#typed this out on my lunch break and also it's highly personal so like 🙃

[hexcoreviktor]

As someone in your 30s what have you learned and would you tell someone who is in their early 20s like me

bold of you to assume i've ever learned anything

jk uhm okay

holding grudges is exhausting. being upset is fine, being angry is too. but not indefinitely, you can't live like that forever.

a lot of things don't get wrapped up with a neat little bow, sometimes you don't get the answers you want or need and there simply isn't any closure.

(i guess what these two things basically amount to is that you need to learn to let things go)

being petty usually isn't the way to go. if something makes you unhappy or if someone hurts you, say it, tell them. try to figure it out. or don't and move on. you don't have to let people walk all over you, but don't play stupid ass games.

tell people that you love them. tell them they're important to you and that they make your life better. ik it sounds cliche, but it's true. life's too short not to. more importantly tho, show them. make an effort, show up for them.

you don't owe people anything just because they're family. it's okay to have boundaries or even walk away entirely when all they do is make your life worse. go and make your own family, the one you get to choose yourself.

same goes for anyone actually. cut out people who make you miserable, no one is entitled to being in your life.

being a person in this world can be hard, life is hard, so try to give others and yourself some grace.

related: being kind to others makes it a whole lot easier to be kind to yourself as well.

but also some people are just assholes. there might be a reason for that and you can try to understand, but don't let them turn you into one and stay away from them.

exercising unfortunately does make you feel better, both physically and mentally. as does going outside.

vegetables are the best thing in the world once you figure out how to properly prepare them and which meals to put them in.

turns out drinking enough water is important.

sunscreen + moisturizer. use them.

if you wear bras, make sure they actually fit and are supportive without hurting your back, shoulders or skin.

if you have a uterus, your tummy is never gonna be entirely flat. that's okay. if you don't have a uterus and your tummy isn't entirely flat, that's also okay. having any kind of tummy is okay. actually, as long as you're happy and healthy, your body is fine as it is. you don't exist to fit into some kind of ideal society forces on people.

if you're one of the very few chosen ones, you do look better with bangs than without them because you have the kind of forehead the world simply isn't meant to see and you have to accept that. (this one's actually just for me personally)

but also who cares. you can do whatever you want with your own body. like i said, the only opinion that matters irt your looks is your own.

you don't have to figure out who you are and who you're gonna be for the rest of your life in your 20s. the person you were then most likely won't be the person you are in your 30s. we keep on changing, sometimes in small ways, sometimes a whole lot, and it's so so fun.

same thing goes for sexuality and identity. speaking as someone who thought they were one thing for almost their entire life, only to realize that's actually not the case, like, last year: it's fine to put a label on yourself because it currently fits and to then find an entirely different one later down the line. you're allowed to do that. you're gonna be so much happier once you give yourself that freedom. there's also nothing wrong with not wanting to label yourself at all.

there's no such thing as too old. you're not too old to start a new hobby, learn something new, do that thing you've always wanted to do, start over, be someone else. you're also not too old to still enjoy and love the things you did when you were younger. certainly not in your 20s, but also not at any point after that.

that all i've got for now because thinking and typing is exhausting and my brain is over 30 years old!!! might come back to this once i realize i forgot some really important wisdom, like, 'killing people is bad' or something.