#ty all for being kind. even if we're always strangers in each others worlds. we may have still made each other smile once or twice
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worst place a mfer can send you is on a trip down memory lane
#diary#been looking through a lot of my older stuff rn. like yknow my diary#old doodles and convos and stuff#also realised people have always been really niceys to me here msds#ty all for being kind. even if we're always strangers in each others worlds. we may have still made each other smile once or twice#and isnt that just a lovely truth? to be in a loving worlds#i really do appreciate it. i hope the sun warms you all twice as much as it can me
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HI, IT'S ME! YOUR LOCAL CHAOTIC WEIRDO!!!!! I'M BACK AGAIN LIKE I AM TWICE EVERY WEEK
IT'S MY BOY DAVID THIS TIME! WHY AM I SO HYPER! MAYBE BECAUSE THEY KISSED! AND I HAD TO SUPPRESS MY SCREAMS BCAUSE IM IN CLASS AND THE REST OF MY FAMILY IS OUTSIDE MY DOOR (NOT LITERALLY OFC)
OK OK OK OK OK OK
MAX AND DAVID ARE AT THE LONDON INSTITUTE YESYESYESYES
He rather liked that part in a story – when the hero fell, and everything seemed bleak. It always meant that hope was just around the corner. Because darkness never lasted. It was always followed by light. There was nothing more beautiful than that kind of sunrise.
THIS
I literally live my life by this analogy
AHHH DAVID IS ON HIS TRAVEL YEAR AND MAX IS WITH HIM
SCREAM
well i can't scream because my mom is sitting right there and I have class in 4 minutes so imma smile really wide
“Are you planning to read the entire library during your travel year?” Max chuckled.
“Of course not,” David replied. “I will need longer than a year to accomplish that goal.”
Me.
Wait
does max not being able to make portals have something to do with his lineage?
like
demon parent
ok so my programming class started 2 minutes early but screw programming I'm gonna be studying minds not this shit
ok that's a very bad attitude for someone who needs good grades in this year
Max was always hungry.
this is so me
KIT
KIT
KIT
KIT
KIT
KIT
TY
THEY MENTIONED TY
also if David doesn't become an institute head in the future THEN WHAT'S THE POINT
“Where is the kitchen?” Max interrupted.
max is such a mood
He had told Max that he had centuries to perfect his magic, that there was no need to rush it. Max had given him a noncommittal nod and nothing more.
HE'S GONNA MAKE THE BEST PORTALS YOU'LL SEE
“I won’t tell the Consul,” Kit winked.
At the mention of the Consul, David straightened up. He had been trying to get into Alec Lightwood’s good graces for years now. He didn’t think sharing a room with his son would do him any favors.
DAVID UDUCDFUHKDUHVUHSDH
PLEASE IF WE DON'T GET A CUTE ALEC AND DAVID SCENE SOON
KIT CALLED TESSA MOM
oh my god
Word was that Mr. Herondale had gone back to his obsession with brewing tea.
JACE
I have so many emotions right now but all I'm gonna say is that I'm so so proud of Rafael
“Do you not want to sleep with me?” Max asked.
UH-
WELL-
DAVID STOP THINKING ABOUT THE FUTURE AND ALL THE SHIT
STOP IT
OH MY GOD THE ONE BED TROPE
MAX IS IN HIS ARMS I'M ABOUT TO-
takes a deep breath don't scream. everyone outside this door thinks you're taking programming class
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JUST GET TOGETHER ALREADY
AWW JULIAN PAINTED PORTRAITS FOR THE INSTITUTE
The one of Will Herondale and Tessa Gray – A love that had transcended reality and lasted a lifetime.
The one of James Herondale and Cordelia Carstairs – A love that had started with a lie and then blossomed into nothing but happiness and devotion.
The one of Lucie Herondale and Jesse Blackthorn – A love that had been so powerful that it rewrote the past.
The one of Jace Herondale and Clary Fairchild – A love that had walked through hell and shaken up the heavens.
And then there the final one. The one of Kit Herondale and Tiberius Blackthorn – A love that had survived distance and darkness and doom.
This omg...
He wanted a love story. The kind he read in the books. The kind he saw in these portraits.
But he wasn’t a Herondale. He wasn’t sure if he was destined for that kind of love.
HEY
DON'T THINK LIKE THAT
The first part though
same
He might have been a little too excited. It was biologically impossible to control yourself when you find a stranger reading your favorite book in the whole world.
SO TRUE
“I see you already made a new friend,” Max said.
He sounded a little…odd. As if he was not pleased that David had made a new friend.
honey...
take a guess
can I jump in and bash their heads together?
“You are thinking of conjuring chocolate syrup, aren’t you?” David chuckled.
“How do you always know what’s on my mind?” Max chuckled back.
Because I know you, David wanted to say. I just wish I knew what’s in your heart too.
OH MY GOD I CANT WITH THIS
“You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup! You get chocolate syrup!” Max was yelling, standing on the chair.
They residents laughed harder, and David shook his head fondly. He hoped one day Max would pursue a career in theatre. He was a born showman.
can I have chocolate syrup?
also, the way David is just so fond of him like DYUSDGYJCDYUJM
“By the angel, do you have to be a drama queen about everything?” the boy next to them muttered – not so quietly.
David blinked. That was uncalled for.
But Max being Max was completely unfazed. “Of course I do. My Bapa would be personally offended otherwise.”
exactly you rude little shit
Max often pretended like people’s words didn’t hurt him - just as he pretend that fire doesn’t burn or wounds don’t bleed.
wow ok stop calling me out
Is max jealous??????
is he??????
how are people so good at languages like damn
TY
TY
TY
TY
“Oh my god,” Max groaned. “Is he already telling people to check on me?”
LMAO
using mundane medicine...
that's risky
but it's also something that WILL help
can't warlocks tamper with the blood samples?
A part of him wondered if that’s why he had agreed to send Max away to London – at least for a week. Because sometimes you didn’t want other people to see you were hurting.
alec I really goddamn hope you're dealing with this well
some of whom had even decided to die than get help from a warlock.
alright then gets my knives but you chose this :D
Nobody brought a book down for breakfast if they didn't like to read.
yes but sometimes also to seem busy so people won't bother you or you won't look alone.
“I know,” the boy said as he walked past them to the gate. “I sat on the stairs and thought about life for a few good minutes.”
his family is the one who took over David's previous institute (i can't spell that. marse- marselli- wat??) methinks.
The gang always visited whenever all of them were in the city together. They would have so much fun! Of course, the 'fun' mostly entailed Rafael stopping Georgia from drinking random potions she found in the stalls, Selena stopping Lexi from opening a psychic booth to help people talk to Raziel and of course David stopping Max from running to the gambling booths.
LMAO, I CANT WITH THIS-
Rafe: I am anxiety.
me at any given moment
EW TESTICLES HE'S EATING THOSE-
ok maybe I'm the only person who's really picky when it comes to food and doesn't eat the majority of things
“Anything on Magnus Bane?” Max asked.
“No,” the woman snapped and shoved some of the letters into a bag and hide it under the table. “Leave Magnus Bane alone!”
“Appreciate your loyalty,” Max winked at her and started examining a diary.
I like her.
"Everyone should be participating in this" -my programming teacher
me, an intellectual: participating in what?? goes to the class web THE FUCK IS THAT
“Something for the shadowhunter?” the woman smiled. “Perhaps an unpublished snippet from the Beautiful Cordelia?”
“Do you have any love letters?” David asked.
“Hmmm,” the woman went through the pages. “I do have a correspondence between an Iblis demon and Christopher Lightwood? Would you be interested in that?”
if u don't mind I would love to see both of those-
you know I just remembered I have a computer assignment I need to submit by the end of this week fml
“Never fall in love with an immortal,” she giggled again. “We don’t like staying in one place.”
SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP
MAX WHERE ARE YOU
why are we using x and 3 in programming class what the heck is going on
“I’m not just some warlock,” Max said, his voice low. “I’m Magnus Bane’s son.”
GIVE HIM THAT NECKLACE BACK
we usually have programming once a week on our physical school days and those are fun because my and my friend are continuously passing notes and talking to each other through writing
The scene where Max fought off all the evil people who tried to steal his valuable belonging. He would fight without breaking a sweat and throw magic fireballs at everyone and then get his necklace back. And then he would kiss David in front of everyone and it would somehow rain all of a sudden.
But life wasn’t a movie or a book. Life was just life.
life's boring
fuck life
I just heard a student ask "why are we not taking out the values of b and c" BESTIE I THOUGHT WE WERE DOING PROGRAMMING AND NOT ALGEBRA?????
“I know there wasn’t anyone to protect you before,” Magnus Bane had said. “But we are here now. We will protect you. This will protect you.”
He hadn’t wanted it back then. He didn't even want it even now.
He didn’t want something to protect him. Most importantly, he didn’t want to cover his scar. He didn’t want to hide it. He wasn’t ashamed of it. It wasn’t a mark of a victim. It was the mark of a survivor.
So, David had smiled and given the bracelet back.
“I never wanted to be protected,” David had replied. “I only ever wanted to be loved.”
The warlock had smiled at that and given David a hug. It had felt different than other hugs he had experienced since he had come to New York.
It wasn’t just the magic. Magnus Bane carried so much love inside himself you could literally feel it through him.
I'm gonna cry during my programming class (where we're doing variables apparently all of a sudden??)
this is so beautiful
“I wasn’t talking about Bapa,” Max said now. “I was talking about the other one.”
David chuckled at that. “Oh, yeah. He is definitely going to kill you.”
what flowers would you like at your funeral?
so Jackson has family troubles
I've definitely got that
yeah I know what it's like to be jealous of someone else's perfect family
JACKSON WTF
Is he trying to ruin max's relationship with his family???
oh hell no
JACKSON THE AUDACITY
“One stolen necklace, One broken nose and One bruised cheek,” he said. “And you’ve been in London for less than a day.”
kit seriously? but is he wrong though?
“This is what I get for falling for a Lightwood-Bane,” David sighed and walked through the portal.
WELL AT LEAST HE'S SELF AWARE
Jackson...
in some ways, I can empathize with him. my younger self anyway. but Jackson this is not how you do things
There was a moment of silence and then Magnus Bane giggled.
“I do love it when the quiet ones go feral,” the warlock grinned.
MAGNUS
NOT.THE.TIME
(me too)
“David!” Mr Herondale gasped. “Is your hand okay?”
yup that's Jace y'all
David hated violence. He hated fighting – which he was often not allowed to say out loud considering he was a shadowhunter.
But it was the truth. He hated hurting people – or even things. It made him feel sick.
“It’s alright, Chouchou,” Mr Herondale ran a hand through David’s hair. “Next time, just-”
“Use my words?” David asked.
“Just don’t get caught,” the man winked.
and that is why I would never want to be a shadowhunter.
I know saying that doesn't do anything but when I first read tsc I wanted to be a shadowhunter really badly and damn that was some time ago but now...violence of any kind is my biggest trigger idek why. and I hate that so much because what kind of a person gets triggered by loud voices and fighting EVEN ON SCREEN??? I usually just push myself to watch stuff because it's dumb. I refuse to see trigger warnings before reading a book or watching a show because damn it, I should be able to stand those things I'm, not a child. and it may be doing me more harm than good but I shouldn't feel like this in the first place
okay...that was long
ANYWAY
“David, I appreciate you standing up for Max,” the Consul said. “But next time, please try not to punch anyone in the face.”
“Yes, sir,” David nodded. “Because it’s wrong.”
“Because it means more paperwork for me,” the Consul groaned and then straightened up. “But yes. Absolutely. Very wrong. No punching people!”
LMAO ALEC
Jackson...
oh
oh
oh
I was wrong then
He was grinning. Magnus Bane must have raised hell in the shadow market.
that must have been fun
Max was doing that thing where he was not trying to pout but he was mostly definitely pouting. It made David want to kiss him. But then the Consul spoke, and David reminded himself he didn’t want to be the third person to get punched in the face this evening.
well-
“I understand that Jackson has been through a lot. But that’s not an excuse for him to hurt those around him. I learned that lesson the hard way. So, you shouldn’t excuse his behaviour.”
someone's trauma and pain is never an excuse to hurt others
but that doesn't mean we should invalidate their trauma either
“You can stay back and try to help him. I won’t stop you,” the man got up now. “But if he tries to hurt you-”
“You will unleash hell?” David chuckled.
“Worse,” the other man grinned. “I will unleash Lexi.”
that is much much worse
Books brought him comfort in so many ways. Just holding one in his hands automatically made him feel better.
oh my god
he gets it
I always have a book with me when I'm out even if I'm not gonna get the time to read it because just the weight and comfort of it in my hands or in my backpack brings me so much comfort and helps with my social anxiety so much
no one understands when I try to tell them that
you get it...
someone gets it finally
AYYY IRENE
“David, it’s very sweet that you want to protect Jackson,” Kit pointed out. “But literally no one is buying that. Not even Irene.”
The lynx purred on his lap as if she agreed with Kit.
“I could break into a liquor cabinet,” David said a little indignantly.
David is the nicest you can get
David wouldn’t. Apparently, everyone already seemed to know that - even the lynx he had met five minutes ago.
we are solving something in class and it's really quiet because we're all doing our work (I'm reading the fic so-) and this one person had their mic open and they kept on whispering their steps and it was so weird I cant-
BUT YES DAVID IS A CINNAMON ROLL. EVEN THE LYNX KNOWS
“We were talking about shitty fathers,” Jackson pointed out. “You’re welcome to stay.”
“I’m gonna need something stronger than red wine for this conversation,” Kit chuckled.
I remember that bitch
David used to do it when he was a child. He used to pretend his life was a story. He used to pretend everything that happened to him was happening to some other boy – a boy who wasn’t real. A boy who lived inside a book. Because it hurt a little less when you pretend like it wasn’t happening to you.
But the pain was still very real.
OK YOU CAN STOP CALLING ME OUT NOW
“I fucking hate ogres,” he said through gritted teeth.
“Was your father an ogre too?” Jackson asked.
“He was more like a harpy,” Kit snorted. “He was always flying and fleeing. I didn’t know how deep his talons were in my head until it was too late.”
you really like traumatizing all your characters, don't you?
I really fucking hope the ogre got what he deserved
and if the angel is dead then fuck everyone
“I mean, there was that time when Sebastian Morgenstern turned my father into the endarkened, and then he went around killing people. So, I would say he was more like a zombie,” the man was explaining now. “The zombie father tried to kill me but my brother killed him first.”
“Good lord!” Jackson said in shock.
Kit chuckled softly. “Boy do shadowhunters need therapy.”
they really do
He knew about those from New York. He knew Mr Herondale and Miss Fairchild went for one together.
YES GET THEM THERAPY
“Yikes,” Kit chuckled. “I’d prefer something classier. How about London Boys?”
“None of us are from London though,” Tiberius pointed out.
“The Beatles are not actually beetles, Ty,” Kit chuckled. “It’s just for pizazz.”
damn guys
Then the idea of a band turned into a possible YouTube channel where they would react to cute animal videos.
YS DO IT
“When people do awful things, really awful things, at one point we stop being surprised. Like what Valentine did to his children or what our fathers did to us or what those women did to Rafael. We might have been shocked or disgusted. But it wasn’t unrealistic, was it?”
“I guess not,” the boy said.
“Even when they did the most unimaginable acts of cruelty, it somehow managed to fit into our imagination. We accepted that the world can be unrealistically cruel. The kind of cruelty we will never understand. But why isn’t it the same for kindness? Why is that when someone is too kind, we automatically feel uncomfortable? We judge their intensions or think they are just pretending to be nice. We think they are being unrealistic. Why is that?”
we get so used to cruelty that kindness feels weird
“But that’s how our life works, doesn’t it? It’s a giant ball of what ifs and could have beens and if nots. What if my father had loved me instead of hurt me? Could I have been kinder if I was hugged instead of being abused? Would have I been a different person if not for my trauma? Our lives are an endless collection of theories about our real selves. The one didn’t we never had the chance to become.”
THIS
I used to spend a bunch of time on the what-ifs but those are useless. so screw the what-ifs and live in the present
“I guess we’ll never know, Jackson. None of us will never know how we would have turned out if things had been different for us. We never got the chance to be who were meant to be. Instead, we became who we had to become to survive what we went through. We will never know our true selves. We only know the version of us that made it through all the trauma.”
“Christ, that’s depressing,” Jackson said.
“It is,” David nodded. “But we made it through. We survived. I think we should focus on that.”
you survived. that's what matters
“There is nothing wrong with wanting to be rescued,” David smiled.
I wish I had heard this before...
maybe I don't always have to be strong. maybe it's ok sometimes just want to be saved.
I'm so happy that both Jackson and David found each other
David had learned Gaelic. Jackson had learned how to play the piano.
They had laughed and lived and loved and learned.
And they had survived – one day at a time. The London Boys.
they survived.
I know I'm always key smashing and screaming but these words, these lines, all these chapters mean so so much to me.
“You’ll write to me, won’t you?” David asked, hugging Jackson closely.
“No,” Jackson replied. “I will FaceTime you like a normal person, you weirdo!”
David laughed at that. “I prefer letters. They are more emotional.”
“I’ll text you,” Jackson countered. “With emojis.”
oh to have someone write me letters.
I love writing letters
once at the end of a school year, I wrote little letters to everyone in my class anonymously. even the people who had been mean to me. that was like 1-2 years after my transfer to that school and everyone practically hated me but I wanted to do something nice because who knows what someone is going through. I ended up not putting them in people's desks...
I threw them all away :)
but writing letters is superior
I often write my feelings down and give the letter to someone rather than talk to someone
if you receive a letter from me or a custom-made gift...you have reached my ultimate friendship
oh my god. THIS IS HOW I SHOULD TALK TO ONE OF MY FRIENDS ABOUT MY FEELINGS
It's kind of been a mess between us and I want to talk to her but I didn't know how to.
this is why i shouldn't send asks-
JACKSON CATCHING UP ON MAX AND DAVID
“You know what it means,” Jackson grinned harder. “Also, if that wanker tries to break your heart, I will break his face.”
“You know he is the Consul’s son?” David giggled.
“I’ve done it once and I will do it again,” Jackson shrugged. “He better treat you right.”
"wanker"
I HAVE A BRITISH ONLINE FRIEND AND THEY CALLED OUR AMERICAN ONLINE FRIEND A WANKER
AND OUR OTHER BRITISH FRIEND JOINED IN
WHILE ALL THE NON-BRITISH PEOPLE WERE LIKE "huh"
Lexi had cut her hair even shorter. Her girlfriend apparently got something called an undercut.
“Just in case someone dared to assume we were straight,” she had winked at him.
how many years has this fake dating been going on...
CENTURION SELENA
fterA the twins went to bed, David stepped out of the institute and went looking for his heart.
"went looking for his heart"
OH FUCK I FORGOT TO JOIN MY CLASS
MAX STOP DEPLETING YOUR SELF GODDAMN
And then somewhere along the way, Max’s heartbeat had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.
Max, with all his chaos and drama and danger, had become the steadiest thing in David’s life.
oh my god that's a parallel from canon
“Tell me why.”
“Ain't nothing but a heart break!!"
Max-
Max could make fireballs that killed demons on the spot. He could summon things from anywhere. He could heal people with his eyes closed. He was one of the youngest warlocks allowed to visit the spiral labyrinth.
Max was a warlock in every sense. A good one. A great one even.
he is so talented...
Only idiots would underestimate Magnus Bane’s power.
EXACTLY
He is probably going to be Consul like next week.”
David chuckled. “Next week?”
next week????
“Yeah, his smoking habits,” Max rolled his eyes.
Rafael wasn’t the smoker in the family. He knew who it was, but David would never open his mouth. It wasn’t his secret to tell.
this keeps on getting better
“It’s my hair!” David laughed.
“And you’re my David!” Max argued. “I say you are not allowed to grow your hair.”
MY DAVID
MY DAVID
MY DAVID
“I don’t want to downworld-splain it to you.”
Max blinked and then laughed. “You don’t want to what?”
“Downworld-splain,” David mumbled. “It’s when shadowhunters explain downworlders how to be downworlders.”
they were SO close to kissing
I'm gonna get in there and lock them in a closet together and tell them to FUCKING GET WITH IT
Remember who you are. Remember where you stand.
remember who you are. remember where you stand...
I know this is supposed to be about portals.
OH MY GOD THEY KISSED
THEY KISSED
IM SO CLOSE TO SCREAMING CLASS AND EVERYONE OUTSIDE THIS ROOM BE DAMNED
OH MY GOD DAVID FELL
reminds me of when alec fell down the stairs-
OH MY GOD I'M GONNA SCREAM
WE'RE GONNA GET MORE MAVID CONTENT SOON I'M SCREAMING INTERNALLY UYDRVFY7VSDU7UYVFSDUYGCADUYIGJCDSHJKGDVCSUGISDVHVF
ok, I have a computer assignment to get to and tests to study for. BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER SO SO MUCH!! THEY FINALLY KISSED I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!
Also I know I tend to go off track and you can totally ignore that. i just go crazy. BYEE
This live blog gives me so much life you don't even know. I am go glad you enjoyed the chapter. I love hearing you rant about it. It's refreshing lol.
And I looooooove the lil anecdotes you share in between. Also wtf is a programming class like nobody wants to learn programme what kind of hetero nonsense I-
FINISH YOUR ASSIGNMENTS AND STUDY FOR YOUR TESTS I'LL SEE YOU SOON :)
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