#tw transmisogny mention

[sword93]

My only say on the stupid “do trans men or trans women have it worse” discourse is simple.

Is it worse to be likely murdered in the street or likely murdered in your home?

Oh, Both are equally bad? And happen for similar and different reasons?

Well, there you go.

[prayerworksfolks]

The only cis woman I ever dated was "on break from women" because her lesbian feelings made her feel predatory. And it's like, I'm woman 💁 But she did defend me when the guy giving her coke tried to convince her that I was predatory.

Small win

[saintjosie]

i posted this without nuance because i was annoyed but there are some tags that are misunderstanding transmisogny and also why i hate the idea of “tme”. so let me break it down for yall.

first of all, what is transmisogny? transmisogny is a term coined to label the specific form of marginalization that occurs at the intersection of both transphobia and misogny as it affects trans women. and yes, this only applies to trans women because that’s just the definition of the word as we use it at the moment and it’s not something i just made up. yes there are people who experience who experience both transphobia and misogyny but in this case, that is not what we are talking about.

well that sure sounds like some people are exempt from experiencing transmisogyny doesn’t it? so then what’s the issue with “tme”?

the issue is how the discussion around transmisogny has evolved. transmisogny is absolutely a necessary concept in the same way that misogynoir is a necessary concept. we needed a word to describe the unique intersection of transphobia and misogyny that trans women face in order to discuss it. and in many other online spaces and also in discussions that happen in irl queer circles, that’s exactly how it’s used. and that’s a good thing!

but also there has been a noticeable shift in online spaces where terms that we use within the trans community have been weaponized against other trans women to invalidate the way that some people transition.

for example, the terms “transsexual” has a complicated history of being used to invalidate the experiences of trans women unable to medically transition and weaponized against bipoc trans women specifically. that’s where the term originally comes from.

if you don’t believe me then listen to the experts:

mardi is a trans woman who is deeply respect because she is literally living history and a trailblazer carving the for trans women to exist as we do today.

and this is the post that educated me about this. (i’m not gonna find a link, you can do that yourself, but i absolutely did do the research and found the history of this and you can too.)

now does that mean that i think trans people should stop using the label transsexual? no, absolutely not. and that’s because this is a label that was slowly being reclaimed. but there is an enormous difference between knowing and understanding the complicated history of a label and its usage and choosing to use it anyways for the sake of reclamation and then actively working towards dismantling oppression.

and i specifically want to emphasize both the “was” and “active” portions here because the sad truth is that the overwhelming majority of people who identify as transsexual do not know or understand the history of the label and also do not ACTIVELY work towards dismantling oppression. and even worse, an overwhelming majority of these people are unknowingly and sometimes even intentionally using transsexual to once again differentiate between those able to “fully” medically transition. and yeah that means that these people are specifically invalidating any trans woman who doesn’t have bottom dysphoria and doesn’t want bottom surgery.

and THAT is the issue. online trans discourse is regressing back through decades of work that bipoc trans women and intersectional feminists have fought for with their blood sweat and tears, all so that the most privileged of white trans women can defend their twitter presence and throw their weight around online.

and now a major trigger warning is necessary for the next paragraph for mention of suicide.

//having once been welcomed into and also actively a part of these circles, i’ve seen trans women of color harrassed and bullied off the internet by white trans fems with hundreds of thousands of twitter followers. i’ve seen bipoc trans women literally take their own lives over this.// end tw.

and now we come back to transmisogny and “tme”. the white trans women committing actual violence towards other trans women are using their marginalized identity as a shield to prevent themselves from criticism. they are using the fact that they sit at the intersection of transphobia and misogyny to excuse their behavior and go without any consequence.

i’ve seen these trans women go on rants after this violence has occurred saying things like “that’s horrible that this person faced this but also i am still right and i can say these things because i am a trans woman and i face constant marginalization online.”

and to be perfectly honest, i talk about this mainly because this is something i have been guilty of myself in the past. because i, as a cis-passing east asian trans woman with pretty privilege, have proximity to whiteness in a way that bipoc trans women do not. and once it was pointed out to me by an incredibly kind and gracious bipoc trans woman, i had to take a real long and hard look at my internet presence and subsequently had work on myself for years to correct and atone for.

now we get to the core of the issue that i have with the idea of “tme”. this is the exact same behavior that we are now seeing from trans women who frequently talk about “tme”. and yep, once again the overwhelming majority of people who are using this are white.

by nature, the word exempt is excluding anyone who doesn’t identify as a trans woman from having any meaningful participation in the discussion around transmisogny because we are using this as a phrase to mean “shut up and listen to people more marginalized than you”. and more than the hurt that causes to “tme people” the real damage that this discussion has caused is to our own community.

because guess what, we as trans women DO face the most marginalization. and all we are doing by talking transmisogny in this way is alienating many of our own allies and degrading hope in true solidarity within our own community.

the reason i am so adamant about making this point is that there is an incredibly real problem of white queer people in general failing to recognize that white privilege will always supercede and form of marginalization. we talk about intersectionality by name only without ACTIVELY doing the work to dismantle oppression and in doing so, continue to alienate black and indigenous people within our community.

without acknowledging and dismantling whiteness, we end up doing things like making the majority of queer spaces irl inaccessible. how often do you see disabled people at queer bars? have you even bothered to check if your favorite queer bar has wheel chair access that isn’t being just being ushered by an employee through the back door?

how often do you see bipoc trans people in these spaces? have you ever stopped to ask them why? do you even know any bipoc trans people to ask?

ACTIVE dismantling requires more than just reblogging takes you see online.

ACTIVE dismantling requires listening.

ACTIVE dismantling requires constant self reflection and dismantling of your own privilege.

ACTIVE dismantling means praxis and not just discourse.

so if you have actually read this far, i would like to ask you - have you forgotten the active portion of your activism? are you “tma” and perpetuating transmisogny through alienation of the rest of our community?

just food for thought.

i think it’s very important to note that while discussions of transmisogny very much so exist in other online and real world spaces, discussions of “tme” do not…except in transmedicalist spaces

i wonder why that is?

[ceooflamp]

Okay so I'm seeing a rise of a very particular type of posting lead by TMEs that's really getting under my skin and i want to address it. I am TME myself so i can't speak for people affected by transmisogyny, but I feel like i should say SOMETHING at the very fucking least.

Okay so i keep seeing a term called "Transandrophobia" thrown around and i guess it seems inconspicuous (it really isn't though), but then it's usually always paired with "transmisandry" which literally doesn't fucking exist for one, but for two it insinuates that TMAs are oppressors of TMEs which is not the case.

Discussing the demonization of masculinity and perceived masculinity or misogyny they experience is something that many of these TMEs focus on too, but they do it in a way that completely leaves TMAs out of the discussion despite TMAs being specifically effected by BOTH of these things.

I don't want any transfems to get harassed from this post, so I'm making sure names are not mentioned. I will however not blur out the blog who made the post. At this point i know you all don't really go out of your way to harass TMEs in these situations also this person is very much a perpetrator of transmisogyny so I don't feel the need to.

[ID: Tumblr user transgentleman-luke says "So are we ready to talk about transandrophobia being encouraged by big-name transfeminine authors yet? Censored name's latest essay was pretty decent- until she decided to include the hashtag #NotAllTransGuys in one of her paragraphs, in which she insinuates that trans men speaking about their experiences with misogyny are being transmisogynistic by… speaking about what we have faced." There is a screenshot of the transfem's article it reads "understandable (if infuriating) that some trans male/masculine people may play up their female socializations and the misogyny they've experienced in the past in order to cast themselves as victims of the patriarchy, without realizing that this particular framing insinuates that trans female/feminine people are the patriarchy" End ID]

I'm not going to spend the rest of the post using screenshots of what he (the Tumblr user) said because he goes on for the whole post focusing on this one paragraph because this transfem author didn't word some things right. But literally all the author is pointing out is that TMEs often use what misogyny they have and do experience to completely disregard transmisogyny or act as though they are just as effected as TMAs by misogyny which is very much not the case. And to top it, yes TMEs do insinuate that TMAs are the patriarchy just because TMEs are effected by patriarchy too. The term transmisandry being used alongside transandrophobia makes that very fucking evident, because misandry is women holding power over men, and therefore this frames TMAs as the oppressors. And so does transandrophobia.

[seths-heart]

Reporting some TERFs, cause I have time now.

katstratfordisaterf

[anonil88]

Seeing people say Jules'/Hunter's boobs were sexualized in that far future college daydream is kind of interesting. There was nothing inherently sexual about that daydream. It was just two people waking up in the morning, if you sexualized it that's on you. Intimacy is not inherently sexual and neither are boobs. Boobs can just exist on TV and the real world just like "masc" nipples can without sex being the default behind showing them. Bodies and situations aren't inherently sexual unless the intent is there for it. Intent established by previous connotation / conversation or intent established by the viewers personal mindset.

Also it is very interesting that the first thing people do, whether they are aware or not, when seeing a trans person's body just existing is jump to sexualize them.

[thecourtofgraywaves]

Look, I gladly gave up Harry Potter, but I ain’t dropping Rocky Horror. No way, no how. Yes, O’Brien is a transphobe. I won’t deny that at all. But the music is good and I like Columbia’s outfit.

[masturbaeshion]

i’ve recently been hella educated about transmisogyny and what exactly it is.

and y’all, you know what?? it’s actually a lot more common than you’d think.

trans men and afab nonbinary people are not exempt from being transphobic towards trans women because they’re “also trans” i understand this, and i see my privilege.

many afab trans people think that saying “respect trans women!!” and then going and using slurs like tr*p or f*moby is even remotely ok EVEN in a joking sense. it makes my heart ache to see this happen. i am a culprit in using the term f*mboy as i originally thought it meant feminine cis men. i am open to suggestions on alternate words i could use that are less harmful and not as long as “cis feminine men”

i also would like to point out a fact that has been brought up by quite a few trans women out there.

when radical feminists campaign for literally anything, they target people with penises as the problem rather than MEN themselves. this obviously scoops trans women into the mix and many have demonized trans women because of it. i am ashamed for all cis radfems out there for being so ignorant. not all people with penises are men. they need to understand that. men are the problem. not the penis. the man.

you wouldn’t stab a person and blame the knife for hurting the victim, right? the knife is innocent. some people use knives for cutting vegetables. not all knives are for stabbing, right? so why would you blame the knife, and not the wielder of the knife??

terrible analogy, but some people’s brains require “ooga booga” type explanations to understand.

tldr: we need to be more mindful of how we approach trans women. we need to listen to them when they communicate vital information to us. afab trans people need to understand their privilege, and stop being utter cunts to trans women for speaking up on their own oppression.

[just-antithings]

FUCKING HELLO???? LITERALLY ANYONE WHO IS NOT A TRANS WOMAN IS TME, IT'S NOT "ASKING WHAT YOUR GENITALS ARE" YOU FUCKING WEIRDOS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU???????

in what universe is "are you a trans woman or not answer the fucking question you weirdo" not blatantly asking what someones genitals are lmfao