar, you know that right?”

The conversation didn’t sway your decision to not stop avoiding Mark, you were going to avoid him for as long as possible and not even Dani could convince you to do otherwise. But you kept thinking about that kiss, and you suddenly found yourself wondering if there was any shock therapy places in Sweden.

Walking around the village a bit more by yourself to try and get some more bearings, Pelle joined you with his usual calming smile. “How are you liking it here so far?”

“It’s pretty interesting, I’d say. Living in New York never really gave me opportunities to be in nature, so this is great. I probably never wouldn’t come if it weren’t for you, Pelle.”

Pelle nodded. “I felt it was best for Dani, considering. She needs someone she can count on.”

“Yeah. It’s great that you’re looking out for her, it’s like you should be with her instead of Christian.” You cringed. “Oh god, sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Damn it.”

Pelle chuckled nervously. “It’s okay. Speaking of couples, are you and Mark-”

“Nope.” You quickly interrupted. “Not a chance.”

He hummed in thought. “I don’t mean to pry. It’s just, he told me about what happened...”

You groaned. “That little shit.”

"You know, I think you should give him a second chance."

You laughed. "That came out of nowhere."

"No. It didn't. Mark has always had a thing for you. And I probably shouldn’t tell you this but, he always talks about how he regrets how things went between you two. He still cares about you.”

You frowned, the feeling of missing the bastard starting to bubble up in your heart. “We weren’t good for each other. He needs to grow up.”

“Yes, I do agree he’s...a bit immature.” 

“An understatement, Pelle.” You snorted.

“Personally, I am a big believer of second chances. I just think what if I die tomorrow, would I be happy with my choices in life? You never know when that time will come.”

“Jesus, since when have you been so dark?”

“I’m serious, Y/N. You don’t know when you’re gonna die, so I’d try to live life without regrets.” He smiled calmly.

You kept thinking about what Pelle said well into the night. You had trouble getting over the creepiness of his statements at first, but you knew he meant well. You did miss Mark, more often than you’d admit. You hated that you kind of agreed with Pelle about the whole regret thing.

The next morning, you woke up with a terrible headache. Thinking way too hard for hours on end wasn’t good for your brain. But, it did give you some perspective on how you’d go about interacting with Mark. You admitted to yourself that you did want to be with him, but you also didn’t want to rush into giving him another chance, knowing that just a smidge of eagerness would give the man an overinflated ego.

“What was the name of that activity you said last night, Pelle?” Dani asked.

“Ättestupa.” He answered.

“Sounds fun.” You said, half joking. “Wish we knew what was going to happened, but you seem to love surprises.” You directed to Pelle, a cheeky smile on your face.

From afar, Mark couldn’t help but glare at Pelle. To anyone one else, you were just being friendly, and if Mark had any sense at all, it would’ve just been a friendly smile to him too. He couldn’t help but feel jealous, but even he knew he had no right to be jealous since you two weren’t together. Maybe that was his problem, he thought, being too overprotective when you were in a relationship with him. God, he knew being an immature bastard would bite him in the ass one day. He just didn’t realize someone important to him would be scared away in the process.

The brief eye contact the two of you made threw you for a loop, that sense of longing for one another.

“Can you two stop eye fucking each other, please?” Josh voiced rudely. Strangely, it didn’t phase the two of you. Josh only rolled his eyes. “Fine. Miss breakfast then.”

You eventually forced yourself to look away from Mark, the both of you following the rest of group outside for the meal. Of course, the only seat left was next to Mark. How convenient...

Mark was silent as you stood next to him, taking short glances at you and the ground nervously. “Somebody should tell those girls they’re walking stupid.” He joked, trying to lift some of the tension. It didn’t work. 

A boy rung a bell, an old man and woman walked two their assigned seats, and everyone only sat down until they did. Another rack of culture shock moved through you were the couple started chanting in what you assumed was Swedish, but it was honestly hard to tell.

After that, you just ate your food in silence. You were annoyed that you were too awkward to even look in Mark’s direction. But eventually, he cleared his throat to speak. “Did you sleep well?”

It was odd, hearing him sound so timid and quiet. “Uh, I guess so. I don’t really remember falling asleep.” You chucked nervously.

“So...yesterday-”

“Please, don’t.” You interrupted with a huff.

“I think we should talk about it at least.”

You bit your lip in thought, silently agreeing with him. “Not right now. Maybe after, whatever Ättestupa is. Okay?”

He sighed, nodding his head. “Fine. Fine.”

Mark stayed behind as you, your friends, and the rest of the Hårga journeyed to wherever this activity was taking place. You all were standing at the bottom of a cliff, waiting. “What’s this activity supposed to be?” You asked, but no one gave you an answer.

You sighed, crossing your arms around yourself. Whatever was supposed to happen was taking a long time, you almost felt bored. But soon you really wished you’d stayed behind with Mark back at the village.

Everyone watched as the old woman stood at the edge of the cliff, holding her arms outstretched to the sky. You could sense Dani hyperventilating, and you also felt a feeling of dread. You had no idea what was happening, and it scared you.

You let out a loud gasp as the woman fell from the cliff, her body falling onto a stone platform below, her face hitting it hard enough to completely mutilate any recollection that this woman was a human being once. Her face was caved in, it almost didn’t feel real.

You were in silent shock, not comprehending anything else around you, even with how loud Simon and Connie were freaking out.

All you could do was watch as the old man did the same, walking off the cliff and hitting the platform leg first.

“Oh my god, he’s still alive...”

All of the Hårga cried out when they saw the poor man was still alive, sharing his pain that he must’ve been feeling. A few members of the village ended his suffering, taking a large mallet and caving in his face like his partner in the senicide.

One of the elders, Siv, said that taking their own lives was a great joy and that this ritual had been done for many years. You couldn’t believe how barbaric these people were when they were so nice at first. Why were all these people so unfazed by seeing their own people die violently in front of them?

All you could do was follow everyone to the village in silence. You did the same as Dani. You needed to be by yourself right now. You sped walked to the woods surrounding the village, leaning against a tree in exhaustion. Did that really happen, you asked yourself. 

You slid down to the ground as you let the tears start flowing. You didn’t want to be in this place anymore, how could you? You thought back to what Pelle said. He knew that the ritual was happening and he didn’t warn you guys at all. Why would he do that?

“Y/N?” You heard a voice call out. You didn’t answer, you didn’t trust your voice not to come out distorted from your sobbing. Finally making his way through the clearing, Mark saw you hugging yourself on the ground in tears. “Are you okay? I...heard about what happened.”

“No. No, I am not okay. I just saw two people jump to their fucking deaths!” You tried not to cry.

Mark was never good an emotional support, so he simply walked over and sat next to you as you cried. You didn’t know how he managed to pull you onto his lap without you noticing, but you didn’t find it in yourself to care, so you just held onto him like your life depended on it. You didn’t want him to let you go.

“I wanna leave this place...” You mumbled.

“I think that’s understandable.”

“How’s Dani? Did you see her at all?”

He shook his head. “No.”

“I don’t want to leave without her. I gotta find her.” You wiped the leftover tears from your cheeks, standing up with along with Mark. “Will you come with us?”

Mark didn't expect you to ask that. “You want me to go with you?”

“I have a bad feeling about this place. I don’t want any one of us to stay here, but I want you and Dani to come with me at least. I...I still care about you too.” Mark blushed as soon as you said that, making you chuckle lightly. “Seeing those poor people die...I don’t want to live with regrets, I already have enough of those. I don’t want to give up on us without trying to make things work. I admit, I gave up on you too easily. I don’t want to do that again. Okay?”

Mark couldn’t help himself, he soon planted a passionate kiss on your lips. You smiled into the kiss, you weren’t afraid of opening yourself up to him anymore. You wanted him, you’ve always wanted him. It just took a rough wake up call to remind you of that.

You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, standing on your tip toes to meet his lips easier. You felt safe in his arms, him holding you so close that the world and the messed up situation you both were in seemed to fade away. But you knew you were limited on time. You both pulled away breathlessly, wearing smiles on your faces.

“I love you.” Mark said, shocking you. “What? Live life without regrets, right?”

You laughed softly. “Yeah, you’re right. I love you.”

“Now, let’s get outta here.”

~~~~~~~~~~

Yes, I left it open ended on purpose. I’d like to think that they escaped the Hårga. But if they didn’t, at least they’re together lmao. 

Whenever I feel bad that Mark died in the movie, I just think to how he must’ve put up a fight since that cunt who led him away had a busted lip. Did he deserve it? Yes, probably. But...but...he was a cutie pie🥺

Also, I’m trying to write a fic with Kenny from We’re The Millers, but IT’S SO HARD. Kenny, in general, is hard to write since he’s so...well...himself. Another thing is that the plot is all over the place and my mind keeps bouncing between a bunch of ideas so, it’s literally starting to look like gibberish. But i’m trying