#turns out she had a crush on me and bc of her religion she didn't know what to do abt it

[mysunshine-youremoonlight]

man i have not thought abt my first friend in a long time. i hope she's well

[girlwithherheadinthestars]

the really complicated story no one asked for on how i became prom queen (karma is real)

i graduated and it doesn't matter any more but i still need advice bc idk how to life :D

cast:

me

academic rival (let's call him gingerbread -- no i will not be providing context for this name)

agatha (girl who i used to be friends with)

marjory (everyone loves her)

nelson (guy i've been friends with since we were kids)

eugene (guy i've liked since like i was born)

so for context gingerbread and i were dating in sophomore year, we broke it off because i said we're better off as friends (he's emotionally immature and i still had unresolved feelings for eugene) and i said we can still hang out as friends and he took advantage of that and we were basically hanging out more than when we were actually together. but then junior year begins and all of a sudden he hates my guts.

turns out he had a religious awakening over the summer and won't date anyone who isn't from his religion. so he developed a crush on marjory.

but then this year marjory rejected him and started dating nelson. but look guys i've known nelson my whole life but i would never ever date him because he did in fact go out with marjory while still with his ex. he's just weird. so gingerbread tried to intervene but because he's a possessive weirdo it came off badly.

and then i went to him and said hey. bestie. stop. this isn't a good look on you. leave them be. and then we got into a huge fight where he basically said our relationship never meant anything and i lost it. then he spent the rest of the month apologizing and buying me things and being all puppy dog and saying he didn't mean it and i eventually i relented.

BUT THEN

i realized i still liked eugene and i wanted to ask him to prom but when i told my friend agatha she told me eugene has a girlfriend from outside school who he's going to prom with and that she's much prettier than me (her words not mine). AND THE WEEK AFTER AGATHA GOES AND ASKS EUGENE TO PROM AND EUGENE SAYS YES.

so i talked to eugene's friend about this and he told me that agatha's been telling people that gingerbread and i are back together and he said eugene only agreed to go as friends.

infuriated as i was i still went to prom with my friends because it's my prom and i won't let anyone ruin it for me.

the night before prom gingerbread calls me and asks me to vote for his two friends to be prom king and queen.

i was like yeah ok whatever (i didn't vote -- i genuinely so busy my dress had to be taken in for shortening and that was a whole thing)

and then guess who gets voted prom king and queen.

me and eugene.

it was the most insane moment of my life i swear it was straight out of a frigging dream.

did we live happily ever after? i don't know. we spoke all of that night and then in graduation and i haven't seen him since (WHAT DO I DO)

but the repercussions of this? gingerbread is PISSED. so the girl gingerbread wanted to be prom queen is his best friend's girlfriend and everyone was texting her like do we vote for you? what's happening? and she was like no no no do not vote for me vote for (me) and eugene. they had a whole campaign because everyone knows how strict my parents are and the fact that i was allowed to go was such a miracle they wanted it to be celebrated (eugene was just a bonus, they were trying to make their ship set sail)

so agatha was left alone for the rest of the night sulking (*insert jojo siwa's karma* jk i don't endorse that), gingerbread glared at me the whole time, nelson and marjory came and congratulated me and eugene and i had our almost happily ever after.

my problems?

what do i do about eugene

how do i fix things with gingerbread (he's been such a good friend to me for so long and i feel so so bad even tho i know it's mostly his fault but i want to fix things before i leave and never see him again)

[falcqns]

i just saw ur post and noticed you mentioned church. are u religious? if so what religion? and i know you're lgbt as well so do u have any religious trauma? just asking as im lgbt and religious as well and i get shamed for it because i always say that i don't have trauma :(

hi there! yes i am! i am a christian, and have been my whole life, no matter what i told others (there was a period in my life where my friends said they were atheists and i kinda lied about being atheist lol)

and i totally relate to the not having religious trauma. obviously everyone is different, but my church, community and parents were all very very supportive and positive influences. there was no "you can't do that", "god doesnt approve", "you'll go to hell for that" kind of talk. my parents were always open with the fact that my body was mine to do with as i please (although my step dad liked to tease me that he'd kick my ass if i got a tongue piercing like my older sister lol). i wasn't forced to go to church every weekend, and was allowed to stay home, and this wasn't just my parents, this was my church as well. i was told that i would be accepted no matter my gender identity, sexual identity, or ability. i was apart of the family, and i was my dad's daughter, even though i am not biologically his, and there was never a mention of my birth father or my dad being my stepdad at church as i'd been going to that church since i was a baby.

they never forced christianity on me, but allowed me to find my own way in it. they encouraged certain things, like joining the choir and youth group, and hanging out with my church friends, but never forced me.

when i found out i was pregnant, i was worried that support would go away, but it didn't. i told my youth leaders, and they were so happy for me. eventually, i decided to have my baby shower there, and my pastor was so encouraging and supportive, and even asked if he could make an announcement about it before the sermon, and after, i didn't get one negative comment.

i never felt the need to come out because of this. that may sound weird, but what i mean is that i didn't have to be in the closet, and i didn't have to make myself sick about them not accepting me, bc i knew they would. i wore my necklace that andrew got me that said Florence on it (for florence pugh) and when one of the older ladies asked me about it i just said 'it's an actress that i have a crush on' she was so accepting and asked if she'd know her from anything. turns out she had seen Outlaw King with her nephew and we talked about how beautiful and kind she was.

when i changed my pronouns, i didn't tell anyone that i changed them, i just started correcting people when i was feeling more they/them than she/her. i'd just say 'actually, i feel more they/them today. i do still identify as she/her, but would prefer she/they' and that was that. no fuss or anything, and now if i'm not there (like if someones asking my aunt about me) they just use they them.

it is important to talk about religious trauma because it is severely damaging and someone should not have trauma from trying to be who they are on the inside, but we also need to erase the bias that every non straight, non cisgender person has religious trauma, because it's not true. that being said, if you're reading this and you have religious trauma, heres some resources:

please feel free to talk to me about religion and god, don't feel like you have to hide. any posts where i discuss religion will be tagged with #tw religion #tw god #tw god mention #tw church and #tw christianity. i love and accept you all <3

[lilolilyr]

WIP tag

@banashee tagged me to post another work in progress, so I will post, un-edited, whatever bullshit I came up with last night when I was already half asleep after watching an ep of Suits and then reading an old Hanni&Nanni (St. Clare's) book. I think what my brain came up with is a crossover between those and also my ever growing fanfic multiverse so there's timetravel and dimensions and shit... oh, and naturally it's gay.

Wip lverse

Central arrives at Lindenhof

R/T (teaches) just been outed or sth, girls behind them but school threatened with being closed- dance, with boys from other school, H idea: dance ww mm, boys? Jenny's brother -> have an in, & if not all boys join doesn't matter as long as no Lindenhof girls dance with them. T/R gerührt but also hope won't nach draussen dringen)

Light off

Ugh wheretf are we, middle ages? Fuckinf castle and it isn't even hogwarts. Light...

Edits lumos maxima to fit kronleuchter

War nich lang dunkel also gleich wieder ans helle gewöhbt

Year? Oh lemme guess... Uniforms, awkward dance, electronic light but no smart tech in sight,... Must be xx... Hate that. Already bad capitalism of after & still shitty institurionalised homophobia & racism & misogyny of before.

Eyeroll

Well source isn't here, all muggles

???

Explanation:

Muggle= nonmagical

^or>: sacrilege!

Why?? Why does religion fit better or worse to nonmagical world? If anything magic is sth u can't explain fitting to religion, and as I have magic and you don't, if God exists likes me better than u

Pls no existential discussions before 3am after I had 3 vodka

Gross

Anyways

Looking for source: different universes, if timetravel splits, no-good bc vicious cycle, looking for source

Not here

U sure?

Knocks on Wall

Opens

Body in wall

O.o

Dude dead

Windstoss, zeefällt fast

Shield

Ugh now can't check for..

Well otherwise body!

...

Call the cops- poliicee! Just tell them sb hit a spec spot of the wall & it opened to a body. S the truth. & don't worry bout everyone being shocked, s a body in the wall, u gotta be shocked.

Girls notice T R stressed & not as close as want - H N Hilda J B C go 'need to talk to both' -> form wall so they can hold hands. Before leave turn around, T quickly presses kiss to Rs hand

Central thanks for assistance, & as thanks help against homophobia: a little confoundus maybe? Yeah, everyone in Castle who is homophobic & wants to act on it in some way is gonna forget homophobia exists. Forever? Hm naaah just until goes to sleep, but if next day same, same. Maybe enough to realise world doesn't end...

Isnt confoundus illegal?

Not if administered in a way xxxx by xxxx intentions and duration blah

???

Yeah lawyertalk u wouldn't understand

Oh shut up Harvard

Harvard? Yeah-

Already exists?

Founded in xxxx! Bitch. Bet already prestigious

...

Marianne near freak-out

Never allowed herself to think about it

Not since kissed Carla that day

Knows Carla just thinks about it and doesn't act on it, but she needed pretend wasn't a thing

Punches stuff in sportraum

H:??

Explains

So?? Not a problem for T R

Well they're not students!

?? Difference

Changing rooms! Schlafsaal!

So? I mean if makes u feel better guess can just turn around? But like eh. Hey actually... Ur into girls... So u know what looks good...

???

Would u be willing to check me out & tell me..... Bc want to impress some guy... U get to look without having to feel bad & I get info!

Not sure same (wlw mlw attraction)

Eh whatever best I've got. So?

Shrug sure whatever

In underwear when rest comes

???

Look

M shrugs like go for it

H explains happily

Rest also wants opinion

Petra eg afraid doesnt look good because Figur- M says pretty face way more important. Hilda says plus character more important anyway! M kinda almost laughs which makes Hanni laugh out loud.

Mamsell? Or sb comes around corner, Hanni (still in underwear) tries to hide, falls over tangled in skirt.

Who didn't ask M? Carla... What's with her anyway?

///before mamsell//Who's the prettiest?

Flickers to C. C blushes

Aww

Another pair of birdies?

Shut up!

Not since...

Omg so there is a since!

M heftig Yes but never again bc knew couldbt be!

Well now could...

C still won't tell mom- not cause she wouldn't approve but she'd worry about me and can't put her under strain bc health

M course

Just kiss already!

Oy!

Well?

Laugh and then they do bc wtf might as well happen this day already is so goddamn weird

Meanwhile J/B like when are they finally gonna figure it out lol

& Elli slowly realising that maybe those obsessions with Sadie and MrsQ etc were actually crushes xD

Hanni- heteroflexible

Nanni- ace

Jenny- bi/pan

Bobby- genderfluid, pan

Marianne- butch lesbian

Carla- femme lesbian

Elli- bicurious/bi

Doris- nonbinary/transmasc and still figuring out his sexuality

Hilda- lesbian

Carlotta- bi

Petra- straight

Jürgen straight

Peter x Wolfgang

Claudine trans girl

Sadie??

Yeah ok imma not explain but I might post a proper (ish) version on ao3 or my draft blog @thelucyverse some time :)

Tagging whoever sees this and wants to share!